the war in bosnia ended almost 24 years ago but for some the conflict lives on is a bitter part of everyday life. many some of us a little but we're not children of love we're children of hate it took me a long time to accept that the war is the only reason i'm alive that these. children born of wartime rape a taboo topic in bosnia these children are now adults fighting against discrimination. and it was said that it was important to keep the pressure on those in power so they finally changed the laws over to amy says our county was full. but other similar to keep it those were the times when i was 15 and in high school when i found a box with all the notes from the psychologists and therapists my mother went to

see yet they documented every detail of the rape what happened her injuries and i was alone at home and read it all you know she was and suddenly i didn't know who i was anymore my whole life just fell apart. and messed up. when we meet i know usage she's 25 and studying psychology in sarajevo her mother never wanted her to know that she was conceived by rape. ever since her discovery i know has felt like a living legacy of the war. between 190-2195 syria a vote was ravaged by an ethnic conflict between bosnian muslims serbs and croats. the war was characterized by ethnic cleansing mass murder and systematic militarized great. no one knows how many women were sexually assaulted. estimates range between 205-0000. up to 4000 children were both. and to the victims in bosnia

they're called the invisible children. for many the war is history but not for i know as a child of rape she's endured stigmatization and discrimination official bosnian documents require a father's name as files the field is empty. even now after more than 20 years whenever i go to the authorities i still have to tell some guy behind the counter that my mother was raped i don't know who my biological father is can i still apply for student aid got so. and you. i know has teamed up with others in the same situation their association forgotten children of war is fighting for an end to discrimination and for equal rights they also want the government to recognise bosnia's

invisible children as war victims a status that grants certain types of assistance the demand has drawn abusive comments on their facebook page. closeness no shame i could be close to. one rehearsal rolled out on our mothers were prostitutes it wasn't our fault. but they'd sold their bodies for a little food. comments like that to be shocked me really. should be. many invisible children have never overcome their feelings of shame. feelings i know as mother knows well she lives 200 kilometers from sarajevo . and i went through so much with me we were all alone. the hardest thing was when someone at work would ask me who and his father was well . we were like a leaf in the wind tossed every which way by the things happening around us.

until she was 7 i know a little of her mother's a b. no no woman safe house run by an aid organization sabina had a waitressing job in a cafe. that was where she met her husband. the mason took her and i know and they moved to his home village. but after the war hatred and distrust ran deep in bosnian society. it really wasn't easy here in the village. just unthinkable the single man would marry a woman with a child. never one gossip why doesn't he find himself another woman one without a child. it was divided into 2 minds when you said no one apart from

news read knew the story of your birth. and wanted to keep it a secret forever. when it became known that sabina had been raped by an enemy soldier and conceived i know the family faced open hostility. to. us. and i'm going to. the hardest part was explaining she would all those abusive terms meant. she wanted to know the definition of bastard in all those words. i know a stepfather knows that served as a soldier in the war he longed for a happy family life but the you such as were ostracized in the village and i know faced repeated verbal harassment. rules for move or we were had so many problems with people here they didn't know what to make of our situation it took

a long time and there was such an unending amount of arguments before they finally accepted our family and i now i finally had someone i could take care of she gave my life meaning. a broader up center to school. renewables only school boys so they. i know as mother had already endured a horrific ordeal after being raped by a croatian soldier she went into denial. by the time she realized she was pregnant it was too late for an abortion. money so he promised. someone we have a car i don't want to keep or i didn't even see or as a human being that. until next i just waited to get the birth over with to be finally rid of this thing inside me because some of the old line after she was born i didn't pick her up for 3 months didn't change a single diaper. sometimes i still wonder if it would have been better to give her

up for adoption i love me and i mean she wouldn't have to deal with all of this today. one of the lefties maybe she'd just been working somewhere as a hairdresser and her life would be simpler needs to know it's not true. on what isn't a minute. far as i'm concerned life what i know would be meaningless. anyway i knew it was no good we created a happy home for the victims of rape it can be challenging to lead a normal family life and lead. a small town of good roster is located 200 kilometers from new straits village. it's home to a hospital nurse in move which and his adoptive father moved him in the war island's mother was raped by numerous serbian soldiers when she came to this

hospital to give birth it was under siege moved him was the custodian here. could move through the world to go to spenda know if she gave birth to him. because the next day she just disappeared she left him enough. for food to the hospital it was full of war casualties at the time and it was kind of. there were hardly any normal patients will be reboarded certainly good news for the. move him and other hospital employees cared for the infant. the going is that still leaves you with look i've. got to slave and that's it you're just going to in time you. give orders to all of them fellas and yeah but it's hard to say but it might have just been i guess can keep order. to me by leaving with us cotton how it's good and says i'm. allan takes us home to his apartment but he doesn't want to meet his wife and child

. so cruel it was that on my birthday that was your best. plus i 5 know for you. such happy celebrations were only possible because most of them often took the orphaned island home with him. this. one day i came home and had to tell my family that we would soon have to say goodbye darling to because the hospital put him up for adoption. and there was a rule the kid started crying and that's how it happened we couldn't part with him so we adopted him ourselves. alan's adoptive family brought him up like their own son but that didn't protect

him from being singled out for verbal abuse for many he remained the son of an enemy. it's very upsetting to be called serb bastard or told you were found in a garbage bin being excluded like that was really awful for me condemn the victims not the perpetrators and they still do to this day. to. this trauma exclusion stigma discrimination. this is what the war bequeath to the invisible children. pollin and i know that in 2017 through a study on post-war trauma together they set up their organization forgotten children of war they've already managed to kindle unprecedented public debate in bosnia about the subject of wartime rape. the prisoners the business community.

but. our 1st big step is getting an appraisal of the legal situation. gotten ourselves a lawyer. she's examining bosnian laws and international conventions. the children's rights convention or the human rights convention of. the other not just. one lasting problem which children of the war face is that we've lost a fundamental human right the right to respect for private and family life. as they push for legislative reform they hope to raise awareness of their situation . is worthwhile going public and talking openly about this after all the years we suffered in enduring the usual what we know where we come from. the books that were called for so long. in bosnia herzegovina today people like arlen and i know

are not considered war victims. i know is working to change that with the help of lawyer bill done and. it's a formality with wide reaching consequences the children of veterans and war invalids are entitled to housing benefits and educational grants. the children of rape victims get no such support. when the children of rape victims buy or inherit property for example they have to pay the full tax write that more victims on the other hand get a 50 percent tax rebate. the law is trying to clarify whether bosnian law is in breach of international conventions and human rights. she's optimistic and explains why. as the squeaking movie. i'm only said i have gone through the international

conventions to see if bosnian law is in violation and then i came across the section that states there is an ombudsman for cases like ours so i looked it up in the ministry. but it turns out they don't have an ombudsman much they just never installed the position that idea of the said. he was that the un could address that . yes that would be good because of our own legal assessment otherwise they won't find out about it is not a good look at question is what international conventions carry weight in bosnia a country that depends on financial aid. lawyers use them as a basis to press for reforms. to plan on the lees a quote about the loss to me our legal assessment is probably the 1st ever on wartime rape no it's definitely the 1st ever consequence of the law simply have to be altered to reflect what happened with them and to comply with international norms not a document to be told means. laws

were largely adopted from the federation of yugoslavia to which it belonged. bosnia-herzegovina was established by the 1995 digna courts which ended the war and set up a power sharing government designed to represent the country's 3 major ethnic groups . it was considered a temporary solution but to this day the presidency rotates between a serb a muslim and a croat. and its frozen ethnic divisions and place. i know wants to do her part to overcome these divisions she's unrolled at a youth academy financed by the german government it's open to bosnia muslim serbs and croats students. during the 12 month course the young people learn about political processes and civic engagement and human rights and they graduate with a diploma that makes them eligible to apply for jobs with the government or human rights groups. initially i know didn't share her personal history with her fellow

students but that didn't read her story in a media report now she too was engaged with the invisible children's fight for equality. that was out of the mothers of. your luggage and a great ficta has got a small benefit in the croat and muslim regions of bosnia it's about $300.00 euro but in the serb part it's much less that's absurd as a major crime is the same no matter where it happened you can't. differentiate between banja luka and sarajevo you know it was that it was a musician that i know now yet another one is the play now is very reserved and she would never open up and tell you all about herself the most the deal in there some people think she's aloof even a little arrogant. but what's impressed me about her particularly after i heard her personal story is that she never makes distinctions you know pretty to those. for

her all victims are equal. they are all equally traumatised. by that officials will question you and force you to tell them the whole story yeah it's a catch marginalisation the facade the scope of what place you know it's normal for you when you're used to it but it's dreadful question why do you have to divulge the details of your mothers or deal to a total stranger every single time why. dashed. with you here at the academy i know it isn't just learning how to fight discrimination and human rights violations of course has also helped her overcoming as id's over meeting new people and opening up to them is that you know. when she started attending the fruit round there was really a pleasure to see how much she's ready to work on herself and she made it great progress especially on a personal development in terms of your relation to the group.

now i now find she can speak openly about parts of her past but there are other parts she still guards a secret. because not limited to 3 i know the name of the guy who raped my mother i've done research and he has another daughter and a son some. time trying to set him up. as an only child i know always longed for siblings. now so now your chip prospected i just passed my brother won my sister did i look at them when they get about the some. 5 now and i ask myself if i've ever unknowingly crossed paths with my siblings chicago for them to simply assert that i got and over the years my desire to meet them is grown yet i soon realized that's not possible i simply can't do that to my own mother and i thought that his would be devastating for her yet. maybe they could sort of my up in it because logic. has

decided not to look for siblings well it's somewhere in syria evil. she has to find other ways to put the past behind her. a lot of us and some of us a woman as i tell myself there's nothing shameful about it women no society has taught me that i have to feel shame but i know i have nothing to be ashamed of. that's why i've turned my life around and focused on my past it's given my life real meaning. i know meets up with a lawyer has done a lot in downtown syria but. they're joined by all the sort of the association with. it has 13 members but most of stayed away because they don't want to be filmed by our cameras. the group is

fighting for the same status as children of war veterans and invalids. and for the right to withhold the name of their biological father on official paperwork no questions asked for boy that's good news. i've looked at the laws in all parts of the country and everywhere public offices only require you to name one parent it doesn't matter if it's the father or mother . the cine a tree arkell civil servants always ask for the father's name but there is no legal basis for that request all it's about the how it was and we need to make this public as soon as past. because then you can decide which name you provide you can take care of all your paperwork without mentioning your personal story option of what's the novice to me in the book to me it. doesn't appear in my case i can provide the name of my adoptive father also both of my mother's parents did the same inheritance rights as my sisters. of the. over them was me so that's great if we can choose which parent to name we're adults we

can decide for ourselves which name to provide the authorities with. the 3 more people the group agrees to hold a news conference to publicize the mistake authorities are making. it's already discovered that together they can make a difference. was. that . it's graduation day for i know her fellow course members her mother is a pita and stepfather to sort of come for the occasion. i know studied here at the academy for a year and by the end of it was able to speak openly with her classmates about her past. this is my mother i'm. sad to see if i am i think. that what i mean is that it was not up. let's go now to.

some some of them my biggest moment i look at my mother and just see how strong she is i'm proud that she's my mother it doesn't matter to me that i was born from hatred she did off me and wants me to be happy. to meet him and get to limit my pleasure than have all the. titer has also completed her psychology degree she's now attending the 1st international congress of child and adolescent psychotherapy in bosnia. it was organized by her friend and mentors the trauma specialist which she

conducted the 1st scientific studies on post-war trauma in bosnia and introduced i know to alan. simpson so. this. is a commoner war and so that the taboo against speaking about sexual wartime violence serves to pass the trauma like poison from one generation to the next the only remedy she says spoken discussion. of it gets children born of war have very painful unpleasant experiences as they grow up these often lead to trauma related disease and psychiatric disorders on the bottom which i posted for example post traumatic stress disorders depression or some are to form disorders and. in addition there are complex long term consequences such as a lack of family support which can have a social and economic impact. as a researcher are wants to put

a human face on her findings she's hoping for i know how but it's a challenge. a big problem here is also this. and a culture of rape that is. still present in tradition bound boston culture. society often think of the issue afraid as mathare off and. but not as a matter. violation of human rights has been mentoring i know over the past 2 years. her support is. for me now is the most important because. she she knows everything. and. and i don't know what to do i just call on what i and she she she she have never time and it's to the most beautiful. moment

of the nation ship so my other mother. during the conference i know suddenly makes a decision she feels ready to face the audience and speak for the 1st time in public about her past. the drop of the of my daughter and i like to introduce i have a usage she has a bachelor's in psychology and just graduated top of her class from the academy run by the german youth organization shuler health in leven and i hope she'll soon do her masters in psychology. thanks. for the report because most of those i can ask ourselves whether it was just us or

whether there were others like us you know whether there were people who could sincerely say i understand you what you went through wasn't easy. i stand before you as the living proof that the damages inflicted by war cannot be assigned to a nationality or ethnic groups but the cynosure my rape has nothing to do whatsoever with nationality when there is a traumatic experience and that's how we should treat it like you. i know will fight on not just for herself but for all those who have suffered like her so that bosnians invisible children can step out of the shadows and live a life without discrimination in dignity.

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