time the different people places and stories are another aspect but i also want to show people that they can achieve anything if they want to shaft. for martin sport is possibly the most important means of dealing with his depression it creates a balance between the body and the mind and helps him prove to himself that he can do something. i know people who don't have legs who can climb there's a woman here who doesn't have any legs and she manages to climb up i think we're only is limited in so far as we set ourselves limits and that's a part of the depression to say that we can do something but what can we do there are days when i feel i can't get out of bed i can't get out of bed i have arms and legs. just before he is due to set off for the netherlands martin suffers a setback. instead of going to dwell on foot he's off to the nearest hospital

and the doctor's orders are clear. so. it's an infection of the joint bacteria also it's in the tissue. it's become known for being someone who will follow his own plan but the doctor was adamant that i shouldn't do it. it's good so he said it was a very bad idea to walk 200 kilometers he said my body needed calm and relaxation. and. brain hines's martin's ex-girlfriend he was planning to meet her on his walk but instead she has come to see him in cologne. she wanted to comfort and encourage him ahead of his speech. she knows what such a setback might do having had 1st hand experience of his depression. i think it was difficult for me was that he wasn't predictable. oh it's.

the ups and downs because the ups and downs and highs and lows which change so fast . and then i would think. ok he's again and now he's there that was the biggest challenge i that was that i was with only. a few days later martin is off to the netherlands by car the cast is gone but he's still not allowed to walk. his parents were on holiday 6 years ago when he called them and told them he was going to end his life. we felt powerless and sad and it was very difficult to understand little because martin also has a lot of humor and a joyful science out. yeah. but he will do more. for all of the columns and i feel it was really difficult for us as parents. we had

feelings of guilt if i think of on have you start wondering what you did grown what didn't you see it's not easy to accept the science while last. night the next day martin took a lethal mixture of sleeping tablets and painkillers. me about in there i didn't care about point i just didn't want to have these feelings i couldn't bear the pain anymore. but something made me think that i shouldn't do it this can't be the solution whatever the problem is. to me so i went to the toilet and i threw up. but i was quite lucid from that point on. and i called the emergency services.

now martin knows how to deal with the ups and downs better. bathing in ice cold water helps him when he undergoes a setback he tries to use it to find some force instead of sinking back into a black hole. that's what he plans to talk about later today. indicates the cold does me good so i wanted to make sure that i did it one more time before my speech so that all the energy all my thoughts came together instead of being dispersed audio mind to everything in symbiosis so that i'll be able to go in as calm and collected as possible almost. now that he's ready he and his friend and manager max go off together to the venue where the event is taking place. there's a bit of fine tuning before he finally goes on stage. he's nervous after weeks of

preparing for the 18 minute long speech. my name is martin hellman and germany we need to talk. rather swim under a sheet of ice climb into the ring or go climbing without a rope. try to tell you a few more things that i'd rather do. but he doesn't it's time to be serious. thank. you but i'm smart and my name is martin helen and i suffer from heavy depression i always start suppressing myself my questions my emotions hiding everything that makes me mean it's probably better just to function before i start looking for excitement to find a balance i think everything is a great idea alcohol drugs driving with my eyes closed for more and more time i put

my health at risk sex fights destruction. like 6 years ago when my depression was so bad that i didn't know what to do. so i tried to end my life as a vital. obviousness of my life why didn't i talk there's a simple reason why i didn't talk people don't talk about mental problems i learned that early on at school or at the club at home always friends. but now i'm talking about i'm not going to stop talking. if you're only 3 or germany we have to talk then listen when. i forgot half of it.

i'm so proud of you. of us how was it for you. know i don't know yet. i'm still completely overwhelmed by emotions feelings. it was great but i don't know what it was yet but i think i'll figure it out in the next few hours the feelings. here when really fast. there are many enthusiastic people waiting in the foyer for martin people who also suffer from depression or know people with depression martin has given them hope by speaking so openly. hope that they too will find a way of dealing with depression.

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