no goodbye no story. with exclusive insights. into a must see concerning parts and culture to your own. place to be curious minds. do it yourself networkers. so subscribers don't miss. martin hammond has bipolar disorder like an estimated 350000000 people worldwide his greatest challenge is how to live an orderly life amid alternating bouts of mania and depression. towards long i didn't feel so good this morning when i woke up i felt as if there was a great fog in my head. and that happens often i was there 1st.

it's not immediately obvious that martin suffers from depression but he often struggles with ordinary daily tasks even getting up in the morning can be tough certain routines can help him get through the day for example meditating frequently or talking to others and speaking openly about his situation. i think that i've learned to tell people who are already who i am. and how i react and this helps. sometimes i tell friends to take it easy with me if i'm feeling a bit down introverts in august. in the periods of depression martin is often plagued by feelings of hopelessness and and guilt. 6 years ago he was so

depressed that he decided to commit suicide. in the manic phase as he is full of energy and feels very creative. he explores the contrasts in his feelings in the music that he compares. the souffle biggest there are many feelings ups and it's what i've packed them into different chapters and they conjure up a very deep or special meaning for moments for me. and one of them is the evening that i try to end my life. so the feelings of joy sadness the whole spectrum of so to speak. psychotherapy and medication helps martin get over his suicidal feelings now he gets by without any treatment sport and breathing exercises helping to keep the

depression under control. he is preparing to go on stage to talk about his experiences he wants to share his coping mechanisms with others though he knows that they might not work with everyone who is affected with bipolar disorder has to attend a forum for exchanging ideas and promoting personal advancement. i'm very nervous but i want people to really understand what's burning in me and what i want to bring across the guys i want to encourage people to make the steps that i've made in life. next year you. created your own rules why go by the by the way but there is still plenty to do. along with his friend and manager max martin is planning to walk from his home in cologne to his hometowns vala in the netherlands 200 kilometers away. the idea is

to prepare him physically and mentally for the speech. if you don't want to we talked a lot about different things about martin and about me as well and then we came to a point where we thought that we had to go public and reach a wider audience that people should listen to martin and a framework should be created. and that's not something i want to help with. martin has so many ideas so many emotions. you can be doing it and that means he wants to get things done faster but perhaps i could help find a direction. with the wind because. martin is planning to meet people from his past as he walks people who know what he went through. so often isn't talking is one aspect and the different people places and stories are another aspect but i also want to show people that they can achieve anything if they want to that shaft. for

martin sport is possibly the most important means of dealing with his depression it creates a balance between the body and the mind and helps him prove to himself that he can do something. conventional i know people who don't have legs who can climb as a woman here who doesn't have any legs and she manages to climb up i think we're only is limited in so far as we sentence sounds limits and that's a part of the depression to say that we can do something but what can we do there are days when i feel i can't get out of band i can't get out of bed i have arms and legs. just before he has to decide after the netherlands martin suffers a setback. instead of going to swallow on foot he's off to the nearest hospital. and the doctor's orders are clear. so.

it's an infection of the joint it's bacteria also it's in the tissue. it's become known for being someone who will follow his own plan but the doctor was adamant that i shouldn't do. its work so he said it was a very bad idea to walk 200 kilometers he said my body needed calm and relaxation. and. brain hines's martin's ex-girlfriend he was planning to meet her on his walk but instead she has come to see him in cologne. she wanted to comfort and encourage him ahead of his speech. she knows what such a setback might do having had 1st hand experience of his depression. i think what was difficult for me was that he wasn't predictable. unfortunately the ups and downs of the car the ups and downs and highs and lows which change so fast. and then i would think.

ok he's again and now he's there that was the biggest challenge i that was there was. a few days later martin is off to the netherlands by car the cast is gone but he's still not allowed to walk. his parents were on holiday 6 years ago when he called them and told them he was going to end his life. we felt powerless and santita and it was very difficult to understand because martin also has a lot of humor and a joyful side. yeah. and i feel it was really difficult for us as a parent not so long if i could be and we had feelings of guilt if i think of on have you start wondering what you did wrong what do you see it's not easy to accept the science will heal last waltz. right the next day martin took

a lethal mixture of sleeping tablets and painkillers you may have us in there why didn't care at that point i just didn't want to have these feelings i couldn't bear the pain anymore. but something made me think that i shouldn't do it this can't be the solution whatever the problem is. to me so i went to the toilet and i threw up. but i was quite lucid from that point on. and i called the emergency services. now mark knows how to deal with the ups and downs better. bathing in ice cold water helps him when he undergoes

a setback he tries to use it to find some force instead of sinking back into a black hole. that's what he plans to talk about later today. it's driving me to the cold does me good so i wanted to make sure that i did it one more time before my speech so that all the energy all my thoughts came together instead of being dispersed already in mind to everything in symbiosis so that i'll be able to go in as calm and collected as possible so much. now that he's ready he and his friend and manager max go off together to the venue where the event is taking place. there's a bit of fine tuning before he finally goes on stage. he's nervous after weeks of preparing for the 18 minute long speech. my name is martin herman and germany we

need to talk. on nervous rather swim under a sheet of ice climb into the ring or go climbing without a rope. shall i tell you a few more things that i'd rather do. but it doesn't it's time to be serious. when i'm smart and my name is martin hellman and i suffer from heavy depression i always start suppressing myself my questions my emotions hiding everything that makes me mean it's probably better just to function before i start looking for excitement to find a balance i think everything is a great idea alcohol drugs driving with my eyes closed for more and more time i put my health at risk sex fights destruction. like 6 years ago when my depression was

so bad that i didn't know what to do. so i tried to end my life as vital as the publishers of my life why didn't i talk there's a simple reason why i didn't talk to people don't talk about mental problems i learned that early on at school or at the club at home always friends. but now i'm talking about i'm not going to stop talking can you image me on germany we have to talk business in the way. thank you got half of it. so. i'm so proud of you. how was it for you. i don't know yet. i'm still completely overwhelmed by

emotions feelings. it was great but i don't know what it was yet. i think i'll figure it out in the next few hours the feelings. here when really fast. i. thank there are many enthusiastic people waiting in the foyer for martin people who also suffer from depression or know people with depression martin has given them hope by speaking so openly. hope that they too will find a way of dealing with depression. reducing

the risk of flooding and erosion by creating hillside terraces. the landa well finest fear losing the harvests and the initiative use its own techniques to create me the solution. that it's moving successful. global 3000 next d.w. . community and justice and freedom the

1st words of the german national anthem and the 3 central values that form the foundation of this country and that's the baseball somalia one always has to fight for justice will ensue never give in and secure for all time to shut up is this. hour in germany khartoum justice in 45 minutes on d w. birth home to millions of species a home worth saving. on those are big changes and must start with small steps global ideas tell stories of creative people and innovative projects around the world like to use the term the climate boost green energy solutions and

reforestation. they create interactive content teaching the next generation about environmental protection and we're determined to build something here for the next generation global ideas the multimedia environment series on d.w. . com. welcome to global 3000. today we head to the peruvian andes to meet a few trailblazing women who are willing to bear a heavy burden to make gains in gender equality. in rwanda heavier.