welcome to the what is the game here. to talk about. that's what. you want. hey that we're back with the brand new edition of the 77 percent eddie mike julia so they are we covering a topic that is have all the attention violence against women we'll get into it in a bit. but also coming up on the show we meet women who are breaking the cycle and fighting for the iraq. debate we discussed how social media could help break the culture of silence.

concerns about some young girls have become he said says to me by learning how to swim. finally we discover the bustling city of while a coming together plus size model style but before all of that let's focus on the issue of violence against women some women like i do much about from ivory coast are subjected to unimaginable acts of brutality when she was just 13 years old she was forced to marry a 72 year old man by that was just the beginning of him like that this is a much a story. after him forced marriage. life tend into a living nightmare in the best of rage the husband of her hands. after their wedding my husband caught me with a machete. and after us he just threw me

into the. plastics he left her there to die with a 24 cus interest on my body and without her hands luckily she was quickly found and received medical aid thanks to a series of humanitarian aid initiatives a limit. slowly money to recover and i started a new life she went back to school and recently graduated. my game i'm happy despite my disability and i'm not ashamed of it nor in my afraid of people i've had to find the strength to face them in their looks but that strength has also helped me to go to school and learn to read and write. and i think. she hopes to one day have course to take on and to be able to continue with

his studies she also wants to become an ambassador for the fight against ellie and forced marriages and domestic violence so. they could use my story and share what happened to me to educate traditional parents about forced marriages and help stop them miles from the ivorian government they knighted nations invade us civil society groups have launched initiatives to combat forced marriages and fallen against women but many challenges still remain i am shocked and angered by what she's been through suddenly one 3rd of all over and girls are forced to marry we should all learn from the story and gather the courage to say no every woman has a right to decide who they want to marry now as difficult as it is to hear these stories once and until we find solutions i also want to raise your awareness about sexual violence emanuel on sunday is

a really survive out working as an activist in the article she's inspiring other women and girls to stand up against. came to south east of the d.r. c. capital kinshasa there's a swathe monolith sunday and her friends go from door to door trying to educate locals about rape they will talk to anyone who's willing to listen. to them. a few years i said how old is she then when i was 7 what's her name brenda when i was like brenda you see her near when i was trained as age when i was raped . by your liking him on a list stories unfortunately far from being unique in the d r c sexual violence is commonly used as a weapon of war in manila how to survive twice a soldier repair when she was told a child later a family member also abused her sexually despite the fact that so many women at the

r.c. are victims of rape this to suffer widespread stigmatization. i was rejected i feel discriminated even ostracized some parents would beat their children because they plead with me i tried to commit suicide 4 times i didn't believe in living i couldn't find a reason to stay alive. but at 21 year old decided to turn her suffering into a source of strength. she founded a mangy forcing my neighbor with an aim to break the temple around rape by telling her story opening she has become a source of inspiration for many. of you know one or. if a man rapes your daughter even if you take him to court they will release him and he will be back in the streets living his life and you will have to take care of your

child can you see if it were much. public the way manila talked because that problem of rape affects so many parents where my hands. on experience in the challenge yes yes how to phrase have given her purports in life she strives to improve the lives of women and girls she hopes that others will join her on her path. for all they have suffered it's inspiring to see how determined they are to tackle this menace but the big question is how can we prevent violence like this from happening in the future we can break the cycle together and yes that includes. our reporter can money travel to nigeria's capital abuja to seek answers in our street debate on how social media can help address gender based violence.

in the me too movement began online it started what cannot and will not be stopped a conversation about sexual and gender based violence that movement mushroomed across many parts of the world including right here in nigeria well today we're in a budget and we're trying to find out just how effective is social media in the fight against sexual and gender based violence and you know i want to begin with a lady who actually started a movement here called arrow on me to our own meaning the northen part of nigeria for korea how did it feel when you started this hashtag what inspired you to do it and what was the impact immediately a young girl. came on twitter and she she opened up about her experience of abuse 2 years ago and for me it was just a tweet made out of silly diary but i didn't know it was going to open up you know a can of worms because what it turned out to be was that people found a safe space in the hash tag so this is sort of the work that you're doing in the

north looking at investigating but to clearly gender rules to what effect has cultural contributed to what we're hearing here we have this culture of shyness which you know is kind of like get it in things you don't talk about they feel like it's immoral to talk about say it to talk about you know how to handle yourself how to protect yourselves i was in rural communities and communities so i used to believe that you know those people because they don't have access to education that's why you know mostly victims of this but then dario i mean to movement just open my eyes to the fact that even the most educated of us in the society also going through the same things so let's take a step back you're saying that social media opened up the voices of the people who are otherwise silenced marianna ways who is very popular now in the global scene she was arrested because of her campaign especially because of the so how bad is a problem hugh nigeria people are willing to go above and beyond to silence those who dare to you know rebel to change the norm so there's

a lot of danger i guess in doing that personal and otherwise apart from the online attacks who you know that are just never ending death threats. so yeah you know you could get arrested while the rapist my not you there are people there in a panic get raped rush rush into a police station and the kind of reception they get you know it's it's another form of trauma right i was in a police station with minors who were raped and the police said she was a suspect and they were dragging her telling her to take of her shoes and they were going to put her in solitary confinement if i get raped god forbid there's no way i'm going to go to the police tonight and i'd rather come on social media so obviously by no standards does it sound ok and i was reading that right here you know there were women who were collected taken to police station on suspicion of being prostitutes and some of them came out with stories of being raped and your police superintendent said well women are not supposed to be out in the streets

anyway how are women supposed to trust you when this sort of behavior has been perpetuated by police officers. yeah. we've had. several complaints right now we have agenda desk we have been going for special training how to receive such cases. in cities now let's go back to. even to social media won't help because. maybe 14 being raped by these 3 men who does she go to she does have a mood social media exists so she goes home tries to harm present. this. if you do that it's about you she just gets quite even if you talk to. any confirmations of people who've been arrested who've lost their jobs as a result of this movement the person that i outed as a rapist got you know sacked from his job as far as i'm concerned that is

a consequence that you cannot go anywhere that men are being forced to say oh my god i'm hanging out with this girl today i'm i going to. up to a hash tag i'm i going to be unable to show my face in the mosque and that is a consequence that has to start somewhere but obviously there are limitations to social media and i'd like to hear from a gentleman because i often hear men see that they're now scared what happens if a woman makes an allegation about him online and there's no evidence to support it i guess some people do feel that because of the lifestyles they lead and because of gray areas and constant and how we communicated sometimes they do feel that through it i suppose but speaking about the limitations of social media so that some people in society here believe that social media is not to be trusted the internet is genuinely a space to be treated with some level of course i want to come to the office of

because this challenge is directly affect your work you know when somebody comes and says this is the claim that i made how do you go about collecting evidence when the situation has started online that's why i wanted to mention to them. but i would advise they get a lawyer you mean to tell me that if i come to your police station and i tell you that my husband has beat me up you'll send me to find a lawyer yeah i would invite a husband is that it is it a one time affair why should that matter that's what we said back to cultural we like it or not when nigeria look at me straight i'm trying to raise a complaint from indices to mr hope that's one report right so we believe no we have to hear from him. and see if there are evidences on witnesses and everything we can work on that's why i want to understand the social media not everything brought out there is actually true so as a rule of thumb you do not believe the victim unless they're witnesses and often

gender based violence happens in isolation they usually no witnesses on any kind of crime the 1st one is the confessional the 1st one everyone at the end we have to go around and find out how and why when and we are ok i really want to talk about solutions what needs to be done even from 2 went down to an individual's level. so the conversation as shown as the limitations of social media which is that we can highlight a problem but you need systems to prosecute but when people know that when they commit a crime they can get away with it because prosecution rates are really low so you understand that this is a reflection of a broken system we have to be able to you know understand the gaps that exist in our society and beyond awareness and you know beyond the laws they need to be implemented for them to work thank you so much i have to admit that it has been

very tough very very tough the things that was said here were not expected but i'm glad that we're winding up to the sound of them a group in the background hopefully the prayers will cleanse over our societies so that we can speak of something much lighter and much better thank you for watching from a buddha. now that was a very engaging debate no one should go through any form of abuse in silence our situation is to take accusations of abuse more seriously instead of shots in a woman down let them speak up. now for a longer version of history debates who check out our you tube channel i look forward to reading all your comments and suggestions now let's dive into our next story about overcoming gender inequality this one has something to do with swimming hold on just stay with me or do they live on an island most girls in zanzibar can't

swim city haji decided she wanted to fix this problem before she could start teaching the girls she says how to convince the appearance to let go of age old customs and let your daughter just dive into the crystal clear waters of the indian ocean. zanzibar with its crystal clear water sandy beaches and the gentle ocean breeze draws many people to its shores for a swim. while many young men get to enjoy it in the water it is not the case for women in this conservative part of africa. when. when i was a young girl it was normal not to know how to swim when i grew up i felt ashamed to see men swim yet i could not. sit it pushed hard and was very persistent today she's

a swimming teacher basic lessons like how to properly use a life jacket start in the classroom. later on all girls put on a burqini and head to the ocean. when i began swimming the community thought i was wasting my time and viewed me as strange and. were not expected to swim. but her pupils like sabina nor the importance of being able to swim. the 1st day. i was very happy because i had never swim before my friends were also happy because they also didn't know how to swim. but he said. you know wants to swim and i said yes i want to learn that him in the house.

if our teachers had not x. people to train as it will be dangerous because not many people know how to swim. a terrible occasion made conservative parents change their minds nobody worried about sea accidents until tragedy struck in 2011 they overloaded m.v. spice island a ferry sunk killing about 200 people most of the victims were women and girls who did not know how to swim and that was when the government that's when a group of 9 young women and men here started their punches sue in project that included calles one of it's found this was. really one of the good son at the beginning it was really challenging to teach girls as one of the founders of the soaring initiative i had to set an example by beginning with my own daughter then another founding member also allowed his daughter to go for training. sabinus

father was also reluctant at 1st but now he is very proud of his little girl. in the ferry sank saw the need to not oppose my kids from learning to swim in the old days girls did not swim much. when this initiative was introduced i was excited and happy to enroll my children. forgive me. and other. 5000 girls had women so far and they hope they can train many. of those ladies i could do with some refresher courses. now let me take you away from the sandy beaches of zanzibar we bought commercial house on the opposite side of the continent the city of incoming. we meet another

powerful woman estelle it to me isn't one to shy away from her curves plus size model she's all about support and love and body positivity in this week's my city segment she takes us around her hometown to enjoy. the. hello my name and tell it to me. and. to them going to show you my cd welcome to the other. is the largest city you can come in and an economic hub there would be river separates the city from the industrial zone. sports is the largest in central africa and also surprise neighboring countries like china. was born here and while inspired by the city's entrepreneurial culture she started up her own business. as well thank you i know it's a very lively city a city that moves a lot of the young people here have

a strong interest in europe in fighting spirit you can see young people everywhere setting up businesses and shops dualla is coming. mainly foreigners come here to buy goods and sell them abroad it's a very fascinating. if you step out on to do our list. it's the city feels like one big market at every corner there are people selling includes shoes you name it. and i was one of africa's major football nations do i don't course has a market score not dedicated to come in runes national team. i don't. you must remember that people here in kuala i'm very passionate about sports especially football that's why these markets where we are right now mainly has football geniuses from the national team many of the national players also come

from douala many web on here they grew up here for example the food they talk a top goalscorer i don't i deal. in the evening still keeps busy with their own sales force. to wind down she heads to parker spitzer she comes here about 4 times a week to train and stay fit for her modeling career. i don't have but you know you don't believe that after a long day's work it's normal that you want to decompress i love coming to this park for that it's free and there are a lot of young people here who come here after work school so now you have seen a few images of i hope you liked them and we hope to see you here one day they'll be you haven't asked for a stay oh do i still for the rest of us maybe it's time to be in the city yes visiting. banks as they are for showing us around so how old were you when your

parents gave you the sex talk was a conversation comfortable for you or that it feels a bit awkward i was definitely your what but let's talk about that this one is for all the parents who may be watching sex and relationship experts cause is back to share her thoughts on the parenting. and sex education. hello there and welcome to the spread a safe space where we get to discuss everything sex and relationships if you would like your questions answered please be sure to send this an e-mail our question today comes from a new parent and it reads i guess thank you for creating spaces for us to open up my question for you is i'm raising a little boy who is currently only a few months old and i want to know when should i begin to think about having sex positive conversations with him i know it's really early right now but i can't help

but want to raise my child better than i was raised where there were no conversations about sex what do you suggest is the right time thank you so much for that question sex positive parenting is a conversation i'm always happy to have in fact i've had it separately on my podcast the spread let me start by saying congratulations on your little boy you are already doing a good job you're doing right by him and trying to provide a better life so let's get to the root of your question firstly there is no age too young to teach and learn from our children even young infants are able to give non-verbal cues on what they like and don't like and this is how we can tell if they're comfortable this is a good opportunity for you as a parent to learn about your child's boundaries as they grow and you can begin to have conversations about where they don't like being touched for example maybe they don't enjoy being told having their hair touched or being hugged we get so wrapped up in trying to make sure our little ones make a good impression on guests or off friends that we don't stop to think about

whether some of these actions are actually making our child uncomfortable sexuality is a spectrum and one of the most important lessons from the get go is consent unfortunately this often gets left out when we start to learn about sex and sexuality so this should be how you start to have your sex positive conversation allow your kids to set their own boundaries as your child. older make sure conversations about sex focus more on the importance of pleasure don't raise them to fear their sexuality or feel ashamed of it many of us have inherited our parents' feelings of fear and shame when it comes to sex and sadly some of us are now spending the better part of our lives and learning this of course it's important to have age appropriate conversations about sex with our children so you don't need to worry about explaining concepts like intercourse at such a young age we can start by allowing them to explore their own bodies and decide for themselves what feels good while also giving them the space to change their minds as they grow just as we have in our lifetimes and continue to do keep in mind

as you continue to learn you will grow and so will your kids be patient with them and also with yourself you are already a wonderful parent keep it up i hope you found this useful from me can get by. thanks as always for your very informative response guys it's not time to wrap up this show but thanks a lot for joining us and please connect with us well was glad to hear from you just write us 77 a d w dot com if you have feedback or even any story ideas and what better way to take you into the weekend with some hot afrobeat for my home country gotta you know how we do it yes kiddie i'm crazy out with bears banga catch you on our next episode of the 77 percent than. i am. to. to.

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. the. christmas time on double. was the speech of his life perhaps his best certainly his most difficult chancellor and would call it addresses the people of east germany shortly after the fall of the wall. the crowd clamors for the term unity journalist peter lim borg was at the scene. 30 years

later he looks back on the tightrope president. starts december 19th. w. . bank created today's world. 79 a historical turning point in politics business and religion. run up evil of the. making its initial flirtation. strength states of emergency things into chaos such the circumstances. of the people the freedoms to play the cards. play. that defines only managed. to be committed to. december 23rd. place.

the book player play. this is d w news live from berlin gridlock at the un climate conference with crucial terrorist agreement deadlines looming world leaders still cannot agree on funding or international rules climate activists are demanding concert and immediate action to protect the future. also coming up. another life taking the official death toll.