take. us with all the wonderful people and still make the game so special. for all true fans my. online. this week on 77 percent street. oh. yeah i've always been i mean we should know to a point and of course they were going to get their money and if they've contributed a 100 so then they can therefore it is not good they will complain for it they're going to be in the community to make sure that the money is finished something to contribute but i go there are really really angry white white house people your happiness. how much should one spend on

a wedding well here in tanzania the answer could be as much as it takes and the cost of that could be super high including costing people their marriages and their lives but why is it that in this particular country it seems that it is debt that is holding people together we're going to find out from my lovely panel here and we'll begin with doyle who actually you got married 2 months ago so how high is the cost of weddings in this country that have been a divorce i don't know because everybody maybe heavy so on by you but my own marriage was see almost see the 15000 dollars yes almost $15000.00 is ok i'm not married and i've never. been to my wedding but is this the average cost of weddings $15000.00. no no. it's not the average it's not the minimum is not the maximum because. the

rate of which marriages i mean the ceremony is right now it could go even twice or thrice even 4 times that for just to pay for what. just the venue ok so golden godfrey is actually an event organizer dealing a lot with wedding so these are hard figures that you can give us ok there's a lady who had lifted her hand at the back please come and speak to me ok good evening beatrice well i can be like a good example because from something i had my bro's wedding it coasted along like the 84000000 or so around the same price that we are on there it's going to be like $25.00 or $80.00 well the big issue in the big towns onions are different they're very hospitality and we got these sharing thing so when my bro came 1st with his wife the god they got certain background they come

from so they had to announce the farming and then we had the 2 a 5 snake me and my other big bro in the parlance we had to sit down and calculate like how much does the farm has to contribute then the the friends there at the end we have no to say to the poverty but moreover before the wedding there were the wife the bright she has also to be done said to know when he's like the kitchen parties the bride from home to hear well i'm from the chagga tribe i'm kumin jarrow so or we have a lot of tradition you have to go with a blanket you have to go because of beers you have to go with the but now knows we have bananas so the end of it you find a lot of pressure there getting in after the wedding for sure my sister in law got sick on honeymoon 2nd there were no honeymoon she got sick a lot of money goes to their friends to the venue's venue was a very costly. then we go maybe to the m c u 2 coast i go see there's an mc here he will be

a very good example ok so let me ask the mc because you've mentioned him by the way i must say he's a very very popular mc here in tanzania when he walked in everybody oh and he was. was he expensive yes i'm ok so he's good and he's expensive but it's all right if you can afford him you hire him but i wanted to find out from you have you seen the trends change over the years a weddings becoming bigger and bigger even and people are getting poorer and poorer . you are going to school to maim see. you not to get near enough and you know up. early how are you sitting in a fine port. you know what you're. going to. run when it's costing or going to the coast who want to get men who want to be. the

nominee what you get on which and here it's a give me peace. and human to save get a signal to go in the course of the. pond it was about we don't know when you're going up on a big. radio. and i was. using. horses was upon it you yes but even with the high costs people are still getting married seal. so how many weddings on average are you and seeing in a month just so that we get an idea of the turnover. maybe 8 yes one man 8 wow so alex and your soon to be wife you're in the process of trying to prepare for a wedding what are some of the difficulties that you're experiencing financially or what is shocking. but you know isn't it

a similar. when there is. a piano. in yuma there was a way to. me. as a savior when i. was about. one. no one. morning. ok i know i don't want to come to you on a study of because we're hearing from alex that this is not new weddings have always been expensive so what is the main difference between past generations and this one. should just say the previous generation didn't have

a lot. so they didn't know a lot of. happening in other places but this generation my friend with technology so people wants to copy yeah i saw they were doing of my friend with these maybe he had a wedding planner and i also want to have a wedding planner but we forget that we come from different backgrounds and we're in a country where this. should say yeah the people we're having and the people have. like we have over 26 percent of people living under the poverty line and so many people in the media and. when you say like someone gets sick for 2 days we were 4. people because they see a lot on instagram and facebook yes so so so you're saying that people are looking for a sort of lifestyle or a picture that you know for their weddings just go we're calling you the professional committee member attendee because part of these weddings are funded

from contributions from friends can you explain how this works. well i think high cost weddings are not a problem if you can afford them i mean you feel you have enough money you can't organize even a wedding that costs 100000000 but once you have to go out and ask for help from your colleagues from your family members then it becomes their biden because then everybody has to go out of the way to look for more money to but but why does everyone have to go out of their way why don't you just say to your friend i'm sorry i don't have money well there's this thing in africa especially in tanzania like i cannot say no to your face so even if i mean you know like deep down but i'll just have to like you know say yeah impress you but still at the end of the day some people would still like though contribute let's say $300.00 and end up contributing even less so then it becomes a struggle people have to see to correct their heads every now and then needs you

know take their budgets down just this and that it's a problem. so let me introduce another gentleman here kenneth because my question is why get married at all then why have a wedding why not just have a customary relationship as happens in most african countries i think it's kind of prestigious because they were doing this for a way was to marry until you die ok so it was a process by has grown so we need to get that prestigious without after turn. 20 years of. yeah when you try to flush yes but just of that moment yes we did our best this is there within we wanted so for you it actually forms a part of your legacy as a couple and you were telling me earlier that you were actually in an engagement but because of financial difficulties you want able to go through with the wedding

can you talk to me about that one which was before was not a problem because you know. it was. because you know back then it was just that. stage ok then after finishing the college you know they've been nose. job so and you do it with a friend you can fit my philosophy my life stated yes that's a. bit late to ok can somebody explain to me which one is more important is it the wedding or is it the marriage let me speak to sebastian by the way sebastian and anastasio are a couple and today is that the new best 3 yeah thank you. for choosing to spend it here debating so in your 9 years of marriage do you feel that 1st of all did you get pressure for the wedding is what we're hearing here reflective of what you experienced absolutely you know 1st of all waiting is

a product of the network you hope and the income of the cup. if you take it out of that it's a problem so if you don't have enough network don't expect probably a lot of support and if you're copying from someone else that you want to make a lifestyle or a marriage of a particular style then of course you have a trouble and this is what has happened many people across normal it's supposed to be by your own cost but if you are you cannot do that you go to the nearby network and you ask like give me support so if you go to a parent and say hey daddy and mommy i want to marry and i don't have enough money please prepare for me a wedding of course to call their friends and this friends of contribute they'll make 100000000 waiting and from there they will start asking you to contribute back to their family and this is the biggest problem that i call it a liability of the family because after your wedding you start receiving calls come to this committee come to this pay this whatever contribution because we did this

for you and some of this member you don't even know them but you cannot start doing contributions somebody that i've never seen before and they have so many kids come in come in come in by the time you start demanding the same is not your network it was what it is and i thought ok so so far we have established that weddings are important for legacy for cultural reasons and also this thing you think it's insurance so just you're paying insurance very well which means you expect people to pay full congratulations 1st of all on your pregnancy so when you have your baby those people whose committees you attended will they show up for you what do you expect that they will well 1st of all i don't even remember i like most of them now because you know sometimes just a friend calls in and say just because i can you be part of the committee because you're like charming and stuff so sometimes you don't even have a close relationship with the couple so i don't i don't expect them to even be part

of my daughter's weight being on my baby shower or anything. so right after my wedding i had received so many invite ition cards to attend to you know so many wedding committees and my mom would tell me this people supported us they were part of your wedding commuters and some of them i don't even know them so i just end up contributing just because they're way apart of my of my of my community so it's time consuming 1st of all because then you have so many people from different places inviting you every saturday for me to see that would take maybe 2 hours or 3 hours and i feel like it's it's a bad and it's about into everybody who is invited to contribute and i'd like to go back to noel because i want to ask you do you feel that you put your friends through a burden by asking them to contribute to your wedding. different to nor because you know according to our culture. we have 10 then so helping each as i want they

contributed to you also you have to pay back as $1.00 of my college to say maybe the body is coming to my side because the process of marriage needs in lots of money don't forget about to the door he went on a break i mean the price of we're going to pay back to the patents of the woman the money is very beginning dilute to give you to meet owns. things including a dollar or blankets of the parents the congo stands in the us needs money so we're not supposed to think about that but then the friends also you as i don't wish me to marry beer is a big but then you are left because of the culture and traditions we hear winton's on your ok so the wedding day is just the tip of the iceberg but before that these dollar we that needs to be paid there all these ceremonies that we talked about and it's just a let me come back to you the simple answer for me would be well don't show up for

your friends contributions or contribute what you can have smaller weddings or maybe don't have weddings a toll i guess i'm trying to figure out why have weddings a toll if you can't afford it and if it puts people in debt yeah it's indeed a challenge because if you one show up to someone's waiting people and show up when yours and if you want to invite people to contribute for you know their way to like blame you and if you just say to do a customary thing they will see you as someone who is. like yeah no socialist even lazy yeah but also maybe it would be so if like you and they think oh you're just leaving without getting married so that's a problem but again. it's also the issue that your parents all the relatives would want to show off to the france where they have been contributing to others into the end of the day even the contribution that comes you won't give any jews. that money you have because they get you they will come to eat their money and if they have contributed a $100.00 so then and they come therefore it is not good they will complain for it

what do you mean so they contribute and they expect the wedding to be at a certain level they contribute and they expect to eat to drink so if you want put be a way they contributed a vote like $100.00 my friend their complaint for ever saw everywhere you were going there would be showing off fingers that when you see ikea we didn't enjoy his or her wedding yes all you like have to really impress them to eat their own money that they've contributed so you are getting nothing out of that you money but at the end of the day you hire a lift with that you have because you have to borrow sometimes people borrow race i have i've seen so many people borrowing dresses in their wedding dress shops like this what you will have a very big bed in and sometimes you will fight in your yeah your marriage you have to fight yeah yeah so this is what it's. all right i'd like to bring the man of the cloth because i saw you in the background. being a person who deals with a lot of married couples of event coming back to you after the wedding to say i passed on this side. we need help or it's affecting their marriage

some more to go to honeymoon just go to friends in a village and we joke with my friends not they go to cry because they have spent a lot of money then they come back they say. you know now. i need to prepare. money for my. maybe my 1st. how. my life i would like to have a house so let me invites the people to just answer a question for me do you know of couples who have you lost friends because you did contributes a certain amount of money oh ah ok talk to me about. i think about wedding care in africa mostly his idea is that people are afraid to lose the cycle that they have like if you don't contribute for me that i won't contribute i mean if

you're going to be for me that means i will never contribute for you this is how it works so as i say i've lost too many friends more than one and one and i still have debts and have to pay the wedding ceremonies you know on reading. them. i have like 3 friends who are going to be getting married one from november 1 december and i know the from i mean in february but how i can see i have an employment i mean to bring yet but i don't and a lot that i can contribute but also i need my friends to support me as a premier so the problem is people are afraid to lose the sake of that they have they think that if i want to contribute then i lose them so it's very much a quid pro quo is a similar to your experience you said you lost friends too yeah it is yeah you know like you think there's any are waking up right now they do not want to have weddings that they cannot afford but we have our parents there will tell you that

you must have this wedding because i contributed to 50 weddings and yeah you don't have to contribute to your wedding as well but in the end of the day what we don't realise is we have people attending our wedding with our folded heart that i'm coming i contributed i didn't want to do that sometimes i can't tippett but i go there really really angry and why do i have to pay for your happiness and sort things of the same sort. like that question alex let me come back to you because you're the one who's currently planning your wedding good luck by the way based on what everyone is saying are you feeling pressure from your parents to hold as a specific kind of wedding yeah iniquity. new in a place. in a tad you. know special. ones and when you get. out of us in a. country seclusion of wind and even if you've never ended up when you. take

anyone here who experience pressure from their parents in terms of ok i experience a challenge just morning before leaving for work i got a phone call and setting goals calling me and they say a bear listen. we need something like 5050 dollars and some like 120000 pounds in a shillings but i said who are you you say i'm he does friend i came through reading you see that challenge the person of the putting on you they contributed to your wedding so you need to to do something about it so these challenges are there yes i think thank you we've articulated the problems very well i just want to find out how do people end up paying for these debts golden. yes. the debts are endless the debts unless they're always endless and. payment could be others i give explained that if you pay i mean if you contribute to someone's wedding you're committing them to contribute to us so from my perspective

a client might come and if she comes or he comes with family friends or. uncles and aunties and they contribute personally their you should know that you should expect that they're putting an expectation to them and they show that i am committing to this so that it gets done so that when my child or i get wed you're supposed to commit the same in the expects that do we contribute as much to education health care or is it just exclusive. this is very interesting topic because the same people that they would they're putting pressure to the wedding 1st of all they want to specifically wedding they're not really to hear from you or from in about us anything that does not relate to the celebration there weren't going to be the only things that they are sure they're going to eat they're going to spend the money they're going to be into the community to make

sure that the money is finished people are not being a you agreeing ok so when it comes to the important issue like a school fees somebody who's sick nobody is actually putting pain to that ok so please let me come to you. ok. we have to know that we all are even in the community that to save something from us when it comes to marriage is a set abrasion so you should know what a void it's in a more. fully tease list how how much you have. waiting. for it but also something we got less of what they put you in debt you say . i mean we should note avoid any cost. yes please. and talking about the quality you can avoid because it's not sort of the people making the marriage even the people that make the marriage so that's how we perceive on how you minute debate oh you're waiting so much to be it depends on.

it's a question for example taking the number of the village people although they make the marriage and they say it and they have the wedding ceremony let's not say the they didn't say that money is high cost you know the prepaid budget is simple budget in that they don't say business hotness you think people who are getting into debt are just being unreasonable yeah. ok you know i want to find out how we stop this cycle i mean for somebody the gentleman at the back the old you have an answer already let's come to you. all right now speaking about marriage and where he is. how people contribute if you want people to contribute to higher if you missed that you give somebody a future so if you want to treat your races maybe it's simple you can you can actually do it for this mess if i'm going to have it i'm going to have a wedding so i'm trying to make it to simple so as i don't want people to

contribute so as i can control myself and then. people really don't worry it and then after that they won't ask me for contributions ok so there is a hack i don't know if you heard it from the back you saying he's going to have a small wedding that way people will contribute less and he will be asked for less in the future. yes what i think what we suggest to clients because it is our culture weddings are important debts is no one's culture though yes that's why we act wisely that we form our clients to choose wisely to pick what they need and to sort and to compromise on the things that i necessary ok. so what is best to go is no income how much you have prepare a simple wedding with your closest friend and the. close relatives and you can do as affordable as you want income so the problem is that someone has to start contributing to somebody because expecting people to contribute and it will keep waiting because he doesn't know if it's enough for him if he knows the waiting can

i have 2 more pieces because we have to who yes. ok i saw my name is alan rahim so i believe a simple solution is not to give in to peer pressure because basically in our culture this type of wedding say that christianity readings or muslim weddings which most of the time one course more than $250.00 but if you decide to do things like involve the venue's and not expensive clothes that's just you falling into peer pressure but then people like my saying here might not have a job if everybody decides to do that raise the balance no i want i'm saying is if you can afford to do it then that's ok but if you can afford to you don't have to fall into the oppression because what you see everybody is doing is they're trying to compete i want to have a better waiting than the last person they can see this couple have lasted for 9 years but the wedding was very simple so you don't have to give in to peer pressure getting too expensive debts just because you could have a wedding that doesn't even give them the best experience you can have ok and the final question is going to go to the man who said when things are on hold at the

moment after listening to this conversation do you think you will have a wedding in the future. not in the near future but in the future. ok and that's how we wrap up this debate i think we can all agree that we've learnt a lot this is quite a bit of fun thank you so much for watching. it

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