don't let those. lifestyle your. extremist. take it personally you went with a little gender feat to. make the game so special. for all true fans. more than football online. neighbors 15 when he told his parents fast oh he was born to go he felt like a boy. for the interior family it marked the start of a long journey into the unknown. i always

knew that i was different in some way but what exactly that was i could never tell . initially bowled me over at 1st you just think ok so what does this mean exactly what are the ramifications for you know what does it mean for our lives going forward to the students of whose lives are living. as a by me as a service is for me it's like i'm forced to say goodbye. i have to let my little girl go. and i find that it's very hard. there are many the moment you realize it is pretty awful because you know that you have a long road ahead of you and will have to go through a lot. it's not over just because you've realized who you really are.

where we 1st met rene and his parents in early 2017 the start of a 2 year journey they invited us to accompany. when at the age of 15 when they decided to come out his chance to end he could hardly find the words to tell his parents. we thought rene wanted to tell us that she was lesbian so that's the 1st thing i asked and then i asked her if she felt like she was in the wrong body. and then you were relieved want you to burst into tears. after coming out it was clear renee wanted to live life as a boy. and off is a small community an hour's drive from berlin the family moved here 6 years ago from the german capital. is a japanese family photos of his childhood renee feels no connection to his past.

when i think back to my life as a girl it's like i was living a totally different life that's what it feels like i dressed in pink and all i didn't get much more girl even that. she or or he had a big box full of all kinds of princess dress up costing lives including little slippers with heels and. they did and michelle like to think back of those carefree times when rene was still their little girl. as it were in a cuddling with me it feels like yesterday it's so cute look how cheerful. for the parents the 1st step is saying goodbye to their daughter the fact that i now have a son instead hasn't yet sunk in. to see if this does not know for me it's like a different phase back starting but that doesn't have

a lot to do with what came before it's very strange like a cut that happens and i don't know when but that has created 2 lives maybe that's an exaggeration but it certainly feels like 2 separate harps and the other half is beginning now. thing. after coming out rene was eager to start hormone therapy to give his body more masculine attributes but he had to undergo a year of psychotherapy and way to turn 16 before doctors would prescribe hormones . he's now been taking testosterone for 2 months. every day he applies a gel onto his skin to turn his body into a man's. so that it stays that way he'll have to continue the treatment for the rest of his life. my voice has

changed has shifted i've got more muscle facial hair i've got more and denser body hair. i'd like my voice to deepen a bit more and not much deeper i don't expect that. all that's needed to officially turn renee from a go into a boy is the removal of an easy from the end of his name in his passport. today family and friends have come for visits it's bigots birthday. at home among familiar faces when a appears increasingly at ease. with. his own 13 a has also noticed a change since her niece became her nephew. so. there is a difference now she used to be withdrawn we were a little worried about her sitting alone in her room at her computer i sensed

something was up or not a try so now after saying i know i'm transgender it's like a switch has been flicked. now he comes out of his room and plays with the dog a lot you can just tell he feels better. renee didn't find new friends after his family moved here 6 years ago but he stayed close to his cousin. shortly before the news coming out. that strengthen their bond. he came out before me he was sitting on the bed. he was sitting on the bed i was looking exactly and you go i don't know how to tell you this and i'm like what's wrong and he goes i'm gay and i'm like is that all i knew that already. the hard thing about coming out is the pressure you put on yourself we actually knew our parents would accept the hard part is that you

have to accept that it's ok to not be normal that's the hardest part because you're always trying to understand why you're not like everyone else normal but then you realize no one here is normal. transgender is a number that describes people whose gender identity doesn't match the sex they were assigned at birth. germany has seen a more than 3 fold increase in gender confirmation surgeries since 2007. but not all people who identify as transgender undergo operation. rene has started working out every day to get into. i usually feel pretty small and really want to be bigger muscles aren't just for looks they have a function feeling stronger would boost my self-confidence. it

helps a lot to look more masculine because then people perceive you differently and it's important to me to not be mistaken for a girl who. makes me feel like i'm on the right path i've been on top. thrown for a year and they say you only see most of the changes when you've been taking it for 2 years. being transsexual and old it is no longer officially classified as a psychological disorder. but psychotherapy can be helpful for clinical making a transition. when you're for us. i'm very glad that we found such a good therapist. i feel renee is that good hands and i find the things they discuss very interesting. things that would never occur to me to bring up. the war. over.

my mom asked me to give you these it's time for international women's day it's not yes it's international women's day thank you. yes let's get started on the can tell are you good no complaints. because the training going good it's good it's going really well and i'm still having trouble working out my abs though i haven't spoke was going on which comes i was going through in a has been seeing therapists here the good sense is coming out of the sessions were a condition of his medical transition as was living in his new identity for 12 months only up to passing the so-called daily life test because the therapist provide a medical recommendation for his home and therapy air attacks this is. the daily life test is important to allow people time to grow into their new gender identity . in the same way they need to grow into their new name you

live a different life as a man or a woman. and it takes a lot of motivation and inner drive to proceed down this demanding path. of finding something in. for now renee isn't considering gender confirmation surgery. as i rush on gender confirmation surgery is a major procedure no nerves get it up in the wrong place and then there's no going back. and it's not like you're just going on an attachment. i think it takes 3 operations each lasting 11 hours you know which is only. when your sexuality awakens you may find a way and maybe then it won't even be necessary to undergo surgery to mine.

after all that renee's been through already the phase of finding his way has only just begun. one year into his son's transition bigot is still finding it hard to come to terms with the situation. at 1st i thought it would pass. now i don't think the feeling will ever go away i think it will stay. naturally i'm happy that rene feels good. and i also have no problem with the fact that rene is now a boy. but that close bond we had in his childhood when he was a girl. and now that girl is gone. it still makes me sad. before

coming out rene became increasingly withdrawn. plagued by in a conflict he refused to go to school for almost 3 years. and 23 seen the family moved to the countryside motivated above all by rene's wish for a more quiet life but now he enjoys venturing into the big city. and what do you think. colorful true. today is going to an open house or a private school for adults he wants to get a certificate of intermediary education but after years of refusing to go to school this appointment isn't easy for him. i feel stressed right now as much why what could happen and make nothing. it's just

a situation that stressful this feeling but now i'm taking the step. it's consoles i don't know. his old fears resurface it's i'm nervous now i wasn't before. but come on i'll bring you to the door ok we answer now to film inside. good luck and text me if there's a problem and. i remember from his early years at school how there was always this tension at home will he make it to school today or not. and so the day began with everyone on edge and that feeling came up again just now so. renee's refusal to go to school weighed heavily on the whole family. his parents tried everything to help alleviate his school anxiety including at

missing him to a psychiatric clinic. af. to renee declared that he was transgender there was at last an explanation for his problems so he just texted. as he rode square on a break and i probably won't find out before summer vacation whether i'll get a place or not if i like it better. so that sounds pretty positive let's see what he says what's on the his office. when you go so your mind i'm the type of person who likes to sweep things under the carpet i just assume everything will turn out well wait and see but in hindsight you realize you were pretty stressed out. how to go. good care. what was good. not the whole set up was good but it all went by pretty fast i guess because no one had any questions or. the adult education center only has

a few places for under age students like renee. he won't know for several weeks whether he can restart his schooling here. his family has also undergone a change 4 years joint outing simply when possible. because i'll get in the back. entrance and about. 18 months after starting home and therapy renee has gained self-confidence and feels more comfortable in this body. we have less of just a target for me to huge relief to see remade swimming like a fish in the water and musing about swimming trunks fashions and the like. it's

a totally different conversation to the types we were having one of 12 years ago i think it's great. he no longer has to hide and shows his new body in public. no i don't you die i didn't swim for 3 years because i felt so uncomfortable so it's really nice going swimming with my family again but. on another round. it's really amazing to see the change and i think it's why i'm venturing out more because i feel like i've arrived at my goal and i'm no longer a stranger to myself so for them to. make this happen it's relatively seldom now that i find myself mourning the loss of my girl it's changed because i now see that he's finding his way. and we can. lend beckons renee's been accepted at the school and

a few months before his 18th birthday is moving into his 1st apartment this ok. that's true. it feels good to be starting over i think i need a change of routine you know. it will be easier to master everything here in the city than in the countryside. i think we've made the right decision for me besides i wouldn't found a school like this where i live the dream is. a wish for the. biggest and missing service manager is relieved that her son has concrete goals again. i'm hopeful especially because this school will give rene the time that he needs to complete his diploma. if you take the year then it'll take a year it takes 2 years and it'll take 2 years or whatever. as if you don't know. how. different they adepts well to his new life he'll become less

dependent on his mother's support. now. this morning it really kind of hit me and it made me a bit sad to realise that from now on he'll only be home on the weekends in the course of time with less frequency which is totally normal it just hadn't really dawned on me yet. yes. good night i'm going to have a little rest. ritual i want your shoes on. so sweetheart sleep well. we'll see and remember your dreams they say whatever you dream on your 1st night in your new place will come true for this i hope it's no nightmare. and call me if something's up ok

you know i will. increasingly people who identify as transgender are not afraid to hide it renee has benefited from a new sense of social inclusion. he also feels less pressure in his new environment there are few students at this bill in school who haven't experienced personally. scroll down from i knew from the start i'd be meeting people here who have struggled with similar problems is a doddle some cordoned off as we're all here for a reason so it wasn't hard for me to come into

a class without knowing anything about who my classmates would be among for a while because we all share the experience that we didn't manage in the normal school system so we have something in common. commands on the disk you know so that's why it's easier to integrate here it's not so unfamiliar. i'm does. most of his classmates now know that her name is transgender. but often he faces insensitive reactions. on the street when i get asked stupid questions you can tell people just aren't thinking about what they're saying they just open their mouth and ask if it's back in make me feel like some kind of walking with a pedia entry and i find that quite unpleasant heard of muslims among. whom it's a comfort to know his cousin lives nearby. in his company he doesn't have to do any

explaining. of a scope i think of stop looking for white ones but it could look cool for me for you or for me not for me. at ease in his new body buying new clothes it's no fun past time. the 18 year old can try on anything that strikes his fancy in the men's department. before everything was much too big but now i fit into stuff that makes things a lot easier now my shoulders are actually too wide for many things but that's a nice problem to have. been has closely followed his cousin's development. is much more self-confident that's very obvious. and as a result everything's gotten a bit easier. for years when i was afraid of being taken for a girl in public and of inquiring glances questioning his gender identity.

it was in this restaurant that when they went to the men's room for the 1st time back then it was a huge step today it's the new normal. this all of the above them. we were here having a meal and you were like i need to go to the bathroom and at 1st you didn't want to go vote so yes so i had to the back of the horse life. but that's because i wasn't on testosterone yet. still although some think it's no big deal. super easy. they're easy peasy renee's life is still a far cry from easy but after almost 2 years he's much more at peace with himself than he was when we started filming. the specs is it's a risk and stanford is my sponsor i know what i want if i know who i am and where

i'm at i've come a long way toward approaching my final destination just. as it was or at least a good main station. to look into hoped i just. his experience of daily life as a constant emergency has given way to a feeling of normalcy though he will have to take home and his entire life and undergo regular medical checkups. renee now only gets out of bilin on the weekends when he visits his parents. up until my child was 14 i had a daughter and then i had a son it's not the case that the son erases the memory of the daughter in the past he was my daughter there's no denying it he was such a girlie. he and i belong to a rare breed of mothers who although they just had one child have a daughter and a son.

a my sweetheart. you're what you're all good. friends. when the going was tough the family pets were a comfort to rene. this was the support of his parents who were always there for him. the topic of school is no longer to do at home. promises or you know when your exams are have exactly the map is some time in mid may. not 6 months have passed since when they moved to berlin he now has a completely different take on the face before his me. try they are. i was pretty isolated here but it was important for me to be able to go out in public without having people stare at me with this kind of look like kind of what are you

now exactly resolving that was i think the most important thing for me that's for mr 50 is that. it's not just to name a who's starting a new life they get admission feel it better than has been left it. is the status of the stress level has dropped quite a bit and that's a relief of course the last few weeks and months were stressful in their own way what with the apartment and school but i must say i feel a little proud of the way we managed you're above all we've grown closer and closer there's more of a father son dynamic than anything that we had before or yes i noticed that too that you sometimes watch the way i do things or there's a new quality to our relationship it's true. between the 2 of us nothing has changed at all we were super close before and still are. thank god nothing has changed not. that we don't stress that often enough that we can be

proud of ourselves and we should say that out loud more often. because it was quite a ride mr and this fire at. least certainly don't do that often enough.

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simple online on your mobile and free shops d w z learning course you can stream german made to see. how if you don't know. where i come from but oh that's good to cisco it's just like this chinese food doesn't matter where i am was reminds me of home after decades of living in germany chinese food is one of the things i missed the most that by taking a step back i sees things i did to the difference between now and. then of for it's a process of negotiations that exist the other part of the wall haven't been implemented in china that's new not to china's people wondering if they're going to say it but if people have the right to learn the focus of that is this is their job a job that of them how i see it and understand why i love my job because i tried to

do it except it is an hour a day by name of the uninsured and i work at it up you. this is deja vu news live from the land bernie sanders calls a major victory in the nevada presidential caucuses the way to give sanders a considerable lead in the running for the democratic party's nomination he now appears to have left his nearest rivals including former vice president joe biden behind him also coming up. here's a mounting as new coronavirus cain says a merger around the world basically is reporting its 1st 2 deaths following

a spike in infections there the government has decided to isolate towns at the epicenter of the act outbreak.