if you happen to be part of a news story you can also use the g w out to send us photos and videos of what's happening. you're watching the news from berlin up next it's a documentary about women who make a conscious decision not to have children i website is also up to date d w dot com i'm told me on a lot of banks which are just. staying informed. and. language courses. video. any time any. w. .

i don't want to go i don't care folks this is my show i know one thing children maybe it's not that i. always known i didn't want to have children it's just that i've never known that i wanted to have children if that makes sense but i feel really lucky to have been gone now instead of a 100 years ago the finest people on

a 100 years ago not wanting children pretty much my only options would have begun to become a a lonely old woman living in a ginger bread how steep in the far east. all be unknown and i would have made a terrible known as i really got i am alive and i think maybe for quite a long time i wasn't a 100 reach to god grounded place within myself it took a long time to feel ok in being in the world it's ok that i'm here it's all ok that exists. there is so much pressure on women to be a certain thing and one of those very positive roles is to be a mother and

a mother with very caring and nurturing and happy i was told i was to have a child that does a massive pressure for most of us and it turns out it's also a pressure for women who don't want to being with us because if you don't want to be a mother i suppose then you are seen as less of less of a woman less natural less erring less nice less of a good person country fair. and general a cost of living is a waste of space in the world the way. i read today from the sixty's and they asked people for 3 words to describe women who don't want to have children or women children and the 3 words they came up with were. nancy and. i . at one does they know many of you here agree with this concept of non motherhood

being selfish raise your hands don't be scared and that i might ask him you know. why ok it imagine if you got love being a mother means losing my identity when i'm a mother i stop being mad enough and i become the mother of the masta. there you have this is one of the little humans exist to be born grow reproduce and die we want to perpetuate our species or at least perpetuate our genes even when you because when we all die all that we behind our children and the genes we passed on was the game creators can not say there are women who do not have that biological clock i don't want to have a child because i have doubts i don't feel physiologically that i need to have a child and you seem as if women don't feel it could it be that it doesn't exist that. you know i'm not going to pull out and there's no such thing as a natural word we create meanings through conventions and codes we've established

as individuals who share a culture a society. that we have decided that the word woman means mother and a woman who does not wish to be a mother has to explain herself a lot. she's made to feel sooner or later that she's not accepted by the norm or has no place in society i don't want. i think the overvaluing of motherhood as an institution not of individual mothers because i'm not anti mothers i think it is so high at the moment to almost counteract the fear around what happens if you move women should have children. so it's back to the shaming it's very. emotionally unstable teachers with little or no understanding of child psychology may have a permanently damage effect upon the growing personalities of the young childless

women do not exist in novels and films as themselves as women they represent something they nearly always represent women well. if you look at fairytales look at snow white arkansas you look. if you look at cruella deville there's no i don't want to tell nation to bad women evil record non-psychotic in the movies and instant she so we have them opposite of deviant women i'll show you who's teaching this class so i think childless women are now hardly that mothers of fat as stereotypes i think really what we need today is we need to bring them to the middle. we are being told that they will certainly go. on with their

calves feeding cats to be out me sitting at night at dark and were born really rule means were born that i was and i should say it might happen i don't want to deny it but if it will not happen for all the women who don't want to be mothers and it creates a lot of fear within young women because if this is the only image do you have in mind. kid in the episode why would i have to be an olympic champion if i didn't want to be the way you think i might have the ability the talent and if i train enough from an early age i might become a marathon runner or an olympic champion gymnast necessarily but maybe i don't want that doesn't mean the same applies to motherhood i might have the biological capacity to give birth to rear children by the door but i might even make

a great mother but if i don't want to do that in my life why should i have to consider. if you do not want a child there are certain things that you will have to get used to people saying to you their men were born eighty's of sharon she a mind yeah so i think it's very tough to say about a small issue you'll change your mind like if we were having a meal together and at the start of stage i said george will think of a fun see a put in it will be all care for someone to say oh you'll change your mind well over a big thing like having children you know how do they in your mind better than you so i'm one of the 50 percent of women who don't want children who have always known

that as a no not since growing up sort of thing and it was just something that i always knew. in my early thirty's i began to question and i began to think hang on is it that i'm just missing something and i mean lacking and should i develop this part of me. and i realize now that with all the pressure coming in the on questions pressure that the thief the nom that's what i should be i should be and more that. we need to hear more people being only apologetic about it and not and saying not me not lacking anything i.e. . i'm might be different to some people but law says that if i'm in so many different ways that's ok.

all on. and basically i suppose it's something i've always felt i just didn't think that i'd ever had a biological clock or if i did maybe mine was digital or had a dodgy ceiling response and. i. lived in a midwife since 1985 are considering that that's over 30 years my mother got pregnant when she was 40 i was about 15 at the time and i said to her you know when you give birth i want to be there. when the day arrived the day my brother was born

the midwife instructed me how to take care of him look at them to give him oxygen and place him under the heating lambert it was such an experience to not just look around but also be a part of what was happening and that's when i decided i definitely had to become a midwife. was a wall is a i feel very fulfilled in my profession it continues to move me i still get nervous in certain situations by then being with someone in such a crucial process is reason enough. to feel satisfied and happy when there is such a nice. to be a warrior fish if they take their sudesh babydaddy don't they if the question is why does a woman or a couple want to have a child i'd like to know the answer but let's perience tells me that it's often to keep the bloodline alive or to keep the surname alive. it.

says but it's all good our parents are aware of what our weight slim the cook i don't think so i don't think they know good. place there is a lot of couples have expectations and when you have expectations based on a fantasy you feel frustrated later mr sears was around. town that. was. the yeah. i've been there i knew we did at around 20 i'd say a 25 today the question is not so much if you're going to have kids but when yapping that implies you made that decision because it's your duty. it's. the pressure that society puts on you is what we women internalize them and

experience says maternal instinct. to the mother mother i don't think that maternal instinct exists as a biological fact there are women who simply don't have it as that argument alone should be enough to discredit the whole ideology of a maternal instinct the mother. what we're doing at last there really was a. yeah took that and if it electronically where. i can only that long. or would the 5th but again i didn't want children because in this world everyone is different but not everybody is born to carry out the same role. someone had to be a mother others a head to research and discover a cure for cancer guidance there that is when i was a teenager i knew deep down that i wasn't going to have kids yes that wasn't my role and i can therefore.

begin again if you'd actually not having children has been a handicap here's why the mothers of pregnant women for example sometimes say to me of course you don't have kids you don't know what my daughter is going through it doesn't own colleges have to have cancer to be a good oncologist now they don't. wait a minute i haven't experienced what it's like to give birth myself but i have other resources and skills that make me competent to help others deliver and to be an excellent professional. for the board well you are. wave your arms. all of you are all aware. that they. do hold out of the well that you only have to look at the history of women to see to what extent we're

conditioned by a society by culture by our environment. in 18th century france mothers were advised not to have their babies close by the baby cry that eva began to send them to the wet nurse 24 or 48 hours after giving birth . the firm did you hear women who were part of the bourgeoisie or the upper aristocracy found the thought of breastfeeding their babies disgusting. their reasoning was i am not a cow has. i. don't even think your. idea that babies were torn away from their mothers is totally false only that. they were not torn away women were in fact conditioned by this general discourse of society so that was when i realized that if this instinct did exist in humanity it wasn't a very powerful one less that was it.

i don't think maternal instincts exist i think it's all a question of culture a little voice doesn't suddenly wake you up one day and saying you have to be a mother. that sure a mother has the instinct to protect and care for her baby but it's a survival instinct that all mammals have to go. there is a learning curve is that otherwise the whole women with breast feed them wouldn't have to organize campaigns all courses to teach breastfeeding and yes it would just be instinctive allow them and humans are the only mammals i know that need to be taught how to suckle. until the young and that.

will happiness there and found that parents happiness. only hit as soon as they have children and and then increased again dramatically once the children had left home. perhaps some still see coincidentally there. society expects it to be automatically happy as a mother and nothing else counts but of course that's not true or they have to be grateful and same for you shouldn't complain about the negative sides talking about the negative sides of motherhood does not desire to judge you as mentally being mentally sick the meat of. the group of the teeth in

good food fish to the birth of a move. out. of office so. when my book regretting motherhood was released i was really surprised to meet people who were threatening me like if i ever see you on the street i'm going to kill you i'm gonna beat you up you don't deserve your child went as far you in the 1st year after i had released my book that i thought about moving to another country. people automatically turn it into if you will regret motherhood you hate your child but it's not true all the time i knew i loved my child and i don't know why i always had to emphasize that i regret the absurd comes stances of being a mother that pre-conditions it's actually not so difficult to understand.

before i gave birth to my daughter i used to be a photographer i'm still a photographer took photos in different countries and with these photos i would program in life and this man having to travel for more than 6 months. in the 1st 2 years after my daughter was born i continued with my work my daughter was a child that wasn't very complicated but still having a child with you is. very stressful situation so i stopped doing these shores because of my daughter i had to change my profession for the. question whether the issue of motherhood has progressed in some way yes but there have been setbacks to this.

basically been with it another case of history's pendulum view moment death and moments when women have had greater freedom usually when they're needed in the public realm in times of war and into revolution economic crisis ecclesia however when these crucial moments disappear from the public eye like women are always relegated to the home again and i was there. and this callback always involves a child being the only home. when my husband was away for work and i took care of my daughter nobody want to ask how do you deal without your husband a look after your child is it ok for you it's like normal for the people you were looking after the child. when i was away for work and

my husband would take care of my daughter he was very often being asked so how does this work your wife is away is it ok for you can actually look after your daughter properly don't just. give it up she. doesn't matter what you are doing as a mother it's never right. to lick the right wing catholic offensive of the league is this is so cieszyn that developed the idea that women who didn't want to breast feed were monsters. they're the most. efficient in this discourse perpetuated by a tiny group of women we know has gradually reached an enormous audience. this ecological mothering movement harking back to eternal wisdom has extremely

rough consequences for young mothers who want to do everything right and family yeah they can see it going seems a very devious way of sending a woman back to the home it infests on the to do home with a family and is. under the guise of modernity it sends us back to the middle ages and that is intolerable sick and shibata. the expectations are always on the mother's side i was expected to take proper care of my child i was expected to impress upon the proper way so it's not cold i'm the one who have to take my daughter to the doctor i'm the one who was in charge of picking her up from can never taking her to kindergarten always at some other and nobody expected my husband to do everything and mother is always there like 7 days a week for 24 hours every day and instead of thanking the mother and seeing

what she does people are still complaining what's lacking. in my opinion it's easier to be a father. and i'll feel quite lucky we didn't have any family pressure and i think the fact that as writers we both make a living as writers men affably appear sickly just happy that we're not shooting up heroin in graveyards anything beyond what i thought of the poorness so. but of course east that source will pressure. people. in particular the way.

they were allowed to work i have a daughter i had her when i was 19 i got pregnant at 18 i didn't want to have her i didn't plan to get pregnant or become a mother but i was pressured into having her by my partner at the time and my mother and therefore i put their wishes for for mine. well i don't call my mother said if you've had your fun right now face the consequences will follow it was sort of a way of paying for having had sex. something like that was. 'd 'd going on they were going no i threw myself into the role at 1st yes i wanted to be a good mother i thought i was obsessed because i wanted to make up for having been

reckless. i began dressing like an older woman 'd and i stopped going out i quit doing all the things i liked i stopped gaming and i tried to disguise myself as an adult woman so i'd be respected 'd. i'd like to have changed things i'd like not to have become a mother. 'd her job and it's hard to understand how you can regret something that you had no say in. your dog all. in all nor were you have a partner he doesn't treat you right or you're unhappy so you leave him you have a career that you don't like see just quit it but when you're a mother there's no turning back it's like a scar it's there with you for life. don't fare so i've suffered from a lot of pressure and anxiety that there's nothing i can do. there's always

a catch there's never a situation that makes everyone happy and. looking at a home for the 1st few years i was absolutely a mother but my studies were the only thing that could save me as they started to take up more of my time my role as a mother dwindled out of necessity. it was impossible to do both things in but i started getting back my identity and i started talking about things on line expressing the way i felt rushed in fear. and fear but as a result it incited a visceral gut reaction and some people they were rude they judged me there are no safe spaces to question motherhood without people lynching you i mean child of a young person on me and they assumed it meant i didn't love my daughter or that i was going to do her harm and you. know going to be no longer so i don't think that

they understand that because they're not you they haven't experienced it long area . they don't know what it means. to love a person but not the circumstances that bind you together and. i want to know. we've made motherhood seem like this incredibly romantic perfect experience that gives us constant happiness and satisfaction but reality is not like that sometimes women want to throw everything overboard. some even question if it was the right decision i'm not i think we're not told about that either as most of us it's taboo it's a battle. that i would like us to stop deifying the mother the good mother the sacred

mother the holy mother mary it's more complicated than all that and few of us can say that we've succeeded of there was a ball in. their home and then for example you can just refuse to pay child support or hire for an hour they can work abroad travel not accept paternity and it's absolutely all right but if you're a mother because they crucify you and burn you alive like a witch or. a seal was something unnatural or embassy or if for example i put my career before being a mother i'm judged. were not treated equally in fact men put their career 1st. to label mother really annoys me it grates on my nerves and it sort of doesn't fit

with who i am inside to be a mother. i tell you i love my daughter so it's really complicated because i'd like to have a different font all to me. but i got one i thought at the end there are people who are concerned about the environment they say they recycle and all that but they don't know what else to do last week with math when i see they have kids i want to tell them the 1st thing is not to have kids that are not in any horse is the most talented person catholic

current situation is totally unsustainable but we're constantly being told that in order to keep consuming this way we'll need 3 more planet earth. no there was a way i don't think it's selfish to decide to devote your time to yourself your passion your job or to not want kids all of that is respectable i respect people who have kids but it's selfish to decide to have kids as this if they don't see themselves that way they say it's the ultimate act of love the most important thing in my life they say i say you just said it was the most important thing in your life that's selfishness and that's fine but we need to acknowledge that fact. if you have the feeling that the country seems to be getting a little traction you have like education of the united states is reaching a new hash a new citizen sex. is almost your considered selfish if you

don't want to procreate even though the planet is overpopulated often when we are not since then there's been a real exchange to fulfill some of those one and when you think down nobody needs more children we're heading for a world population of 10000000000. male men at the same time it's amusing to say that i'm selfish as well because i have 2 kids i'm totally selfish sure only for the family release method.

one of our look at the woman who chooses not to have children is not only not selfish on the contrary she's being exceedingly was sponsible and. i don't see at all that having more children is in any way a position though to a good community based on something that. i feel i can assert ok i can give my solidarity to other people actually even better if i don't have a leg and all of a child at home to take care of you know that's a selfish attitude would actually be to become a biological mother come to that the generous thing to do would be to adopt. other people. look at it if they have a that i think that's adopting a little boy or a little girl is the ultimate act of altruism we can consider in relation to motherhood. that.

i want to ask that i thought i'm now in charge of communication for the cunto orbán organization i love my job because i come from the world of art and there's also a social aspect to my work the women we design large murals and organizer of an art festivals a large part of our work however is with our education team setting up workshops with people at risk from social exclusion with primary and secondary schools. to talk to us. and i think anything they think i had myself sterilized when i was 35 just over 4 years ago i relied on free state health care and a method called ensure it creates a natural barrier in the fallopian tubes. and i was very nervous when i went. for the 1st appointment i knew there were doctors who sometimes turned down

a woman's request for this procedure so i was afraid they would refuse me but they said that as more and there was no biological reason for it i didn't have children . or not in a horse. the last i thought of the boy and women are treated like minors on all levels of society we are extremely vulnerable in this case because there is no established norm. we are entirely at the mercy of the cultural religious and personal opinion of this doctor there should be a protocol in place that they stay may they call their kids to school men are treated very differently i don't know any men who have been humiliated or degraded or spoken to in a paternity listed arrogant way when they requested vasectomy not a single one of us think till now. and when. i.

thank the someone for temple the family we hadn't been together for on i told him in passing that i was getting sterilized i knew it wouldn't shock him you know. he knew my views and he's very open minded no less yes i mean we have the acronym and it threw out x. and what he reacted even better than i expected by all young women. because he accompanied me and before i went to the operating theatre he said i didn't mention it before but it's your body you don't have to ask my opinion i thought it was very sweet. or that i thought well and i can think of another reason which is gradually been reinforced i've discovered more and more works by feminist writers thinkers who explain to what extent motherhood can enslave women for me it was another way of empowering myself taking control of my body and i choose not to have children while little kid or your in any.

well we see that he didn't have advertising and the capitalist system have turned children into a niche market the old hit the market has been filled with stuff they don't really need you know parents are under tremendous pressure to buy their children these things that makes them more competitive it's another model of capitalism. if you talk about population control or where it is more necessary to have lesser children it's actually in the western industrialized countries you know where we do need less such children because we have the ones who waste all the energy afford for those on the garbage it's not the people in poor countries who have more children well the problem for. you want to know one thing that i define myself as an empty need list is that almost i believe that humans are

a plague and the worst thing for this planet and for other animals. if you are people having children isn't a panacea but it might improve the situation when one of the 3rd question it get out more effort is needed. each person uses resources and produces huge amounts of waste as you will see that our family is socially aware we try and avoid plastic and such but 3 or 4 people consume more than one person as i. was. you don't know what you're missing is what people say and i don't think that is sufficient reason not to do something i mean i have never eaten hoff's meat beanpole all married. not knowing what i'm missing is not sufficient

reason to do any of those things and it's basically another thing as we've heard another thing people will say to us oh who will look after you when you're old now i didn't know that children were expected to be paid to carry. i think if i had children they would be as likely to want to look after me when i'm old as a conservative government will ever. another thing people will say yes of all but you would have made to look. now at those quite insensitive i think how do they know that i'm not having children because i caught them and they say it to people who've got a chair mental illness. you just made to look me old person. they probably were. one of the things that you get to do with how it can be. in schools or for young people and i'm not.

like children with bad. stringent good experience and to my surprise i found i really enjoyed working with a particularly children. i'm not here kind of the propaganda against mother. against mothers. i'm sitting here. for more and more women will mean a book's immediate moaners of our lives our bodies our thoughts our emotions and our decisions our fantasies i would dreams and so i learned i must not see

here and tell other women my to do. realm and the real question is is it necessary to have children without knowing why . a woman or for i think there are more than 2 for having a child until such powerful unconscious factors of external pressure that it's very hard to be certain that it was a free choice this is your. little shit it's on film for our society is totally fabricated constructed it was that so we could all be different we could dream of a completely different world. i don't feel there's one for let's stop having children think about what type of society we want and why we have children let's call a strike

a birth strike people let's stop and think 1st christians on the. on and on airs we are women we have a reproductive system that serves a purpose but that is not necessarily a woman's purpose i think the way people 1st then women i don't regret a thing i'm very happy with who i am and where i have thought honesty. i love my profession i love working 'd doesn't help if i'm not happy followers do everything for my child but inside me i'm unhappy because i don't live my dream. you have to be happy and then you can have a happy child a happy children. i think that the idea of deconstructing the traditional role of women and the family unit is also very important if we're to evolve as a society that go ok i can afford it i think it improves society if we show more empathy more respect by piano and i think these are positive values but i've put it

to of. not often to talk to people don't know your story they judge you without knowing what happened or how you really feel where they only see the outside one of the things that might save me is designing and creating things because these are things that i really love garment i'm aiming to show. any woman who wants to have children should have them and you will die for the big question is why should a woman who does not want children callum the news ringback .

our clothes our lifestyle choices and sash and statement. potter and the environment. design school and playing. with garments. made from plastics and paper planes. snuff tomorrow. hot. girlfriend bring africa. in 90 minutes w.

. they were forced into a nameless mass. of their bodies near tools. the history of the slave trade is africa's history. it describes how the coming hour in traffic plummeted an entire continent into chaos and violence the slaves system created the greatest planned accumulation of wealth the world had ever seen up to that looked into this is the journey back into the history of slavery. i think will truly be making progress when we all accept the history of slavery as all of our history. our documentary series slavery routes starts march 9th on d w. this

is d w news live from berlin uncertainty and tensions on the greek turkish border this morning thousands of migrants are camped there hoping to enter the european union they're running out of options though after ungar of the ploys a 1000 special officers to prevent greek border guards from pushing them back into turkey.