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candidates already have i think a thought and this is my show i know one thing maybe it's not that i. always norna i didn't want to have children it's just that i've never known that i wanted to have children if that makes sense but i feel really lucky to have been

gone now instead of a 100 years ago if i could be back on 100 years ago not wanting children pretty much my only options would it be to become a a lonely old woman living in a ginger bread how steep in the far east oh baby unknown. i would have made a terrible known that i really got i am alive and i think maybe for quite a long time i wasn't 100 reached aboard grounded place within myself it took a long time to feel ok in being in the world it's ok that i'm here it's all ok that exists. there is so much pressure on women to be a certain thing and one of those very positive roles is to be a mother and

a mother with very caring and happy i was told to have a child that does a massive pressure for most of us and it turns out it's also a pressure for women who don't want to be more players because if you don't want to be a mother as bush then you are seen as less of less of a woman less natural less erring less nice less of a good person country fair. and general a cost of living in the waste of space in the world of the report. i read one study from the sixty's and they asked people for 3 words to describe women who don't want to have children or women or children and the 3 words they came up with were. now. i . am one does there know many of you here agree with this concept of non motherhood

being selfish raise your hands don't be scared and that i might not see me alone. but ok it emotionally think i love being a mother means losing my identity when i'm a mother i stop being mad enough and i become the mother of the masta. there you have this is one of the little humans exist to be born grow reproduce and die we want to perpetuate our species or at least perpetuate our genius because when we all die all that we behind our children and the genes we passed on the game creators can not see there are women who do not have that biological clock i don't want to have a child because i have doubts i don't feel physiologically that i need to have a child and it seems as if women don't feel it could it be that it doesn't exist that. you know i knew as an apollo and there's no such thing as a natural word we create meanings through conventions and codes we've established

as individuals who share a culture a society. that we have decided that the word woman means mother and a woman who does not wish to be a mother has to explain herself a lot of us and she's made to feel sooner or later that she's not accepted by the norm or has no place in society i don't know. i think the overvaluing of motherhood as an institution not of individual mothers because i'm not anti mother i think i at the moment most counteract the fear around what happens if you move when she's not telling. us back to the shaming . emotionally unstable teachers with little or no understanding of child psychology that may have a permanently damage effect upon the growing personalities of the young childless

women do not exist in novels and films as themselves i as women they represent something they nearly always represent bad women well. if you look at fairytales place you look at snow white arkansas you look at this in films if you look at cruella deville it i don't want to tell a shot into a bad women evil record by psychotics them in the movies and instant she so will denmark result of deviant women i'll show you who is teaching this class so i think childless women are now partly their mothers of that as stereotypes i think really what we need to do is we need to bring them to the middle. we are being told that they will certainly. go. dark

out feeding cats to be sitting at night out dark and were born really wrong reserve board i was and i should say it might happen i don't want to deny it but if it will not happen for all the women who don't want to be mothers and it creates a lot of fear within young women because if this is the only image do you have in mind. given the at this is why would i have to be an olympic champion if i didn't want to be the way you think i might have the ability the talent and if i trained enough from an early age i might become a marathon runner or an olympic champion gymnast necessarily because but maybe i don't want that those little me in the same applies to motherhood i might have the biological capacity to give birth to rear children in bottle but i might even make

a great mother but if i don't want to do that in my life why should i have to. if you do not want a child there are certain things that you will have to get used to people saying to you there are men who were born. of cher and she a mind yeah so i think it's very tough to say about a small issue you'll change your mind like if we were having a meal together and at the start of stage i said george will think of a fun see a put in it will be all care for someone to say oh you'll change your mind well over a big thing like having children you know how do they in your mind better than you so i'm one of the 50 percent of women who don't want children he was always known

that as in no not since growing up sort of thing and it was just something that i always knew. in my early thirty's i began to question and i began to think hang on. i'm just missing something and i mean lacking and should i develop this part of me. and i realize now that with all the pressure coming in the only questions pressure that the thief the knob that's what i should be i should be a mother. we need to hear more people being on apologetic about it and not and saying not me not rocking anything i knew i was i might be different to some people got lost others are different in so many different ways.

the hour. and basically i suppose it's something i've always felt i just didn't think that i'd ever had a biological clock or if i did maybe mine was digital or had to dodge a sling response and. i. saw mine live that i'd been a midwife since 1985 children that's over 30 years my mother got pregnant when she was 14 i was about 15 at the time and i said to her you when you give birth i want to be there are going the day i arrived the day my brother was born

the midwife instructed me how to take care of him look at how to give him oxygen and place him under the heating lambert it was such an experience to not just look around but also be a part of what was happening and that's when i decided i'd definitely try to become a midwife. this award really is a i feel very fulfilled in my profession it continues to move me one i still get nervous in certain situations by then being with someone in such a crucial process is reason enough. to feel some to fight and happy there is such a nice place that is that really really really really big i am going to be a game if they suited me a bit of a back me she never did when they asked if the question is why does a woman or a couple want to have a child i'd like to know the answer experience tells me that it's often to keep the bloodline alive or to keep the soon name a knife there. it is only all. 6

but it's all good our parents aware of what our white slim to cook i don't think so . i don't think they know good. place there is a lot of couples have expectations and when you have expectations based on a fantasy you feel frustrated later after sears has been. around yeah. yeah. i've been daniel at around 20 i'd say a 25 today the question is not so much if you're going to have kids but when you have to assume that implies you made that decision because it's your duty. it's. the pressure that society puts on you is what we women internalize them and

experience says maternal instinct. is that the mother mother i don't think that maternal instinct exists as a biological fact there are women who simply don't have it as that argument alone should be enough to discredit the whole ideology of a maternal instinct the mother. when i was in a class act i was. yeah look i don't know if it looks i mean where i have ever seen or i came along. or would interface but again i didn't want children because in this world everyone is different and not everybody is born to carry out the same role. someone had to be a mother others they had to research and discover a cure for cancer guidance there that is when i was a teenager i knew deep down that i wasn't going to have kids yes that wasn't my role ok you know and i think if we.

have been looking ahead as not having children has been a handicap here's why the mothers of pregnant women for example sometimes say to me of course you don't have kids you don't know what my daughter is going through it doesn't own colleges have to have cancer to be a good oncologist now they don't. need a minute i haven't experienced what it's like to give birth myself but i have other resources and skills that make me competent to help others deliver and to be an excellent professional i'm. a good boy well you are. wave your arms. all of your all work. for. the least 12 if you only have to look at the history of women to see to what extent

we're conditioned by a society by culture by our environment i know here on my. own horse. in 18th century friends mothers were advised not to have their babies close by the baby cry that ada begin to send them to the wet nurse 24 or 48 hours after giving birth in the firm to. women who were part of the bourgeoisie or the upper aristocracy found the thought of breastfeeding their babies disgusting. their reasoning was i am not a cow. don't even take your whole. idea that babies were torn away from their mothers is totally false only that. they were not torn away women were in fact conditioned by this general discourse of society so that was when i realized that if this instinct did exist in humanity it wasn't a very powerful one less that preserved.

i don't think maternal instincts exist i think it's all a question of culture a little voice doesn't suddenly wake you up one day and saying you have to be a mother getting mad this consider right this guy had it right. that he sure amanda has the instinct to protect and care for her baby but it's a survival instinct that all mammals have even though. there is a learning curve is that it otherwise the whole women with breast feed at them wouldn't have to organize campaigns all courses to teach breastfeeding and yes it would just be instinctive allow them and humans are the only mammals i know that need to be taught how to suckle clothes wash and healthy young.

will happiness there and found that parents happiness and lonely hate as soon as they have children and and then increased again dramatically once the children had left home. perhaps some still see coincidentally there. so side expects you to be automatically happy as a mother and nothing else counts but of course that's not true or they have to be grateful and same title you shouldn't complain about the negative sides talking about the negative sides of motherhood does not desire to judge you as mentally mentally sick the meat of. the group of the

good food the fish to the birds of a. thought out. of the vision. when my book regretting motherhood was released i was really surprised to meet people who were threatening me like if i ever see you on the street i'm going to kill you i'm gonna beat you up you don't deserve your child went as far you in the 1st year after i had released my book that i thought about moving to another country. people automatically turn it into if you will regret motherhood you hate your child but it's not true all the time i knew i loved my child and i don't know why i always had to emphasize that i regret the absurd come stances of being a mother the preconditions it's actually not so difficult to understand.

before i gave birth to my daughter i used to be a photographer i'm still a photographer took photos at different countries and with these photos i would program a life and this man having to travel for more than 6 months a year in ringback the 1st 2 years after my daughter was born i continued with my work my daughter was a child that wasn't very complicated but still having a child with you is. very stressful situation so i stopped doing this show is because of my daughter i had to change my profession the way. jimmer there the issue of motherhood has progressed in some ways but there have been setbacks to this.

and it basically been with it's another case of history's pendulum of human death and moments when women have had greater freedom usually when they're needed in the public realm in times of war and a revolution economic crisis ecclesia however when these crucial moments disappear from the public eye we women are always relegated to the home again and i was delicate and this call that always involves a child continually hurt. when my husband was away for work and i took care of my daughter nobody want to ask how do you deal without your husband looking after your child is it ok for you it's like normal for the people you were looking after the child. when i was away for work and my husband would take care of my daughter he was there he

often they asked so how does this work your wife is away is it ok for you can actually look after your daughter properly don't just toward. eventual. doesn't matter what you are doing as a mother it's never a riot. to look the right wing catholic offensive of the league is this association that developed the idea that women who didn't want to breast feed were monsters. they're the most. efficient and this discourse perpetuated by a tiny group of women you know has gradually reached an enormous audience. this ecological mothering movement harking back to eternal wisdom has extremely

rough consequences for young mothers who want to do everything right and family but they can see cornfields are very devious way of sending a woman back to the home office or the to do what we need the families. who have to move under the guise of modernity it sends us back to the middle ages and that is intolerable sick and she popped up. the expectations are always on the mothers side i was expected to take proper care of my child i was expected to impress upon the proper way so it's not cold i'm the one who have to take my daughter to the doctor i know one was in charge of picking her up from can never taking her to kindergarten always at some other and nobody expected my husband to do everything and mother is always there like 7 days a week for 24 hours every day and instead of thanking the mother and seeing

much she does people still complaining what's lacking. in my opinion it's easier to be a father. and i'll feel quite lucky we didn't have any family pressure and i think the fact that us writers that we both make a living as writers men are family appear sickly just happy that we're not shooting up heroin in graveyards anything beyond what i thought of the poorness so. but of course. that source will pressure. people. in particular the way.

they were allowed to work i have a daughter i had her when i was 19 i got pregnant at 18 i didn't want to have her i didn't plan to get pregnant or become a mother but i was pressured into having her by my partner at the time and my mother and therefore i put their wishes for mine. well i don't know my mother said if you had your fun right now face the consequences to follow it was sort of a way of pain for having had sex. something like that was. 'd 'd going on there remember i threw myself into the role at 1st yes i wanted to be a good mother i thought i was obsessed because i wanted to make up for having been

reckless. i began dressing like an older woman 'd and i stopped going out i quit doing all the things i liked i stopped gaming and i tried to disguise myself as an adult woman so i'd be respected 'd. i'd like to have changed things i'd like not to have become a mother. her husband it's hard to understand how you can regret something that you had no say in. your daughter. then all noria you have a partner he doesn't treat you right or you're unhappy so you leave him you know because you have a career that you don't like so you just quit it but when you're a mother there's no turning back it's like a scar it's there with you for life. don't fail so i've suffered from a lot of pressure and anxiety that there's nothing i can do. there's always

a catch there's never a situation that makes everyone happy for me. looking at a home for the 1st few years i was absolutely a mother but my studies were the only thing that could save me as they started to take up more of my time my role as a mother dwindled out of necessity. it was impossible to do both things in but i started getting back my identity if i started talking about things on line expressing the way i felt course in. there with as a result it incited a visceral gut reaction and some people they were rude they judged me there are no safe spaces to question motherhood without people lynching you and i mean charlie on the person on me and assumed it meant i didn't love my daughter or that i was going to do her harm. so i don't think that they understand it

because they're not you they haven't experienced it so wrong area. they don't know what it means. to love a person but not the circumstances that bind you together and. conan. how much of a muslim element that i mean we've made motherhood seem like this incredibly romantic perfect experience that gives us constant happiness and satisfaction but reality is not like that. sometimes women want to throw everything overboard. some even question if it was the right decision i'm not i think sometime what you were not told about that in this one was the most it's taboo as one that is ever good enough that i would like us to stop deifying the mother the good mother with the

sacred mother the holy mother mary it's more complicated than all that and few of us can say that we've succeeded there was of all in. their home and men for example can just refuse to pay child support when i want to be how they can work abroad travel not accept paternity and it's absolutely all right but if you're a mother because they crucify you and burn you alive like a witch or stacy was something unnatural or embassy or if for example i put my career before being a mother i'm judged who were not treated equally in fact men put their career 1st. i mean to try to label mother really annoys me it grates on my nerves and it sort of doesn't fit with who i am inside to be

a mother. i tell you i love my daughter so it's really complicated because i'd like to have a different font all to me. and i got one i think at the end there are people who are concerned about the environment they say they recycle and all that but they don't know what else to do nothing of course when i see they have kids i want to tell them the 1st thing is not to have kids that are not in any horse with the most talented person the

current situation is totally unsustainable but we're constantly being told that in order to keep consuming this way we'll need 3 more planet earth's. you know go with a boy i don't think it's selfish to decide to devote your time to yourself your passion your job or to not want kids all of that is respectable i respect people who have kids but it's selfish to decide to have kids as they say they don't see themselves that way they say it's the ultimate act of love the most important thing in my life they say you know i say i thought you just said it is the most important thing in your life that's selfishness and that's fine. but we need to acknowledge that fact. if you had a feeling lately that the country seems to be getting a little padded yeah right the pagination of the united states is reaching a new hash when you citizen average love and sex. and it's almost like you're considered selfish if you don't want to procreate even though the planet is

overpopulated in one way i know since then there's been a relaxed as you can fulfill some of those one when you think down nobody needs more children we're heading for a world population of 10000000000. male men at the same time it's amusing to say that i'm selfish as well because i have 2 kids i'm totally selfish only for the family greensmith the 3rd.

one of our look at the woman who chooses not to have children is not only not selfish on the contrary she is being exceedingly was sponsible and. 'd i don't see at all that having more children is in any way a position to a goods community based on solidarity. i feel i can assert ok i can give my solidarity to other people actually even better if i don't have a child if i don't have a child at home to take care of you know. a selfish attitude would actually be to become a biological mother come to that the generous thing to do would be to adopt. other people. look at it if they have a i think that's adopting a little boy or a little girl is the ultimate act of altruism we can consider you know relation to motherhood get with it and i see that.

a lot i ask that i felt like i am now in charge of communication for the cunto orbán organization i love my job because i come from the world of art and there's also a social aspect to my work the women we design large murals and organizer of an art festivals a large part of our work however is with our education team setting up workshops with people at risk from social exclusion with primary and secondary schools. to talk to us. let me think on that and they think i had myself sterilized when i was 35 just over 4 years ago i relied on free state health care and a method called issuer it creates a natural barrier in the fallopian tubes because i was very nervous when i went. for the 1st appointment i knew there were doctors who sometimes turned down

a woman's request for this procedure so i was afraid they would refuse me but he said that as well where there was no biological reason for it i didn't have children. or not on a horse. the last i thought of women are treated like minors on all levels of society we are extremely vulnerable in this case because there is no established norm that not much like what you think of we are entirely at the mercy of the cultural religious and personal opinion of this doctor there should be a protocol in place they stay medical and their kids to school men are treated very differently i don't know any men who have been humiliated or degraded or spoken to in a paternity listed arrogant way when they request of a sect to me not a single one with a lot of stick to me. and one. i. thank you thank the someone for contemporary family we hadn't been

together for on i told him in passing that i was getting sterilized i knew it wouldn't shock him you know. he knew my views and he's very open minded helping us yes i mean we have your claim and it throughout acts and from what he reacted even better than i expected by your young woman talking to ya because he accompanied b. and before i went to the operating theatre he said i didn't mention it before i thought that but it's your body you don't have to ask my opinion i thought it was very sweet. and i can think of another reason which is gradually been reinforced i've discovered more and more works by feminist writers thinkers who explain to what extent motherhood can in slave women for me it was another way of empowering myself taking control of my body i choose not to have children. or your equal to any.

what we see is he didn't have advertising and the capitalist system have turned children into a niche market sales the old hit the market has been filled with stuff they don't really need you know parents are under tremendous pressure to buy their children these things that makes them more competitive it's another model of capitalism. if you talk about population control or where it is more necessary to have less such children it's actually in the western industrialized countries you know where we do need less such children because we're the ones who waste all the energy afford for those on the garbage it's not the people in poor countries who have more children while the problem for. humanity one that i define myself as an empty need list and i believe that humans

are a plague and the worst thing for this planet and for other animals. fewer people having children isn't a panacea but it might improve the situation when one of the 3rd question it get out more effort is needed. that each person uses resources and produces huge amounts of waste and hear people say that our family is socially aware we try and avoid plastic and such but 3 or 4 people consume more than one i thought well but still hasn't. happened. you don't know what you're missing is what people say and i don't think that is sufficient reason not to do something i mean i have never eaten hoff's meat beanpole oh mari. not knowing what i'm missing is not sufficient

reason to do any of those things it's basically another thing as we've heard another thing people will say. oh who will look after you when you're old now i didn't know that children were expected to be paid to carry. i think if i had children they would be as likely to want to look after me when i'm old as a conservative government will ever another thing people will say all but you would have made to look. now at those quite insensitive i think how do they know that i'm not having children because i cannot help them and say it to people who've got a chair mental illness. you just made to look me old person. they probably wouldn't. have the things that you do is somehow it can be. in schools or for young people and i'm not.

like children with bad. astringent good experience and to my surprise i found i really enjoyed the way he way through particularly in children. i'm. kind of a propaganda. against mothers. i'm sitting here. for more and more we'll be able to be that moaners of our knives and our bodies our thoughts our emotions and our decisions our fact is in our dreams and so i can't i must not see here and tell

other women much of the. realm in the real question is is it necessary to have children without knowing why . a woman or for empathy then more defending a child entails such powerful unconscious factors of external pressure that it's very hard to be certain that it was a free choice and this is your neighbor. in the 5th there is until more for our society is totally fabricated constructed close up so we could all be different we could dream of a completely different world. but i don't feel there's one for let's stop having children think about what type of society we want and why we have children let's call a strike a birth strike or let's stop and think 1st refresh is on the.

on the nairs we are women and we have a reproductive system that serves a purpose but that is not necessarily a woman's purpose i think the way people 1st then women i don't regret a thing i'm very happy with who i am and where i have thought honestly. i love my profession i love working doesn't help if i'm not happy followers do everything for my child but inside me i'm on happy because i don't live my dream. you have to be happy and then you can have a happy child a happy children. i think that the idea of deconstructing the traditional role of women and the family unit is also very important if we're to evolve as a society to that girl chaos in the heart and i think it improves society if we show more empathy more respect by piano and i think these are positive values about

us put it there was not. the not often to tornado people don't know your story they judge you without knowing what happened or how you really feel where they only see the outside one of the things that might save me is designing in creating things these are things that i really love down into may mean. that any woman who wants to have children should have them and you will die for the big question is why should a woman who does not want children callum than enters. into

the conflict zone year after year the war goes on with no danger in sight was who's really trying to stop it my guess is we may hear in munich is the country's foreign minister mohammad abdullah al muhajir. combo thousands of civilian casualties will be enormous human suffering. from nothing. conflicts. 30 minutes from t.w. .

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