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to the radio i took a thought i think this is my no one think children maybe it's not that i. always known i didn't want to have children it's just that i've never known that i wanted to have children if that makes sense but i feel really lucky to have been

born now instead of a 100 years ago if i could be back on 100 years ago not wanting children pretty much my only options would it be to become a a lonely old woman living in a ginger bread how steep in the far east all be unknown and i would have made a terrible non a really glad that i am alive and i think that maybe for quite a long time i wasn't 100 reached aboard grounded place within myself it took a long time to feel ok in being in the world it's all ok that i'm here it's all ok that exists. there is so much pressure on women to be a certain thing one of those very positive roles is to be a mother and

a mother who was very caring and nurturing and happy i was told i was to have a child that does a massive pressure for models and it turns out it's also a pressure for women who don't watch to be mothers because if you don't want to be a mother as bush then you are seen as less of less of a woman less natural less caring less nice less of a good person country in. general a possibly a bit of a waste of space in the world of the report. i read today from the sixty's and they are over 3 words to describe women who don't want to have children or women children and the 3 words they came up with were and. nancy said and. i . am one does there not many of you here agree with this concept of non motherhood

being selfish reasons don't be scared and that i'm honestly when you know. why ok it emotionally think i love being a mother means losing my identity when i'm a mother and i stop being mad enough and i become the mother of the masta. there you have this is one of the little humans exist to be born grow reproduce and die we want to perpetuate our species or at least perpetuate our genes even money because when we all die all that we leave behind our children and the genes we passed on them of course dr gave me credit not so there are women who do not have that biological clock but i don't want to have a child because i have doubts i don't feel physiologically that i need to have a child and he seemed as if women don't feel it could it be that it doesn't exist that. knowing reasonable doubt and there's no such thing as

a natural word we create meanings through conventions and codes we've established as individuals who share a culture a society. that we have decided that the word woman means mother and a woman who does not wish to be a mother has to explain herself a lot less and less she's made to feel sooner or later that she's not accepted by the norm or has no place in society well i don't know. i think the overvaluing of motherhood as an institution not of individual mothers because i'm not anti mothers i think it is so high at the moment to counteract the fear around what happens if you move when she's not telling and. so it's back to the shaming. emotionally unstable teachers with little or no understanding of child psychology may have a permanently damage effect upon the growing personalities of the young childless

women do not exist in novels and films as themselves i as women they represent something they nearly always represent that women well. if you look at fairytales clearly look at snow white arkansas you look back at this in films if you look at cruella didn't really know i don't want to tell a chanst that bad women later evil record by psychotics women could be just as instant she so will denmark result of deviant women i'll show you who's teaching this class so i think childless women are now partly their mothers of that as stereotypes i think really what we need to do is we need to bring them to the middle. we are being told that they will certainly be a go. all of their cat feeding cats seem to be out sitting at

night out dark and were born really wrong reserve born and i was and i should say it's might happen i don't want to deny it but it that it will not happen for all the women who don't want to be mothers and it creates a lot of fear within young women because if this is the only image do you have in mind. giving you the media to say why would i have to be an olympic champion if i didn't want to be the way you think i might have the ability the talent and if i train enough from an early age i might become a marathon runner or an olympic champion gymnast necessarily because but maybe i don't want that even those little me in the same applies to motherhood i might have the biological capacity to give birth to rear children in bottle i might even make

a great mother but if i don't want to do that in my life why should i have to. if you do not want a child there are certain things that you will have to get used to people saying to you there are men who were born the eighty's of. a man. so i think it's very tough to say about a small issue you'll change your mind like if we were having a meal together and at the start of stage i said your top income fund see i put in it would be ok for someone to say oh you'll change your mind over a big thing like having children you know how do they in your mind better than you so i'm one of the 50 percent of women who don't want children he was always known

that as a no not since growing up sort of thing and it was just something that i always knew. just in my early thirty's i began to question and i began to think hang on is it that i'm just missing something or my is part of me lacking and should i develop this part of me . and i realize now that with all the pressure coming in the only questions pressure that the teeth the non that's what i should be i should be in more that. we need to hear more people being on apologetic about it and not and saying i'm not messing with not liking anything i know. i'm might be different to some people losses if i'm in so many different ways.

and basically i suppose it's something i've always felt i just didn't think that i'd ever had a biological clock or if i did maybe mine was digital or how to dodge a silly response when. i. saw my name is that i've been a midwife since 1985 are considering that's over 30 years my mother got pregnant when she was 14 i was about 15 at the time and i said to her you know when you give birth i want to be there. when the day arrived the day my brother was born the

midwife instructed me how to take care of him to give him oxygen and place him under the heating lammers it was such an experience to not just look around but also be a part of what was happening and that's when i did. so i did i definitely tried to become a midwife. mr morley is a i feel very fulfilled in my profession it continues to move me i still get nervous in certain situations if it occurred by the way and being with someone in such a crucial process is reason enough to feel such a fight and happy there is such a face. that it really really really really big i am already taking it a day to suit a day having to lebanon day as if the question is why does a woman or a couple want to have a child i'd like to know the answer but less experience tells me that it's often to keep the bloodline alive or to keep the surname a knife. it. says

right it's all good our parents aware of what our weight slim you can get i don't think so. i don't think they know good. place there's a lot of couples have expectations and when you have expectations based on a fantasy you feel frustrated later mr serrano. now. yeah. i live in their new leader at around 23 i'd say a 25 today the question is not so much if you're going to have kids but when you have that implies you made that decision because it's your duty. it's. the pressure that society puts on you is what we women internalize them and

experience says maternal instinct. to the mother mother i don't think that maternal instinct exists as a biological fact there are women who simply don't have it as that argument alone should be enough to discredit the whole ideology of a maternal instinct the mother. when i was in the other class there. as i would yeah look i don't know if it looks i mean where i have never seen or i can only that low. or would the 5th but again i didn't want children because in this world everyone is different but not everybody is born to carry out the same role. someone had to be a mother others they had to research and discover a cure for cancer guidance there that is when i was a teenager i knew deep down that i wasn't going to have kids yes that wasn't my role ok you know and i think if we.

look at if it's actually not having children has been a handicap here's why the mothers of pregnant women for example sometimes say to me of course you don't have kids you don't know what my daughter is going through it doesn't own colleges have to have cancer to be a good oncologist now they don't. get a minute i haven't experienced what it's like to give birth myself but i have other resources and skills that make me competent out august 11th and to be an excellent professional on. the board well you are. waive your are. all your own way. or. the least wildly you only have to look at the history of women to see to what extent

we're conditioned by a society by culture by our environment. of force. in 18th century france mothers were advised not to have their babies close by the baby credit. to begin to send them to the wet nurse $24.00 or 48 hours after giving birth in the firm to. women who were part of the bourgeoisie or the upper aristocracy found the thought of breastfeeding their babies disgusting. their reasoning was i am not a cow she. i. don't think your. idea that babies were torn away from their mothers is totally false only that. they were not torn away women were in fact conditioned by this general discourse of society so that was when i realized that if this instinct did exist in humanity it wasn't a very powerful one lester. girl

i don't think maternal instincts exist i think it's all a question of culture a little boys doesn't suddenly wake you up one day and saying you have to be a mother. sure a mother has the instinct to protect and care for her baby but it's a survival instinct that all mammals have to go. there is a learning curve is that it is otherwise the whole women with breast feed them wouldn't have to organize campaigns all courses to teach breastfeeding and yes it would just be instinctive allow them and humans are the only mammals i know that need to be taught how to suckle. and healthy young it that.

they will happiness there and found that parents happiness and only hate as soon as they have children and and then increased again dramatically once the children had left home. profs are still sick i will sit and say i. have. society expects you to be automatically happy as a mother and nothing else counts but of course that's not true or they have to be grateful and thankful you shouldn't complain about the negative sides talking about the negative sides of motherhood is not desired people to judge you as mentally being mentally sick he needs a good. group of the good. fish to

murder them with. out the truth of the vision. when my book regretting motherhood was released i was really surprised to meet people who were threatening me like if i ever see you on the street i'm going to kill you i'm gonna beat you up you don't deserve your child went as far year after i had released my book that i thought about moving to another country. people automatically turn it into if you will regret motherhood you hate your child but it's not true all the time i knew i loved my child and i don't know why i always had to emphasize that i regret the absurd come stances of being a mother the precondition it's actually not so difficult to understand.

'd before i gave birth to my daughter i used to be a photographer i'm still a photographer took photos at different countries and with these photos i would program a life and this man having to travel for more than 6 months a year in the 1st 2 years after my daughter was born i continued with my work my daughter was a child that wasn't very complicated but still having a child with you is. very stressful so i stopped doing this show is because of my daughter i had to change my profession for the. was jim that very issue of motherhood has progressed in some ways but there have been setbacks to this.

and it basically been there was it another case of history's pendulum of human death and moments when women have had greater freedom usually when they're needed in the public realm in times of war and revolution economic crisis at least here in america however when these crucial moments disappear from the public eye women are always relegated to the home again and i was that a person and this callback always involves a child in the only home. when my husband was away for work then i took care of my daughter nobody want to ask how do you deal without your husband a looking after your child is it ok for you it's like normal for the people you were looking after the child. when i was away for work

and my husband would take care of my daughter he was there he often really asked so how does this work your wife is away is it ok for you can you actually look after your daughter properly don't just. give introduction. doesn't matter what you're doing as a mother it's never riot. or look the right wing catholic offensive of the league is this association that developed the idea that women who didn't want to breast feed were monsters. they're the most. efficient in this discourse perpetuated by a tiny group of women in all has gradually reached an enormous audience. see girls this ecological mothering movement harking back to eternal wisdom has

extremely rough consequences for young mothers who want to do everything right. they can see course it's a very devious way of sending a woman back to the home it infests on the to do what we did the families. who have to move there under the guise of modernity it sends us back to the middle ages and that is intolerable sick and super. the expectations are always on the mother's side i was expected to take proper care of my child i was expected to impress upon the proper way so it's not cold i'm the one who have to take my daughter to the doctor i know one was in charge of picking her up from can never taking her to kindergarten always at some other and nobody expected my husband to do everything and mother is always there like 7 days a week for 24 hours every day and instead of thanking the mother and seen

much she does people still complaining what's lacking. in my opinion it's easier to be a father. man alfie were quite lucky we didn't have any family pressure and i think the fact that as writers we both make a living as writers men after emily a perfectly just happy that we're not shooting up heroin in graveyards anything beyond what i thought of the borders so. but of course east that source will pressure. people. in particular the way.

they were i. have a daughter i had her when i was 19 i got pregnant at 18 i didn't want to have her i didn't plan to get pregnant or become a mother but i was pressured into having her by my partner at the time and my mother and i put their wishes for mine. i don't call my mother said if you've had your fun right now face the consequences to follow it was sort of a way of pain for having had sex. something like that. 'd 'd before and i know better than no i threw myself into the role at 1st yes i wanted to be a good mother i thought i was obsessed because i wanted to make up for having been

reckless and. if i began dressing like an older woman 'd i stopped going out i quit doing all the things i liked i stopped gaming and i tried to disguise myself as an adult woman so i'd be respected 'd. i'd like to have changed things i'd like not to have become a mother. her to be and it's hard to understand how you can regret something that you had no say in. your daughter. in a warrior you have a partner he doesn't treat you right or you're unhappy so you leave him you know because you have a career that you don't like so you just quit it but when you're a mother there's no turning back it's like a scar it's there with you for life. so i've suffered from

a lot of pressure and anxiety that there's nothing i can do. same prayer there's always a catch there's never a situation that makes everyone happy and. looking at home for the 1st few years i was absolutely a mother but my studies were the only thing that could save me as they started to take up more of my time my role as a mother dwindled out of necessity and that it was impossible to do both things in but i started getting back my identity if i started talking about things on line expressing the way i felt out of course in fear. there but as a result it incited a visceral gut reaction and some people they were rude they judged me there are no safe spaces to question motherhood without people lynching you and i think child of the person are and they assumed it meant i didn't love my daughter or that i was going to do her harm and you. know going on tips i don't think that they understand

it because they're not you they haven't experienced it on the area. they don't know what it means. to love a person but not the circumstances that bind you together and care conan. i must tell you about the law might that mean that we've made motherhood seem like this incredibly romantic perfect experience that gives us constant happiness and satisfaction as that but reality is not like that. sometimes women want to throw everything overboard. some even question if it was the right decision i'm not i think sometimes when we're not told about that initial muslims how it's taboo why isn't that good enough that i would like us to stop deifying the mother the good

mother the sacred mother the holy mother. it's more complicated than all that and few of us can say that we've succeeded. because of. their home and then for example you can just refuse to pay child support or hire for an hour they can work abroad travel not accept paternity and it's absolutely all right but if you're a mother they crucify you and burn you alive like a witch or to say see it was something unnatural. or if for example i put my career before being a mother i'm judged who were not treated equally in fact men put their career 1st. i mean to try to label mother really annoys me it grates on my nerves and it sort

of doesn't fit with who i am inside to be a mother. i tell you i love my daughter so it's really complicated because i'd like to have a different font all to reimplement. and i got one i thought getting there are people who are concerned about the environment they say they recycle and all that but they don't know what else to do and most of us when i see they have kids i want to tell them the 1st thing is not to have kids that are not in any horse is the most talented person catholic current

situation is totally unsustainable but we're constantly being told that in order to keep consuming this way we'll need 3 more planet earth's. you know get over they way i don't think it's selfish to decide to devote your time to yourself your passion your job or to not want kids all of that is respectable i respect people who have kids but it's selfish to decide to have kids as they say they don't see themselves that way they say it's the ultimate act of love the most important thing in my life they say you know i say you just said it is the most important thing in your life that selfishness and that's fine. that we need to acknowledge that fact. i do have a feeling lately that the country seems to be getting a little tragedy and like the population of the united states is reaching a new hash when you citizen average love and sex. you're

considered selfish if you don't want to procreate even though the planet is overpopulated and when we are not since then there's been a real exchange to fulfill some that was one when the new down nobody needs more children we're heading for a world population of 10000000000. male men at the same time it's amusing to say that i'm selfish as well because i have 2 kids i'm totally selfish only for the family release method.

we're not gonna get the woman who chooses not to have children is not only not selfish on the contrary she's being exceedingly responsible and. i don't see at all that having more children is in any way a position to a good community based on solidarity. i feel i can assert ok i can give my solidarity to other people actually even better if i don't have a leg for the only child at home to take care of you know. a selfish attitude would actually be to become a biological mother come to that the generous thing to do would be to adopt. other people. look at it if they have a i think that's adopting a little boy or a little girl is the ultimate act of altruism we can consider in relation to motherhood. that.

i would ask that i thought i know in charge of communication for the cunto run organization i love my job because i come from the world of art and there's also a social aspect to my work the women we design large murals and organizer of an art festivals a large part of our work however is with our education team setting up workshops with people at risk from social exclusion with primary and secondary schools. to talk to us. let me think on that and they think i had myself sterilized when i was 35 just over 4 years ago i relied on free state health care and a method called insure it creates a natural barrier in the fallopian tubes. and i was very nervous when i went. for the 1st appointment i knew there were doctors who sometimes turn down

a woman's request for this procedure so i was afraid they would refuse me but he said that as well where there was no biological reason for it i didn't have children. or not in a horse. and i thought i thought about it the following women are treated like minors on all levels of society we are extremely vulnerable in this case because there is no established norm. to think that we are entirely at the mercy of the cultural religious and personal opinion of this doctor there should be a protocol in place to medical and their kids to school men are treated very differently i don't know any men who have been humiliated or degraded or spoken to in a paternity listed arrogant way when they requested a vasectomy not a single one with a lot of stick to me. asking well. i. thank you thank someone for temple we hadn't been

together for a long i told him in passing that i was getting sterilized i knew it wouldn't shock him you know. he knew my views and he's very open minded you know unless you're saying we have your claim and there throughout x. and what he reacted even better than i expected by all young women. because he accompanied b. and before i went to the operating theatre he said i didn't mention it before i thought that but it's your body you don't have to ask my opinion i thought it was very sweet. and i can think of another reason which is gradually been reinforced i've discovered more and more works by feminist writers thinkers who explain to what extent motherhood can in slave women for me it was another way of empowering myself taking control of my body and i choose not to have children while little peculiarly and any.

well we see that as he did lack of advertising and the capitalist system have turned children into a niche market sales the ok the market has been filled with stuff they don't really need as parents are under tremendous pressure to buy their children these things that makes them more competitive it's another model of capitalism. if you talk about as popular control or where it is not necessary to have less such children it's actually in the western industrialized countries you know where we do need less achievement because we're the ones who waste on the energy of fuel for those on the garbage it's not the people in 4 countries who have more children while the program. you want to know one that might define myself as an n.t. you need a list of settlements and i believe that humans are

a plague and the worst thing for this planet and for other animals. and fewer people having children isn't a panacea but it might improve the situation when one of the 3 questions on it and i'm more effort is needed as each person uses resources and produces huge amounts of waste heat people see it as it our family is socially aware we try and avoid plastic and such but 3 or 4 people consume more than one that's what will but as i also. you don't know what you're missing is what people say and i don't think that is sufficient reason not to do something i mean i have never eaten hoff's meet bayne pope oh mari. not knowing what i'm missing is not sufficient

reason to do any of those things basically another thing as we've heard another thing people will say. oh who will look after you when you're old now i didn't know that children were expected to be paid to carry. i think if i had children they would be as likely to want to look after me when i'm old as a conservative government will and another thing people will say is all but you would have made to look. now at those quite insensitive i think how do they know that i'm not having children because i caught them and i say it to people who've got a chair mental illness. you just made to look me old person. they probably were. the things that you were some how

it can be. schools are for young people and i'm not like that find all i children. strange and good and experience and to my surprise i found i very enjoy working with take you in the children. i'm. kind of a provider. against mothers. all right. i'm sitting here. 4 more and more will be able to me that moaners of our lives and our bodies our thoughts our emotions and our decisions our fantasies and our dreams and so i can't i must not see here and tell other

women much into a. realm in the real question is is it necessary to have children without knowing why. a woman or for empathy for them long before having a child until such powerful unconscious factors of external pressure that it's very hard to be certain that it was a free choice and this is yet the name of. the little shit their own film of our society is totally fabricated constructed because they're so we could all be different we could dream of a completely different world. but i don't feel there's a let's stop having children think about what type of society we're not and why we have children let's call a strike

a burst strike. let's stop and think 1st refresh it on the. phone and then there's we are women and we have a reproductive system that serves a purpose but that is not necessarily a woman's purpose i think the way people 1st then women i don't regret a thing i'm very happy with who i am and where i have thought honestly. i love my profession i love working doesn't help if i'm not happy followers do everything for my child but inside me i'm on happy because i don't live my dream. you have to be happy and then you can have a happy child a happy children. and i think that the idea of deconstructing the traditional role of women and the family unit is also very important if we're to evolve as a society girl question and what i think it improves society if we show more empathy more respect by thiago and i think these are positive values of put it

above. 100 not often 2 tornado people don't know your story they judge you without knowing what happened or how you really feel where they only see the outside one of the things that might save me is designing and creating things these are things that i really love garment i'm aiming to show. any woman who wants to have children should have them and you will die but the big question is why should a woman who does not want children callum the neighbors. every

saturday at 12 pm. in the heart of this with people. coming for the noon song. special service some other city. singers perform poorly music press. the spiritual celebration. song. 30 minutes on w.

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is deja vu news live from burlington northern italy grinds to a standstill as of quarantine on 16000000 people takes effect prime minister decepticon to order the lockdown to contain a rapidly expanding corona virus outbreak the decree imposes travel and other restrictions in italy's wealthiest and most populous region. and women fighting for equality in pockets stop international women's day takes us to a sports club in karachi and helping women break out of that.