but. happy birthday to us remember you can get any of the day's news stories on our website. to get a false on instagram and twitter as well for now the author of the hell of. a swatch of. the flame. to go beyond. the stories that matter to. us. whatever it takes. the running the touch explain a little nugget d.w. made for mines.

it gives us comfort and chances and makes us your into merge and become one with another person. love our full emotion perhaps even the most powerful of all. people stupid's love is happiness sorrow jealousy sexual desire it's the kind of love the we humans experience doesn't exist in the same way other animals. and it's very interesting to investigate why love in this intensity only develops in humans hate i mentioned the and. i think it's important not to preserve the what love for romantic relationships but to see how it plays out every day in which people think of love as a very passive experience you just fall into love or you fall out of love and in a way that's very mature and irresponsible because if you're trying to make

a partnership work with someone you want to understand a little bit about how love works. that 6. actually what scientists around the world want to find out what exactly is love what happens in our hearts and brains and how can you make love last a lifetime. love is a basic need as babies we experience it for the 1st time parental love is instinctual and unconditional. in the best case scenarios mothers and fathers loved everything about their babies the way they look the way they smell the sounds they make. for

a mother being close to her child can eclipse all other needs this is biologically preprogramed because human babies cannot survive without parental care. for them parental love is as important as food and drink. here's. what. the american psychologist terry harlow proved this in the 1950 s. with controversial experiments in which he separated baby monkeys from their mothers take the baby market put in a wire. harlow wanted to prove the importance of caregiving and companionship the monkeys were fed from a bottle of milk hanging from a wire mother a 2nd mother had a face and a fur coat but no milk the monkeys briefly went to the milk mother to drink but

spent the rest of their time with their firm other the monkeys that grew up in. elation later showed signs of severe psychological distress. these experiments demonstrated for the 1st time how vital love companionship and nurturing are for infants. researchers today employ less cruel techniques to find out how important love is for babies for example by analyzing their saliva when a child feel stressed or anxious the stress hormone cortisol can be found in its saliva. joan and her mother who are taking part in a so-called still face test in which the mother is not allowed to show her child any affection for 2 minutes. it's come to us then now comes the still face the mother turns away and the child suddenly notices that the mother is no longer responding on his mouth and they argued that

food and this can be a stressor for the baby and so now will analyze how the child responds to get the kind it gets damaged. and we can see that the child feels that too much time has passed without a response and she's not happy about it. and the more time when the mother is responsive to her baby's emotions then the child knows if i'm sad if i'm angry my mother will be there for me because there are studies that show that there are links between this early mother child interaction and the capacity to bond in later life and tacked on on have been. on the. so our experience of love during early infancy shapes our

ability to form meaningful relationships later in life. but there are some mothers who cannot feel love for their babies for example because of postpartum depression . the researchers want to find out which factors influence the maternal bond by using brain scans to determine the blood flow to the reward center in the mother's brain they can measure maternal love. super when you're ready we'll start the neurofeedback test i'm ready ok lets start . the researchers see the same baby photos as the mother lying in the m.r.i. scanner a gauge shows how strongly the mothers reward center is activated the mother sees it too which allows her to assess the strength of her maternal bond this process is called neurofeedback. 5 she was assuring us that we are here we can see that she's

able to regulate her emotions and bring them into the green zone so she's a mother with a strong bond. but for a mother with a weak bond this is hard. that's where we can use neurofeedback to train brain functions that are hypoactive meaning not active enough and give them a boost on the tivo built. using the power of her brain the mother learns how to enhance the parent child bond and gets immediate feedback. it's a way to practice love. see if she exercises her brain like a muscle over time this behavior becomes automatic maybe the next time she sees a picture of her baby she won't need a strategy the bond will kick in instinctively for the line from stoke on. we can practice love thanks to the biology of our brains our feelings are regulated by hormones and neurotransmitters it seems we can affect how they're released i'm easy

e.d.f. be idea that you can influence such a complex process like feelings of attachment and bonding by regulating your psychobiology is something i find extremely fascinating that we have a guy thought of us finished off before they left in the end the substance that intrigues scientists like beata ditson is called oxytocin it can be administered as a nasal spray but it's mainly produced by the body itself. oxytocin is a chemical substance produced in the brain. this neural hormone helps create the feeling of love. that's why oxytocin is also 'd called the cuddle chemical. via the bloodstream it carries its biochemical message throughout the body priming it for affection tenderness and trust. oxytocin was discovered in $1000.00 or

6 as the hormone that triggers labor then scientists realized that it was also involved in lactation breastfeeding. today we know that oxytocin also plays a role in the maternal bond and in caretaking behaviors. scientists say that oxytocin regulates our social interactions and thus ensures the survival of our species the hormone isn't only found in humans but also in other social animals including worms ants and rats. man study in oxytocin in human is alike study enough pandora box i don't know what is going in the brain of humans and understand physiological role of folks at us and of course you needed models and the best model would be social animals. in

these rats the researchers control the release of oxytocin with considerable of facts on the social behavior of the animals. if you simulate accept those the became more social they interact basically all the time and it sells oxytocin cells release oxytocin. sniffing stroking cuddling researchers still know little about what triggers the release of oxytocin but one thing they do know is that without this hormone rats would be less social. and humans wouldn't fall in love infatuation is like a bio chemical explosion and oxytocin sends lovers hearts racing quite literally because the heart is particularly susceptible to its effects. recent studies show

that it can even produce the hug hormone itself. but love creates even greater chaos in the brain. here it flicks so many biochemical switches that acute infatuation actually resembles a psychotic disorder. when it comes to our brains crazy in love isn't too far from the truth of the neurobiologist lucy brown says that love is more than a feeling love is a drive like hunger and thirst and what's more love really does make us blind. it's the front of the brain that is constantly judging other people just as you walk down the street you see someone coming towards you you may notice their shoes you may notice how they walk is their hair long how unusual are they were

constantly engaged in social judgments people who are in the early stages of romantic love. when we look at the functional activity shut this part of the brain down. you you just don't engage in social judgments of the person you're in love with you shut the you shut off that judgment. during infatuation the evolutionarily primitive structures of our brain take over it's here that all these hormones are produced that influence our behavior so profoundly that love can feel out of our control. it may seem irrational for love to switch off common sense but for evolutionary biologist. the craziness of love makes sense evolutionarily speaking.

from a biological viewpoint it's fairly clear romantic love developed to benefit our offspring think about it even in a group of hunter gatherers it takes $34.00 or 5 years for a child to be able to keep up with the group. this time the men have to provide shelter and food and. that's of and they will only do that if they have an emotional attachment to both the child and the woman i thought. but why her. why him why are we attracted to some people but not others at 1st it's all about looks in the blink of an eye we scan our potential partner and collect information about their age health mood and social status. men have an eye for women with symmetrical faces large eyes for lips high foreheads

and of course female proportions men usually find young healthy women attractive. in men women look for a strong chin broad shoulders narrow hips and quite often signs of social status. but in the end the chemistry has to be in sync and that has a lot to do with scent are no is not as easily fooled as our eyes as this test demonstrates. the deaths of those 2 young. people now you have by the hands of this student couple is taking part in an experiment everyone brings a t. shirt they wore overnight the test subjects are now offered 5 t. shirts worn by strangers plus that of their partner they have to evaluate which

scent they find attractive people can sniff out other people's immune systems and tend to select a mate whose immune genetics are different and complimentary to their own that way nature ensures that offspring have a robust immune system. the study confirmed the assumption that heterosexual women tend to sniff out this genetic difference more easily than men who don't seem to have a nose for it. by men as the saw just in my for a man the genetic parameters don't seem to matter that's not what he bases it on. the typical man likes the smell of his partner because that's a smell that's familiar to him. and interestingly the longer a man is with a woman the more he likes her smell the fact the. commitment and so it's the woman who gets a whiff of whether the man is a good genetic match or not unless she's on the pill.

that. there is an older study from 1995 which showed that women who are on the pill assess the genetic compatibility of a man differently from women who aren't on this but i finished. our study confirms this. woman who are on the pill behave similarly to men. in this way and man i place this means they don't really care about genetic similarity anymore. however scientists can't say whether hormonal contraception influences a woman's choice of partner. but the 1st kiss does seem to serve as a kind of litmus test studies show that women often say that they could tell by a kiss whether their partner was suitable for a long term relationship. women seem to be pickier than men perhaps because of the risks associated with pregnancy and child bearing during kissing the partners

instinctively exchange biological messages in a flash our brain has to evaluate vast amount of information how does the other person smell and taste are their lips soft or rough because hard or tender happiness hormones flood the body and through his saliva the man infuses the woman with testosterone which increases her desire sex is a love booster sex hormones reduce anxiety and stress blood pressure and heart rate go up just like during exercise that's why sex is good for the cardiovascular system it might also strengthen the immune system by exposing it to foreign body fluids. in short sex is much more than just reproduction. what's striking is that humans have sex much more often than they have children

around $1000.00 times more. this of course indicates that sexuality has another purpose and sussman dance a few feet into it gives you a much more intense and intimate knowledge of the other person than the fence and the birds and mice are on the shared desire of a shared pleasure helps cement their relationship for been monitors not stopping to see it. finding the right partner has been a bit hit and miss over the years but that might be changing. more and more singles are now meeting online rather than at parties in the pub or at work. in the 21st century dating has gone digital.

bianca and marc met online and have been together for 14 years. and. at that time bianca was working a lot and didn't have much time for socializing marc was working abroad but wanted to return to germany is right on if. i was living in hong kong and i found it hard to meet people there. so i opened an account on a german dating site. is coming and both of us had just ended a long term relationships and didn't want to repeat the same mistakes decide that my relationship had failed because we weren't a good match about things like family children buying a house getting a job. and. mark and bianca met each other because of this man who goes. the psychologist

believes that 2 things in life should be carefully planned finding the right job and finding the right partner so he developed a vocational aptitude test and a personality test for an online dating site he asked to be. my original idea was not to identify the ideal partner but to avoid the big mistakes. in life it's often much better to try and avoid mistakes than to look for perfection. before then you move on to hold based on that principle who developed a partnership test it's a comprehensive computer questionnaire that tries to capture personality traits that play into a good and lasting relationship. you need to know who you are to know what you want that's what we call a partner profile or feel and it's mention. it includes more than $100.00 questions about character traits and personal preferences but also includes questions and

images that seem odd at 1st for example the question of whether a broken heart affects your appetite. isn't this life. food is passion weight loss or gain are related to strong emotional stakes somebody who doesn't lose or gain weight when they're unhappy is not a very passionate person. according to who goes both partners must be equally passionate otherwise there are poor match but can something as complex as love be predicted like this. whether 2 people hit it off is up to them we are only increasing the chances of that happening. so meeting someone is digital but loving is still analog. leave. mark and bianca

exchanged messages for weeks before they met for the 1st time. we met at the hamburg airport i was wearing a really cool glittering gold and silver suit younger really like that the result you walked up and kissed me right away that was. of course we've known each other for a long time that was a bit much but ok we knew each other so well already. our character traits at least . i figured at the personal side of things were also a match. if we like each other sent in taste and whatnot it was clear to me that we might end up getting married and having children together. but bianca wasn't on the same page yet. exactly i wasn't ready yet. i got ahead of things.

during those 1st moments i thought this is not really what i had in mind but i went along with it because i knew that our personalities were a match that this would pass. today mark and bianca are happily married and have 3 children so in their case the algorithm certainly seems to have helped them find a match. scientists are just beginning to study online dating and its impact on love like sexual therapist melanie but now. and human can land so in a disc when i meet someone in a club or at a dinner party with friends i notice a lot of things about that person. i see how they act how they move their facial expressions to me me how do they speak how do they smell. i perceive them with

all of my senses on all channels mention maybe even before we talk to each other. and that's what's so different about online dating. and that's why we say that online dating profiles reduce 3 dimensional people to 2 dimensional displays of information. somewhat ironically despite the rise of online dating the traditional model of marriage seems to be enjoying a kind of 2nd wind is among marriages still in the number of marriages has declined since the 1950 s. but since the turn of the millennium the number has remained constant the number of relationships that end has declined in recent years this means that the long term relationship as an institution as an ideal is still very important to us. but that's not true for every country in japan for example 21st century lifestyles have given rise to a new trend many japanese women fantasize about the perfect wedding but what they

want is the celebration not the spouse that's the idea behind solo weddings a wedding starring only the bride and no one else. let's get a little more so this is the right time for me now on the writing. i don't want to have to wait to wear a wedding dress i can do it now if i like and it's him. porton to me i don't necessarily have to have a husband it's not like my soul won't rest in peace if i don't end up finding the right partner. and. studies show that half of all japanese under the age of 30 have never had sex or romantic partnership in japan love has fallen out of favor. maybe that's because a relationship can become routine this usually happens after about 2 years

emotional turmoil turns into tranquility some couples separate but others enter a new phase of love support and security become more important and grand passion. with. love might not be as exciting anymore but it becomes healthier people in functioning relationships are sick less often and eat a more balanced diet although they don't necessarily eat less still studies show that a stable relationship helps protect against kirti of vascular disease. touch ups reduce stress and lowers the heart rate and blood pressure. and kissing might even help with hay fever. once again it's

oxytocin that helps account for many of these health benefits administered to couples as a nasal spray oxytocin even helps them argue less men via pot would be to harm the human we asked couples to argue in the lab and oxytocin actually influenced their behavior that they behave more positively in these conflicts in our latest research focuses on these positive effects. conflicts aren't the only thing that. in the quality of a partnership but we do want to investigate whether this might be used as a kind of intervention. how can our behavior influence our oxytocin levels then perhaps influence things like wound healing or stress level us. dottie. in a recent study scientists investigated whether oxytocin makes wounds heal faster 1st they inflicted small burns on the forearms of both partners. normally burns

like this take a week to heal. so do they heal faster when a loving partner is at your side. and can oxytocin spray speed up healing. one partner receives oxytocin the other a placebo. a week later the result is eye opening the oxytocin spray appears to have made the man being or nurturing towards his partner and her wounds healed more quickly. this might be because oxytocin reduces stress levels. the scientists regularly tested the participants saliva for cortisol it's a hormone that our bodies release in response to stress. but oxytocin seems to interfere with this mechanism that you. must bear in vietnam.

what the data shows is that when the study participants took oxytocin their cortisol levels were lower yet in need of a government owned and that could be the reason why oxytocin has an influence on wound healing. so love can actually have healing powers. the biochemical benefits of oxytocin can make our lives not only happier but also healthier. but love can also hurt. the loss of love or the loss of a loved one can cause profound grief and emotional suffering. heartache can even lead to what is known as broken heart syndrome. and it can even be fatal. the symptoms are similar to heart attack the

affected person suddenly suffers heart failure women after menopause are most at risk. elizabeth pompilia almost died a broken heart syndrome a year ago she lost her partner his death brought back memories of a terrible accident 20 years earlier. after an hour and 3 hit in 1998 an airplane went down in halifax my thought that by my daughter was working as a flight attendant on that plane it was a terrible shock this comes so it was so sudden. before i had to keep going because my husband was totally devastated. that our daughter was gone so i had to be very strong stock citing shortly after the death of her daughter her husband passed away due to cancer and when elizabeth's new partner died a year ago her heart finally broke kept in mind i don't particularly care i loved

my daughter i loved my husband and i love my partner and then i lost all 3 i think after me i'm not the only person in the world who's lost someone but then you have to try to cope with me again. but her heart was unable to cope when she was admitted to hospital her doctors thought she was having a heart attack. but the test results came as a surprise elizabeth's coronary arteries were not blocked her heart had stopped working normally for a different reason broken heart syndrome. yes i think that's kind of my the disease causes a kind of cardiomyopathy the heart muscle doesn't work the way it should. as a result the heart no longer pumps enough blood into the body. to present

a form this is broken heart syndrome is a disease where emotions positive or negative emotions 1st arise in the head and then affect the heart we don't know exactly why we believe that there's a stress response that originates in the brain and then affects the heart it's calmed down and this probably triggers some kind of micro circulation disorder which then causes this characteristic ventricular dysfunction shine just. today elizabeth heart is functioning normally again and she's even found a new love. beneath you now you don't mind my partner and i are at an age where we both know that something could happen to either one of us at any moment a few packets of perfume can but we tell ourselves to enjoy life. if i don't ask myself what will happen tomorrow or the day after it's no use thinking

you have to live life and enjoy each day as it comes. to anything other. than the daily grind often puts love to the test. arguments and complaints replace desire and tenderness. always the same old fights over the same old things. to hide and. in seattle a team of researchers are investigating such conflicts at the god one institute's love lab carrie cole helps couples to better manage their disagreements. the psychologist has helped hundreds of couples and remains convinced that love can last a lifetime. absolutely my parents were married for 58 and a half years and my father died and he was her knight in shining armor and she was

his princes that's the way it always was so i do believe in that. i do believe that it's important the way that we speak to people and treat people is very important. lori and jeff have been together for more than 20 years for me but they feel that the deep love and passion they once shared has started to fade i'd like to tell you about it. for the next 8 hours kerry call will observe laurie and jeff's interactions. with laurie and jeff are being wired up and then they'll have a conversation about a topic that tends to result in a conflict electrodes will record how strongly they react to each other how angry they become how stressed they feel. carrie listens and observes. she'll use the data to analyze the argument and compare it to what she could see in the couple's

they shal expressions. she's looking for signs of annoyance and contempt. handling disagreements in a healthy way is a challenge for all couples. i don't know why i'm digging my heels in here but i'm digging my he has a man and jeff you sad i can't remember what we were fighting about it was probably nothing and you're absolutely right because couples fight about nothing but underneath that nothing was a real important something for each one of us and that's what we need to get to you . are you going to load up with me often the actual topic of disagreement is less important than how the couple handles conflicts. couples in distress tend to display what carrie cole calls the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse criticism defensiveness stonewalling and contempt. when i see any of the

4 horsemen those are the 4 killers of a relationship if there's no intervention. in those situations those couples likely won't make it so contempt is the fear gasted for relationships so that's the deadliest of them all and when i see that it's a really bad sign you know it and somebody is talking in someone's contemptuous of them they might call themselves from rolling their eyes but they'll still go. and there are some people who are just highly contemptuous in their faces or kind of set that way. laurie and jeff watch the video of their argument and identify a few of the 4 horsemen. 75

percent of the time or more that we are going to be missing each other we're going to be crumby we're going to be tired and we're not the master of our emotions in those particular moments in time that just means we need to repair we need to be saying i'm sorry that came out wrong or i need a break or i'm feeling crumby right now. for laurie and jeff this is just the start of their therapy but the 1st day has given them hope that not all is lost it helps me feel more in some ways that flicker of a connection comes back. when we talk about it it does peel away some of the layers that have built up over it it's of just feeling bogged down in weary and sometimes . it's going to have a little help thinking through how you can stay close be it be a team. partner. however many relationships

simply suffer from not enough sex erotic attraction generally decreases during the 1st 5 years this is completely normal but if the sexual desire for a partner disappears completely then often love disappears to. mention i often see people who complain about too little sex if you're too much or that their sex life just isn't fulfilling for them it's all of that's possible and what's right is different for every individual and every couple once a month might be enough or once a week or 3 times a week and of a whole the timing of a. love can exist without lust but most couples would like to keep the passion of the early days alive. for sexual therapists there's a simple reason to keep the fire burning nothing releases as much oxytocin as sex

with your partner. sex unity touch the treatise put in sexuality has the potential to evoke incredibly intense emotions and feelings and both men and women fall and this is not true of course this varies greatly from person to person but when a couple has sex it strengthens their bond and is a motional rewarding kinds of. experience pleasure closeness and emotional support and the tulle tied to hook it all. oxytocin not only makes couples behave more lovingly towards each other it can also improve their sex life. conducted a study in which she gave couples oxytocin. couldn't view of us oxytocin can make a difference but it doesn't trigger sexual desire. unveiled for the couples in our

study said that it affected the quality of their sexual interaction it was more intense a little more intimate. but they didn't say that they suddenly experienced more sexual pleasure. it's certainly not a love drug. perhaps nature didn't intend for us humans to live together as couples for all of our lives but only until our offspring were grown. today however we want to make love last forever. maybe one day this will become easier thanks to a pill that can keep blossoming. brian is a bioethicist who wonders whether it would be right to give the pill to help those

who want to reawaken their love. the more we learn about the neurochemistry of love the more we'll have the opportunity to intervene in that chemistry and no one had really made that point before if we understand the systems with biotechnology in the future anyway we might be able to actually modify the systems and then we'll have something like real life love drugs and we'll have to decide the ethical implications of that. brian thinks that at times such a pill could work wonders when we touch our partner we have a massage or we kiss or we hug or we have an orgasm these are things that radically boost our oxytocin levels from the inside but some people have a hard time with touching their relationship for example maybe they don't find it naturally easy to have the sorts of experiences that would allow oxytocin to release naturally well then you might think maybe an artificial supplement of oxytocin could help people in this kind of situation. whether with medication or

without the question of how to make love last we'll keep love researchers busy for some time to come. but one thing is certain love is precious we have to handle it with care and breeds new life into it every day. soon even loving is vital and it's something beautiful and quite individual when it comes interviewed. both 1st it's romance and then it's fun ok so you have to do things to keep your amounts alive and exciting because you know when we can live without love but life is better with it.

to help india. protecting species conquer the man in search of puerto rican for delicious courier ground urban farmers are preventing the use spices from being caught in. the desert as farmland possible or to focus on a single drop of water is wasted and there in land quickly turned street. off to w. . in good shape. that. how we'd all like to beat.

them you be truly fit. and how can you state truly healthy. right up into your golden years. and truly have fun while doing it in good shape. 30 minutes on w. . my smile is most. likely. to not even she painted me. am.

i that's nice food those who look at me. my on say. i am i'm so over the bridge and. the secret of the sun starts to my 3rd day w. . this is day w. news and these are our top stories german politicians are feeling the heat after the country's 19 infection right suddenly jumped the rise is partly due to a big outbreak at a make protest processing plant all of them 1300 cases have been confirmed at the facility.