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it gives us comfort and chances and makes us into merge and become one with another person. off. our full emotions perhaps even the most powerful of all. people stupids not his happiness sorrow jealousy sexual desire the kind of log that we humans experience it doesn't exist in the same way. it's very interesting to investigate why love in this intensity only develops in humans hate and mentions the inchon. i think it's important not to preserve the word for romantic relationships but to see how it plays out every day. interaction people think of love as

a very passive experience you just fall into love or you fall out of love and in a way that's very mature and irresponsible because if you're trying to make a partnership work with someone you want to understand a little bit about how love works. that's exactly what scientists around the world want to find out what exactly is love what happens in our hearts and brains and how can you make love last a lifetime. but love is a basic need as babies we experience it for the 1st time parental love is instinctual and unconditional.

in the best case scenarios mothers and fathers loved everything about their babies the way they look the way they smell the sounds they make. for a mother being close to her child can eclipse all other needs this is biologically preprogramed because human babies cannot survive without parental care. for them parental love is as important as food and drink. beers baby while. the american psychologist terry harlow proved this in the 1950 s. with controversial experiments in which he separated baby monkeys from their mothers will take the baby monkey out put in a wire. harlow wanted to prove the importance of caregiving and companionship the monkeys were for. dead from a bottle of milk hanging from

a wire mother a 2nd mother had a face and a fur coat but no milk the monkeys briefly went to the milk mother to drink but spent the rest of their time with their cuddly for a mother the monkeys that grew up in isolation later showed signs of severe psychological distress. these experiments demonstrated for the 1st time how vital love companionship and nurturing are for infants. researchers today employ less cruel techniques to find out how important love is for babies for example by analyzing their saliva when a child feel stressed or anxious the stress hormone cortisol can be found in its saliva. joan and her mother here are taking part in a so-called still face test in which the mother is not allowed to show her child any affection for 2 minutes. it's come

just now comes the still face the mother turns away and the child suddenly notices that the mother is no longer responding his mouth can be argued that food and this can be a stressor for the baby so now we'll analyze how the child responds. and he gets damaged. and we can see that the child feels that too much time has passed without a response and she's not happy about it. and the more time when the mother is responsive to her baby's emotions then the child knows if i'm sad if i'm angry my mother will be there for me and there are studies that show that there are links between this early mother child interaction

and the capacity to bond in later life and act one on have been. on the. so our experience of love during early infancy shapes our ability to form meaningful relationships later in life. but there are some mothers who cannot feel love for their babies for example because of postpartum depression the researchers want to find out which factors influence the maternal bond by using brain scans to determine the blood flow to the reward center in the mother's brain they can measure maternal love. super when you're ready we'll start the neurofeedback test i'm ready ok lets start . the researchers see the same baby photos as the mother lying in the m.r.i. scanner a gauge shows how strongly the mother's reward center is activated the mother sees

it too which allows her to assess the strength of her maternal bond this process is called neurofeedback. he was assuring us that we are here we can see that she's able to regulate her emotions and bring them into the green zone so she's a mother with a strong bond. but for a mother with a weak bond this is hard. that's where we can use neurofeedback to train brain functions that are hypoactive meaning not active enough and give them a boost in the tivo built. using the power of her brain the mother learns how to enhance the parent child bond and gets immediate feedback. it's a way to practice love. cd if she exercises her brain like a muscle over time this behavior becomes automatic maybe the next time she sees a picture of her baby she won't need a strategy the bond will kick in instinctively for the lines from stoke on. we can

practice love thanks to the biology of our brains our feelings are regulated by hormones and neurotransmitters it seems we can affect how they're released i'm easy indeed f.b.i. idea that you can influence such a complex process like feelings of attachment and bonding by regulating your psychobiology is something i find extremely fascinating with every guy thought and just enjoy nothing for the us in the end the substance that intrigues scientists like beata ditson is called oxytocin it can be administered as a nasal spray but it's mainly produced by the body itself. oxytocin is a chemical substance produced in the brain. this neural hormone helps create the feeling of love. that's why oxytocin is also called the cuddle chemical. via the bloodstream it carries its

biochemical message throughout the body priming it for affection tenderness and trust. oxytocin was discovered in 1906 as the hormone that triggers labor then scientists realized that it was also involved in lactation breastfeeding. today we know that oxytocin also plays a role in the maternal bond and in caretaking behaviors. scientists say that oxytocin regulates our social interactions and thus ensures the survival of our species the hormone isn't only found in humans but also in other social animals including worms ants and rats. man study in oxytocin in human as a like study enough pandora box but don't know what is go in in the brain of humans

and understand physiological role of folks at us and of course you need models and the best model would be social animals. in these rats the researchers control the release of oxytocin with considerable of facts on the social behavior of the animals. if you similar it accept those they became more. social they interact basically all the time and it sells oxytocin cells release oxytocin. sniffing stroking cuddling researchers still know little about what triggers the release of oxytocin but one thing they do know is that without this hormone rats would be less social. and humans wouldn't fall in love infatuation is like a bio chemical explosion and oxytocin sends lovers hearts racing quite literally

because the heart is particularly susceptible to its effects. recent studies show that it can even produce the hug hormone itself. but love creates even greater chaos in the brain. here it flicks so many biochemical switches that acute infatuation actually resembles a psychotic disorder. when it comes to our brains crazy in love isn't too far from the truth the neurobiologist lucy brown says that love is more than a feeling love is a drive like hunger and thirst and what's more love really does make us blind. it's the front of the brain that is constantly judging other people just as you

walk down the street you see someone coming towards you you may notice their shoes you may notice how they walk is their hair long how unusual are they were constantly engaged in social judgments people who are in the early stages of romantic. when we look at the functional activity shut this part of the brain doubt. you you just don't engage in social drug treatments of the person you're in love with you shut the you shut off that judgment. during infatuation the evolutionarily primitive structures of our brain take over it's here that all these hormones are produced that influence our behavior so profoundly that love can feel out of our control. it may seem irrational for love to switch off common sense but for evolutionary biologist. the craziness of love makes

evolutionarily speaking. from a biological viewpoint it's fairly clear romantic love develop to benefit our offspring think about it even in a group of hunter gatherers it takes $34.00 or 5 years for a child to be able to keep up with the group. this time the men have to provide shelter and food and sell. lots of and they will only do that if they have an emotional attachment to both the child and the woman. but why her. why him why are we attracted to some people but not others at 1st it's all about looks in the blink of an eye we scan our potential partner and collect information about their age health mood and social status.

men have an eye for women with symmetrical faces large eyes for lips high foreheads and of course female proportions men usually find young healthy women attractive. in men women look for a strong broad shoulders narrow hips and quite often signs of social status. but in the end the chemistry has to be in sync and that has a lot to do with scent are no is not as easily fooled as our eyes as this test demonstrates. oh yes death of the 2 year. old nephew by the hands of this student couple is taking

part in an experiment everyone brings a t. shirt they wore overnight the test subjects are now offered 5 t. shirts worn by strangers plus that of their partner they have to evaluate which scent they find attractive people can sniff out other people's immune systems and tend to select a mate whose immune genetics are different and complimentary to their own that way nature ensures that offspring have a robust immune system. the study confirmed the assumption that heterosexual women tend to sniff out this genetic difference more easily than men who don't seem to have a nose for it. by man is the thought just in my for a man the genetic parameters don't seem to matter that's not what he bases it on but the typical man likes the smell of his partner because that's a smell that's familiar to him. and interestingly the longer a man is with

a woman the more he likes her smell the fact. commitment and so it's the woman who gets a whiff of whether the man is a good genetic match or not unless she's on the pill. that. there is an older study from 1995 which showed that women who were on the pill assess the genetic compatibility of a man differently from women who aren't on those i spent. in our study confirms this. woman who are on the pill behave similarly to men. in history and man i think this means they don't really care about genetic similarity anymore. however scientists can't say whether hormonal contraception influences a woman's choice of partner. but the 1st kiss does seem to serve as a kind of litmus test studies show that women often say that they could tell by a kiss whether their partner was suitable for

a long term relationship. women seem to be pickier than men perhaps because of the risks associated with pregnancy and child bearing. during kissing the partners instinctively exchange biological messages in a flash our brain has to evaluate vast amount of information how does the other person smell and taste are their lips soft or rough because hard or tender happiness hormones flood the body and through his saliva the man infuses the woman with testosterone which increases her desire sex is a love booster sex hormones reduce anxiety and stress blood pressure and heart rate go up just like during exercise that's why sex is good for the cardiovascular system it might also strengthen the immune system by exposing it to foreign body fluids. in short sex is much more than

just reproduction. what's striking is that humans have sex much more often than they have children around $1000.00 times more often. this of course indicates that sexuality has another purpose and sussman dance a few feet into it gives you a much more intense and intimate knowledge of the other person in the sense of numbers and that it's wrong to share desire to shed pleasure helps cement the relationship you have been monitors not stopping to see it. finding the right partner has been a bit hit and miss over the years but that might be changing. more and more singles are now meeting online rather than at parties in the pub or at work. in the 21st century dating has gone digital.

bianca and marc met online and have been to gether for 14 years. and. at that time bianca was working a lot and didn't have much time for socializing marc was working abroad but wanted to return to germany is right on the help. i was living in hong kong and i found it hard to meet people there. so i opened an account on a german dating site. become a climbing and both of us had just ended a long term relationships and didn't want to repeat the same mistakes side of my relationship it failed because we weren't a good match about things like family children buying a house getting

a job. mark and bianca met each other because of this man who goes. the psychologist believes that 2 things in life should be carefully planned finding the right job and finding the right partner so he developed a vocational aptitude test and a personality test for an online dating site has to be. my original idea was not to identify the ideal partner but to avoid the big mistakes. in life it's often much better to try and avoid mistakes than to look for perfection. the 4th then you might want to avoid based on that principle who developed a partnership test it's a comprehensive computer questionnaire that tries to capture personality traits that play into a good and lasting relationship. you need to know who you are to know what you want

that's what we call a partner profile. and it's mention. it includes more than $100.00 questions about character traits and personal preferences but also includes questions and images that seem odd at 1st for example the question of whether a broken heart affects your appetite. as in this life. food is passion weight loss or gain are related to strong emotional stakes somebody who doesn't lose or gain weight when they're unhappy is not a very passionate person. according to who goes to both partners must be equally passionate otherwise there are poor match but can something as complex as love be predicted like this. whether 2 people hit it off is up to them we're only increasing the chances of that happening. so meeting someone is digital loving is still analog.

the leave is not on the look. mark and bianca exchanged messages for weeks before they met for the 1st time. we met at the hamburg airport i was wearing a really cool glittering gold and silver suit the younger really like that you walked up and kissed me right away that was. of course we've known each other for a long time that was a bit much but ok we knew each other so well already. our character traits at least . i figured if the personal side of things were also a match. if we'd like each other sent and taste and whatnot it was clear to me that we might end up getting married and having children together. but bianca wasn't on

the same page. exactly i wasn't ready yet. i got ahead of things. during those 1st moments i thought this is not really what i had in mind but i went along with it because i knew that our personalities were a match that if that were passed. today mark and bianca are happily married and have 3 children so in their case the algorithm certainly seems to have helped them find a match. scientists are just beginning to study online dating and its impact on love like sexual therapist melanie but now. can land so bill in a disk when i meet someone in a club or at a dinner party with friends i notice a lot of things about that person. i see how they act how they move their facial

expressions to me me how do they speak how do they smell. i perceive them with all of my senses on all channels mentioned maybe even before we talk to each other . and that's what's so different about online dating and that's why we say that online dating profiles reduce 3 dimensional people to 2 dimensional displays of information. somewhat ironically despite the rise of online dating the traditional model of marriage seems to be enjoying a kind of 2nd wind is similar marriage is still in the number of marriages has declined since the 1950 s. but since the turn of the millennium the number has remained constant the number of relationships that end has declined in recent years this means that the long term relationship as an institution as an ideal is still very important to us. but

that's not true for every country in japan for example 21st century lifestyles have given rise to a new trend many japanese women fantasize about the perfect wedding but what they want is the celebration not the spouse that's the idea behind solo weddings a wedding starring only the bride and no one else. let's get a couple more so this is the right time for me now on the writing. on earth i don't want to have to wait to wear a wedding dress i can do it now if i like and it's important to me i don't necessarily have to have a husband it's not like my soul won't rest in peace if i don't end up finding the right partner. studies show that half of all japanese under the age of 30 have never had sex or romantic partnership in japan love has fallen out of favor. maybe that's because

a relationship can become routine this usually happens after about 2 years emotional turmoil turns into tranquillity some couples separate. but others enter a new phase of love support and security become more important than grand passion. love might not be as exciting anymore but it becomes healthier people in functioning relationships are sick less often and eat a more balanced diet although they don't necessarily eat less still studies show that a stable relationship helps protect against cardiovascular disease. touch ups reduce stress and lowers the heart rate and blood pressure. and kissing might

even help with hay fever. once again it's oxytocin that helps account for many of these health benefits administered to couples as a nasal spray oxytocin even helps them argue last met via potter the beating heart of the human we asked couples to argue in the lab and oxytocin actually influenced their behavior the video they behave more positively in these conflicts our latest research focuses on these positive effects. conflicts aren't the only thing that determine the quality of a partnership but we do want to investigate whether this might be used as a kind of intervention. how can our behavior influence our oxytocin levels then perhaps influence things like wound healing or stress level. would out of the stress level dotty mean. in

a recent study scientists investigated whether oxytocin makes wounds heal faster or 1st they inflicted small burns on the forearms of both partners. normally burns like this take a week to heal. so do they heal faster when a loving partner is at your side. and can oxytocin spray speed up healing. one partner receives oxytocin the other a placebo. a week later the result is eye opening the oxytocin spray appears to have made the man being or nurturing towards his partner and her wounds healed more quickly. this might be because oxytocin produces stress levels. the scientists regularly tested the participants saliva for cortisol it's a hormone that our bodies release in response to stress. but oxytocin seems to

interfere with this mechanism you. bust their indian vietnam. what the data shows is that when the study participants took oxytocin their cortisol levels were lower yet in need of the government owned and that could be the reason why oxytocin has an influence on wound healing. so love can actually have healing powers. the biochemical benefits of oxytocin can make our lives not only happier but also healthier. but love can also hurt. the loss of love or the loss of a loved one can cause profound grief and emotional suffering.

heartache can even lead to what is known as broken heart syndrome. and it can even be fatal. the symptoms are similar to heart attack defective person suddenly suffers heart failure women after men a pause are most at risk. elizabeth pompilia almost died of broken heart syndrome a year ago she lost her partner his death brought back memories of a terrible accident 20 years earlier. somebody i don't know and threw him out in 1998 an airplane went down in halifax my thought that by my daughter was working as a flight attendant on that plane it was a terrible shock that's come so it was so sudden. before i had to keep going because my husband was totally devastated. that our daughter was gone so i had to be very strong see a shark sighting. shortly after the death of her daughter her husband passed away

due to cancer and when elizabeth's new partner died a year ago her heart finally broke. up in mine i don't particularly care i loved my daughter i loved my husband and i love my partner and that i lost all 3. i'm not the only person in the world who's lost someone but then you have to try to coax me again. but her heart was unable to cope when she was admitted to hospital her doctors thought she was having a heart attack. but the test results came as a surprise elizabeth's coronary arteries were not blocked her heart had stopped working normally for a different reason broken heart syndrome. yes i think that's kind of my. the disease causes a kind of cardiomyopathy the heart muscle doesn't work the way it should.

as a result the heart no longer pumps enough blood into the body. to put it wasn't home this is broken heart syndrome is a disease where emotions positive or negative emotions 1st arise in the head and then affect the heart we don't know exactly why we believe that there's a stress response that originates in the brain and then affects the heart scorned. and this probably triggers some kind of micro circulation disorder which then causes this characteristic ventricular dysfunction shine list. today and these are the heart is functioning normally again and she's even found a new love. beneath you know you don't mind my partner and i are at an age where we both know that something could happen to either one of us at any moment of iceland a few packets of perfume can but we tell ourselves to enjoy life. if

i don't ask myself what will happen tomorrow or the day after it's no use that think you have to live life and enjoy each day as it comes. want anything i don't. get the daily grind often puts love to the test. arguments and complaints replace desire and tenderness. always the same old fights over the same old things as the. wind. in seattle a team of researchers are investigating such conflicts at the god money institute's love lab carrie cole helps couples to better manage their disagreements. this is. college just has helped hundreds of couples and remains convinced that love can last a lifetime. absolutely my parents were married for

58 and a half years and my father died and he was her knight in shining armor and she was his princes that's the way it always was so i do believe in that. i do believe that it's important the way that we speak to people and treat people is very important. lori and jeff have been together for more than 20 years after that but they feel that the deep love and passion they once shared has started to fade i'd like to tell you about. for the next 8 hours carrie call will observe laurie and just interactions. with laurie and jeff are being wired up and then they'll have a conversation about a topic that tends to result in a conflict electrodes will record how strongly they react to each other how angry they become how stressed they feel kerry listens and observes. she'll use the

data to analyze the argument and compare it to what she could see in the couple's facial expressions. she's looking for signs of annoyance and contempt. handling disagreements in a healthy way is a challenge for all couples. i don't know why i'm i'm digging my heels in here but i'm digging my he was a man and jeff you sad i can't remember what we were fighting about it was probably nothing and you're absolutely right because couples fight about nothing but underneath that nothing was a real important something for each one of us and that's what we need to get to your future. if you get a call you got a coupled up with often the actual topic of disagreement is less important than how the couple handles conflicts. couples in distress tend to display what carrie cole

calls the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse criticism defensiveness stonewalling and contempt. when i see any of the 4 horsemen those are the 4 killers of our relationship if there's no intervention. in those situations those couples likely won't make it so contempt is the fear gasted for a relationship so that's the deadliest of them all and when i see that it's a really bad sign you know it and somebody is talking in someone's contemptuous of them they might call themselves from rolling their eyes but they'll still go. then there are some people who are just highly contemptuous in their faces or kind of set that way. lori and jeff watch the video of their argument and identify a few of the 4 horsemen. in

75 percent of the time or more that we are going to be missing each other we're going to be grumpy we're going to be tired and we're not the master of our emotions in those particular moments in time that just means we need to repair we need to be saying i'm sorry that came out wrong or i need a break or i'm feeling crumby right now. for lori and jeff this is just the start of their therapy but the 1st day has given them hope that not all is lost it helps me feel more in some ways that flicker of a connection comes back when we talk about it it does peel away some of the layers that have built up over it i have just feeling bogged down and weary and sometimes . it's good to have a little help thinking through how you can stay close be it be

a team. partner. however many relationships simply suffer from not enough sex ironic attraction generally decreases during the 1st 5 years this is completely normal but if the sexual desire for a partner disappears completely then often love disappears to. mention i often see people who complain about too little sex or too much or that their sex life just isn't fulfilling for them it's all of that's possible and what's right is different for every individual and every couple. once a month might be enough or once a week or 3 times a week the hold up by men of all. love can exist without lust but most couples would like to keep the passion of the early days alive. for sexual

therapists there's a simple reason to keep the fire burning nothing releases as much oxytocin as sex with your partner. sex with a t. touch the treatise put in sexuality has the potential to evoke incredibly intense emotions and feelings and both men and women fall and this is not true of course this varies greatly from person to person but when a couple has sex it strengthens their bond and is emotionally rewarding just comes on and us with. experience pleasure closeness and emotional support and. be fatah tied to hokkaido. oxytocin not only makes couples behave more lovingly towards each other it can also improve their sex life to mine kluger conducted a study in which she gave couples oxytocin. and couldn't

view of us oxytocin can make a difference but it doesn't trigger sexual desire. to unveil the couples in our study said that it affected the quality of their sexual interaction it was more intense for a little more intimate. but they didn't say that they suddenly experienced more sexual pleasure. it's certainly not a love drug. perhaps nature didn't intend for us humans to live together as couples for all of our lives but only until our offspring were grown. today however we want to make love last forever. maybe one day this will become easier thanks to a pill that can keep the love blossoming.

brian is a bioethicist who wonders whether it would be right to give the pill to couples who want to reawaken their love. the more we learn about the neurochemistry of love the more we'll have the opportunity to intervene in that neurochemistry and no one had really made that point before if we understand the systems with biotechnology in the future anyway we might be able to actually modify the systems and then we'll have something like real life love drugs and we'll have to decide the ethical implications of that. brian thinks that at times such a pill could work wonders when we touch our partner we have a massage or we kiss or we hug or we have an orgasm these are things that radically boost our oxytocin levels from the inside but some people have a hard time with touching their relationship for example maybe they don't find it

naturally easy to have the sorts of experiences that would allow oxytocin to release naturally well then you might think maybe an artificial supplement of oxytocin could help people in this kind of situation. whether with medication or without the question of how to make love last we'll keep love researchers busy for some time to come. but one thing is certain love is precious we have to handle it with care and reads a new life into it every day. so even nothing is final it's something beautiful and quite individual shooters and guns individually. both 1st it's romance and then it's fun ok so you have to do things to keep your own math alive and exciting because when we can live without love but life is better with it

. digital surveillance is usually where. journalists and critics are under threat. as tight censorship or a lot of options this is china during the coronavirus condemning. people hope to return to normal. but is that even possible. closer.

than 30 minutes on d w. hi i'm neal and i'm good looking for the 2nd season on the good. stuff about the environment still about society still about us but all planets on the brink we spoke to several leading experts in the film. to check. look up just a couple of big fans of. mice mindlessness. paint. and claim new

fascination of those who look at me. the secret of the mona lisa starts july 3rd on d w. play . play. play. this is the w. news live from lockdown restrictions are reimposed in an area of germany after a surge in cases at a slaughterhouse in the west of the country nearly 400000 people are affected by the new measures regional leaders say police will use force if locals refuse to comply. also coming up to iran as the country.