what people have to say matters to us. that's why we listen to stories reporter every weekend on t.w. . war why i wasn't there when she died and she was probably all alone in a dark hospital room and then her life was suddenly over. to september goodbye and i was crying because i was thinking where is the humanity where's the dignity in this pushing this patient into this back 30.

4 sailboat it's unbelievable to see your partner lying there was no energy in her body and the d.m.k. . that i thought there's so much i want to do and i have dreams i want to live. smile which is carry on the living need us to move on you can't die along with every patient who doesn't make it through and that's how it is still. a funeral during the cope of 19 pandemic a small group of mourners are keeping their distance there are no hugs no comforting about others just a final memory. my dad had. the fall on christmas eve at night and he broke his

leg and was taken to hospital by the emergency doctor are they tested him and he was positive for city. on dying so he was put on the covert unit. and then things got really hard up to us accessory of each. offered rob died 11 days later without his family being able to see or speak to him again. he had been married for 64 years had children and grandchildren a family man alone in a hospital room in 4 times as his life ended. up for so i tried to talk to the nurses to a doctor but they kept saying oh it's a holiday there's no one here someone will be in touch it was really difficult so i thought ok and the next day i called and kept calling then suddenly i got a call from my brother that the hospital had called him to say that our dad had

died. but if i feel guilty because i should have just done it for the family but i didn't manage to reach them and i keep picturing him all alone in his room. i was being too trusting too considerate to nice whenever i called they'd say there's a staff changeover but there's no doctor here right now at 6 i'd say no problem i'll call back that was the problem i should have been more assertive that now it's too late. we only die our own death wants what we experienced out of our loved ones over and over the feelings of guilt and helplessness have all grown during this pandemic. is the minimum sentence i says a lot of people are experiencing these feelings of guilt. and i try to free them of these feelings. to encourage them to look at what they heard

when the person was a life of the relationship they had to not to put so much emphasis on those final days that it's hot. those final days are too much schneider's daily work he runs an intensive care unit in simpson bird in southern brandenburg one of germany's covert 1000 hotspot here he needs to take a few deep breaths breathing is the involuntary process that keeps us all alive he has lost many patients the pandemic overwhelmed everyone here including him. what thought we talk about death rates death statistics or see enough 1000 deaths a day. but even i can put it in perspective yes in a 24 hour shift i witness 10 deaths that is my reality here that is what is really happening here what's real. but we can't transport this reality to people outside

just by quoting numbers from. the house of cards take it day break and then out of this might feel cold this silly little mistrust is the most difficult thing for me what has really changed is that we go to the patients fully covered in protective clothing to accompany them as they die because we can't really touch them there's no skin contact or holding their hand or let really miss that i would never have expected it. so-called sugar to. not just milk. said in a pink can't count how many people she has seen die. death graphic. death the coffee is hot ok ya. know the clinic has been pushed to the limit for months when our relatives are not allowed to come close to the highly contagious patients even if it is the last chance to see them before

they die work. to give my best as nurses we do our best to stand in for the relatives but what's missing is a few personal words what we can't do that because we haven't known the patients for years or in some of the relatives tell their patients that it's ok for them to go. we can say that too but of course the patients feel the difference when we say it when their relatives say it it really tells them they collect go to last and it's. up to now the team has had to keep functioning in an emergency situation and no one knows how much longer it will last it's an extreme experience which has brought the team closer together. many of the emotions which had to break out erupted here in the unit that sort of it was something we had never experienced before as i think every member of staff

here has broken down and cried in the corridor or at least once a violent hot. for selena pink too there was a moment in the pandemic that changed everything for her. one spot as i asked the pups and it was the 1st patient who died who i had to put into a body bag. because. that was really. awful for me to miss a step that i was crawling because i was thinking where is the humanity in this where is the dignity of this putting the patient into this bag is it so they just thought it was a feeling where i thought no this is not why i came in some time it was too close to the. not always being able to save people's lives is not unusual for doctors and nurses it is part of everyday

life in the intensive care unit but the coronavirus has opened a new dimension does it to it so it was thought there was this situation where you had to think about calling relatives 10 times within 24 hours to tell them that somebody had died it's. so important writing attend death certificates it's going to they all have the same diagnosis or. want the same on the 8th or 9th call to the family you start to doubt your ability to deliver the news with the kind of empathy you'd like to have supreme be with us governor. benson's work involves trying to see daylight in dark times as a funeral director grief therapist she prioritizes self-determined dying and grieving she worries about how dying has changed with the coronavirus. ending is this above all death has become much lonely and i think that's what hurts

people the most not just those who are dying but also they left once that they can't say goodbye because they can't have physical contact that the visiting rules are so strict that making dying even more difficult at zahra bends has a video blog about death and mourning for which she produces films which she calls coffin stories. she says her aim is to build bridges. as a minister when i get the news that someone is dying then it 1st it's just something in my head from the way from my head to my heart is so much longer than just the distance between my hands it can be very helpful and comforting to really feel it to grow. but to really grasp it you have to be close by which the rooms of the pandemic do not allow.

in berlin. experience that 1st hand when the virus claimed his mother's life. i took 4 weeks off from everything i was written off sick and then i just spent 4 weeks grieving lost in my thoughts. i thought about my mom and about the finite nature of life and this. is why i'm still but i wasn't there when she die. she was probably all alone in a dark hospital room and then her life was suddenly over that's not how anyone wants to leave this world and this lives with us and. i kept thinking how could she have caught the virus and she never left the care home she was in her wheelchair or in bed she was always on the same for help and i

thought what if she caught it from me i had these thoughts what if i in fact that her faith again with i always went really close to her although i was wearing a mask and when i put my hand in front of my mouth and talked to her as best i could i'd never be able to forgive myself i couldn't. play paul never displayed any covert 19 symptoms but back then he was never tested the possibility of being responsible for his mother's death still haunts him as does the thought of her lonely and anonymous death just a statistic in the pandemic his mother. she died on october 31st and on the 1st of november i heard the statistics. i don't recall the numbers exactly but at the end there was a one and i thought that number one of the end that's my mom.

he wasn't allowed into the hospital where she died so he couldn't be at her side he could only say goodbye to her grief. i decided to write her a letter and i put the letter into were great for me that was a ritual a way of saying goodbye. now he visits her grave regularly. but i haven't processed my grief yet it's been snowing for me it's all very new for me and it was taking a long time. i come here once a week even if it's only for 10 minutes or so and from if i think the cemetery here is beautiful and i live nearby i often go shopping in the market hall nearby and i think this is the right place for her stylist i can wave at her when i go past.

here in this care how. much gift in southern germany people have not process their grief either normally it's an open care home but today its core doors are deserted 17 residents died at the start of the pandemic on you laura and her husband were infected he did not survive the building you know this is. all happened so fast suck all of a sudden he was gone i couldn't do anything about it and it's a big mark and i couldn't really say goodbye to him he'd already been moved on and then a nurse called. me and told me that he was on a ventilator but he didn't want to go and what did i think of that or this nation so i said well if he's fighting it then he doesn't want it we're all finished. you know. 50 years abruptly ended without comfort without consolation without

human contact us if i didn't like it but it's not in our hands or why. no one was allowed to enter or leave the home presidential unit one was turned into an isolation ward too many patients were infected the bed vacated by one of yours husband was needed again immediately contact say he saw that's really how it happened the husband died in hospital and i had to tell the news of his death after it most and that same afternoon we had to move 3 of the residents to. basically on the isolation ward fully packed it was a truly awful moment i just want guns guns surely moment. for weeks on end the people in the home and to find a way to manage between functioning and grieving. that involve the we

weren't expecting it at all want to hide it was in our residential unity and it hit us like a tornado talaga sock it's my yeah we were powerless to stop it i did mock it was we had all the protective measures we followed all the rules but still so many of our residents caught it had so were so many deaths it was very hard for us this last 4 months yeah sure hop back. no one was expecting this young woman's death either she had no underlying health conditions the funeral took place among her closest family members but it was just a click away which is how she would have wanted it. return your karma a young influencer from hamburg lived in and for social networks she addressed her last public words full of hope to her fans and followers. whoever is with me

knows no grief whoever knows me can only laugh and forget their troubles at least for a short while with god's help i will get through there's. almost 2 weeks later britannia died of covert 19 she was just 29 her life was snatched from her says her fiance a man who they had plans they wanted to celebrate their wedding they had their lives ahead of them. let's unleash enough come the season at the end when i got the news that she hadn't made it off that i was allowed to go and see her to say goodbye. another says is it leash. on 1st day of it's really unbelievable to see your partner lying or know with no energy in her body. and the gear. on fire i wouldn't

wish their own anyone. man who wishes he could have held her hand once more when she was still alive that he could have been by her side now he has friends and his faith to give him strength in his time of grief or feel for beaton pray for shows. together. to put in every free minute we find if we pray for her. and for us that we will stay side. but she's still with us in all forms and that makes the loss a little easier for us to pay. for. the patients admitted to the covert intensive care unit in this stuttgart hospital are getting younger we were often here in the 1st wave when most of the patients were over 80 but now many are around 65 and often have spent weeks here what. i show you just has the units nursing

staff at the moment her patients can only sense the empathy she feels for them. all this had recently a patient said to me she must you know you do so much for me this that if i met you on the street i wouldn't recognize you she would see mr prentice it upsets me that i wouldn't recognize you would i wouldn't even be able to thank you because i can see your face shopper privacy so even now imagine how that is for the patient they have to trust you although they can't see your face but often i should knows nothing about her patients either because they are in a coma and their relatives are not allowed to visit them elizabeth has been here since mid december after weeks in a coma she is finding her way back to life likely my colleague will open up the speaking valve here and then you can communicate with us because come on it's we are getting you know it's hard to know hello everyone. in her hearing her

speak means a lot to her family was there you know it's always seems easier and fun and they've been there for me since the beginning. but no one is allowed to come in. otherwise they'd be a hit every day that said see right here oh yes it does i was have you been able to talk with your family you know yes we've already spoken on the phone i can do that clownish how was it should lovely really really lovely. and i bond to be back with them soon she did. you know. so it's patients like elisa baker to give i sure hope this fandom make has been the biggest challenge of her professional life the 49 year old is a marathon runner so she's used to the long home but her view of life has changed.

quite a bit so that makes you really pensive for that oh you are aware of how fragile it is humans are very fragile but you do all you can instill you lose the flies or. the cold death is a part of life then we just carry on smile live for fight on and leave the living need us to us who can't die along with everything and who doesn't make it too that's how it is still. while we were following i shared were a 63 year old died on the 18 bed unit i sure had to admit it her a few days earlier still optimistic about beating the virus. family counselor klaas has invited the relatives to bid farewell. we'll ask him if death is a lonely one. here is this just the process we don't know what the patients

are really aware of we just don't know and they get medication to calm them down to stop the pain and the breathing difficulties. are so bizarre we say that this shuts down their sense of what's around them. there is often what we don't know what they really feel most vocal at this day for the maybe they sense something on a higher level than we know ones so i really don't know if it's lonely or as i just . amid all the darkness hospital chaplain chef on pfeiffer has to give the people comfort and support he finds it in his face. but the 57 year old knows that's not true of everyone some cases have affected him especially deeply. it's been for him. i was called into the intensive care units before christmas by a young woman 35 years old and seriously ill with coziest said start a company covert more. similar to him see she wanted to have

a blessing to how has always entering her room the woman still had her phone in hand she was just saying goodbye to her husband she knew she was about to be sedated because she would be put on a ventilator and would no longer be conscious she didn't know whether she would survive it was autumn is. or start on the on top this i stood next to her and heard the telephone call to us it was heartbreaking because normally. much of what i've heard into the prayer and gave the blessings of both her and her husband live and the tears were rolling down her face and slade as he then it all went very fast she was sedated and put on a ventilator it was very affects him when. the patient survived but as a cleric confined for knows how important farewells are for the grieving process it's an issue which occupies him a lot currently not everyone is willing to go through with this pain at the end

it's me i also hear some people say my mother is dying can you come and give her a last right thing and then i say please come and say goodbye to her minnie and i say no i can't do that because of the coronavirus of that i feel they sometimes use it as an excuse that worries me because i wonder how they will grieve afterwards if they've missed this child it's really important to say goodbye to the person you love someone who's had such an impact on your life it's a name and. stephon goal survived coated but only just now he's fighting for every breath in physio therapy after $108.00 days in the i.c.u. in a clinic in munich his money is seriously damaged. what is if i go into a minute and you really feel your limits it's a huge problem just to climb the stairs and afterwards i feel like i have to read them more air than can possibly fit into my bloodstream because all these

interfaces have been badly damaged by the virus it was going through the shittiest . would do nothing to take them recently they did a c.t. scan and the radiologist said your lung doesn't look good there are some parts missing or holes as he put it and that i should think about getting a transplant. stefan goal is still haunted by his coma dreams his late mother but also strangers appeared to him in that world between my life and death. which does it i saw myself on the wire. there was no t.v. but i saw what they were doing to me with about a 10 minute time delay and i thought to myself if you can still see this then you're not dead yet you can see what they're doing to you your mom. the 64 year old's life is not like it was before his illness his lungs kidneys and heart have

all suffered damage he was in an artificial coma for over 2 months and underwent 3 into the nation's pollution we don't give up because when i woke up out of my coma doctors and nurses came from all over to see me they were glad i was alive so. if i feel a great sense of belonging to this country because they really look after the people who live here all i can say is it's brilliant if i were in england or america i'd probably be either dead or totally broke by now. patients like stefan gold who survived the virus are a ray of hope for hospital staff it helps to see that their work is worthwhile in spite of all the deaths. and all of. a low dr. thanks for everything great to see you supa i'm feeling much better. it's wonderful to see you standing here in front of us without any kind of help. the rest will

follow 2 there is still dynamic yes there is still dynamic left. 76 days in a coma was he afraid of dying. no. good i thought there's so much i still want to do i still have dreams i want to live up to though i never thought that i'd give up i wanted to see my children grow up and i have other dreams. fungal made it look so far nearly 80000 other people in germany didn't so many goodbyes in times of social distancing what can really do if they're not all out to go. and see the deceased is our advance has produced a video reconstructing scenes with a friend. and i would encourage everyone to ask the nurses to take a cut off a lock of hair or take a fingerprint and you can do that with an end pad and a sheet of paper it doesn't take too much time i.

was. that way you have something to look at something to touch to feel that someone's diabetes. thinks it's time for us to deal more openly with death. as is ms what i really wish is that along with all the tragedy the pandemic has brought us maybe we can spot a few opportunities for instance to charles to ask how we want to say goodbye what is important what maybe we should bring the deceased a little closer to us because we realize now how important it is to say goodbye with all of our senses that it's time for a discussion about this that's what i wish. the pandemic as an

opportunity to talk about the end of life coburg 19 has changed how we die and it will leave its mark for a long time to come. play . play. play. play play. pick up.

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blame blame blame blame blame blame blame blame blame blame blame blame. blame. as news life for lead to tensions run high in the us city of minneapolis after another block that is shot dead by police should be on . who fired says that they confused their guns with a taser a nighttime curfew fails to keep a lid on protests as president joe biden appeals for calm. also coming up to world leaders condemn a buildup of russian troops along the border with ukraine it's feared that a 7 year conflict between the 2 nations could flare up again.