feel that they all i identifies as different janda and then they can actually physically transition and so on and so on. so when i saw her, it was like someone telling me woot isn't flat, you know, i can really real eureka moment in my life. and i think back then that the, the thinking was very much the if you avoid it feels abigail. he shouldn't want to climb trees and get dirty and tenure fight pilot or racing, cartwright. he should be playing with those and, and so on and so on. and i, i just wasn't that kind of kid. why no, he was about 89 years old. i had a friend called hamish and his dad used to race, not professionally, but um, you know, very competitively at club level. and he said, yeah, you know, we're going racing if you'd come, i'd never actually been to racetrack and especially being in the paddock with all

the cause. being surrounded by, by of these causes very here is a very kind of intoxicating smell. being in the environment. you know the caster lauren and just to the noise and do some thing about it. they just yeah, just let a real spark of enthusiasm in me. and then my brother and i went to the amazon for 3 years running 200123. the 3 is that bentley competed and eventually won. and that was yeah, i mean that was like nothing i'd ever seen. i said, year less diverse. see, i made up my mind, this is it. i'm going to 20 some, some racing myself with this persia to fife was like a half finished project at ro cage had a 16 bow van jane. but that was,

it was light at 4 wheels at night. doors on a, it was a like with everything was stripped out of it, but it was something i could afford. a 1st thing i did out, she was a sprint, a cobra. but nonetheless, i was there. i was can be saying during my to sport onto my own stay. and that was a great feeling ah, coming in stop period. that's when i started to struggle. very struggle with my my gender identity and i wake up in the morning and see myself in the mirror and i just realized, yeah, i don't, i don't even have any connection with the person staring back at me anymore. at nothing in my life really matter to me any more cuz it's a slight will was the point living you're not living with you. i figured out how it's gonna take my life. and i

could like, you know, i was at a point where i just couldn't even function. you know, i could barely get through the day. i slept breaking down. um and i thought to myself, this is this wrong. i can't do this. and that was january 2012 that i, i decided, okay, this is it, i'm going to transition a se transition was the thing that i wanted most in my life. and yet at the same time it was the scariest thing could imagine. it was this, you know, it was like this huge mountain. the i was terrified of confronting. and i think it might sport and i just thought no one's going. sat me in that space. i'd never seen any l t b teacher, pos visibility. and because that was such a happy place for me, i couldn't baby i dares that being turned around and being space where i didn't

feel welcome and i felt rejected. and so i just thought, well, i'd just give up. you know, i don't, i don't want to do this anymore. mm hm. charlie's family and friends convinced her not to give up and racing 9 months into her medical transition, which involved hormones, placement, had to be and surgery. she had done to a race track for the 1st time. working with platters was like scary thing can imagine. i had sat in my car, remember, sat my car in the car park to thinking will i'd have to do this. it does go home. no one f nice. fortunately. 7 or 8 of my close friends i raced with came over so many and i can be because, you know, there were like, equally about racing next year when get see the love i felt my gesture was a really profound thing. it made a massive impact. in fact,

they hadn't done that. i wouldn't go back the next year, 2 years into a transition, charlie began attacking her motorsport goals with renewed vigor and a new found confidence. things began looking up in her area. i pans for probably the hardest part of that experience, and i starting to find confidence and self belief that i'd never 9 and my whole life. and i think that had a huge impact. no, just on racing, but on so many levels on just how you think in function. i think a big part of me was kind of locked up inside. like living in denial. what is living in denial. it's using physical energy to suppress a major part of your personality. a really intrinsic part of who you are as

a person. when you do that, you're using physical entities. it's tiring. it's mentally keegan. it's like having a computer said it's really old and slow and you install a new operating system and it boots up and it's like from let's go. good. you in a day where you like us, that's what it felt like to me. i went to gone, i did it around to the french heal climb championship and i one by 3 seconds. and i broke clos record by 2 seconds or something, which is how client terms is like a lot. i mean, i just, whether, when it's, it's gonna have experience and have you, wilma surprise, me included like, where did that come from? charlie's since may a japanese progress switching to focusing and racking up podiums and a variety of cds. she even tied up would be m w,

and made history as the 1st trans competitor at the no buggering $24.00 finishing forth in class. but her burning ambition is to become the 1st transit thing. driver at the 24 hours of lamar said 2017 was my last year hill climbing and at the end of that year there was a within the, within the team structure, there was the opportunity to do an endurance race. in that call, i looked the callan derek. if i did, but it's the one race. and i looked i know one word that popped out on me. the mon november 2017 thought. wow. 3 or endurance race in a prototype at the barn. of course, not the 24 hour cost is the beauty circuit. but nonetheless i never threw in my wife streams that i could stand on the podium at the more and

not just not just me, but real me. and i just remember thinking it is, you know, if i can, if i can do this, i can get this fall. then that's like her. it's like a sign. it's like, and i him, it's like you've got a coin. you gotta keep going and try make this happen, and race at 24 hours long for real. whether i got on the podium or not as another thing, in addition to her using ambitions which includes competing in the 2022 lamborghini, supernatural feel cds. charlie is an l g, b t q plus activist. she uses her platform to fight for diversity and more dis, board and the word in this life i want to help other people find the happiness that i found. and i also want other people to understand the role they can play and facilitating more inclusive environments where everybody

can be the true authentic self. people like charlie being in the media and just doing their thing in itself is just incredibly powerful because it shows people that you can actually, you can achieve anything despite all the obstacles they have to go through. i think, you know, be racing drivers is difficult enough, let alone being a woman and being trans on top of that as well. so i know it's a very male dominated industry. so charlie's got a lot of things almost against. oh, so it's something that really makes charlie special when you brave you, you take risks. sometimes it doesn't go to where you want, but, but more often than not you, you like i cook a foster rela corner, i can, i can take that, that corner in 4th gear. i can't acquire 50 you, you just continually push the boundaries, push your own limits of what's comfortable with what's achievable and before long

you have built courage. you built resilience, you build something very yeah. very real inside. i think 70 actually pretty surprised. i think 7 year charlie was pretty happy cuz i never imagined that things would be the way they are now. so i think i feel like i've had to wait a little time. i didn't quite patient at the system, but i think even side right now as like a good time. so yeah, i think 7, your b would be be pretty happy. places get me a big part of it is believing and possibility. yeah. if you believe something is possible, you, you give it a guy, you give the 100 percent rather than talk yourself out of it. say, i always said this is impossible. i can't do this. this isn't for me. so suddenly

you flip that around and you think, okay, but it is possible and i and i just prove and i can do that. well, what else can i do not keep looking ahead and always believe in the future, which is where we'll see you next time. on rev ah, with

the rear natural spectacle in an improved world the mass movies in return to the cost of the remote riley of say a many success stories from

a bastion of bio diversity in 15 minutes on d. w with a has no limit. love is for everybody as life ah, love matters and that's my new podcast. i'm evelyn sharma. and i really think we need to talk about all the topics that more survive and denied that. and this i have invited many deer and well known guests. and i would like to invite you to an end. it's not a question of whether the next crisis will come,

but only when and how the media will deal with it. how can we stay focused on what is important? shaping tomorrow now exploring opportunities for media professionals in times of crisis. the global media for june 2020 to get your ticket. now. i'm just kinda, i think that's hard and in the end it's a me, you are not a lot of to you anymore. we will send you back. are you familiar with this reliance? what's your story. ready ready he wasn't, i was women, especially and victims of violence in take part and send us your story. we are trying always to understand this new culture. so you are not a visitor,

not against you want to become a citizen info, migrants your platform for reliable information. ah ah, this is dw news live from berlin, russia increases shelling and rocket attacks on frontline cities in ukraine. colin's president tells ukrainian parliament that russian forces must withdraw completely and he says giving into aggression would damage democracy around the world.