it's evelyn sharma. welcome to my podcast, love the matter that i advise celebrities influences and experts to talk about all plain loved beg, from dating, and india today. nothing less of all these things and more in the new season of the pot. come make sure it's, it's you and then wherever you get your podcast and join the conversation because you know it love matters. ah hello and welcome to the 77 percent. my name is edith kimani and i'm coming to you from the heart of ne ruby in the special edition of the 77 percent. we're going to talk about love relationships and of course, hot break. we'll find out what attracts people to each other, to ignite that special spark. ah,

we'll hear how fuck says like money and power planes relationship with and we'll meet the designer who wants people to express themselves. no matter of their sexual orientation. ah. so we know that money can complicate things in a partnership like when love or sex i used as an exchange for money. we're talking here of course, about sponsors bless us or sugar mommy and daddy. so we want to stick a closer look at the blessed a blessed the culture, specifically in south africa. and some young women opened up to us about the experience i shot wanting though this next report discusses dependency relationships and sexual violence. ah ah, when she started her studies 23 year old and a plunder and tumble from some widow, was struck by the expensive looks clothing and excess of shopping. her fellow

classmates enjoying her friends was so cold. lee queens who depend on rich men to maintain that lifestyle. they introduced her to her own bless of a wealthy married man who was more than 20 years. her senior he was c, i'm his clean will begin to live shooting the re prophy know her. but the gifts did not come for free and humble, soon discovered that she needs to perform sexual faded. this is when she started having 2nd thought, you know, like doing really want is kind of just felt like i was be invited into, sorry, but type of prostitution. but then now i have to make do with whatever just come by

just because of the fact that she wants his life, that you want you want last life lavish, luxurious a soft allies or the struggle to survive in a society where money and how a concentrated in the hands of men tumble is not a lie. some men even believe money gives them the right to control a woman's freedom. 46 road modular villa kazi has 3 mistresses. he does not allow them to work, leave the house without his permission or earn his cellphone woman easily. 1010. so we need to control them. they need to be in your finger tips. as we like for, for me, i was really hard. i went to school so they can have money. i can have power, i can control them, that his behavior might entirely undermine his girlfriend's. right to self determination seems a little concerned to be causey. both he and his friend claim to pay the

girlfriends around 400 years each. for cbo mac longo, this is pure business. i mean that's the whole point. so we know what we, what we do is we take care of women. then they, what do we get into tennis love, that's all. that's all. nothing else. so your insight move yes, sex and being taken care of to someone making you feel special. in a recent south african health survey, one in 10 young women reported to have had transactions. this is a massive problem. it says also jackie. pamela say we meet the ortho in an up market hotel in johannesburg. but what say is well known for her book, which spills the beans on the blessing and bless the culture, the more se, experienced the fluid borders between transactional sex and human trafficking. i've read one of you one or 2

with this hotel, l, u b, a. you were listed as lima. i remember all the things that are written with on as a young girl. she ran away from a violent time and became involved with a very wealthy man, a few months into their relationship. he took her on a private yacht with politicians, business men, and their mistresses, being trapped in the middle of the ocean, she had no choice but to enjoy being raped multiple times. you can be cheated like this. in a heartbeat, if the minister wants to buy you, they'll buy you regardless of who you baiting in the group. so even if you're dating the wall, yes, the man in the group, he can trade you of a business deal because the ministers, after 4 traumatizing years, a mont saint managed to escape the grasps of have lesser. she fled abroad, wishing,

wrote a book about her experiences, a warning that the world of glamour that we see on our phones and internet platforms is sometimes far from the actual truth. social media give us an invasion of fiction comfort and luxury expected. and people hopeful that lucius and you don't even know that just to get ahead there. got this drink in front of us. what are the maybe other things did you have to do? just for that one? it me back in. so wet ovula cause he meets his girlfriend will be late tomorrow. he wants to buy her a new hand bag, which is nice. but zima is not early enough for the luxuries she has a baby and needs the money to buy basic necessities to pay rent. and she is well aware of the dependency she finds herself in bed as bianco. we have to sleep it all the guys and pretend is if you all are okay with everything just

because of minute because i round here chances of sobs and you don't, we are 0 percentages of getting age, all right, on hit anything and everything to good idea of how you either that fit in time in place with a post curve it economy in shatters and then the unemployment rate of over 60 percent. the outlook for these young women is bleak. being blessed becomes a basic way of survival and the female body and object that can be bought and parted. but of course not all relationships. so this complicated and well money often plays a role is often about simpler things like who gets to pay for the bill and the dates. so we wanted to know what your experiences were and for this we went to millennium park in a gotcha. i spoke to bills when it comes to going out. oh dear, some guys the fiendish guess on like

a picture of like before did food too much. oh whoa. if you do, i'm not so young. we are not able to provide for i didn't have been times where you want to have more than to pick the most expensive piece in the world to go to. and then by 10 you can like this one is over. i something i like. how much is a deal again? i mean, you're calculating your, you know, get you back home because i can afford to mueller, she took out the, someone, i couldn't finish the food annual like, you must finish it. how, who to left. all right? like i must finish, you really nice. one doesn't red flag like how will you tell me a more spanish speaking because it weighs more than banging and i have no idea how i would behave if somebody forced me to finish my food because they were paying for the bill. but you know what dating aside, we also wanted to find out what attracts people to each other and what makes relationships work. so here's what you said. one thing

that draws me so on. if i knew the other person likes with respect to me, i saw i saw the issue was brianna was invited to a job. he's personally i guess the documentary came to his grade level of my life. she was always there for me. she supported me. time like i've never had such support ever in my life. he's on this, let me just say on this to me. and when about his role, he do apologize. that the most amazing part of it. interesting to me, she was always with his job. i mean, oh, don't dish or about me, you're about me this year. you're about money run away. and when he asked me that was like, like, you know, that why do you like me? and if maybe we can do this issue with there are a 1000000 different ways to love and who you choose to love should really only be

a matter for you and your partner. but in life, this isn't always the case. your family friend, society and even national laws can determine who you can and can't have an intimate relationship with, as well as who you can identify as i'm talking about the l g, b, c, q plus community. we're still faces discrimination as well as defamation, and attacked by both states and society all around africa. so let's start off by unpacking gender identity and sexual orientation and what the letter stand for. we ask and relationship, but can break it down for us. the hello there and welcome to the spread of faith space where we get to discuss everything, sex and relationship. today we have a question on gender and sexual diversity. the question read, hey kev. as a person trying to be a better l g b t q plus ally. i'm finding it hard to understand all the new language around

agenda, sexuality and sex. is there a way you can simplify it for me? so i can better understand how to conduct myself in spaces where i meet diverse group. i'd really appreciate it. thanks. let's start by creating 3 boxes, biological or assigned sex, gender, and sexual orientation. each of these boxes has many sub sections, but we'll focus on the most important points. the 1st box, biological sex, is what the doctor uses to identify you at beth based on your genital. yeah, most of the time it's either male or female, but there are also cases where one is born with both male and female genitalia, that person is known as intersects the 2nd box, is gender. gender is a social construct. if what society throw that you to place you in a binary box of either male or female, for example, all and the color pink are said to belong to only girl,

whereas trucks and the color blue are set to belong to only boys. but not everybody conforms to this gender. binary gender identity comes from your in a sense of self and may not aligned with the sex that you were assigned at birth. you could be male, female, both neither or some other agenda. and this could mean, for example, that you're not comfortable with a pronouns, he or she and would rather be referred to as they or them. for example, the 3rd box is sexual orientation. this has to do with attraction that you have to a person based on their agenda, which could be romantic, emotional, or physical men. and women strictly attracted to the opposite gender, and known as heterosexual. if you're attracted to some of the same gender, you could be homosexual. if you're attracted to someone regardless of their sex or gender identity, you could be pansexual. keep in mind that this really is just the tip of the

iceberg. this so much more to learn about the l g b p, q plus community. i hope this has been helpful and i do urge you to keep doing your research online. well informed allies like you are very important. that's it for me, kaz till next time. good bye. thank you kaz. and if you're interested in learning more about sexual minority or just indicating yourself about sex on the body in general, you can have to, well, it's a grand page where we have a series of kaz on just that. now hearing kenya between 2 people of the same gender is still punishable by law. this law has been in place since 930 and results in sexual minority being harassed and left with virtually no protection from police of the state. in january 2023, a young tenant question, design the l g b, you activist. and when she logo was killed, walking white, red b a. the unity, we've talked to some people who are still willing to speak up can yes l g

b t q community is an alert. in january 2023 ed went to law about a student, fashion designer and gay rights activist was killed in the canyon town of l. dorit . his tragic death sent shock waves through the community makeup artist denison gary felt the impact. ah, when, when the new came, you know, like i was much so what's happened and been and i was like, i really hope it's not about how he had to save themselves as of late. there's been a lot of hit and i've been receiving a lot of hits and a lot of comparison to anyone. everyone is telling me, you know, if you don't take care, you'll end up like edwin. dennis was always aware that his sexual orientation was not accepted by society, but the online debate about edward's death has degenerated into an anti l g. b t q plus hate campaign. right now, are they at martinez?

came that 10th, be by not sure of gas if t of the actually t of the sexual orientation. i wouldn't dare walk blue. even simply leaving the house can be a problem. they're not safe to go outside. you're not as sure that you'd be safe unless you have the unity but then where went and they and the station right now, it will be rendered wall in 10 and it will take some time before we get back to our home. but if the government criminal life is hate to web minority groups, i feel like that i will feel protected. homosexuality is still at her bu and canyon society. but in the light of edwin's death, the l. g. b, t q plus community and the allies are once again calling for acceptance. and d criminalization. there's a lot of homophobia. there's a lot of hate to ads,

people who, who's only who, who are hating because they exist. you know, they exist. that's it. i leave, i'm leaving, i'm gay from play most fuss of africa. the laws are very similar to those here in kenya, in a jury for example, one can get up to 14 years in prison meant for being gay. and in some parts of the country which are ruled by fleming sharia law, punishments even was nevertheless, there are few brave people were standing up for themselves. we meet one of them, the legal space, fashion designer, daniel kuhn k who is calling for more respect and acceptance in conservative nigeria, sam, 6 relationships, who if the wholesale wild for the l g b t q plus community. but like ocean teenager daniel concord has an idea to make it a little friendlier with you inclusive freshman brand kids apparel.

ah very much it is a think about. so this coming this one of the prison. i hit personally, i was going to so i had one disrespect, so discrimination on 3 percent. so green up. i always been like bullied on all of that. so i got to read more and i found out about to you. i've always been a 1st time i have to pick up on myself. despite the odd lucas brand has been welcomed, especially in the l g. b t q plus community. bold inscriptions like fem isn't weakness. jenda is fluid and weird can be seen and happening, hung out around lego. i think it's quite an innovative and intrusive brand. i've always had a hard time finding stuff, fit my expression for like with the 5th bronze. it always it go get. i always find

what i was conscious of one my bronze out on it was going be like my good. how do you mean 10 days students stuff and i'm like yes. so can anybody like, i mean the way it person is in its own body or their own body and the thought they need like to which something sees operating very, very bold come from someone as each picking this up because the unit kind of the safety where we leaving, it always seems like this done, you know, runs an online store from his home. he reveals designs on his instagram page. clients can also request designs. daniel then gets a graphic artists to realize the work before supervising the feeling and branding. experiencing hostility is part of the job efficiency by defensive,

as some people just coming into my business page. and just like what's up, why are you doing this? is beverly. this is against god feel and what, and what's not on whatsoever. didn't people don't understand is my brand is not for the, for the particular person's my brand before every body and for his friends and customers wearing his cloth in steals a sense of pride. and i don't read my discretion to ask why you are in something like this. what does this mean? no, right. but then i want to clarify piece of ignoring. so most of the time i see the and i kid demo what things mean? find the scripts junk with a k to but i really didn't care. this is me and i little bit a man with a message. and while people like daniel fighting from one step to the society, many people have their own relationship battle to fight big or small. like cooley

and get should there are, can nigeria and couple living right here they, ruby. and while they knew they wanted to be together, their families and friends, well, they took a bit of convincing. nairobi is east africa. melton port attracted residents from across the continent and beyond. but a kingdom, capitals accept terms of diversity does not always extend to matters of the heart of the beginning. it was very difficult when my wife go to places and introduce oh amazon and job. it was really whoa. used to be very much stereotype by dancing. oh, you've come to care to steal our woman from aust cooler and get to a cross cultural relationship. may be unusual. but like many young people to love hot familiar beginners. we've met one or 2 i think. yeah, austrian to, to years. how is this fresh from school?

he said, talk to me and you know how we say deity and talking and yeah, i liked his vibe. he liked by vibe. he actually up front. he told me you're going to be the mother of my kids for neighbors, friends, and family, the new capos, but in love, connection was difficult to accept. i was now telling my friends in these that dating, you know, you know, telling a lot of people. and then, you know, come off and her. yeah, i met this guy, we've been seeing each other and i'm not his ne jane. like what i sure they j a would you know about him? how do you know his back or he'll leave you today. comments like these will fall on deaf ears, yet whose family have long since accepted the west african in law as a member of the family. but i wasn't always the case when he told me that i didn't know to believe it. i see wart a could not believe it. i said i don't want to eat anything about it. i want you to see me when he told

me that jerry and i was like, what is that my dad doing? can i know africa, go to america or europe. so that was for me, mind blowing. another thing that her head was his muslim. ok. and most he says christian. so we were, let me see says going to because of i know my says i really love in some like i agree to become mostly eventually the couple chose to put aside the may 5th dollars behind them, the path for ahead toward a shed life that blends the best of that different backgrounds include in, in the kitchen at the beginning, used to cook a lot for anyone like i'm visiting a displace hughes to really, really like cooking, you know, i guess the say the time he was trying to lou me. like let me cook for you, my wife, he thought, you know, to make this,

to the law of the fire dry over them as come to enjoy most of the guarantees it from a guy leave room more key, more from below, from from motto, ever, dean. what of are you going from that is your background, your cultural, your age? what is your type it's? it's possible he lets me be me and i let him be here. it works for me perfectly. and we will just happy with when any of the end of our show. but we have one more issue to talk about. that's hard to break. because like, you know, not that for some relationships and maybe most, i mean, i can't be alone in this showing you, you must have some experiences of your own. so let's hear them. well, it may not be shown to be time. i may have walked out and let me have brooklyn

before. i think i'm the one actually, i'm interested in a given me a good deal with us today. so you just a budgeting this with article out the this particular the i will never forget because i set it up which i wait for that particular looking for like a long shot. i'm not sure i felt very particular. undoubtedly that i believe i will never forget. i get all my trust. a boy should take it for granted. and then it was my head because yes, i'm a footballer. like you, bye good to the beach. i'll perform well. like my guys, a black book, it was wrong with to like why you why,

you know focus to be was wrong or deep dive it out. well, yeah, fine to me. i feel i'm, i'm doing my best. i didn't know i wasn't doing the right thing on the peach, i get my bride end of the i ended up losing sight. i didn't get a low bike in return like my trust was taking for granted. so i just have to, it's still miser, other relationships that out by the it was going to so says, then i sworn not too deep in the relationship a 100 percent. that can opt to be extremely careful in order for me not like for the beaks in for the 2nd find me. but i your height and that ring. that's the end of the show this week. if you have story to share with us, connected us on social media, you can also write to us. so he will is 7 to 7 the d w dot com and subscribe to our youtube channel. we have you now with, you know, the do by now a big so thanks for watching. mm. ah, oh,

okay. a go something legal ah, with

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