on the, the ground and reporting from across the continent, all the trends doesn't matter to you. in 60 minutes, on dw d w's crime fighters are back with africa. most successful radio drama series continues. all episodes are available online. and of course you can share and discuss on d, w, africa's facebook page, and other social media platforms, crime fighters, tune in now. or hello and welcome to the 77 percent. my name is edith kimani and i'm coming to you from the heart of no ruby in the special edition of the 77 percent. we're going to talk about love relationships and of course, hot break. we'll find out what attracts people to each other,

to ignite that special spark. ah, we'll hear how fuck says like money and power planes relationship with. and we'll meet the designer who wants people to express themselves. no matter of their sexual orientation. ah, ah. so we know that money can complicate things in a partnership like when love or sex i used as an exchange for money. we're talking here of course about sponsors, black, the or sugar mommy and daddy. so we want to stick a closer look at the blessed a blessed the culture, specifically in south africa. and some young women opened up to us about the experience i shot wanting though, this next report discusses dependency relationships and sexual violence or ah, ah, when she started her studies 23 year old and a ponder and tumble from widow was struck by the expensive looks clothing and

excessive shopping, her fellow classmates enjoying her friends was so cold. lake weeds who depend on rich men to maintain that lifestyle, introduced her to her own bless. of a wealthy married man, who was more than 20 years. her senior he was just c, i'm his clean will begin to lose murphy, re coffee, know her. but the gifts did not come for free and humble. soon discovered that she needs to perform sexual faded. this is when she started having 2nd thought. like, doing really want kind of just felt like i was be invited into sorry, but type of prostitution. but then now i have to make do with whatever just come by

just because of the fact that she wants his life that you want you want last life lavish, no luxurious, a soft allies, all the struggle to survive in a society where money and how a concentrated in the hands of men. tumble is not some men even believe money gives them the right to control a woman's freedom. 46 road modular villa kazi has 3 mistresses. he does not allow them to work, leave the house without his permission or earn his cellphone woman easily. 1010. so we need to control that. they need to be in your finger tips. as we like food for me, i always go into school so that i can have money. i can have power, i can control him that his behavior might entirely undermine his girlfriend's. right. to self determination seems a little concerned too,

because he both he and his friends claim to pay the girlfriends around 400 years each for cbo mcclung who this is pure business. i mean that's the whole point. so now what we, what we do is we take care of women. when they, what do we get in the 10 is love, that's all, that's all. nothing else. so your insight move. yes, sex has been taken care of to someone making you feel special. in a recent south african health survey, one in 10 young women reported to have had transactions. this is a massive problem. it says also jackie. pamela say, we meet the author in an upmarket hotel in johannesburg, but what say is well known for her book, which spills the beans on the blessing and bless the culture, but more say, experienced the fluid borders between transactional sex and human trafficking.

wasn't a fuel one or 2 with this hotel a, you know, with i remember all the things that are written with on as a young girl. she ran away from a violent time and became involved with a very wealthy man, a few months into their relationship. he took her on a private yacht with politicians, business men, and their mistresses, being trapped in the middle of the ocean, she had no choice but to enjoy being raped multiple times. you can be cheated like this. in a heartbeat, if the minister wants to buy you, they'll buy you regardless of who you dating in the group. so even if you're dating the wal mad in the group, he can trade you of a business deal because the ministers after 4 traumatizing years, a mont saint managed to escape the grasps of have lesser. she fled abroad, wishing,

wrote a book about her experiences, a warning that the world of glamour that we see on our phones and internet platforms is sometimes far from the actual truth and social media. give us an invasion of fiction comfort and luxury expected. and people hopeful that lucius and you don't even know that just to get ahead there got his drink in front of us. what are the many other things? did you have to do? just for that one? it, me back in. so wet, le, cause he meets his girlfriend, will be late tomorrow. he wants to buy her and you hand bag, which is nice. but rumor is not early enough for the luxuries she has a baby and needs the money to buy basic necessities to pay rent. and she is well aware of the dependency she finds herself in bed as bianco. we have to sleep it all the guys and he turned it there for you all you okay with everything

just because of minute because i round here chances of sobs and you don't. we are 0. preventative of getting age. all right, on anything and everything to good. what do you, how you either that sits in time in place with a post curve it economy in shatters and then the unemployment rate of over 60 percent. the outlook for these young women is bleak. being blessed becomes a basic way of survival and the female body an object that can be bought and bartered. but of course not all relationships. so this complicated and well money often plays a role is often about simpler things like who gets to pay for the bill on the dates . so we wanted to know what your experiences were and for this we went to millennium park in a gotcha. i spoke to buz when it comes to green o o d awesome guys, the fiendish get

a picture of like before too. too much. yeah. whoa. if you do, i'm not. well, young we are not able to provide for i didn't have been times where you want to have learning to pick the most expensive to listen to what to go to. and then by time you can, you can like to squeeze of rice on it. how much is a really good, i mean, you're calculating your, you know, get you back home because i can afford to knew that she took it out to someone. i couldn't finish the food anyway, like, you must finish it. carol who to left. all right. like almost finished, you really nice ones. it doesn't red flag like how will you tell me more spanish speaking because it weighs more than banging and i have no idea how i would behave if somebody forced me to finish my food because they were paying for the bill. but you know what dating aside, we also wanted to find out what attracts people to each other and what makes

relationships work. so here's what you said. one thing that draws me so on. if i knew the other person likes, with respect to me, i saw i saw the issue was brianna. nobody in particular job that he's personally i guess dorothy maybe came to his grade level of my life. she was always there for me just of what that need time like i've never had such support over my life. he's on this, let me see on this to me. and whenever he's wrong, he do apologize. that the most amazing part of it. interesting to me, she was always a history remembered. oh, don't disturb me, you're about me this year, your money run away. and when he asked me what i was like or like, you know that why didn't you like me? and if maybe we can do this issue with there are a 1000000 different ways to love and who you choose to love should really only be

a matter to you and your partner. but in life, this isn't always the case. your family, friends, society, and even national laws can determine who you can and can't have an intimate relationship with, as well as who you can identify as i'm talking about the l g, b, t, q plus community which still faces this criminal as well as defamation. and attacked by both states and society all around africa. so let's start off by unpacking gender identity and sexual orientation and what the letter stand for. we ask our relationship but can break it down for us. hello there and welcome to the spread a safe space where we get to discuss everything, sex and relationship. today we have a question on gender and sexual diversity. the question reads, hey kev, as a person trying to be a better l g b t q plus ally. i'm finding it hard to understand all the new language around

agenda, sexuality and sex. is there a way you can simplify it for me? so i can better understand how to conduct myself in spaces where i meet diverse group. i'd really appreciate it. thanks. let's start by creating 3 boxes, biological or assigned sex, gender, and sexual orientation. each of these boxes has many sub sections, but will focus on the most important points. the 1st box, biological sex, is what the doctor use is to identify you at best, based on your genitalia, most of the time it's either male or female. but there are also cases where one is born with both male and female genitalia, that person is known as in to fix the 2nd box. if gender, gender is a social construct. if what society throw that you to place you in a binary box of either male or female, for example, dolls and the color pink or said to belong to only girl,

whereas trucks and the color blue are set to belong to only boys. but not everybody conformed to this gender. binary gender identity comes from your in a sense of self and may not aligned with the fact that you were assigned at birth. you could be male, female, both neither or some other agenda. and the could mean, for example, that you're not comfortable with pronouns, he or she and would rather be referred to as they or them. for example, the 3rd box is sexual orientation. this has to do with attraction that you have to a person based on their gender, which could be romantic, emotional, or physical men. and women strictly attracted to the opposite agenda and known as heterosexual. if you're attracted to someone of the same gender, you could be homosexual. if you're attracted to someone regardless of their sex or gender identity, you could be pansexual. keep in mind that this really is just the tip of the

iceberg. this so much more to learn about the l g b p, q plus community. i hope this has been helpful and i do urge you to keep doing your research online. well informed allies like you are very important. that's it for me, kaz till next time. good, bye. thank you can, and if you're interested in learning more about sexual minority or just indicating yourself about sex on the body in general, you can have what is the ground page where we have a series of kaz on just that. now hearing kenya between 2 people of the same gender, it feel punishable by law. this law has been in place since 930 and results in sexual minority being harassed and left with virtually no protection from police of the seats. in general, 2023, a young tenant, question design, and l g. b, you activist edwin, she lobo was killed. walking white bread, p a in the community. we've talked to some people who are still willing to speak up

can yes, l g b t q. community is on alert. in january 2023, edwin to lowball, a student fashioned designer and gay rights activist was killed in the canyon town of el dorit. his tragic death sent shock waves through the community makeup artist innocent gary, of the impact ah, when, when the new fact came, you know, like i was not sure what's happened, edwin. and i was like, i really hope it's not about how he hadn't saved themselves as of late. there's been a lot of hit. i've been receiving a lot of hits and a lot of comparison to anyone. everyone is telling me, you know, if you don't take care, you will end up like edwin. dennis was always aware that his sexual orientation was not accepted by society. but the online debate about edwin's death has degenerated into an anti l g. b t q plus hate campaign. right now are they at

martinez kane? that can't be by not sure of the safety of the functionality of their sexual orientation. i'm going to walk lou. even simply leaving the house can be a problem. they're not safe to go outside. you're not as sure that you'd be safe unless you have the unity but then where a man can they. and the situation right now will be rendered world in 10. and it will take some time before we get back to our home. but if the government criminal life is have to lead minority groups, i feel like that i will feel protected. homosexuality is still at her bu and canyon society. but in the light of edwin's death, the l. g. b, t q plus community and the allies are once again calling for acceptance. and the criminalization. there's a lot of homophobia. there's a lot of hate threats,

people who, who's only who, who are hating because they exist. you know, they exist. that's it. i leave, i'm leaving, i'm game play most of africa. the laws are very similar to those hearing kenya, in a jury, for example, one can get up to 14 years in prison meant for being gay. and in some parts of the country which are ruled by islamic sharia law punishment even was nevertheless, there are few brave people with sending up for themselves. we meet one of them, the legal space, fashion designer, daniel kuhn k who is calling for more respect and acceptance in conservative nigeria, same sex relationships, who is the wholesale wild for the l. g b to q plus community. but like ocean teenager daniel concord has an idea to make

it a little friendlier with you in to see question brand concave apparel. ah, very much it is a think about so, so this coming, this one, the prison i had personally i was going to going to so i had one disrespect to discrimination on 3 or press one. so green up, i always been like will lead and all of that. so i got to read more and i found out about what to do. i've always been a 1st time i have to pick up on myself. despite the odd lucas brand has been welcomed, especially in the l g. b t q plus community. bold inscriptions like fem isn't weakness. gender is fluid and weird can be seen happening, hung out around lego. i think it's quite an innovative and intrusive brand. i've always had a hard time finding stuff fit my agenda expression like with the 5th run

it always it go get. i always find what i want. because listen one my brands out on it was going to be like, my good. how do you mean 10 days students stuff and i'm like yes, then there is a to so can still premium, exclude anybody kind of like, i mean the way it person is in its own body or their own body and the thought they need like which something sees operating very, very bold come from someone as, as each taking these cars unique kind of the safety we leaving. it always seems like this done, you know, runs an online store from his home. he reveals designs on his instagram page. clients can also request designs. daniel then gets a graphic artist to realize the artwork before supervising the feeling and branding . experiencing hostility is part of the job

efficiency by defense, or by some people just coming into my business page and just be like what's up, why are you doing this? is beverly, this is against go through and what and what's not on whatsoever. didn't people don't understand is my brand is not for the, for the particular person from a brand before every body and for his friends and customers wearing his clothes in steals a sense of pride. that i'm going with my discretion to ask why you were incomplete like this. what does this mean? does it know, right? but then, oh, nothing is coming from ignore on. so most of the time i student to kid demo, what things mean? people find the script chunk of it, but i really didn't care. this is me and i little bit a man with a message. and while people like daniel fighting from one step to the society,

many people have their own relationship battle to fight big or small. like cooley and get their attendant nigeria and couple living like you know ruby and while they knew they wanted to be together, their families and friends. well, they took a bit of convincing nairobi as east africa. melton port, attracting residents from across the continent and beyond. but a kingdom, capitals, acceptance of diversity does not always extend to matters of the heart. the other beginning, it was very difficult when my wife go to places and introduce oh manager. and yet it was like, whoa, used to be a very watch stereotype by dancing oh, you've come to can to steal our woman from cooler and get to a cross cultural relationship. maybe unusual. but like many young people to love familiar, begin to, i think as 22 years colleges fresh from school,

he talked me and you knew how we say d, t and talking and yeah i, she's y p like by vibe. he actually up front. he told me you're going to be the mother of my kids for neighbors, friends, and family, the new capos, but in love, connection was difficult to accept. i was now telling my friend to know these, that dating. you know, you're not telling a lot of people. and then you now come off and her. yeah, i met this guy. we've been seeing each other and i'm like his name jan. ellen, what i sure. my dear, what do you know about him? i'll do news backer. he'll leave you to day comments like these will fall on deaf ears, yet his family had long since accepted. yeah. west african in law as a member of the fun. but it wasn't always the case when he told me that 80 no, to delete a seat. watch a could no to gleick. he said,

i don't want to hear anything about it. i want you to think this for us in grammy when he told me nigeria and i was like, what is that, my dear and doing, can i know africa go to america or europe. so that was for me or mind glue. another thing that i had was his muslim. okay. and my see says chris. yeah. so he really misses there's going to cause of, i know my sister, i really love him some like i were to become muslim. eventually, the couple of chose to put aside that may see us, but the adults behind them the per forge ahead to was a shared life that blends the best of that different backgrounds, including in the kitchen. at the beginning it took a lot, especially when like i'm visiting him at his place. he used to really, really like cooking, you know, i guess dust there a time he was trying to lou or me is like them. we cook for you. my wife. he taught

me how to make this to you, that your law of their fire dries over time. i've come to enjoy most of the current dishes from a guy leave room morkie mall from below from from mike. okay, evident wherever you go from, regardless of your background, your cultural, your age, what is your type it's, it's possible he lets me be me and i let him be here. it works for me perfectly. and we were just happy with when any of the end of our show. but we have one more issue to talk about that hot break because like, you know, not that's how some relationships and maybe most. i mean i can't be alone in showing you. you must have some experiences of your own, so let's hear them. well, it may not be shown to be time. i may have walked out in

a living have been before. i think i'm the one actually i'm interested in a given me a good with us today. so you just knew who to help you with the read log in. i be with budgeting this week and it says that i love the responsibility. i will never forget because i believe you are, which i wait for that particular please written for her for like a long shot from appeal. i felt very particular undoubtedly that i believe i will never forget. i get all my trust a ball should take any for granted. and then it was my head because yes, i'm a footballer. like you, bye, good beach. i'll perform well. like my guys, black,

okay, was wrong. we to like, why you, why, you know, focus to be it was wrong or deep darby or yeah, fine to me. i feel i'm, i'm doing my best. i didn't know i wasn't doing the right thing on the peach, i get my bride end of the i ended up losing sight. i didn't get a low bike in return like my trust was taking for granted. so i just have to like exclude my thought, the relationship to them. but out by the it was funny. so since then, i swore not to have any relationship a 100 percent to get out to be extremely careful in order for me not like for the big thing for the 2nd time. but i know how it is and that brings us to the end of the show this week. if you have story to share with us, connected us on social media, you can also write to us. so he will is 7 to 7 the d w dot com and subscribe to our youtube channel. we have you now with, you know, the do by now a big so thanks for watching. mm.

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