and new beginnings, uday u. c. i n a d w i, she's got easy to thought they were great, you will be were ah ah

ah ah no minor i minors down her mind li, those my full policy are always on earth. me of these are tory on me that does you withdraw as a teenager or a child loan? follow? i don't, i was falling, falling, falling cups. then i walk. ugh, it was like a vortex at all. and i was being dragged down far. but at some point, the hand of god reached into my falling ankle, and i knew, even if i fall, some one will catch me. ah!

this is the story of elkin burchell, a lutheran pastor, and a man most of her life. ah, her story is one of denial despair and rejection, but also of courage and of new beginnings. ah, ah ah ah. somebody seen soft maquida 20 tenement from klein and kent on. i think every trans

person feels the longing from an early age and my own memories go back to my earliest childhood. i knew somehow that i ticked a bit differently to management, but it was also clear to me from a very young age because of that. i had to keep this a secret. i couldn't share it with my parents does. so on top of these feelings of shame about my thoughts and emotions, i felt alone in the world and dummy a sense that it wasn't normal to desire what wanted. so i must be a weirdo is false. then when i was at university, i searched the library for books on transsexuality, but there weren't any. the only thing i found was a book called sexual perversions, except it had a chapter on transsexuality which told me i was a pervert of that of that shame to me. and was paint health visits, pilot cuts, present cell room. ah,

elk has crisis played out in this rural area of northwest and germany close to the dutch border, where the life of the farming community is still largely shaped by tradition. ah, the village of halden is home to some 5000 people. elk hash merkel was one of them ah, this was the church where she served for more than 20 years as lutheran pastor. not as elca bought as hon scout speckle. she was married and lived with her wife and children in the parsonage. but at some point she could no longer bad attention and in a village you can't keep something like that. a secret doth the daughter it's

does im so i'll village life means every one taking an interest in every thing that happens is i really enjoyed that. but of course the other, it also had its downside for and or when my change took place with god, the whole village got involved and gossip about me on her glow. it was like as soon army breaking over me. and that's the downside that one must accept, he kills, i did was went on often kaufman. rumors were rife that the pastor had been seen wearing women's clothing that he was going to have a sex change operation. most people in the village didn't know what to make of this . to day a for casting. a volunteer grief counselor, accent elkins per calls decision roughly, but she felt uneasy. advanced owns the show finished, especially miss summit. i am. what done owns the house cup. consider floor full considerable if i had to describe my feelings, i'd say insecure was often that been a lot of rumors. i was on visiting duty,

husky when hand scout to return from vacation, with plucked eyebrows and polished fingernails on it. and i thought, what's, what's going on here? and he helped me 1st on campus, dine about, i never had a transgender people, but that a woman could be trapped in a man's body or vice versa. as, as tom said, no, i had no idea out of this one or does the fall. that's what made it so strange. it can, i don't which come to this mission and a dances were frankly, here soon it was the only topic of conversation in the village was wrong with the pastor cartier should sir berkin hauff was one of the few parishioners who wasn't rattled body the pastor had supported her through a painful period when her husband was dying. it's what elca was known and loved for . she was always there when the parishioners needed her. now she needed their

support. sheltered ahmed, i need time. probably. i didn't see a problem for me. she was always a person. and that hasn't changed whether it was ham skeletal, alca, it has always been the same personally, both iglesia, but not everybody was as tolerant and accepting as katy. i should. so berkin, half some parishioners were so disgusted that they left the church in protest. doth todd thee, that hurt it really hurt? it wounded me that people turned away from me so vehemently. mabel, with whom i'd had a good relationship with whom i talked for me. also members of my family who severed all contact with me from one day to the next. that was very hurtful and hard to stomach him. elca had served the people upholden as their pastor for 2 decades. she had married the villagers baptized their children,

buried their dead. she had done all this as a man. hands can't spare. com. mm. but now she had reached a point where she could no longer live a lie diaz, aren't even natal josie thomas. also, it was, there seemed no way out. i was suicidal. these people around me, society as a whole, weren't giving me the space i needed to briefly his wall. then her marriage broke out elk. his wife left her and took the children. elca decided to leave hardin and seek help in a clinic. after 6 months, she felt stronger and was determined to fight her corner. her former boss supported hun, do his own rod is mercer dmca. and as the engine is amazon newsome, when i visited her in the clinic, she told me she didn't want to return to the parish. as a man, however,

she still wanted to return to the parish. i was mission to your mind. it's holcomb. this is a go. i said that's understandable law for it's like not simple initialized. i mean we have to deal with this situation very honestly and openly. it is as it was and give the parish the opportunity to deal with it openly until you detest shooting. chad, the decisive meeting in the parish center in 2011. what no one dad hopeful was achieved and come into your mind as tony feel of there were a surprising number of positive votes as a, if you many parishioners were happy that the situation was now being discussed openly on water. or at the end of the meeting, the majority said we want to try to go down this path together. ornaments on vehicle. so love was also waiting for alka along this new path cast. and hen

issue is a high school teacher, hobbies, you know, she took the 1st steps towards alca and simply rang the doorbell. and was you had trouble with ed says no, hm. and when you have that thing is that these are lovely pictures. i will miss that my skirt was too high. oh, really? can't you see? just as often it's so beautiful. we didn't need to lengthen, edit, it, run. very beautiful town and the church was beautiful too. but m. s. and he hated health at athens meeting me, of course, i didn't know what to expect, but the proof of the pudding is in eating, being invested in, oh, pamela caston, was a teacher at the high school. and alca proposed to her right, that in school during class, alca is not a shy woman. she wanted to present her new life as a transgender pastor with a lesbian relationship. for all to see i bought proposing marriage in this way was

too much for many parishioners to stomach, vincent and cons. a were conservative village were certainly broad minded, but basically everything has its place in its order as good as school work is work and marriage proposals and love or something else entirely up on lever. as for sanders at the time, elca had a new boss, thomas bowden felt, tells us that up until then, he'd only known transsexuals from television, but it does is as lot woburn kind. my 1st reaction was this is unknown territory, but i think everybody should be allowed to say when they find something strange as it makes you a bit scared at 1st will be seen. you ask yourself is how am i going to deal with this? and then these defensive reactions follow, does that make distance inc, and maybe even rejection. as i've seen that in many people, including myself, i'm your server. all elk has new boss had a difficult decision to make the parish council no longer wanted to work with elca

. so he decided to let her go. m e m as in swore was it about out for me as superintendent, but it was obvious that things would explode for both sides at some point. lighten that wouldn't be good for the parish and you and certainly not good for hawkish. burkle. i realized we had to do something immediately to remove them from the situation which had become increasingly difficult. dead soon impulse the governess . elca herself no longer wanted to be passed in holden. she left the parish and became chaplain in a nursing home. elca didn't want to pretend any more. she wanted to be herself. the hormone therapy was producing changes in her body. her features were becoming more feminine. her voice brighter her breast developing. however, she decided not to undergo transitional surgery. she identifies as transgender, a woman living in a body that was originally male,

within the bridal couple has to bid for it a way to get know, the get us, keep it. it was fun, far as the gifting. meanwhile elca has become friends with her hairdresser katya. in florence, she held the blessing service for katya silver wedding anniversary. all her for me for fanny on me and im a report for out 10 years ago. i'd never have dared to go into a hair dressers when so many other customers were there. oh, my self confidence has grown thing and of course awesome that has a lot to do with catcher. she, somebody i can trust completely through the foot tall and harm come with the wellness in absolute wellness. her i came

here during times of stress here and just relaxed alexis and funner and after and i had the feeling afterwards with that. but that looks seek over, we thought that i never managed to do it that well myself, i feel like what do you think that's good. very good. oh no super super, super, super. every wednesday and thursday, elko teaches at a school for caregivers and nursing staff. she has been doing this for many years. her subject is ethics. principal, andreas park has always stood by her is specially when her parish no longer wanted her as a pastor. as of yet and for spoken to, we'd have helped miss chicago when it looked as if she wouldn't have

a job as blunt a force for glove. she's always done fine work for us all. and at the height of the crisis, i offered her a full time position. year doors will help visual so on so good morning. i are the flower and i'm also here by on phil. let me introduce myself, nama, i'm elca sch, berker with either young elk has trans identity, hasn't been a problem at this school, according to the principal. partly because alca is absolutely candid about her situation. yo, dennis, i think i know her d e m, and there's another thing you will have noticed twice on my voice. i can speak a little higher and more relaxed. ok. he might then it's a bit more feminine. i haven't always been l. her. there was a crunching my biography in 2010 or i was on sick leave for 6 months when i didn't know what to do with my life. or even if i wanted to continue living normally

believe or not. im thomas pardon failed, was also concerned about alca 2 years after she left holden, he appointed her sen, representative for dance, topics in the district under his supervision. not eloquence off, not muzzle you on both of us. elca opened our eyes as a church to take astonished to make our position clear so that we don't allow people to be marginalized, easy to be victimized, and subjected to violence because of the way they all gotten, even if they seem different. first, from the way we think people should go in and i'm calling from gus, your po fun. go by it's v i o l k is now 66 and has retired from her chaplaincy in the nursing home.

however, she continues to sit on the lutheran senate and runs a self help group for trans people in her region. we found so be elegant fun. if we're going to elfaire funeral. she was in our support group and only had her big outing 3 years ago as oh, ting cutter one to she did it very radically. ah, although she was really severely disabled and she managed to adjust her body to some extent, but most importantly, she changed her marital status, including her 1st name guns and became visible to the outside world. she threw away her entire wardrobe from one day to the next, and then went shopping. that's very impressive. this one

even though elca is officially retired, she remains a pasta. in this capacity, she decided to hold the memorial service herself for the member of her support group. ah, ah furnace robert. it was nice of you to come. it was important to me that some people from the support group attended over to violence. him over, there were about 30 of us, not bands, but i think 30 in the congregation. definitely if you've on december 3rd. yet it was nice of you is office friend to conduct her funeral service just because the quality, all the ups you to play. it was important to me another modem of treat. it was also

the group saying good bye to her alpha with special stood. that's right. it's what makes us humans bottles mentioned jaws of the 5 was on shore, passing was such a shock. i went to a cafe afterwards and over a large mug of coffee, thought it on. what am i going to do at coffee? i have to conduct the funeral myself somehow and it was also a comfort for me as well as ebony. the group provides real support trans people are rare in this rural area. elca as their leader gives them strength and self confidence. ah, there's a sense in which elca has finally arrived, even if she wouldn't put it that way, has south for her arrival. sounds like reaching the end of the journey and i still a lot she wants to do. but she has onset, the fundamental question, who am i?

she no longer needs to ask people. who do you say i am? she hasn't reached the end of her journey yet, but she can travel with confidence to day, she's visiting vase old cathedral. she has an appointment here with the pastor thomas back found give. so some tips for the special acoustics of the charge. the musicians are already practicing in the background. elca is conducting the service to day, which especially highlights the queer community. thomas bag found is happy for his charge to be used for this purpose. for me has the slightest acres spot to contact . so mentioned hut again. oh gosh. burkle has very close contact with people i don't otherwise meet in everyday life. let's talk on maybe they wouldn't even

approach me because they don't know what i stand for, or whether we're on the same wavelength. thing have been owned with elca, it's very clear and she creates this connection. we're able to show that the church welcomes everybody at oliver com l k is still working on her, simon to day she wants to focus on the joy of being different. ah. we'll call, we'll join us young. give us the courage to enjoy the fact that we're different to learn, lulu . ah,

elkins children and now reconciled to her transition. but they don't want to go public. even though elca sometimes mentioned them in her sermons was really the up to 3 years ago. my granddaughter had a fantastic idea. she decided that i couldn't really be her grandmother. it just doesn't fit. and grandma is gender conformist. with on the other hand, i'm not really her grandpa either the voice, maybe. so i'm something like a grandma par or, and i've been called grandma park, that if i, my grandchildren ever since. and

a member of the congregation tells her personal story. tanya met and fell in love with her partner when she was a man and accompanied her in her transition to womanhood. while the 4th fuller, barbara fished, my wife is wonderful. she shines. she laughs. oh, she dances often, she's always in a good mood different that's what makes life worth living. being who you are, i am proud to have accompanied her on the journey to her current life. my wife, my, my lily, thank you. oh, my liberty with the ones, if illinois to the i'd even, we need lots of people to speak up for us. i mean in the way elk does with their heart the heart and right. and i admire so much and i'm grateful to know her. she's

an amazing woman with what we need strong people like harassment, 112 hold on to learn as a shocker really to porterville from london. it's amazing what she's achieved, that we're fighting her corner and asserting herself in a small community, saying, this is who i am. this is my life with the society while does is my name mine worth of one and god, and my greatest wish to god and for the world is that at some point, it's accepted as normal for people to be transgender. for some people to have down syndrome and for some people to have autism that they are no longer any norms for people home and that it's quite normal for people to be different mentioned in the us. and after several moves, alca and charleston left the village of halden and ended up in a town. it's not just the 2 of them anymore. they also have a child conceived from a friends sperm donation. for elca, this is now the 3rd family in her life.

a couple don't have everything worked out yet, but their full of optimism is either centers because really academic archive, sir, you can hear you can help again while we're on. well i don't know what's in there either and we might have to look back there again. alan was go, i think everyone had to grow in this situation. my some did on maybe some didn't and i think some degree of normality has returned. now everything has come down a bit. angleton as well. and yes, we live our lives quite normally now. yeah, it's been with them, so my was 110, as a couple months as a family i from you your order. we live like every one else even i talked among. okay. oh. so i've been able to live a lot of aspects of myself,

and i don't have to think about it much as an author, being a woman has become normal for me. of course, i know the old man is also still inside me with his behavior. his mechanisms, his character long, but i am able to live the woman and me more than i do, and that's a gift. this languishing ah ah, ah, with

who oh, she may is fine to this is nigel for justice. and for some happy to herself and hundreds of thousands of aids patients in china, victims of medical scandals that began to put what single person to do.

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