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i'm tired of the 34 years. i was a middle i didn't know best now i know the never ending story of asbestos starts june 21st on d. w. the so the

that morning i woke till then russia had invited you crane the many days after the dimensions except on social media. i see the 1st problems pulling on keys. the

it is the 24th of february 2022. i sent it to you is how am i supposed to go on living? normally when my country is attacking its naval, responded like a film and make up my talk. this is take your camera and shoot. the technology has advanced to a point where i can assume on my own i can shoot with my own camera without any financial support. sometimes i also use my smartphone. since i don't have an official filming account to attract attention under any circumstances and have to remain strictly anonymous the on the evening of the 24th of february 2022,

i went to an anti war protest in the center of some patients. but the, i am extremely nervous demonstrations in russia. i'm fine at least suppressed tonight. me and my camera facing hundreds of riot police and special task forces. the around 2000 people have gathered in the center of some petersburg, the full 193 demonstrations are taken into custody. this ticket has been published by an independent n g or functioning against political persecution in russia. the

if my film is to show the full picture of the situation in this country, i have to leave the big cities and go to russia. i just want to leave some pages, but it goes from my hometown to meet my friends is on camera and see how they are coping with the war. the . it's an ordinary small town. typical of the post date either on the outskirts of

to the northwest of most of the here, poverty and depression us. so because i see if the residents don't even notice it anymore, young people lead to study and must go some pieces. but the 1st opportunity, while others survive with jobs, the many joined the army because the pay is special. the 1st thing i do is contract my childhood friend valentino. we lost touch when we studied in different cities.

that in tina tells me she's married to a soldier, alex saying the in march, they agreed to meet me wretchedly and tell me what they think about the war. but suddenly, on the condition, they remain anonymous for their own safety. speaking to me to put them in danger or even interest in the alex, i has said to me for several years. and he's also the central admissions, but never to was on the a few weeks before the invasion began. he was transferred to the ruse for military

training. he didn't know then that immediately afterwards his regiment would invade ukraine, the dish each and there was another important point. he also said this himself, and it could be good if he could also see it in front of the camera now. but well, i will do it for him. he joined the army to defend his homeland, not to attack other countries. that's the point. and that's what's bothering him. in the 1st few days, he told me, i'm ashamed to be here is the most places. the rest of the brain, every time i visit, valentine is close to the will coverage. the media keeps it on the continuous loop . this is really crazy because help it follow the

fake news propaganda which tells a completely different story for most of next i report spot from the front launch a new crime. now it is really crazy that the russians are reporting the war while not showing a single piece of military equipment in the city or in the village. there is not a single indication that the fighting took place there. and there is no evidence whatsoever that this is a village near keith, not even the name of the village was mentioned. they would have to show something concrete. they want to prove that ukrainians approve of this. basically they're saying the soldiers came, took the water left and did not lose. nobody in ukraine appreciates this. nobody says to the russians. thank you for the liberation. the know, in any case, information from the army is exactly like the information on the 1st channel. oh,

so it is the same propaganda in the beginning, they actually claim that cave would be taken within a few days ago to use such as are supposed to be of the size of photos nationally. i remember my 1st calls are without like say very well i should have a few said that's and then i have said p if is because i was. so he said that the advance was successful on the 1st or 2nd day in which because i've obviously none of them expected to stay there for long distance. so you don't, and yet i should to set you up with something called i assume valentine is every day life until april everything revolves around to the excise cools. it's constant wasting, and fia, the education and i started keeping this diary at the end of 2021,

about the situation up until february, almost after the 24th of february, i wrote only one entry. i'm waiting for alex 8. your mobile station is a total. yes, i can say that it makes me feel better and i'm just not able to plan anything any longer. my whole life now consistently only of waiting for calls give them your present for a phone call, telling me that everything was fine. i mean, yes for that look, say was wounded or dead. yeah, so what on your on the front lines it becomes clear without giving much detail, that elect says view of the conflict has become more radical. so what do you want people to know when they see this video? one day war is how never do anything like this. it's terrible or the

i'm about to be discharged. a friend introduced to ethan i think that's the one from austria hungry. like many young men from the to the region, he's in the army either from a drone or from a miss items or this is made of ceramic he's agreed to be filled. although he knows that our political views default. intuitively, i think he's a good person. he just had a different life experience to me and grew up in a very conservative family. he's confident and talks openly. his only condition is that i don't show his face telling the truth about the copeland soldier skin prison or was the

just the one that we were told nothing would happen. of course, it was just like all way through sometime in february, probably between the 15th and the 20th. i don't remember exactly number they gave us cancels we were supposed to use to put our names on uniforms. nation. and then the deployment of troops began 300 or 400 kilometers away or at night. and from there we marched on with much stuff before that she watched it for an hour on the 23rd of february, they congratulated us on the day of the defender of the fatherland and then the work started straight away. first, orders were given women, which name i'm old, which i services start, understand how it always works. distorted so the 3 days and nights of

uninterrupted action, changing posts on which, which were getting my extension gradually and realize what's going on. we'll have to call us back at the nimble for us though. we went to freight after a truck and we chose this job. now we had to do it and all that kind of stuff. just to see if this firing, at least you can hear it and see it for the so i am trying to react. if you only hear drones at the last moment to the very small you can't see them when they're still far away. can you don't see the unmanned aerial vehicles because i have flying high up in the south for the what is it was it doesn't matter. what do you think it was for, for something called or other school with a special operations that doesn't change anything. it's one of the same or no

matter what it's cool, it's just a different name. nothing else. so i know what the so the, the most people in the regions support to send and his special operation. the call to express my opinion if i want to continue filming without trouble from the authorities. propaganda is every way in the media, and is also spread by the local authorities. here today, the city of vision, the viola child is putting on an impressive demonstration to support our president and also our boys to for a new cray. no. right. we came to show everyone that we stand together and that we will never give up our national values that you most of the top of

the maria is even small. that she was born in ukraine when it was still part of the soviet union. like many russians, she's a hotline who supports the war and president wooten. i'm not sure if maria knows my true stance on the war and ukraine. it's like, i have a female putin in front of me. a few, a product of the criminal must propaganda like a son, she told openly in front of my camera. i can ask a direct, even provocative questions. a level we're noted for only with ukraine,

but with the whole world. we're not fighting against it, but we are an opposition to it. maybe not for the all countries, but definitely with the western european countries. we're disrupting them and they want to destroy what causes disruption. but either way, it's about our defense problems, which hasn't much of a shape. the, the commemoration is on victory, j, occupying important place in russia's collective consciousness. they celebrate brushes, victory over the nonsense, and what we call the great takes you off the pool image, twenties, and so the citizens dont the given the con conflicts. i'm curious if the 9th of may, 2022 will be celebrations differently. the traditional highlights of the day is the

much the more for regiment to take part in the procession. one from social social over performing relative of soldier from the great peak c o 2 more. and then a touch is the peach and to a stick. the when i was younger, i took part in the precision myself with my great grandmother's portrait. she managed to escape the siege of leningrad and survive. one of my memories of her is that she always painted a lunch down to the last from down to the break from scott, sit on the table. she told me that means the hung up and to the

on this nonsense may the mississippi and be every way, but many don't know what they mean. these letters, which appeared at the beginning of the ukraine invasion, arose from association with the orange of black colors from saint george's, written symbolizing victory as in nazi germany. these symbols of the past and present fused into one, creating an alternative vision. but this is propaganda. the this memorable day ends with the huge fireworks display in scotland. pages book a shiver runs down my spine. the sounds

of the explosions, remind me of the bombing of ukraine, the back in the today of region. i may, boris maria's 2nd son. it's a book book we put him in last night of the shell was about this big and it was packed with his truck. know like this bars also asked me not to show his face. he had a decent job but decided to follow his brother who was already at the front because of his ukrainian roots from the don't bus. he sees that has a juicy to fight for his homeland is quite critical of the special operation. but the leads and the rebus of a great russia of the, the english, but also for august and the it would be good if a person has encouraged to see the situation for himself on the ground. then he

would realize how screws we, uh, let's just say the least. maybe the soldiers on the ground, i mean, perfect. and yet latest, at the top i told that everything is going great and he's concerned, but that's not the reality to call the specific government. it's the same with the armies, equipment and weapons this wednesday. if the guys there, for example, have no body yamma or helmet who before there are plenty of cartridges, but no ammunition going from you should there. so in this zip code. so i think that those, that the toddler stuff, i don't mean that president again by the commanders on sharing the whole story. what am i supposed. c to unfortunately, in my opinion, my nissan told him does not have a good team of his own. that has been fighting on 2 fronts all his life. that's almost like an external front. and then in turn, our front of ours,

the stars country nowadays is ruled by the guards whose interest is not the welfare of our country. they are working only to fill their own pocket. it's called globalization to friday, just fast for our government. i always say that gives me a good coordinate launcher and i'll take them all down. oh, by them so that the system of government will probably have to change it as well. but how it's hard to say, and it's unlikely that history will repeat itself and we'll get another minor key. but we definitely need some kind of iron fist on of the, to me and for most people, critical of the regime, it's clear that the do not certification of ukraine is not the real reason for the war. fusions main concern is restoring the former glory of the us, the sauce, and the russian empire cushion seized himself as the news of the father of the

nation. many russians supposing that because he makes them feel proud, and they arise, embodies the return of the great russia of the past. television propaganda promotes the idea that wisdom countries want to see the end of russia. they say a special operation is the answer to this rate. the i want to find out how many soldiers from my beach and died at the front. but i quickly realize that it's impossible to get reliable because as the number of casualties is constantly rising, the nikisha was killed by a drunk. he was 32 years old. the

his mother and sister are in deep booming. i learned if he's dead through one of his friends i'm told of reno physically to tell his story on camera, the a 33, and what a one morning he said to our mother and will. so that's announces of e as a whole. just as mother looked at him and asked what mamma replied to, i'm going to go into battle now you have the political blue, but it's a blue. i'm not. it was a may, 170 images a 10 o'clock in the morning. my mother called me did it and was so hysterical that at 1st i couldn't understand what she was saying. i'm glad if she was shouting so

loudly into the phone. you see him come on when she said that she had received a call from the military west coast, we had come, i knew instantly that it wasn't good news to don't just call out of the blue. i couldn't understand it at all at 1st only. and you feel a dozen didn't cry, you will know everyone around. he was crying dumpster flush, the items at the single tier because i just didn't leave it with me because i saw no, you can't be. it simply cannot be mine. the key to the always paid attention and was careful. couldn't have died there bluff those, let them fly in you. when you move by you lose the, you know,

long has it been so and it will be 6 months just i can't believe it. well, i'm still waiting for a call from him, and i haven't deleted our last conversation on watson. i'd be there till my last message to him is only one check mark. i can't delete it, had won't do it. and it'll, cuz there's a few minutes. the, the only consolation is that he didn't suffer for a long to so new, he probably didn't even realize what was happening are going, you know, all of a sudden everything was over close to the so the, in the middle of some of the local. so she's hold of gathering in on of nikita you

celebrated as a full national hero. once again, propaganda is using the suffering of people to justify most of those policies. on february 24th 2022, russian president vladimir putin announced a special military operation in connection with a situation in the dunbar to ensure russia's national security. a steve like the russian military uses, putting on a relic effort during the special military operation in the done bodies. these concerts settled. what today were unveiling a plaque in honor of our fellow citizen, the key test berrydunn, who has been awarded the order of valour origin, the most the

to the, the best way to get this pluck is placed in remembrance directly opposite l flat, which flies proudly and honorably overall land over our people. i'm not sure. the i'm already starting to get used to this. it's like, i don't feel anything any more. the more exhausting and absurd. it gets to move my

brain shuts off. so that i don't go crazy. the, this will reminds me of the was in the middle ages with brothers killed each held up as a succession to try and because of patients will, ukrainians will never consider russians as brothers. again, the, what about russians themselves? how did they feel about attacking the neighboring country with some of them even have family. the special operation is being carried out against people who are subs like us. russians lived there too. and we are russians,

especially when we share the same mentality and that plays a big crone. everyone is holding out until the end finding temperature. and this of course makes it very difficult to progress and live right in the area because you are brother injections after all those that we should be friends or for. but in fact we're at warranty. and that's not ok. absolutely not. to the joyce, one human being, kill another human being to the purpose kids say for what purpose? right? sure. just because some guy above him said he should do it to the store, to quote and then he goes and does it stand sure trucks consult the can office? do you see don't you have a mind of your own veteran that's a sectional. yep. or are you just a sheep and the flock to cook off? so starts, do you just do what you're told to do?

on the return to my friend valentina, it is april. now i notice the fear in her eyes. she looks different of the russian regime, tug control information circulation of social media. the horror stories and rule crimes of the russian troops reached the families of the soldiers that most of them i knew that he probably wouldn't return as the person i knew no response from. i don't know what he did there, but i assume it was nothing good night moving. and i was very curious to see how it would all go with you just needed to. i

don't know how to justify alex's actions. if it turns out that he was involved in all this har, it would be a big test for our relationship. and of course i know his character and i am sure that he would never harmon, an arm to person like what happened in boucher. so i'm not concerned about it, but if it turns out that he was in any way involved before, then i would have been completely mistaken about what kind of a man he is, was telling me the news from bush. so let's do this and then yes. and yet, you know, that all came out after he left. i shall i'm just going to the lake. i say anything about butcher, but the only later, at 1st he didn't say anything about it on the instant, just after some research, i discovered a soldier from his unit was near butram. and the last then i started asking

questions was the what you more process the, the most terrible moments. and this was to me was when i learned from the independent media about the crimes committed by russian troops and mariel and boucher. i still cannot understand how on um, civilians can be shopped with their hands tied. the russian authorities officially claims that the master couldn't butcher was a folks fake news. they claims that the corpses hands were moving, that they were professional actors. anyone who contradicts the official version ends up in prison. one of my favorite positions creek is indigo. ja sion is now serving 9 years in prison for allegedly spreading false information about the butcher, the even saying what i'm saying right now is considered a crime in my country. i feel very uncomfortable when i see alexa again. i can't

help but ask him what he knows about boucher and more importantly whether he was there must regarding the massacre of innocent people there. i don't know anything about that. also the official come shipment when we had already started to retreat at the right time, which the my shit, the guys who stayed in boucher told us that they had also been given the green light retreat. so i only wanted one thing. we have to leave as quickly as possible you. alexa shows me he does not include show and has nothing to do with the crimes. i believe him that in mexico of this scale took place since unimaginable to him.

the i want to also ask boars about domestic cuz it doesn't get into it. there's the dumpster the. what about the huge burial ground that was discovered there? this village just now it's probably the work of the ukrainians again a so this is a tactic of this fuel skim hungry because of poor north show. but there are hundreds of people you saying the ukrainians killed the wrong people the you and you for just from yes to they don't mess around with it. so for some with a voided, for example, saying it right. and the little girl said when they killed them on the spot, so just basic, couldn't do it. it's really shocks me to hear these words from boris. had underestimated tomorrow, propaganda, the war has stretched in to the summer, much longer than the regime fund goes through the russian armies,

lack of preparation and organization is becoming a v as is approved. but the authorities weren't publicly admission. jennings to dismiss testimonies keeps surfacing doubts about the war a growing so who knows what is easy to use to move that little glitch and that's even being claims that we're ready for a 3rd world war and for the use of nuclear weapons you. but i wonder if we don't even have shelves around want as an explosive charges for a massage fee, how can we worry about using nuclear weapons? i doubt that we even have as many as i say, i don't know how this is all going to win, but so far it looks like you're, you're losing the

at the end of august, the death of mikhail gorbachev. to sickness this, an important chapter in russian history is coming to an end to me with his funeral . the idea of freedom in my country is also being laid to rest. the i was born in 1998 and gorbachev was already as a power. i only know about his achievements through the stories of those. he lives for this time of freedom and type. ukraine's independence is one of the changes that came out of that time. unlike me, many russians, even those my age considered a big mistake. the

return to my home town, the summer is coming to an end. the war tried so home. thanks to wisdom, military aid, your training and forces are able to take back some tower tree. just letting you know, i understand why our guys are advancing slowly. you know, they want to stay at the civilian population and they are trying to destroy as little as possible. i can understand that. but why is nothing else being done? why aren't they bombing the railway launch along as is, why did they fall and being left sick? for recently, even down the town is roughly 100 kilometers from kids. see, why do we allow polish weapons to be transported through? we remove this forest, colorado. why are they know what you mean? the real reason there are

in many remote parts of russia like this one. the army is the biggest employer soldiers and more than other jobs and usually would come to good conditions. the invasion of your train has changed the work completely as a financial incentives still keep. the families of soldiers killed at the front are also come from the sites substantially. i wonder if this is meant to keep mothers and assistance from nelson who the of the military commissary out was by our side 247. so just being opposed,

it was constantly about support payments. so that's when you, when we were constantly on the phone with as little bullying students as everyone wanted to know how much money my mother had received this, her phone was ringing off this whole group, which is why did they pay you? have you got the money yet? how much did you get on zillow? so many people asked directly. oh, can you find me some moreno? you're a millionaire now. yeah. and yes, the adult of the close of the day after about 2 weeks to receive the 1st 1000000 to spend another 5000000 roubles. finally, a little more than 6 a stuffy because he bought a flat with it and did a lot of other things with it is because i have 2 of them. got blue one, and i think that's exactly what nikita would have done the dual store. that's probably what he would want to push the fuel boom, leaving and then that the record silver on the 21st of september, president tutoring announced the mobilization of $300000.00 additional soldiers to

continue his special operation. well, not surprising. it shocked many young russians to the when the mobilization was announced, was completely hysterical. at the time i went on with my husband, i'm in dor when i heard pretend speech the most into my mind so much that my husband spend half of the night trying to calm me down. what's in the nose at the slowness book? a store? no. my cried and said, i'm not letting you go and yeah, that they have already taken my brother away from me. it's been yeah, i've done. i won't survive another death and my family a go 1st the little you shortly. then i'll go crazy. he goes to me a problem. i can't stand it too much and smelt me

after 3 months on the ukrainian front, 17 as customers. finally hon. the alex, i service with the army has ended. they spend food, peaceful months together, rebuilding their married life, bought mobilization ruins. they have plans to choose which was no way i want to go back to the front not to the left flank or to the right flank. this is all this is that him kind of friendship is the kind of friendship, is this, you attacked our neighbors, you idiots. she was

a full funded so many of my friends died for the most try you crying about this is now partial mobilization. according to him, you are definitely part of the 2. you went through military training and you served for a very long time. so what, you know, and you have experience in military operations get out while there was only a partial mobilization and not a general mobilization in the room where are you crying? because you won't have any luck come down. i'm still here for now. and i'm staying here. what's the matter with you?

no, no, no. why couldn't he just say that he was withdrawing the troops that they're just not up for it. hey, you guys have gone too far with the 2nd piece making armies. let's go home. to come down to a trial

on the 21st of september, demonstrations against the mobilization take place. the protest is mostly women who don't want this sons and husbands to become ken and photo the this time i'm not so lucky they arrest me. the lawyer helps me escape punishment, but now i'm registered as a political activist. the people arrested with me received funds some more in prison for up to 15 days, who was going into

a future nature. so we did some of the demo. you the one of the young men, the rest of the demonstration, is taken directly to the recruitment office where he receives his draw. the presence instead through the 20 to 2022, nearly 20000 people has been arrested in russia during protest against the war and by the allies. ation. the announcement of mobilization had an unexpected effect. some of the potential new recruits, as well as some experience, so just one to avoid being drafted as old costs. some break their arms or legs and many dislike to leave russia. the, the

alexa has decided to go to the catholics. tom i may see him at the end of september. every day he talks to valentino on the phone and tries to reassure, hey, how are you doing? good, i'm great. here i love you to honey. like alexa, hundreds of thousands of russians have fled the country since the war began to peruse and supposes they have. traces should be classified as foreign agents. and also now back into the country, i want to call those who fled to definitely not be allowed back into russia. i'm very harsh on them. yeah, that's picking the

as an old adults christian myself, i find it hard to understand how the church can support the school. but the russian, all the adults, bishop patriot, cadell said in a speech, delivered shortly after the war broke house. the participation in the military operation wash is white or seen. my face in the russian church is shaken. alexa feels the same way. when you go to i believe in god my from ministry, but i don't believe in our church to put the most of along with the car because that's not the way it's supposed to be on the phone except yeah. all the boys say that we're moving here and look like the they always say no,

i don't believe in god's thoughts of yours, and i don't believe in him to a new fiddle, which should have been shot as soon as they get into a life threatening situation. of suitable for, for the 1st thing they do is pray to god that everything will turn out. all right, thoughts hold and okay. oh and then when the situation is over and they've called down, they don't believe in god again for good. i still don't 48. so if you it is not honestly, i don't know what all this is about. i have no idea. how can god allow such a thing? or what the church tells us is complete nonsense of shift pulling the pieces, deals many young man from the fiscal bridge and have joined the army. the symmetries contact the countless new graves of phone and soldiers. but the subject is to the filming,

and his symmetry can be seen as an act of provocation. close to us through the shoulders, she just now and then came up to us and spoke to us. he was friendly about it. he had a scar on his face. he politely asked us not to take photos of the soldiers, who said that they had just come back to see it, just rush. just how do you feel now that you've seen the graves with the flags? when in your team i'm feeling very ambivalent. on the one hand, i think sand god, alexi is not one of them. on the other hand, i would like to walk down the road and look for familiar names. i know there are some boys who fought with him here, and i would like to tell him who they are by them to get this 6 of the orthodox church forces its leadership to remain silent on the subject. before this priest refused to be filled. i question to him, but the hidden camera is on your social. i'm sorry to lose your decision so many of

them are already buried here just because of them. yeah, sure. so i talk with those who have come back from the front. was that a shift? the only thing i can say is that all those who are there and afraid are coming back because of issues. fair is pretty much a guarantee that you will return home. because i look those 2 visitors the english d e a has passed since i started filming, continues to rage in ukraine for this ease on and far as for petune to the front, the piece to celebration. easy with ashley. it's another problem. the maria still believes that you train belongs to russia, valentino, and the lex,

i don't know when they will see each other again. doesn't excite and still approved the my life has also been upside down since february 2022. the cost of the last to me, i had to leave my home to ensure my safety and the safety of the people being stealing along the film itself. to me, it is a big leak into the on. many of my friends have also fled to escape mobilization. we are now sprayed all over the world. i missed my hometown, my friends, and my family. keeps thinking about the absurdity of this rule between my country and ukraine, and ask myself to turn on question. what can i have

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