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that morning i woke to the russia i didn't pay did you crane the images except on social media. i see the 1st problems pulling on keys. the

it is the 24th of february 2022. i post entities. how am i supposed to go on living normally when my country is attacking its neighbor to respond like a film and make us my partner says, take your camera and shoot. the technology has advanced to a point where i can assume on my own i can shoot with my own camera without any financial support. sometimes i also use my smartphone. since i don't have an official filming account to attract attention under any circumstances and have to remain strictly to miss the on the evening of the 24th of february 2022, i went to an anti war protest in the center of some patients book.

the i am extremely nervous demonstrations in russia. i'm fine at least suppressed tonight. me and my camera facing hundreds of riot police and special task forces. the around 2000 people have gathered in the center of some petersburg, the 493 demonstrations taken into custody. this ticket has been published by an independent n g or function against political persecution in russia. the

man, the if my film is to show the full picture of the situation in this country, i have to leave the big cities and go to russia. i just want to leave some peaches bed and go to my hometown to meet my friends on camera. and see how they are coping with the war the it's an ordinary small town to be called at the post date, either on the outskirts of to the northwest of most of

the here, poverty and depression a so to face, if the residents don't even notice it any more young people leave to study and must go some pieces, but the 1st opportunity, while others survive with all the jobs, the many joined the army because the pay is special. the 1st thing i do is contact my child support friend valentino. we lost touch with me studies in different cities around and teen until some issues. married to a sergeant,

alex saying the in march, they agree should meet me wretchedly and tell me what they think about the war. but certainly on the condition, they remain anonymous for their own safety. speaking to me to put them in danger, even in prison, the alex so his so to me for several years he's often sent on missions, but never to was the, a few weeks before the invasion began, he was transferred to the ruse for military training. he didn't know then that

immediately afterwards his regiment would invade ukraine, the dish each and there was another important point. he also said this himself, and it could be good if he could also see it in front of the camera now. but well, i will do it for him. he joined the army to defend his homeland, not to attack other countries. that's the point. and that's what's bothering him. in the 1st few days, he told me, i'm ashamed to be here is the most places. the rest of the brain, every time i visit 17 is clued to the will coverage. the media keeps the continuous loop. this is really crazy. because help with follow the site use propaganda which tells

a completely different story from what the next. i report, spite from the front launch a new crime. now, it is really crazy that the russians are reporting the war while not showing a single piece of military equipment in the city or in the village. there is not a single indication that fighting took place there, and there is no evidence whatsoever that this is a village near keith. not even the name of the village was mentioned. they would have to show something concrete. they want to prove that ukrainians approve of this . basically they're saying the soldiers came, took the water left and did not lose. nobody in ukraine appreciates this. nobody says to the russians. thank you for the liberation. the know, in any case, you know, information from the army is exactly like the information on the 1st channel was

saying it is the same propaganda in the beginning. they actually claim that cave would be taken within a few days ago to use such as are supposed to be a 1000 over the size of bottles, nation, but i remember my 1st call. so it's all like say very well, i should definitely see said that's and then so i have said t if because i was so he said that the advantage was successful on the 1st or 2nd day in which because i've obviously none of them expected to stay there for long distance, so you've gotten them yet, i should to schedule what's from them. so i assume valentine is every day life until april everything revolves around leg size cools. it's constant washing and fia, the education. and i started keeping this diary at the end of 2021. that's about the situation up until february, almost after the 24th of february,

i wrote only one entry. i'm waiting for alex 8. session is to go, you know, i can't say that it makes me feel better. i'm just not able to plan anything anymore. my whole life now consistently only of waiting for calls, giving me a present for a phone call, telling me that everything was fine, or that alexa was wounded or dead. yeah, so what on your on the front lines it becomes clear without giving much detail, that elect says view of the conflict has become more radical. so what do you want people to know when they see this video? one day war is how never do anything like this. it's terrible. the the

i'm about to be discharged. a friend introduced to ethan i think that's the one from austria hungry. like many young men from the to the region. he's in the army from a drawing from this file. this is made of ceramic he's agreed to be filled, although he knows that our political views default. intuitively, i think he's a good person. he just had a different life experience to me and grew up in a very conservative family. he's confident and tools openly. his only condition is that i don't show his face telling the truth about the copeland soldier skin prison or was the

just the one that we were told nothing would happen. of course, it was just like all way through sometime in february, probably between the 15th and the 20th. i don't remember exactly number they gave us cancels we were supposed to use to put our names on uniforms. the next. and then the deployment of troops began 300 to 400 kilometers away. and from there we marched on too much of the financial websites for the 23rd of february. they congratulated us on the day of the defender of the fatherland. and then the work started straight away. first orders were given to me. what's going on his name. i bought it, which i 1st started understand how it always works. the store, so the 3 days and nights of uninterrupted action,

changing posts on which were gradually realize what's going on, who, who got to go with the nimble for us though we weren't afraid after a truck we chose this job. now we had to do is to go to the southeast to see if this firing at least you can hear it and see it or the so i am trying to react you any here, drones at the last moment to the very small you can't see them when they're still far away and you don't see the unmanned aerial vehicles because i have flying high up in the air. so for the, for what is it was it doesn't matter what you know, think it was for, for some cold or other school with a special operations. so that, that doesn't change anything. it's one and the same or no matter what it's cool,

it's just a different name and nothing else on the. so for most people in the region support solution and he's special operation. the, i can't express my opinion if i want to continue filming without trouble from the authorities. propaganda is every way in the media and is also spread by the local authorities. here today, the city of vision, the violet chalka, is putting on an impressive demonstration to support our president and also our boys are to for a new cray. no. right. we came to show everyone that we stand together and that we will never give up our national values that you most of the top dogs.

the maria is even small, that she was born in ukraine when it was still part of the soviet union. like many russians, she's a hotline who supports the war and president wooten. i'm not sure if maria knows my true stance on the war and ukraine. it's like, i have a female putin in front of me. a few, a product of the criminal mass propaganda like her son. she talks openly in front of my camera. i can ask a direct, even provocative questions. a level we're noted for only with ukraine,

but with the whole world. we're not fighting against it, but we are an opposition to it. maybe not for the all countries, but definitely with the western european countries. we're disrupting them and they want to destroy what causes disruption. but either way, it's about our defense problems, which hasn't much of a shape. the, the commemoration is on victory. tanks occupying important place in rushes collect to consciousness. they celebrate brushes, victory over the nonsense, and what we call the great takes you off the pool image 20, and so the citizens died. the given the con conflicts, i'm curious. if the 9th of may, 2022 will be celebration differently. the traditional highlight of the day is the

much the more for regiments to take part in the procession. one print social social over performing relative of soldier from the great patriotic war. and then the touch is the peach and to stick the when i was younger, i keep punch in the precision myself. with my great grandmother's portrait, she managed to escape the siege of leningrad and survive. one of my memories of her is that she always painted a lunch down to the last from down to the break from scott to the table. she told me that means the hung up in the

on this nonsense may the mississippi and be every way. but many don't know what they mean. these lessons, which appeared at the beginning of the ukraine invasion, arose from association with orange and black colors from saint george's, written symbolizing victory as in nazi germany. the symbols of the past and present fused into one, creating an alternative vision. but this is propaganda. the this memorable day is with a huge fireworks display in scott, pages book, a shiver runs down my spine. the sounds of the explosions. remind me of the bombing of ukraine,

the back in the today of region. i may, boris maria's 2nd son. it's a boat that we put in that last night of the shell was about this big and it was packed with his truck know like this bars also asked me not to show his face. he had a decent job, but decided to follow his brother who was already at the front because of his ukrainian roots from the don't bus. he sees that his juicy to fight for his homeland is quite critical of the special operation. but the leads and the rebus of a great russia of the, the english, but also for others to know you don't like it would be good if a person has encouraged to see the situation for himself on the ground. then he

would realize how screws we, uh, let's just say the least of the soldiers on the ground. i mean for fucking up late is that the top i told that everything is going great and he's concerned, but that's not the reality because the specific government of it's the same with the army is equipment and weapons between the guys there for example, have no body armor or helmets before there are plenty of cartridges, but no ammunition quite some issue there. so unless you, so i think that those, that the toddlers don't may not present in a given by the commanders on sharing the whole story. what am i supposed to i guess that's to unfortunately, in my opinion, my nissan told him does not have a good team of his own. that has been fighting on 2 fronts all his life. that's almost like an external front end. on the internet front of ours, the stars,

the country nowadays is ruled by the guards whose interest is not the welfare of our country continued. they are working only to feel their own pocket. it's called globalization to friday. just ask for our government, i always say that give me a good grenade launcher and i'll take them all down. oh, by them so that the system of government will probably have to change it as well. but how it's hard to say, and it's unlikely that history will repeat itself and we'll get another minor key. but we definitely need some kind of iron fist on of the, to me and for most people, critical of the regime. it's clear that the do not certification of ukraine is not the real reason for the war. fusions main concern is restoring the former glory of the us. the sauce and the russian empire cushion ceased himself as the news and the father of the nation. many russians suppose him because he makes them feel proud,

and they arise, embodies the return of the great russia of the past. television propaganda promotes the idea that wisdom countries want to see the end of russia. they say a special operation is the answer to this, right? the, i want to find out how many soldiers from my beach and died at the front. but i quickly realize that it's impossible to get reliable because as the number of casualties is constantly rising, the nikisha was killed by a drunk. he was 32 years old. the

his mother and sister are in deep booming. i learned if he's dead through one of his friends i'm told of reno physically to tell his story on camera, the a 33, and what a one morning he said to our mother and will. so that's analysis of e as a whole. just as mother looked at him and asked what mamma he replied, i am going to go into battle now you have the political blue, but it's the blue. not it was on may 17 images 10 o'clock in the morning. my mother called me to check and was so hysterical that at 1st i couldn't understand what she was

saying. i'm glad if she was shouting so loudly answered the phone you seem to come on when she said that she had received a call from the military or to swim, come, i knew instantly that it wasn't the good news, but don't just call out of the blue i couldn't understand it at all at 1st telling, and you feel a dozen didn't cried nibble no everyone around me was crying dumpster flush, though i didn't said a single tear because i just didn't believe it with me because i saw no, you can't be it simply can't be mine the key to ask you to always paid attention and was careful. couldn't have died there bluff those, let them fly in you. when you move by you lose the, you know, long has it been so and it will be 6 months. so it's,

i can't believe at all, and i'm still waiting for a call from him as long. i haven't deleted our last conversation on watson and be there till my last message to him as only one check mark. i can't delete it, had won't do it. and it'll cut us and speaking with the carrier, the only consolation is that he didn't suffer for a long to. so new, he probably didn't even realize what was happening. a new, all of a sudden, everything was over plus the, so the, in the middle of some of the local authorities hold of gathering in on of nikita

you celebrated as a full national hero. once again, propaganda is using the suffering of people to justify most of those policies. on february 24th 2022 russian president vladimir putin announced a special military operation in connection with the situation in the done best. to ensure russia's national security, the skis like the russian military users, putting on a role with effort during the special military operation in the done bodies settled . well, today we're unveiling a plaque in honor of our fellow citizen, the key test berrydunn who has been awarded the order of valour origin, the most the

to the best to get this flux is placed in remembrance directly opposite l flat, which lies proudly and honorably overall land over allergies. but i'm not sure the i'm already starting to get used to this. it's like, i don't feel anything any more. the more exhausting and absurd. it gets to move my brain shuts off. so that i don't go crazy

the, this will reminds me of the was in the middle ages with brothers killed each of them as a succession to try and because of patients will, ukrainians will never consider russians as brothers. again, the, what about russians themselves? how did they feel about attacking the neighboring country with some of them even have family. the special operation is being carried out against people who are subs like us. russians like the 2 and we are russians. we share the same mentality and that plays

a big crone. everyone is holding out until the end of fighting temperature. and this of course makes it very difficult to progress and liberate the area because you are brother nations. after all we should be friends before. but in fact, we're at warning, and that's not ok. absolutely not. to joyce one human being kill another human being to for what purpose? kate said, for what purpose? sure. just because some guy above him said he should do it to the store, to go to and then he goes and does it stand sure. trucks consult, cannot this, do you see, don't you have a mind of your own adventure? and that's the assumption or yeah, or are you just a sheep and the flock to the took off, so starts, do you just do what you're told to do?

on the return to my friend valentina, it is april. now i notice the fear in her eyes. she looks different of the russian regime, conte control information, circulation of social media. the horror stories and rule crimes of the russian troops reached the families of the soldiers. this christmas and most of them i knew that he probably wouldn't return as the person i knew nora's phone. i don't know what he did there, but i assume it was nothing good night moving. and i was very curious to see how it would all go. basically, it's just me just to,

i don't know how to justify alex's actions. if it turns out that he was involved in all this har, it would be a big test for our relationship. and of course i know his character and i am sure that he would never harmon, an armed person like what happened in boucher. so i'm not concerned about it, but if it turns out that he was in any way involved before, then i would have been completely mistaken about what kind of a man here was the news from bush. so what's your dad's in town? yes. right. and yet she knows that all came out after he left. i shall. i'm just going to the lake. i say anything about butcher. but the only later, at 1st he didn't say anything about it on the screen. and just after some research, i discovered a soldier from his unit was near bucetti. i'm never sure what time you want. then i started asking questions as to what you were posted,

the, the most terrible moment. and this was to me was when i learned from the independent media about the crimes commissioned by russian troops and mario and boucher. i still cannot understand how on um, civilians can be shopped with their hands tied. the russian authorities officially claims that the master couldn't put to was a hoax. fake news. they claims that the corpse as hands were moving, that they were professional actors to anyone who contradicts the official version ends up in prison. one of my favorite position features into ya, sion is now sitting 9 years in prison for allegedly spreading false information about butcher the even saying what i'm saying right now is considered a crime in my country. i feel very uncomfortable when i see alexa again. i can't

help but ask him what he knows about butcher and more importantly, whether he was there must regarding the massacre of innocent people there. i don't know anything about that. the official come ship. we had already started to retreat at the right time. which shit, the guys who stayed in boucher told us that they had also been given the green light to retrieve. sure. i only wanted one thing. we have to leave as quickly as possible. we'll just clear alexa shows me he has no input show and had nothing to do with the crimes. i believe him that in mexico of this scale took place since unimaginable to him. the

i want to also ask boars about domestic cuz it doesn't get into it. there's the dumpster the. what about the huge burial ground that was discovered there? this village is just now it's probably the work of the ukrainians again, the so this is a tactic of as few a scam hungry because you know what, you know, but there are hundreds of people you saying the ukrainians killed their own people the you and you for the spring, yes you, they don't mess around with so what's on with the wind, it, for example, so the little girl said when they killed them on the spot, so to space, it couldn't do what it really shocks me to hear these words from boris had underestimated tomorrow, propaganda, the war has stretched in to the summer, much longer than the regime. find those who so the russian armies,

lack of preparation and organization is becoming a v as is approved. but the authorities weren't publicly admission. jennings, to dismiss testimonies keep surfacing doubts about the war a growing so you know, losing it and you're still in zip code. 32 minutes even being claims that we're ready for a 3rd world war and for the use of nuclear weapons you. but i wonder if we don't even have shelves around want as an explosive charges for a massage fee, how can we worry about using nuclear weapons? i doubt that we even have as many as i say, i don't know how this is all going to win, but so far it looks like you're, you're losing the

at the end of august, the death of mikhail gorbachev. to sickness this, an important chapter in russian history is coming to an end to me with his funeral . the idea of freedom in my country is also being laid to rest. the i was born in 1998 and gorbachev was already as a power. i only know about his achievements through the stories of those. he lives through this time of freedom and type. ukraine's independence is one of the changes that came out of that time. unlike me, many russians, even those my age, consider it a big mistake. the

return to my home town, the summer is coming to an end. the war drives of them. thanks to wisdom, military aid, your training and forces are able to take back some tower tree. jump on, you know, i understand why our guys are advancing slowly and you know, they want to stay at the civilian population and they are trying to destroy as little as possible. i can understand that. but why is nothing else being done? why aren't the bombing the railway launch along as is why did they found being left sick for recently coming down to the town is roughly 100 kilometers from key. if you, why do we allow polish weapons to be transported through every move this force come? oh, why are they not bombing the real reason there? the, the in many remote parts of russia like this

one, the army is the biggest employer, the soldiers in more than other jobs and usually would come to good conditions. the invasion of your train has changed the route completely of financial incentives still keep the families of soldiers killed at the front are also come from the site substantially . i wonder if this is meant to keep mothers and assistance from to nelson who the of the military commissary out was by our side 247. so just being opposed,

it was constantly about support payments. so that's why, you know, when we were constantly on the phone with the bullying students, everyone wanted to know how much money my mother had received. this, her phone was ringing off this whole group, which is why did they pay you? have you got the money yet? how much did you get on zillow? and many people asked directly, oh, can you lend me some marina? you're a millionaire now. yeah. and yes, the adult it would look like. and then after about 2 weeks to receive the 1st 1000000, then another 5000000 roubles. finally, a little more than 6 feet because she bought a flat with it and did a lot of other things with that is request to them. got one, and i think that's exactly what nikita would have done the dual store. that's probably what he would want to push the fuel boom, leaving and then it would cut silver of the on the 21st of september, president pollution announced the mobilization of $300000.00 additional soldiers to continue his special operation.

while not surprising. it shocked many young russians to the when the mobilization was announced, was completely hysterical. at the time i went on with my husband, i mean dor, when i heard pretend speech to the most into my mind so much that my husband spend half of the night trying to calm me down. what's in the nose at the slowness book? a store? no my cried and said, i'm not letting you go. and yeah, that they have already taken my brother away from me. it's been yeah. i won't survive another death and that my family of go post the know you sure. the then i'll go crazy because to me a problem. i can't stand it too much and you spoke with the

after 3 months on the ukrainian front, 17 as customers. finally hon alex, i service with the army has ended. they spend food, peaceful months together, rebuilding their married life box mobilization, ruins. they have plans to choose which there's no way i want to go back to the front not to the left flank or into the right flank. this is all this is that him kind of friendship is the kind of friendship, is this, you attacked our neighbors, you idiots. because of the funded so many of my friends died for

the most kids to try you crying. this is not partial mobilization. according to him, you are definitely part of the 2. you went to military training and you served for a very long time somewhat, you know, way. and you have experience in military operations. get out while there was only a partial mobilization and not a general mobilization. the where are you crying? because you won't have any luck come down. i'm still here for now is, and i'm staying here. what's the matter with you?

to know? why couldn't he just say that he was withdrawing the troops that they're just not up for it. hey, you guys have gone too far with the 2nd piece making armies. let's go home. to come down

on the 21st of september, demonstrations against the mobilization take place. the protest is mostly women who don't want this sons and husbands to become ken and folder. the this time i'm not so lucky. they arrest me. the lawyer helps me escape punishment. but now i'm registered as a political activist. the people arrested with me receive funds some more in prison for up to 15 days. who was going into a future nature, us not from the young enough them of

the one of the young men, the rest of the demonstration is taken directly to the recruitment office when he receives his draw the presents instead through the 20 to 2022, nearly 20000 people has been arrested in russia during protest against the war and by the laws ation. the announcements of mobilization had an unexpected effect. some of the potential new recruits, as well as some experience, so just want to avoid being drafted as old costs. some break their arms or legs and many dislike to leave russia. the

alexa has decided to go to catholics. tom i may see him at the end of september. every day he talks to valentino on the phone and tries to reassure, hey, how are you doing? good, i'm great. here i love you to honey. like alexa, hundreds of thousands of russians have fled the country since the war began to peruse and supposes they have. traces should be classified as foreign agents. and also now back into the country, i want to call those who fled to definitely not be allowed back into russia. i'm very harsh on them. yeah, let's pick a choice. the

as an old adults christian myself, i find it hard to understand how the church can support the school. but the russian, all the adults, bishop patriot cadell sit in a speech delivered shortly after the war broke house. the participation in the military operation, walsh is white or seen. my face in the russian church is shaken. alexei feels the same way when you go to i believe in god my name, but i don't believe in our church to put the little stuff along with the car because that's not the way it's supposed to be on the phone except yeah. all the boys say that we're moving here and look with the they always say, no, i don't believe in god's thoughts of yours,

and i don't believe in him to a new fiddle, which should have contributed as soon as they get into a life threatening situation of civil order for the 1st thing they do is pray to god that everything will turn out. all right, thoughts corner hold and okay. oh so and then when the situation is over and they've homes down, they don't believe in god again. go to sleep on 48. so here is my honestly, i don't know what all this is about. i have no idea. how can god allow such a thing to see what the church tells us is complete nonsense of shift pulling the pieces deals many young man from the fiscal bridge and have joined the army. the symmetries contact the countless new graves of phone and soldiers. but the subject is to the filming, and his symmetry can be seen as an act of provocation. close to us through the

shoulders, she just now and then came up to us and spoke to us. he was friendly about it. he had a scar on his face. he politely asked us not to take photos of the soldiers. he said that they had just come back to you just push just as good. how do you feel now that you've seen the graves with the flags? your team? i'm feeling very ambivalent on the one hand, i think, thank god, alexa is not one of them long yet. perfect. on the other hand, i would like to walk down the road and look for familiar names. i know there are some boys who fought with him here, and i would like to tell him who they are, buttons to get this. the orthodox church forces it's leadership to remain silent on the subject before this priest refused to be filled. i question to him, but the hidden camera is on your social. i'm sorry to lose your decision so many of

them are already buried here just because of them. yeah, sure. so i talk with those who have come back from the front. it was a big shift. the only thing i can say is that all those who are there and afraid are coming back is an issue. for there is pretty much a guarantee that you will return home. because a little doors to this. the english d e a has passed since i started filming, continues to rage a new crane for this ease on and far as for petune to the front. the piece to celebrate consist easy with us with another brother, the maria still believes that ukraine belongs to russia,

valentino and the lex, i don't know when they will see each other again, doesn't excite and still approach the my life has also been upside down since february 2022, the cost of the loss to me, i had to leave my home to insure my safety and the safety of the people being stealing along the film itself. to me, it is a big leak into the on many of my friends of also slid to escape mobilization. we have now sprayed all over the world. i missed my hometown, my friends, and my family. keeps thinking about the absurdity of this rule between my country and ukraine and ask myself to turn on question, what can i do? the,

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[000:00:00;00] the old. we can be the generation, the ends that feel good. malaria must die. so millions can live the this is the daily news logs from the land president for a lot of mr. lansky confirms ukraine's council offensive is underway. he says the action is taking place,