comes to the budget also is sufficient to every day use read 60 minutes on there. he wants to know what makes the janet justin janet loved on binding thing step away from the spot. i'm not even allowed to go to my own car and everyone was later holes in every single day stuff getting you ready to meet the gym and then join me, right. just do it on dw, the the

consensus talked to about the type of the $28.00 punch, right? it says, and sometimes it's exhausting. trying to find an in about an estimate on in the home life can be exhausting. listening to people talk about pet t saying slight, very important i could screen, but what good with that to it is me. it's like jumping back and forth between 2. well, the and mcadam shipping cost, it's okay to enjoy yourself and just to now start. but dealing with life and dest, you have to process it with the con, distraught to telephone, from the field on november, november the full, every time i come to the hospice, i'm filled with the kind of joy. it's not less easy to talk about. so it's just anybody is picking them time kind of nice to meet you don't the time drowning an infinite sadness when i'm alone. but i do think about it

a lot. and i think i find positive energy in difficult situations as well as in happy one that i because barbara always says, learn how nice that you're here. and every time i think to myself, how nice that i get to be the yeah. of the a hi. it's been johan, i'm it and i'm present in the hi i'm yeah, one is the new present us the dvd ash. 021 grams. so what does 21 grams refer to? that's roughly how much the human soul might weigh. it's not scientifically prove, and of course that's not what it needs and lots of rooms for what. what does that leave room for? oh,

crap. okay. the ones we want to make dash less of it today and we want to talk with you about things. people don't usually like to talk about time. so again, i'm a companion for the dying, which means that i'm always standing at the crossroads between life and death name or to. i've been doing this for 7 years now and i have the feeling this way cuz put way more intensity to how i'm living. because without the desk there's no life waiting also to go through stuff alone. on top of that, i've also lost in siblings. so death is always played a big role for me. and then with my grandfather will. so i was 11 when he died and saw this decline, the other really alive man, before did so many things changed within just 2 months. i was there for all that. so that's been my experience with that so far, how you say you were at the funeral to be adding home about i was at the funeral and i saw him for the last time for the 2 weeks before he died. i visited him for the last time. it was already pretty far gone. how could request a lot? he talked about his mother. he didn't really recognize any one any more,

but he was still alive and still present somehow. or why his own grief helps us to see feelings more clearly and sense most subtle, and you won't always get mixed because grief doesn't begin with the death of a person. so grief, all the dislike, guess is a fact of life that accompanies us. it was your dislike. i accompanied an 8 year old girl who lost a 12 year old sister to bone campsite fund on dublin. so i joined the family rights house to the day to come by and that was with n r. i noticed that she was sometimes the police side for a moment, a moment and then she was okay, got you divided so we go back to play a piece of intel up with this like she jumped from one pool of sadness to the next box and then often it's the case with us adults that we think of just such a well of grief, but we can't get house events, we will mess drown and it didn't because i definitely noticed that some major differences between children and adults of oxen on all the,

on the estimate assessed by the end for a few weeks. i've seen a company in mandy who has a serious health conditions now soon she will die. he's on the waiting list for hospice bed of on demand vice funds divide, so i'm good. all right, so let's move. i was wondering about your bucket list or i would have called a wish list of, of what you call a bucket list in there. for instance, tom. yeah, it's quite a funny story. i saw a movie wants to fill stuff to her in the hospital and they said to themselves, hey, i still have certain things that i would like to do or has the field before i kick the bucket, to go home and they still up before she moved up to them and then it became so clear to me a pocket list which of those things that i would still like to do before i kick the

bucket, to move up to the top feeder that you have so many were 40 or 42 right. now, wow, now, and 2 of the ones that just codes you've done those. exactly. i to feel the or shape them somehow. it was sort of and it was funny in the beginning when you think about it for it. so what do you really want to do or experience in your life or something where it's like, there were a couple of things where i thought to myself as well, hello. this might be exactly what i want from life done. what would happen, for example, i'd like to eat fresh strawberries or fly? i thought that would never really happen. then suddenly i found myself sitting in an ultralight airplane. and it was like, wow, well, because flying me kind of means interesting to me. or probably because i had a near death experience, i felt this kind of freedom then to be honest, i'm springs. i had good her from this and how does it? i felt some of that again and this out for lifetime,

just existing between heaven and that was really fascinating for me to finish for some, you know, talk the season. when did you start writing all that down? just a moment of action for the no ma'am. then let's 9 gleeful list immediately off to my last surgery from which was when i decided not to undergo any more surgeries. and that was a very major operation district where they had to be super late me 4 times. and it became very clear to me like no, i've had a total of 11 life saving hot interventions guys, but that's enough. and in the same breath, so to speak, i decided to take this palliative rosure to those, and also to pursue these wishes. so if i could list of what i'd like to do the star test, if i said you've already had a near death experience, um, how does, what do you think happens after death and told me no, it's for me for the stuff. what about sort? well, i'm totally convinced that i know because i missed the death experience. i didn't

see a bright light tunnel like some people to. i saw myself dying from a box for me it was completely bizarre because i could hear and feel this crazy alarm sound. coming from the marta i could field and this is 5th. but at the same time there was also a complete stillness total silence. so it was completely quiet and noisy at the same time, and there was also the total piece. i noticed that i no longer had any questions. i also had this strange, 360 degree view without having to move in any particular way. that's what this come give yet, and it became clear to me that in the end the 1st thing would be one mail. and i noticed that before and then it was clear, well, hello, there you go. and my fear of death immediately vanished off to this near death experience phone number on the

the, the money you take about item is gone. yeah, yes. it's going about that. that's what i'd like to ride the road a coaster. okay. okay. but that was pretty cool. too yeah. as to april, the 11th, i meant hello, i said children's bereavement, great. i was leading dismissal. i to a few months before her big sister died of bone cancer. she was only 12 and it was 8 years old. and somehow we instantly clicked. and since then i have a company, the family show through that grief joy and i'm going to get those items to, to move forward with tell me what you're planning placed and done. reading the document. yeah. okay. i'm yeah, i just have your mind,

i have my dissertation tell the guys, and we also have, i'm interested in the agency of terminally ill children to nephew to vanish. and because i think that children onto involves nearly enough in this whole process when it comes to therapy meshes and just being included in the whole decision making process. it seems as though it is okay and talk to i think you should definitely let the kids have their so it's gonna be deed of course you could also consider the parents perspective, the design other actually assessing how equipped to their children or to decide on these issues i'm ready to non so it but the children should definitely be involved . you should ask about their opinions and wishes and also about agency that with whom i got some vendors and all that. do you think that if i a company different families? so my doctoral thesis now for a few months. so for a year then i might get to many different perspectives because no 2 families are aligned to the the i'm the, i'm glad i then somehow incorporate them all come talk to me. know, would that still be scientific enough for them? assistance offers them, you know, the best contact,

qualitative social research is really going into depth, not taking a broad approach to fill it. and then it becomes less about having as many cases or families as possible. and more about looking at what are the very concrete, subjective issues that come up and asking a terminally ill child these questions of interest to been done. and if you do that over a long period of time, you go, you will need significantly fewer cases. then if you were to just conduct a series of interviews, so i would 1st wait until you have the research design and abuse, and then you can look at the next steps to start. how many families do you need to answer your questions, find something that will be decides to identify since june, the 15th. the thing for me that still inexplicable is how the time i spend in the hospice is imbued with them. i loved a cool, nice, gentle rhythm of nice weather adagio, presto, mine arrow major. everything's held together by a structure, everything interact just with everything else. it's like the values that we define

to, man. i'm increasingly aware of the emotional depths that sign codes based in the word itself and its inhabitants. hassan got us. this is, this is i feel very, very comfortable here. i just have to say that over fee is i had to just go on. although i can't say exactly why i simply feel comfortable here. i feel like coming good hands, you know, good of the somebody for me. i never used to feel this way, but eventually it's a relevant whether i still have 3 months or only for another 2 years from that. it's just not important. you said you decide, i'm enjoying this time that i have now like this is, it's beautiful because all the things that i have suffered in my cost don't matter anymore than this versus a device. this is how was it for you to grow up in an alternate gmc goes to say, it doesn't shape me a lot. for example, because of that experience. i didn't want to come here. i didn't want to come to this hospice life isn't very easy. is it for you this too much ahead of you?

you don't even know it yet. so that's something else that's good for me. i'm gonna look, there's not much that can happen to me anymore, but i see on them. are you afraid of death because it doesn't sound like it's only well? no, not at all. especially since i was told that my dad would be simply losing my strength, losing the desire to do anything with the sort of you the said it would be like slowly saying good bye to life and falling asleep. when the i'm and i will not resist this study, this was this almost, i think that death comes when it's supposed to come on. and that is quite reassuring to main transfer with the mind like in

the the each oh by the applied to on the side to be b. as in boston, the

and then 20 to august, august the 21st i'm leaving a message to me personally is supporting the people here and making their lives most beautiful because we so i want to put a smile on their faces and enjoy life with them to the fullest or as much as possible. life is so precious and we only get one. even if he knows it's incredible . we assume you should still make every my minutes and unforgettable body. some of them. maybe i'm taking on a bit too much for. but that's my goal. notice and you should always have a goal. and so i don't mind seeing how ok. so i think these need to go back. yeah, i said no, yes i had the same. so when i saw that it somehow doesn't fit to to, that's what will come, where do these blocks come from? the big is cutting meta. there's only the pink one here now. for me, that's

a little too so. so when a guy understand bouncing off, it was really fun of some again, one's gonna exactly. so we're looking at one of those visits of measuring it like this? yes. okay. as positive matches look good. i work on the truck, us to very good. yes. great. then very so i'm just clicking that and then i'm excited to talk about the back cover. take 6. we can think about the design is the back cover to hopefully look side to mit twisting. come then, then maybe we can look at the whole phone bill. in this paragraph, it's important to me that these 10 insides come across, even stronger. does it? does it seem as if the books about coming, okay, this of us versus pool? so, and it's not just and the people dealing with them and then remember to be signed conductress is as you always put it so beautifully. people who are

dealing with death don't need to take a mindfulness cooling. yeah. yeah. kind of does, instead of a guess, i don't want to write this book. i need for people who have confronting desk right now, but for everyone, because this is a subject, this effect so, so the thing went to die at some point. and that's why it's so important to somehow deal with the subject before hand. it's what i answered when dest eventually happens, it wouldn't be as difficult to manage the a boot store brace last. a cool, that's totally sweet of you. 8 after that, so in your bucket the yes and the fresh from random bug look really fresh to thank you very much on chris, about one right now. i'd love one. great. so it's good to say i haven't eaten

strawberries for ages. so yes, that was a great idea of yours. my place. yeah. please eat there is still plenty in the town . yes, that's great. i always loved them as a child to my grandmother had a huge god and back then, i'm from the 3rd. if it was filled with strawberries and cards, things like that and i was just really present whenever i was the you don't the find me in the god. and as i thought also it also has a lot to do with your childhood, right strawberries. so do you want people 2 weeks to please at your funeral level or does or what do you think about it? so you want us to go, some people really like things like that. so you, for example, i could totally imagine people drinking coffee at my funeral. i think that's kind of cool because i also like to drink coffee all the time. i think it's been like i'll be downstairs and some to do to you can drink something. this

doesn't time for me, so then i'm not quite sure about it. i mean, usually i don't where black guy may come to. so should i take some of again, that name? is that okay? this much so far? yeah. fair cool. very cool. it's somehow much smaller than i expected to ask about . okay, so look so much bigger on tv. oh. of the diesels, in line with a 27 year old onto the company. the diameter. yes. and then i got that question fairly often. and i always think to myself, why wouldn't i miss as the bottom it? why is the scene is something that's a peculiar? yes. yes, it's something that everyone finds so difficult and they say, hey, why you doing this? why are you dealing with such a heavy subject to such a young, a man table for me?

for me it doesn't feel heavy for me, it's more of a question of why isn't this a normal thing for us to date on this issue? just forgot something i just don't because i want these with teeth for me on this day this that instead of relationships. leah martin, this emptiness, i'm fine and just being in this pure existence who dies line, i think that's what makes me feel even more relies. i'm scared less high. china. i've got lucy here. yeah. it's just way too much going to flour, but we don't have to cool of it. let's see. you know,

that's right. you can type some out. so much color flour didn't know what to do with so much cauliflower. i think i took it to the overestimated it. when. okay, no stress yeah, yeah. nonsense, i'm. i made the 19th. he passed away on speakers. they said he wouldn't peacefully in his sleep. i know it must have been a relief for him to find any guys, but it still has the mazda, i go to visit with him full time side design. his eyes were always shining until he couldn't type in the many more. then he was just sleeping, speechless, mixed only later did i realize how much these meetings had changed me. the interplay of life and death accompanies us every day. we don't want to acknowledge whether somebody, unless dest directly affects us, or someone in our family media. you bought this,

this was still ringing my ears. he was never afraid of death thought he was only afraid of lines for them. leave him. why not be there you go. thanks. have a good flight for 14. okay. and then please check in with ms. britsky in room 13 to see if he's ready. i know i'm bringing you not just sitting here. this looks delicious. missus. shiva calls, oh my god god, it always sounds delicious. this is fantastic, right. wow. just great. i had hoped for this. i think you requested a star, i guess with potatoes in him. yes. because identification today's friday. right. it smelled like face, didn't it? and i was like, yeah, yes, that's much better. now let's tend towards meet them. i can make sure everything is the my milk is this, so everything is good. we've got everything. yes,

of course. good. thank you. should phone up and see. see you later by accident on november, november the 18th. every now and then i experience moments of doubts. even though i'm set this, i found my life cooling, working in a hospice. there are also times when i feel pushed to my limits and bring it into. i wonder if i can really do this. come accompany people on that journey. i understood so quick like well, we're christening the book. congratulations . thank you. is like september the 6 inch thick from time to time when i forget to when my name tag, people asked me how long i has been a patient to you. the total cost is my own fault because i deliberately shaved my hat, but with my heart uplift the lesson. i've been thinking of shaping my head down to

3 millimeters for a while. you probably just through now this i've actually done it. i feel a lot more feminine than i did before, simply because it feels so much more comfortable. so if you want to feel it, maybe i'm always looking to do something extreme extreme because we tava since then, so april, the 16th a musical often noun in the hospice, the year is the last and the sense to reopen to stop functioning. apart from that music trans thoughts so much more than just a few notes. it's beautiful to see when it looks something in a person's mind and causes memories to come flooding back. now yes, i'm the guy with arkansas now for version blowing vision mission yet. so to me it looks great. wow. and so this is the nazareth lookout no

rights and may the 13th the she was asleep. i sat down with her intuitively and started to speak on shore. if she could tell me or not, it's not me, it took her hands and started to cry. i could not understand how such a special person could be destroyed by this disease. that defense in the corners of her mouth turned up and she pressed my hands tightly to her heart time. i can't remember a moment in my life that was as full of looms, love and energy as this one is. uh, the uh, let's how good truman. and if it was funny, you think so. i really like you to so call me right and just type say what do you think about the streaming for a little behind? why here, man. well then you can just like to. so last of it that, that works out maybe ok and or sadness or even just to feel really happy because i

still saw it because sometimes it's just nice to scream at all. okay. but then you also have to join and the

news log in and still economical the new z all the home that goes all out on hybrid technology of in addition to the s o t. yes, comfortable. but is it also efficient to every day use? read?

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