say read it to changing a meaningful task. that's just like the we've got some hot tips for your bucket list, the magic corner check hot spot and some great culture on the board. us to boat w travels off, we go the, the, the

consensus, talk to about the type of the 28 franchises. and sometimes it's exhausting, trying to find in, in about an estimate on in the home. life can be exhausting. listening to people talk about pet t thing looks like they're important if i could scream. but what good would that to them? it was me, it's like jumping back and forth between 2 well the and mcadams spring close. it's okay to enjoy yourself. and just to now start, but dealing with life and dest, you have to process it. you con, distraught to telephone from this field on november, november the full. every time i come to the hospice, i'm filled with the kind of joy. it's not that easy to talk about, so it's just anybody's picky them. time comes with nice to meet you and all the

time drowning and infinite sadness when i'm alone. but i do think about just a lot, and i think i find positive energy in difficult situations as well as in happy one that i because barbara always says, learn how nice that you're here. and every time i think to myself, how nice that i get to be the yeah. of the a. hi, it's been johan, i'm it. and i'm present in the hi. i'm yeah. when is the new present us the dvd ash? 021 grams. so what does 21 grams referred to? that's roughly how much the human so my way, it's not scientifically prove and of course that's not true, but it needs the most of rooms for what. what does it leave room for?

oh, crap. thank if the ones we want to make dash less of it today and we want to talk with you about things. people don't usually like to talk about. so i'm still gonna be the, i'm a companion for the dying, which means that i'm always standing at the crossroads between life and death lead to i've been doing this for 7 years now. and i have the feeling this way cuz put way more intensity to how i'm living. because without death, there's no nice already and also be the stuff on the one on top of that. i've also lost in siblings. so death is always played a big role for me. and then with my grandfather go, so i was 11 when he died and saw this decline, the other really alive, man who did so many things changed within just 2 months. i was there for all of that. so that's been my experience with that so far. how does you say you were at the funeral home about i was at the funeral and i saw him for the last time for the 2 weeks before he died. i visited him for the last time. he was already pretty far

gone. how did request a lot? he talked about his mother and he didn't really recognize anyone anymore. but he was still alive and still present somehow. or why his own grief helps us to see feelings more clearly and sense most subtle. and you will know as much because grief doesn't begin with the death of a person. so what grief all of you, just like this is a fact of life. the 2 companies that are just like i accompanied an 8 year old girl who lost a 12 year old sister to bone campsite fund on dublin. you know, i joined the family right off to the desk to come and sit by and other with n r. i noticed that she was sometimes deeply sad for a moment a moment and then she was okay again it's been divided so we go back to play a piece of intel up with this. like she jumped from one pool of sadness to the next box, and often it's the case with us adults that we think of just such a well of grief. but we can't get house events. we almost drowned and it didn't grow up. i definitely noticed that some major differences between children and adults of oxen and all

the on the estimate assessed for them for a few weeks. so i've seen accompanying mandy who has a serious health conditions now soon she will die. she's on the waiting list for hospice bed of on demand vice funds divide, signed yet. right. so let's just, i was wondering about your bucket list or i would have called a wish list and we're going to call it a bucket list in there, for instance, tom. yeah, it's quite a funny story. i saw a movie wants to fill stuff to her in the hospital and they said to themselves, hey, i still have certain things that i would like to do or has the field before i kick the bucket, to go home and they still, before she moved up and then it became so clear to me a bucket list,

which was those things that i would still like to do before i kick the bucket, to move up to the top feeder that you have so many or 40 or 40 to right. now. wow. and all the ones that just codes you've done, those has to exactly i to feel the or shape them somehow almost all the time. it was funny in the beginning, when you think about it 1st thing, what do you really want to do or experience in your life or something like they were a couple of things where i thought to myself as well hello. this might be exactly what i want from life done or what would happen. for example, i'd like to eat fresh strawberries or fly. i thought that would never really happen . then suddenly i found myself sitting in an ultra lot airplane. and it was like, wow, well, because flying me kind of means interesting to me. probably because i had a near death experience. i felt this kind of freedom then to be honest, irish things i had good her from this. and how does it felt some of that again and

this out for lifeline. just existing between heaven and that was really fascinating for me. so for me just for senior type is he's in and when did you start writing all that down? just a moment of action for the no ma'am. then let's 9 gleeful list immediately off to my last surgery from which was when i decided not to undergo any more surgeries, that was a very major operation because they had to do super late me 4 times. and it became very clear to me like no, i've had a total of 11 life saving hot interventions disguised. that's enough. or i didn't the same bread, nice, so to speak. i decided to take this palliative rogia to this and also to pursue these wishes. so if i could list of what i'd like to do, and i still haven't got their final searching for ready had a near death experience. um, how does, what do you think happens after death and told me no, it's been for the stuff. what about sort while i'm totally convinced that i know

because in this new test experience, i didn't see a bright light tunnel like some people too. i saw myself dying from a box for me it was completely bizarre because i could hear and feel this crazy alarm sound. coming from the marta i could field and this is 5th. but at the same time there was also a complete stillness total silence. so it was completely quiet and noisy at the same time. and there was also the total piece. i noticed that i no longer had any questions. i also had this strange, 360 degree view without having to move in any particular way. that's what this come give yet, and it became clear to me that in the end the 1st thing would be one mail. and i noticed that before and then it was clear, well, hello, there you go. and my fear of death immediately vanished off to this near death experience phone number on the

the, the money you take about it and it's gone. yes, it's going about that. well, i'd like to ride the road a coaster. okay. okay. but that was pretty cool too. yeah. as to april, the 11th, i may tell her i said children's bereavement, great. i was leading just reply to a few months before her big sister died of bone cancer. she was only 12 and it was 8 years old. and somehow we instantly clicked. and since then i have a company the family show through that grief, joy, i'm dying gum. yeah. does ita sits in her folder?

tell me what you're planning. lice than done reading the document. yeah. okay. i'm yeah, i just have your mind. i have my dissertation. so bad guys, and we also have, i'm interested in the agency of terminally ill children to nephew to venus. and because i think the children on to involve nearly enough in this whole process when it comes to therapy meshes and just being included in the whole decision making process. but since it's going to do it is i can tell you, i think you should definitely let the kids have their so it's gonna be deed of course you could also consider the parents perspective, the design other actually assessing how equipped to their children or to decide on these issues i'm going to non so what the children should definitely be involved. you should ask about their opinions and wishes and also about agency though it's noon. oh my god. so based on that, do you think that you find a company different families? so my doctoral thesis now for a few months for a year, then i might get to many different perspectives because no 2 families there were like, do the, the i'm the, i'm glad i then somehow incorporate them. oh, come talk to me. no. would that still be scientific enough for them assistant

transfers them? you know, does that conduct qualitative social research? it could be really going into depth not taking a broader approach, felt and then it becomes less about having as many cases or families as possible. and more about looking at what are the very concrete subjective issues that come up and asking a terminally ill child. these questions minutes have been done. and if you do that over a long period of time you go, you will need significantly fewer cases. then if you were to just conduct a series of interviews, so i would 1st wait until you have the research design and these, and then you can look at the next step. how many families do you need to answer your questions? thoughts of? no, that will be decided on the fine print sent on june the 15th. the thing for me that still inexplicable is how the time i spend in the hospice is employed with the menlo de cool, most gentle rhythm of life, whether adagio or presto, minor ro, major. everything's held together by a structure, everything interact just with everything else. it's like values that we define

demand, i'm increasingly aware of the emotional depths that signed could base in the world itself and, and its inhabitants. and so i've got this, this is, this is, i feel very, very comfortable here. i just have to say that over fee is i had to just go on. although i can't say exactly why i simply feel comfortable here and feel like coming good hands, you know, good old school. that's always for me. i never used to feel this way, but eventually it's irrelevant whether i still have 3 moms or only for another 2 years for that. it's just not the important thing to do to try. i'm enjoying this time that i have now like this is, it's beautiful because all the things that i have suffered in my cost don't matter anymore than this, that versus a developer. this is how was it for you to grow up in an alternate gmc goes to say, it doesn't shape me a lot. for example, because of that experience. i didn't want to come here. i didn't want to come to

this hospice life isn't very easy. is it for you this too much ahead of you? you don't even know it yet. so that's something else that's good for me. i'm gonna look, there's not much that can happen to me anymore, but i see on them. are you afraid of death because it doesn't sound like kids phone me wrong? no, not as old as an, especially since i was told that my dad would be simply losing my strength of losing the desire to do anything with the sort of you the said it would be like slowly saying good bye to life and falling asleep when the i'm and i will not resist this study this, this is only, i think that death comes when it's supposed to come on. and that is quite reassuring to main transfer with the

mind like most of the god. oh, by the applied to the site to be b. as in the boston, the

item 20 to august august the 21st i'm leaving a message to me personally is supporting the people here and making their lives most beautiful because we so i want to push a smile on their faces and enjoy life with them to the fullest or as much as possible. life is so precious and we only get one. even if he knows it's incredible . we assume you should still make every my minutes and unforgettable quality. some of them. maybe i'm taking on a bit too much for. but that's my goal. notice and you should always have a goal. and so i don't mind seeing how ok. so i think these need to go back. yeah, i said yes, i had the same. so when i saw that it somehow doesn't fit to, to, that's what will come, where do these blocks come from?

the big data. there's only the pink one here now, to me, that's a little too so, so we need to understand down. so, you know, really fun up some again, one can exactly. so we're looking at windows of nearing it like this. yes. okay. as positive matches look good. i work on the truck, us to very good. yes, great. then very sounds quick minute and then i'm excited to talk about the back cover. take 6, which we think about the design is the back cover to hopefully look side to mit, twisting and come then, then maybe we can look at the whole phone hold on in this paragraph, it's important to me that these 10 insights come across even stronger. does it, does it seem as if the books about coming, okay, this of us versus pool? so, and it's not just and the people dealing with this disease. so it's uh,

it's on the phone number to sign conductress is as you always put it so beautifully, people who are dealing with death don't need to take a mindfulness. cool. yeah. yeah. kind of does. instead of a guess, i don't want to write this book any for people who are confronting desk right now, but for everyone, because this is a subject this effect so, so i'm going to swing willow die at some point. and that's why it's so important to somehow deal with the subject before hand. it's what i answer it. when dest eventually happens, it wouldn't be as difficult to manage the, a boot store breeze lost a cool, that's totally sweet of you. 8 after that, so in your bucket the yes and the fresh from random bug look really fresh to

thank you very much on chris, about one right now. i'd love one. great. so it's good to say i haven't eaten strawberries for ages. so yes, that was a great idea of yours. my place. yeah. please eat there is still plenty in the town . yes, that's great. i always loved them as a child to my grandmother had a huge god and back then, i'm from the 3rd. if it was filled with strawberries and cards, things like that. and i was just really present whenever i was the you don't the find me in the god. and as i thought also it also has a lot to do with your childhood, right? stories. so do you want people 2 weeks to please at your funeral level or doesn't? what do you think about it? so you want us to know some people really like things like that. so you for example, i could totally imagine people drinking coffee at my funeral. i think that's kind of cool because i also like to drink caufield the timeframe

depends because i'll be downstairs and the studio to can you can drink something. this doesn't time for me. so then i'm not quite sure about it as a medium. usually i don't where black guy may come to source genetics most again. victim. is that okay? this much so far? fair cool. very cool. it's somehow much smaller than i expected to ask about. okay, so look so much speaker on tv. oh. of the diesels, in line with a 27 year old ones as a company to die out of a lot. yes. and then okay, that question fairly often. and i always think to myself, why wouldn't i miss as the bottom it? why is the scene is something that say peculiar? yes, it's something that everyone finds so difficult and they say, hey, why you doing this? why are you dealing with such a heavy subject to such

a young age and table? for me? for me, it doesn't feel heavy for me. for me, it's more of a question of why isn't this a normal thing for us to date on this? it is best without something i just don't because i want these with teeth for me on this devils. when this when that instead of relationships. leah martin, this emptiness, i'm fine and just being in this pure existence, what dies line, i think that's what makes me feel even more relies squared less. hi china. i've got lucy here. yeah. this is i just way too much going to flour,

but we don't have to cool of it. let's see. the know that's right. you can type some out so much color flour. didn't know what to do with so much cauliflower. i think i turned to the overestimated it. when. okay, no stress the yeah yeah. nonsense i'm. i made the 19th. he passed away on speaker, so they said he would peacefully in his sleep. i know it must have been a relief for him to find any as the but it still has the mazda, i go to visit with him full time side design. his eyes were always shining until he couldn't type in the many more. then he was just sleeping, speechless, mixed only later did i realize how much these meetings had changed me. the interplay of life and death accompanies us every day. we don't want to acknowledge one or somebody, unless dest directly affects us. so someone in our family, amelia,

you bought this, this was still ringing my ears. he was never afraid of death thoughts. he was only afraid of lives, but i'm leaving. why not be there you go. thanks. have a good flight for 14. okay. and then please check in with ms. britsky in room 13 to see if he's ready. how do i know i'm bringing you? not sure. this looks delicious, missus. shiva? oh my god. got it always sounds delicious. this is fantastic. right. wow. just great. i had hoped for this, i think you requested a star, i guess with potatoes in him. yes. because that ended fish in today's friday. right . it smelled like face, didn't it? and i was like, yeah, yes, that's much better. now let's tend towards mesa magnesia,

so everything is the my milk is this, so everything is good. we've got everything. yes, of course. good. thank you should going up and see see you later by accident on november, november the 18th. every now and then i experience moments of doubts. even though i'm set this, i found my life cooling, working in a hospice. there are also times when i feel pushed to my limits and some things. and i wonder if i can really do this comes a company, people on that journey understood like like well, we're christening the book. congratulations . thank you. is like september the 6 inch thick from time to time when i forget to when my name tag, people asked me how long i has been to patient to you. the 2 days, of course, is my own fault because i deliberately shaved my head, but was mind

a hot uplift. the lesson i've been thinking of shaping my head down to 3 millimeters for a while. you probably just through now this i've actually done it. i feel a lot more feminine than i did before, simply because it feels so much more comfortable. so if you want to feel it, maybe i'm always looking to do something extreme. and it's extremely causal tava. since to into april, the 16th a musical often noon in the hospice, the year was the last sense to reopen, to stop functioning apart from that music transport so much more than just a few notes. it's beautiful to see when it looks something in a person's mind and causes memories to come flooding back. now, yes, i'm the fucking guy, you know, for version blown vision mission and yet so to me it looks great. wow. and so this is the nazareth and now look oh

rights and may the 13th the she was asleep. i sat down with her intuitively and started to speak on shore. if she could tell me or not it's not me. i took her hands and started to cry. i could not understand how such a special person could be destroyed by this disease. the pin send the corners of her mouth turned up and she pressed my hands tightly to her hard time. i can't remember a moment in my life that was full of looms, love and energy as this one is. uh the uh, that's how good truman. and if it was funny, you think so. i really like it. so call me go ahead and just type say what do you think about the screaming for a little behind? why you're mad on,

well then you can just like you to last of it. that's it works out maybe. okay. and we'll sadness or even just to feel really happy honestly, so sorry, because sometimes it's just nice to scream. yeah. oh, okay, but then you also have to join in. c the

time i'm tired of coughing. i can't breathe. 34 years of stressing i was

a middle cutter. i didn't know what has messed on this one. now i know the never ending story of asbestos. in 15 minutes on d. w. special edition of complex zone with tim sebastian, this is a border crossing point from moldova into ukraine. familiar with the con moment between ukraine and russia is roughly a 100 kilometers away. the big question dominates here, is where the mo, dover is to put in the next target. 90 minutes on dw, the, you'll see about the video that goes to enable other data media and legal law. give a lot of data about, again, i will stop into that and i'll give you

a go on. would you be able to order that? i'm jo made any of the water currently more people than on the move world wide in search of a better life. to jump be able to use them in a decade to mess with the guns already already a 2 megs up a piece and mid afternoon. does our pearson menissi school or is that i'm was moved to the gets expose, go to lunch when you find out about all the story info, migraines, reliable news for migrant. wherever they may be, the russians no longer need the baltic states. why should name? there's no goals. it's only just practice. at the end of the class, 7 months before russia attacked ukraine, a field team documents, daily life, the town. how are the people who are dealing with the growing tension?

they change their world frame hold on. we are with you currently know when i me insight starts drawing on dw, the, the business dw news lines from by that the prospect may have undermined the revolt against the criminal. it media report suggests wagner, group leaders, if canny pre goes in intended to capture russia's military leadership and was forced to launch his rebellion too early.