selected to use you every week and a new a box. subscribe. now. hey guys, it's evelyn charmaya. welcome to my pod cast. last matters that i advised, celebrities, influenza, and experts to talk about all playing loved data, and yet today, nothing less the south. all these things in more and the new season of the fuck. com. make sure to tune in wherever you get your thoughts costs enjoying the conversation. because you know, it's last matter the, are you a woman looking for the man of her dreams for a man looking for the man of your dreams, or perhaps the man and woman of your 3 perhaps your transgender or could care less what sexual partner is regardless of who you're looking for, relationships all have something in common. they can get pretty challenging

they can lead to fight conflict and jealousy. despite those drawbacks, most of us want a special someone, findings loving a relationship and keeping it today on in good shape. the it's nice to have friends and family to have a social network, but does it also make you healthier? is it comfortable to eating a balance, diet or regular exercise? research from the 1970s provided some of the 1st science faced clues that it is a study back then analyze data from almost 7000 people. among other topics, the researchers look to the effect of social relationships. they compared better

connected people with low layer individuals. over the course of 9 years, significantly more of the latter died in those in the socially connected group. a more recent study was more extensive analyzing statistical data from around 3000000 people. and over a much longer period of time. it likewise indicated that mortality rises with perceived loneliness. the researchers said the effect was comparable to that associated with obesity or smoking. what could be the reason? do networked people simply get more assistance when they are real help with shopping, changing bandages, or visiting the doctor? board does the higher mortality rate have. another reason, research shows that low lead people have increased levels of the stress hormone cortisol and their bodies and produce fewer immune cells. so maintaining social

connections is just as important to good health as diet or exercise. so having friends is good to be a health and dedicated partnerships usually to but not always. people who are in relationships are less likely to die prematurely. they can kick devices more easily . and in general, they smoke and drink less. on the flip side, people in partnerships tend to exercise less and gain weight, especially in the early stages of the relationship. those are still in the market will tend to pay more attention to how they looked, finding your dream. cotton isn't always easy and it can take time the world wide around $1.00 to $3.00 singles. now use online dating tools, but they don't necessarily make the planning to search any simpler. i wouldn't

choose fill it full time. i can either like millions of people around the world, maria is looking for love with digital health. online dating is a lucrative business to boom, to join the pandemic. nobody has been using data out for several years, but the sheer number of potential partners can be more of a hindrance than a help. as a see, all saw, there's a lot of choice. it's been on how it's just often overwhelming. i don't know who i should meet fast, will contact with the midst of spirals or vendor those 5. like maybe you take someone to 2 or 3 days about meeting with them and then it runs out of steam and you just never hear from them. again, the, you can invest old as time and energy and it comes to nothing above all. she's come to down. the system does talk this without the talk. so you can think about it is that everyone is very interchangeable. let me pull very superficial. a still, marie, it isn't ready to give up on dating apps just yet until now. all of the 24 year old

relationships began online after 2 months without a date. she's giving it another go. today. rituals help keep a feed on the ground. so it's like half a sip of coffee, a little perfume plus the jacket because the weather was nice today then, or if we go on was of the fact most one day she hopes to finally made the right guy . the constant searching has made her feel even more alone. she has one single wish, but the days run the bill. this tom, that's the best case. i'll come home with a smile on my face and we'll look forward to seeing him again. and if it goes well, he might text back and say he enjoyed the dates and we'd like to meet up again. but will this be the last 1st date for maria? an hour and a half later. so how did the date go, maria? i'm actually pretty well he was a little late,

but that's okay. that's kind of like the problem, but she's not installing the app just yet. when to the 1st date, you still have illusions about the past and but since then you read a locked into things. so you only get to know someone back to erupt and i said on full date, i wouldn't use the app for now, but it will stay on my phone. c and the lawyer will find out more on the next stage, which will be taking place. you know, chemistry on your date. you might want to try a new tick tock, trent the triangle method. imagine a triangle super imposed on the face of your opposite number. a point on each of the eyes, the 3rd one centered on the mouse. first look in one eye, then glanced at the mouse, followed by the other. i allegedly, the signal was clear interest to a potential partner. but maybe you weren't looking for the month of your life,

more of a casual thing, but not just the one nightstand. something in between. how about a situation here? they get along well, spend a lot of time together and or physically intimate. sounds like they've coupled up, but they haven't. so a friendship with benefits. yeah. but more than that, people in a situation ship are not just bodies, but they avoid clarifying whether they're in a relationship. is this clause evaluating over to them to go? i think it's an altima, it's a convenience relationship. all the user elements are actually present our sexuality, closeness, testing, and even to some extent going please activities. but there is no commitment and they don't make it public. well, there's also not talk about feelings and no real planning for the future, such

a historical planet. it's about enjoying that here and now with each other, but without it leading to something more permanent. so neither a relationship nor a regular friendship kind of in between. so a situation shift i could imagine that would be an option for me. why? because it's all it's casual, it's relaxed, there's no precious bundle. kind of been posted on tests on every one should decide what they prefer personally. but i like it when it's what do you find somebody special on yells? probably not for me. it's because i'd like to know where i stand, which device i just bought. i like the clarity or the market. that's why i don't think it works in the pennies for misquote kind possible self again, the people that don't want to commit to anymore. well, i'm like, that's myself. often i don't make any decisions because then i can these every single plan that often. so i can say whether that's good or bad intend,

or profile is at least searches for situation ships where 49 percent more popular than for committed relationships. relationship counselor matching a movie is also knows about the phenomenon from clients. it's gift, so gosh, young people have told me their advertising slogans and targeting the feeling when you don't want to commit to your for this. you don't have to do anything. you can just pick someone up more or less and pasting game on them for by getting my up life according to a dating up sort of a one in 10 young singles favored situation. chance is communication, the issue, a fear of firm commitment or simply the desire for more freedom. i imagine people don't want to get into obsessive relationships. thanks my goodness i if you want to leave as many options as possible, open and then like i mentioned, kind of fearing to talk about that. but sometimes lots of one people don't want to

take responsibility for themselves and their action. you must hit your tone, or avoidance is simply impossible. that's a whole some big so good for life id, because the times i'm moving so fast leave you don't want to have to rely on someone. you can just hook up with a partner for a little while and then the next one quits within partners. so you know, so dependence on one person. and so opinions from the avoiding typical relationship names can be a relief. we don't have to meet each other's parents or buy gifts for every occasion. situations yet just a loose easy label for maybe the precursor to something more. in reality, things tend to get complicated. send that so i'm just which would be to exhausting for me. and i want to know where i stand and what's going on. it's been known as the host. and that's true in this situation. shift feeling surprised quickly, but they're usually one sided. you can be hurt more quickly because they don't have

to same obligations as in a relationship why one person might feel comfortable in this situation. chip setting the other may develop a desire for something more permanent. a constellation that can make someone very unhappy when someone realizes that they're basically being led around and along these lines and their needs and not taking into account at all, well, look, safety for that. and then i can only advise that person to hit the breaks immediately. the plan there is no point does have to kind in, in order to work situation, ships have to make those partners happy. otherwise, the relationship without a label is the wrong one. how do you make that special? someone varies across the world. in the us, a lot of people say they meant the apartment through friends in a box where as many chinese men visit a dating school before trying,

they look in japan. people apparently prefer looking for potential partners in group settings. and it's also a roommate the when a brazilian woman suggests the one on one date. she means business in india and many other countries. oranges are often still arranged by parents and pre marital sex is found on that can be hard to find a middle ground, especially when people who have been raised some very different cultures, phone and love. then things can get complicated. lima, i see them as doesn't mean decoration is of love and a fine national relationship between 2 people from different cultures who are found that a family in the 3rd country challenging but also a very enriching situation. niema comes from iran, anita from lafayette. they spent a love in germany,

the asking someone at the 1st few months that disclosed you don't even notice the little stuff then seem like i always good with the well, i was feeling good. but after a certain amount of time, you start to notice a few things on familia and i've linset lumpkin. women are very direct and, and how does and seems to you that it's been dr. loud, i'm ok and then like to talk about a problem directly, he needs to go to what top 1st, then we can do that 1st you need some drama question about from will see them suddenly collision of to wells each with different socialization and family structures. fall from a simple situation and i'm going to say to the field that we had a 3rd or 4th day and he just didn't show up. when i come to sleep. so long that i go to ask what he was and he was still in bed as often as often is to see if that's just have i didn't really ever sleep on. i was late and i'm still paying the price

for that. um, i work on that, but it's basically, i would say that persians or less particular, about time and punctuality over that type of stuff. niema also have to learn that how members of a lot to be in the family conduct themselves is different than in his homeland actually spots. but i was visiting my mother in law suite and saying good bye um, but if i actually don't like moments like that's your husband's hook each of them and say a heartfelt good bye uh this. uh, this obviously that on dof us, i'm fox, but i just got to know in a couple of things, what is up to that? and that was, that was surprising to me at this is our gosh. and there's nothing that good right? yes. and when i looked at some point that it's just coming practice of garden gate, it's totally normal, absolutely, mazda, it just took me awhile to get to it. but since then, it's all been just fine skilled 1st on the phone, but the names of out to those fine people is a consensus, right? there's any place either right to left or left to right. if i still don't know exactly. that's nice and me. yeah,

this is for miss noise. this is in the way final receptor when it comes to saying hi, hug. so actually really bad. i mean, when you're really good friends and you put too much any to fuel putting it on chris sanders. i can just go in the process of being toner and on open to new things is a prerequisite for anita name is relationship. they also work together to find new rituals for their own family by bringing together cherished traditions as a sort of us. yeah, we take a little bit of everything the, the past. we celebrate person new. yeah. because of the grandparents. but of course also christmas site, but it's easy because the kids are growing up in a box and, and it's a big deal in kindergarten. so there are some left in the festivals that we also celebrate sending the like mid summer nights, mid summer, not fest so much. we do it on the, on the one hand because it's fun to mine but on the other because it helps show how others live and what you can celebrate with the making of

a living on investment or the other supplements pack them. i'll just myself, it also makes everything more interesting to children in 3 languages. cymbalta, honestly, we learning 3 coaches. i'll find law, the still constant willingness to learn that them and see how others live in. but what they do and what i can learn from them. that's what i'm the and that's something i hope we can show our children being by itself or that's the ones i can take and fall into the mainland when it never gets boring. it's interesting. there's always something new to discover a. now sometimes i realize i may have become a bit persian, and my husband has become a bit lot fee and jim and a lot to be in as in jam. and finally, it's not always easy, but there's never a dull moment. even if new lives can cause you to feel like you're on cloud 9, it won't always be plain sailing. reasons for flights often include messiness,

punctuality, money, jealousy, for driving style. fighting is just a part of having a relationship, but what's the right way to do it? relationships just wouldn't be the same without some arguments. when opposing opinions collide, some people revert to playground tactics. f of it's coming out loud with sam doors and stuff like that. the 1st one is you, i think it's ok to blow a 100 to see him now. and again. it's come to me. it's always depends on how well you have who's self under control. whether the thing is to remain calm or get to the little bit more intense, as any couples therapist would tell you arguing as part of every relationship. but the crucial thing says is data is learning how to argue because fighting can also destroy a relationship. then pauses when covered, say i can't explain myself anymore. i get furious that i feel like your enemy

i draft you by the and wants you to sit down. some lives been done. it's things like that happen often done a relationship with no longer withstand. it. clearly there are boundaries that must not be crossed violence for one, but what is acceptable during arguments and what's completely off limits. you can finish drawing stuff. it's funny, as long as that would be where i say i stop right there. so the line here, yes, the other falling asleep is not good. so i missed a big con, get to pass level a lot, even to an argument has to be disciplined. indeed. and all the good news is that you can learn disciplined ways of arguing. rules can help like setting a time or sharing feelings is important, but so is listening fun. you have to really listen and understand what the other

person is saying. instead of responding emotionally and then look at what they actually want and then throw the right conclusions, just need assistance. not something that isn't bad. i'm not saying nothing or just walking away is just a passive way to quarrel. it's not helpful. and we'll just try then, good argument. participants might maintain eye contact. shanella. i don't run out of the room and leave you sitting alone trying or unhappiness, and zones that you finish showed up. but i don't interrupt you. and very important point. i stage the subject of my argument online, describes although it's very normal to argue some couple of say they almost never do it. they have been together 10 years now and married for 3 of them too. so i guess we just started to feel like it's close

to the whole although that's what many people say they want. it isn't always proof of a good relationship. what is that when i handed my ears pick up and i think some things up, mine who blacked it's buried somewhere. well done, then one of them breaks up and says they haven't really felt heavy at the other side. for the last 10 years, i did. but it's never good talked about them. it's important not to cover up conflicts, but showing some good humor and generosity can make dealing with them easier. don't texting just seriously the 1st time it comes up, trying to reflect to my not always what it's but it's good to think about it because you know, it could escalate in by my answer to. i'm going to always lose your cool the money . i make it more fun. yeah. and so the cool head can be good for the relationship as can praise to visit them. so just as she is in your part of most of the sites

that you care for me, listen to me offer that you listen to the kids and a reliable and effect measure to give on tight. yes, that's good for everyone to hear you to mention rooted and it makes making up after a fight, easier to learning how to disagree is an important aspect of partnerships that's down the test of time. but one of the secret, so got high and successful in long term relationships. there are so many coaches, cook's tips and tutorials out there. it's amazing that people still even breakup, but lifelong love is a challenge. how do you achieve it? we asked a couple who should know? i hear you go. did you bring my pill? yeah, of course, being there for each other, having time for one another to 42 years of marriage. that's how gabriella and then play us at define the loves and talk you tonight on just the affection the love for

each other. yeah, just condos come. yes. yes, that's the apollo putney is incredibly important. what does this all a? and you'll have to be able to spend time together for putting into could and best story began fucking 1973. and i asked originally from berlin, visits with his aunt in southern germany. she was a doctor. and couple of yeah, that was a training and have practice. she knew immediately but it took on to the 6 years to make up his mind to good looks familiar to me, but i was thinking, it's time i got married. i have my job. i have to start a family sometime and then i ran into gobby and i said, i'm not letting you go and i have the executive team. and i cannot y'all exactly this fall, any option which phone call,

if it was totally spontaneous on each phone that you see here. if you thought it was because i was search and i wanted to be to get with him most nadine mentions so some indeed with everyday life things got tough up between work and raising children to begin to quarrel with increasing frequency on to questionnaire relationship. bob aust, on my so we'll go to the point that we were really at the end developed to this guy tom so much so that we said we no longer understand each other. and there's only one thing to do. split up on the ship's captain. andreas was saved for months at a time. montgomery. hannah was alone at home with the 3 kids. it simply wasn't enough time, not only for their own hobbies and interests, but also for them as a couple. best on duty and remembers volume of the home phone. they were arguing a lot, that's something you noticed as a child, like when you're already in bed and then here your parents arguing in the kitchen. i noticed that on top of that whole building a house cost the money and

a lot of energy and class ad started schiffwood, but the couple didn't want to just give up. so they went to a marriage counselor. what does that mean? asked her why she'd married maisie in monica high about it. then she just stared and i thought, oh this is like having your pants pulled down on. then she started to tell him and he said, don't tell me you tell your husband. look at him, nodded me. i'm glad to see that toby pilot, the yeah, how in virus thing is that i just have the most is the on charles. so i had to look at you soccer and tell you why we were a couple also on one device that one on the answer is of course, uh 80 something because i love this person. i loved anything in your simple realization that's kept in family together ever since. love has many emotional facets, but partnerships can also have some practical angles,

like when it comes to exercise. joseph kemp. as you all know, couples who exercise together stay together. that's why i have megan with me. so now i do a good exercise for app is called the pop not crunches and it goes like this. you sit facing each other and then you hook 2 angles together, laid down on your back. and then you roll off together until you clap your hands with your partner and they go down again. and this is the exercise to go right up. and never forget to smile once you up because like a to your up to partner. and the challenge is the one who's stuff smiling at the end, lose the game, use the exercise the

so mind to start with 50 reputations at the beginning. if you're getting on well right now, you do a sort of wraps. and if you're not getting on well right now, so to $100.00, you know, seriously, safety entails sort of, repetitions it'd be in the beginning is a good benchmark to start with to get out there and have fun by working out with your partner. see you again next week on get in good shape, bye for now. the

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of the extraordinary we are the specialist of the lifestyle europe. your romance. in 30 minutes on d, w america's at leawoodbusiness frames. the country now has more guns in people while active as lobby for stricter regulations. the number of mass shootings continues to right. is there still hole in the battle against gun violence? go on nation. in 75 minutes on the dw, the really used to be 1st page researchers and scientists

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recognizes where exactly it was fun, learned a lot of our culture history, all their travel extremely worth a visit. the this is dw news live from berlin, growing international installation for new share. the european union cuts financial and security ties over the qu, which was to be elected. president russell says it will not recognize the general.