[000:00:00;00] the consensus talk to about the type of the 28 punch rises and sometimes it's exhausting. trying to find an in about an estimate on in the home life can be exhausting. listening to people talk about pets. he thinks like they're important if i could scream. but what good would that to me? it was me, it's like jumping back and forth between 2. well the and mcadams thing, it's close. it's okay to enjoy yourself and just to now start but dealing with life

and death, you have to process it. you con, distraught. to telephone from this you tell november, november the full, every time i come to the hospice, i'm filled with a kind of joy. it's not that easy to talk about is just anybody's quickie them time kind of nice to meet, you know, the time drowning and infinite sadness when i'm alone. but i do think about it a lot and i think i find positive energy in difficult situations as well. as in happy one that i because barbara always says line how nice that you're here. and every time i think to myself, how nice that i get to be the yeah of the a. hi it's been you a honda i didn't i'm present in the hi. i'm yeah,

one is the new present us the dvd ash. 021 grams. so what does 21 grams refer to? that's roughly how much the human. so my way, it's not scientifically prove. and of course, that's not true, but it needs the most have room for what. what does that leave room for? oh, crap. thank if the ones we want to make dash less of it today, and we want to talk with you about things. people don't usually like to talk about time. so again, i'm a companion for the dying, which means that i'm always standing at the crossroads between life and death lead to i've been doing this for 7 years now and i have the feeling this way cuz put way more intensity to how i'm living. because without death, there is no life and also be the stuff of the one on top of that. i've also lost the siblings. so death is always played a big role for me. and then with my grandfather go. so i was 11 when he died and saw this decline, the other really alive,

man who did so many things changed within just 2 months. i was there for all that. so that's been my experience with that so far. how busy you say you were at the funeral home about i was at the funeral and i saw him for the last time for the 2 weeks before he died. i visited him for the last time. it was already pretty far gone. he'd regret a lot. he talked about his mother. he didn't really recognize any 1 in the morning, but he was still alive and still present somehow. or why his own grief helps us to see feelings more clearly and sense most subtle. and you're always getting mixed because grief doesn't begin with the death of a person. so agree, so just like this is a fact of life that accompanies this is your dislike. i accompanied an 8 year old girl who loves to a 12 year old sister to bone campsite fund on the been, you know, doing the family rights off to the day to come and sit by another with l. r. i noticed that she was sometimes the police side for a moment, a moment, and then she was okay, it's been divided. so we go back to play

a piece of control up with this. like she jumped from one pool of sadness to the next box and then also that's the case with us adults that we think of just such a well of grief that we call and get house events. we will mess drowned and it then goes, i definitely noticed that some major differences between children and adults of oxygen and all the on the estimate assessed for a few weeks. so i've seen accompanying monday who has a serious hot conditions down soon. she will die. he's on the waiting list for hospice bed of on demand vice funds divide, signed it. but that's what i was wondering about your bucket list, or i would have called the wish list of, of what you call a bucket list in there. for instance, tom. yeah, it's quite a funny story. i saw

a movie wants to fill stuff to her in the hospital and they said to themselves, hey, i still have certain things that i would like to do or has the field before i kick the bucket, to go home and most of the force and the people and then it became so clear to me a bucket list, which of those things that i would still like to do before i kick the bucket, to move up to the top feeder that you have so many or 40 or 40 to right now. wow. and 2 of the ones that just codes you've done those to exactly. i to feel the or shape them some houses almost all the time. it was funny in the beginning, when you think about it, what do you really want to do or experience in your life or something where it's like they were a couple of things where i thought to myself as well, hello. this might be exactly what i want from life government for to happen. for example, i'd like to eat fresh strawberries or fly. i thought that was never really happened

. then suddenly i found myself sitting in an ultralight airplane. and it was like, wow, well, because flying me kind of means interesting to me or probably because i had a near death experience. i felt this kind of freedom then to be honest, irish things i had good her from this. and how does it felt some of that again and this out for lifeline. just existing between heaven. and that was really fascinating for me to finish fussing me and heart disease. and and when did you start writing all that down? just a moment of action for the no ma'am. then let's my little list immediately off to my last surgery from which was when i decided not to undergo any more surgeries. that was a very major operation issue with a head to the super late me 4 times. and it became very clear to me. like no food was i've had a total of 11 life saving hot interventions guys, but that's enough. or didn't the same bread. so to speak,

i decided to take this palliative rogia to those and also to pursue these wishes. so if i could list of what i'd like to do, and i'm starting the final set, you've already had a near death experience. um, how does, what do you think happens after death and told me no, it's been for the stuff. what about sort? well, i'm totally convinced that i know months because i missed the death experience. i didn't see a bright light tunnel like some people to. i saw myself dying from a box for me it was completely bizarre because i could hear and feel this crazy alarm sound coming from the marta. i could field and this is 5th. but at the same time, there was also a complete stillness total silence. so it was completely quiet and noisy at the same time. and there was also the total piece. i noticed that i no longer had any questions. i also had this strange 360 degree view without having to move in any particular way. this is come give yet, and it became clear to me that in the end the 1st thing would be one male. and i

noticed that me from and then it was clear, well hello, there you go. my fear of death immediately vanished off to this near death experience phone, contact number on the the the you take it by phone. yeah. yes. it's going to that that's what i'd like to ride the road. acosta. okay. but that was pretty cool too. yeah. as to april, the 11th, i may tell her i said children's bereavement,

great. i was leading these middle i to a few months before her big sister died of bone cancer. she was only 12 and it was 8 years old. and somehow we instantly clicked. and since then i have a company, the family show through that grief, joy and dine gum euros. ita sits in her folder. tell me what you're planning. lice than done reading the document. yeah. okay. i'm yeah, i just have your mind. i have my dissertation so bad. guys, and we also have, i'm interested in the agency of timely, of children to nephew to vanish. and because i think that children onto involves nearly enough in this whole process when it comes to therapy meshes and just being included in the whole decision making process. it seems as though it is i can tell you, i think you should definitely let the kids have their so it's gonna be did. of course, you could also consider the parents perspective, the design, other actually assessing how equipped to their children or to decide on these issues nobody to non so it but the children should definitely be involved. you should ask about their opinions and wishes and also about agency that with whom i

got. so based on that, do you think that you find a company different family? so my doctoral thesis now for a few months for a year, then i might get to many different perspectives because no 2 families there were like, do the other than glad i then somehow incorporate them. oh, come talk to me. no. would that still be scientific enough? for them, assistance drafters them, you know, does that come, that qualitative social research is really going into depth, not taking a broad approach, a feel of felt and then it becomes less about having as many cases or families as possible. and more about looking at what are the very concrete, subjective issues that come up and asking a terminally ill child these questions into the seminar. and if you do that over a long period of time, you will need significantly fewer cases then if you were to just conduct a series of interviews. so i would 1st wait until you have the research design and use, and then you can look at the next step. how many families do you need to answer your questions, find something to that will be decided on the front of me. for instance,

june the 15th. the thing for me that still inexplicable is how the time i spend in the hospice is imbued with them. i loved a cool, nice, gentle rhythm of nice weather adagio pressed of mine, arrow major. everything's held together by a structure, everything interact just with everything else. it's like values that we define to, man, i'm increasingly aware of the emotional depths that sign coach, facing the world itself and, and its inhabitants. and so i've got this, this is, this is i feel very, very comfortable here. i just have to say that over fee is i had to just go on. although i can't say exactly why i simply feel comfortable here. i feel like i'm in good hands. you know, good of school, that's always for me for me. i never used to feel this way, but eventually it's a relevant whether i still have 3 months or only for another 2 years. but it's just not important to decide. i'm enjoying this time that i have now like this is,

it's beautiful because all the things that i have suffered in my cost don't match for anymore that is that versus this is how was it for you to grow up in an alternate gmc that's in the perfect shape me a lot, for example, because of that experience. i didn't want to come here. i didn't want to come to this hospice life isn't very easy. is it for you this too much ahead of you? you don't even know it yet. so that's something else that's good for me unless there's not much that can happen to me anymore. but yeah. are you afraid of death because it doesn't sound like it's only a roll please? no, no. so wasn't, especially since i was told that my dad would be simply losing my strength, losing the desire to do anything with the front of you. the said it would be like slowly saying good bye to life and falling asleep. when the i'm and i will not resist this, i'm sure that you study this. this is almost, i think that death comes when it's supposed to come done. and that is quite

reassuring to main sense. but with the mind like the

the each oh by the applied to on the side to be a v. as in the boston, the items on the east august august, the 21st i'm leaving. what my says to me personally is supporting the people here and making their lives most useful because we want to put a smile on their faces and enjoy life with them to the fullest or as much as possible. life is so precious and we only get one even if he knows it's incredible . we assume you should still make every my minutes and unforgettable body. some of them. maybe i'm taking on a bit too much for. but that's my goal. you know, doesn't, you should always have

a goal in front of your mind seeing how ok . so i think these need to go back. yeah. i mean, yes, i had the same. so when i saw that somehow doesn't fit to, to, that's what will come, where do these blocks come from? the fix is cuts beta. there's only the pink one here. now, to me, that's a little too too. so really gotten this done down. so, you know, really fun up some again, one couldn't. exactly. so we're looking at windows of nearing it like this. yes. okay. as positive matches. look good. i work on the front of comcast to this very good. yes. great. then very sanders click minute and then i'm excited to talk about the back cover. take 6. we can think about the design is the back cover to hope to look side to mid threes thing and can think of then maybe we can look at

the whole phone go on in this paragraph. it's important to me that these 10 insights come across even stronger does it, does it seem to ions as know what the books about coming. okay. this of us, of us just ball. so it's not just and the people dealing with this it's on the phone number to sign conductress is as you always put it so beautifully . people who are dealing with death don't need to take a mindfulness. cool. yeah. yeah. kind of does. instead of a guess, i don't want to write this book. i need for people who are confronting desk right now, but for everyone, because this is a subject this effect so, so i'm going to swing willow, die at some point. and that's why it's so important to somehow deal with the subject before hand. it's what i answer it. when dest eventually happens, it wouldn't be as difficult to manage the,

this is bruce sto, breeze lost a cool, that's totally sweet of you enough to send you a bucket less than that. yes. and the fresh from brent and back look really fresh to thank you very much on christmas. you will one right now a loved one. great. so it's good to say i haven't eaten strawberries for ages. so yes, that was a great idea of yours. my pleasure. p z, there was still plenty of them. yes, that's great. i always loved them as a child to my grandmother had a huge god and back then. probably a 3rd of it was filled with strawberries and cards, things like that. i was just really present whenever i was the you don't the find me in the god. and as i thought also it also has a lot to do with your childhood, right strawberries. so do you want people to eat, store please at your funeral, whatever, whatever. what do you think about it?

so you're nice to know some people really liked things like that for you. for example, i could totally imagine people drinking coffee at my funeral. i think that's kind of cool because i also like to drink caufield. the timeframe depends like i'll be downstairs and some to do to you can drink something. this doesn't time for me. so then i'm not quite sure about it. usually i don't wear black i make out. so should i take some of again, that name? is that okay this much so far? yeah. fair cool. very cool. it's somehow much smaller than i expected to ask about . okay, so look so much speaker on tv. oh. of the diesels, in line with

a 27 year old ones that the company to die out of the black. yes. and then i get that question fairly often and i always think to myself, why wouldn't i miss of the bottom it? why is the scene is something that said the queue? yes, yes, it's something that everyone finds so difficult and they say, hey, why you doing this? why are you dealing with such a heavy subject to such a young age and table for me? for me, it doesn't feel heavy for me, it's for me, it's more of a question of why isn't this a normal thing for us to do it on this? it is best without something i just don't because i want these with teeth for me. it on this that this dentist have relationships leah mountain, this emptiness and just being in this pure existence, poor dogs line. i think that's what makes me feel even more life growing less high

tide of the i've got lucy. yeah. yeah. it's just way too much going to flour, but we don't have to cool of it. let's see. no, that's right. you can type some out. so much color flour didn't know what to do with so much cauliflower. i think i tend to the overestimate to dates when okay, no stress the yeah yeah, no, i'm since i'm, i may the 19th. he passed away on speakers. they said he would peacefully in his sleep. i know it must have been a relief for him to finally guys, but it still has a mazda, i go to visit with him 4 times dr. todd design,

his eyes were always shining until he couldn't type in the manual. then he was just sleeping speechless, because only later did i realize how much these meetings had changed me. the interplay of life and death accompanies us every day. we don't want to acknowledge you, find somebody, unless dest directly affects us, or someone in our family media. you bought this, this was still ringing my ears. he was never afraid of death thought he was only afraid of lives, but i'm leaving. why not be there you go. thanks. have a good flight for 14. okay. and then please check in with ms. britsky in room 13 to see if he's ready. how do i know i'm bringing you? not to this extent, alicia's mrs. shiva. oh my god. god,

it always sounds delicious. this is fantastic. right. wow. just great. i had hoped for this. i think you requested asparagus with potatoes in him. yes. because identification today's friday. right. it smelled like face didn't it? and i was like, yeah, yes, that's much better. now let's tend to towards meet them like a nation. so everything is the my milk is this. so everything is good, we've got everything. yes, of course. good. thank you. should pulling up a t c later by accident on november, november the 18th. every now and then i experience moments of doubts. even though i'm set this, i found my life cooling, working in a hospice. there are also times when i feel pushed to my limits and some things. and i wonder if i can really do this, come accompany people on that journey. i understood like like well,

we're christening the book. i think congratulations . thank you. is that september the 6 inch thick from time to time when i forget to when my name tag, people asked me how long i has been a patient here. the total cost is my end faults because i deliberately shaved my head, but was mind hot uplift in less than i've been thinking of shaving my head down to 3 millimeters for a while. you publish it. so now let's, i've actually done it. i feel a lot more feminine than i did before, simply because it feels so much more comfortable. so if you want to feel it, maybe i'm always looking to do something extremely extremely because we tava since then. so april, the 16th a musical often noon in the hospice, the year was the last sense to reopen, to stop functioning apart from that music trans thoughts so much more than just a few notes. it's beautiful to see when it looks something in a person's mind and causes memories to come flooding back. now yes,

i'm the guy with arkansas now for version blowing vision mission yet. so to me it looks great. wow. and stuff because the this is done nazareth and now look, i know the rights and may the 13th the she was asleep. i sat down with her intuitively and started to speak. i'm sure if she could hear me or not it's not me. i took her hands and started to cry, cause i could not understand how such a special person could be destroyed by this disease. the defense then, the corners of her mouth turned up and she pressed my hands tightly to her heart time. i can't remember a moment in my life that was this full of looms, love and energy as this one is the, the,

that's how good treason. and if it was funny, you think so. i really like you to, so call me writing this time. say well, what do you think about us remain for a little behind? why here, man, well then you can just like you to last of it that, that works out maybe okay and or sadness or even just to feel really happy, honestly. so sorry, because sometimes it's just nice to scream. yeah. oh, okay, but then you also have to join and

the in good shape women's health. is it under research? was incorrect treatment. modern medicine is based on min, about the female body and organs. we are different diagnoses, medication therapies must be taken into consideration for women in good shape. next on d,

w. are you ready to be really ready to face? welcome to castle frankenstein, right in the heart of german post to one of the highest halloween parties in the country. almost anything goes as long as it's your own that in a 60 minute d, w. the shape, we don't have a choice. so we have little time list to save the planet. so we have to do what we can as fast as possible. we only have $110.00 ration less,

just 25 years to implement the greatest revolution. since the tune of the industrial and replacing fossil fuels with renewable energy around the world. is this really possible documentary, the renewables november 25th on d w. the show is something men can do that. women talk to at least as well. but there's no denying one crucial difference. women have 2 x chromosome virus man have one x and one y chromosome. that needs to differences in physique, organs, and homemade assistance. but when it comes to medical treatments and medication research still tends to be conducted mostly with man,