the unreasonable all stop quarters as nonsense, i want my son to become a doctor to in the canal. it's time. and then when generation nash dw documentary the the document in the tides and dash during those really difficult times myself arrangements funding. it's about to apply the spice and i called it my problem is always ringing and miss with it. so i promised myself that on that day, i wouldn't take my own life and didn't talk monday. miss nemo steepness. i still make that for almost every day, and that has

a very special meaning for me is to give a thought to him from his it's been. yeah, it's been. my name's i've seen that i'm 22 years old. yeah. and i still do psychology at mazda of university is inside of me every day i face, lot of so just leave every day i choose life is to and i'm actually a very cheerful person. but if i had to describe myself in the cost and let's say i was someone suffering by the depression and it's amazing disorder as strongly as coverage. i think i'm on the right call. big or fenced in a long way to go. but i do believe i'm home, the right office in the that i've coming away from the from yet does minutes. since i gets it all says when i was 16, when i had kind of capex and i often, i didn't even realize that i was crossing myself. this test was of him. that was

a way for me to deal with my emotion based including ones i didn't want anyone to see him as soon as you might have seen less than ryan self as might sound controversial. you of the behaviors say you've my life, got them on this. i don't mean to say that it was right or a good way to deal with emotion, which i have just inside it went through and the also the right way this little to turn to someone on the and then an emergency to go to a clinic of other months solution cx, as long as that should be fine if you're choosing between the desk himself, home, mumbles, and you know, hope out on the list for other people. if you took your own life and you draw the choose the option that can come where you might end up in hospital, but you're still alive. how many of us and that's what i did. so i just marked the okay there. you might help. you can help chop

to sophia, i didn't buy any. you can come fresh cold. do you have anything else you can put on it otherwise we still have the yeah, yeah, well good, really. this one here with some and then me lives here with 5 other goes. so to stick with us and upon. and we're like little family, very close. emily. she is feel very comfortable here because there's always someone to talk to him. but his mental emotional, there's always someone that the, when he thinks of, i'm just really, it's just a nice to be like to have found that sounds great. people lived with us. i'm one golf as like me to feel comfortable and they're saying like, don't take, don't around lisa's percentage to give us no, oh we went into have a toast and we need some glasses please. oh, okay. the 1st a source to

a successful weekend to uh, to the apartment, looking the way it does again and all the chaos we overlooked. the fact that sophia has been living here for a year. you go to the apartments of southern beaches. glad you found your way here. thanks for letting me loose club as a fashion here. i'm going sophia moved in here. she was already in a relatively good place for electrical or vice cups. otherwise, i don't think she would have made the decision to move in with strangers so far away. so you know and make such a big legion to a completely new life. and my husband almost english ones on the internet decision . she made them down, mess with something she really wanted to do on voice is reinforced at a small prophetic tom mazda of these. she'd already made that decision for herself, and we supported her. the note on such to me choosing life simply means i want to be here. i want to experience joy, the sadness, every thing. it's all part of life. so i can definitely so that in sylvia as

a feel for you and fire. yeah. as we typed in the country, i start with the account when i was deep into my eating disorder. and for me guessing, i also have not just sort of was about issues online. i wanted to share of what i was going through. that's including the release that life goes on to that life. so what i want to the other people i to hear about 2 months of payments versus i know the most of all gone cuz he wants to know anyone who pays a couch in the next 2 weeks. from an excel, larry sent me a line live on a quick file. i think it would be cool to live alone. just tell the designer won't be able to do is at some point of a right now i feel a bit too insecure. i'm sure. now the most that you do have to try these the, i'm always on a bit of a tight road. so i wonder, what should i try? what am i capable of the tone? when should i believe my self and what is the do too dangerous status of a surprise? i know i'll get the stuff i will be able to live in the that is

a possible kind of the best as much is the toughest positive. i think i was like, you know, what's in the next for 11 and a half. so about a year i always wanted to come across as perfect that i had a public prolong. if not everything was great. and that was destroyed by the fact that i ended up in the clinic between account it's got kind of extended when i was deep into my eating disorder. there wasn't a 2nd in my life when i was free of it. i was constantly thinking about it constantly, did i? oh, i couldn't stop back. i would not all you awake at night thinking about food as would it be felt like every thing happened? sprinkled with k as in apple, instead of asking some gift the spring canals on the same goes for depression.

and he's when it takes over everything in your life when last of his face and you can no longer enjoy a move and feel fulfilled. you feel like a show a food fruits and then when that's the case, it makes complete sense to things like okay, that's nothing means it has been, this is where i'm getting my 1st tattoo today and it's going to be the left is m c l 5th full can push them instead of me choosing my life, which also ties into the into the challenge with i'm saying i owe you something you know high res, you ok is madeline called me. yeah. you can see that k. oh, okay, is it is right to the left is m c l lowercase? it is on dock. sadness fever. mm. okay. okay. what size also can be fine.

mm hm. which the task itself, it's s for the lease goals are coming out. it's about 9 months of again, i was scared at the beginning and she came on this website is because one of the same for $10.00 was mom and i was conscious of my arms and legs. and i'll find time for that. if it's, you know, within 2 or 3 months of doing it every day, it's changed, confusing, old customer, and then the 5 times it, people see the scholars have been not the home. and then the on my mind, on the right, maybe one of the hours have some must have started with political subscripts. it's one of the most of a bit of a parent adult. and i couldn't look at myself in the mirror for a while. and because i hated myself and best phone and you'll all have scholars for the rest of my life. my god. when i have children, all the, the mom with the sick on. so it's an outline what as far as the interview and i was about it, i'm living and feeling just this isn't the healthy part of me,

doesn't want to have the skills and does he want to identify with the appalled absolutely wants to have the stalls and one by the identifying with them that both of my house as me and i showed with these patients, it's crazy like that's how this forever i agree your to, to, and we can make small lines for okay. well, it was easily marissa as functional moment of realization, i'm standing here and can proudly say, so i've chosen life. so that starts with i'm going to do something because i never thought i'd be able to get to talk to because i never thought i wouldn't get it to this phone. so you can get out to these like com dosage i've done tend to have them kind of knew about the size that also listen. have my hopes, racing, and i'm shaking a bit off. i'm nervous, just because

a lot of happiness here that has negative association, that's for me. you've got to, you've also been the lo darling. but my while ago, the distance appointment, the worst moment was here in the clinic. when you had the address is you know, there, i say it and i saw, oh my god, how emaciated you were in the veins. everything was blue. they couldn't take your blood. vain. and so alice plow, you haven't got it. you put a different kind of brute up there, but oh yeah, i have to pump pension the toes because of the blood had retreated into your torso . so with that, so your body eliminate competitive emergency alarm system cut after that, i really light on coming here. as there's plenty of guiding people. you have a say as the you, it was like okay, she's safe now. so for me, it was how you learn they started taking quit typing. no, i don't take as if i don't, you don't know something else. my dad, my dad was also diagnosed and depression some time ago. do you have class to, to assign type when you solve part of myself and daughter saw how withdrawn g look

you up to that this can you what that feels like with me? i'd hope that wouldn't affect her, but when it hit her, it would not be able to me. it's a secret off. i mean there's always guns. have you spoken to the doctor about it? they have it. they have an appointment. sonya we've been isn't. what are you ok to look at some stuff that might come up for you about them do this? yes, i know that all the time is 1030 is also the other is well i don't take anything else though. we don't sleep as much that one vice i was down then vote a of the on the other side just to advise is to get what you mean. the ground floor . yeah, sure. sure. long has been a while to think gold 4 years ago. this is exactly as i said, the good we're good is confusing shipping, but i need to have someone feel good. so that's okay. what's the decision? what can i say? it's the way it is expensive. i found it's good. it's launched my oven. there used to be a certain amount around having this, all these and so few associates lies about it on social media. i'm going to,

i know it soon, often with the different generation owns and those about as also been a shifting of his id and social awareness. the one on the topic has become socially accepted, stands and inhibitions about discussing it have dropped significantly on team at the start is of the m should really talk about so even if this could sink so on, i guess. yeah, let me just have that. it's been a good thing for me to if i could finally let go and talked about it last less than what i mean by was able cut from about 5 minutes out of one job. but what sort of clips kind of look? because i skipped so chris jessica finished having a completely different conversations. now both gardner loans excellent relationship with each other fuels and doing but happy. so at some point i just want you to feeling so lonely for so long . there are so many people out there who feel the same way and i wanted to share

what i was going through and key things that life that life goes on by targets. it's such a serious where there's nothing for me to get myself to know. drawing sun only, just watch those times, but i wanted to share my experiences. i wanted other people to hear that business comfortable. the feedback i goes on this account was so encouraging that then i stopped posting for one thing i started to feel people expected to perform or her son involved from. no one gave me that feeling on that post unless it was pressure . i put it on myself. english mentioned doc teacher games and then just went to the old of those adults because i realized i had to go with that a positive mind biasing act up does. he didn't time and i think i had a little just, you know, right, was to close that chapter of my life if we could just move on of this into the real well in the opposite season. and just sort of assuming that the item that i thought i'd had to leave the as well is fine,

i didn't really want to go to the entire screen of item of mine, mine of them is that was he was something only crazy. people have to tell them it's and and when i was a message with the show, i was immediately assigned to therapist and he looked online and i soon became a great for for the session because i tried to co operate as a back by the food till people come up and how for example, is who i always wrote down everything that we discussed on thursday of each month. so that i wouldn't forget to ask her. she kept thinking about this again, right here and a balance of 5. that's when i wrote an incredible amount in my diary during that time. that side and then i would say, let's go for a village. yeah. 6 as the top here, 3rd piece of in the big positive, my healing person systems portez. one of the most important,

i would say that was maybe not the most important. one of the last i go to the 6 hundreds, we went for so many walks and we'd always donaldson and take a look back. leave went home, took a cookie, that goes, that is true stuff. so that's nice to look back and it's important to remember everything that's happened and everything you've already milestones associated with most of those devices have and what you've achieved, sophia, is china is sophia, as someone who likes to laugh away her difficulties. i didn't think she was smiling when i 1st met her and to me. so here there was something. oh, it's looking beneath the surface into heartless. i'm the looks of this fussy and i were always on the west to be searching for the right words and to express how she was feeling in disguise. and i was pleasant to cut over time. she became a master, undoubted side. okay, so i know my stuff and i always say it's like a danverse thing. so our river starting to flow withdrawal mem, this force and flu standards please. and to come with an ongoing craft and come

then came bernard guns. then having came, but you could have learned about the team around the whole thing, but i wasn't full full level this black image of depression, even close to a huge dog lying on your chest. yes, exactly. and then you rocked isn't commands like zip down and stay in. yeah. yeah yeah, that's right. the system and vice enough to have to stop and you had that other character when you had the eating disorder. so i think was good hall this the calorie counter. howard, they're kind of, you know, okay, now that kind of being said that i so did you remember the line mccadden just put the paper type and he did the yeah. and so on move on. we set up

a kind of early warning system to allow sophia to recognize when it's getting dark and cold again, we've done decades to counteract that with the help of therapy position in terms of partition context. see these days, hoyt. she has much more resilience as alien spending kind of a slightly different mindset. and so i'm the for those that so so you have toyed, she's come to know that even the deepest emotional a dentist because it was very difficult situations you can be overcome. but you don't have an experience that's no one can take away from her. and it's something she know shares with others is tied cl from it. and then we have all that much once we do not find the ones that would be like if i became a 3rd person to you. and she always said that we could do it together. something really touching me. that's happens, you'll see i've it'll still so it isn't in my mind because she buys to me when i didn't believe it myself. so solely on december 6th. she said we do it some day. and now here i am studying psychology. if these crazy angles costs the

pharmacy nowadays, i look forward to coming home. he's going, it's also nice that i can be this happy again because for a while it was difficult for me to come home because it has nothing to do with my family and it was my room. so that then when i was feeling that i was usually altering my room, smashed and then tomorrow yes. and so even if it's was i have my 1st sounds of depression when i was 11, no 12 and solve what stopped me. humming myself, this was the only as a light switch in disorder, it's up to those taught and then so fun in replacing the testing disorders. i suppose. i always needed something like a mechanism to deal with what was going on inside of the feeling is that sense?

of emptiness in the, in the and so the big cold sophia button on say off the vis a field was always a very bright child. she wasn't afraid to because she would try anything. she had friends, she did well at school. hope she enjoyed her hobbies while i took the mock. when do something, i've often wondered how we could have thought if it's something was wrong. that's an issue. i asked for many times if she was okay us on this board, so fee for bed. i would go to the mines to mountain top estate always say, or guess mom. everything's fine. yeah. yeah. moment i was reassured or to get the fleeting, but you constantly reproach yourself for having overlooks. i'm saying this for bill, for this one of us about saying what i don't think why doesn't tell you ever do this since the last guy was a fault for me. i made chocolate road yesterday. it's have to i was afraid for her

life as well. and it pulled the rug out from under my feet and a good tube. oh yeah, i was scared for her. i'm so scared to death. yeah, you love it when i do this for your birthdays. so that is why we did this. you. why, since you didn't want anything, i weren't there to protect it. i'm sure i have to assume no, it wasn't. i want modifying this. my go your son the bag to to the, to the is it helps with that this yeah. just to have to have somebody just so i said of them my family and friends, i wouldn't be here anymore. they have to go home. and his last day makes me happy every time she lives now because it's not something i take for granted. that's awesome. i'll be there shouldn't always nice to see are in a good mood. i'm glad to have a good time together. i haven't because it just wasn't possible before about some dispute. so we lived together and our relationship keeps getting better and

stronger. i'm very grateful. and just when i use my bitch don't shop here in the cops, i have a card hanging here that says everything will be good in the end. and if it's not good yet, and it's not the yet. and as long as i keep telling myself to deal with things as they come to always move forward from, it's going to support her and give her what she needs to investigate. but also to step back soon and stay out of it. when she doesn't need to finish the boxes on the list. so 45 to are from the hi. how are you? good. you know. good luck. the coffee over the by that french one could hear me. yeah. you have to blanket. right

. that, you know? yeah. it's good, his heart was worried, we didn't have one we're. lexi was either mine might seem is one of my best friends and one of the most important people in my life. a few and 5. we've been close for a very long time now. almost 10 years ago. a. yeah, i'm very grateful for this. is this, the cell phone is phillips is in line because when things are bad, i might possibly talk to her about because it was difficult because you have to continue to choose life in time, right? because it has to be an active decision every day as the and i didn't really feel that life was worth living to have a. but i have to make the decision that i wanted to the success and goes to, i'm super difficult. it's super, she's a, if we'd spend a day back then like today i might some driving to this me having, i'm taking a toll king long faces, maybe playing cards or something either from what has been 9 caught. seems peter as a bus driver, so it wouldn't have given me any when the of the energy assistance for life and how

that i feel right now. and then slide onto the part is just kind of screwed this and send you the comments lovely on things that channel. let me know for me. mm hm . well then when should they go past the tim? maybe launch it for you think it will cost, but as i'm crazy, just 4 years ago, i would have nothing on the so much oil on them and now i don't have it yet. you muscle. you're looking kind of, gosh, i thought that to me, but please young are so nice and most also look like i'm just so happy to all the different your fluids just sitting here. i don't even think about them and that way you know what, i'm so sure. as long as i remember the 1st time i was in hospital with you, what did you have to like to get some of those uh, for a levels of ms. not just spaces. oh you said it was a far as i remember sitting there thinking. so if you just open them speed in your mouth, i just use it at least for them so they don't get upset. i'm just thinking of it. i

just couldn't do it. we just may always have, for the small things like that was the crazy dining rooms that it makes it all the nicer that we can be here. now that's no longer and issues. the scripts we can just sit here, eat together the carefree. and so i'm so grateful to help us here's to keeping it that way, keeping it that way too. well, let's do sophia. now she's still much stronger than she used to be dead. stop. i think at some point she discovered the fighter within her position that you can really see that money. it's from just push the start off. that's it. i'm not moving my, my board was there. she would like to have some of these and shirts, and you see, i mean, she's so strong the staff full of life now. obviously good as what i hope shall always be able to draw on the fighting spirit within her when this often made and when times change and things get worse flushed of it. this is it. i hope she keeps it with her. the studies are strong and dear to keep asking for help bye to him, even when she knows she can do it by yourself upwards. i shall steps cuz i want her

to be and remain happy life. i want her to fulfill her dreams, and i want her to come out of all of this feeling stronger the extinguished costs. the type of coverage does fluctuate during the thank you for that matter. and if you haven't taken a very relative placement of how unimaginable it is to see yourself in the future, it's sitting somewhere. nothing has trudy being in the movement enjoying the day and not thinking for guy don't feel anything. this doesn't smoke anything. i mean, the scottish thing else today, i can say that i feel single so deeply and i'm ever so grateful. i never thought this day would come to a tech come that's. that's why i'm convinced absolutely convinced. i'm on the right home, mostly sign furden. god. alright, the,

the, the,

into the conflicts own with tim sebastian. as the warning ukraine brings the more death and destruction key european officials fail. moscow is now preparing for contact with the west. i guess this week of, along with that, do these come for room for the heads of his phone using television service, but he still believes russia can lose conflict the place in 30 minutes on d. w because he was gonna, i never would have thought this day would come. that's fine. so convinced i'm of

the right of interesting victims deciding she wants to live. that's part of sophie's daily routine. she's open about her mental illnesses sharing with others, how they impact for life. and in doing so, she gets from one thing about all the choosing. and 19 minutes on d w. the you might see me how much can we do simultaneously? multitasking these, the modern man, because if we do too much at 180 all wrong mess, things up, risking brain damage. so let's stop this self sabotage. humans and multitasking

watch. now on youtube, d. w documentary green. you'll update green innovations, super green and green. check the holy gray off electron mobility and green revolution global. so listen to all loud climate problems to fix your thoughts on the topics rest of those channels. we've got new videos every friday tried to plan. it's a somewhere in the deserts between 2 nice shapes if these to have a whole list stick approach to migration policy rooted in that respect for human rights. our investigative research shows the reality behind the use refugee was is happening to migrant on the advocate

community policy docs. november 9th. the, this is the depth of the news live from thirdly, the clean up the gains in spite of the devastating floods kill at least 150 people . the country is in morning as people begin to process the massive devastation communities that are on the edge as the ryans continues to threaten other. the answer stays away from the us presidential election, vice president, pamela harris, and republican candidate donald trump. i'm making that case in the bonus states of arizona and new mexico the.