love, it is amazing for the job and i'm worth street as a vampire. yeah. and it's magic up because people are terrified into lives at the same time. the canals are the people squealing like children. yeah. it's unbelievable. and that's, i guess, the dad that he talks to this older guy who separate a child by him and he bites him a couple of times and makes some of that. but then the last thing that old guy says is something like to be careful not to get a piece of advice. it was the it was maybe a little too late for the yeah. the i made an appointment for myself. took a walk on the train alone. i didn't tell anybody about us. i got the loads on the

swabs and all of this stuff that i had never done before. i suppose is a base 3 in there because i'm not used to getting sexual health tests or being in an environment like that. but all i remember was when they called my name and i went in, i remember the room. i remember the doctor. i remember what it was, where i need to need a lift of his head. he never even looked at me. he had a charge in front of him, his hands down and he said, you have a timing. you're remembering that moments was just leaving my body. i wasn't even there. i wasn't even in the room. i was gone of what was going through my mind is everything that i've been brought up with everything that i've seen on tv, everything that i've heard h i v aids. that means that that means your life is over. that means there is no

future. and that was on the top of my head. so i just ran out of the place. i didn't know what to do. i was pretty long and the to when i tested positive, nothing can prepare you for that is totally an added body experience. there was a part of me that just sounds like i lost something that i would never get knocked . a i was in a relationship when i was diagnosed, so i told my partner straight away and that changed everything. i ended up promising not to tell anyone. and i kept that for a decade. that relationship ended. but i had sort of put myself in that position. i kind of

painted myself into a corner and i had a lot of reasons to not tell anyone. and like a whole tapestry, i think the hardest part was definitely telling my mom like that really was something i struggle with. for a long time the at the time she was recently wait out and going through an awful lot of stuff and it really just felt like i couldn't to do that to her then the carrying the secret became very heavy and a lot changed over time. 10 years is a long time she changed. i change circumstances change and the

environment change. we had a marriage referendum, i became aware that while i was trying to protect my mom, i wasn't really protecting myself. i was carrying this thing on my own, and it was hard. and i was protecting the stigma. oh my god. okay, so this is one of my biggest patriots from the media. says h, i b may not be to ken or it once was, but the disease is on the rise again, i'm any suffers fear. there was a huge stigma around it when it suffers people different my age. i have to know, like, you know, people who is more of the company gets home, so i'm certain more. no, but the thing to hear about it is it increases to stigma maybe suffering at one point in life. like i suffer to a huge i really would like for treatment. let's say i know most different at all when i typed the 1st year. okay. you got me out with that? well, let me look at the so for it's going up to my 9 year anniversary of the major

b. it's in like a couple of weeks. i remember i was in the clinic and i just got my diagnosis. kind of crazy. i remember seeing you come in, i don't have time or hi days it got one then it was like, i think i told you was not my trying go through a straight anymore. i think that was the 1st words. she said, have you have any questions i can, i just said like, is it going to be an i have about thought. and she said you have a new medication, right? yeah. i remember coming home in the car saying why me, why me, why me? for like tears can, i almost felt like was a punishment for something i decided to keep it together for you like, but the sizes moment that i ever encountered in my whole life. so when you turned around to me, the biggest threat is always, i'm never stopped at the top of tights and is that is going to love me now. you know, and i said, i don't be a scott it's,

it's the hardest thing when you get your head, give you the diagnosis. it's almost like a grieving your future life, a life threatening when everyone is grieving, wavy. yeah, i know your mom is grieving for you because what you walked for what you went to college for even go to australia is gone. so i think that was adult obama, because at that time we didn't know the people are meant to be kind to pass it on once you start medication to come in detectable. you know, so i was also told, i told 2 things accidentally diagnosed as one that i could potentially pass it on because that seems extra helped advisor. and the 2nd one was, be careful who you tell because wanted, oh, you can take it back and you need to keep this like, you know, the secret because what you have a shame for the

church here. i'm good. i'm good neighbors. i knew i was going to mail me the questions that you don't have the answer to ok, thanks for calling us. and before we get started, the company, i just want to say obviously there are 2 cameras here. there is the one behind you . okay. and is the one to my left as well. okay. neither of them are going to shoot you directly. okay? they're shooting around to you. we're not going to show your face for anything as discussed. okay? obviously there's a microphone on you. there's a microphone above you. and that's because you're allowing us to use your voice. and i thank you for that. right? yeah. is there a part of you at all that's concerned about the use of invoice or do you feel

comfortable? it's my voice. and i'm telling my story. so i want people to hear my story and even though i'm hiding behind the occasions, one day i always come off the i work within the community. so i talk like this a lot oxy. i carry a testing. i do different pieces of advocacy is a big part of who i am. a huge part of my day today. obviously i'm never not talking about all this. i'm never, not talking to the teachers a when i'm from ontario. just trying get people into tests for example,

and i guess it will come up to me face and they'll say to me, you shouldn't be worried about was you should be worried about your paper and direct vision centers because the sellers that are coming in to hire them from the outside applicant, they're the ones bringing your, the ones, bringing and the not put you in the spot by, you know, the double stigma. so no matter how much you want to go out there and tell people your own story and be an advocate, your will read about more than you so proxy stopped you. the chips require keeps me behind the course. definitely. yeah. if you're doing

show, uh, doing this go down the road for me. yeah. i was like irish though. yeah, exactly. and literally, every by, in the all, by, as good as in, as of the day, like you are like a, here's all the, but he's like me. and if you're all of the beautiful girl, the able to read for everyone. but when someone always talks about not a creepy way, doesn't like an admiration way. and then just a few years later, it's like a full circle moment because the most beautiful girl in school, it'll tell you what it is. it's our interested in that, like when i, i knew that i was going to be telling your story. it's just mine say 10 years later you're gone. oh, that's somebody that i knew when i was and i remember you knew the impact off the diagnosis. like when i, when i tell you my story, you know the devastation that caused because doctors and i felt was taken away from

me that young robbie life was never going to be the same. i actually hadn't gone without way. so that's a really nice way for me to be approaching it now as well. and, and really interesting choice of at a base is obviously, i don't feel like you know what i mean. and irish well, i think that's a really important thing is it's, you know, like, a lot of people don't under pink page. i really don't think of women never had chevy. so i think it's really interesting. hang on, i'm the one who's going to be telling your story. yeah, it's laird really isn't that i couldn't think of anyone died and you did. so in spring i talked a range of benefits. yes. yes. okay. are you paying me or like the okay, i want to tell you something it's about me. i'm from dublin.

i'm from dublin city. and i don't mind saying where exactly. i'm from from dock and actually i want to tell you something. i want to tell you something i'm turkey just recently. i was born in 1991, the early ninety's. i trained odyssey while they're just on i have a masters in sexuality stories. i like to just say i have a masters and sexuality or the i'm a sexuality master, whichever one really i'm living with h i b, that means i have h i v. it's in my body and i have no problem talking about it. i have no problem telling anybody my name is robbie. when they 1st told me it was a real shock to me. i was only

a young lad and i didn't say come in. the 1st thing i asked was, can i still go to australia and straightway i just held no, i was too sick. i wouldn't be able to go at that point there where doors close and all around. i didn't know that there were countries, but don't expect you. if you have hate, i've able, i was learning all of the base rock mcneese. i left my number with the social worker in james's. i told her i said to her, i said, if you know anybody, if you get anyone in here you feel need to pier give them my number. let them ring me on me off with them straight away. bring them for a coffee. and i've been doing that since about 2013 but it hasn't been easy because a lot. yeah. and they've taken on basically so it's 2012 and they're starting me on the medication straightway. reason being my immune system is very low.

basically. my cd 4 accounts is dangerously low. actually. i'm about 6 months away from aids. they told me and i always say to people, you know, once you start to medicaid, there's no denying it anymore. really. you have to commit to this for the rest of your life. you have to take your meds religiously and i started on a big pink pill. it was a big pink camp, but they gave me. they advised me to take it in the evening. besides, it might make my dreams a little bit more exciting. i obviously wasn't happy about it, but it was so late in the day. there was no room left for fine. so i took it off time and i was grounded. i took it at 10 and nothing was happening. it had been a hard few weeks. i told him i found me immediately and i had a lot of conversations coming up, access that kind of thing. i got to around 11 o'clock that night.

i was in bed. and that's when it started happening. imagine a cloud scene. imagine a 21 year old. imagine everyone having a good time. imagine news in your mind. a b came in lights lower, it's from the ceiling. a b came in there was, sorry, were blair, and after taking it i felt too far. i felt so it was installed, it was a 100000 people and they were in the around a 100000 people in the room with you all to rely on this talking so quickly with this don't move and i was thinking i was dunston. i myself away had been last year was it was distracted like i didn't know what i

was doing like i didn't know what was happening the whole find me see me. the mom was there watching. and i started forget i started sleeping in on a lot of everything in the day time, then i was constantly grow just like no energy. i couldn't talk property. i was like, i didn't know what was wrong. imagine your worst time over the next day or during the day. felt like there was a strain in the way and i was saying emigrating to us training which i can point i 10.9. even seen my degree in psychology being charged for a bunch of losing my evenings every time i took the panel and again,

get more of them for like type image pay off everything and then offense. she looked at me. i mean, i know it wasn't me right. i was sitting at the table. i couldn't lift a fork. lift to fork, lift to fork. i have no energy. this before grubby, accomplished man. lift the fork, accomplish me. i am either on a charge where we may, i speak to her and i sites where i say i'd rather die. i'd rather live for 2 more years to take. i pay a little more time. like this was before i knew. busy that there was more than one type of medication, you know,

i talked to this was the way my life was going to go. so imagine that kind of experience with the conversations you're having with the people you're mean we're having to disclose. imagine reading through this, it's up to say that would probably be difficult and to kind of go back over like list into fork. it's a, it's funny that you know, this was picked up of my overall story because really it represented her below. i was at the time, i had no energy life wasn't worth living at that time. on the medication. it's a small thing, but when i could smile again, when i could lift the fork and then obviously the next day to my process, the,

you know, i come from a small town, so i have sex is not discussed. and for me, you know, in school sex education is basically 2 sticks broken off each other and you know, this idea into the world, me and my friends, i don't think any of us ever use condoms. because you know, just pre pharmacies and guarantee, you know, the person in there is the person and there was no your mother. so, you know, protection was never something that was talked about as because there was something that was used. i just remember there was a day in the shopping center with my mother. i mentioned something about just man and sex and stuff like that. and she said to me, you know what, i hope you don't have aids. you know, we should always wear to condoms. something shipping in that moment when she said, i texted him the guy that i was away with that nice. and i asked him to meet me off

the train station. the i'm from the country, i'm from the country. don't say, well county don't say, well county, i'm going north. i'm on the bus. my body is on the bus. i don't know in my mind is i don't know where my mind is going. he's picking me up . he's taking me back to his place. he's cool, can i think of a month to come in 90 and i can see like in my buddy, i can see that in my body. i can feel it in my body. i can see that in my body. shift a shift, history, history, legacy a legacy, biology, biology. i can feel it in my body. i can see that in my body and i'm angry. i'm

angry. i'm really angry because he took this to me. he gave it to me actually. right now i don't have to wherever though, like i don't have the capacity icon to empathize with him right now. okay. so happened was, i walked into his kitchen, i said the cost of watching and i can't remember this really i've so i was so angry . i looked at them, he looked at me and i said to him, i said, have you ever used a condom? have you ever used when have you ever put one on? have you ever used? come down and then i said, so what are you doing to me? oh my god, seriously, what we don't to me, what we don't to me, what we don't to me were you just having sex with everybody? is that what was happening? or were you just have a 2nd and everyone? have you ever use a condom? have you ever put one on what are you out there already? step away from you. step away from your stuff away from me. you have no business

telling me what to do. good, i only have to get out your house. do you have any idea? do you have any clue? i'm calling the guy the guy. i'm calling the guys, i'm new sort of the i'm just on the go with mountain stepped away. okay. never used to come to have you ever put one on what are you out to do to meet? i mean the somebody said something to you more speed. it was to be surprised by how goes in the streets and to because as the baseband, he's dying of aids, you know,

and because of brothers with us in the clinic and very much living with age, you know how to june the tom to i felt as if i'd been hit by spurred german and lots of people have talked to use the same expansion. notice instead of shop for the 8 months, what is the worst fear you see to have to names to you or your corporate appointments and things like that. and then say that is, i don't like you can the ads appear to be well as a normal thought of age and to say some age. it says it's offline. the is a late in the appraisals system often takes a note with seeing. sonya name is an stream that i feel that so i've done, you know, the

so how would we do this? i just think it's important tonight to clarify, before we begin a system or and understand that to me. because obviously you're going to miss bacon or comfortable talking to me by just saying that it will be good if there was certain things that we equate. like in terms of people's names, maybe you know what i mean? like i'm grant, as long as it's not in the local paper at the end of the day, you know, but that's not really gone then is it like because well, if we did have you on the stage, right. and then just by chance, someone from your hometown locks and that makes sense, right there could get back hung up. i didn't couldn't so what else can we do? i mean, i suppose that was good to try a makeup artist, couldn't we?

like watching. okay, now while he stood there in front of the audience as well, if you ask him, well, if you've said, don't say this box downside is by what you said, honest thing, i'm going to say tonight. anything i'm going to say tonight is between menu is between me and you. when you leave the space, when you leave the space, you need a behind you. you leave it behind. it's private. what if we try to give the audience that responsibility maybe? do you think that's something that could work? i don't know get. i don't need to really the,

the the, the, the,

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