that is amazing for the jeff and i'm worth street as a vampire. yeah. and it's magical because people are terrified into lives at the same time, like an elderly people squealing like children. yeah. it's unbelievable. and that's, i guess the dad that he talks to this older guy who's like really chimed by him and he bikes him a couple of times and makes some of that. but then the last thing that old guy says is something like the be careful not to get a picture twice. it was. yeah. it was maybe a little too late for the yeah. the i made an appointment for myself. took a walk on the train alone. i didn't tell anybody of notice i got the loads on the

swabs and all of this stuff that i had never done before. i suppose is a base 3 in there because i'm not used to getting sexual health tests or being in an environment like that. but all i remember was when they called my name and i went in, i remember the room. i remember the doctor. i remember what it was very. i didn't even have to present. he never even looked at me. he had a charge in front of him, his head was down and you said you have a timing or a member in that moments why since leaving my body, i wasn't even there wasn't even though i was gone of what was going through my mind is everything that i've been brought up with everything that i've seen on tv, everything that i've heard h i v aids, that means that that means your life is over. that means there is no future. and

that was on the top of my head. so i just ran out of the place. i didn't know what to do. i was pretty long and the to when i tested positive, nothing can prepare you for that is totally an added body experience. there was a part of me that just sounds like i lost something that i would never get knocked . i was in a relationship when i was diagnosed, so i told my partner straight away. and that changed everything. i ended up promising not to tell anyone. and i kept that problem for a decade. that relationship ended, but i had sort of put myself in that position. i kind of painted myself into

a corner. and i had a lot of reasons to not tell anyone. and like a whole tapestry of them, the hardest part was definitely telling my mom like that really was something i struggled with for a long time. the at the time. she was recently weighed out and going through an awful lot of stuff. and it really just felt like i couldn't to do that to her then the carrying the secret became very heavy and a lot changed over time. 10 years is a long time she changed. i changed circumstances change and this

environment changed. we had a marriage referendum as i became aware that while i was trying to protect my mom, i wasn't really protecting myself. i was carrying this thing on my own and it was hard. and i was protecting the stigma. oh my god. okay, so this is one of my biggest hatreds from the media says, hey, chevy may not be to kenner at once was, but the disease is on the rise again, i'm any suffers fear. there was a huge stigma around it when i stuffers. are people living my age? i have to know, like, you know, people who is more of a copy gets home. no, i'm certain more. no, but the thing to hear about it is it increases the stigma may be suffering at one point in life like i suffer dread survey, but like for 3 months, i'd say they're almost different at all when i typed the 1st year. okay, you got me out with that? well, let me look at that. i'm, i'm looking to be on

a so for it's going up to my 9 year anniversary of the major b. it's in like a couple of weeks. i remember i was in the clinic and i just got my diagnosis. kind of crazy. i don't ever seem to come in. i don't have time off hi days. it got one of them. it was like, i think i told you was not my trying go through a straight anymore. i think that was the 1st words. she said, have you have any questions i can, i just said like, is it going to be alive and that's all. and she said you have a new medication where yeah, i never coming home in the car saying why me? why me, why me for like terry's canals felt like was a punishment for something i decide to keep it together for you. like put the sizes moment that i've ever encountered in my whole life. so when you turn to and to me, the biggest read his eyes, i never stopped at the top of tights and he said, he's gonna love me now. you know, and i said, i don't be god, it's the hardest thing when you get your head,

give you the diagnosis. it's almost like a grieving of your future life. i life threatening when everyone is grieving. really? yeah, i know your mom is craving for you because what you walked for what you went to college for even go to australia is gone. so i think that the adult obama, because at that time we didn't know the people are meant to be kind to pass it on once they start medication to come in detectable. you know, so i was also told, i told 2 things actually diagnosed as one that i could potentially pass it on about the sexual health advisor. and the 2nd one was, be careful who you tell, because once it's out you can take it back and you need to keep this like, you know, the secret because what you have a shame from the

church you. i'm good. i'm good. never, i never was going to mail me no questions that you don't have the answer to. ok. thanks for coming us. and before we get started company, i just want to say obviously there are 2 cameras here. there is the one behind you . okay? and that's the one to my left as well. neither of them are going to shoot you directly. okay. they're shooting around you. we're not going to show your face funny thing, as discussed. okay, obviously there's a microphone on you. there's a microphone above you. and that's because you're allowing us to use your voice. and i thank you for that. right? yeah. is there a part of you at all?

that's concerned about the use of the invoice or do you feel comfortable? it's my voice. and i'm telling my story. so i want people to hear my story and even though i'm hiding behind the cajuns one day, i always come off the i work within the community. so i talk like this a lot. see, i carry a testing. i do different pieces of advocacy is a big part of who i am. a huge part of my day today. obviously i'm never not talking about all this. i'm never, not talking to hate or they when i'm from ontario. just trying get people into

tests, for example, and i'll get someone come up to me face and they'll say to me, you shouldn't be worried about was you should be worried about your people in direct vision centers because of cells that are coming in to hire them from the outside applicant, they're the ones bringing your, the ones, bringing and the not put you in the spotlight, you know, double stigma. so no matter how much you want to go out there and tell people your own story and be an accident, your will read a bit more than you so abruptly stopped. you quite keeps me behind the course. definitely. yeah.

show a different than this go in the road for me. yeah. i was like ours. yeah, exactly. and literally everybody in albany is going to is in a day like you are like a, here's all the but he's like me. and if you're all of the beautiful girl, the air to reach for everyone. but when someone always talks about not a creepy way, doesn't like an admiration way. and then just a few years later, it's like a full circle moment because the most beautiful girl and scale it will tell you what it is. it's out there interesting. not likely when i, i knew that i was going to be telling your story. it's just my, i'd say 10 years later you're gone. oh, that's somebody that i knew when i was ever and i remember you knew the impact off the diagnosis. like when i, when i tell you my story, you know the devastation that costs because doctors and i felt was taken away from

me that young robbie life was never going to be the same. i actually hadn't called without way. so that's a really nice way for me to be approaching it now as well. and, and really interesting choice of database is obviously, i don't know, like, you know what i mean and iris? well i think that's a really important thing is it's, you know, like a lot of people don't 100100 page. i really don't think of women that much, i think so. i think it's really interesting. hang up. i'm the one who's going to be telling your story. yeah, it's laird really isn't that. i couldn't think of anyone died and you did. so in spring i talked to read the benefits. yes, yes. okay. are you pay me or like the? okay, i want to tell you something it's a bear with me. i'm from dublin. i'm from dublin city. and i

don't mind saying where exactly. i'm from from dock and actually i want to tell you something. i want to tell you something. i'm turkey. just recently. i was born in 1991, the early ninety's. i trained as while they're just on i have a masters in sexuality stories. i like to just say i have a masters and sexuality or the i'm a sexuality master. whichever one really i'm living with h i b, that means i have h i v. it's in my body and i have no problem talking about it. i have no problem telling anybody. my name is robbie. when they 1st told me it was a real shock to me. i was only

a young lad and i didn't see it coming. the 1st thing i asked was, can i still go to australia and straightway i was told no. i was too sick. i wouldn't be able to go at that point. fairway doors close and all around. i didn't know that there were countries that don't expect you. if you have page, i've able i was learning all of the base rapidly. i left my number with the social worker and james's. i told her i said to her, i said, if you know anybody, if you get anyone in here you feel needs appear. give them my number, let them ring me on me up with them straight away. bring them for a coffee and i've been doing that since about 2013 but it hasn't been easy because a lot. yeah. and they've taken on basically so it's 2012 and they're starting me on the medication straightway. reason being my immune system is very low,

basically. my cd 4 accounts is dangerously low. actually. i'm about 6 months away from aids. they tell me and i always say to people, you know, once you start to medicaid, there's no denying it anymore. really. you have to commit to this for the rest of your life. you have to take your meds religiously. and i started on a big pink pal. it was a big pink camp, but they gave me. they advised me to take it in the evening. spec sides, it might make my dreams a little bit more exciting. i obviously wasn't happy about it, but it was so late in the day. there was no room left for fine. so i took about 10 and i was grounded. i took it of 10 and nothing was happening. it had been a hard few weeks. i told my family immediately, and i had a lot of conversations coming up in excess. that kind of thing. i got to around 11

o'clock that night. i was in bed. and that's when it started happening. imagine a cloud scene. imagine a 21 year old. imagine everyone having a good time. imagine news in your mind. a b came in, lights lower, it's from the ceiling. a b came in there was sorry, or glare. and after taking it, i felt too far. i felt so it was installed, it was a 100000 people and they were in the around a 100000 people. i've been working with you all so relaxed i was talking so quickly with this don't move and i was thinking i was dunston. i myself away had been late it was distracted like i didn't know what i

was doing like i didn't know what was happening. the whole find me see me, the mom was there watching. i started forget i started sleeping in on a lot of everything in the day time than i was constantly. drugs like no energy. i couldn't talk property. i was like, i didn't know what was wrong. imagine your worst time over the next day or during the day. felt like there was a strain in the way and i was same sex emigrating to australia, which i can point. i can even see my degree in psychology, be insured for a my mom was losing my evenings every time i took the panel and again and then for the rest of the night,

imagery pay off everything. and then offense, she looked at me, mima. and i wasn't mean right. i was sitting at the table, i couldn't lift a fork. lift to fork, lift to fork. i have no energy. this before bobby college man. lift to fork. a cottage man, either on a charge with me, my when i speak to her and i sites where i say i'd rather die. i'd rather live for 2 more years than type i pay a lot more time. like this was before i knew. busy that there was more than one type of medication, you know, i talked to this was the way my life was going to go. so imagine that

kind of experience with the conversations you're having with the people you're meeting with having to disclose. imagine reading through this and so i have to say that i've had to be difficult and to kind of go back over it like list into fork. it's a, it's funny that, you know, this was picked up of my overall story because really it represented heavy low. i was at the time, i had no energy life wasn't worth living at that time on that medication. it's a small thing, but when i could smile again and i could lift a fork of the knowledge the next day to my process, the,

you know, i come from the small town, so i have sex is not discussed. and for me, you know, in school sex education is basically 2 sticks broken off each other and you know, this idea into the world, me and my friends. and i don't think any of us ever use condoms. because you know, just pre pharmacies and guarantee, you know, the person in there is the person and there was no your mother. so, you know, protection was never something that was talked about as because there was something that was used. i just remember there was a day in the shopping center with my mother. i mentioned something about just man and sex and stuff like that. and she said to me, you know what, i hope you don't have aids, you know, with shelves where to condoms? something shipping in that moment when she said, i texted him the guy that i was away with that nice. and i asked him to meet me off

the train station. the i'm from the country, i'm from the country. don't say, well county don't say, well county, i'm going north. i'm on the bus. my body is on the bus. i don't know way my mind is. i don't know where my mind is gone. he's picking me up . he's taking me back to his place. he's cooking, i think a romantic meal night and i can see late in my buddy, i can see that in my body. i can feel it in my body. i can see that in my body. shift a shift, history, history, legacy a legacy biology, biology. i can feel it in my body. i can see that in my body and i'm angry. i'm

angry. i'm really angry. because he took this to me. he gave it to me actually. right now i don't have to wherever though, like i don't have the capacity. i can't emphasize with him right now. okay. so happened was, i walked into his kitchen, i see the cost of watching and i can't remember this really i've so i was so angry . i looked at them, look to me. and i said to him, i said have you ever used a condom? have you ever used when have you ever put one on? have you ever used? come down and then i said, so what belong to me? oh my god, seriously, what we don't to me. what we don't to me, what we don't to me, were you just having sex with everybody? is that what was happening? where you just have a 2nd and every one of you ever is a condo on, have you ever put one on what are you out there? it's fairly easy. step away from me. step away from the stuff away from me. you

have no business telling me what to do. good. i only have to get out of your house . do you have any idea? do you have any clue? i'm calling the guard the guys. i'm calling the guys on new shawna. no, you should a no, but you haven't, i'm just on the going away mountain stepped away. okay. never used to come to have you ever put one on what are you out to do to me? i mean the somebody said something to you. more space was to be very surprised by how good it was in the states. and because as today's been, he's dying of aids, you know,

and because of brothers that us in the clinic and very much the living with age. you know how to, julia told, i've felt as if i've been hit by aspired chairman and lots of people have taught to use the same expansion. notice and stay a shock for 8 months. what is the worst fear you have off see to have tonight? and so you have your quote with the blameless and things of that and then say is i don't like you can. the odds appear to be well as a normal thought of age and close. i some age, it says it's offline. the is elaina nadia appraisals system often thinks a note with a sing sonya nate mills and james and i feel that so i've done, you know, the

so how would we do this? i just think it's important to either clarify, before we begin a system or an understanding generate because obviously you're going to miss bacon or comfortable talking with me by just saying that i want to go. and if there was certain things that we have ways like in terms of people's names, maybe you know what i mean? like, i'm grant, as long as it's not in the local paper at the end of the day. but that's not really gone then. is it like because what we did have you on the stage, right? and then just by chance, someone from your hometown locks and then they say right there could get back home that might include. mm hm. so what else can we do? i mean, i suppose i was going to try, i'll make that part of me. like watching. okay. now,

while he stood there in front of the audience as well, if you ask him, well, if you've said, don't say this box don't satisfy what the said. honest thing, i'm going to say tonight, anything i'm going to say tonight is between menu is between me and you. when you leave the space, when you leave the space you leave behind you, you leave it behind it. it's private. well if we try to give the audience that responsibility, maybe they think that's something that could work. i don't know yet. i don't need the

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pico africa play time with the difference is do we meet? we start off by discussing the inside of mental issues like the since the testing side, affecting the environment. see how those m conserve. tigers football club is motivating the next generation to protect the environment. eco patrick. in 30 minutes on the w. 2 2 me my to my daughter is so in this the mars yes, this happened to her right and sexual dinings in india and decided to try to get

off without punishment. if the women and girls will fight. i will fight for my daughter and get her justice logo in 19 minutes on d w. the way is mohammed anything? so my nephew give me a decent meeting. we don't know what's going on. the sub off fled from north any rock, and he became one of hundreds of migrants who vanish every year. somewhere in no man's land that lies between batteries and clear if you choose become pools in a cru, see a political concept went, oh,

you lost the run. starts december 18th, on d, w. the, this is data will you use live from the not been visible and the german chancellor makes a surprise visit to ukraine's capital on his 2nd trip to kingston. this done her brushes, full scale invasion, olaf schultz places extra military support. as ukraine struggles to spend off, most of those offensive a full night of classes in georgia is fine, works and tear gas line. police dispos protestors in sibley see and make arrests. opponents accused of holding georgia free body of pursuing an officer, a terry and pro russian pon plus rebel groups in syria celebrate their advanced into a level.