it's a bad sin, yes, nastya, where did you sleep today, because we understand that the life of soldiers on the front line is completely different every night, sometimes it's the trenches, sometimes it's possible that there's an abandoned house somewhere, so i'll say that i've never lived in the trenches, er, our boys live in the trenches i'm still there. well, looking at the situation, it could be basements and also really abandoned houses. they invented sleeping bags for this. i'm winter warm . i can't say what you weigh, well, less than 50 kg , thin little one, you have a lot of ammunition on you, how many

kilograms do you carry on a daily basis ? i'm full of my nits and it was +15 kg plus 15 kg to my weight. at first it was really difficult. well , my back hurt, but it gets used to everything, then i realized that somewhere in a week, 1.5 weeks , then i already i got used to that and well, if i had to say that i didn't feel this weight on me at all, i did i won't say it, but i'm just used to it, but once there, you constantly wear armor, but in the evening, your back hurts a lot, and it's important there, for example, when you sit down to eat, it's better to take off this armor, and it's an opportunity to rest your back. well , when you go to bed, that of course, you also take off the armor.

well, someone sleeps in the armor depending on the region in which the serviceman or serviceman is located. now i took off the armor to talk to you. well, i’m used to it. we can get used to everything, adapt to it well, the main thing here is to adjust and everything will be fine , what else is there besides the bulletproof vest, tell me, because i am a civilian, i don’t understand this well, besides the fact that it is the bulletproof vest itself, there are also stores that cling to it, plus well, plus, besides that to have a first-aid kit with you, it is mandatory. it must be stretched out, there will be a body armor or up to the leg. well, who is there, how is it comfortable for me, up to the leg is not very comfortable at all, plus it is with you that you are not carrying a weapon, an automatic weapon, well, officers carry pistols, i am not an officer yale i have a soldier

i have to carry a machine gun with him all the time because if a soldier loses his weapon, it's a problem, i just can't imagine you, to be honest, with a thin machine gun, how long do you keep

it directly in the front line? i won't say that it was great, great, i could also shoot there. no, but if i didn't go to the shooting range in civilian life. well, for some reason i liked it. and then, of course , there were trainings that lasted for almost 3 weeks and there we were taught all this and tactical medicine , topography and psychology, and of course we were we went to the training grounds, and at those training grounds, we were already taught to hold weapons, to load, to reload, to shoot, why did we learn, i won’t say

that, well, during the training, they let you shoot a lot, no , but well, when i already came here, of course , the military personnel also train constantly here they are studying well, here already well, there is no more opportunity to learn well, in principle, i can do it with a weapon . no one shot it, it's a security technique, and it's not necessary, you can't forget about it , i really don't like to clean it. i don't like it after, if we go there, there are shootings at us, it's a must, then you have to clean your weapon. it is necessary to clean it so that you have special oil with you and you rub everything there with that oil with a cloth, well, it has been a long time. you have not yet had to

use a machine gun, not for training . how many women are there in your battalion? you're not the only one there . if i'm not mistaken, there are five of us scattered in different regions. we hardly cross each other. there are five of us, women of different professions . that is, there are doctors and our cooks. well and i'm like asking the king, what are your direct duties as a press officer, working with journalists, working with mass media, that is, i have to ensure that journalists come here, i have to do everything to ensure that

the shooting is safe for them, to follow them so that they go somewhere, not all the time that we we understand that there are many territories in kharkiv oblast, yes , in kharkiv oblast, we liberated the armed forces of ukraine, but the russians left behind a lot of mines , these petals, in which they are simply called, well, darkness , darkness . it is impossible to take everything from there and i am always afraid that one of the journalists of the police is somewhere in the wrong place and god forbid it blows up . god, i want to call, god, i can’t step anywhere, well, i have to, i have to do it, everything was safe with them, organizational work well, we drive there, well, to those places where they wouldn’t have gone without me hmm

that’s how you already drive a car i’ll point out that before a full-scale war i was just studying and didn't have much experience. now i understand that you are practicing to the full. but i am practicing. i am probably old here because here we have to cross pontoon crossings. we drive off-road. it is so interesting to me. i think damn, here i am in such extreme conditions and i know how to be here by car, and then i will come to kyiv . it is probably just at the level of chumak, friends. as a woman warrior directly and as a woman warrior

directly i will not say that well i will speak er for myself that is, i cannot say it all his women i will not say that it is difficult for me here er no er on the contrary angelica men they prepare food for me, even if it's nothing, they help me with everything to transfer something heavy somewhere there if it is necessary to take it there bring something you even now i have arrived and i say yes i have an interview with angelica for me let 's do everything they here sterling included everything for me so that i could have a connection i talk to you a lot coffee there they will do something with the guest. well, hmm, enough work and attention. oh, i just really thought that at the front, there can be three ways of treating a woman , so maybe you can

correct me. said the following thrifty, caring, it is possible to refuse a woman from some more difficult tasks, to provide more security for her, and thirdly, it is so sexist, they say that women do not belong at the front, but you are like that, what else have you heard from my brothers, the same thing was said to me by some people there , uh, why did you forget your children here? they are lying come on come back i say well wait they start if i want to come back now i am voluntarily mobilized i can't right now i'm just oh i'm bored goodbye i'm gone we're all now serving for victory that is, i'm already here saying that hello be please, respect and more well, don't tell me that, uh, well, these are such isolated cases, of course, without this angelica, without this, no way, i have also encountered this when i came to the military commissar, i

came what have you forgotten here, do you know where you are going, as they told me when i already passed the medical board of the military commissariat, the medic told me that you were going to the war. i say well, and he says yes, they are shooting there. and i tell him, i will call the police if there is shooting. i was just joking . they drove me, he turned me away from the army, my mother said no, you don’t need to. go back home, be a volunteer, do something there, be on your information front, but here are such moments, if at all. well, i thought about it, that is, about getting into the army. i thought about it. for about three years, i was still when i was working at espresso, i had such thoughts, but of course there was fear, confusion, how would i be able to be there, or would

i be able to endure psychologically? spoke i thought about it that is these were my thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, and then at some point i realized that it was necessary not to think anymore, but to act, and therefore, when i had already made up my mind, when i had already set myself up and when they started rejecting me at the military commissariat, and um, there are some of my friends who knew. that is, you, do you remember? you didn't even know that i was going to the army, that is, i didn't tell anyone because i knew that you would all reject me. and at that moment, i wanted to be told there, nastya, i'm there i am proud of your choice there. good afternoon. there we will be something for you there to help, yes, well, i wanted to hear these words, but in the end, the military commissariat rejected me even when i was already in the training school, that is, there was no way back, i could not just go home, i already, well, if i

got into the training school, there is only one way - this is already hm to join the they refused their brigade then and there, everyone refused to go home and well, because i am a woman, i am a woman, i still need to give birth, this is the argument , eh. how will nastya be in general as a woman, what difficulties do you face at the front? you face them every day. well, if i'm honest, i already solved these problems. they give me a uniform , give me a weapon, and they gave me this uniform, i put it on myself, there was no mirror to look at myself , and i went to look at myself, and then when

i had the opportunity to look around, i saw that i have this shoulder where the shoulder should be hangs to the elbow of my pants, the fur is so thick, my pants are ankle-length, just here, very short, uh, then, uh, here, here, natalia had to pull them up like this 15 times so that the pants wouldn't fall down, the flowers are almost up to my knees, like this and i realized that i look like, well, you know, there are beautiful military personnel who put up photos of me , well, who is far away, yes, and there, someone there, someone remembers me with my comrades, took a picture of me. i think , lord, what should i do? well, if it is easier for men, for example, but they were given a uniform if you like me came up, they left, they just changed it to another

, gave them a different size and they all went away happy, there is no such thing for women here, i found the smallest uniform size and it didn’t fit me at all, it’s all the same from the men’s uniform, it’s correct , there is no longer an approved female uniform and they are just developing it and in fact, if it wasn't funny, but it's more. it's already snow through tears, because we have the ninth year of the war, i'll remind you, and not the ninth month, and that's why it's somehow very strange why, for so many years, we always had a woman at the front they developed this women's uniform, panties, excuse me, socks well, for example, socks are made of white linen, that's all mine , men are given the only thing that i need to remove with thermal underwear and you know what kind of stripes i have in the groin area, men? the problem is honestly not a problem to buy, because

each of the military personnel receives money on my card, that is, i buy everything for myself, well , it’s not normal not to provide it from the state, it’s elementary things, it’s elementary, and that’s how we have it. how can it not be? i agree because indeed, the 9th year of the war, the 9th year of the war, and there were always women in the army, and if i couldn't wear my clothes there that would suit me, yes, and go, no, we should have a pixel military uniform, ours, well , there were just such moments for example, they let me go to a store there, there are all sorts of military stores, i think. well, i’ll buy them there, i’ll come, but there are no sizes there either. well, there are no sizes, it’s a good thing that there are volunteers. for example, volunteers who were engaged in sewing women’s uniforms. i accidentally came across them on instagram. i’ll tell you right away i wrote i want you order uniforms i immediately reset all my parameters

, they emphasized that i am tall, well, i have long legs, my problem is that i always wear short pants. - it's cold, well, you really are, especially now it's already cold, i can't be fashionable here because i'm here. i have to dress normally , and it turns out that hmm, luckily, i came across this page, uh, they offered me that they could send this form for free, i refused not she said no, i will buy it from you because i understand that they themselves collect money for uniforms for women that they sew, and i paid 2,200 for this uniform, that is the cost price, that is, i paid for the fabric for the work, they did not charge me, that is, that is how i appeared women's uniforms, in fact, once again raise the issue, no one wants to somehow dispel treason there, but winter clothes are even men's

. as far as i know, not all military personnel are still provided for, although the government allocated funds for this. but why such a late reaction with orders from state well, it is not clear, everything is due to volunteers, everything is due to international organizations, it is somehow very strange, strange, strange, but i do not know the explanation why there is not, not because there is such a problem, there is no winter uniform yet, but, for example, well, as we were promised that in two weeks, we already have it with "will appear, that is, they are already writing this form, they are sewing it up, soon it will eat you, but it is specifically for our battalion there, because we are served here by very good people who really knock out, who negotiate there, who spend a lot of time, effort and energy they spend on it, i don't know how it is in other

brigade battalions. well, i don't know, but we should have it soon. but again, there was a size there , it won't be the same with shoes, nastya, and hygiene products are actually a big problem, you said there about dry shampoo but this is already a certain luxury for yourself , because volunteers can give it to you, but the state does not particularly provide hygiene products for women. all the shampoos are there sanitary napkins well, everything is there somewhere, which everyone can understand. well, i bought it all. i came with it, and then the volunteers already gave us a ride. there are a lot of volunteers. it helps me when they drive me. i try to give it to everyone. they leave a little for me. i just share it with everyone. i know, hmm, should the state provide us with these

hygiene products? well, i think that we will definitely buy them ourselves. there are still possible problems with us, which are still possible problems that are not voiced like this in general, but you noted for yourself that women have this there is not enough clothing uniform clothes everything more such problems honestly everything is fine ok then let 's move on to the one that is probably the most painful and the question for you this war is connected with a personal tragedy i think the whole of ukraine everyone knows and your love story with oleksandr makhov your fiancé who unfortunately died on may 4 this year in the village of dovgenke in kharkiv oblast, a piece of debris got into his lung,

and you recently told in an interview, showed the place where it happened, where this tragedy happened, i will not ask you how to survive it mountains because i know that you did not survive, i will not ask atb how to deal with this pain because i know that it still hurts you very much i will ask you how to live with this grief and with this pain because it is important that you from your experience gave some advice to those women or families who also lose sons, husbands, daughters, all the same with this pain there i continue to live i wake up with i don't know i'm still there a minute i still think about it uh hmm just

not worth it that's it i understand that i myself am very fixated on this - fixated, but still i try to somehow distract myself with some kind of work and do something because, well, if i closed myself off from you all from the support of people close to me, and you in particular, because you have supported me a lot for a year and are still supporting me, it would probably be more difficult for me if i sat at home and i kept it all to myself, but i had it for 20 days, i was 21 days, three weeks, but i had it after the burial, eh. i just went to my sister in zaporizhzhia, my native place. i can't because she is so it hurts so hard and i realized that i just need to return to life before civilization, that is, i

needed to meet with friends, i went back to work, uh, i tried to arrange some small joys for myself there, small trips, i allowed myself, it distracted me and burdened me, so i really - i thought up a lot of things for myself on the day, i would just go home and go to bed without strength because i would be very tired, so, so , the first time, and i stretched. well, then i realized that hmm, what i want to be among heroes among heroes among the military who later became my brothers and sisters and that is why i went on to the army nastya i'm sorry right away my question may sound cynical but i'm not

asking you as a friend as a journalist i just know that you were always brave even before a full-scale war and such a goal-oriented, very stubborn girl in a good sense, but when did you decide to go to war, first of all. these were your first feelings. it was bravery or a state of affect from loss, maybe it seemed so to me. to be honest, the first moments when i found out that you were looking for danger for yourself. i wanted to be where sasha was and feel what he went through. i didn't come here to look for death. i don't want to die. it's true because i have a lot of hope for this life. connected with the fact

that the old-timers will have a memory of their sashka. hmm, then some plan will appear for me. well, they are appearing little by little, but i didn't come here to die. that's for sure. i don't want to die. i don't want to look for death, but well, i have such a dulled fear, er, i won't say that it's cool here, yes, no, no it must be because because there must be an instinct, an instinct for self-preservation, when something falls, you hear it must fall. that is, i have this, but i won’t say that i don’t have fear at all, no, it exists, but this fear is drowned, well, the instinct of self-preservation

is present to me there, when i hear something flying, when i hear some exits or something else, i fall to the ground, as it should be. and how did you manage to get to the place where oleksandr makhov was near and where he died? how did it happen? by chance, did you want to be exactly where it is not it’s not by chance. it happened by chance. no, i myself found opportunities to serve. in this direction, well, it’s in order to continue what sasha didn’t finish. to defend, you mean the motherland? well, exactly, in this direction where he was. because he fought here. until the last 70 days, 70 days i was in such a hellish hell, terrible

. when we already went to this long one, it is not far from here , and when i saw that village there, it was big in general , and when i saw how broken they were, well, it was simply erased. you know this village in me which one the first question was how is he in general, my sasha is still trying 70 days of them here. well, he, uh, he has been with me for a long time, and he himself is in 70 days. to remain whole there for so long because well, some of the products there are terrible from those bombs and how everything was erased there, i don’t know hmm just like you probably wanted all ukrainians to go and see what kind of hell

our military was in in order to realize and understand why that well, i understand that there is journalism, that's all they show, but the picture on television doesn't convey that, it doesn't convey that, tell me now, when you are there near the place of your personal tragedy, your pain, despair , what do you think? to these thoughts and so on, even being physically so close, angelica was a leech in kyiv, she was in every street, every street where we went with sasha to cinemas, restaurants, my god, everything yes, well, that's exactly everything, that's why well, i don't regret it, i where

now i think i need it where i feel comfortable hmm before i need to move on i still need to go to luhansk children oleksandr makhov is just from luhansk and i will remind everyone yes and he dreamed very much that in luhansk he would return to ukraine again as this should be and it seems to me with your motivation , nastya, you will go there, i must be in you, i said to myself, no matter how long it takes, well, i know for sure that we will liberate luhansk, it will soon be in luhansk, donetsk, my kherson region, all our territories will return to us, well, that is, now how do we we see how intensively the armed forces of ukraine are liberating and i understood that every counteroffensive is hmm that's a lot

of blood, that russian blood on the drum just like that, these lands will not return, and i myself, even when i did not join the armed forces of ukraine, said to myself how many were there, it didn't take me a year 2 5 10 20 i don't know, well, i hope that it will be as soon as possible, but i i'll walk in lugansk i'll walk with our yellow today it's a must it's what sasha didn't have time for again what he dreamed about he dreamed about it