that the child during one and the same month, two or three months, he loses the war, this is also a sign. well, a little bit of such already traumatic experience is something interesting about the war. that is, she plays by herself with her toys, and the mother, well, the parents, and there, for example, those who are close to the child have watching her games and e it happens in the game so it happens thunder because the child is fighting she can kill she can even know how in 15-16 years or a lot of children they watched well the death of an animal for example yes that is it was some kind of little animal, they tortured her there , then watched how it happens, this is also a sign of trauma because, as a child, she cannot somehow understand or understand exactly how it happens, she wants to observe it and understand that she has power over someone

's life, this is also a sign of injury. that is to say , you know a lot now. well, i know that many guys who now go to our soldiers and they are standing at the roadblock there or there they are playing in the fact that they are defending there or they are also creating roadblocks there well, if we understand that there is still a war going on, then this is, well, this is a conditionally okay replay of what is happening for children, because they also copy adults, they are also interested in how it happens. but if it happens already when we win, it will be after the war, then this is 100%, this is not ok. that is, for the child , it is necessary to switch it from the peaceful way of playing to the peaceful life. you know such a conditional conditional understanding that there is still a war going on and

children somehow have to live with it. i also want to move away from the age categories a little we are now let's continue, but since you said about the game, how dangerous it is in general, the fact that now most of the children, especially the boys, have started to choose toys specifically for weapons, and mothers talk and talk about the fact that they want to play with weapons, is it normal at all , or again it's some kind of trauma, its manifestation, well , listen, you know, it's normal in what we live in. and it can't be. that is, it's not normal . there is, i don't know, a member families, they are at war and they copy this

behavior and also we all now. thank you to the zasu , that is, the armed forces for all of us heroes, it is so and of course that little boys also want to join and they also want to be heroes, that is, during the war - this is conditionally normal . it will be abnormal if it happens , you know, like ritualization after the war and other ways of playing, the child will not have other ways of life, that is, the child will then be guilty . in such a modern sparta, when this is really our hope - this is something that fascinates everyone, because the armed forces are now titans on which the whole country really stands, that is, of course, it's not ok, but now it's ok, ms. alyona, then let's

continue and children over 8 years old what happens to them and what behavior is most often manifested in them, well, it is also sleep disorders. that is, it is also insomnia. it is irritability . somatic disorders are when a child emotionally cannot say or react, and she shows it through her body, this is such emotional lability when the child starts to cry more or, on the contrary , she withdraws into herself in general, when we talk, you know about such an age as 9-10-11 years this is a very difficult year, and then also teenagers, because at this moment the child begins to be more interested in what is happening in the world in general, how it is built in general

, that is, what is death, what is life? why exactly do we live ? the time when the uh goes away that is, children start to ask such questions and why exactly this is happening because you told me that life is good because many fairy tales tell about the fact that there is a lot of good in life and there is justice and now why exactly yes happens and thus they put parents in a situation where we don't have an answer to this question because it's really unfair and we don't know and parents start to run away from these questions because they don't have an answer and then it breaks such an emotional connection between a child and a family and also a mother or a father because a-ah-eh children begin to understand that well, there is no answer, that is, there is no sincerity and openness, and here i suggest uh-eh parents to

always be frank and say you know, i don't know, it's not the norm is what is happening, i.e. it shouldn't be like this. it's really unfair, but sometimes humanity loses its own. as they say, you know the cuckoo right there. that is, we went a little out of our minds there, we went out of our minds there, and it's about frankness, that is, even if parents do not have answers to the questions please say yes and say i don't know you know i've lived life but i don't know let's think together with you that how exactly do we want how exactly do we want to build our lives because at this age it is very important not to lose touch with child so that she also has an explanation of why and what is happening, because if she does not have an explanation, she will understand and a-and then stop with herself this is to bear the fact that life and light are not too cruel without some kind of understanding there is something else. that is, she will be afraid to live and move

next, let's move on to teenagers, teenagers, that's why i got to this point . teenagers are the most difficult thing right now, because first of all, they are very supported by their peers , that is, it is very important for them to have circle of friends and now because of the fact that many children have left, that is, they have lost their uh, that's what the usual connection with the supporting circle is . able to receive support through friends they do not go to schools they don't have this support and it's also, well, you know, like a bell for parents that please support children , talk to them, because teenagers can

sink into themselves, they can not talk and there is such a, well, understanding, there is such a term like teenage depression, it is just very different from what we understand, like depression it may not be noticed, it is when the child begins to withdraw and he withdraws into himself and then well, after a year or two years, we can understand or find out that the child even she was trying to damage herself there or she was drinking a lot of alcohol because she started smoking or she was there somehow uh she had a suicide attempt that is teenagers are such a risk group during the war the most because she may not be supported at all because the support of parents is not so relevant, but the support of friends is now. well, it is destroyed. and ukrainian

parents have stereotypical opinions that their children do not need a psychologist at all, they believe that they can completely handle their child themselves and some are worried about the unprofessionalism of the psychologist, who, they say, can only do harm , sociologists assure and declare that in june of this year, the research company act-groups, together with the all-ukrainian initiative of the active community, conducted a study on the problems and needs of internally displaced families, in particular, focusing on children, sociologists came to the conclusion that after the experience, it is very difficult for some children to socialize; children who were forced to leave their homes miss their home and friends; they suffer from a lack of attention and personal space, unsure of the future, worried about the daily news, and also experienced difficulties in adapting to a new place. there were even cases when children thought about oppression due to the status of an

internally displaced person, and it is inappropriate to give advice at all on how to tell children about the war, because we have been living in it for almost 10 months and our the children have already found an explanation for what is happening, of course, everyone in their own way, but how to correct their worldview if it causes them suffering, so mrs. alyona, what to do. let's start when the sirens sound for this is not new to our children and many of them protest, the children refuse, for example, to get dressed, go to the shelter, they can throw tantrums, how to be parents. well, be patient, because it is very tiring. that is, it is tiring for both adults and children. the emotional resource of a container of space in order to go through

it tens of hundreds of times, that is, it will be patient and well to tell, in general, it is very nice with small children to go down the bomb shelter like uh well like a game that is, there us you and i are being chased there, let's run away now come on, who will get dressed there as soon as possible and run away, when we are talking about more adult children, they understand or do not understand the consequences of what is happening, and the same teenagers, they can ignore the bean store because it is a challenge for them, that is, i i'm already an adult, i make my own decisions and i'm not afraid , because teenagers generally have that trait. that is, it's such a trait, it's already such a code not to be afraid, that is, to be afraid is, well, to admit that you're weak, and teenagers don't want to think about it at all, and then it's so it's also a challenge for parents, and you need to be patient and talk and talk about what well,

look, i'm afraid and that's normal, come on well, that's how it is with me about a-a being together, i also wanted to say about what, you know, mistrust of psychologists is generally like that the problem of mental culture in ukraine, when we talk about mental help, psychological help for children , we imagine that a psychologist will harm him because we do not understand what exactly he will do. and in general, most children. they do not need some kind of focused trauma or some kind of there, well, they need such special psychological help, they need these groups of children's groups of adaptation, that is, when children, with the help of psychologists, they return to their activities, that is, games, they draw, they sculpt something with pens, they tell something there, they move there, they dance or that is, they sing. that is all that

a child should do. most of them, 70% , even 80% of children, they need. there are already 20 or 15-30% of such adaptation groups there - it depends on the region or region, those children need more professional trauma-focused care. that is, when we talk about psychological help, we have no idea what exactly will happen, that's why we are afraid of it, because now everyone doesn't want to face anything new, because everyone is tired of this new thing. well, i want to to say that staying in a shelter is already stressful and the child is deprived of the usual comfort, besides, he sees nervous adults who are afraid of the arrival and teachers and child psychologists, with the support of the ministry of education and science, launched a telegram channel which

called support the child, they publish daily simple recommendations, games and developing exercises that can be performed in a storage room at home or, for example, during an evacuation, the authors prepare materials in text format that are easy to download with unstable internet access, so what to do in shelters, in particular, there are tips for dealing with children and adults must keep calm themselves, first of all, this is the key to the psychological balance of children, calmly tell children what is happening and what they need to do in the event of a long stay in the shelter, you should regularly give the little ones to drink and eat, hug the children often, hold their hands , rock them and fall asleep next to them, and in general, psychologists recommend that you need to sleep at every opportunity, if possible, you should go out every hour to get fresh air. if the

children are fussy, then this is a good sign, because no one fidgety when it's scary, if anxiety increases, do something useful and involve the children in this process to relieve physical tension, jump with the children in place a hundred times, this will give a sense of support mrs. alyona, what advice would you personally add? occupy the children in the shelter in order to prove that this fear is to reduce it to a minimum, well, in general , the recommendation for movement is one hundred percent for everyone , that is, it is desirable for everyone to move there, jump, a-a, i can dance, i am in well, i am against dancing there very much a-a, you know how fun it is, and in general don't talk about what's happening, but you can say that let's settle with you somehow let's do a movement with you because through the body we also release the tension, firstly

and secondly, we return to the body, we return to the understanding of what where we are what with what is happening to us? hugging is very good. i generally did a lot. i love breathing exercises. that is, you can rhythmically inhale and exhale with the child. you can do the butterfly exercise. that is, when you slap yourself like that. you can make a butterfly with your child, you can draw with your child, jump, you can breathe, that is, say there, talk about something, for example, let's go for 10 with you, we inhale quickly, then we exhale quickly, then slowly, everything that brings the child back to his body, to his emotions, to his the understanding that she is here, she is now and as well as a child. yes, a father or a mother, that is, a family

, everything that brings us back to the body to the understanding that we are here, that we lived, and then you can say that, you know. i also worry, that is, i am always about openness about the fact that no a-a hmm tell the child that it's not ok what's wrong with you? well, why can't you worry? that is, you worry before and worry about it and you need to talk about it because then it's also an emotional contact you keep, see, children mostly don't know how to recognize and express their emotions, so manifestation feelings happens through behavior and i want the parents to hear us now. and you gave an answer for them because, since we already said that very often ukrainian parents do not trust psychologists. and this is in vain . you can't do that, so what changes in the child's behavior signal exactly about the fact that she needs psychological help, that the parents should see something in the behavior so that it will alert them. well, everything is unusual, everything that the child

did not show before is now showing, that is, this sleep disorder and digestive disorder and emotional lability, as i already said, and such. well, you know like freezing in this game about war and for example curiosity about death that does not go away, that is, everything that the child did not regress before. for example, if she lost interest in learning or playing everything that happens to books that she loved in the past, for example or if you see that cognitively the child does not pull what she pulled before, for example, she used to study there, and now she can’t pass there 2.2, well, that is, everything that needs such unusual attention on your part, that is , what you they didn't pay attention before, but now they do oops and we looked, it’s there. that is, it all also

needs, well, additional focus on your part. and maybe a specialist. and in general, they like to hug each other, be frank and tell about what you also feel. what happens to you? well, it also happens, and it is because of you that the child will be to learn to go through such difficult moments of crisis in life, because well, we really want war to never happen again, but other difficult moments in life are in ours, because it is difficult , so it will also be like this, well, an example of how a child can live through you, such difficult moments, ms. alyona, well, you said about some unusual behavior, but we know that war is not an ordinary situation not only for children, but also for adults, therefore, adults sometimes during the war, as you know

, talk a lot now, they show themselves and behave as well it is unusual. therefore, it is possible to somehow teach children to understand their emotions and control them. is it possible at all? well, it is possible if the family. support and talking about emotions in the family, if there is such a thing at all. well, there is such emotional warmth in the family, the child is growing up here and she has this experience. you are very right about the fact that it is already what month. the war and everyone is tired, that is, the adults are also tired and there is no resource for adults. and in general, i understand that being mobilized there for more than six or seven months is very difficult

, very much, that is why i say that there are a lot of adults, they do not have a resource now in order to play with the child in order to a-a always to be there with her, on the same page, on the same page, to be interested in what is happening to her in her life, that's why there are support groups and or a groups where the child can play with his peers, where the child can generally return to such a conditional of a normal life. these groups are like this, well, they help adults first of all, and now when many children cannot go to kindergarten and school, that is, if families have the opportunity to even unite there as neighbors and for children to play together, this will also be a lot of support if you have the opportunity to talk to someone and even there to whine about what you know i'm so tired because it's very difficult it's so on the edge of survival you're what

people are going through now it's also very helpful because it's also well such a you know how ah, dumping all the emotional, well, such accumulated garbage, if you can say so, there are two minutes left, and i also want you to comment very briefly. i have a separate question about children whose mothers were taken abroad during the war. these children they they are separated from their fathers, relatives and friends. they are forced to go to other educational institutions where everything is foreign and unusual. it is somehow possible to help them accept these changes and socialize in a new place. you are right that the crisis is for those who stayed, as riza is for those who left, and of course as well as support as well as curiosity as well as frankness and also well such an attempt you know how abroad in poland

and in germany there are a lot of ukrainian families they are families they unite and they also through these associations help children not eh hmm to feel left out not to feel isolated because if you go to school there in another country you face not only that you are different you face the language issue because you can not speak or speak badly and this and that too well that is isolation for a child this can also be the beginning of such a traumatic experience if she is not then integrated into this circle, this is society, and it is also interesting to turn to psychologists in order for them to support the child and help her to get out of this the situation is correct well, it is always better to contact a specialist, that is, i will once again emphasize the fact that the conversation and support of

a specialist is not only there, there is some very specialized help, it can even be support groups when the child is just a game, but it is played for exercises selected by a psychologist, that is, for the children who left , then there will be another such and such a crisis. when they return, they will also be isolated in that circle or society where they have not been there for nine or six months . why were you with us today at sorry it's time our program is over, but there are still a lot of questions. i still have a lot of questions for you, so i think we will meet again. we will see each other again on our broadcasts , because there is something to talk about. i thank you, thank you, and i want to remind our viewers that a clinical psychologist was in touch with us today alyona lukyanchuk, a trauma therapist and an expert of the international organization sos children's towns, and i just want to remind you that

we have already given some advice in the program, but the channel's experts will also support the child and have prepared advice on how to interact with various should groups children during wartime so babies need to be helped to explore the world through everyday objects teach the baby to control simple interactions recognize explore and control objects pictures sounds textures and tastes help them learn how to get the desired response from people and objects babies should be helped to explore the connections between objects objects and attempts and ways to manage them play hide-and-seek help the child understand himself as part of a community and develop language skills work on the use of imitation symbols in the game preschoolers need help developing friendships and play skills with other children experiment with children how to achieve the desired results with objects and people play with a constructor help the child develop increasingly

complex large fine motor skills and teach the child to plan ahead with children of primary school age up to 8 years learn skills work in a group, including cooperation and conflict resolution follow the rules created by others and also create your own rules that you should follow and want to say that involve everyone's children in the everyday games, hug children and love your children they will definitely be able to survive all this together with you thanks to love i was with you iryna koval and the health program take care of yourself greetings friends i ask for a few minutes of your attention and very i hope for your concern. it can really help us find the missing child. let's do

everything possible to bring this girl home. please look carefully at her photo. her name is anya khmarska. unfortunately, she has disappeared and is currently being sought. there is little information about the girl. but the most important thing is that we have her photo and know some important data, for example, we know the exact date of birth of anya - it is december 24, 2010. now the girl is 12 years old. it is known that anya disappeared in the city of kherson. contact with anna was cut off and to this day there is no news about her, where she is and with whom the girl is now unknown when anna disappeared in the summer kherson was still under occupation, so because of this there were much less opportunities to start a search in the first days of her unfortunately, a long time has passed since her disappearance, but of course we continue the search for ania khmarska and believe that with your help we will be able to find the missing girl or at least

get some information about her, as the experience of the children's search service shows, it is possible to find a missing child even in the most difficult situations, even when it seemed there is no more hope and no chances, for example, back in the fall , it was possible to find 17-year-old ihor tytskyi, who was considered missing for more than six months. by the way, anya khmarska also disappeared and gordytskyi in the kherson region , nothing was known about him for a very long time, but we believed until the end, we did not lose hope and did everything possible to find the boy, and in the end we succeeded, as it turned out, the boy was under occupation all the time and could not report himself, it was truly indescribable joy when we found out that the village where igor lives was released, and the main thing is that the guy is alive and well. and we even received this video from him, in which he confirmed that everything is fine. my name is pressure. today, i am 31 years old, the year is 1922

, i live in the village of khersonska oblast with this and grandmother 17 everything is fine and it is very important to help find igor tytskyi it was you, our caring viewers, who helped us after we made a program about igor , our hotline 116,000 received several extremely important calls from witnesses who saw igor who told where he is there and everything is fine with him let's listen to 50 m news and we would like to help you so that they search so that they think what he did where did he come from that he is alive healthy heart is fine we are now in the city of lviv and there the situation is that we came from kherson and i came from a sunny village. he is alive with doroga and lives with grandma . so, as you can see, thanks to you and your care, there is always a chance to find the missing child. so, i sincerely believe in a happy ending in the story of anna khmarskaya, please. do not be

indifferent and attentive look at the photo of the girl, she has a bright appearance and is quite easy to remember. anya looks 11-12 years old. she is thin, has light hair and brown eyes, so if you recognize anya khmarska, you know where she is or you know at least some information about her please don't delay and contact the child tracing service immediately, our hotline number 116,000 calls from all mobile operators are free, you also have the opportunity to write to the chatbot of the child tracing service in telegram, don't be indifferent, let's all try to find anya khmatska together