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tv   Kennedy  FOX Business  September 21, 2016 12:00am-1:01am EDT

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tonight. good night from new york. . kennedy: tonight, wild new details about the suspect in the past weekend's bombings in new york and new jersey. are his trips to the middle east clues to radicalization? the party panel is here to discuss. plus hillary clinton appears to be hemorrhaging support for millennials. where is the under 30 crowd going? here's a hint. not to donald trump. if you use a big bank, check your statement, the ceo of one of the biggest apologized for systematically ripping off his own customers. we'll tell you how. grab a notebook. time to get schooled. the afghan born new jersey bomber has so many people scratching their heads you think we'd have collective life. how does the man who received asylum in the loving arms of
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the united states devour the fruits of her bosom and murder her children? he's a psychoticsal little cretan and ahmad rahami worked in his family's chicken restaurant where they hosted rap battles and annoyed the neighbors and made several trips to afghanistan and pakistan where they beat and rape and murder women. how does one failed terrorist make life harder for you and me? he legitimatemizes the restrictionism by making mass deportations, profiling and borders sound like a reasonable solution to islamic inspired acts of terror. he's a one-man political ad for donald trump. >> we're going to have to start profiling. i don't know if it's that bad but certainly not a wonderful thing, but we have a country to keep safe and we're not going to keep our country safe. you see this happening and you know and i know it's going to get worse. kennedy: the thing is above all
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else, i want to keep our country free. people like the portly fanatic rahami want to kill us and destroy our freedom. he does not deserve to live in the united states or even at all. it is true when we give into a motion without considering outcomes, we compromise our own freedoms by enacting freedoms that squash our rights and how and why one radicalize in the first place. they filed a discrimination suit claiming the city was unfair to them and their restaurant because of religion and one fellow business owner told them, quote, muslims make too much trouble in this country. wow. you sure proved him wrong, genius! i don't care how your islamic death cult rationalizes murder. what i do care is members of the community don't defend or police itself. that leads to policies and wars that lead to stronger message, kill more muslims but never get to the heart of why and how and
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what could stop and replace the spread of jihadism. until someone can satisfactorily answer that riddle, they're not allowed to exacerbate problems without practical solutions. i will solve your riddle, i'm kennedy. >> ahmad khan rahami. his name sounds like vomit. he's under lock and key after a shoot-out with authorities. union county prosecutors could charge him with attempted murder as early as friday, probably tuesday. get to the party panel, nomiki konst host of the filter. katherine mangu-ward, the editor in chief of "reason" magazine, i've got a subscription or five. glen is here, the u.s. news editor that is a very important job. welcome everyone. >> hi. kennedy: happiest tuesday. should we just hug the hate
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right out of rahami? should we tweek it away and make it better by understanding problems with love? >> no! of course not. kennedy: what should we do then? >> i think this is such a complicated thing, that's why none of the candidates know how to deal with it. kennedy: they don't. they're doing a poor job of explaining. >> absolutely. at least one has knowledge of muslim countries, whereas the other -- kennedy: yeah, she took out millions of dollars, tens of millions of dollars from countries. >> you got to there. the reality is you have a situation where this man's father even called authorities to say that he was concerned about his son being a terrorist. they can't just track anybody. that's the problem. we have laws and our government has been under criticism for exploiting the laws and taking advantage of them and rebranding things like spying on muslim mosques, which is why the communities feel ostracized and don't feel the comfort or trust to go authorities like
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this man's own father did to say my son might be looking at websites on the internet or maybe not going to get a wife in pakistan but actually getting trained. kennedy: what's the most important question for you that is missing in this discussion glen hall from the "wall street journal"? >> we don't know the origins to do the attack. it's clear he was radicalized some way, somehow, answer. kennedy: which is different from san bernardino and orlando in that the terrorists there who had clear motivations and left a footprint of why and how. >> also similarities. for example, in san bernardino we had naturalized u.s. citizen who found a wife abroad and brought her back and they together became sort of a bonnie and clyde evil twin. kennedy: and the tsarnaev brothers, like the tsarnaevs, rahami is the son of an asylee. >> you have rahami going to afghanistan and traveling back and both to pakistan meeting his now wife and bringing her
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back along with his child. we don't know what happened during that time he spent almost a year-over-in afghanistan and pakistan traveling back and forth between the countries. kennedy: kind of the opposite of what i said and what i really believe is you are never going to get to the heart of the problem and killing a bunch of people doesn't solve the problem unless you see the motivation, where do you stand on that? >> easy to say if we could get more data, if we could look at the population eit muslims globally, whatever it is, somehow we can get enough information to solve this problem and we're never going to. this is a great example. they had the crucial piece of information here. his father made this call. kennedy: what's the disconnect then? i think you're absolutely right. in all three of the cases that i mentioned, there was an interface with law enforcement, but these were all missed, what are we missing? obviously we don't live in a surveillance stage. >> i think the explanation is
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the incentives for politician says to look like they're solving the problem rather than actually solving it. one way to look like you're solving the problem is call for greater surveillance, greater restrictions on travel, greater restrictions on immigration that looks like a solution. kennedy: again, criminalizing behavior so you treat everyone as though they're doing something wrong, but again, that sucks up so many resources that the people who are doing bad things are free to terrorize others? >> there's also the microstory which is underplayed. his family's restaurant, they sense you're hearing from the family, they were targeted because of their religion. the restaurant was forced to close earlier than others in the neighborhood. they were harassed by law enforcement. kennedy: that's sad and a bummer but i certainly hope you're not making the leap that that justifies him becoming a radical terrorist. >> no. but what i do think is that -- some ways this is me saying this current event reinforces
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preexisting beliefs, but there are too many laws surrounding these small business owners. the fact there were zoning laws and noise ordinances to target the family, whether or not because of religion, made them feel persecuted. kennedy: okay, that's fine. that's one thing to feel persecuted and to file lawsuits. >> none of what he did afterwards is remotely an appropriate response. kennedy: not making any connection between the two. that's like saying i hacked up my neighbor's family because they kept complaining about my dog barking. >> i have done that. problem? kennedy: such a libertarian. donald trump and hillary clinton have been very busy painting the other as totally unqualified to fight this kind of terrorism. clinton has suggested that trump's words could be treasonous saying, quote, we know from the former head of the counterterrorism center matt olson that the language mr. trump used is giving aid
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and comfort to our adversaries. do you really think that she can make the case that donald trump has somehow committed treason? >> i wouldn't say treason, but i would say he's definitely taking advantage of every opportunity to be the candidate. this is a guy that can't control the media right now. can't control tweets, can't control his own supporters. >> there's a big difference between i'm trying to use as much political coverage as i on potential person so i can win the election, somehow what i'm doing is giving aid and comfort to terrorists. you understand those two are completely different things? >> i do think he's giving aid and comfort to terrorists. i wouldn't say treason. his rhetoric by going to marginalizing a community. isis sent out information saying this is how we recruit people. we take advantage of the rhetoric in america and use that to recruit people in
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america who feel marginalized. kennedy: the rhetoric is two sided here and t other -- they're both trying to cast their opponent as the greater terrorist bait. >> amazing how it ramps up. when you city from hillary clinton going back and donald trump going forward, it's a lot of talk but not getting down to the substance of solving the problems. i think we need a discussion that gets what are you going to do about it? there is some difference between the two. hillary clinton was talking about we need more vigilance, we need more police, law enforcement, national security efforts. kennedy: the intelligence surge is terrifying. >> donald trump is saying we need to be careful who we let into the country, to go as far as profiling. it's a clear contrast, a choice for america on the issue. kennedy: there needs to be a better case made for how things like that, which hit people in the gut, maybe we shouldn't keep people out of the country, use better profiling. i don't want dumpsters blowing
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up in my neighborhood. but the problem is there's not enough of a solid argument being made on the other side that guys, be careful, when you ask for this, you get this on the other side, and it affects you. >> i think we've seen how hard the lone wolf scenario is to prevent. one thing we're losing sight of is how quickly law enforcement was able to find the suspect and take him down. kennedy: if only we could do it before the attack. a bunch of people got raided and pressure cookers were taken away. >> i'd rather have the one. kennedy: that's what you want! you don't realize it until you are too tired. former cia officer is coming up. and what to do to minimize your chances of getting injured or worse? is the presidential debate rigged?
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. kennedy: achieving prosperity. securing america. and determining the direction of the country. those are the topics of next week's presidential debate, but donald trump is already crying foul about a moderator. >> and by the way, lester is a democrat, look, it's a phony system.
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lester is a democrat. i mean, they're all democrats, okay? it's a very unfair system. kennedy: all right, is that a legitimate concern or is he hedging his bets in case he does poorly. glenn hall, i will start with you. he's already going after lester holt. it paints lester hold into an uncomfortable corner, he's got to go andrea mitchell and toss hillary softballs or goes rogue matt lauer and super easy on trump. what does lester holt do here? >> straight down the middle the way he does. no matter what he does, no doubt this will be returned, and he'll be hearing how bad it was, his moderating, if donald trump doesn't do well and hear from the clinton camp same thing if she doesn't do well. both of them are as donald trump put it, gaming the ref, trying to stack the deck and force the ref to play a different game. and the ref isn't supposed to be playing. kennedy: no, and donald trump said maybe there shouldn't be a
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moderator and that is getting traction now. katherine, you are the editor in chief of the premiere libertarian magazine called "reason." if you were one of the moderators and sitting at the foot of that stage, what would you ask each of these candidates? >> i want to say, dear, god why? throw it open. i do think that this is -- these vague fluffy topics that they listed, oh, it's going to be -- kennedy: american direction. >> the soaring eagle of the statue of liberty of america. kennedy: blah, blah, blah. >> so much more than the vague, stupid launching points. >> i do think asking questions about basic principles is something i would like to hear, what are the important principles that would govern your administration? not i'm going to be really tough, or not no, i'm tougher than him or her. kennedy: i worry he's going to set people up.
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>> how do you face off between security and freedom? that's the question i want answered and it never is, and unfortunately all due respect to lester holt i'm not sure he's going to assess the answer. kennedy: i'm not sure anyone is up to the job. i think we want to see the two people going at it and have as few delineations as possible. am i wrong? >> this is going to be primetime tv, probably the most exciting debate ever. kennedy: within the fight, could there be something of substance that helps people decide one way or the other who they hate more? >> i'm already there. i know who i hate more. that's the reason why the moderator is there. what i want to see the moderator ask is when has your judgment failed you and what did you learn from the mistake? kennedy: her answer would be baffling. >> what is her greatest weakness? and people say i'm a perfectionist. >> when did you mess up?
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what did you learn and what did you learn from your experience in the campaign. kennedy: don't miss fbn's live coverage starting with "lou dobbs tonight" at 7:00 p.m. followed by "cavuto: coast-to-coast." the party panel returns later. we're going to talk about third-party candidates and nabbing a voting bloc, hillary clinton is scrambling to get back and failing. millennials. what she's doing wrong what gary johnson and jill stein are doing right? and wells fargo made phony bank accounts to cook the books and steal from customers like you. i'll ask jonathan hoenig if we should split up the mega banks and come up with something
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. kennedy: no, this is red meat for starving lions. the ceo of one of the largest banks in america went to capitol hill to explain why his bank secretly stole from customers like you. >> i am deeply sorry that we failed to fulfill on our responsibility to our customers. i want to make very clear that we never directed nor wanted our team members to provide products and services to customers that they did not want. kennedy: except for the part where we really, really did. basically bank employees signed customers up to unwanted accounts and charged fees. wells fargo reports it has fired 5 1/2 thousand employees because of the scandal, you recall in 2008, we gave the clowns $25 billion in federal aid, bad idea. perhaps libertarians were right, the bailouts are wrong! here with reaction is jonathan
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hoenig, founding member of the capitalist pig hedge fund. he's a fox news contributor. welcome back. >> thank you. kennedy: that is a rather subdued jacket you're wearing, i want to express my disappointment. >> i want to tone it down, bankers and financiers of outrageous bigtime spenders. this is like christmas for elizabeth warren today. the senator's favorite day, they got to act so sanctimonious and tough and come down hard among the evil bankers. kennedy: that is exactly what they were waiting for, the easy pile-on. i want you to play contrarian for just a moment, this is a very easy enemy to go after. what they did was completely wrong, but you say this may perhaps have to do more with overregulation. >> first of all, they would like to you think that banks of the unregulated entities
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running wild ripping people off. probably the most highly regulated industry in america. the ftc, the occ, the federal reserve, so these are tremendously regulated institutions. the regulation not only makes malfeasance more difficult to detect but harder for banks to compete and innovate. this is a $5 million fraud, it's a lot of money and not making excuses but if senator warren wants to go after something, what about the 200 billion dollars in medicare, medicaid fraud year after year. they are punching bags for elected officials. >> you can't go after real fraud, that would be too efficient for a senator who is much happier letting the blood drop off her incisors after she goes after touch s off an easy target like this. you point out that wells fargo, while they were screwing around with people and the woman in
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charge of the area of their bank, she's going to walk away with $124 million with a lovely golden parachute, the likes of which i would love to see in my lifetime there. she is. carrie tolstedt with handsome glasses, which i appreciate. you point out that wells fargo has the lowest complaints of any competitors? >> wells fargo by and large has done a great large for shareholders and customers. they only have about nine complaints per billion dollars of assets and the stock has done quite well. private investors will probably suit bank and look for reparations and that's fine. by and large, this is a great american company and the stock only started getting hit once government started getting involved. worth noting. kennedy: last question, you know i despise dodd-frank, how has dodd-frank made the particular situation worse? >> dodd-frank and
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sarbanes/oxley, any time any crisis comes up, they use it as an excuse to not only further regulate an industry that needs freedom more than anything else. we're losing out to financial centers because of the financial regulation. get rid of them and you'll not only see the malfeasance go down but you will see america continue to prosper. kennedy: jonathan hoenig, thank you so much. >> thanks, kennedy. amen. kennedy: coming up, jill stein may have surpassed donald trump in nasty things to say about hillary clinton. it's true. we'll tell you about the take no prisoners approach, it will work? and later in "topical storm," find out the highly advanced technological tools that russian hackers used to break into hillary clinton's phone.
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it's a very specific moment, the launch window. we have to be very precise. if we're not ready when the planets are perfectly aligned, that's it. we need really tight temperature controls. engineering, aerodynamics- a split second too long could mean scrapping it all and starting over. propulsion, structural analysis- maple bourbon caramel. that's what we're working on right now. from design through production, siemens technology helps manufacturers meet critical deadlines. i think this'll be our biggest flavor yet. when you only have one shot, you need a whole lot of ingenuity.
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. kennedy: "topical storm" coming up later because there is so much delicious political intrigue to discuss in this crazy election season.
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first up, it appears hillary clinton is having a major problem reaching millennial voters. a new "fox news poll" shows clinton has 37% of the under 35 crowd, that's down two points from a couple weeks ago where. are the millennials going? you guessed it, third-party candidates. party panel is back, nomiki konst, katherine mangu-ward and glenn hall. i will start with you. >> oh. kennedy: you don't like hillary clinton and you're a millennial. what's going on? >> crazy! i'm still a democrat, though. this is informative, as a democrat who worked in the democratic party, i have grand loyalty to the democratic party. i don't like hillary but i want democrats to win the senate and i understand the value of having a democrat in office. most millennials are not going to show up when hillary says there is katy perry, there's bernie sanders, there is lena dunham, go follow them. she has to make policy changes.
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kennedy: they are the odell beckham jr. here. i'd like to you recite this poem that you pointed out earlier, and like the election. >> this is inspired by jill stein comments choosing between the two candidates is like choosing between strangulation or gunshot. dorothy parker's immortal words. acids stain you and drugs cause cramp. guns aren't lawful, might as well live. kennedy: see? >> all the options are bad. kennedy: what do you do? what is the option here katherine? >> the option here is to not vote. kennedy: whoa! >> i know makes people upset and anxious, millennials are open to the option and will be exercising it. kennedy: you think? what about african-american and hispanic voters. >> we saw the same thing last week, millennials, younger voters as well as non-white voters saying in higher numbers
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they probably won't vote. kennedy: they are bored and depressed and apathetic. >> that's also -- it is a reasonable response to being given bad choices, and people have the idea if you don't vote you are unpatriotic or not exercising your choice, that's not right. complaining about the candidates. kennedy: there is no reason not to vote for a third party. i don't buy the notion if you vote for someone other than hillary or donald, somehow you're throwing your vote away or throwing your vote to hillary clinton, such utter garbage. but like checking movie times on a friday night, and if there's a series of crappy movies that you don't want to go see, you don't get on movie, you don't spend the money, do you? >> stay home in your jammies. kennedy: netflix, this is the netflix election. >> so millennial too. kennedy: glenn, what do you
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have to say about the netflix election? >> netflix election. kennedy: are you a cord cutter? are you going to sit in the theater because you want popcorn. >> i guess i won't vote. i would love to see third parties have more clout and break free from the tyranny of the two-party system. kennedy: is that just lip service? do you mean that glenn hall? >> i think democracy should be open to a broader opportunity for people who are not fascinated by one or the other candidate. i'm not saying i advocate any of the candidates, people should be able to vote their conscience. kennedy: all right, very good, ted cruz. you have been a delight. thank you for making the show warm and lovely, luscious, like popcorn. buttery. >> buttery. kennedy: and a little salty, how i like it. coming up, if you find yourself in a terrorist attack, what should you do? i'm going to talk to a former cia officer about how to stay alive. stay with me. with this level of engineering...
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. kennedy: hello there. this may be the best part of the show, if you want to save your life. if you're walking down the street and a bomb goes off nearby or a psycho has a knife, what should you do to escape or fight back? some of the strategies are counterintuitive but honestly could save your life. joining me is former cia officer jason hansen, he teaches tactics he learned at the agency. it's much easier to travel with because it's lighter. brighter, tighter and will make you a fighter. jason, welcome back. >> thank you. kennedy: let's talk about some of the stuff, these are scary times, as people watch some of the video of a dumpster exploding, what are people to know how to survive some sort of a bombing? let's start with that.
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>> everything is case-by-case, but a lot of the times if something goes off you want to go in the opposite direction of everybody else. 95% of people go that way, it could be going towards the main exit, that could be a secondary device. don't follow the crowd. don't be the lemon. kennedy: always find two exits. you should do that any time you walk into a building whether it's a shopping mall or restaurant. >> correct, if it's not a bomb, it's a guy with a knife or gun, you have a second exit to get out of. kennedy: let's talk about a knife attack, we saw the mall stabbing in minnesota. it can be difficult when someone is menacing a large group of people. what should do you if there's an attacker going after people with a knife? >> the benefit of a knife is they can't shoot bullets, not going to get shot in the back but you don't want to sit there and freeze which is unfortunately what people do, you want to rush them and take them down. israelis use the swarm tactic, bombard the guys, kick him in
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the groin, punch him in the throat. kennedy: which is what people do on a plane nowadays. >> do it in the shopping mall or somewhere else. don't give him a chance to swing the knife. kennedy: you can take a jacket and throw it over him, you can immobilize him. >> i can throw my wallet at you, take off my jacket, smash your hands to keep the knife away from he. the beauty of the knife is i can sit there with a chair and fight you off because it's not going to shoot bullets at me. kennedy: a gun is the same thing, and if there is an active shooter, people have to be prepared for a couple things. people are more likely to be wearing body armor and a shooter, you have to conceive they could bench press 350 pounds. >> which is why if he's tank, you can't lift weights and improve your eyes.
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if i gouge you in the eyes, go for the vulnerable areas. a 10-year-old kid can gouge out your eyes, can kick you in the throat. that's why you need to go to the soft areas which body armor and muscles can't protect. kennedy: if you gouge them in the eyes, they're going to look at their hands and drop whatever they have? >> you're going to bend down and naturally protect your eye, you're not holding the gun or knife and i can take you down quicker. kennedy: i would like to think i can take. >> you let's find out. kennedy: do you have your fake knife on you? >> no, but i have my tactical pen. kennedy: i have a basket of sharpies, and they are deplorable. one of the things you can employ is situational awareness. what is that, and people guilty of not utilizing naturally? >> put simply, keep the head up, i own a flip phone, i've never sent a text message. everybody is texting, they have no idea what's going on.
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if you have your head up, you see the danger ahead of time. i can call the police and prevent a future attack. if you're walking and your head's down, you walk across the road, hit by a bus and not see the target and can you walk right into it and not have a chance to escape. kennedy: what if it's a homeless guy throwing away. >> you never know, call 911. kennedy: every single time? if you see a homeless guy throwing something away, call 911? >> common sense tells you this does not look right in my neighborhood. i need to call the police. kennedy: i agree with that. texting and walking, i'm 100% guilty of it, is dangerous, because it does take your head out of your surroundings. >> they can follow you out of the parking lot because you're not doing anything. it's a heyday for criminals, criminals love texting. kennedy: we don't want the heyday for criminals, we want freedom in all its forms. these are very good techniques you have throughout your book.
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spy secrets that can save your life. >> i don't have to use this. kennedy: that would be bad for the entire "kennedy" industry. coming up, you are ready for robots to take over all your jobs? yeah! how r off that reelt is as well as whet my business was built with passion... but i keep it growing by making every dollar count. that's why i have the spark cash card from capital one. with it, i earn unlimited 2% cash back on all of my purchasing. and that unlimited 2% cash back from spark means thousands of dollars each year going back into my business... which adds fuel to my bottom line. what's in your wallet?
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thwow, it's nice.ew 2016 chevy malibu. let's check it out. do any of you have kids? i do yes. this car has a feature built in called teen driver technology, which lets parent's see how their teens are driving. oh, that's smart. it even mutes the radio until the seat belt is fastened. will it keep track of how many boys get it in the car? (laughter) cause that could be useful. this is ahead of what my audi has for sure. wish my beamer had that. i didn't even know that technology existed. i'm not in the market for a car but now i may be.
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. kennedy: the robot uprising is fast approaching. market research company forrester recently predicted by the year 2021, 6% of all u.s. jobs would be done by robots that would obviously affect millions of people and here to determine just how likely we are to see a robo president in the next five years is the oret
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physics at the city college of new york. welcome back. >> glad to be on the show. kennedy: people are scared about being replaced by robots. you say there are some areas which will be taken over by them, what are those areas? >> we've been brainwashed by hollywood that robots are going to put us in cages and throw peanuts at us. people that have to worry are people involved with repetitive jobs, factory workers, garment workers, that's what robots are, they're adding machines. they add very, very fast. so first, repetitive workers. seconds in the next 10, 20 years, middle men workers, people involved in brokerage, agents, accounting, tellers, the middle men jobs, the so-called friction of capitalism, those jobs are going to be threatened and the jobs that are least threatened are those jobs that involve pattern recognition, eye sight,
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for example, gardners, construction workers, policemen, they're not repetitive, it requires eye sight and pattern recognition. kennedy: anything that uses human biology is probably safe. >> plus innovation, creativity, analysis, leadership, intellectual workers are the most impervious because robots are good at commodity capital not intellectual capital. kennedy: rich people with fancy pants jobs are on good pace and people on the chopping block have low paying jobs. >> unless they have repetitive work. every construction site is different, gardens, every garden is different. repetitive workers could get wiped out. kennedy: if you're on an assembly line, good luck to you, or you figure something out and have a ton of leisure time. if robots fail to wipe us out,
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there's a chance for apocalyptic doom. chinese astronomers spotted a large asteroid hurtling towards earth, it could come within a few miles of our blue marble. if the trajectory changes it could hit us with the equivalent of three billion atomic bombs. how long do we have to live? >> where is bruce willis when we need him the most? we need him to blow that thing up with atomic bomb. planet bombers like what hit the dinosaurs 65 million years ago, they happen at the rate of 51 million years the planet buster. kennedy: that was 65 million years ago. are we due? >> the dinosaurs didn't have a space program, right? that's why the dinosaurs don't exist today. now a nation buster happens every few thousand years that could wipe out germany or england, and there is a nation
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buster up there called a pufus. kennedy: if there is one nation that absorbs the asteroid? which is it? >> i am thinking in the pacific ocean, maybe atlantis, and the city busters hit at the rate of every hundred years, one hit russia, one a few years ago and one about a century ago, every hundred years we have a city buster. this asteroid, we don't know how big it is. there is debate how big it is. but there are planet busters out there. in fact, there are thousands of them. in fact going down to the size of a football field, we think there are millions of them that haven't been cataloged yet. kennedy: should we be more worried about a planet buster asteroid taking us all out or a.i. and being absorbed into a matrix by a computer that's smarter than we are? >> i think we've seen too many movies, even the matrix, to simulate the game of go for
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example, would require using every single atom of the universe. it would take a universe to model all the possible games of go. to model the weather would require again, a computer the size of the universe. we think that the smallest computer that can model the weather is the weather itself. kennedy: that's heavy, man. doctor, thank you very much for your insight as always. >> my pleasure. kennedy: no matter how absurd the question, you always answer with the fiercest intelligence i've known. thanks again. >> uh-huh. kennedy: coming up, the t-rex battle because of a parking space? or perhaps rehears what is success? is it a professor who never stops being a student? is it a caregiver determined to take care of her own? or is it a lifetime of work that blazes the path to your passions?
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your personal success takes a financial partner who values it as much as you do. learn more at tiaa.org
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. kennedy: come rain or shine, the gales of september will never keep us from weird videos and absurd news tucked safely at the back of the show and well rested if your pleasure. this is "topical storm."
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topic number one -- with worldwide drought and almost certainty over the next five years, thanks a lot, al gore! people are going to have to find other ways of swimming without water. luckily a few enterprising young people took the future into their own hands as they discovered waterless swimming. a future olympic sport. [laughter] . kennedy: it's not as easy as it looks, clearly. it looks darn difficult. oh, and they win by four body lengths. my favorite part, of course, is the girl shooting it. she's hyperventilating with laughter! she's really entertained or using her feminine wheezes to
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get a homecoming date from one of the dry bros. this one comes to us from path toful "topical storm" viewer thomas mclaughlin who used "topical storm" on twitter, well done, and thank you. austin koon, he loves caffeine almost as much as he loves unmanned aircraft. guess what he did? he attached a cardboard koozy also known as a sleeve in starbucks to his droney maloney and letter rip to the bucker oos, he attempted to pick up his frothy beverage. people will see this. it's going down, and there's the nice barista. she's putting it in the koozy, that sounds filthy. that means the cardboard sleeve. calm down, no need to send letters to our producer, bernie maxsmith is flying up. flying into the welcoming hands
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of the droner. he calls it a drone throw. exactly. and they were reunited and takes it. there are some people who will see this and when they get the jitters for a bump, they're going to try to do the same thing to pick up their bathtub mess and i don't know if the methamphetamine baristas will be as friendly to serve up skippies as 2:00 in the morning. if you can use a drone and a meth app, wouldn't be that great for your phone, it might revolutionize unmanned drug transactions. wow, the fewer. topic number three -- speaking of the future, apple announced the new iphone will feature wireless headphones, many users are preemptively concerned about using or breaking the free-range parenting knobs. they provided the internet with a quick and easy hack. >> i found a perfect solution to this problem, it's a very simple tutorial, follow along,
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i don't have to talk here. and just like that, you have your brand new fully built 3.5 million meter headphone jack. kennedy: there's the jack! it doesn't work! it looks great. the video seems legit. we do not recommend doing that to your iphone. you might not be skilled enough! the wireless headphones are known as airpods or airbuds. i can't remember which one. speaking of which, let's take a look at airbuds in action. >> and now! >> and they snapped the dog's spine, he was a good pet while he was around. topic number four -- if you've never been to burning man, it's basically a group acid trip with tents and guys who wear shirts and nothing else, boy, do they have fun, there's a name for the guys who wear shirts and nothing else and i can't say it on tv.
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good creative fun, let's cut to burning man to see whimsical music jams the desert flowers got up to. ♪. kennedy: are those dinosaurs with nunchakus? that is crazy. the video surfaced online, did i mention people in the desert dabble in hallucinogens at the burning man? here's the thing. this year people ate peyote buttons so potent, you are high right now. how high? those weren't even t-rexes you thought you saw. this is the actual video we played. i know just drink orange juice and listen to dark side of the moon and you'll be just fine. all right now. topic number five --
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if you like beaches and horse racing, you need to head to ireland, obviously. where equine enthusiasts racehorses every year on the beach. yeah, it's true. do you feel a little woozy from that peyote we had at burning man. i know i feel woozy. that's okay. because i'm sure i'm going to be fine. let's check out that horse race. uh-oh, the peyote is turning the horses into weinerer dogs. that's not good! the dogs are herding sheep using monkeys! oh! they're back to horses, thank god! wait, is that a shed? why is there a shed in the race? you guys! never watch burning man footage again while we're high on someone else's peyote buttons. you can follow me on twitter and insgran --
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instagram -- and tomorrow on the show, judge andrew nolitano, ambassador john bolton and tom shillue, threennnnnnnnnnncer: the followa paid presentation for luminess air. take a look at this blemish. now you see it. now you don't. >> it is amazing. >> announcer: do you see this age spot? don't blink. it's gone like magic. >> luminess is stupendous. >> announcer: watch this redness disappear at the touch of a button. >> people have said to me, "you look amazing. what have you done?" >> people ask me if i've had a face-lift. >> people asked if i got botox. >> announcer: these women all switched to a new foundation. >> people come up to me and say, "your skin is beautiful." >> announcer: it's not a skin-care lotion or potion. it's not even plastic surgery. >> i will have people say, "what are you doing? you look younger."

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