allow you to do so? i mean, it really isn't that hard. but the left has manipulated this issue for political purposes to the point where it's getting really crazy. tell me what you i'll see you tomorrow night. kennedy: and now the best hour of your day begins. a potential major victory for president trump on immigration, and it could stop that controversial latin american caravan right in its tracks. fox news reporting less than two hours ago the white house came to an agreement with mexico how to deal with thousands of migrants heading north to the u.s. the largest caravan reportedly made up of 4,000 people currently in guatemala. many claim to be refugees but the president claims the group was infiltrated by criminals. according to the deal, mexico is going to stop the migrants at southern border. the united nations will be there and they're going to be

sent to determine who really is a refugee and who is not? and if they have a legitimate claim, the u.n. will find them a host country that may or may not be the u.s. if they do not, if they are refugees, they will be sent home. the biggest development concerns migrants who somehow get around the new rules and make it into the u.s. because according to the deal, those people will no longer be held indefinitely in crowded u.s. detention centers waiting for a judge to hear their case. instead, they're going to be sent to mexico and the mexican government will determine what to do with them then. this all comes after the president shot off a furious round of tweeting this morning reading in part --

so how far does it go to fix our nation's broken immigration system in joining me florida congressman and a member of the judiciary committee and house freedom caucus, it's matt gaetz, welcome back to the show. >> good to be with you on a new time. kennedy: little bit later and little bit greater. the president has been busy on twitter, and have you as well, you got a lot of pushback on the tweet claiming that george soros was paying hondurans to get on the caravan. >> i didn't make the claim, judicial watch and other organizations have seen a fusion between the george soros-based left-leaning political groups and the ngo's

and specifically the balkans there is strong evidence of the fusion. president trump got a whiff of it, you have a mass migration of people that makes it difficult to ascertain who is legitimate, who is illegitimate, who is dangerous and who may be safe? and i think that this is a real strengthening moment for the security of the region, and definitely a good demonstration of the president's negotiating skills. kennedy: very interesting because a lot of people were worried how the nafta changes would affect our relationship with mexico, mexico was obviously the first to sign on before everyone pressured canada, and to joining the mean girls club. now here we are and i have to ask you, is the u.n. better equipped to deal with refugees than the u.s. government? >> no, but it's a question of geography, and there's a chokepoint lower into central america where we can ensure we've got a more rapid and efficient determination regarding refugee status and

asylum status. look, if we have triage system before the people hit the u.s. border, it's a win, because we'll be able to accurately determine their claims and return them to home country, and like you mentioned in your introduction, we don't want to be in a situation where we have a large population of people from central and south america and we can't get them home. we have to support governments like the government in honduras trying to have secure borders and work with mexico and guatemala to ensure we get a faster determination early in the process, all the safer for u.s. neighborhoods. kennedy: well, it is an interesting process, and we'll see what happens with some of these refugees, and where they are placed, and if some on the left raise fewer red flags and warning cries over how these people are detained, because i can't imagine it's going to be that much different, and you know, as someone in congress, you have to breathe a sigh of

relief. to be completely honest, you and a lot of your colleagues have not been good stewards of our immigration policy in this country. >> no, our immigration system is a complete mess. we don't prioritize the people we need. we're trying to do social engineering through immigration and all the criticisms are well founded and need bipartisan solutions eventually, but you are correct to highlight this -- the recent negotiation by the trump administration and mexico make all of our other problems easier to solve because if you can stop these migrants in guatemala or southern mexico and have a determination, returning them to the home country or potentially grant asylum in mexico rather than the united states, you're right, the detention centers are less crowded, the court clogged to make a legal determinations becomes easier to solve and hopefully have humane treatment that also underscores the rule of law and the need for strong nations to have strong borders. >> when the u.s. economy is doing well, obviously immigration increases because people want to come here by and

large to work and make money, and you know, presumably take care of their families. there are a lot of businesses and agriculture certainly longing for seasonal employees. so how can you change the immigration policy to meet those demands with a tightening labor market? >> by having a guest worker program that requires people to follow the rules, come to the country and return home when that seasonal employment opportunity no longer exists. we actually passed a guest worker program out of the house judiciary committee that was linked to the strongest border enforcement. that was linked to e-verify, that stopped sanctuary cities, and i think that that's the type of approach we need. unfortunately, we were not able to get enough moderate republicans and democrats to join us to get that bill over to the united states senate, but absolutely we need a guest worker program, but can't just accept lawlessness, kennedy. the left would say because we need cheap labor, we need to

raise the white flag in total submission to a lawless system, and that's not safe? it's also not beneficial to our economy. kennedy: let's talk a little bit and shift gears and talk about rod rosenstein. one of your colleagues, mark meadows, he is furious at rosenstein because he has been thwarting you guys, and you have been reaching out to him trying to get him to appear before two committees in the hours, and he feels pretty emboldens right now and does not want to perjure himself and certainly does not want to testify under oath. what is meadows prepared to do? >> this is unacceptable, the current plan, kennedy is have rosenstein meet informly with the committee chairman and ranking members with no transcript, no testimony under oath. my goodness, the former general counsel to the fbi told us he believed the current deputy attorney general rod rosenstein was serious about wearing a wire on the president to remove him from office. and we have not held a single

hearing or asked rod rosenstein under oath about this. it is low energy oversight, a dereliction of duty by the congress, and mark meadows and jim jordan and i are going to do everything we can with colleagues to bring transparency to this. kennedy: why did you leave the house freedom caucus? >> what's that. kennedy: why did you leave the house freedom caucus? >> i was never a member. i would never lower my stand standards to the group that didn't invite me. kennedy: i don't mind that you bastardized it. stay off twitter unless it's to promote your appearance on the show. >> stop, kennedy. people love me on twitter. kennedy: they do. they really do! you have big fans. choice words. some fans, some trolls, it takes all types to have great discourse in this country. kennedy: it does, and howard dean called me an idiot tonight. >> i'm sure you will cry yourself to sleep. you should get the warm bath

and the sharp blade out. kennedy: i need the bathtub with the little door and crawl inside and fill it with my own tears. congressman gaetz, thank you very much. >> thank you, kennedy. kennedy: the president will not be mobilizing the military but could help mobilize the voters. the "fox news poll" released shows that immigration is the fourth largest issue behind health care, the economy and the president himself. although, the migrant caravan may soon be stopped. several hot button immigration issues remain in play like the border wall, sanctuary cities and abolishing i.c.e. the president's tough stance on immigration helped boost him bigley at the polls, but will it help fellow republicans win bigger next month? joining me now american majority ceo and former writer for president george w. bush ned ryun, along with richard fowler, he is richard fowler, thank you, gentlemen. >> thanks for having me. kennedy: let's talk about this, i think this is a really

interesting development. we've had such a stalemate on immigration, particularly on the southern border in this country. ned, is this a big win for the president, and is bringing the u.n. in a way to neutralize the animosity while fueling the base? >> first of all, it is a win, i think because trump was willing to go i'm going to send troops, i'm going send serious border enforcement to make sure they don't enter this country. i think he fundamentally understands our self-governing constitution based on sovereignty and you can't have sovereignty without a physical border. it's a big win. i'm a bit ambivalent of the u.n., i think it will mitigate the processing of the refugees. i don't trust the u.n. but might take pressure off our borders. i will say, this kennedy, it's a huge issue, immigration, fourth in the recent "fox news poll." democrats have been told not to talk about immigration on the campaign trail, i'll tell you

why. the likely voters in the suburban areas in swing districts two, issues that resonate to them. they respond negatively to republicans saying they want to abolish i.c.e. and immigration is a winning issue, it was one of the reasons trump got elected and i'll say this last thing. when the "new york times" end of the summer shows a poll all voters regardless of party affiliation, 51% saying it's time to build the southern wall, you know this issue is starting to resonate. kennedy: i understand what you're saying but i think that both parties kind of have it wrong, and my big issue with democrats, richard, is you know, you bleeding hearts, bless your souls because you have good intentions. a medicare for all policy presumably would cover people streaming in from other countries, and we can't afford that for american citizens, so how on earth can you have open

borders, which i'm not opposed to, and an open entitlement system? >> well, listen, i don't think democrats, at least not me, and others don't believe in open borders, and actually president obama doubled the amount of border control and security at the border. couple things on this particular subject. i think this is a wide move by the president and happy the u.n. is involved because he's seen this white house is inept when it comes to handling things at the border, splitting children and five-year-olds waive their own rights. >> the obama administration did the same thing. >> i didn't interrupt you, ned. herein lies a larger problem, they live in our sphere of influence. the western sphere. kennedy: why are they dangerous? >> there's gang violence. kennedy: why is there gang violence, you are getting warmer. >> because of the failed border of the united states. kennedy: that's exactly right. and these places aren't going to be better until we end the war on drugs, you can't end the war on drugs and deal with the

supply -- >> i agree, but let me -- kennedy: i'm not yelling at you but saying i understand that, but we are giving aid to the countries, and this is the first time to the president's credit he has gotten mexico involved in solving this issue, because mexico has had an open border policy, meaning they open their southern border to direct people to northern border into the united states so they don't have to deal with some of these refugees. >> i agree with you. kennedy: it's a good thing ultimately for the region and for this president. it is an out-of-the box solution that you haven't seen from any other administration. >> i agree with you here. kennedy: you are voting with republicans in the fall? >> no, i'm not. [laughter] >> if we don't deal with these three countries, we will never solve the --. kennedy: what do you mean deal with? >> create reasonable peace in guatamala, honduras and nicaragua that the people trying to come to the united states to breathe our freedom and live our liberties. kennedy: why can't they breathe -- okay, i understand that, but

that doesn't mean that we are a cash cow and we open the spigot for every other country. how come we cannot encourage capitalism in these countries. kennedy: i want ned to respond, hold orichard. >> we are giving honduras $127 million a year in federal aid. kennedy: i need that just in shoes. >> that is not enough. kennedy: creating, it's not creating government anything, richard, you need to get past that mentality. >> this is the mentality that got us here, kennedy. remember. the reason it is stable because of ronald reagan going there. kennedy: hold on, stop talking, a series of bad government policies got us here, we need more government? >> i'm not saying we need more government. i am saying we need stability in the countries so we don't have folks crossing our southern border. >> why don't they step up to

the plate and act law and order in their own countries, richard. really quick, kennedy. we're giving them 127 million in annual aid, 116 billion -- kennedy: investigate our foreign direct investment for a host of countries, and we need to grossly curtail the entitlement state. i know you agree with that. >> totally agree. kennedy: thank you, richard, thank you, both. coming up, president trump playing hardball with the saudis over the missing "washington post" journalist. now details what might have happened, and a new deadline for answers. that's next. plus you won't believe who vladimir putin is blaming for jamal khashoggi's disappearance. all that and more after the

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. kennedy: welcome back. president trump running out of patience with saudi arabia, he told reporters looks like the missing "washington post" journalist is, in fact, dead, and warned of serious consequences if the saudis were involved. watch. >> well, it will have to be very severe. i mean, it's bad, bad stuff,

but we'll see what happens, right? thank you. kennedy: joining me with more on this developing story, kristina partsinevelos, kristina, what other moves did the trump administration make today? >> officially said they're not going to the davos in the desert, there's an investment conference that starts on tuesday october 23rd. you had all the big leaders going, everybody from jpmorgan, jamie dimon, the ceo of uber. media outlets, everybody started pulling out and domino effect to pull out because of what happened. and as well, fox business did pull out today. hut secretary of state who returned back from his trip, mike pompeo to review the situation, he said they need a few days but he insists they aren't going easy on him. listen in. >> they also assured me they will conduct a complete, thorough investigation, of all of the facts surrounding mr. khashoggi and will do so in a timely fashion, and this

report itself will be transparent for everyone to see. >> the reason why the ties are so important is there's a lot of business and a lot of money involved with the united states and saudi arabia. some of those would be think of oil. saudi arabia is the largest exporter of crude oil, we use that oil. once the united states imposes sanctions on iran, what the united states wants is saudi arabia to fill in that gap on november 5th. saudi arabia invests incredible amounts of money in silicon valley. they invested $3.5 billion in uber. that is another example. you can understand why the united states is working so hard and the administration to contain this at the moment. they don't want to ruin those ties. you had last year, jared kushner, the son-in-law of the president, helped broker the arms deal worth $110 billion, u.s. that's a lot of money. we selling u.s. weapons to saudi arabia. right now, that could be on the table if sanctions are put

forward. you had market reaction today. there was a little bit of volume, but it wasn't because of the news of the united states pulling out. it did contribute to tensions with saudi arabia but you had tech stocks selling off. you had the chinese market. kennedy: what about the price of oil? >> the price of oil is -- i didn't check before the closing bell, about 70 something, there is rumors it will climb all the way to $100 should sanctions be imposed on saudi arabia. they give so much -- they don't give, they export so much oil. kennedy: you know who is excited about this? elon musk! >> if you invested in oil, you would be excited. kennedy: yes, absolutely! but people lose their shirts investing in oil. >> and costs companies a lot more, affects markets and gets passed onto you and i. kennedy: you know what that means? way less shopping for the holiday season and that's not good for the economy. we want black friday to be when companies are in the black. >> and i get on cover it. kennedy: wearing black pants. >> maybe not, maybe another

power suit day. kennedy: pantsuit to the people. kristina partsinevelos. >> pants all the way. kennedy: thanks for coming by. good to see you, in the flesh. as the investigation into khashoggi's disappearance intensifies, russian president vladimir putin is placing some of the blame on the united states. how convenient! putin said, quote, as far as i know the journalist who went missing used to live in the usa. he did not live in russia. in this regard, the u.s. has a certain responsibility. it's a bold accusation considering the number of russian journalists and dissidents who mysteriously died over the years, so as khashoggi's disappearance continues to test our diplomatic ties, where do we go from here? joining me cato institute senior fellow and author of islam without extremes, mustafa akyiole, thank you, sir? >> thanks for having me.

kennedy: it's insane that vladimir putin of all people is weighing in. what does that say to you? >> indeed, vladimir putin is probably the last person to talk about this issue. at least ten journalists in russia who criticize putin expose the wrongdoings of his government or cronies have been mysteriously found dead. nobody thinks that's an accident. putin is using this, and also it's wrong to blame the u.s. on what happened on a saudi consulate in turkey. kennedy: yeah. >> we can urge the u.s. >> another country's consulate in another country. >> yes, as leader of the free world, the u.s. should stand up for human rights every. where this person was a u.s. person, writing for the "washington post." if the humanitarian regimes get away with that, more power to the president. kennedy: he was not a resident of the u.s., he was working on

a visa, he applied for a green card, he was being adjudicated for that. do you think secretary of state pompeo is being too trustworthy dealing with the saudis and the turks? >> he is maybe being too trustworthy to the saudis. and turkey part of this drama, that's my country, i know freedom of press. kennedy: your people are lovely, erdogan is not. he is an authoritarian heavy-handed. >> he is an authoritarian populist, and freedom of the press in turkey is not great as well. this is too wild in turkey, killing a journalist, dismembering him and burying him. this is too much even for turkey, and on this much, turkey is on the right side, khashoggi had friends in turkey and the government and so forth. turks have released enough evidence. kennedy: have they released it? do you think pompeo has seen or heard that video and audio?

>> i don't know that. there's that mysterious audiotape the turks are talking about. they should release that. kennedy: we're taking them at their word, and i don't know they are necessarily trustworthy. >> there are videotapes showing that's how he disappeared. kennedy: the whole thing is weird, i don't give anyone the benefit of the doubt. they don't deserve my due process. sorry. >> that's fine. kennedy: thanks for coming, i appreciate you being here. >> pleasure being here. kennedy: very good. whether she's offering bad advice advice on the -- on the #metoo movement, liberals are begging her to go away. stick around. my monologue is next. geico has over 75 years of great savings and service. with such a long history, it's easy to trust geico! thank you todd. it's not just easy. it's-being-a-master-of-hypnotism easy.

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. kennedy: the democrats have a crowded field for 2020, and although there might be up to

three dozen choices in early plump primaries, the once solidly left media is turning up its nose at curdled hillary. the "new york times" editorial board member named michelle cottle said hillary's missteps are a huge distraction before the midterms. she makes the case hrc's one-two punch of destroying civility and saying monica lewinsky was basically asking for it because she was an adult had been a gift to frothing republicans to tie this evil to donkey necks, every time a potential 2020 go getter like joe biden flirts with another run, hillary pops out of the woodwork to scare sense back into democrats. though elizabeth warren shot herself in the foot with an arrow this week, hillary is still holding the party hostage and her ego won't allow any other seasoned septuagenarian

to take her rightful crown. if you think the republican debate stayed cozy in 2016, wait until you see what 2020 has in store as they dust off michael bloomberg, bernie sanders, kamala harris, cory booker, gavin newsom, michael avenatti, that's the short list! it is a shallow bench, that's not going to keep the mediocre souls from looking around and declaring themselves the tallest dwarf. for as many clowns as there are in the circus, it's a party without a leader and a message. if anyone is going to feast on the chaos, it's the guy who won the job by turning the white house into a big top. hillary, won't even get the nomination this time around but it will be fun to see her fall off the high wire, oh, buddy, that's the memo. ♪

. kennedy: you know what happened? hillary and bill are set to go on a tour after the midterms, called an evening with the clintons. several people won't make it out of the theater. but would it be better for the left if the clintons ducked out of the spotlight for the next few years, or maybe forever? the panel is here to discuss, from where he serves as editor in chief, lawrence jones along with attorney and democratic strategist danielle mclaughlin and comedian and the head writer for the greatest show in all of cable news, jimmy fallia. all they need is a good anchor. [laughter] >> you should read my diary out loud again. talk about hillary clinton, the daily beast and the "new york times" publishing these

articles, please don't go away mad, just go away. >> the problem is the democrats as you said in the monologue, they don't have leadership, and i tell you why. they invested in barack obama, barack obama was the leader, and he took over the dnc, all his people went in there and took over the apparatus for the dnc, and when they left, they left everything a big mess. the democratic party is trying to reinvent themselves. the problem is the socialist wing of the party has taken over. kennedy: yeah, they're the best organized. >> right, i don't see them recover anything time soon. they need a trump-like figure, and i don't see that. kennedy: it's really interesting because president obama released a list of candidates he was endorsing, but a lot of people say it's nice when presidents go away and paint in a shed. i'm one of those people, if president obama were serious about getting other people elected, he would have the big rallies that the politicos just gobble up. people love to see it. >> i think he's trying to walk a fine line between getting too

involved and criticized for, it backing the people he thinks can win. i'm not sure we can expect at this point. kennedy: i don't think he's leader of the party. >> who is the leader of the democratic party? during the obama administration, i think it's an unfair question. >> he was! >> it was president obama. we had mitch mcconnell, it was a figure head when the republicans were out of power and asking too much at this point. trump didn't emerge until well into the primary. so i'm not sure it's a fair question, we obviously have pelosi. kennedy: it was a much closer race between president obama and senator john mccain than it was between hillary and barack obama. she won the popular vote. >> right. kennedy: she should be the de facto leader of the democratic party, they don't like her and want her to leave. have you people actively telling here bye-bye. >> i'm not going to disagree with the notion we have a progressive person. kennedy: she's not the leader and he's not the leader, who

is? >> i don't think there is one, that's okay. i think we have a deep bench. this is like the red sox. kennedy: no, i think there are a lot of them, they're intellectually shallow. jim, bring it home. >> i think bernie sanders should pass the torch to someone younger like moses. [ laughter ] >> or yoda! >> a democrat would be nice. they say the bench is so old, it is a deep bench, when they need new blood, they actually need new blood. they need transfusions. these people are old. it's scary. they're 100, it's not good! . that's the best -- millard fillmore sat on this bench. he came back, it's bananas. the leader of the party is like actually twitter is the leader of the party because they keep gravitating to whatever is trending, we'll abolish i.c.e. kennedy: is avocado toast in

the lead? >> there is nothing wrong with avocado toast. kennedy: only a second for the hollywood outrage machine back in action, kristen bell who plays ana in "frozen," she's asking her daughters, don't you think it's weird the prince kisses snow white without her permission, you cannot kiss them when they're sleeping. in other words, no consent, she said she won't let her daughter watch cinderella or little mermaid because the movie lacks her values. blah, blah, blah. the amazing thing about snow white, the prince isn't kissing snow white because he's trying to butter her goodies, he thinks she's dead, he's saying good-bye. this is sad. >> this is what happens when cartoons are social justice warriors. you guys ruin all the fun! why can't kids just watch. this shows you they really

don't like men. >> oh! >> they do not like men. they don't -- >> they let ben affleck be batman! something is wrong. >> it's messed up. why? >> the mother of a three-year-old girl, another one on the way. that's why i'm wearing stretchy clothing. watching the old cartoons, snow white is 1912, there is a lot of old stuff in the shows, not the way that we live. and i'm not teaching my daughter to be risque. i'm just not. >> the message in snow white, she was poisoned by a jealous witch. the message is don't trust women. get that out of the way first and foremost. and to the whole little mermaid thing. keira knightley was like she gave up her voice to be with a man. that was the happiest marriage ever. >> my husband is watching. >> she was enthusiastic at nodding. >> yes, yes, loved her. they have the greatest holidays

ever. kennedy: you can say a lot without saying anything. >> by the way, i feel bad for her kids, they can't land a play date because nobody wants to go to kristen bell's house, you're really playing with barbie? she's with ken, the patriarch? kennedy: look at ken. >> the human ken is better looking now. he comes on the show. kennedy: it's the best. what a delightful panel, this is really -- i feel like i should unwrap this under my christmas tree. >> we'll be there. kennedy: thank you very much. jimmy and danielle and lawrence. beautifully done. coming up, how do you achieve success without getting a real job? fact is, every insurance company hopes you drive safely. but allstate helps you. with drivewise. feedback that helps you drive safer. and that can lower your cost now that you know the truth...

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kennedy: that's right, nothing comes for free, but sometimes you just get lucky. just ask johnny bananas. he made his bones on mtv shows like the real world and the challenge. now he stars on first look at arizona nbc right after "saturday night live" and here's a peek. >> professional animal handler. i'm a professional banana handler. porcupines, tortoises? i don't know what's coming out. >> i don't either, but i got it. kennedy: that's so cute. i spoke with johnny bananas earlier and asked him about the secret to his success. watch. >> sticking with it. i think a lot of other people on the challenge, i haven't done anything necessarily different than any other people except be way more amazing but i stuck with it. a lot of people have taken time off. started families. pursued careers, and -- kennedy: pj and the ms. >> no, they've done what i am in the process of doing, which

is -- kennedy: transcendent. >> transcending, i'm talking about other cast members, i'm doing what i've done and i don't want to be like people where they are like that is my job. kennedy: the best thing about being a millennial is looking for a job like that. >> and just when i thought i had the perfect job, first look came along and totally blew my mind. kennedy: this is an incredible travel show. not only are you dabbling as a cannabis sommelier, that is aspirational, but you went to the oswell ufo festival and hung out with experiencers. these are people who have been abducted? >> that's like the pc way of saying abductees. first look is broken up essentially into two parts. it's travel and the experiential segments. i've been to france, montreal. kennedy: like canada's version

of france. >> exactly. or it's like europe's version of canada. kennedy: yeah, if you go to las vegas and stay at paris, you don't have to go to paris. >> bellagio is right across the street. exactly. but you have the travel segments and the experiential segment, i'm a cannabis sommelier, wrestling a 600 pound man. kennedy: was that erotic? >> a little bit. two sweaty men in diapers rolling around together. kennedy: which is a regular tuesday for you. >> weekend. tuesdays are different. kennedy: is success the greatest revenge? >> yeah, there's a lot of naysayers and people that doubted me and people haven't wanted to see me succeed, and i mean, look at me now, and i've always said this, i've never met a hater who's doing better than me. kennedy: but when you go into meetings with executives, do you charm them? do you acquiesce to their demands, or are you a demanding

hot head? >> not a demanding hot head. you get more flies with honey than vinegar. kennedy: speak for yourself. >> but, no, i think you got to strike a balance. you know what i mean? there is charm there, but at the same time, you do, you have to play ball. kennedy: here's the typical interview question. what will you be doing in five years? >> same thing i'm doing right now, hopefully. kennedy: wearing pajama bottoms and talking to one of your idols. >> i was going to wear my rainbow pumps but i didn't want to get awkward looks. kennedy: if it weren't for awkward looks, i wouldn't get looks, johnny. >> first watch, i had to learn how to walk in heels. kennedy: wow! >> one of the workout segments, i learned how to stripper pole dance in las vegas and dressed in drag, and stripped at a burlesque show.

so i've gotten really good. kennedy: so much in common. >> we really do. next thing i'm going to put kool-aid in my hair. kennedy: if you're not going to drink, it soak in it. johnny bananas. >> kennedy, honor and pleasure, and thank you so much. kennedy: and thank you, the "topical storm" is next. "topical storm" is next. stay here. hi, kids! i'm carl and i'm a broker. do you offer $4.95 online equity trades? great question. see, for a full service brokerage like ours, that's tough to do. schwab does it. next question. do you offer a satisfaction guarantee? a what now? a satisfaction guarantee. like schwab does. man: (scoffing) what are you teaching these kids? ask your broker if they offer award-winning full service and low costs, backed by a satisfaction guarantee. if you don't like their answer,

ask again at schwab.

. kennedy: some crazy news from the world of showbiz. kendall jenner's security team chased away a stalker who broke into her house, trashed her library and jumped into her pool. a wild story but i think the real story here is kendall jenner has a library! read between the lines because this is the "topical storm." topic number one -- we begin tonight in blue ash, ohio where two males got into a street fight that's going to cost them some dough. it's mating season! yeah! and police say these two are fighting over a female they matched with on tinder! i'm kidding. it was farmers only. duh. only one of them was dating her until she wrote him a dear john letter. it gets worse. these two better knock it off before one of them gets their eyes poked out, and then they'd

be a no idea are. i wanted to tell a few jokes about bambi, but most folks think bambi is one of stormy daniels' co-workers. michael avenatti is going tap her for campaign contributions. nebraska having a hard time attracting tourists. the cornhusker state is beautiful this time of year. the tourism board thinks folks might disagree with me. check out their new slogan. this is amazing. nebraska, honestly, it's not for everyone. that's not from the enia, that is real. that's the new slogan, it's funny and ironic ithat was hillary's slogan before they switched to i'm with her. hold onto your hot sauce. this has us thinking of other states such as welcome to new

jersey. sorry. florida, the bath salt state. utah, byob! and welcome to colorado, the munchy state. bring your own brownies. we're working on a welcome sign for washington, d.c., but it went way over budget. topic number three -- halloween is almost here and many houses are putting teal pumpkins on porch to notify kids with food allergies that they're giving away plastic toys instead of candy. it's a win-win, the allergic kids know the house with the toys and the non-allergic know what houses to egg. the canadians legalized weed, they're switching to smashing pumpkin's project, where you put a dude in a flannel out front and he rambles how today is the greatest day i've ever known, ay? entertaining stuff, kids, don't

accept a jolly rancher from that guy. speaking of according to market watch survey, pumpkins are the number one pet costume for pets this year. the number one human costume is native americans. this costume is known as chief spreading bull. topic number four -- there it is. viewers have spoken, but their speech was a little slurred because it's thirsty thursday, allow me to translate. this is your mail. ernest borgnine kicks it off with number one reason not to watch is you are rude and not honest. actually, ernestene, i'm rude and honest, and yes, you do look fat in those white pants. adam says my wish would be to hang out with and you play music all night long. me too, adam, except for the

hanging out with you part. another one has a good name. hot trash. and bruce closes things out with loving kennedy is like loving a hurricane, you never know which way it will turn but fun to watch the waves tumble over the rocks and you just might got blown away. whew. whew. there's nothing says fall like a homecoming football game, whew. there's so let's promote our fall travel deal on choicehotels.com like this. touchdown. earn a free night when you stay just twice this fall. or, badda book. badda boom. book now at choicehotels.com pai'm open to that.medicare? lower premiums? extra benefits? it's open enrollment. time to open the laptop...

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best hour of your day. follow me on twitter and instagram, on facebook, e-mail kennedy fbn.com. have (announcer) the following is a paid advertisement from time life. ♪ i'm dreaming of a white christmas ♪ ("white christmas" by irving berlin) ♪ just like the ones i used to know ♪ ♪ ♪ where the treetops glisten ♪ and children listen ♪ to hear sleigh bells in the snow ♪ (announcer) his voice was the sound of christmas.