right down to my finger. >> all right. "the five." >> that's it for us today. send us your comments. s . welcome to "red eye." if you sync up, they will say something stupid at the beginning of money. first, let's go to an anne de levey for a pre game report. andy, what is going on in tonight's show? >> they signed legislation to raise america's debt ceiling. what is that? really. we are now being told we have to go through this all again at some point. i hope drunkenness doesn't make you a terrorist in a boston airport. and a staffer claims a presidential candidate bought

most of his over a million twitter followers. who knew tiffany sold twitter followers? greg? >> happy watermelon day, greg? >> fun fact, many assume it is a plant or barry when in fact it is an animal. >> let me get this straight, greg. your claim is that watermelon is an animal? >> yes. it is a little known fact, but there it is. >> do vegetarians know about this? >> andy, everyone should know. my mother told me in first grade when she took me to the zoo which was a huge field of grazing watermelons. >> greg? i don't know how to say this. >> go ahead, what? >> you know what, never mind. >> happy watermelon day, andy. >> happy watermelon day, you sad little man. >> i am actually kind of happy. bye. let's welcome our guests. if she got any cuter she would be coughing up kittens. i am here with criminal defense attorney remy spencer. and if hilarity was a night-light i would turn him on every night before going to bed. it is the writer and comedian. his latest, most awesome

comedy cd is called pro choice. that's a pun. deal with it. and four out of five hobos recommend chewing on him. it is semibearded bill shultz. and he is a rainbow bright of everything right. sitting next to me, tucker carlson, fox news contributor and editor in chief of "the daily caller." i like the combination. and if silly bile makes pinko smile. good to see you jie. be sure to check out today's op-ed titled -- gite tea party's war on america. don't be too worried, nation. muskets and swords are easy to defend against modern weaponry. condescending snort. greg? a two shot. that's not a two shot. >> that is something tv term wise that involves two faces on the cam at the same time. >> it is called a little big.

>> a little big? even if they accounted my big you would be the little littlest -- the littlest thing on this screen. >> oh me. >> oh you. >> it is finally over. yes, my pool boy rebellion has been squashed and those responsible dealt with appropriately. rest in peace. but the senate passed a bill to raise the debt ceiling on tuesday and president obama quickly signed it into law. but not until he had some choice words for america. is so mr. president, are we done with this, or is this just the first step? >> just the first step. >> okay fair enough. but can we close the deficit with just spending cuts, or do you think we need a balanced approach where everything is on the table? >> you can't close the deficit with spending cuts. we need a balanced approach where everything is on the table. >> on the table, eh? i admire the can dor. isn't growing the economy just about cutting spending and rolling back regulations that

protect our air and water and keep our people safe? >> the economy is not just about cutting spending. it is not about rolling back regulations to protect our air and water and keep our people safe. >> well, agree to disagree, i guess. >> one final question, sir, is there anyway we can make it tougher for young people to go to college or ask seniors to pay more for healthcare or ask scientists to give up on promising medical research? >> we can't make it tougher for young people to go to college or ask senior to pay more for healthcare or ask scientists to give up on promising medical research. >> have i to change my questions. i guess that's why they call it a compromise, right? he seems like a nice chap that president. lastly, a new cnn poll shows 77% of voters think leaders in dc behaved mostly like spoiled children when it came to the debate calling them ridiculous, disgusting, stupid and pathetic.

and worse, they steel slippers. >> who knew bernie sanders could run so fast? and with a mock sin -- moccosin in his mouth. >> if everybody hates it, does that mean it is awful or awesome? >> in this case the extremists are right. both sides have a right to hate it. it doesn't do anything with the core problem which is the assumption of most voters that everything can be for free and it shouldn't cost anything. healthcare is what is driving the debt and the deficit, and this does nothing to address it at all. >> and it won't, will it? even with this new super panel. >> and can i speak obvious? republicans will complain about this. especially ones who didn't vote for it. those who did have no right to complain. they have done nothing to

address the medicare problem. it is about medicare, it is about nothing else. >> what is this panel going to do? it sounds like a boring version of super friends. >> they will get together. it is a blue ribbon panel, and they will offer powerful and thoughtful suggestions about where to go next. >> excellent. >> let me sum it up in one sentence. we have to cut medicare spending. >> it makes it sound like our government can't do anything when you need another panel. i have been reading your blogs on this. we have been covering this closely. it is pretty impressive the work that you have been doing. care to summarize it? >> i thought it was a good move that i change the name of my blog to routers .com. i don't have any thoughts on this. the sliper match yourself tie. -- matches your tie. is that yours? >> yes. i wear sliper when's i go to a funeral in the morning like i did today. >> you did, did you? >> yes. >> i always assumed that you were -- >> that's okay. i didn't bring it up to make you feel bad.

>> it is either a funeral or you are one of the reservoir dogs on easter sunday. i don't know which way to go with that. >> congress has a 14% approval rating. you should be ashamed of yourself. that same poll qaddafi, 22% approval rating. and 10.2% of americans approve of bird flu. so that means that the congress is only 3.8 points higher than your organs turning into soup and coming out your ass. i think that is unfair. >> some people might enjoy that. remy, what is your perspective on this? you should agree with me and just move on. >> i agree with you. >> i think it is em brairsing to this country to see our lawmakers waiting until the last minute and acting like spoiled children and refusing to give in. i think the whole notion of public service has been lost,

and i think it has never been more highlighted than in this economy and this debate. nobody wants to say what they think is going to make this country better. no one is going to go out on a ledge and say it is all of that healthcare. they want to apiece the masses. i just think it is embarassing that this is the way our lawmakers are treating such an important issue. >> bill? who were the real winners here? >> they are the puppet masters in africa probably doing some tribal dance of delight over this. -- over there. i think the most puzzling comment that came from this came from the senate republican leader, mitch mcconnell, and i quote, this bill does not solve the problem, but at least it forces washington to admit it has one. so we haven't solved anything, but washington has finally realized that we have a problem after all of this. exsais separate separated -- exsais separated head shake. >> it is like half an

intervention. you got the person into the room and you said you got a problem. now let's go to the bar. >> i can't get past the tribal dance of triumph. >> we still have code words and a balance attack that means taxes. we have fairness which is taxing the rich. we are not addressing that we have people that are addicted to spending. >> that's everybody. i agree with the assessment of congress, but you can see the same amount of voters themselves. the reason we are not moving is because people like free stuff and the middle class is addicted to welfare and no one wants to say that. >> is there anyway to de regulate healthcare completely like the airlines? >> of course, but that means people pay for their own healthcare, and that is unacceptable. >> people started flying after de regulation, started flying more. >> maybe we de regulate and americans will stop getting sick. they are babies. they will go for the fever every time. you know why? they get attention at work.

>> and 10.2% of americans approve of the bird flu. >> from debt hikes to safe flights, they will be grilling instead of groping and talking instead of touching and looking at your face instead of getting to second base. yes, i refer to a new tsa program debuting in boston, a city above me in which security screeners carry out sophisticated behavioral inspections. the israeli-style approach is called screening passengers by observing techniques or spots, and training for it began on tuesday. but will spot stop plots? security experts question whether agents are up to the challenge and groups like the aclu say the program will lead to ethnic profiling. how does it work? >> you will be asked questions. it may be three or four relatively innocuous confessions and they are gauging your reaction to the questions. it is how you react. >> what do they ask? questions like where have you been? do you have a business card? where are you traveling?

and who is your favorite beatle? mine is peter torque. what does this random hot girl think? >> i think any sort of extra security will help if that is the next best thing. >> thanks, random hot girl. she is short. odd perspective. very tall cameramen. don't you think they will pull you off a plane if they see your shirt. >> they will pull me out of the strip clop, i will tell you that -- out of the strip club, that's for sure. >> somewhere larry gatlin is running around. >> did they create this program just to create the acro anymore spot -- the acro nyn spot? >> will they model it after the israeli?

he got called into a room and this was literally the interrogation? he said have you ever been to israel? very good. so is it different from the last time you were here? no i have never been here before. yes, you did say that. how old are you? 35. okay. so what do you think of the change wheeze have made to the airport since the last time you were here. i have never -- did you learn how to anterrogate from a scooby doo mystery? >> but tucker it works. >> it doesn't work. i love israel and i love going there, but i have not been impressed by the interrogation. >> really? >> if they are interrogating me -- i am not -- >> but when they see you, they are just going through the motions, right? they say we have to interrogate. >> i go through boston probably 30 times a year. nobody wants to admit the

truth. air travel is very, very safe. no one wants to admit it because there is a beurocracy for those of us willing to take the risk. don't hassle me. i will sign the form. >> a great name. risky airline. >> it is like good luck airways. >> i would fly it. >> you would. >> like any other normal americans. southwest was awesome. there is a joke directed at my friends. keep flying southwest. you will be glad you did. they tell you the questions they are going to ask. didn't that give away the whole trick? >> when someone says i have an inknock could you us with question to -- an innocuous question to ask you, i say no, no you don't. >> it is usually at a bar. >> i think it has the potential to work, but i doubt that they are going to provide sufficient training to these tsa employees who are going to be able to either fulfill

their obligations and do the work we will expect, for example from law enforcement this. is not unlike what cops do on a daily basis. but they are trained. >> i think everybody is really negative. i think they can be trained, and i think that this is not profiling, bill. it is common sense. you look at the line and you talk to people instead of feeling up granny. frankly granny has had enough. >> no way, no how. i like my sugar mamas old. i would say that it is absolutely proof. it is most profiling to smugglers. they have displayed much as a terrorist would. they are sweaty and they may say things out of turn. they are nervous and shaky. but they are not trying to blowup a plane. they wouldn't want to blowup a plane that is bad for business. what this is, greg, this is drug mulist behavior against a population that does not want to hurt us. they want us to feel good. >> you are the gandhi of the drug muellers. >> and i am skinny enough and

require a diaper. >> i think this is a good idea. the further away we get from this is irrelevant. i was watching "hawaii- five-o. the diamond thieves were all female try athletes. that does president happen in real life. >> but it still doesn't change the fact that the air travel is safe. >> don't try to stick to the topic. >> i totally agree. i wholeheartedly support the hot female try athletes. >> it is that thinking that everybody can be a criminal. not everybody is a criminal. >> the truth is, look, i know it is a cliche, they win when we do things like this. we can't have that.

>> can we get back to the topic at hand. i feel we are veering away. >> when you watch the new hawaii 5-o how weird is his neck? >> weird. >> and he wears a sports coat. >> you can't wear a sports coat if you are all neck. >> do you want to move on? >> no, i want to talk about the neck. >> jesse? >> i liked your idea about how asking terrorists what their favorite beatle was, that's a telltale, what is your favorite beatle? dung. got it, right there. >> that was a very smart comment. you get the smartest comment of the night award. it is actually not a metal. coming up, should murderers be uh allowed free room and board in your own home? it is share your bed with a killer, but first shirtless

male models on "red eye." well somebody is getting a raise.

so should looking like crap be a handicap? well, it is unfair for those who are unfair. but attractive people make more than unattractive people. $230,000 moreover the course of a lifetime. even in professions where looks wouldn't seem to matter like "red eye" which raises the question should the homely be protected in his book, he predicts the most monstrous among us will receive the same kind of legal protection extended to americans with disabilities. that would mean agrees on a universal scale of hotness and

people willing to petition the government to recognize their ugliness. meanwhile, back in my apartment . >> that is my roommate, carl. he is like a big banana and you peel off the layers and then there is more carl. >> i will go to you for obvious reasons. do you feel disadvantaged? >> i actually don't believe this story. while i am a darrell likt i hang out with some movers and shakers and to a tee they tell me for the reasons -- for the opposite reasons stated they hire unattractive assistants.

for them it is less of a distraction and less of a possible lawsuit because they are all pigs. >> the guys are? >> yeah. and so yeah they make it a . >> they do more star jones than scarlet johansson. >> that's the nanny principal and she still got her pregnant. >> remy, you are a lawyer. could unattractive people take legal action? >> i refuse to live in a country where they protect the unprotected. i spoke with a nationally renouned plastic surgeon and he says and he says it can change. you can't change your unattractiveness, and he is a

plastic surgeon and he says there is nothing or nobody that can't be improvable. >> so you used it to plug a plastic surgeon. >> it took me four years and countless appearances, but finally i did it. >> have i to say something. let me get this straight. you refuse to represent a plain jane, but that is fine. you are a monster. you are a monster. >> jesse, you were saying in the green room that you think the ugly should be treated as second class citizens. >> absolutely. the pigs as i like to call them. no, i agree with what remi said. i don't mean to paraphrase, but i think i got it right. what remi is saying is they shouldn't be treated like a protected class. we should weed out the pigs. >> wow, i didn't see that one going there rchlt.

>> no, i refuse to believe -- everybody can rise above. you tell billy joel that ugly people can't get rich and you watch him laugh out of the good side of his mouth you show me guys that can't be successful and i will show you greg gutfeld. you show me if 9 out of 10 people hate you, you can't win a popularity con teats and -- contest and i will show you the bird flu. >> there you go. tucker, what do you make of this? do you think people petition the government on behalf of their own ugliness? >> already various places including the district of columbia where i live protect people on the basis of appearance. >> i don't know how many you travel, but heavily set and tattooed and a pierced country. i feel it is getting less attractive and the disks

people put in their ear? >> you are talking about people who attempt on purpose to make themselves ugly. not born ugly, but trying to ugly. >> really aggressive. not just picking a batch or anything like that. putting a disk in your ear. are you basically saying i hate myself and i want to be as ugly as i can. >> when you look at rabbits, there is no rabbits going to the other rabbits saying, you are an ugly rabbit. >> having said that, have you seen planet of the apse? there were some hot apes and there were some really ugly apse. the mean ones were the ugly ones. >> i want to get back to the rabbits. they were all adorable. >> maybe they think we look all the same. >> so we have a high rabbit viewer ship here.

>> do you have a comment on the show? you are all beautiful to me, every one of you. i am not like tuck who thinks are you ugly or fat. and i don't think you should be put away like jesse says. red eye at fox news .com. and to leave a voicemail on my direct line call 212-462-5050. still to come, the half time report from tv's andy levy. he is hideous. just hideous. >> it is where entertainers demonstrate a skill or ability to perform a particular job. thanks, addition.

welcome back. let's find find out if we have anything wrong so far. for that we go to tv's andy levy. >> how are you? >> great. >> obama signs debt crying extension. you said this bill doesn't do anything about the core problem which is the voter's assumption that everything can be free and cost nothing. are you saying they hope for two things, bread and circuss? >> i should have summed it up that way because that's what i meant. >> i don't like circuses

because it is boring. >> hold on a second. >> yes. >> wandering the intellectual desert. >> and is the committee that is going to be set up, it is a blue ribbon panel? >> it is a super duper blue ribbon platinum coated. >> really? >> the top drawer. it is really the best. >> they are not going to wear capes. they are wearing dickies. >> we are in good hands. >> they are the best. >> these guys know what they are doing. >> you said it is embarassing for our country that our lawmakers are acting like spoiled children. we are getting letters. >> well, you know what, you will also get letters about how handsome you look in the pink shirt tonight. >> this is pink tuesday. that's what andy calls it.

>> i think it is more interesting than the dead. >> anything is more interesting than the dead. >> that's a white shirt he dropped in with his underwater. >> listen. will everybody just layoff the wardrobe? just because a few moments ago a guy who looks like a middle aged dennis the men nis, if he became a gay dentist and called me out on my shirt -- >> how high is my self-esteem? >> i don't even know what that means, but i am flattered. i couldn't let that go. >> i can see jesse stewing in the wheels cranking. i knew it was happening. >> thank you, jesse. i had more stuff on the debt thing, and it really sucked.

>> sorry, i didn't mean to derail it. >> no, i'm being totally sincere. choosing behavioral profiling. first of all you said one of the questions travelers will be asked is who is your favorite beatle? >> yes. >> not true. >> and your favorite is peter torque? >> the base player. >> yeah, but the beatles were ry ngo star, george harrison, rest in peace, john benson, rest in peace, and paul mccartney, rest in peace. jesse, don't you think when screeners ask things like what do you do for a living, aren't you going to be in trouble? >> i give it two weeks before somebody will not let me on a plane before they are like, tell me a joke. tell me a joke. >> i just see them go, oh you are a comedian. oh eddie, we have a real comedian over here. >> i am going to start taking the train. >> you may not be wrong. in 2008 an israeli screening

officer asked a dancer to prove his identity by dancing. >> i believe you. >> andy, what will they make you do? >> i want to you come over here and look at my co-workers. >> that's what the security people like to hear when you correct their grammar and stuff like that. they get a really charge out of that. >> sir, you are upgraded to first class. i get that a lot. tucker, you said you are not impressed by the israeli security. you said it was stupid. one of the ways the israelis screen is by singling out people who are arab which also believes me to believe that they don't own mirrors. >> i don't know what happened. they took my currency and sniffed it. >> my point was that israelis and the arabs look pretty much the same. >> yeah, they do. but i can't get into ugly ethnic generalizations like that.

>> remy, i am all for behavioral screen figure they know what they are doing, but i highly doubt it. >> we need to try something new. let's see how it works. >> as long as the people are properly trained. if these are the same people who want to check granny's diaper, i have my doubts. >> i have my doubts then. >> i like it when you agree with what i have to say. >> what about his shirt? >> do ugly people need protection? >> the best part of the story was everyone talking about ugly people that is them. >> you said attractive people make more money than unattractive people over the course of a lifetime. even in professions where looks don't seem to matter, maybe the attractive people are better at their jobs. >> maybe.

>> this is probably a study done by a horrible person. >> but does anybody ever think they are ugly? >> yes. >> you answered that too quickly. >> 99% of all women no matter how objectively attractive or unattractive they are believe at times genuinely that they are ugly. >> really? >> i think you are gorgeous and i will make out with you until you agree with me. >> greatest iron me? woman who had her face torn off by a chimp? she is super cocky. >> horrible. not a laugh. >> my thing is i don't go for like surface appearance and stuff like that. i think inside everybody is ugly. >> that's depressing. >> on the other hand, remy, i certainly don't think we should, quote, unquote, weed out the pigs. >> it is unbelievable.

>> i believe everyone is beautiful. that's what i was trying to say. >> how does that mean weed out the pigs? unbelievable. at least own what you say. don't ask that you didn't know what you said. >> so they made it illegal to discriminate on the basis of appearance. what did you mean by that? >> literally the big sign that says all of the ways we are not allowed to discriminate, one of them, one of the long lit knee is appearance. so if a freaky person applies to work at your office you have to apply them. >> you mean a face tatoo? >> have i no problem with that. -- i have no problem with that. >> this is a face tatoo. this whole thing is -- >> i know your eyebrows you said you have done. >> which of your employees are freaky looking? >> swing by.

>> i have never been by. >> literally 8. a 30 every morning come and look at the freak show in progress. >> we may not have anyone there tomorrow. >> i still would like to hear some names. >> i can't do that on television, i'm sorry. >> it is against the law. >> i'm done. >> it -- thraw, my friend, that you are. >> how guilty is guilty? we discuss remy's new book, if i get you off, who cares? but first, are we really sending will i.am to china? why not?red, maybe they will keep him.

why is a black eyed pea engaging in diplomacy? beats me. but it is true-e. it is the collaboration no one asked for. will-i am is teaming up to put on a concert in beijing. he met with hillary clinton to announce the event that

encourages american students to study in china. says the show's organizer, quote, he is one of america's most creative artists. his name popped up quickly. that's because you are stupid. let's discuss this in the -- >> lightning round. lightning round. >> jesse, isn't this an act of war against china? what have they done to us? >> if your motivation is based on the touring schedule, you will not represent the country. i hope if anything the program lasts for years and years and that's how it is based and the students will just follow the -- oh you are studying abroad? where are you studying? i will be studying at the norfolk county fair. i will be studying at the new

jersey elk's lodge. >> you were saying that obama should be impeached. is that a real possibility? >> i can't even -- of course. why do we have a program encouraging the college students to study in china? >> i don't know. we are just sending people out. >> isn't it inevitable that they want to move there ultimately? why are we hayesening this? >> remi, how does a crapy concert make a i had kid want to go to china? >> maybe i am not that cool or hip, but i wasn't sure who will i-am was. >> i think it will confuse the chinese. his name is william and they put the period in there and the poor chinese people over there are going like, what? >> exactly. now they will think that's how we pronounce our name. this is a front to william's a

world over. >> exactly. >> bill you are not. >> let's shift the emphasis off will i am off the taboo. he has to be in the dumps. all of the focus is on him. >> he has been one in the face. this is just macing the figure tiff now with the literal because the head is just sloped. it is almost equine. he is sorts of a horse horeseman. >> on that note we will move on. he is ulling ka the guy a horse face. >> all you have to do is superimpose troy palomalo on a collides dale. that's it. >> they were offered an argument why he should be the republican nominee.

he has six times the number of followers combined. over 1.3 million. a former staff member said he hired a firm to boost his number of followers by creating fake twitter accounts. what is wrong with me? are the fake on-line followers any worse than the real? >> no, of course not. in some sense they are more real. you paid for them. you know what i mean? this has to be the saddest argument ever to break out. i have more twitter followers. i am not going to criticize newt gingrich. how deep is my pain? >> two years ago they featured him. you are on twitter, right? >> they suggested that it is just a bunch of people. do you buy that? >> no, it is so sad and pathetic that he would have to pay somebody to follow him. and we should have left the next president based on the number of twitter followers? well then shouldn't lady gaga

be our next president? is there anybody that has more than 12 million will toers? -- followers. >> isn't like that movie "can't buy me love" where he gets caught for paying the girl to date him. isn't it like that? >> probably if i had seen the movie. >> well, just the plot. >> fair enough. >> even if it was real, let's delve into what his tweets are. a great fire department pancake breakfast. and stopped for lunch in the pizza shack. and another one, had great sour crawt at the mitchell county fair. and great lunch. do you think we should take him more seriously because you accurately document your pizza and can cake consumption? it reads like the crapiest

journal of all time. >> you know what? it is an interesting story of what these guys have to eat on the campaign trail. all they do is go to pancake breakfasts and sausage fests and stuff like that. >> is it true? >> remember obama was always pretending to eat it, and it was about to bite into something and he put it down? i knew what he was up to. i knew it from the start. >> if only if we could teach somebody. >> well it was candidate obama. it was pretty cool bill, i have a question for you. city find it that this practice is pathetic. >> it is very sad, but it is obvious to anybody. i was an inaugural follower. anytime somebody would retreat it was an herbal viagra retreat or someone who would invest their money.

>> you know who i am talking about and i won't say the names say you see a comedian and you say this guy has a half million or politician and you go and look on it and there is no activity and nothing. it is definitely bought and you look at the profile and a lot don't have pictures. >> i earned my five followers aside from bill shultz maybe he is awesome. y. >> time for another break. stick around. check out the pod cast. to catch them go to fox news radio .com and click on "red eye." we talked about some of the things we don't like about mass.

according to an e-mail sent from the minute free -- the ministry of information, muammar qaddafi wants to hire a pr firm to better his image. it was to better his news conferences and spread good word on his moral and legal claims to power. remi, would you work for anyone, would you work for him? >> that's not true. i wouldn't for anyone. >> you got to kill more people? >> no, no, no. i don't know why he thinks there is a pr firm that will help or change his image. >> why should you care at this point?

>> that's a good point. i think he wanted to come to new jersey a couple years ago, and he rented or tried to rent out this fancy estate and the neighbors protested and got rid of him. >> he tried to rent one of my goats and i wouldn't let him have it. >> -- have i to argue. have you ever met a publicist? >> they will be lining up, greg. >> you have to move to washington for that. >> there are people already representing the government and that is the caw qaddafi government. >> i know some of them. every sleez ball in the world has an agent in washington. >> except for jesse. >> i am under represented in dc. >> is your image gone? can he rehabilitate himself? >> if i was going to strategize i would do pr for caw qaddafi, my first order of business would be to dispel

the rumors that he looks like transvestite genes simmons. >> get him in the same room together to quiet the conspiracy theory you have never seen gene simmons in the same room at the same time? >> the tongue is the proof. >> bill, you were once a dictator in the late 90s before you had your pr makeover. what helped you most in all of this? >> that was the name of the country my advice would be to, yes, stop with the transvestite stuff. have those 70 guards come out before him rocket style with the guns and make an entrance. that would help him. did it for free. you are welcome, mr. qaddafi. >> we will close things out with a post game wrap up from tv's andy levy, and then we will see clips from recent shows. no, we're not.

if you want to see clips, what's is wrong with me? go to foxnews.com/redeye.

the last time i was here, a brand-new "red eye" returns tomorrow. time to go back to andy levy for the post game wrap up. >> will you on the willis report next week? >> thanks for asking, andy. i'm not sure which day yet, but i will be on the jerry willis show on the fox business network. >> we will just watch and wait for you to show up. >> good because it is the greatest show. >> you know that is on opposite "the five." you can record one and watch the other live. >> welcome to the 25th century, mr. bond. unreal, andy. >> i love that voice. >> unreal. >> just trying to start a fight. >> are you going to be in wisconsin late they are week? >> how did you know that? >> you told me to ask you,

jerk. >> wow. >> i will be at the skyline comedy cafe thursday through saturday. and i'm in anchorage, alaska. five people came out the last time. >> excellent. very cool. >> tucker what is the daily caller up to these days. >> it is our advice column which is the most hilarious thing ever. he has an amazing argument for putting ashton kutcher up for human sacrifice. and he quotes the great, great gutfeld in it at great length. >> thank you. >> excellent. >> greg, i have about 12 seconds or so. anything you want to get off your chest? anything you want to talk about or ask me or say to our people watching at home or maybe the other guests or maybe we should just end the show? >> i don't know. i mean we could just stair at each other. >> sure.