don't forget, thefive@foxnews.com. good night, everybody. welcome to "red eye." i'm greg gutfeld with 100% of your daily gutfeld requirements. eat up. let's go to andy levy for a pre game report. what's coming up on tonight's show? >> the people for the ethical treatment of animals gave an award to a new film, rise of the planet of the apes. did i mention this movie is in theater nows and getting excellent reviews? maybe see it. and al gore said america needs its own arab spring. we will try to figure out what the former vice president and tv founder means straight ahead. did you get that one? and brazil's biggest city adopts legislation calling for a heterosexual pride day leading to worrys that we may

be looking at the world's most boring parade ever. >> thank you, andy. >> happy national underwear day. >> i wasn't sure whether to wear bikini, a thong or g-string so i decided to wear all three. >> well, good forgetting into the expert of the day. i wear a sports bra. >> they great for reducing embarassment of breast movement during exercise. i remember seeing you jogging during the surf line and you were so much at peace. >> that was more because of my maiden form boy short. >> that does show off your muscular thighs. >> it provides excellent support. >> i guess that's why you borrowed them from me. >> that's one of the reasons. >> perhaps we should end it here then. >> probably wise. >> go away you sad man. let's welcome our guest. she is so hot that oven mitts are now called hand dobs. i am here with jill dobson. check out our website, the jill dobson show .com. it is an unoriginal title, but

we'll leave it at that. and he is sharper than a spike made of knives. it is jaime weinstein, senior editor of "the daily caller." and he puts the p-u in public dit. and he is one of the most talented caw meed duck performers. but enough of david brenner. >> words that hurt. >> i want to hurt you. >> and no one would quibble he is full of dribble. good to see you, pinch. >> the front page story in the home section, an italian couple builds an abode in nevada. if they want minimal list, they should hit bill shultz's refrigerator box which consists of a blanket, bowl of milk, me doubling as toilet paper and a fully operational s biion. greg? >> thank god nobody know what's that is. >> they know. at this hour, they know.

>> look at the two-shot. >> it is not a two-shot. >> it's a two shot! >> sensitive paper. they are going for apes. i speak of peta, the silly animal rights organization that has given the seal of approval which oddly made of real seals. it is 20th sen century's rise. they are happy no real beasts were used in the movie and they use performance captured technology to create the cgi. peta says it is the first live action film to be told from the point of view of a sentiant animal. didn't see russell brand's lafs -- last movie i guess. and it is the coveted progy award. says the group, quote, rupert explained that a big theme is humanities, mistreatment and captive apes. it shows the humans of the film as the heroes, which are

the villains. you guys at peta realize in the scenario the super intelligent pissed off ape s who rip your face-off? does their moral vic -- victory out weight your face being eaten off? and to think it started here. >> he was flinging feces at me. i was catching it. >> isn't it sad that peta likes this movie because the apes kill humans? >> i didn't know peta had their own movie award. 1k3* then the last movie that got the award was "turner and hooch." >> i didn't know that. >> they won it twice in a row. i want to see apes when i go

to the movie. i don't want to see a dude with the thing on his head acting like an ape. >> you want to see the actual monstrous beast. >> i want to see the beast ripping somebody apart. and i am so glad they didn't pick a brother to play the monkey part. as a community we never would have let him -- you you can't play a monkey and then come back to the hood. >> that's a shame. >> it is a true story. >> it is a shame. you would be wearing an ape costumes so it wouldn't matter. >> but he didn't have the costumes. he just had the thing. >> terrible. >> so there is a dude acting like a monkey. >> terrible, terrible, terrible. >> do you think the peta people think they would be spared by the apes the way some people think if you are nice to terrorists they will spare you. isn't that the same think ?g. >> perhaps. but my thinking on this in case are you wondering -- i am saying it anyway. peta is kind of awesome from the point of view of a journalist who is under

deadline. these people are so good about getting back to reporters. they always provide video usually of a naked celebrity whether it is one lettuce leave. and they always know how to make a mountain out of a mole hill. the president killed a fly. send out a press release. j-lo wore fur, send out a press release. this movie harmed apes? oh it didn't harp -- didn't harm apes? send out a publicity report. >> nice to know you are from allentown, pennsylvania, lovely pace. -- place. >> also home to lots of crime. >> is there a dumber organization than peta? >> there is absolutely no dumenter organization than pea -- no dumber organization than peta. they think they are in the interest of animals, but by doing this animal unemployment rates will sky rocket. the fact of the matter is peta has been a self-loathing homo cape yuan organization. when i was on college campuses

they would have affairs on the campus comparing killing animals to the holocaust. i think at that point you self-marginal liesed yourself. if -- >> if there are girls there you went. >> on capitol hill the "playboy" mansion comes and they try to give out vegetarian hot dogs. that's a nice event. >> that's sweet. bill, the thing that bothers me about this movie is in the original "planet of the apes" he played a monkey and was fantastic. carter was probably the sexiest monkey ever. >> that was the only good thing in that movie. the only scene mark wahlberg had was making out with her and her prosthetics. i thought things i didn't think i could think. >> and it is not bestial tee. >> you don't feel bad about yourself the next morning. you feel bad about what you did to the pillow.

y. >> it was awful. >> the original -- very confusing. >> no, i wasn't. the original was with charlton these stone, one of the greatest movies of all time. >> and mcdowell. >> but if he played a male monkey. >> no she was in the late e movie. >> that's the one you mentioned. >> i was talking about original mcdowell and then went to the later one. >> why did i go to you for a question? >> you asked confusing questions. >> what bill is trying to say is of all of the monkey women that's the one you would -- >> exactly. >> close second is michael clark duncun. he looked good. he was the big one. >> but out of all of them only one won a proggy award. >> if peta remade "jaws" the shark would eat everybody and be seen as a victory, right?

exactly. that's the only example i have. >> as opposed to where the shark ate everybody. >> and then died. >> even if there is a mechanical shark does peta say something? >> it demmon nighses sharks. there are people that believes steven spielberg is responsible for the sharks. >> and there is the ecological circle of life that is the ocean. >> people rarely shoot aliens. >> a lot of children road their bicycles off cliffs thinking they could fly. i have no data on that. >> i did it. you know what, it wasn't because of et, i got hot. >> here is the thing with peta i learned. i went to a peta animal rights concert a longtime ago. >> convert. >> b-52's were there and that's about it. there are three groups they

appeal to, co-eds, and young people who haven't thought about where things come from. this is a romantic notion. two celebrities who are stupid, but need to appear smart, this is an easy cause to jump on to. and the elderly who cling to anything furry. can i ask a politically incorrect question? how many african-americans are in peta? >> seven. >> that's what i thought. >> the rest of us black people hate them. how you don't eat ribs? you can't eat a plate of ribs and be in peta. >> you can't. from ape to aping. a former vip thinks we should copy the middle east, particularly their uprising. al gore is worried about the debt ceiling. in an effort to get our country back on track he is calling for a reen vying ration of democracy. as he calls it, an american

spring. here is captain charisma on keith olberman's new show. >> the arab spring, the nonviolent part of it isn't finished yet, but we need to have an american spring, an american tahrir square, nonviolent change where people from the grassroots get involved again. not in the tea party style. >> not then, no. >> but aren't there people who are genuinely upset with the tea party? >> there are people genuinely upset. i understand that. but that movement was funded with money from right wing billionaires, the cope brothers and promoted it on fox news and turned into a stalking horse for this right wing agenda that a lot of people have been trying to push on this country for a longtime. >> he is like a slowly deflating hissing balloon. one day he will go like this

and just float away. if gore is encouraging a revolution on the left, some are already accepting the call. i believe we have a tape of the first meeting. >> that is just wrong. >> issue a press release. >> jill, since you started talking. >> does he even know what an arab spring means? >> it sounds like something about the tea party. everybody needs something on

the issue. it is the right wing agenda. what is a stalking horse? >> anybody know what that is? >> it is an expression. >> i thought it was a trans sexual horse. >> i thought it was a horse that followed me around a lot and wanted to be in my life. >> looked in your window and sent you weird letters from a magazine. >> it is amazing how they can do that with their hoofs. >> they cut out the magazine stuff. they are good with glue. >> i think we are missing a news hook. al gore compared president obama to a tyrant. first of all, i am offended he would do that to our president, and i hope the wizards at msnbc give him a rhetorical lashing for it. and how idiotic this is calling for an arab spring. the difference is they were revolting against tierney and had a chance of being mowed down. these people are going out there and partying in the streets and protesting and have no chance.

>> it is nut tee. >> you have to keep in mind that al gore was the vice president and he gets the same respect you gave your vice principal. man, you ain't the boss. when you hear statements like this, don't you wish he was president. >> he would never say that. then he would be the oppressive dictator. it is amazing. basically he has compared oppressive regimes to a democracy. and that is absolutely -- it is beyond come pre comprehension. bill, is he wining because the left doesn't have what the right has right now? >> good. i don't want the left to have it. i thought the only population in america that didn't understand come pro compromise were infants. but now american babies are not alone. >> you always say that, but all of the tea parties have is about government.

>> they want to talk about boehner because it was no taxes, no taxes. don't say anything. no taxes, no taxes. >> do it intellectually, bill. they got people elected based on a principal of no taxes, cut spending. that doesn't have to be a compromise. >> you can get elected that way. you can't do anything in government that way. politics is all about compromise and these people don't understand it. >> you can say oh god all you want. it is true. >> and that's why the left. >> you, my friend are an idiot. you are an idiot. >> that is not beside the fact. >> if you go on wikipedia in the next 10 minutes it will be there. >> he puts it on. every time i take it off he puts it back on. >> ladies, ladies, you are both beautiful. >> initially it sounds stupid

what he is saying here. but gore supported the green movement. he probably has a financial stake in creating an arab spring. >> since when have you people been against capitalism. >> it is the soap he is putting out. >> it smells great and my e mom likes it too. from democracy to huh poke craw see. it was one sweet he couldn't swallow. university of tennessee bookstore stopped selling breath mints that poked fun of president obama after a democratic lawmaker complained. they are called disappointment. >> no. what? >> you should have read the story. >> i read it. >> and the state rep says the student notified him of the mint and he decided to investigate for himself. what an important investigation. they found the breath fresh neither was important to the president and thought he should be confident about the political specific products.

let's go to poodle on a mellon. what is the late ?es . >> as a black man i am against wasting a watermelon like that. >> that is just awful. i condemn you with my stair. >> that will be the name of your next show. you can laugh. your audience will be a mostly white base. i see this happening. i have seen this happening. tv magic happening right now.

>> the store previously carried breath mints making fun of president obama. >> next to those mints is the 100 things president bush ever said. you can have mind comp but not these breath mints which are a mild review. >> it is disappointed. >> that's nothing. is this a form of sensorship? >> yeah, it is. and i personally try not to disparage the president no matter what side of the aisle he may come from. but i think others have to be allowed to. and therefore as a fan of free speech we must allow the disappointment. >> they are liberal students who talk about having to be toll rebt of things. -- tolerant of things. >> how far does this go? the next thing it is a brown knee with nuts it and it says obama on it. because he is brown and nutty? >> but this isn't racist.

it is disappoint-mints. >> i think it is funny jie. how could anyone argue with this? isn't anyone slightly disappointed? is anyone going, yes, this is exactly what we asked for. >> lefty could buy these mints and feel good about it. >> yes, sure, i guess. >> i would buy it and then after i finished the mints i would keep weed in it. >> that's a great way to smuggle it. >> you can't smell anything. >> i mean the old me would have done that, the old me. >> kids at home, do not do that when you go to the airport. >> we are almost hitting 20 minutes here. what is it like being an adorable creature. we discuss jill dobbs who president can't hold a can to my awesomeness. and what are heidi and spencer

wining about now? they are talking about mortgages affecting the low credit rating that may surprise you.

should you care about his dispair? that couple of unmitigated turd faces on the reality show. they opened up about their downward spiral and found someone who would listen. obviously i wish i didn't do it. i would go back and not have any surgery. it doesn't help. i got too caught up in hollywood and being so into myself and my image. he said, "this isn't a business. that was the big thing i didn't get. reality tv is not a career. anyone who says, oh you can

have a career in reality that, is a lie." spencer added that mtv producers tried to coax him into hitting his sister and they are now broke and living in mom's rent free beach house. must be nice. let's go to the tape of spencer leaving for his new job as mascot at the local banana hut. >> can this fake marriage be saved? >> no, it is over. first of all, spencer and heidi, we had enough of them two years ago. i'm glad to see them broke. i'm not gonna lie. i'm a hater. i'm glad they are broked. i'm glad she is disappointed that she got all of that plastic surgery and now she is walking around looking like a tonka truck. >> she is a big, yellow tonka truck.

>> she is only 27? >> she looks like joan rivers. >> it is awful. >> you spend a lot of time with reality folks. aren't they all bad people? >> i think being a reality star brings out the worst in you. the more awful you are the more air time you will get. the more air time you get the more positive reinforcement and money you get. they have had more coverage on "us weekly" than particularly angelina jolie who is a talented actress with an oscar. >> eh. >> they know how to self-promote and i say go work for peta. >> believe me, they are right for peta. >> even peta says, these are two animals we don't want to save. >> she is so full of botulism she pretty much is nonhuman. >> the most interesting part of the interview is they say, where did all of the money go? spencer says, we never had money. he details the $2 million they spent on her nonexistent music career.

a monster truck they bought for one show. the question is, they had money, but they are morons and they lost it all. >> does heidi's face issues make you rethink your upcoming surgery? >> it is another psa for another time. he is lying. anyone can come up with 20 reality tv vets that made a total career out of it very successfully. >> yes, franco. >> their problem is they are jerks so that's why it didn't work for them. they need to get back in the game. i suggest they do a reality tv veteran halfway house for all of the other jerks on tv. >> that's a good idea. >> they are not drug problems, it is just like them, destitute. >> reality rehab. >> snookie -- we will call it reali of hab. >> get them altogether in one house. >> it is all the biggest jerks. >> it should be called a-hab.

rehab for [bleep]. >> let's produce that. why are we giving out these great ideas? >> isn't it copyrighten now that we said it on tv? >> well you said a-has been. i -- a-hab, i own it. don't even try, hollywood. don't even try. i will write an angry letter and probably not mail it. do you have a comment on the show? e-mail us at fox news at red eye .com. and 462-5050. still to come, unfortunately the half time report from tv's andy levy. >> tonight's half time report is sponsored by bubbles, the thin, usually spherical or hem my spherical liquid filled with gas. thanks, bubbles.

welcome back. let's find out if we have anything wrong so far. for that let's go to tv's andy levy. and it shows. >> more pep in my pep. >> more vin in your vie gor. greg, you mentioned that peta says it is going to be told from the point of view from a sention animal and they didn't see russell brand's latest movie.

actually you did. it was the first to be told from a sention animal. if the turner and hooch" never won. >> they did. >> nope. >> honorable mention? >> nope. >> maybe i am thinking the wrong movie. >> you are thinking of "avatar." >> wasn't a one-woman play with a bottle of scotch? >> you can see something similar every night at mccain's a block away. i will be there soon, kathleen. >> you said when i was on a college campus not long ago -- you are young, shut up. >> i just wanted to rub it in a little bit. >> you said some people say steven spielberg is responsible for the death of thousands of sharks. not true jie. are you sure?

did you google spielberg guilty for the death of sthows of sharks? >> binged it. >> no. >> i don't know. >> of course you didn't do anything, did you? >> no. it is one of those times i just know you are wrong. >> no, i read it somewhere. >> did you say spielberg said he was responsible? >> he is absolutely responsible for more than a thousand. shark fishing went through the roof after "jaws" came out. >> andy, we are not even get nooght undocumented death of crusty fishermen. >> that you can back up. >> we were tired of their stories. >> they needed bigger boats. >> i love josh. >> al gore says he needs an american spring style. you said it sounds like gore is saying they need something

like a tea party and everyone should share my . of view. -- share my point of view. he says our democracy is withering on the vine. >> wow. the am buds man is right. >> a stalking horse is like a decoy you use to cover up your true motives. >> it is not a trojan horse you fill with enemies? >> no. >> it is not a trojan? >> no. >> i fill that with horses. >> back to me. >> back to andy. >> gore is saying the tea party is a stalking horse for the people like the coke brothers, rich people who want lower taxes. he is stupid for saying it, i should point that out. jaime when you hear stuff like this, don't you just wish gore were president? i actually understand gore's bitterness. he should have been president in 2000.

>> i now see what we missed. >> his bitterness was not coming from losing presidency. his bitterness came from temper. >> that's where his bitterness came from tiper. >> remember that fake kiss? you would be bitter too. >> i hardly knew her. >> greg, you noted that state rep joe armstrong said a student notified him of the mint so he decided to investigate for himself. >> yes. >> translation, it is used to check out college chicks. >> guess what, he just got out of college. >> or dudes. >> the irony is he popped disappointment. he helped him on his way. >> this college student saw a pack of mints in the bookstore and he notified his state representative. >> it is so fake.

that's not how it happened. >> it is a lie. it is a mountain of lies in a canyon of fish. >> he made that up. he was at the college bookstore to check out college chicks who happened to see the mints. >> and his wife was going, what were you doing? >> a student e-mailed me. >> this could be the spark that starts gore's arab spring. >> this is where it begins. >> jaime, you pointed out the bookstore even though they don't sell the mints, but he told the bookstore's director the mints had no educational value. >> it is education students who should be disappointed. >> i am surprised he said the

mints had no educational value. >> something that makes these disappoints ment's sells embarass ment's. >> there is no ideology. >> the thing is, if you look at the contents, you will find out how much a noodle is. >> it teaches college kids the importance of rhyming. >> absolutely. if they said oodles of disappointment. >> how ironic they are oodles of disappointment. >> somebody modified the wikipedia page calling it the appointment of the first amendment. >> who was that person? >> it was not me. probably the same person who added a section called i had -- called idiot on bill's page.

>> it is a full time job. you can't do it. >> i don't want to do it. >> heidi and spencer say they are broke. jill, you say he should hookup with peta. peta went after them because they bought a designer dog. >> they burned a bridge. they are good at publicity. spencer has a talent. maybe they can work with the government. >> that's not a bad idea. >> is that the woman who gave her mother 40 whacks. >> no, she ran over poor people. >> and she bounced back and is a successful publicist. >> moi point is women named lizzy are bad news. >> maybe they had to eat that designer dog they bought now they are broke. >> spencer's sister stephanie posed nude for peta in 2010. >> why? >> i don't know. something about bunnies.

>> i love my bunnies. >> this is my favorite parts. this is how stupid the two of them are. they list all of the things in the full interview they wish they hadn't done, but say they have no regrets. city kind of thought they -- that was the definition of regrets. i'm done. >> that you r. see you in a few. coming up, should white people be made into tasty hamburgers? sherrod discusses his new book. and can beluga whales rock out? of course they can.

should the non-gay get their own day, or is a party for straight more like it.

a place in brazil they have called for an annual heterosexual pride day. the author of the bill says it is, quote, not anti-gay, but the privileges of the gay community that the gay community enjoys. he knows it is held on one of the main thoroughfares while the march for jesus is not allowed on the same avenue. a brazilian gay rights group criticized the bill saying it would promote violence. therefore this must be discussed in the lightning roooound. y lightning round. >> that was funny. roooound. >> you know you have been on this show while we have done that, and you never remember it. >> i never remember, r ooooooun.

>> hopefully we have a lot of viewers that are surprised every time. >> the joke is so silly. we are doing a lot of quick stories so let's make the entrance really long. >> i never got that before. >> now jill is starting to laugh. >> i'm laughing a lot and i still don't get it. i haven't gotten it for a year. i just laugh with other people. i don't know where i am. >> sherrod don't they realize a heterosexual pride day or hpd would not be that fun? >> a bunch of heterosexuals on the street drunk. it was like the yankee game just got out. >> you are the majority.

stop it. >> break it down to sections like the irish. but gay pride parade -- they are not the majority. they want to get in the group where it is all them. and they don't have to turn their back every two seconds and get hit in the head with a brick. >> we are talking about brazil. they are the majority there. no i think they have a heterosexual day and it is call carnival. >> the gay parade, it is never a paw -- parade for long. i have been to a few. they break off into other parades. it is still a line, but not a parade. >> it is just a bunch of men walking with construction hats and don't get too close to me. >> jill, would a heterosexual pride day send the wrong or right message? >> the whole thing is the wrong message.

we are going to start a straight pride day, we should start the eye nighted white girl college fund and all of these groups as a whole. >> bill, you don't want such a day. it is a slap in your face. >> it is a slap in the face. i hate all parades. i hate the gay pride parade and the st. patrick's day parade and puerto rico parade. they should be illegal. they hurt the economy and hurt the locals. they are awful. i read this one and i punched them in the face. i am adamant. get rid of all parades. they are evil. >> they destroy the traffic pattern. >> every time you have somebody in the caribbean together they have to close the street. it is like who cares? a french newspaper, yes they have them in france reports that air france ordered a mail only cabin crew for dom niece strauss-kahn.

-- dominique strauss-kahn. he sexually assaulted a new york hotel mate. apparently they made the decision after receiving complaints from employees about dsk who had a long-standing arrangement for the airline to fly on whatever flight he president whated. -- he wanted. >> hundreds of complaints, at what point do you get banned for life? another point has to be brought up here. this is air france. they are known for men with borish behavior. >> this is such a cover up on this guy. jill, are we going to see more women come out and accuse him of stuff. you know what is going on in france. >> who know what's is really going on. what i am intrigued by is you can get a mail only cabin crew. i want to start requesting that. it is just a bunch of hot dudes. >> i don't think they would be interested in you.

>> have you ever been on a flight? >> it is not because you were pregnant, bill. >> you are not exactly hiring people. >> if you didn't have the bun in the oven, they would be all over you. >> sherrod, weigh in on this. what do you make of this? >> it is only a matter of time before the dude says he tried to force him into the bathroom. like bill said, these flight attendants, they are not exactly getting hired from the heterosexual parade. >> does this mean he is leaving the united states? >> once he is over there he can't come back. >> yeah, he can't come back. >> he won't come back because they won't be able to extradite him. >> he has a house in dc.

>> this is going to secure his victory. >> he is coming back. all of the women in france has been uh assaulted by this guy. >> allegedly. we must go. time for another break. check out the "red eye" pod cast. go to fox news radio .com. click on "red eye." tonight what did we stalk about? stuff, things, fun stuff. joe derosa's birthday party, like people care. >> they don't know who joe derosa is.

do i have to tip these guys? this is so rude. the glass broke and the adorable whale ate them all. there was a happy ending. peta applauded that. so we will close things out with a post game wrap up from tv's andy levy. he is our own beluga whale. he lives in a tank of water. go to foxnews.com/redeye.

i will see you back here at 5:00 p.m. eastern time for "the five." coming up tomorrow, return appearances from the former arkansas governor mike huckabee. and there is the return of writer dana bo sean. -- bischon. back to tv's andy levy for a post game wrap up. >> thanks, greg. jill, what is the hot topic on the jill dobson show? >> i am posting pictures of courtney friel. check it out. >> it is a win-win. >> how long before the cast members of jersey shore turn into spidey? >> i would say it has already happened. >> what is going on? >> 82nd and 2nd.

opening doors for people. young comics. >> you are working the door? >> not only working the door. i'm bartending and it is a live web cast. got a lot of nerdz involved in it. >> thanks for having me. >> bill, are you going to keep that thing on your face? >> yes, this is actually the result of me foregoing to whisker wars which is why i wasn't on the show. i grew it out to compete in a bearding comeetition. you have to tune in to see if i won. and this is no joke. i did not shave here. this is what happens. >> i think everyone at home should tune in tomorrow, but i don't think they should tune in to see if you won. >> that's the only reason. the rest of the show will suck. >> you know what he looks like? show another picture of bill. he looks like the young native american boy from "king of the hill." >> he