if he didn't assault anybody. >> he had good -- >> oh, oh, we got to get out. we are out of the time. >> thank you for watching the five. see you monday. welcome to red eye. i'm greg gutfeld, the creator of gutfeld land. but i must remind you, keep your hands in the boat on the house boys of the caribbean ride. at all times, they will bite you. joe, what's coming up on tonight's show? >> coming up on the show, whose name sounds like something a doctor would call a sty. at the g.o.p. presidential debate, fireworks erupt. everybody was just pissed they had to be in iowa. just kidding, iowa. as the riots continue in england, we learn that some of the looting has been blamed on the food. and last but not least, a poll shows that most new york city

residents are not worried at all about terror. but they are quite concerned about broadway's revival of "hair" and its sister act. >> thank you, joe. >> that's it? we are not going to do some humorous back and forth like you always do? >> greg: nah. >> if it was andy, would you do it? >> greg: yeah. >> i hate the both of you. >> greg: neither one of us cares. but we love you. >> really? >> greg: no. you suck. beat it. let's welcome our guests. she's so hot that all of her pants are hot pants, i'm here with anna gilligan. and as a special birthday treat, we have andy levy in the studio. don't touch anything andy. and my repulsive side kick bill schultz. the kitchen from great britain. sitting next to me, kevin godlington, former british soldier who runs a charity for

orphanages and veterans initiatives. sounds just made up. and he may be full of lies, but he can swat flies. it's our new york times correspondent. >> steven holden calls "glee" the movie, a tutorial on tolerance. it is so terrific to be yourself. bonus -- the 3d is really in your face with the gay stuff, delightfully so, i might add. check it out -- or you're a bigot. >> greg: all right. was it the debatiest debate ever debated? that's debatable. or is it? seven men and one bachmann took turns bopping each other and the president. fellow minnesotans, michele bachmann and tim pawlenty kicked off the quarreling. >> it's an undisputable fact that in congress, her record of

accomplishment and results is nonexistent. that's not going to be good enough for our candidate for president of the united states. >> you said the era of small government was over. that sounds a lot more like barack obama, if you ask me. >> she's got a record of misstating and making false statements. that's another example. she says she has a titanium spine, we're not worried about her spine f. that's your view of effective leadership, please stop because you're killing us. >> newt got pissy with my hair idol bret baier. >> you were asked what you would do. are you certain about libya and where it stanes now? >> let me suggest, this is a good example of a gotcha question -- >> no, it's not. >> no. >> then the angry thumb went after chris wallace. >> how do you respond to people who say that your campaign has been a mess so far? >> let me say first of all, chris, that i took seriously

bret's injunction to put aside the talking points. i wish you would put aside the gotcha questions. [cheers and applause] >> greg: wow. in fairness, they were way over the line. >> oh, yeah. caller: santorum and paul chatted about polygamy. >> i think marriage should be between a single man and a single woman and that the federal government shouldn't be involved. i want less government involvement. i don't want the federal government having a marriage police. i want the states to deal with it if they have to, if they need to. sounds to me like represent paul would say that polygamous marriages would be okay. and it is not beyond reality, ron, it's exactly what is being offered in other states and being litigated in our courts, which is how gay marriage came about, as we see here in the state of iowa, where seven justices forced gay marriage on the people of iowa. >> fun fact. ron paul has kept every frisbee that has landed on his roof.

it may explain the debt ceiling. >> if you were president, you would have vetoed that bill? >> i'm not going to eat barack obama's dog food. caller: i would. if the debate were judged on nontardiness, michelle lost by a landslide. >> welcome back to iowa state university. our next round is a lightning round before we get into foreign policy and national security. are we actually missing a candidate on the stage? we are. she'll be right back. congresswoman bachmann. there she is. that's okay. okay. there we go. >> it happened with kucinich last time but they couldn't see him. >> he was there. >> greg: let's go to cat eating pancakes, c.e.p. your thoughts on the debate.

not so much eating as licking. totally inaccurate. andy, welcome to the panel. >> thank you. >> greg: what did you make of the debate. >> i thought pawlenty and bachmann had a great moonlighting vibe. i want to know what happened afterwards. pawlenty should never ever again try to be funny. i was upset that other than mitt romney not a single candidate pledged not to eat barack obama's dog food. so i can only assume they would eat barack obama's dog food. >> greg: i think that's a fair conclusion. if this were a football game, who scored the most baskets. >> i would say that mitt romney scored the most baskets by playing the best defense, greg. caller: fantastic. i'm confused. did you complain -- did newt complain too much about gotcha questions? >> i think it was really a fair

question. if you can't run a campaign, can you run a country? the main thing that stood out to me was all the anti-gay marriage talk. i believe that everyone should have that right. i just -- i understand g.o.p., you are not going to be in favor of t. but they were all illogical about it. mitt romney believes that state by state, you can decide health care, but not marriage. ron paul, mr. libertarian, he thinks government shouldn't get involved in marriage, but it should be between a man and a woman. and i forget my last one. they aural said stupid, inconsistent things. santorum -- that's what it was. santorum talks anti-gay stuff, but he says he's worried about the gays in iran. i just don't believe that. i don't know. >> you know who was most offended herman cane who as we know, quoted a donna summers song. caller: yes, yes. kevin, what candidate do brits like?

do they want to see obama elected again? >> that's a very good question. i have no idea what the general nation of britain would like to have. but here's the thing about the process. it's very different to the one in britain. i love the fact that you have so many people to choose from. there is nine, 10, 11 of them on the stage. and the obscurity of the questioning is most absurd thing ever. they asked this lady, michelle, would she be submissive to her husband if she became president? but didn't ask if that was sexually or in the kitchen? i love that comedy. i know it's not comedy because he's real and serious, you are picking the next president. >> think about the bachmann question, it was fair. she said a couple of years ago, she said the reason she got a post doctoralty degree in tax law was because her husband told her to. but she hates taxes and she thought, lthe lord says be submission. so i think it's a fair question

to ask. if you are going to be president, are you going to do what your husband tells to do. >> if she never said that, it would be sexist. but the fact that she has brought that up. >> michelle was late coming back from the break. doesn't that make her more adorable? >> absolutely. hia spunk in my step just watching her and she did it in very lady-like fashion. >> she was trying to parallel park. >> ohhh! >> greg: andy, that's a sexist comment. >> how dare you be so accurate? >> i think she's a horrible driver. >> you are both sexist and i demand written apologies on my desk monday morning. but he said, what she defines submission as being respectful. i looked that up in websters. it says submission is submitting, unresisting, humbling or obedient. >> and what the hell were you looking up? >> i looked up gotcha question.

gingrich is wrong about that. >> greg: i want to go to the grega log. >> saluting unfolded in england and many talking heads linked the violence to budget cuts. they left out a forgotten generation left without hope ors dreams. it should be no surprise to anybody who has listened to me rant about it. they are not as romantically disenfranchised as the politicians would have wanted. a millionaire's daughter, a hair dresser or a lifeguard to be disenfranchised. but my favorite one -- the organic sleave. [chuckles] >> greg: using pesticides on vegetables is evil. maybe they used additives in their appetizers and deserved. it my second favorite. a female ambassador to the

olympics. maybe throwing rocks at cops helps with the shot put. but reality trumps the media. there is no romanticism, only petty selfishness, accelerated by opportunity, greed and call usness. we can't even look at our criminals without laughing -- behold! >> i have done this basically, to provide for my family. i got some stuff for my son. >> yeah. >> i got some stuff for me. tosome clothes. >> you are 16 years old, but you are getting stuff for your son? >> yeah. i have to get some stuff for him. >> what did you get for him?

>> greg: that was sir ben kingsley. >> really. >> greg: kevin, you're here because you are british. >> yeah. >> greg: i want to direct a couple of questions to you. >> please, do. please, do. >> greg: what was your take on what went on this week? >> has england changed? is there something about the culture? what was your gut? >> i was horrified. i am deeply embarrassed. i think most people are deeply embarrassed. they can blame the socioeconomic downturn as to the main reason they are may having this way. it comes down to hooliganism, thuggery and a broken, feral state, where we have created an underclass, in our advanced democratic society that has been forgotten and is coming out of the woodwork to cause anarchy. caller: russell brand had an article in the guardian and he

said -- he laid the blame on commercialism that the kids want cool things and it's a competition to be cool and this is why they might have looted. do you buy into that? >> he's a champagne swilling, middle-class [bleep] [laughter] >> it's all very well and good, rich people like him, siting there explaining that it comes down to the fundamental product of capitalism and consumerism. it is not true. lack of discipline in schools, the breakdown of the family unit, religion no longer controls, the state no longer controls, parents are slack, the schools are loose. the state has to intervene and bring back a backbone of discipline, pride, dignity, honor and national identity. >> kevin don't you think that the show "my favorite looter" airs every week had something to do with it. >> i had a comedy role in that one. i could not disagree more. television is a huge impact t.

will always be down to the visual interpretation of what these youngsters see. but it comes down to primarily for me, discipline. >> what do you think about guns? should cops be armed? >> look -- guns -- this argument could go on forever. you are protected by an amendment. the united states has a much more prolific and loose understanding of firearms because it works for you better. britain can't retrospectively go down that route and equip all of our military -- military? >> greg: cops. >> with firearms. they are not needed in this situation. what was needed was a robust approach to the police. they should have used plastic bullets and batbatterring rams and beat the [bleep] out of these kids. if an 11-year-old gets the crap beaten out of them in the street, they will think twice. if you can do the crime, you can do the time. >> they probably won't think

ever again. >> hey, so what. >> greg: why was the rioting in some places and not others? >> well, in places, if you rioted, the people would have come out of their houses and kicked the [bleep] out of the rioters. it's a population spike. inevitably, they were in largely condensed area, high rise. it was well organized with social media that kids can react to and that made it prolific and spread quickly. and it made it difficult for policing to be an effective method of controlling and kettling all of these thugs. but some areas, they would have never tolerated this. the majority of british people are appalled at this abhorrent behavior. >> greg: i like the way you use kettleag a verd. that was awesome. i am going to drop that into my conversation. it won't work for me because i'm -- stupid. okay. one more question and then the panel. why did it all stop? what made it stop?

>> okay. one of the main reasons they are proscuting nearly a thousand people and locking most of them up. word gets around quickly. oh, [bleep], i'm going to go to prison. maybe the plastic screen and the new sneakers wasn't so good. and the policing became more effective. they have managed to bring in control and isolate areas and beat the [bleep] out of them. the third reason, i am sorry, ben, you are going to have to edit a lot now. the third reason is that we got bored. people took the streets back. society reclaimed its areas of residential and commercial property. caller: could this happen here? >> it could happen here. it has happened here in the past. i hope it never dis. i find it disturbing to find out that there are privileged people among the rioters. it's a terrible thing. but i think the sawmpltion is that people are so down and out that this is their last resort. so it find out it's someone stealing diapers for their baby

and someone next to them is a millionaire's daughter, stealing sunglasses. >> >> greg: i love the looter who said he was stealing for his kid and the reporter goes how old are you? 16. that's an amazing story. bill, you can't loot because you have no place to store t. would you have looted? >> people would take the child that i have. i'll tell you how tv did play a role in it. what type of stores that didn't get touched -- this is true -- bookstores. they didn't even take "looting for dummies." but my question is this -- my question is this: why is someone with an extengessive hand-to-hand combat background with lots of wartime experience here when he should be across the pond, defending his countrymen's storefronts. you, sir, are the real monster. caller: wow.

>> i am going to get a pen in the eye. caller:y and, you have never been to england. but you are watching season five of dr. who. why dak this happened? >> the cybermen are behind it. from what i have been reading it seems like it's the dollics. caller: yes. >> apparently, from watching dr. who, every couple in england is interracial and i am now seeing that that is not the case. and the bottom line, the people who are doing these things, it is not stealing bread for their sister. we have to stop romanticizing it. they are looters. >> greg: we have to move on. coming up, how do you deal with creepy old men trying to talk to you in bars? anna gilligan has a new book, shut your pie hole. but first... well, finally, the answer to the question nobody asks.

why is bill trying to grow a beard?

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>> is it an error not to fear terror? on the heels of the 9/11 10th anniversary, a new poll found that worry over a new attack is at the lowest point since 2001. a survey reports 49% of all residents expressed concern about terrorism and 42% were not too worried and 17% were not worried at all, which adds up to a lot of people who are not worried. and a full 53% felt their lives had returned back to normal, in spite of the premiere of keeping up with the kardashians. and also taking it in stride, super relaxed owl.

>> that's weird. caller: anyway, andy -- >> i got excited about the owl. >> that would be our first red eye ever. >> she's pretty sure the owl was dead. and she's upset. caller: andy, is this drop in fear a good thing or the worst thing in history? >> i think new yorkers were answering this question honestly, but not correctly. but i think that in the 10 years since 9/11, we have sort of gotten used to a new normal. so people say, oh, their lives are back to normal and everything. i think they really do mean that in the sense they are going on with their lives. but the normal now is not the normal that it was before 9/11. so, again, i think they were honest but not correct. >> greg: taper talking about a new, different normal. >> exactly. and you had only 17% said they weren't worried at all.

if you put in the -- what was it -- not too worried -- that's a little worried? >> greg: that's true. when was the last time you were scared? >> i break into a cold sweat every day on the train. any time anyone looks mildly suspicious, i walk five cars down because i figure i will be safe. >> greg: so you profile? >> i do. i watch for all the signs. i think this is misleading. 49% of people being worried is a lot of people. that's 1 percentage shy of half the people. caller: but one out of two isn't worried. maybe they are the terrorists. >> i don't know what to say to that. but i was hoping for a diverse set. when they killed osama bin laden, they found evidence he was planning an anniversary attack and he was not alone. caller: that osamma was so nostalgic. >> you look at the people on the subway. my guess is have you a lot of

suspicious-looking men around out subway and it has nothing to do with terror. >> you don't seem suspicious of anyone else in the car. you go away. >> well, they are not a concern. >> the guys in overcoats. that's different. caller: kevin, after the terror attacks in london in the last century, do you guys worry about anything at all anymore? >> yeah, of course. i think we share the same concerns as you guys. see, the problem with public opinion is that it's usually wrong. people can't be trusted for their opinion because they are often inherently stupid. the fact of the matter is, we are more at risk now in our major cities than we have ever been, given retaliatory retribution. there are a lot of powers at play. islamic fundamentalist groups. commando-style raising chemical attacks are almost certainly part of the future. we have to stay vigilant.

i don't think because girls will be creeping on the tube. that's the form of vigilance, i advise all women -- i am talking about a vigilance that is outward in adapting to the future. >> we have gotten used to the fact in new york that there are armed soldiers in penn station. 10 years ago, there were not armed soldiers in penn station. now it's normal. what we go through at the airport is normal. greg, the government likes this. this is preparing us for the one-world government. they get you used to taking your rights away and then next thing you know, they are flying helicopters over your head. >> bring on the revolution. caller: ron paul -- hanging out in the infa fo-wars chat room. bill, when was the last time you were mistaken for a terrorist. >> now they call me a shaggy

terrorist, but i'm working on t. this study is why i love this city. unless -- don't you get a person to walk faster, a deal on a service, new yorkers don't care about you and they don't care about the world around you. the one thing new yorkers do care about is stupid terrorist who is can't make themselves a martyr. caller: that was the point i was going to make before we move on. it's a testament to the hard work of the men and women who prevented the attacks. if the times square bombing had gone off, we wouldn't be having this discussion. i agree the next step are things like that. you will see it happening in crowds. it's impossible, almost impossible to do an airplane. they are looking at crowds, at penn station. >> shopping malls. >> the longer we go without attacks, the more likely one is. i don't think they will decide to give up on us. >> you are bumming me out on a friday night. i had a wonderful weekend planned all through new york. caller: going to penn station.

>> i love the penn station. >> i read an article about how to spot a terrorist, he wears weather inappropriate clothing clothing -- [laughter] [overlapping dialogue] >> not a winter coat. >> in other words, you are a second human. >> greg: do you have a comment on the show? email us. tone's half thyme report is sponsored by waterslide, designed for warm-weather use, often varying in riding method and style. thanks, waterslide. hi, anne.

how are you doing? hi, evelyn. i know it's been a difficult time since your mom passed away. yeah. i miss her a lot, but i'm okay. wow. that was fast. this is the check i've been waiting for. mom had a guaranteed acceptance life insurance policy through the colonial penn program, and this will really help with the cost of her final expenses. they have been so helpful and supportive during this time. maybe i should give them a call. i really could use some more life insurance. is it affordable? it costs less t that's pretty affordable, huh? less than 35 cents a day? that's less than the cost of a postage stamp. so, you said it was guaranteed acceptance? yes. it's permanent coverage with guaranteed acceptance for people ages 50 to 85.

there's no medical exam or health questions. you can't be turned down because of your health. it fit right into mom's budget and gave her added peace of mind. you should give them a call or look them up online at cpdirect.com. i definitely could use more coverage. i think i will give them a call. man: are you between the ages of 50 and 85? or know someone who is? do you think that quality insurance at an affordable rate is out of your reach? for less than 35 cents a day, you can get guaranteed acceptance life insurance through the colonial penn program. you cannot be turned down because of your health. there are no health questions or medical exam. your rate will never go up, and your benefit will never go down due to age-- guaranteed! these days, the average cost of a funeral is over $7300, and social security pays a death benefit of just $255. don't leave a burden for your loved ones. since 1994, over 6 million people have called about this quality insurance. there's no risk or obligation. call about the colonial penn program now.

you'll be glad you did.

>> welcome back. let's find out if we have got anything wrong so far. hey, joe! >> hi, greg. how are you? caller: great! good to see you. >> good to see you, too. just a note to the viewers at home. i was supposed to be on the panel tonight. at the last minute, i got an email from the crew and they said, joe, we need you to be the ombudsman because we need andy on the panel to talk about the debates. that was the show's nice way of saying, joe, you're too stupid to talk about the debate.

so just sit in the little room and do your dumb jokes. >> greg: no. i knew andy had watched the debate. i was pretty certain you didn't. >> i didn't. [laughter] >> joe, in fairness, it's because we thought you were too stupid to talk about the debates. >> okay. anna. >> yes? >> couldn't agree with you more that romney's stance on homosexuality is contradictory. he said, i have no problem with homosexuality, i just have a problem with homosexual acts. which is like saying, i don't have a problem with ice cream sundaes, i just hate ice cream. you asked if all libertarians should be for personal choice? >> right. >> but that would mean that libertarians were for personal liberty. i don't know what the word liberty has to do with libertarian. so i don't know if you are right about that. i'm confused.

i don't know. i think their stance is that government should stay out of it. >> yeah, yeah. >> can i jump in here? >> sure, andy. >> this gets to what anna was saying, what ron paul was saying, he said that he personally believes that marriage is between a man and a woman but that the government should stay out of it. that's consistent, libertarianwise. >> i didn't know you were ombudsman tonight, andy. >> i thought he was making the point that marriage should be between a man and a woman. >> romney doesn't care what anybody does. >> i apologize if i misrepresented him. but the rest of them had really bad logic. >> ron paul, 2012. >> everybody was wrong. >> greg, you said that newt was getting pissy with baier. >> yeah? >> he was just getting pissy because his name is newt. >> bill, looking like a young

colonel sanders this evening? [laughter] >> that is so true. [laughter] >> bill, you did a correction i. this is my grandfather's coat. how dare you?! >> bill, you did a correction on the word submissive. i have to say, i am not surprised at all that you knew what the real definition of submissionsive was. what else? oh, andy, you said pawlenty shouldn't try to be funny ever again? >> yeah? >> absolutely. i wanted to know, would you please make that same vow? [laughter] >> the great thing about that joke is that the minute you started saying it, i had no idea that's where you were going. >> predictable. i'm safe.

>> i'll stop if you start. >> let's move on to the riots. here's the thing... you know, i know they are having trouble busting some of the rioters, but they are not that hard to find. look for reporters interviewing people with hoods and bandanas around their face. also, kevin, you said that russell brand is a middle-crass, champagne-swirling [bleep] -- you are right. you are right. he's not really struggling like you are. a guy that can fly into the u.s. on a whim to do a show for free. >> actually -- actually -- i came here to do work. i am here at fox as an aside. you are going to get your facts right, joseph, i suggest you put a bit more research into this. >> all right. >> you know what the work he did this morning? sitting on my couch watching hostel and hostel 2. >> i didn't watch hostel 2.

i only watched hostel 1. >> because 2 would be excessive. >> you know what, i didn't like how many times he was pausing. >> that's it. >> do we need to go through this dvd collection? >> this colonel sanders jacket stains easily and red don't come out. >> greg, during this segment, you said that you were stupid? >> greg: yes! >> you are absolutely correct. caller: oh. >> nothing on that one? >> greg: no. >> i got no laugh. >> i thought that was an "a" bit. >> he might be stupid, but he is very slim. i like his new fatigue -- physique. >> by the way, bill claims he never has looted. i was drunk with bill and he looted my pants off.

>> we're the same size. >> anyway -- we have to move on here. the terror poll... the terror poll, anna is in a cold sweat every day and moves cars when she sees someone suspicious. that's true, she potted me and went to the next car, which was offensive. what else do we have here? anna, you said that we are-- the longer we go without an attack, the more susceptible we are to one. >> i think so. >> thanks for mentioning that on national television. >> i don't think they are really listening to me. >> all right. well, and you, you said we are used to armed guards at the train station. like have you gotten used to our visits having to be supervised? >> huh? >> get it -- they are -- never mind. >> you are sharing. >> i'm too smart for you. >> they're inappropriate.

okay. >> yeah, that works. >> all right. can someone -- >> i like him. be nice to him, everyone. >> he will come down to the newsroom and spank him in a minute if you don't start being a good boy. >> last one -- joe -- >> wait, your visits are supervised! oh. i don't get it. >> andy, andy... i just wanted to wish happy birthday to my favorite person on red eye tonight. >> go ahead. >> well, it was my birthday last week. i want everybody to know. happy birthday to me. >> back to you, greg. caller: thank you, joe. see you in a few minutes. always a delight having him here. >> coming up, gwyneth paltrow is dead... against serving wine that is not organic. you go, girl. but first, what's the real story behind competitive facial hair?

get ready to learn nothing, fans of bad reporting. rérésékérékéké>

>> did you know that competitive facial hair growing is an actual sport? with devoted fan base, groupies and athletes galore. luckily, the independent film channel knows about it and premiered its pack of hairy patriots as they journey from the national championship in oregon on into norway's international competition. behold the bearded beauty. red eye went to the reality show's premiere party to learn more and shave less. >> greg at the whisker awards premiere at the blind barber. in the spirit of the event, vinot shaved in over two weeks. not too shabby. hey, tom o'connor, what are you doing here? >> thanks, bill.

actually, greg said that your approach, like your beard is [bleep] so he sent me to make sure we didn't get laughed out of the joint. as a matter of fact, i tracked our progress over the last two weeks just to show everyone how much i beat you. >> bill, i don't know if we did so well. >> they asked me if i had mange. i'm 35 years old and five of those years i had gone through pubertie. >> we vey similar problem. we can't grow facial hair on our cheek. >> you and me? >> sweet ass kicker and this guy have been named in the same sentence. >> are you sure? >> tell me about the freestyle category. >> that has a lot to do with

hair spray and spending time and practicing. i use beer cans as rollers. >> big red -- where did that nickname come from? >> i don't know. people just call me -- they have called my beard big red. >> oh! i didn't notice. do you do beer pushups? >> you have to do a lot of cardio. like you would take care of soil. >> this is two weeks, what do we think? >> we know what you want. you are not going to grow big sideburns and that's fine. >> i can't grow them period. >> you have to pick the style that works for you. >> beard groupies -- are they plentiful and what are they like >> we are here with mike o'connor, no relation to myself, despite the resemblance. how do you think we did in the beard competition. >> you are great. you had a lot of stiff

competition -- my fiancee and my boss. >> and your beard coach. so if i were to get a beard coach, could i also have sex with her? >> she started as grooming me only and then all of a sudden, we show up to the nationals and she's like grooming everybody. >> let's be honest. a beard coach with benefits. >> absolutely. beard coach with benefits. how do i get one? >> have you to have the genes of a norse god, first of all. >> done. >> have you to look good. >> i think we got that -- >> sold. >> one out of two? >> this is going to be the best christmas ever. >> hairy christmas! >> tom, it's over. what have we learned? >> bill, i think we learned a very, very valuable lesson. that's that beards bring everyone together. >> clearly. >> ohhh. something tells me something

happened after that that we didn't know about. are you going to shave now? >> i don't know. i kinda like where i am going with this. it is not perfect. it's a bit see-through. but this is starting to happen right here and there is a reverse hitler here, this weird bald patch. >> >> greg: you look like the son of the native american in king of the hill. wait. was that asian? >> he was the son of big john. we grew up -- any beard growing tips? >> one guy said that at the risk of being too crass, he would not self pleasure himself because he believed that holding onto the tester ron helps him get a bigger, fuller beard. start growing a beard. >> and why yours is coming in so badly. >> not like that is going to happen. >> is it a crime to shave somebody's beard against their will?

>> no. i think we should do it. well done. >> greg: time for another break. and remember to check out the red eye podcast. to catch them, go to fox news radio and click on red eye. tonight, we talked about all sorts of things, including stuff like -- things that were important to us. louis c.k. show, we talked about. and my dople ganger gutfeld. >> my sister's on. >> when? >> i don't know. she played the perverted reporter on one of the first seasons.

>> a lot of card joy, no flour, no sugar. back by popular demand. time for a red eye, where are they now? surely other you remember this classic dance number. [techno music playing]. >> that was 2006. the shadow tail brothers were the first all-raccoon boy band. their signature dance moves made them an instant hit among tweets and would inspire three instructional dvds, their summer concert series sold out. but the pair drifted apart,

after the oiledder brother was cast alongside justin timberlake in chasing tails. soon after, the band broke up. younger brother kyle died -- dyed his hair and fell into a dark, sexual underworld, proitding explicit dances for cheap. [laughter] >> that's absolutely tragic. and you were laughing. >> you were laughing at his misery. >> it was the fact that the raccoon was grinding his genitals against a window. >> literally. how can you laugh? clearly -- his genitals against the window. >> you asked me and i told you. >> i want to see chasing tail. >> >> greg: i hope so. we have to move o. we have to close out with the postgame wrapup. i hope you have some jokes.

to see clips of recent shows, go to foxnews.com/redeye. f!

>> you can watch us saturday at 2:00 a.m., 11 p.m. pacific time and i'll see you monday on the five. a brand-new red eye returns on monday. >> hey, time to go back to joe for the postgame wrapup. hey, joe. >> hi, greg. i heard the snub before the last break. you know, greg, i come in here to do my best... >> greg: yes. >> if it's not good enough, i have nowhere else to go. i can't threat tope leave. but i try. caller: i thought you did a fine job. i was ribbing you, innocently. >> i like eye like when you rib me. okay. kevin, what's up, man?

what do you got for us? >> are you talking to me? >> that's why i said kevin at the beginning of the sentence. >> what's up? not a lot. what's up with you, buddy? >> nothing. >> you good? >> do you have anything you would like to say at the end here? >> good idea. talk about my charity. i have a charity, which splices specializes in looks after orphans in sierra leone and in the united states and the united kingdom. you can go to my web site, godlington.com and you can give money. or send us notes. >> okay. very nice. anna? >> hi, joe. >> anything you want to push, plug, meng? >> diane interview at sports illustrated that i think red eye viewers would be interested n. we discussed the swimsuit issue, coming out august 22, meet the boss