from anywhere in the world. oreilly@foxnews.com. name and town if you wish to opine. word of the day, old one, do not be a popinjay. if you write to us, headline it in the first sentence. let us know what is on your mind. we get thousands of e-mails we see a good line the first sentence, we break them out. thanks for watching. i am bill o'reilly remember the spin stops here because we are looking out for you. welcome to red eye. i'm greg gutfeld. official starter for this saturday's bryant park grant free. all vehicles will be painted orange and they will all be over the age of 18. let's go too andy levey for the pre-game report. >> get back to work.

president obama has solved our unemployment crisis. plus, we'll have highlights from wednesday night's republican presidential debate, as ron paul continues his march to the nomination. and a dutch woman is charged with stalking after calling her ex-boyfriend 65,000 types in one year, which is a shame because i feel like the 65,001 call would have been the charm. >> i don't go anywhere without sergeant fluffy. >> how are you celebrating teddy bear day? >> we are going to go out and then go home and cuddle. >> what show are you going to see? >> he wants to see sister act, but i fear it might be too racy. >> i don't think sister act is what you think it is. >> it is not like that thing in tijuana? >> no! it's a rollicking comedy about nuns, totally teddy bear friendly. >> we would never bring teddy bear to a musical. >> i thought sergeant fluffy was

your teddy bear. >> no. but i continue to confuse you but he is pretty hairy. >> he's hairy. >> no that's my alpaca. >> no, he's built. he built our bunk beds. he drank mimoseas and he just laughed. >> they did make a mean mimosa. >> go away. >> let's welcome our guests. our guest is so bright, the sun crank calls her at night, liz macdonald -- first time on the show. he's show sharp that nails sleep on a bed of him. it's national review kevin williamson, author of a fantastic book, available on amazon -- the river. for his birthday, we bought him a urinal cake. bill schultz. and dana played monopoly with

real hotels. new york observer and genius, dana vachon. and he's an insufferable nome, thrown in your home. >> today, the real estate section, house hunting in antega. the west indes island market plummeted in 2008, but it shows signs of rebounding. [singing]. >> that's antega creole for oceanside property never depreciates in value, don't you know? wow! have youinoid i talk like dana? >> yes, you do. >> greg: can his speech pull us from the breech? with the economy, the opposite of awesome, the president laid out his $447 billion plan to save the world n. a nationally televised address to congress, obama announced a program of tax cut, construction spending, employment and -- free koala

bears for all. but is the question whether in the face of an ongoing national crisis we could stop the political circus and actually do manage to help the economy? >> the question is whether in the face of an ongoing national crisis, we can stop the political circus and actually do something to help the economy? [applause] >> yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. but i want to know, is there anything controversial about this piece of legislation? >> there should be nothing controversial about this piece of legislation. everything in here is the kind of proposal that's been supported by both democrats and republicans. including many who sit here tonight. and everything in this bill will be paid for -- everything. >> so, in addition to the trillion dollars of spending cuts you have signed into law, is it a balanced plan that would reduce the deficit with additional spending cuts? >> in addition to the trillion dollars of spending cuts i have

already signed into law, it's a balanced plan that would reduce the deficit by making additional spending cuts, by making modest adjustments to medicare and medicaid and by reforming our tax code in a way that asks the wealthiest americans and biggest corporations to pay their fair share. >> fair share. so i'm wondering, should we pass this jobs plan? >> you should pass this jobs plan right away. pass this jobs bill! you should pass it right away. pass this jobs bill. you should pass it right away. pass this bill. pass this jobs bill. you should pass it, again, right away. which is why you should pass this bill right away. >> i'd like to pass that bill. >> right away, sir. right away. >> greg: i apologize. liz, welcome to the program. let me ask you, there was anything new there? and if there was, tell work? >> no, there was nothing new. we have seen these ideas, retreads, time and again from the president. we saw it in the stimulus bill

and in the december bill that pasts -- passed in 2010. these ideas have been out since the first term of president reagan. this president has added $4 trillion to the deficit. that's the equivalent of adding germany and italy to the deficit. which company is going to build a factory in an environment when they don't know what the taxes or regulations are going to be? when the government throws banana peels? that's the real issue. $2 trillion in cash on the sideline. there is consistently seeing the president do a bear market hug to do the cheap form of businesses to get the confidence to businesses. >> is it over, dana? >> i agree with a lot of this. if i invest in a business and buy a factory, that's a good business. but if i put a neon sign, that's a different use of the money. some of the stimulus we have seen, like jobless benefits or

putting teachers back to work, that's not a real investment in the economy. it might get you over an awful gap and that's an argument in the negative that we don't know. but i have trouble with the idea that the $2 trillion is want being put into the marketplace. facebook is a company that uses no new technology, costs you productivity and efficiency and will go public for $100 billion. >> wait a second -- >> because of barack obama. >> no, no, no. the president -- >> let me finish. >> the president moved to reform three big sectors -- health, financial and energy. businesses are saying, if you haven't read the bills, why should we move to hire. >> you ask facebook why they should get $100 billion, they will say there is no other good investment place. that's the problem. we don't have the next things yet. >> greg: there is no innovation. >> none. >> greg: very little. we are very behind.

i don't want to be behind. i want to go to the future. kevin, you are from the future, your spaceship is outside. what you can tell us? has he won the future? >> i'm afraid not. we have longer-term problems than what he is trying to deal with. we have a failed education system. we have a couple of trillion in housing equity disappeared. but spending monotransportation and bridges and schools -- if you look, our levels of spenting on transportation are at record highs. we spend a couple hundred billion a year. the level of debt for bond projects and capital campaigns, also at record highs. it is not like we have been spending the money. but what do we have to show for it? the infrastructure is crumbling after the money we have spent, somebody needs to be hanged. >> for the president, not just three months ago joked at the jobs council saying that the

shovel-ready jobs are not so shovel ready. and we have the fbi ratings the solar company that was supposed to be for clean tech industry. i am for fixing highway, especially i-80, which is like the blair witch project. >> personalidessing. >> why would you drive through pennsylvania? >> there is a real redundancy problem. his china comparison is not really honest. in china, you are building highways where there were none. that's not the same as adding a lane to i-95. we have i-95. >> have you driven in pennsylvania? it's a lot like china. no, that's not true. bill, before you say something, the outram of the speech is when obama asked to you up your game?! >> i may race to the middle and then i will have time to watch access hollywood. but this was too long. i am from the past. this jacket will tell you, 1977.

so the question must be asked -- what would jimmy carter do? we would take the trillions and invest it in peace and he would blame it on a rabid bunny. >> have you met kevin? >> yes. i was thinking of knop -- of janet napolitano. >> >> greg: i felt like i was at dinner with an ex, who wants to come back, so they are busy saying all the right things. look -- i -- you wanted this. you told me -- you told me you wanted these tax cuts and i'm giving them to you. so everything's good, right? and we can go back to having sex. >> yeah, that's true. and it's how a lot of presidents have been made. they learn on the job. so, you know, what he is doing is not working. >> do we really need a joint

session of congress when a lot of these ideas have been done in stimulus and other bills that the president -- and you know what bothers me is how the president said, i inherited this recession, right? biden has been around since the nixon administration and so has charlie rangel. and that's right. reid and pelosi have been around since the reagan era. >> greg: do you think the bipartisan thing is real? >> i think it's oversold. you can say republicans have supported this and democrats have supported this. if you have been in congress long enough, both parties have supported really, really dumb things and the fact they can agree on something isn't necessarily a good thing. look at no child left behind. you know it sucks. it's bad for the country and for the world. you know, the tax cut stuff will make the deficits worse. it is not paid for and this thing, i'm going to come back in a couple of weeks and let congress tell you how to pay for t. it's nonsenseical.

>> i like the obama analogy where he's out to dinner and trying to win me back. and boehner's looking back. >> who is jim demint? he was behaving like i would rather dive into a pool of live hair dryers. >> greg: barack obama was the new boyfriend who you took a chance on and... it didn't work out. now he's trying to come back. and you are saying, you know what? i have been seeing my old flame. before i lose myself in a ridiculous metaphor. this is more of a -- a personal thing. the earnest high voice. when he does that, does that strike you as phony? >> the whole thing was phony. in the pure definition of a contrivance. it was contrived. his whole stage is obvious. it's a contrived grand moment.

>> and the passion at the end. i feel for you. >> greg: i think he was told to kick it up a notch. he's not showing the passion. i think that's not his fault. i don't think that -- he probably doesn't like doing that. i don't know. >> look, keith oberman brings himself to the edge of tears every night. so we can hardly knock barack obama for getting his voice up a quarter. >> greg: let's move on. do i have time to do this story? just say yes into my ear? great. from a speech about jobs to people looking for one. presidential hopefuls gathered at the reagan library for a debate. the candidates took shots at the president and each other, arguing about social security and experience, whatever those are. but since that's been covered all day and you are probably drunk, as we are, we thought we would focus on the more important stuff, like this. >> experience, as you know, massachusetts ranked only 47th in job creation during your tenure as governor.

>> ah, look at that. he gets it. i love her. that's the first 5 minutes and she's yawning. random reference to galileo. and michele bachmann not doing much of anything. and ron paul being ron paul. >> okay, you can buy a gallon of gasoline today for a silver dime. a silver dime is worth $3.50. it's all about inflation and too many regulations. >> >> greg: i get it. you want to get a candy bar for a nickel. then there was this little bit of weirdness. >> i get more props to those navy seals who do the job. >> greg: did he give propes, i believe he meant props. and the moderator was trying to condescend. >> governor peri, a question

about texas. your state has executed 234 death-row inmates, more than any other governor in modern times -- [applause] >> have you struggled to sleep at night with the idea that any one of those might have been innocent? >> no, sir, vinever struggled with that at all. >> nice try. sorry you had to be surrounded by savages. nbc was trying its best to be politically correct and failing. >> i want to introduce another line of questioning with another colleague of ours, jose diaz balart from telemundyo. >> good to see you. i want to talk about a subject hafs very dear to the heart of president reagan. >> thank you. thank you very much. >> that's right, latino guy. ask the immigration question and get off. they don't even give him a chair. what is wrong with you? propos to you.

hey, kevin, who won? who lost? >> michele bachmann lost. >> greg: yeah. >> she's fading. she was pretty strong in iowa. and was sort of a tea party favorite, but rick perry seems to have scooped that up. it's a clicheed thing to say, it's a two-person race between romney and peri. romney came off marge neal better. he's a bit more articulate and presentable in the case. and people don't applaud for all of his executions. in people are more comfortable with that. some of us are more comfortable with that. >> cheering death. >> greg: no, they were cheering justice. >> a lot of those guys, with dna tests, that's a lot of executions. >> greg: that's justice. is there anyone there that floats your boat? >> i think that there is no more appetite for a texan cowboy. i think that -- so although i am pretty sure periwon in you look

at polls. in the room, i think that romney got beat up but emerges as a more viable candidate and neither one can beat obama. >> greg: romney surprised me. there was the point where he said obama didn't have a clue and it seemed like it came off the top of his head and it seemed like the most -- i don't know, normal thing he said. it wasn't prepared. >> i have heard him say that 40 times. that's not off the top of his head. >> greg: maybe it's because i don't watch debates. >> he didn't come across as the max headroom candidate. you're no mike did you -- mike dukakis moment there. >> i like huntsman. i didn't like the obama prompter line. i thought, come on, dude. >> greg: that's old. >> big time. i thought bachmann had great

hair and gingrich was gingrich-y. >> but that was manufactured or planned, going after the media, right? >> uh-huh. >> greg: but it's his new role. he's like the professor, protecting his students. >> gingrich has a hundred ideas a minute. he doesn't know which ones are good. keep him in a basement. let him talk, sort out the things and discard the rest and you incorporate it into your agend a. he's a great guy to be around. >> you know who valid a problem with that? locking him in the basement? >> greg: they would go down. was the telemundo thing as awful as it seemd? it seemed like they said, we have telemundo, they get the immigration question. >> they had a full courted of

mariachis. >> the stage hand asked for his papers. >> i read that, greg. we would never do that. >> rick perideported him. >> are they going to build a wall -- >> greg: so strange. weird. okay. coming up, where can you buy a top hat for your top hat? we discuss the new books, the things i buy because i sleep in a bed made of money. but first, controversy on toddlers and tiaras, we pick up on the fourth hour of the today show. this is amazing. g@

shi. we care about off hair?

california senate is concerning a bill to ease the burden of its baby-sitters. it's true, the measure introduced by a republican -- just kidding -- would require a 10-minute break for every two hours of brat watching and a 30-minute meal break after five hours on the job. it's called the domestic workers bill of rights act or debra and would require people who hire help to pay minimum wage and overtime and provide workman's comp. not address inside the so-called baby-sitter's bill, boyfriend visitation rights and fridge privileges or frivoligs. is the state treating baby-sitters like the babies they baby-sit? we asked spider cat to weigh in. >> wow.

>> keep that for the end. i need to look at that one time. that freaked the hell out of me. i think i might have wet myself. liz, is this going to kill the baby-sitting industry? >> yeah, you would think so. what killed me about that is that there is a provision in there that baby-sitters have to have 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep? what is wrong with the state of california? they are completely incompetent. what about uninterrupted telephone privileges? is that next? that's absurd. dent they have other things to do, like fixing the $20 billion sev sit. here's the thing about the 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. what about the house being on fire? that's cruel to the baby-sitter. >> is this government overreach, underreach or a mixture? >> you have the government saying more people need to have summer jobs and kids working and

in california, they are making that impossible for that to happen, making it more difficult. you start talking about lawn care businesses in the summer, fast food and the rest and it's very difficult for young people to get summer jobs and that's important for the work force. >> greg: that's why i started my own summer jobs internship. i realized there was a shortage for people who are over 18 or some of them are. i offer them lots of -- yes -- no, they don't make quaaludes. dana, if a baby-sitter gets a break, does that mean parents have to hire a backup baby-sitter? another baby-sitter has to come over from somewhere? >> i think this idea is ready for william morris. >> greg: the backup baby-sittener new york city. vi30 minutes at the vachons. bill, do you get a baby-sitter for your three illegitimate children? or are they on their own?

>> the baby-sitter is open air. call me if you are watching. if you have a phone. yeah. i mean, whoever came up with the phrase, too big to fail did not consider california. because this is a broken and failing, ungovernable place. the only thing it has going for that is the weather and it has wildfires and mudslides. >> the nanny laws, they have other, more important things to take care of. >> greg: the beautiful thing, you can call it a nanny state and it's not like derogatory. it is now a nanny state. exactly. the other thing, you know, i am struck by this, i have three older sisters, so i rarely experienced the joy of a baby-sitter, i wasn't related to. >> where are you going with this? >> no comment. >> who used to scratch my back and asked me if i was afraid if i wouldn't wake up in the morning? that's when i first fathomed death -- i was five. >> greg: who was the

baby-sitter? >> miss alice. >> this sounds like another book. go ask miss alice. that sounds like a book for you. >> greg: all right. comment on the show -- not other shows. don't send me comments on "the five." email us. still to come, the half-time report.

>> welcome back. let's find out if we have done anything wrong so far. hi, andy. >> how are you, greg? caller: i'm great. thank you for asking. >> let me get right into this speech. >> greg: please do. don't hold back. >> liz, you said there was nothing new in this bill and kevin, you said we are already spending money. i couldn't gree more with both of you. this bill is amazing. listen to this, small business tax cut, rebuilding america, roads, airport, schools, teachers going back to work, tax cuts for families, no more earmarks and no more boondoggles. this is all paid for.

this is un-[bleep]-believable. this bill is magical. >> greg: it is magical. it's a unicorn. i don't see why have you to swear. >> i am that excited. i am excited about everything going back to work. >> greg: i'm excited. you are excited. >> apparently you don't care -- except, wait. the a.p. did a big fact check and that everything in this bill is not paid for. >> greg: inaccurate? >> i guess that would be right. >> greg: i'm good at these games. >> forget everything i just said. >> greg: okay. >> i can tell you why -- do we care? >> greg: can we guess? >> yeah! >> greg: it's inaccurate because he lied? >> i don't like to use that word, greg. >> greg: yeah. >> all right. all right. basically, all federal taxes and other revenues are consumed in

spending on various federal programs already. and what obama is saying is that he's going to have to super committee find budget savings to pay for all of this. but there is no guarantee that any of this will ever happen. >> greg: all right. >> i will gladly pay you tuesday for a jobbie bill today. >> wimpy. dana, were you saying that facebook is the key to putting america back to work? >> you misunderstood that. i said that facebook is a ridiculous company about to be sold to ridiculous people for $100 billion. it's proof that the $2 trillion on the sideline doesn't have to stay there. there is a drought of ideas. >> i think i was close. >> you always are. >> yeah. greg, you said the speech reminded you of anex"" trying to get you back and the president was told to kick it up a notch. i agree. but i thought from a delivery perspective, it was really well done and it was much more candidate obama than it was

president obama? >> greg: here's the thing. i think the speech was approximately 37 minutes. >> something like that. >> greg: normally, he would have taken an hour. so he sped it up. i think it was an hour and they just sped it up. it was much faster. >> you think he actually took an hour? >> greg: it took an hour. but it felt like an hour. >> they sped up the tape. >> greg: yeah, they sped up the tape. i don't know. i gotta tell you, it seems forced. >> really? >> a.l. scott pound found it pidantic and overwrought. he issued a statement saying the american people are tired of president obama's empty rhetoric and failed policies and a bunch of other things. >> yeah. >> yeah. g.o.p. debate. kevin, i agree that michele bachmann lost because she didn't win. >> fair enough. yeah. i think that she's a bad, fading

candidate and she's not going to go anywhere. >> yeah. dane ayou said there is no more appetite for a texan cowboy, among republicans or americans? >> mong among americans. i hope republicans won't be misguided to run with one. i think it's become a cliche. >> you gotta give him this, he is doing his bit -- even though he doesn't buy the global warming thing, he is getting rid of a lot of carbon-based life forms. >> he is. >> bill, i can't believe i am saying this, but i'm with you, i thought hubtsman was really good. i liked his line to not sign a pledge. >> the reason why everyone likes him is because he's not crazy. he makes sense. he's normal. >> this is from bill. >> yeah. >> i contest it. the doctor pronounced me not crazy. >> also, hot daughters. >> yes -- yes!

an amazing family. >> i thought it was weird when he said he looks forward to negotiating with the chinese in chinese. >> that was ostentacious. >> kevin, you said gingrich would be great if you could lock him in the basement of the white house. i'm guessing newt's ego would not be a fan of that? >> probably not. that's why he can't be president. because he doesn't live up to his own ego and he can't plan and execute. he's not a natural executive. he's a great professor and ideas guy. it would be good to have him around. but it's nuts to think he would be president of the united states. >> he doesn't strike me as a behind-the-scenes kind of guy. >> in his personal life, i suppose. that was low. well -- >> greg: that's mind the back. >> that, too. >> yeah. california considering a domestic workers bill. liz, you mentioned that nannies will have to have eight hours of

uninterrupted sleep. if this passes, i'm moving to california and becoming a nanny. >> what happens in the uninterrupted hours of sleep? where are the kids? >> who cares? >> greg: you know what is even better? andy, if you become a nanny issue you could do a book called nan-dy. the stories of andy levey. >> that would make it worth being a nanny. by the way, liz, my theory, if this bill passes, it will disproportionately affect women in the workplace. a lot of people have nannies both both parents work. if you need 30 minutes off and one parent has to go home and it's probably going to be the mom, the way our culture is. i think some families will decide they don't need the second -- they would rather not have the second income or they can't afford to have mom work and go through all of this. >> i think you are right. it would require, as we have

been talking about, a backup nanny. which i think is david's next book. the backup nanny. >> why do liberals not want women in the workplace? >> that's a question for another hour. i know, listen, california again and again, does silly things like this. it's make work. it's bureaucratic make work. they have a budget hole the size of taheaty and they have to close it. that's not going to do it, passing nanny state laws in a nanny state. >> all right. greg, did you have something to say? >> greg: no, i was thinking about spider cat. >> were you? >> greg: yeah. >> yeah? ohhhh! >> greg: yeah! go, spidey. go! >> there he goes. >> that's pretty cool. i missed that the first time. >> greg: that was spider cat with my nanny. >> god. i'm done. >> greg: thanks. >> uh-huh. >> greg: so, how does one clean a solid gold jacusey?

we discuss dana vachon's new policy paper, you don't clean it -- you buy another. [laughter] >> greg: is monica lewinsky embarking on a new career? more importantly, what was her old career? that was mean.

life -- an everyday miracle of survival. today, the future of all life on earth hangs in the balance. what happens next depends on us. jason mraz: ♪ well, open up your mind and see like me ♪ ♪ open up your plans and, damn, you're free ♪ ♪ look into your heart and you'll find ♪ ♪ love, love, love, love ♪ listen to the music ♪ of the moment, people, dance and sing ♪ ♪ we're just one big family ♪ look into your heart and you'll find ♪ ♪ that the sky is yours ♪ so please don't, please don't, please don't ♪ ♪ there's no need to complicate ♪

♪ 'cause our time is short ♪ this is, this is, this is our fate ♪ ♪ i'm yours [ singing scat ]

>> should our youths dress like toots -- i.e., prost tour thees? >> what?! >> getting tarred after featuring a three-year-old wearing julia roberts' hooker outfit from pretty women. i don't get outraged -- well, i do. but this is amazing. the parents television council said, there is no question tv executives are compliceit in robbing these small kids of their childhood. this is like an onion scape. meanwhile, the girl's mother said, quote, no harm was done to

my child. at least i'm not forcing her into sports and getting my child injured like some parents. >> child services. >> greg: a true hero. we are going to discuss this in the lightning round...: light nipping round. >> greg: probably would laugh, but it creeps me out. >> it's utterly creepy and utterly offensive. this is the best argument for why some parents should get a license first before they are allowed to have children. to allow your baby to walk across in a prostitute outfit is reprehensible. i am really angry about it. >> >> greg: the scary thing, some little man, some others person might think she's a midget hooker. >> it's possible. what you really need is a three-foot-tall brass pole.

i mean [bleep], you don't have to be told not to dress a three-year-old to dress up like aer who. what is the matter with you? they should be horse whipped. >> greg: they should be horse whipped. >> i think the mother's argument has a logical validity. i don't know why five-year-olds should be able to play toddler football in a primal state i. they shouldn't. >> and the young girls shouldn't be able to experience the exquisite thrill of harnessing the reproductive power as a wage-making force. so, yeah, there is a logical point with the football. >> i don't know what you said. i have a headache. but we have pedophiles out there. we have pedophiles out there. it's disgusting. what is wrong with these parents?! >> greg: that's true. this show is probably not watched for the reasons we think. it's for that reason. >> pigs! >> greg: absolutely. >> it's disgraceful. >> this is financed by two american studies from kenyan

college. >> greg: bill, you taught on toddlers in the 70s. it scar you? >> no! look at me now t. brought me to the side-kickery stage i'm at. but it gets worse. speaking of richard gere movies, the next mom brought out a toddler looking like diane keeton in "looking for mr. good bar." >> shut that tv show down. i mean, that is -- [laughter] >> sex is a commodity. there is no getting around it -- >> not with children. >> you think it's a beautiful flower that grows on trees? >> greg: here's the thing -- there is nothing sacred in this country. he's being sarcastic. but, here's the thing. what does this woman do with the

photo-album -- let's say, you know, they are sitting around, she's home from college. oh, this is when i dressed you up as aer who. >> you see that baby walking across the stage going, what am i doing? >> who manufactures these clothes? >> in her early life, she wouldn't have ended up where she is. >> who is that? >> we will find out. >> it's the first gut tease. >> greg: amazing. oh! now i get it. >> that was a brilliant segue. >> greg: all right. is monica lewinsky -- [laughter] >> greg: is monica lewinsky making a career move? according to the national enquirer -- who knows what's true? she wants to get into public relations. she is unemployed, living in her parents' house, relying on her family's money. according to an unnamed source, i'm not going to you, dane a.

monica's self esteem is at an all-time low. >> that little girl looks pretty proud of herself. >> greg: have you to feel bad for her? >> monica lewinsky eye feel bad for both of them. monica is a victim of five overlapping hypocrisies. derided by those and betrayed and here, she wants to join the press that has ruined her ability to be anything original or uunique. >> greg: it is not like she got worse -- we got worse. she becomes sympathetic because we have been so awful and not letting her go on with her life. >> the media heads attacked her. you know who abandoned her in feminists. women abandoned monica lewinsky. when she tries to ride a bicycle, photographers try to chase after her and take pictures of her rear end. leave her alone. >> i thought i was the only one. >> yeah, right. >> greg: usually, i get rid of

them. but it doesn't stop them. do you think this is real? i am assuming this is kind of real? >> yeah. the great thing about waking up and seeing a monica lewinsky link on the drudge report. i felt like i was back in college. >> if i were monica lewinsky, the last career i would go into is anything that says public. she's like the basket case of public relations. she did the worse public relations for herself than anyone in her generation. >> no, she didn't do any. she became a recluse, even from the point of the scandal of the clinton scandal. >> when have you sex with the president of the united states, you are doing public relations because it's going to come out. >> no, you are not. schayes 23 years old. >> she has gotten -- [overlapping dialogue] >> she had a makeover. she needed to have a physical phoenix moment. if she had grown up to be hot -- >> monica lewinsky, leave her alone. >> greg: i have to move o. the big mistake is, why do women who

are psuedocelebrities always go into handbags? it never works out. people who are good at making handbags make handbags. >> or face creams. >> if you understand why men dream of being astronauts, you understand why women want to be handbag designers. >> the male chauvinist club. >> it's a freudian society. i think each is equally bizarre. >> she should only hope to be bare foot and pregnant. >> greg: i have to take a break. now, watch me do something for a few seconds.

i got an egg a candy necklace an orange a band-aid a stamp helium i got a mustache [pop] lipstick

>> if i'm topic of the night. a judge is dharj charging a 42-year-old woman for stalking after calling her ex-boyfriend 65,000 times in one year. that works out to 178 calls a day, 7.4 an hour, one call every 8.1 minutes. i love math. you gotta admire her dedication. >> i would rather leave my

personal life... yeah, people are crazy. what do you do? some people are nuts. change your phone number. you know? get a restraining order. she's crazy. >> dana, has this happened to you? >> only with the ron paul campaign. i gave him a hundred bucks a few years ago. he wouldn't go away. >> i am surprised they gave up that easily. liz, what do you make of this? >> i am wondering what calling plan she had? here's the thing. dimore math. she was calling for 135 days out of the year. straight. that's what it comes out to. so what was she doing? do men really think women are stalkers when they hear stories like this? do you all think that women are deranged? >> i think she's a stalker if she's still there in the morning. >> i condemn that. >> so do i,. >> greg: i condemn your laugh, bill. >> no! >> greg: if you owned a phone, you would do the same thing to

howie mandel. >> i would. but we are condeeming her. but she's a fiery inferno of im pestuousness. in high school, her nickname was the dutch oven. >> bill... it doesn't work. >> i was trying to think, oven? >> i heard she was trying to get her money back for the dates they had taken and shared expenses. >> that's interesting. >> they're dutch. >> very good. >> we are going to close things out from andy levy.

>> see you back here at 5:00

p.m. eastern time. and i'm on the "the o'reilly factor". hey, andy, wrapup? >> how are you? >> hey, dane ahow's your illegitimate child? >> he's pretty pissed off. >> sorry. kevin, you getting hate mail? >> speaking of 65,000 phone calls, if you want to hear a bunch of 21-year-old guys, try the cover story about the ron paul story on national review and be unflattering. they are the worst children. >> i know. liz, what are you working on? >> tomorrow, we are doing treasury -- later today, the treasury department, tracking