me, but a bearskin rub and back rub should take care of that. now to andy levy for a pre game report. andy, what's coming up on tonight's show? >> our top story, he is not running, except he is not running, but he might be running. plus, an actress from the show time series "the l word" was kicked off a southwest airlines for kissing her girlfriend. stick around to see if we have video. and new tv in a prison? the outrageous story that will outrageously outrage you straight ahead. greg? >> happy gwenyth paltrow's birthday. >> she is truly america's sweetheart. >> and britain's sweetheart, greg. >> she is the world's sweetheart, andy. >> she is. everybody is nuts about -- well, i can't do it, greg. >> why, what's wrong? >> gwenyth paltrow is a monster, greg. >> what do you mean? >> did you hear what she did? >> what? >> she fired her gardener because at her birthday party

she was doing an impression of brad pitt saying, what's in the box? >> that seems like harmless fun. >> right? i guess it was i can making her wife, chris martin cry. >> i was never a fan. >> you used to play fan "creep" a lot. >> that's radiohead. >> the gala go brothers. >> i listen to circus music in a closet. we are about done. >> what's in the box? >> let's welcome our guest. she's so hot that solar panels are now called patty panels. and they actually work. it is not like the other ones. that was a political commentary. i am here with fox newschannel anchor patti ann browne. if jokes were clams he would be clammy. it is jesse joyce, writer and comedian. his latest comedy cd is

fantastic. he stinks of self-published pamphlets, bill schulz. and his voice is smoother than a kashmir thong, john gibson, host of the syndicated radio program "the john gibson show" weekdays at noon eastern. he is ain shebt and crude and here in the nude, good to see you pinch. >> today in the science section, sweet poison is being used to lure and level africa's malaria population. that was the pet name we had for john gibson's book. smee tasted good -- she tasted good going down and found her way when there. give that tramp my worst. >> wow. >> greg? >> all right. he is sticking to his guns and his buns and refusing to run.

no more getting misty for a man named christie. that is chris chris stey who many were praying would jump into the presidential race. but he always insisted there was no way to run. and despite rumors and reports he was reconsidering his decision, it seems he was being honest all along. jerk. on tuesday morning one of the better ledgers voted christie's brother, todd, it is always todd and said he was sure the portly politician wasn't going to run. and sources also told fox news on tuesday that christie was going to sit this one out, and then events like his speech earlier at the regan library were scheduled for months and had nothing to do with a bid for the presidency. meanwhile in other more fun christie news, they blocked a $420 tax credit that was going go to the construction company behind "jersey shore" a show he says, quote, does nothing more than perpetuate misconceptions about the state and its citizens. you know who doesn't perpetuate misconceptions?

floppy puppy. >> puppies can't jump. i think we solved that problem. john, does all of the speculation stem from basic to dissatisfaction over the current crop of candidates? >> christie saw rick perry explode and said "i don't want that to happen to me, so i will take a bow." >> it is hard to run for president. we let that other guy get in easily. >> he is the governor of a liberal state.

he was booed at a tea party debate. he realizes, i have to do like romney did. i have a bunch of terrible positions, but if i spend years succeeding -- suck ny g up to them, they will forget. >> are you bummed he is not running? think of the great material. >> i am not bummed. you know who i think is not bummed is the white house decorators who now don't have to go to the white house storage and grab all of the taft administration furnts and dust all of that off. you know how heavy the reinforced executive chair s. >> you are saying this because they are a large man. i understand that, jesse. >> i am going to miss -- i would love to have a large man in the white house. i don't want a president that appears on "men's health." i want him to be the jolly, larger than life character.

>> a health risk. >> they say you can be very healthy and overweight, bill. >> really? well i did read that in "men's health." >> pab, what do you make of this? do you think he is not run ?g -- running? since this was written there is another thing saying he is taking a fresh look. what do you think? >> it would be bizarre if he lied to his brother. his brother said, no, i'm telling you, he is not running. he wouldn't lie to me. >> have you immediate todd? >> no, but he is out there. >> he's out of control. todd christie, i've got stories. i have never met him. >> oh, well, he is involved in the whole republican -- >> it would be a great picture to see the skinny obama and the big christie up there debating each other. >> did you call him crispy? that would be a great nickname. >> you were thinking of the krispy kreme. not nice. >> i agree. it would be a terrific debate.

>> what a contrast. >> a big, tftian character and the skinny academic. you have the telprompter and the guy who calls you buster. you know he will call you buster when he gets mad. >> they would have to wear the little hats. >> what more do you need? >> she a strong character. >> when i was preparing for the show, he was tweeting his speech. it was sentence by sentence. that's what you do when you tweet. why would he be doing that? if he is not thinking of running, why do that? >> he had an assistant who was board. he told them to do that. i assume that's it. the fact of the matter is he is not shying away from the

press he gets because he might run. >> what do you think the source of the rumors are? >> all of the donors who want him to run, bill crystal, he says it is pathetic, but nonetheless, they want somebody else there other than mit and perry. >> i was getting it down to jeremy irons. it would deflect some of the attention off him. >> i was unaware he got the u.s. citizenry. interesting. >> maybe i'm wrong. >> what about his evil twin? >> he would have died after "the lion king." >> i think it speaks to an issue with the republicans. they need to study the democrats and how they galvanize around obama. it was the perfect progressive appealing candidate for their base and the media. right now the republicans are worried they don't have that

shining star. >> who would the republicans have that would be historic like obama? >> marco rubio. >> may not be his time yet. >> obama? >> people did that once. you think they want to do it again? >> i don't know. >> thin raise may guy? >> i just think that's what the republicans are looking for. let's move on. i am board by this story. did she have to deplane for kissing a dame? and would she have been banned if she trenched a man? i speak of a he's bean actress, are there any other kind, who said she was escorted off a southwest plane for kissing a girl. a flight attendant told liasha and her unidentified gal pal that other passengers complained about their affection. now haley who starred in "the l word" is calling for a boycott on, wherever, twitter.

writing, "discriminated against by southwest air. flight attendant said it was a family airline and kissing was not okay. and this is an out rage. i demand an apology. hate is not a family value. >> have i proof otherwise. and since when is showing affection to someone you love illegal? and boycott southwest air if you are gay. they don't like us. southwest says haley was approached based on behavior and not gender. on their website they are the official website against the gay and lesbian defamation. 12eu8 ahead -- still ahead, how southwest feels about robot gymnasts.

>> it better not replace the real gymnasts or i will be lonely. jesse, thanks to twitter, the stories of celebs getting kicked off planes or getting in these conflicts are becoming more and more prevalent. doesn't it make them seem less sympathetic. they only go on there to wine about the crappy service they got at at restaurant or at budget rental car. >> i see what you are saying. when i am angry, the last thing i am going to say, how do i fit my thoughts into 140 characters? must concisely change the letter two to the number two. the real problem is flight attendants. f them forever. i said this before, but they started to become the staord prison experiment. absolutely they could get away with it. they are kim jong-ils of the sky. you two gross me out.

you are too fat. pull up your pants. >> don't you travel? >> just agree with me. guards remove him. >> they are up in the sky trying to do a job. they were confronted with a number of complaints. >> do we know that for sure? >> i am taking this from the same report i get everything from which is bill. he was telling me this 10 minutes ago. pab, this has staggering implications. probably not though, but it has he's bens in it -- lesbians in it. do you think it will hurt southwest or is it about nothing? >> what should hurt them is the whole mystery about the writing on the bottom of the plane. i think they have bigger fish to fry, but it is inappropriate and they should do what most members of the mile high club do, use the

restroom. >> they found the arabic symbols what they meant. it was lesbians rule. >> mystery solved. okay, i still believe -- my heart tells me this is exaggerated. >> this is so dangerous for me. >> because you fly on southwest. >> well, i am just saying you can get in trouble here, but is it wrong for me to smell a slight wiff of public relations effort here? >> has she brn -- been in the press at all lately? >> that's a good point. >> a whole segment on "red eye." >> and i think she just signed a five-year deal because of this. >> bill, southwest is the official airline of glad. that's like their get out of jail card, right?

>> it is, and you know it wasn't going to be virgin. you know exactly what happened. it wasn't kissing. they went to the airplane bar and got lubed up on wine and got to their seat and went to town on each other. if would have offended customers if it was two guys or a guy and a girl. there is just tons. sthaz where drunk people with limited altitude do. >> that's true. it doesn't matter the orientation. people act weird when they are drunk. i have to sympathize with the flight attendants, if people are complaining they have to do something. >> she denies -- southwest had several complaints and when the flight uh 10 department told me she was escorting me off, she never said anything about complaining. >> and that tweet about the family value, please?

i don't know what kind of family like you have. >> meet me at thanksgiving. >> it is the only value we have. it is the one we cling to, actually. from lesbians displeased to thelma or louis. for a week now wall street hosted a hundred or so smelly squaters protesting corporate greed, and it is also hosting sim robinson's fore. -- mother. susan saw ran den graced the greasy gang with her eyes on her way to catch a flight to italy. she was on her way to the airport, and she thought she would stop by. the 64-year-old said it was pa way to get, coat, educated. did you find out what this motley crew's ultimate goal is? >> i don't know yet. >> there you go. are you clear as to what they are asking for? >> i can't speak for the group about what they specifically are asking. you would have to ask them.

>> well, you are no help. meanwhile, many of the younger demonstrators responded with, quote, who is she? for more let's go to the new york bureau reporters, terry and gary. are there anymore protests planned for tomorrow. those aren't reporters. you did that again. >> i knew you would look. >> you tricked me. >> i tried to get a tie on them. >> you were in the green womb and agreed with everything susan said. >> i don't know what they are up to and why they are doing it or who does. we are against money or rich people or capitalism. is there anything more predictable than she showing

up at the event. and i guess she is making a movie about underground which makes her doubly predictable. jesse were you surprised by her appearance? >> no, to little portland, oregon as i like to call it, it really is. i think susan sarandon spreads her activism a little thin. brad pitt was mad because they dent trike him. he has them. he does stuff. she comes out. you want me to play bongos until wall street turns itself in? i thought i was supposed to reinstate the government so chaz bono could be pared? >> what do you want from me? you ask too many things. >> pab, good point. what gets other people to join

in, albeit their twilight years. >> 64 is not old. >> it is the new 60. >> she livens it up. i hear she got everybody there and had them take a jump to the left and a step to the right. >> she was so amazing in "rocky horror." i had the hugest crush on her. it was the whole movie. scpie gio and they were good. there are two. >> began nick differences between susan sarandon. >> that's a tough one. >> google image. >> that was in 1975 and she was beautiful. >> you are missing michael moore stopped by. i don't know if you heard his quote, but they are pissed

because they had to take out all of the furniture. coming up, is being adorable a full time job? we discuss patti ann's brown. yes, it is now drop dead you ugly freak. what did irish formers -- farmers have against rhianna? what don't they have against her?

if only we have a spare earth or two. they declared tuesday earth overshoot day. the day when the planet goes into eek logical debt. according to the global foot print network, i get all my news from them, september 27th marks the day the bar gnaw will kas on the globe, ie

humans, have used a third of the earth's productivity. quote, that's like spending your annual salary three months before the year is over and eating into the savings year after year. pretty soon you run out of savings. i would know. you see humans depend on the earth for crap like fuel, clothing and onion rings. to ep could up we would need 1.3 to 1.5 earths. who is the worst offender when it comes to this debt? mark wahlberg. no, it is the u.s. the french news agency reportsthat if everybody uses the average energy as an american it would take five earths. in other words, usa. usa. usa. you know how it goes. i love the earth and all god's creatures, especially this one.

>> an ugly looking cat. >> how did you observe the world ovehoot day? your usual manner? >> i bought a suburban. they want a billion people to die. or all of america to get very poor. i stopped paying attention to them. >> now you pay less attention. >> even less. >> it is brimley's birthday. i sprung that on you. i don't expect you to have a response. >> his birthday?

sure, yeah, that's more important. when you think about it, look, what we are talking about is that we are going to lose a couple months at the end of the world. >> if you see the end coming, it is not like we are going to go like, we can chill out 400 years ago, and we just discovered people were a little more true. >> they say by 2030 we will be using double the earth's capacity. ant the odds that -- aren't the odds that we will just find another earth? >> yes, i guess that's why the space exploration. i think we need to threaten a planet terry shut down it is some kind of debt thing. >> are you a licensed mathematician and a jerk. what do you make of their math? >> i do appreciate that i can add and subtract.

>> i will be 55. they are not marketing it very well. earth overshoot does not inspire me with dread. and the whole analogy that you are using your paycheck three months before the end of the year? that's awesome. i wish i could get to that point. that makes my debt ridden life less so. that's great. >> by the way, the acro anymore dash acronym would be wad. if you got them in a room and got them drunk it would be, wouldn't it be great if we poisoned and the earth could be saved? >> could we bring bush back and have a war? >> i just wanted to point out that 10,000 years ago what we depended on for food and clothes were mammoths, and they are no longer a resource.

you ever hit a deer with your car? ever hit a mammoth with your car? >> good point, actually. >> but what if we were able to ride them? not only would it look magestic, but it would cut down on carbon pie die yokz side. -- carbon dioxide. >> do you have an e-mail for us? put something interesting or smart. still to come, half time report from tv's andy levy, the waste of time. >> tonight's half time report is sponsored by baby turtles. the body is protected with a boney shell. thanks, baby turtle.

welcome back. let's see if we have anything wrong so far. let's go to andy levy. don't ask me about my weekend, andy. >> i would never. i would never. have i seen that movie. -- i have seen that movie. christie's running or not running or running or not running. john, you said people have a feeling that all of the gop candidates suck. where does that feeling come from? >> i get your point, thanks.

>> i don't even know what your point s. >> i don't think they s cru k, but we haven't found the one that would be interesting enough, right? >> isn't that code for they really suck? >> no. herman cane is entertaining and real who else is. >> newt gingrich. >> he is from the league of presidents. >> gary johnson. >> mitt. >> gary johnson. >> mit is it. >> gary johnson. >> gary johnson an interesting, sightly eccentric man. who else? >> ron paul. >> we didn't leave anybody out. >> and you said christie is doing what romney has done. he said, have i to do what romney did, so i have to spend years succeeding up to them. they have got a lot different person -- personalities.

if romney was human he would be kristi. >> that's an interest ling -- interesting picture. they have different personalities and that accounts for something. >> their tone was like when they explain to somebody that getting a course is awesome. >> i have so much time to myself and i live above a garage now. >> well, you have sold me on this thing. >> living above a garage is awesome. >> they say you could be very healthy and overweight. who is they? >> a couple of fat guys i know. >> captain pudgey. >> they have wings and pitchers. the wings are in the pitchers,

floating in the beer. >> why would you go to a bar with a name like captain pudgey. >> i didn't really go. i was taken there. >> over the weekend? >> yes. >> and then i was hypnotized. >> you said it would be odd if christie lied to his brother, todd, for not running. i don't think he is running. >> thank you. it is todd though. remember what todd told us last week? >> yes, but -- well, he was kind of right. >> i guess so. >> he said go straight to it scplee nothing about the stopover. greg you mentioned christie was tweeting excerpts on tuesday night. i read the speech. it was quite a speech for somebody not running for president. they were coming from a guy who has aspirations of holding office. i think he is running.

>> flip-floper. >> bill, you said christie is doing a little dance about whether or not he is running, but he has been clear over and over again he is not running. >> he has, but it is important to report that he has made it clear he is running. >> i don't think he has. >> i think he has, but also he might not be. something to think about. >> i'm fairly certain you are possibly wrong. >> i am definitely certain you maybe aren't here. >> probably not. >> john, who do you think would be historic the way obama was? palin? >> okay. >> i get to see my kids every week. i am thinking of carving a hole in the roof so ian slide down. i always wanted one as a kid.

>> finally the big screen. jesse you worked with "the situation" on one of your roasts? >> i didn't work with him as much as i tried to tolerate him being a [bleep]. >> jesse, you tried to tolerate "the situation" being on [bleep] on one of your roast. what do you think christie blocking the tax credit for "jersey shore"? >> i don't think it will matter. they can apply for the funding because they are an oily disaster. >> are you welcome, jesse. "l word" actress kicked off a flight -- or not quicked off for kissing her girlfriend. she wasn't kicked off the flight, the plane landed. >> that's what i was saying. apparent plea the -- apparently the kissing was in the air and was told don't do that and it escalated.

when the plane landed she was escorted off the plane. i am not sure what the uproar is about. she wasn't kicked off the flow. >> she's intolerant. >> you are intolerant. >> you said they are like the kim junk ills of the sky. i know it is odd when he is correct, but he was in this case. passengers complained to the flight attendants. we don't know that for sure. i never had a passenger complain about me, but flight attendants threatening to wot me back in line. the fact i made eye contact with him. >> could it be your attitude toward flight attendants which you are displaying on a national tv show? >> i didn't start this, but i will finish it. >> you also refuse to wear pants on a plane.

>> show me in the ma guidelines where i have to wear pants. a kilt is just as acceptable. >> greg, you said they figured out what those symbols were and they spelled lesbians rule? >> yes. >> just checking to see if anybody would last the second time. >> laugh truck please. >> susan sarandon stops by. you say "from thelma and louis" and i believe brad pitt was in there. >> and gina davis played the cop, right? >> no, no. you are thinking "back to the future." >> no comment. >> overshoot day. greg, you said the odds are we

will find another earth. we have some choices. in the pre crisis earth was was a 2% and the heart prime while they were characters and then the crisis on multiple earths and your 52 and final crisis. there are 52 earths and all we have to do is get to them and then steel their stuff. >> what does his cat have to do with it? >> with what i just said? >> absolutely nothing. >> then that question has been answered. >> what an odd little man. >> i was told all questions are good questions. >> who told you that? did the question fairy tell you that? >> this whole half time is over. >> gotta go? >> yes. you gotta go. coming up, nancy grace is dead set on winning "dancing with

the stars." but first, she is a delight. and what is wrong with the once thriving cocaine market 1234 why would anything be wrong with it. this is the greatest show. and i want to read my movie script. i think ryan gosselinger is interested.

should the tv stink because they are in the clink? pennsylvania's allegheny con knee jail doesn't think so, and yes a jail can think. and it is getting new top of the line flat screen tv's for all of its inmates. yep, the lock up purchased 40 sony bravia, tv's at $395 per set. but according to one official, the money doesn't come from taxpayers. the proceeds come from the jail comma satisfactory used

by the inmates. it is time for something we like to call -- >> lightning round. >> john, the inmates are paying for the tv. so is this a big deal? should we be outraged? should this appear on every show for the next week? >> yes, if there is anybody in america without a sony flat screen they should be upset these inmates are getting one before them. by the way, where do you get one for $395. >> no kidding. >> it is a low rem model. 1 there any advice for the prisoners who may be watching you now? >> do you have nielsen boxes in there and can you turn your set to fox news. in that case it is an awesome idea. >> they were looking at you, but they weren't listening to you. >> as long as they have fox news othey can have it on mute. >> it is true. if there is no nielsen family, what good are they?

>> jesse, are we coddling the inmates? >> buy one, that's what they did. don't be mad because inmates are better at saving money than you are. do you know how much they make an hour? $fine $93 cents. it is set in the 20s. he owns a piano and there is this ignorant race rider guy. i think you got a piana. i don't have a piana. first of all, did you want a piano. secondly, you can't have a piano if you can't pronounce the word piano. >> don't the sales come from the sale of cigarettes mostly? >> has cigarettes lead to the tv? >> what? >> who does that? >> who buys twingeys?

>> in a jail. >> a bad man with a sweet tooth. you are allowed to have them. >> that's all i would do is eat. if i come in looking like this, i am in trouble. i have a -- i have a hard enough time walking from work. >> i am going to go in that town asap. you no i who else doesn't have a problem with it? the prison guards. they watching family ties. that's better for anyone there. >> maybe they will learn something. >> all right. it is time to take a break. but don't go anywhere. more things to talk about.

part two of the lightning round. on monday an irish farmer threw rhiana off his land for, quote, ceasing to be dressed in an appropriate manner. the pop star, seen here, was filming a music video to rip off her top and a bikini made of red bandannas. it was the same kind i wore on

labor day. that's when 61-year-old allen graham pulled up on his tractor and requested they stop the shoot. it is common knowledge you are the biggest rhianna fan. what are you hearing in the rhianna world? what are the blogs saying? >> she will be treating -- it sounds like another southwest deal. it is a complete injustice for whatever that was. >> you have already forgotten that story. >> i am object setsing. look at this that occurred. >> i don't know. she is a big star. it is nice to see them having a wholesome set of values. it is cute. adorable. >> yes. i do want to say though, i don't think she complained. she had a nice conversation with the man and she said it was gracious.

he is am mick blow. >> no he wasn't an irish -- she was wearing a bokini. what red bloodzed american mill does that. >> there is a new show called "irish farmer" and you would be amazing. >> maybe he was a wholesome, traditional woman on his farm farmland. >> how would he talk to rhianna otherwise if he hadn't xome planed about her not having enough clothes on. he got his chance. >> what do you make of this story? don't you love this guy? >> i think he is not going to live it down for a longtime. i heard you kicked an international sex symbol off your land because she got naked. way to stop that problem. it is northern ireland.

it gets sunny for 18 minutes a bay, and the last time somebody took their shirt off was for a hunger strike. you hospital be kicking the hottest chick on the planet off your lawn. >> i am busy cultivating a famine. on. >> i did northern irish. >> last topic, according to recent it wills even cocaine dealers are are suffering from a tough economy. in new york city, admissions, overdoses and rehab requests have declined since 2008. why do they have to show this while i am talking? >> anyway,4 one doctor says many addicts claim they don't have enough money to buy cook anymore which cost $sick to $80 a gram. i wouldn't know, john. interesting story. it sounds like crime-fighting

is working. >> yes. how is this crimping your social life? -- or cramping. >> either way. >> they were careful to say that just cocaine use has gone down. it does president mean these people are sober now. they just went to cheaper highs. it is not funny. >> i think patty is right. it is good news for paint companies because ruffing is up. >> i haven't tried that and i don't want to. has the recession affected your concession of top romin? >> you know how we are aware this is going on and this is a problem? it was written by someone in the media. >> absolutely right. it didn't come from somebody on the street. it came from the media. somebody be bemoaning the

fact. you are right. it probably rhymes with mandy peavy. we will close things out. from tv's andy levy. to see clips go to foxnews.com/redeye. >> she looks great.

back to tv's andy levy for the post game wrap up. >> back to the story about the southwest airlines thing. you eluded to katy perry's "i kissed a girl." >> no, you didn't. >> it throws off the whole thing. >> i like her songs, thanks. >> what do you think it will do for her career? >> what could go wrong? >> i think a lot could go wrong. >> i don't think so. >> i think you might have killed her career. >> i might have? gi by coming out.

>> have i done that for other artists? >> i was once in charge of the eagles until they got rid of me. >> you were managers of the eagles? >> i worked at atlantic. >> as soon as they got rid of gibson everything was great. >> jesse where are you going to be this weekend? >> i am doing a -- it is wednesday through saturday at stand up carolina in myrtle beach. >> five hot shows. >> i assume that dana would have given you a message to give to me because of that thing. i just figured it is because he is probably more afraid of me than he is losing the inheritance. >> we have to go. >> what a difference a year makes, president obama in a