welcome to "red eye." i'm greg gutfeld. it is a place to go for all of your accessory needs. mention my name and get everything off. let's go to andy levy for a pre game report. andy, what's coming up on tonight's show? >> you won't go see him on monday night football as espn and hank williams junior officially partways. and president obama talks about the importance of his jobs bill at a press conference on thursday, but was he so boring he added to unemployment by putting clinics out of business? and why are conservative white males less likely to believe in global warm ?g a shocking study that doesn't answer the question, greg. >> happy bald and free day. >> what exactly is bald and free? >> bald and free day is a chance for bald people to celebrate their baldness, and for others to honor them. >> andy, apologize to bald people. just because you have a head of highlighted, spiky blonde hair, it doesn't make you special. >> ient in you no offense, and

no highlights. soon enough i will be one of them. in fact, i would like to use my pulpit to call on all scientists to stop whatever research they are doing and focus on a cure for baldness. >> andy? >> yes, greg. >> i don't believe you have a pulpit. >> i don't? >> no. >> that sucks. any idea how we can get one? >> not really. >> if you hear anything. >> i will let you know. why not welcome our guest instead. she is so cute that strawberry short cake owns a carrie keegan one see. she is the host of vh one's big morning buzz live. the second season begins on october 17th. it is hard to concentrate and read the prompter when she is here. if jokes were cheese she would be cheesy. it is ryan reiss. and on halloween hobos go as him. it is my repulsive sidekick,

bill schulz. and sitting next to me, fox business network reporter, adam shapiro. law making is wretch. good to see you, pimp. >> take a began der >> good to see you, pinch. >> take a gander. he is the winner of the nobel prize. or as the scandinavian shakes pierce may say. truly his words will live on forever. greg? >> sounds vaguely like -- >> well, there seems to be a hand up there. it has nothing to do with anything. embarassing. >> go away, paper. it looks like hank will be making one less trip to the bank. hank williams, junior will now have his monday nights free as espn and the singer officially

parted ways. williams' song "are you ready for some football -- never heard it -- was kicking off the games since 1991, but espn dropped the song after a comment he made on fox and friends about president obama and john boehner playing golf together. >> it would be like hitler playing golf with netanyahu. not hardly. in the country this shape is in, the shape this country is in, i mean, no. >> i don't understand the analogy. >> i'm glad you don't, brother, because a lot of people do. they are the enemy. >> who is the enemy? >> obama. obama and biden. >> i want a ring tone of obama and biden. he later issued a semicoherent statement explaining what he meant, but it was not good enough. it said, quote, we decided to partways with hank williams,

junior. they said this in unison. the entire staff at espn. we appreciate his contribution. monday night football has always been about the games, and that will continue. they are speaking about football, by the way. for his part, williams says he himself decided to pull it from monday night football saying on his website, which he has a website and after reading hundreds of e-mails i made my decision by pulling my -- by my opening october 3rd you, ieespn, stepped on the toes of the freedom of speech. therefore me, my song and all of my rowdy friends are out of here. it it has been a great run. we have all made mistakes on live tv. it happened to me early in my career. i believe i have the tape.

>> that was my repulsive sidekick hector. it did not work out. >> your loss was my gain. you made that loss happen. >> i am not leaning back in my chair, not now, not ever. >> adam, you are the business guy here. what do you think of espn's decision? did it infringe on any first amendment? >> hank williams has the right to say what he wants to say. he doesn't have the right to say it on espn. i will miss the song, but look it is foot and mouth disease. friends don't let friends go on tv drunk. >> he claims he doesn't drink, right? >> i don't think he was drunk. i think he suffered from what some of us said -- if we make a mistake, our brain says stop, stop, and we keep going. he should have just stopped and said i don't want to go there. >> that was the story of my career. >> yet i keep going. people have told me to shut up. >> they actually encourage you. i am a pathetic character.

if you are going to compare the president to hitler, you are pretty much done as a public figure. is that what we have learned here? >> that seems to be the case. but if you are really looking at the story, it is like, hank put his foot in his mouth, and then espn put their foot up his ass, and then he sort of put his own foot up his ass, and so i'm thinking the whole point is as long as it went from mouth to ass and not the other way around everything is fine. it will all work out. >> either way it confused me deeply. i need you to save me. will ems why says he quit -- williams says he quit, and they said they got rid of him. >> i would like to agree with adam. country singers have had a long history of being sober. >> you just denigrated a large

portion of our audience who are successful country singers. >> you offended larry gatlin. >> he is known for this one song. he wasn't even original in his website thing where he said "i have decided to partways with espn. me and all my rowdy friends -- and went right into the song. >> i am really concerned about all football fans. i am not sure what they will be ready for. >> i was thinking, bill, what are they going to replace the song with? something that fits with football. you know i am a football fan. i love my football. i was thinking "you're beautiful" by james blunt. >> perfect. and long, slow shots of tom brady's hair. on repeat. >> i don't think you can repeat that. >> i'm ready for caja googoo

to return in a big, big way. they examined not only his statement to the press, but him and they noticed that it was driping down his beard as he spoke. and the first amendment has nothing to do with private businesses. sure you can say it, and as has been said, espn can fire him for it. they learned that and that talent skips a generation. >> before we move othe only thing -- the only thing that bugs me about this is -- and not to go into a story that happened awhile ago, but when mike tyson did that rant about sarah palin and about sex, and i don't want to get into it too much. it was on an espn station. and espn didn't do anything about it. do you remember this story? >> no, but i get that kind of thing from mike tyson. >> it is weird that espn didn't talk to their host because they all laughed during it.

i think what tyson did was far worse. >> mike tyson can hit really hard. the only thing hank can do is fall on you. >> well frrks firing hank to shooting a blank, will another bill end our economic ills, and will congress get sacked if they don't act? on thursday, a day of the week, the president pits his $447 billion jobs proposal and telling lawmakers they should vote for it. if they don't, -- >> will congress do something? if congress does something i cannot run against the do not run congress. if congress does nothing it is not a matter of me running against them. the american people will run them out of town. >> get some milk. wait, isn't this a game, isn't this a time for the usual political gridlock. >> this is not a game. this is not the time for the usual political gridlock. >> i should have been

listening. many people including some in his own party don't support the bill which is the point of this touching new video by something called american cross crossroads. >> do you struggle with fear, shame. is your president asking you to vote for another stimulus and you just can't bring yourself to support it? it is okay. democrats anonymous can help. you know it is a terrible bill, frustrating and unfair. and there is too much discussion about raising taxes. >> too much discussion. >> but it is okay to disagree with the president. >> i disagree. >> it is okay to be skeptical. >> i am skeptical. >> democrats anonymous because the first step is admitting you have a problem. >> that's cute. anyway, obama said he is comfortable. that was his actual word, comfortable, with a proposal to add a 5.6% cur tax on millionaires. which leads me to politico. some have received threatening e-mails saying it is time to

kill the wealthy. it begs a bigger question gripping our fragile nation, do dogs like lettuce? >> that should answer that question. are you all right? >> that is the cutest thing ever. >> that was so exciting. that was my moment. >> now you know how our viewers feel when you are on the screen. >> i love you, greg gutfeld. >> thank you very much. i guess i should just shut up. >> our viewers want to have sex with dogs? >> that's awful. >> i understand the analogy. >> have i to ask you, what is the millionaire surtax really about? is it to sweeten the package so they can jump in on it? >> look, it is politics.

it is class warfare. the democrats should play the card because it is the card they have. fdr played it. it works for them the same way they can play the social card when they bring up gay rights issues and they get people to the polls. at the end of the day, the tax increase doesn't solve the problem and the president knows that and the congress knows that. it is being able to bash the other side. th is not a plight game. let's go on a friendly out together country club and play polo. this is high stakes power game, and take no prisoners. >> ryan, what did you think of the press conference? >> i think he is pushing the jobs bill because he will be out of a job soon. i think he is thinking of his own speaker. god is speaking to me when obama talks. >> it was really long. i felt it was long and it took 10 minutes to answer every question. i said this before on the five. -- on "the five." you feel like he wants to dump

america. he is in a marriage that he wants to get out of. i have to go and explain to people -- you know what, i can problem -- probably go to any bar and pick up any chick. i don't need to be with you. carrie, has the crappy economy affected your life at all? >> no. i never had any money and i still don't have any money. >> really? >> has it affected you? who has money? the economy sucks. >> i'm sure there would be a half a million men right now -- >> tens and 20s. >> to all of the red eye people out there, i am in desperate, desperate need of a lot of, a lot of cash. the things i have to do to keep myself looking like this. please send your money. excuse me, bill. this will go a very short way.

i need a lot more. >> that won't even pay for one still let toe. -- stiletto. >> this is terrible. >> bill, could you get behind the will the wealthy thing? >> absolutely -- i mean, no, not at all. >> the problem is he is speaking with his constituent, and his constituents are missing it. it is bad timing. the constituents are siting in their own fit in wall street. and none of them have walk mans. -- sorry, watchmans. >> here is my theory. if this tax happens they should call it an envy tax. there is no protective value to it. it is a punitive tax. it is say weeing want to hurt people because they are successful, am i right? >> i want to be able to beat up on a political opponent is

what it is. if the president were serious, if congress were serious they would take the commissions report from two years ago, and they would just do what they said which is close the tax loopholes and raise some tax, but in essence, lower everybody's marginal tax. >> i like the idea of taking money from the wealthy. >> it doesn't affect me at all. i like your idea. >> i don't know if that's a real word, but i invented it. >> from jobs bills to done hills. the anti-tobacco crusade just got crusadier. they expanded their war on marl burrows while on the clock including breaks. as well as not allowing employees to work if their clothing splels like smoke. that's right. anybody who walks past me while smoking on their way to the rounds can be denied admittance. explains the hospital administrator of their police state, quote, we sent a letter notifying them they had a year to make whatever adjustments

they needed to make to comply with the policy. thank god we had that quote. that was really helpful. >> it tells the real story. >> she cited this video of an intern reacting to the insurance -- to the inspiration behind the band. >> that was amazing. i don't know whether to feel bad for her -- >> no, you should feel happy for her. >> is this all you think about? >> and i have numbed my knows. -- nose. >> they call this third hand smoke. this is total absolute bs to

think about -- >> do you want to smell my shirt? is that it? >> that would actually make -- well, that would be awesome, but if it smelled like smoke it would have no affect on me. secondhand smoke is a sham. i knew that wasn't a question. >> it has been medically proven that something is bad for you. it will affect you somehow. i'm just happy that crack is odor less. >> that's a great ad line. >> so ryan, if anyone deserves to smoke a cigarette at work, it is a doctor or a nurse. it is the toughest jobs in the world. >> the doctors i snow, the last thing you want to do is take the cigarettes away. who is going to be responsible for sniffing the people when they come back? >> that is true. good point.

>> he is all right. he can go back. >> i group around smokers. >> i grew up around smokers. >> didn't the smell on people's clothing smell good? didn't it remind you of your parents? >> no. the smell that is great is the first light in the morning. that's the smell of victory. to your point, are they really going to hire somebody to start sniffing people's clothing? this is ridiculous. i want to say [bleep] on air because i never said that. >> there is 20 bucks and you will pay the fcc for that one. >> you will have to write that down because we willed dit it out. -- we will edit it out. >> i bet you are for this, aren't ?u. >> absolutely. every doctor smokes. if you go by mount sinai they are out there puffing away. here is what i don't understand. if i am clear, if a doctor walks by you and goes into the hospital he can't be allowed in. what are you doing in

alexandria? that's the part i don't understand. >> is this what you do with yourself all week? >> hopefully andy levy will answer that question. how should you treat a beautiful woman at a bar? cara keegan discusss that in her book, buy me tons of drinks and then leave me alone. so, do little people have a right to be tossed. we pick up where special report left off.

he is taking a big stand for the wee man. but some fell laws say that ain't swella. we spoke with a representative who fired a bill that would repeal a 1989 law banning dwarf tossing in bars.

don't laugh. somebody is laughing at this. this is not funny, as a little person. his reason? they need jobs too, the little people. explains rich workman, it is an archaic big brother law that says we don't like that activity. there is nothing immoral or illegal. all we did was take away some i'm ploy meant from little people. meanwhile the president of the little people say the ban protects the entire dwarf community. what does the typical little person think? >> that's actually my brother, steve. he is actually taller than me, if you can believe that. i am a border line little person. and this guy is saying -- this law is taking jobs away. but it is a job that the -- that dehumanizes -- >> it is immoral.

i can only think of who lobbied the state legislator from florida. the american society of sociopaths -- who really wants this law changed? >> it is true. it has to be novelty bar games and they have like 500 dwarf tossing sets that they need to unload. they will go to this guy, he is aned yite -- an idiot. i am for free minds and free markets. this guy is capitalizing on that idea to push a horrible idea. >> he is capitalizing on the state of our economy. he is like, i am creating jobs. why don't you get off your butt. >> terrible. >> perfect example of florida's forward thinking. >> you have people going, i really like that girl. >> i apologize. why don't we just repeal the

house -- the work houses again? >> why not? >> not again. >> should i answer this? >> yes, no. >> it is interesting, bill. throughout history, his argument is the one used over and over again for employing little people on st. patrick's day. >> we have done that. jay i know. and i am deeply ashamed. we have used little people. >> no, we worked with them. >> but this is different. this is actually -- you are turning them into an object, and that is wrong. >> last i checked this is not soviet russia. if a little person wants to be tossed and somebody wants to toss him and lo and behold the buck is made, we should let it happen. i love little people for pete's sake. i mean that sincerely. i have a friend named pete and he is very possible.

i only do it with his permission. pete, go to bed. >> you just said it yourself, you treat him like an object. what else is an object? a stripper. you have to stop the strip clubs too. >> i am against dwarfs striping. >> this guy is not doing this out of the goodness of his heart. that's balogna. he is doing it to get on "red eye." >> the only show that would cover this story. he doesn't even care. >> i am worried he doesn't exist. his name is rich workman. >> do you think andy can check on this? >> he is looking up at a sign that says you're an "bleep." do you have a comment on the show? e-mail us at red eye at fox news .com. and to leave a voicemail call

212-462-5050. still to come, the half time report from andy levy. >> tonight is sponsored by comodo dray dragons. thanks, comodo dragons.

welcome back. let's find out if we have anything wrong so far.

for that we go to tv's andy levy. hi, andy. >> hi, greg. how are you? >> i'm great. >> i can't see anyone. i am looking at a blank screen. >> i look gorgeous. everybody else is hideous. just imagine a beautiful man. >> espn and hank williams junior said bye-bye. greg, you never heard that song? >> no. >> i bet you can harm -- you ka can remember the song at the end of "sex and the city." >> god, i love that song. in 1994 i followed them on tour and all through the midwest. >> were they opening for fish? >> yes, it was fantastic. you i was a motley crew. >> were you? good for you. add adam, i kind of agree with

you. williams saying president obama and joe biden are the real problem here? >> yes. >> on the other hand, adam, i don't think hank's brain was saying stop, stop. >> no. i think you are right. >> i really don't think he was. >> thanks for ensuring the show won't air over the weekend. >> my pleasure. we can watch it privately, right? >> absolutely. sure. bill, you mentioned tom brady's wind-swept locks. actually brady cut his stupid, long hair and has stupid short hair. >> the short locks. i prefer to think of brady in his hippie days. i think most america agrees with me. >> we are both padres. >> what? >> we both went to the same high school. >> i don't care. >> i just like pointing that out. >> greg, you brought up the

stuff mike tyson said and espn didn't do anything about that. but tyson is not an employee. espn did not punish kenny main when he tweeted, almost m raid car with palin bumper sticker with intent. could be kids in car. adam, you said the president's job bill is class warfare and it should be. so you believe all rich people should be killed? >> i don't want to lose my family. no. >> that's what it sounded like, sir. >> was that not off camera? >> ryan, you asked what would happen to president obama. he is a good speech maker, but not so much when he is being impromptu. >> valid point. >> thanks for stepping on

carrie's little bit that she was doing. serious yea. -- seriously. >> four and a half years and you think it is cool to jump in without regard to anybody else? you are a sad, disgusting creep. >> my family is here. >> greg, you called carrie and ryan class warfarists, but you don't know if that's a word? >> it is not. >> i think it is now. i invented it. go to class warfare .org. you can get one of the t-shirts right now. >> really? >> yes. >> that was fast. >> i have my own t-shirt company. >> louisiana hospital bans clothes that smell of cigarette smoke. if you go out to lunch and come back and smell like smoke you can't go back to work?

that's awesome. how many people will just go out to lunch and go near people that can smoke. >> or what about the smart guy who sells shirts that smell like smoke. >> possibly silk screened. >> from my company. >> i like it. adam, i don't think the hospital's plan is to sniff everybody's clothes. i assume somebody notices it and complains they will do something about it. i can't see any of these. greg, bill, you said something like -- bill said something like what are you doing in alexandria? you said hopefully i would answer that question? >> i won't. i have no idea what he meant. >> i didn't understand it either. >> can i explain it for the people that were watching the show. greg's intro said if the doctors walk past him. he was smoking and these guys

would not be able to enter the hospital. i ask greg what he is doing in alexandria? >> he wasn't in alexandria. if he had been in alexandria. >> here is the thing. i don't know what example is. scpru not going explain it to me. >> no. >> andy, what is this about? we'll talk later. >> i told you we would go to alexandria for the weekend. i have to work. i'm sorry. no need to bring it up here. i know you love old town. >> it is funny how you always have to work, and then you are never at work. >> i like to work on the road sometimes. it is quiet. i am getting ideas for my shirt. >> who is the road? by the way, a hospital using junk science like third hand smoke, that's where i want to

go for medical treatment. florida legislature wants 20* ban dwarf tossing. first he is a real person. he is a mortgage broker using people at bait. >> accurate, bute fen cive. >> you said what this ban is doing is preventing little people from having dehumanizing jobs. but isn't that up to each individual person if this is for themselves. >> this would be a very scary place. people would be doing horrible things. >> call me by my full name, bill, the road schulz. >> society is a horrible place. look what bill does do for money. >> that's why they call him "the road." >> "the rod is long."

>> i'm done. >> are you ready? >> yeah. >> going to end on that? >> i am. >> you are really unhappy. >> put that finger down. >> thank you, andy. do you have any chance whatsoever with a hot chick? that and other stupid questions are answered in the latest spoken word album. i am looking for a guy that can make me laugh. first, how do you plan on celebrating oktoberfest? you don't even know it is the month of october. this tease is so over.

>> so why are american ale houses saying welcome to mass-crustemin. it translates to beer stein

holding contest. and it is the hottest german i'm -- import since sushi. contestants must hold a liter's worth of the various best at arm's length for as long as humanly possible. one's by accept has to stay parallel to the floor and not bend nor still for fear of disqualification. sounds stupid? it is. which is why we sent bill to a recent competition in brooklyn. first, a training session with the marilyn monroe of the lager world. >> thanks, greg, and or andy, who ever is hosting. i just don't care. i am talking to the girl. jennifer, thank you for joining me. what is the history and how far back do they go? >> it goes back to when we follow the german purity laws saying beer can only be -- > anytime i hear german and purity i get a little nervous. where do you think it stands

up with other symbols that are female. you have the starbucks mermaid and wendy from wendy's and mrs. fields, of course. >> the girl is so iconic that definitely number one. >> and for legal reasons i have to say it is the only one i am turned on by. can't do wendy's. she is too young. should i make sure not to stand by somebody getting tickled? obviously working out. in fact, that's why my hair isett wet. i just got done with the jim. -- with the gym. what is your recommendation for train ?g. >> a couple hours a day, your best bet at a competition is don't stand near the big guy. >> if i say a woman wearing this would she be my waitress, b, a girl for hire, or c i i

can take home to mom. >> possibly waitress and possibly a girl you can take home for mom. >> interesting. i have hepatitis a and c. >> question 493, what is your favorite color and do you like hop bes? >> are we done here? >> this is just not professional. bar keep. my wine spritser. >> that was amazing acting. i love how while you were interviewing her you were checking your text. >> i strucked it them to get rid of them as my questions were posed. >> the worst thing about this is that was not the only of it. there is part two coming up of this package after this eek bra. -- after this break.

now that bill is uh bredth of all things oktoberfest, let's go to part two of the least worthy history of stories worth

having a part two. >> i am here at a beer hall. there is a mug holding contest. and i expect to win. and since every deserves a good t ru ndle i brought a little to join in the festivities. >> you told me everyone would be wearing this. >> i know. >> any advice? this looks hard. >> it is hard. the best advice is to have really short arms. >> so you have it. is it spindley good? >> that is generally not good, but if you have wiry muscle. >> wiry i have. >> the most important question, what is the pride?

>> let me ask you this, is it a cotton polly blend? >> what can i buy you to convince you not to participate? >> i want to win the t-shirt. >> you can buy me another liter. >> and it is just a liter. did they hire you because you are so airy looking? >> are you from germany? >> no, i am from brazil, but i love germany, and i loved there for two years. >> i am german and i just got a brazilian so we have a lot in common. what is your advice? >> i don't know if i should say something about quality or quantity. what is it? i would go for quantity. well if you like quantity you will hate me. before the contest do you prefer it with a roofie.

>> five, four, three, two, one. >> he was doing steroids. >> what do you plan on doing with your t-shirt? >> i'm going wear it out proudly and hope you send me to germany. >> i don't think that was part of the prize. but do have two tickets to paradise, and i would love for you to join me. >> well, that was my first and last mug holding competitions. what is your plans? >> another peabody.

another peabody. >> you are certainly a peabody. you described bill while watching this as tin customer bell after the -- tinker bell after the music. >> it was scary, but the outfit they had on -- >> they had cleavage. >> we've got another piece of tape involving the st. pauly girl. and something is clearly wrong. >> i really can't lose the girl. so please if you could stop i would appreciate it. my mom is watching. >> if you notice he is interviewing her with a microphone upside down. clearly a professional red eye -- i was worried about the

audio, and i was wondering why. or maybe you were trying to capture her stomach gurgling. i can tell you something it wasn't, me being buzzed. i don't want you to do that. >> well that was interesting. the thing that bothers me the most about oktoberfest is why the k? >> that's how they spell it. open your mind. joy -- >> this is why they are awful people. we will close things up with andy levy. another awful person. go to foxnews.com/redeye.

well, it is that time of the show again. it is time to punch bill in the stomach again. just kidding. are we? it is another edition of where are they now? surely you remember this adorable fell law. -- fellow.

>> that was in 2007. young tyler soon sky rocketed to fame parlaying his rave nuss appetite on the competitive eating circus. after finishing second in the hot dog eating contest it seemed unstopable. he was set to star aside martin lawrence. sadly what was once an amazing ability had become a crippling eating disorder. by 2010 he could not and would not leave his hot tub saying, quote, i love food and nothing else. this has been a red eye where are they now? >> another down ending. we have to find some happier stories. but i love his hot tub. i will see you back here at 5:00 p.m. eastern time for "the five" and the o'reilly factor. check out bill on fox news radio, twice on friday he will be on kill me and friends and

the allen cone show. time to go back to tv's andy levy for the post game wrap up. >> are you excited about big morning buzz to come back? >> are you? >> of course. >> are you going to be watch ?g. >> i love a good morning buzz. >> i but the champagne in your mimosa every morning. >> i did not know that was you. i thought that was the elves. >> we don't call them that now. >> excellent. >> and you can't toss them. >> ryan, are you going to be at a festival? i am. i will be at the chance theater for the qont -- controversy and music festival. >> adam, i hear you were recently at a medical marijuana dispense rein colorado for a story, i assume? >> yes, boulder, colorado and we need to pay attention to an

epidemic. there were unit countless college students getting their prescription pills. hang nails and severe, severe hair display shaw. it says we need to draw attention to maybe a telethon, but thousands are suffering. >> it is amazing how this diagnosis has jumped. >> it is just that we have a greater awareness. of diseases. a lot of publicity and people not ashamed of their diseases anymore. >> and the screening has improved. that's why there are a lot of people with the ailments. >> it has nothing at all to do with the treatment. none whatsoever. >> nope. >> nobody could see that coming. bye, andy. bill schulz, you disgust me.