i've got to get outta here. that's it for us on "the five." thanks for watching. we'll see you tomorrow. bye-bye. welcome to "red eye." as voted by hugable talk show host news. let's go to andyly levey. what is coming up on tonight's show? >> welcome, america to hash tag occupy red eye? what do i want? analysis. when do i want it? not right now. our top story, it is a bad man calling the protests on wall street. and why can't it be both? and the nfl discovers who watches football. and finally, did the women in

texas hurt the feelings of rush limbaugh? probably not. honestly, i'm thinking of you right now wearing a tierra, sparkle on. >> i am not thinking of you at all. >> thanks, greg. shy is so hot she gives the sun a brooke goldstein burn. she is the director of the law fare project. obviously two fronts i don't believe exist. i have yet to see you with a child. and as you can guess someone canceled and joe was in town doing nothing. so our last choice as always comedian joe derosa. his new comedy cd came outlast month and it is called the return of the sun and quite possibly the worst title for any tv i have ever heard.

and i would like to welcome a first time guest. he is a writer, a musician, a comedian and a beardman. >> you are a beards man. it is our "new york times" correspondent. good to see you, pinch. just got back from the occupy wall street rally. and they are making me feel a little weird. ♪ when the moon is in the seventh house ♪ ♪ and jupiter [aligns|alliance] with -- alligns with mars ♪ and love will steel the stars ♪ ♪ this is the dawning of the start the show. >> no second verse? >> no, i didn't write that down.

>> the numbers camped out in new york's financial district and are being accused by filthy conditions. they are calling sanitation a growing concern. but who said democracy wasn't messy? as this unidentified man defecating on a cop carnots,-- cop car knows, the bigger movement has gone beyond manhattan and our nation's capital in an area called occupy dc. it is taking the streets or at least talking about it. >> there is a proposal to take the street. i think this is a question.

>> there is no reason not to take the streets. >> clearly he saw "edward scissor hands" many, many times. and in atlanta democratic congressman john lewis was denied an address of the assembly because he said he wasn't that important. >> how do we feel? >> about congressmen? >> he is like, what the [bleep] did i get myself into. >> they found themselves

somebody that they like just as much. >> way -- yea, freedom of speech. gavin, you were there today. >> i was? >> you were there. what was the mood like? what is the scene there? and can you explain to me this stuff and the -- >> fingers for grabbing stuff. >> i got that question for so long. when they are answering yes and no, do you see that? >> spirit fingers? >> how did i not notice that?

>> and when they repeat what other people say, is there a reason for that? >> that's an old hippies, 60s thing. what do we want? it gets people going. i found them incredibly naive and nice. i think their hearts are in the right place. i think it is easy to dismiss them as a bunch of fools because they are a bunch of fools. they have a valid beat. they should be mad at those who get paid thousands of times more than they get. i was disappointed to see that no one was mad at the government. it was just rich people. >> and did you have any idea or sense from them what the solution was? do they want to get rid of banks or rich people? >> i think their ambiguity is a recognition that they don't have a plan. there was a rumor that they had the talk talking points

and everybody has to get $20 an hour. that was a message on a blog. they have never had a list of demands. i think they know that it is really complicated, and you have to have an iq like this level to figure it out. >> i think we have a picture of you today. actually you would use a cheap magic marker and the first word just disappeared. >> i used the children's marker for the first word, and then i thought, well, i will do the rest in a real marker. >> what you have is the ceo and then basically a contrast in opinions. i mean, a contrast dichotomy. >> to them it is, i don't understand why. i don't understand why they are not mad at obama. they are happy about the -- i saw one anti-war sign and it was written in crayon and had a hello kitty sticker, but nobody else wanted to get into that. they just know rich people have money, and they are in debt. they don't seem to know that

there are not that many rich people. and they can't payoff $14 trillion. >> they say they represent 99% of america. does that look like 99% to you? >> before i answer your question, i was going to say i was going to call my album, the bible of unspeakable truths. but the title was taken. >> you didn't listen to anything he said. you have been burning over the fact -- >> no, i just -- you know. >> why do you call it that? why did you call it that? it is the longest, most bizarre -- >> it is a sequel to my first album. >> i am going out on a limb and say nobody bought your first album for the title. >> it was my pleasure to come in at the last minute. thank you for the plug. >> greg, does that look like 99% of america? no it doesn't look like 99% of america to me. it looks like -- this is a no

i don't think it is a fair representation i think it is like most of these unfortunate congregations or protests, if you will. they are usually come comprised by punks and hippies and they are a bunch of pseudo yuppies and it is a lot of hoopla for nothing. i understand what they are hoping to get done. i don't see how anything is getting done by it. >> brooke, you are a true activist. you go out of your way to look out for kids which i guess makes you feel really good. >> i don't know why. you have the iranian military supporting -- >> they are having a field day. we are serving it to them on a silver platter. but as a first felt attorney it is a great -- but as a first felt attorney it is a great day. i am so proud to be an american.

i hate to say this, but there was a photo up loaded to facebook today that sums it up. there are kids that are anti-con wearing gap t-shirts and carrying camera biz nokia and iphones and they are completely clueless. there is no clear message. it is a shame that so much media attention goes to them, and they have an opportunity to sayingmething, but they are saying absolutely nothing. >> does it bother you when you see children there. >> have we seen children there? >> have i seen a lot of children there. >> bill, now you have stepped over the line. you have been following politics for 30, 35 years. you worked on the due caw kiss campaign and the nixon campaign. >> democrats are starting to consider joining this movement. they started the democratic campaign committee. they had -- they wanted a petition of a hundred supporters and they have

pelosi and obama. 1* this good for the democratic party to align themselves with something that could potentially turn into a nightmare? >> that's morbid. i think we are on their anniversary too. very sad, very sad. >> i don't think they will have them. i think what you were saying there are a lot of anti-government people there, but you will see a lot of signs like that. the tea party have that market cornered. the tea party is like, they never talk about the wall street ceo's and no one has indicted them and they probably should. there are anti-government people there. they are like, no, we are getting enough of this. let's focus on the fad cats in wall street. i love bloomberg's comments that this is hurting our tourism. if he had gone there everyone there is tourists. they are giving that area much more business than ever. not a big tourist destination. >> who is supposed to indict the people on wall street?

it is the justice department. >> i am not saying that these people aren't totally confused. i am not saying that. >> i want to address this. every time i see pictures i see people sleeping in ducati park or wherever. it is like they move from their couch. >> i am noticed now by kids at the airports. they will lie on the carpet by the gate and they nap. it must be the aterol and video games. they play video games in the morning and then are cat tau tonic all day. >> that's not protesting, that's camping, right? it is camping. >> when i was a boy you were not allowed to sleep.

>> i was watching them walk and while they were walking they were texting. they were not even -- they were not cheering. everybody was like this. >> all of them were like that. >> i want to go to one more in new york on saturday. >> they don't understand. >> they don't understand. >> we're not here to get anything. >> we're not here to get anything. >> we're here to give everything. >> we're here to give everything. >> we're here to give everything. >> we're here to give everything. >> we're here to give everything. >> we're here to give everything. >> we're here to give everything. >> we're here to give everything. >> we're the people from whom you stole everything. >> we're the people from bhom -- from whom you stole everything. >> odd.

>> the whole thing is think for yourself, free speech, and then they repeat what the other guy. >> think for yourself. >> as a professional agitator, what is he thinking not bringing a megaphone? that is rule number one. you bring that on the carry on. >> somebody said the whole point of this is the human microphone so people repeat it and everybody else can hear it, but if you can repeat it you can hear it. i don't understand. it makes every sentence twice as long. >> try to say one thing before we crucify these kids. >> i'm being won over by your sympathetic gestures. have you some guys who got $10 million for running merrill lynch into the ground. i don't think he feels bad. but have you the used car sales men and they were aware there was criticism and they were like, look, i am not the normal, blah, blah, blah. i think it is time they had at least a little bit of self-conscious shame.

at the very least they were less proud of their job. >> what does any of this do? >> it makes them more self-conscious. >> it doesn't do anything. >> they can feel as shameful as they want. the behaviors and practices will remain in tact. they will never change. do you know what i mean? >> i don't know if you have ever been ashamed. >> i have absolutely been ashamed. >> have you ever seen his act? at the ind -- at the end of every act you are ashamed. >> do you know what i'm saying? what is that going to do? >> they are little kids. >> that's the point. we are focusing on kids. children. walking around wall street. they don't have a clear

message. this group is ripe to be exploited. that's the point. it is being exploited. we can see groups like code pink go down there. they are being exploited. that's the bottom line. >> are you pro exploitation? >> what are you talking about? >> these are not kids. they are in their 20s. they are not children. >> they are behaving like children. >> i would say the average age is 18 or under. i have seen the pictures and i have seen their faces. they can string sentences together most of them. >> the fact is, it is not -- none of it is going to matter. the last time protesting meant anything, hoffa made a difference in some circumstances. >> it won't matter if they don't let people representatives -- >> they have an opportunity --

a lot of people are graph tateing -- graph tateing and they said geraldo was a supporter of theirs. and they will not even let them speak. they will not let them shape their message. it is total chaotic gathering, public gathering. it is not even a protest. >> i did see al sharpton there. so you are here because are you mad at rich people, and you have a 14 trillion their into office. the au dis a cri ty -- the audacity of the movement. >> as we have all seen it is not the politicians' movement it is a bowel movement and we have the pictures to prove it. >> i can't believe you used that joke. >> i am interested in your tatoo before we take a break. >> it is on the belly button. >> i lot the belly button.

>> i was talking about the notion that the rich can get us out of debt. we have a $14 trillion debt, but you need 14,000 billionaires and they would have to give all of their wealth which we don't 1r* 14,000 and they provide jobs. there is a notion to get rid of the rich, we will all be rich and move to buckingham palace and will have homes and it will be great. >> what is great about the tatoo is you imagine the guy who went to, i don't know, barcelona and got the asian tatoo that has no idea what it says. >> i have plenty of those. >> look, there is a gun. >> tofu, is that like a food? >> is that going back the drunk and shameful thing. >> did you really get a tatoo with tofu? >> i have them being eaten by

a jellyfish here. >> eaten by a jellyfish? >> oh my god. >> amazing. >> does being a human rights attorney mean you have a right to eat humans? brooke goldstein discusses the latest book. you are a monster. what does jerry brown think about open firearms? he lost the ability to process the thoughts.

she wanted tokyo gripped, but got the drift. so claims the michigan woman who says the trailer to ryan gossl ny g's later thriller was misleading and was expecting more thrills. so she did what any crazy person would do. she sued the film's distributor where they promoted the film to where it is similar to the fast and the furious. she expected a fast and furious knock of yo, but -- knockoff, but it has very little contriving in the motion picture. despite them giving a refund, she is hoping they will go class action allowing all to punish the perveyors of the trailers. speaking of misleading, look at the following preview of this upcoming attraction.

>> the name of the movie? "sex and the city 3". >> which one was she? >> just one of the off spring. you know, kind of talks like this. >> she is just a big kid. >> samantha. >> miranda. i'm sorry i cheated on you. >> whether -- what are we doing? we have a story. is this girl bonkers or bril -- or brilliant? >> she is an idiot. it is disgraceful. the movie promoted anti-sametic notions. lady, this lawsuit is going to do more harm to jewish people than anything they did in that movie. it is awful. she is an idiot. >> can't apply this reasoning to anything like from dinner to dogs?

>> yes, if you don't enjoy something, sue. we pay taxes to the king of hollywood, the king and queen and the whole hollywood monarch key. if you don't get your money's worth sue them. >> he kwan vince -- he convinced me. >> let's occupy sin gnaw. -- cinema. >> it is really intense. >> sorry, lady, there wasn't enough action in the movie. the part where the guy stomps the guy's head. >> spoiler alert. >> i don't even know what it is about. >> it is a good movie? >> i am getting a silk jacket. >> it is about a sexy man that drives a car around. albert brooks shows up and things get sexier. >> it is like "fast and feuar qus yus."

>> brooke, you are an attorney, could a class action suit actually happen? >> no, it cannot. >> i don't see the basis of the complaint. >> you asked me the question in such a mechanical way. >> i will put my lawyer cap on. there is no basis to this complaint. unless someone actually yelled fire in a crowded theater. there is no basis for insightment to violence. you are free to be a bigot in this country, unfortunately. >> yay! >> i haven't seen the movie so i can't comment -- >> i want them all to myself. >> he is a guy who happens to have curly hair. i won't ruin it, but he does bad stuff. >> you already ruined it for me.

>> they call me blah, blah, blah. >> the only time they talk about jew yish -- jewish things is when they talk about anti-seem ma tich -- anti-seem terrorism. >> greg, open your eyes. >> here is another spoiler. carrie mullah -- carrie mulligan shows up with your haircut. >> what's with you and your album. good lord. >> halfway serious here. >> who is yokay? >> is that a japanese guy? >> i don't know. i don't even know what i was saying. before i move on, why can't you sue the critics like peter

hammond? >> you know this was a mr. show skit. there was a movie that came out and the public didn't like it. they sued hollywood and then the judge's verdict was that everyone in america has to watch this film. now you can't -- actually there is a list of sketchs that became reality, and now that is number 13. >> you have a lot of free time, my friend. >> what was your question? >> i don't remember. >> peter hammond, -- >> you can't sue for someone's opinion. >> but that guy clearly likes every single movie. and he writes one sentence. i don't think he is real. >> i disbre. -- i agree. >> gotta do. do you have a comment on the show? e-mail us.

or call 212-562-swoun -- 1010. >> tonight's half time report is sponsored by zombie. the reanimated corpse seen in horror fiction. largely drawn from "light of the living dead." thanks, zombies.

welcome back. let's find out if we have anything wrong so far.

for that we go to john devore. >> i feel mad with power right now. >> excellent. >> what color would you say your sweater is, greg? >> like, i guess, a light blue? >> wrong. it is orange blush. let's talk about -- and i looked that up. it is a blush. it is an ocean blush, i'm sorry. let us go to occupy wall street. a lot of you guys were coming down hard on it. i have some questions and i would sincerely like to ask. first with gavin, how would you shame wall street? you were buffing the protesters, but at the same time, you were talking that these fat cats should be shamed. how would you shame them? >> an aerial photo, and then what he did during his time at merrill lynch, and what his bonus was, that kind of stuff.

>> joe, would you say the protests ever influenced any political movement in history? >> well, john, truth be told, i really wasn't listening to most of the segment. i was waiting to slam greg's book title. but now is my chance to redeem myself. i do believe the protests have made changes in history. i don't believe they have made changes in the last 40 to 50 years. i don't think cash -- i think at that time period they were talking about if police got out of hands. and now we are. any real change and it is proven over and over again it comes with violence and there is no way a real uprising could ever happen in this country. they would have the military on the street so far it would be over. >> the l.a. riots they took innocent cops, and they had a blip of a beating and the

riots got the innocent cops back on trial and in jail. it is an empowering story where you could be wrong and get people in jail. >> i want to take this over to brooke. hello. >> here is a fun number. you all know that 99% -- the 99% of americans -- you seem a little nervous. >> i am not done, brooke. 99% of americans represent one -- 1.43% of humanity. >> how do you feel about that, brooke? >> no, that's just a fun fact. that's a fun number. you were trying to point out the huh poke craw see of the tea party, of the occupy wall streeters by claiming they can't indulge in corporate products and at the same time rail against corporations. would you say the tea party would be guilty of any of those huh poke craw sees?

>> no comment. >> that is such a broad, vague, ambiguous question i don't have time to answer. i don't know the tea party enough. what do you have greens the tea party? >> there are two movements that are equatable. they are grassroots government for the tea party and occupy wall street. would you say that on it be fare for a hippie like me to claim that the tea party shouldn't use public roads if they hit the government? >> no. >> that's fair. >> are you expand on that? >> bill? >> that's greg. >> excellent job on everything. >> thank you. no one ever said that to me before. >> greg, i am getting riled up by wall street. so we will move on from that and go to drive. i want to confirm some quotes. gavin? >> yes. >> if you don't enjoy

something, sue. did you say that? >> yes, anything. >> brooke -- >> it is a checklist. >> you are free to be a bigot in this country. >> correct. >> you did say that? >> yes. can i do this next time when andy is gone? i would be really good at it. >> would you be good at it? >> i would. >> greg, pete hammond, is he a film critic or is he not? >> i don't know, is he you? >> no. i am just trying to get the facts here. i am just trying to get things straight. >> are you supposed to find the facts and throw them in our faces. >> i am just trying to create a conversation here. there were actually no facts in that entire segment i watched. >> there was not a single fact that was made anywhere in the entirety of the first two segments. >> really?

>> john, in your defense brooke cannot replace you. she wouldn't be out of the hair and make up chair in time. that is a cruel thing to say. >> i was defending you. >> brooke was coming by the occupy wall street and was trying to forge a connection. just trying to see if there was anyway toy -- to equate the tee party. >> i have a fact 4. brooke's documentary, 2006, the making of a martyr, it is about a palestinian kid being made to become a suicide bomber. yet the trailer indicated it was a taylor swift musical comedy. and that my friend is man strus. -- money monstrous. >> thank you, bill. i learned one thing and that is i miss andy levy. >> you are a good man. >> i will give uh c, c plus.

how is that? >> i think a b because he comeld me. do you have to be a miserable person with a damaged background to be a stands up comedian? joe derosa talks about his new book. and should porn be banned in prisons and prisons be banned in porn? either question excites me.

can they turn your to the on to -- tot on to pot? i speak of certain lollipops. a place in new york, the sweets are sparking outrage like something that sparks outrage, perhaps an outrage sparker. they are calling it is ring pot, seen here on sale in local stores a new low. said one councilman, quote, we

are already dealing with a high amount of drug abuse and drug activity to have a licensed store sell this to kids is ignore -- ignorance and irresponsible. the product on sale at a thousand stores across the country promotes the legalization of the drug. he said this while completely nude. let's discuss this in the -- >> lightning round. >> that was quick. brooke, you fro -- you pro tekt children. >> and you like pot. >> and as much as i love it -- >> are you actually enjoying it now. >> the state has a legitimate interest in restricting the ability of miners to have access to synthetic pot. it can roll is it up and mick mim they are participating in unlawful activity. with the candy, goods luck. -- good luck. it is going to destroy the commercial viability.

>> that's not true. >> joe, couldn't you make the same argument for your damaging, damaging comedy? >> it hurts worse when i see the insult on the tele prompter. i just have to sit here. >> i get to remove it from the prompter. i don't know why that is there. i have it in front of me here. >> i wish i could have a preview of my slap. >> i was saying i needed to be stopped for years. >> you are notorious leanne tie drugs so this must offend you. >> it orts hurts me very much. it hurts me very much. it does offend me. i think these lollipops are a disgrace. i ran the same campaign when they did the tequilla lollipops in the 80s. shut up. i am not on anything. i haven't done drugs in years. >> now he will tell us about

his strip. >> i think you are the only person at this table that has children. >> i have two. >> if you were in a store with your kids -- >> when i was kid we had popeye cigarettes. we had chewing tobacco gum. >> i don't remember having tobacco in my mouth saying, i learned it from big league chew. >> remember the bubble gum cigarettes and you blow on them and powder came out. >> bill, remember the cool aide cocaine powder when you were a kid? it had no affect on your life. >> it was fun, but it was a gateway. this is not a problem. if you want to see a real marijuana candy issue, 2 to denver where they actually have marijuana in the candy. you take on the telltale bags

and you have one easy drug-filled device to smuggle through airports, so a friend tells me. >> i will make one quick point. this is why pot won't be legalized. the people who deal with pot always make it into some kind of joke. you can'ten scurj people to legalize it if you make it look like a piece of candy, right? >> i don't know jie. if you made candy beer cans, you would be in trouble. >> just smoke pot at home and shut up about it. it is like illegal aliens going, we have the right to be here, illegally and break the law. >> jack kevorkian went on the air and killed people, but before they said, just go on ahead and shut up. >> chinese immigrants don't do that. they just work. >> if pot is ever legalized it would be it is biggest -- it

is legal and you would say, so what. i have been buying it there for years. >> they come by your office and you say i want to do funny jokes. this is good for jokes. or this came in. if that is not legal, what is? >> wooy have to take a break. stay right there. we will be right back. what a tease.

so, a group of inmates, is there any other kind, in connecticut have begun a letter writing campaign to protest the ban of porn in state prisons. look at that. terrible stuff. they say -- every time i see that it makes me sick. >> it is outrageous. >> i can't believe you let the camera crew in your closet. >> it is not porn. it is a collection. >> those were vintage. >> the state says the ban is intended to approve the work environment for female staffers inadvertently exposed to the smut. they are willing to settle for

cable programming that displays new video in activities. don't you for get some of those? >> of course i do. there is not a right to display porn. there was a bunch of convicted prisoners who were convicted of child molestation. you have to question, what are they expressing that has to be protected by the first amendment. the first will be a balancing act by the judge. i think the judge will waive in the favor of prison. >> thank you for working with us. let's try and bring it back up by going to joe. >> make a funny joke. >> greg, i tell you this story -- this isn't about saying no to porn. it is about saying yes to rape. >> that's not funny.

>> in prison that's what is going to happen. i'm not jumping on you. i am just so passionate about this. >> sometimes we go over board and i -- they are taking something like this keeps down rape in prison. it really does. >> there is research that suggests that. >> i would -- >> i don't know it. >> i would say it would help cut down on sexual assaults in prison. for god's sakes, you are living in a cage and behind bars and eating three times a day. you are in physical danger constantly. can a guy have a couple of "hustler"? is that the end of the world. >> i disagree. why is that a right? if they commited a horrible crime they shouldn't get flankwii or clubhouse or "playboy" or my big backyard.

>> and it makes you more -- i don't know if you abstained from a long period of time, but it makes you a bad as and a heavy dude like dirty hairy. -- like dirty harry. they say "don't do that but it drains your manliness." he is amazing during that time. i have to admit i never thought of the rape thing. if you are looking at porn all the time, it may quell the need. if you don't want birds to your to your garden, you have the sun plow better seeds out here. it may be training them -- their horny muscle may be getting big bigger. they have been making love to nothing at all. and then walking through the cafeteria and thinking what they saw. and then thinking it would be perfect in socks.

>> coming up -- >> there is a debate about that whether it accentuates it. >> lets a go back to the point of a prison full of steve mcqueen. i don't think the guards want that. they don't want guys walking around. >> let's get back to something you said too. all you did was kill a guy. this guy can have porn and this guy can't? >> here come a hundred more shankings for what you have and i do. >> he should be allowed to. the qups who committed crimes especially felonies should be allowed. >> when we come back, a wrap up. and fox news .com slash red eye.

back to john devore for the post game wrap up. >> had a good time. i heard you got a private tour of the city at david and jerusalem, brooke. >> i did. it was courtesey of the foundation. i saw newly excavated site. >> quickly. >> thank you. big performance coming up. >> yes. it is this thursday in bethlehem, pa at the art center. >> gavin, name of the book. [inaudible] hair whitening story after story. >> i'm happy to have had a see seizure for you, greg. >> well done, john. thanks for filling in,