2011. i'm trace gallagher in for shepard smith. from all of us to you, have a great thanksgiving, o'reilly is next. >> o'reilly factor is on. tonight. >> bill: factor has compiled the funniest. >> general pao's chicken i don't think so. he is tangy and sweet. >> fiercest. >> let me tell you something. >> bill: most foolish lips of dennis miller spouting off this year. >> you are going to make me cry. >> all wrapped up into one amazing holiday edition. the best of miller factor style. >> just call me eddie. >> bill: i got it caution, you are about to enter the no spin zone, the factor begins right now. captions by closed captioning services >> bill: hi, i'm bill

o'reilly. thanks for watching this special miller time edition of the factor. you can handle it? for the next hour, we will feature the d man and me your humble correspondent as we tackle some of the biggest issues facing america today. we begin with miller's thoughts on president obama and speaker of the house john boehner. >> obama, boehner, back and forth. are you tired of it yet? >> well, listen, the other night when i watched barack obama, i was reminded, bill, that he has led a rich man's life. he he just never had to do any of the messy earning. he has always been on other people's dimes. he has led a much richer life than me. i like boehner and the green lantern tie. i like him coming over top of the trump card there if i was boehner i would get more authentic and start smoking like lloyd bridges in airplane. i would keep firing them out, we are screwed here, get in trouble. do something here. >> it looks like i picked the wrong week to quit smoking. >> too cool for me. boehner should have a reverse debt telethon where we start

the telethon with 14.5 trillion up on the board and then for the 24 hours we work back from there the simple fact is we are spending too much. the president makes a nice speech but at the end of the day we still got to stop spending. he is smooth at it i think we ought to have a prompter tax. maybe we can get out of the hole. >> in the next 100 days i will learn to go off the prompter and joe biden will learn to stay on the prompter. [ laughter ] >> i think president obama is taking a massive hit here. i'm looking at all the poll numbers. >> sure he is. >> bill: all the poll numbers roll in. it's about leadership. it isn't about the issue anymore. it's about the people saying you just can't get it done. >> i have got to give you credit. you are one of the most open-minded guys on him. you held out for a long time because i think you believe in giving guy an honest bounce. i know you think he is bright. guess what, i'm not getting it off him anymore. he is a little too on citizen nent. he has got to change the template of the game here. is he not going to. is he not going to budge. i think that's going to mark him as history as one of those guys who was not -- with the

situation. >> all right. >> the situation starts ebbing and flowing you have got it flow with it too intractable and it's going to bite him in the tail. >> i think the senate deserves to be able to go home as soon as we can. and for me personally i have been here for a long time. i have a home in nevada. [clearing throat] i haven't seen in months. my pomegranate trees are, i'm told, blossoming and pomegranates on them. i have some fig trees and roses and stuff that i haven't seen. >> bill: the rumor is that you wrote that for reid so he would say it and then you could mock him afterward. is that true? [ laughter ] >> harry is so choked up about the pomegranate trees at this point at least intellectually speaking he is considered to be existing in a vegetative state. those aren't plants in his garden is he talking about. those are his friends. >> yo, what up? >> that's his peers, okay?

he acts like is he maximus coming back to its vineyard after roman wars or something. he is adult presided over a wiley coyote bill where we have gone off the cliff. cartoon strip dictates we don't fall right now. >> beep beep. >> that's exactly where we stand. you listen to him. he was -- when he was young. i swear to god he was dropping his left. he sounds absolutely adult. >> get up out of the [bleep] >> he makes mr. potato head come off like stephen hocking at that point. >> i have to agree with you, miller, why anybody in the middle of this intense debate would talk about pomegranate plants in his home and he has got to get back there when the country has a 14.5 trillion-dollar debt. >> at this point, half the pomegranates think is he an idiot, okay? they ask for a balanced thing and the republicans say okay, we want a balanced budget amendment and they say anything balanced except that, anything but that we want

balanced. not that balance. >> bill: i don't know. the stuff looks, you know, if somebody were coming here from mars, they would say o'reilly, you and miller made that stuff up. no it's true. >> true, true. >> bill: all right. now, do you know who c.j. wicker sham is? do you know who he is? >> wasn't that a nic cage film >> not the bees. >> that was the wicker man. i don't know who. >> is he a kid. 21 years old. spear fisherman in florida. is he spearing the fish, all right? and blood is going all over the place. and his little bull shark comes zooming in and takes a chunk out of c.j.'s leg. he is all right. he is in the hospital. and then peta takes that incident and put up the full screen. and says that pay back is hell because the shark got c.j. and peta doesn't like people going fishing. what do you say? >> well, i say, listen, i

don't want to be too obvious and say they jumped the shark here. [scary music] >> because they didn't. they jumped the shark when they started comparing meat slaughter houses to ought auschwitz. i haven't listened to a thing they have said since that these people have turned into cat lady. >> meow. >> they are way out there. it's gray gardens. they are a little whacked. nobody takes them that seriously anymore. you hear pete attachment i nod my head to get away from the sea. they are a little nuts right now. >> you want to get nuts? come on. let's get nuts. >> they say we do this to get publicity. we want everybody to be vegan. and so we can do this because it's satire. it draws attention to ourselves. we run around naked. we do all kinds of things. but it's the greater good is served by getting people away

from eating fish and meat. don't you die if you don't eat anything? i thought you died if you didn't eat anything? >> well, you either die or get so asphyxiated by low blood sugar that you start making moron ads like peta does gore god sake. >> bill: maybe this is right. maybe they don't have enough nutrition to think straight. >> protein and beginning go ginkgo. >> let me school you. you are a meteorologist. i'm j.d. i'm a trial lawyer but i know that radiation comes across the ocean. it is dissipated by wind current and salt spray. but it is reaching the shore of california. >> what say you? >> first off, i have got to say i can't divulge what i'm going to say tonight. i'm getting zapped with so much radiation in cali in not thinking clearly. last night it made me so crazy

i almost watched nancy grace's show. >> don't worry. everything is fine. >> but not quite. [ laughter ] >> bill: so you are -- >> all right. >> bill: what do you think is behind nancy grace believing that radiation -- they are going to be mutants in the street of santa barbara? what's going to be behind them? >> behind nancy grace is a facade in front of the facade is a facade called nancy grace. that's what's happening there. all i know is t looks like the radiation has gone all the way back to new york if i'm to judge jesse watters' tie correctly. >> something like that. >> bill: coming up the sage of southern california has a few things to say about vice president al gore. >> this is a rollie polykid whose old man goes up to the hill and leaves him alone. he is the like the eloise of the willard. >> later, san francisco wants to ban goldfish. what's that all about? miller with the story. we know a place where tossing and turning

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>> bill: continuing with the best of miller. what does he say about vice president al gore? hide the children. we had al gore comparing green to racism. >> my generation asked older people why is it okay to discriminate against people because their skin color is different and when they couldn't really answer that question with integrity the change really started. and we still have racism, god knows. but it is so different now. and so much better. and we have to win the conversation on climate. >> with all due respect to the former vice president, is he a strange guy, isn't he? just the presentation. we still have racism but it's much better. it's like, you know, we still have maple syrup but this is better. >> listen, this is a rollie polykid whose old man goes up to the hill and leaves him

alone. is he like the elbow would he see of the willard and he spends the rest of his life trying to be relevant and he falls short quite frankly. almost like a mantra now on the far left to bring up racism about everything. if you don't like ketchup you are a racist. it's boring and tedious. >> wee while we are in the accusation realm let me say this about al gore. when he was in college at yale he and tommy lee jones invented the virus. it went wrong. some experiment went horribly wrong. i think gore if i'm a racist gore invented the virus. >> we have mortality rate in the low 20's. >> obama biden ticket needs the union people so the vice president did address the union in this way. roll the tape. >> don't any of you, by the way, and you guys vote

republic this isn't political. i'm not supposed to say this. [shouting] [ applause ] >> let me put it this way. don't come to me if you do. you are on your own, jack. >> bill: that's that tie combination he looked like mo green out there from the godfather. >> you are on your own, jack. >> little did those teamsters realize that jimmy hoffman's body is buried in jimmy hoffa's hair plugs. >> i got to do what i got to do. >> a cock sure hack to famous everybody's status but knew his own iq the first day he was able to apply for that knowledge. he is one of those guys who spends his whole life saying let me tell you something. >> let me tell you something else. >> and then he never tells you something. is he a functionary. he is a lap dog for barack

obama. sends him out to curry favor with some of these individual groups they are going to need to amalgamate. the nonunion members who want to form a union because the whole thing is not working, we are not getting it anymore. >> bill: all right. those thinly veiled reference was interesting. if you don't vote for us, don't come, you know, don't complain, because we are in the tank for you. and the other party isn't. i thought that was quite interesting. >> yeah. well, biden knows where his bread is buttered. it would be fitting if he went out and did all this dirty work and sumly indicated and kissed butock and told them we have got to get rid of you because hacker turned into, joe, you have got to go. maybe it happens a second time through. who knows? >> no. they will still together. love will keep them together. ♪ love ♪ love will keep us together. >> bill: miller, everybody out there in santa barbara talking about this debt crisis, aren't they? >> let me ask you, this bill.

i always pretend when they talk tse figures like you said with rove and it's going round and round 14 trillion, do we actually owe somebody that money? >> yeah. >> and if we do, guess what, don't pay them. >> numbers 9/10ths of your account. >> tenth don't pay them. >> i said to my kid. >> let me answer the question, all right? so miller says don't pay them, stiff them. >> i'm excited. >> then nobody will lend us money and this government, this is how crazy it is, miller. the federal government and the state of california where you live run on borrowed money. they don't have any money. for anything. all right? so, barack obama will be hitchhiking down pennsylvania avenue because they couldn't put gas in his limo unless they borrowed money from china. so you stiff the people lending you money, nobody is going to lend it and everything grounds to a halt. get it? >> billy. numbers smunbers.

listen. [ laughter ] >> you can't drum the united states out of the equation. they have to lend to us until the end of time. you know why? >> bill: they are not going to do it. >> billy? >> bill: the chinese and everybody else is going to buy our bonds if we default on them, miller. and the same thing in california. >> all i know when the president comes out and says i have got to spend 3.7 trillion to save you a trillion, i'm thinking what is secretary of treasury bernie madoff now? these guys run better pyramid schemes than the egyptians for god's sake. >> walk like egyptian. >> not smart enough. >> let's parole madoff have him get the ponzi scheme going and get the money back for us. >> you. >> madoff is the key. >> coming up, miller sounds off on the miller wedding. you don't want to miss this one. tltltltle emotional here? aren't you getting a little industrial?

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>> bill: welcome back to this special miller time edition of "the o'reilly factor." prince william and cathy middleton are settling into married life after swank wedy last april. dennis miller weighed in from his perch in southern california. >> bill: royal wedding, miller. big fan of the royal wedding. indicate middle ton. -- kate middleton. >> crashed the monarchy. i don't think he will ever let happen to that poor girl what happened to his mom. let's be honest i watched that wedding and thought my god this poor girl looks like she is being led away to the tower of london by alfred e. newman. that one never felt good to me. this one actually feel as little good. i would keep charles away from that toast afterwards at the reception because is he so nuts with the global warming now he holds up a glass of

bubbly is he going to start crying into it talking about the co 2 bubbles snapping to the surface in the glass. >> bubbles, bubbles. everywhere but not a drop to drink. >> how it's all going to end by the end of the day. you know what, bill? by the way, i see where president obama, who is not going, sent over a gift and they were a little disappointed because he gave them an obama care waiver and they said that's what he gives everybody. why didn't he get us something special? i sent him over. they were registered with car carbell's i got him a cookie push. >> hello, i'm british. >> i wonder if you got them something out of the factor gear store like ear muffs. >> we got him the rain stops here umbrella for london ♪ [ laughter ] >> another rainy day in london town. >> bill: that's what we got them.

okay, now, miller and i had dinner a few weeks ago and we ate in this she she restaurant. i picked up the tab. i forget what you had to eat. it was very reasonable. we were eating in a reasonable fashion. >> i think we had scallops. >> bill: some of that stuff. we had belini. >> there we have it our belini. >> it's a drink from venice. a great drink. >> bill: is that right? no idea. >> i will educate you. i'm david nebit >> that was almost bound to happen. >> bill: do you eat junk food and if so do you want it taxed? >> i don't usually like junk food when i watch a person like meme roth on your show last night. >> you know i'm a fan of the factor your waste size has not changed since college, come on. >> makes me want to get a bloomen onion and shove it down my gulley. meme i'm sorry you have a fat

grandma but take the bag of fiddle faddle out of her meaty paw and get out of my life. i don't want to know you. i find you totally urksome who is going to pay for that in the medicare program? what's the sense of all these people lecturing me what they want me to eat so i can stay alive another four years and have idiot strangers telling me how they would like me to navigate my day-to-day life? leave me alone for god's sake. you eat what you want she is having a coke and steak a week. why what if they come to her and say you can't have a coke and a steak a week. right now i dig fat kids. i like watching the tsunami sumo babies on youtube. leave me alone. >> you are going to get sick miller and topple over and meme is going to have to pay for it? >> half the people who i look who are health food addicts look sickly to me. all right? let's start taxing health food. somebody forcing a burger down somebody's straw.

>> what are we serving tonight? chicken or chicken? >> we begin with a big steak dinner at the white house for president hu jintao. >> miller and i were not invited. that doesn't mean we can't comment on it. hu jintao. >> i don't know. we got off on the wrong foot. they think they are superior to us to begin with did we really is to have biden on the tarmac? for god's sake he hits the bottom of the steps and joe is asking him if godzilla is as big in real life as is he in the movies? [screams] >> then he starts asking if he can help him get the other iron chef's autographs. i don't know if you saw it today, when they had that thing outside the white house, but obama's dog bo got on the white house lawn. biden starts screaming who let the dog out ♪ who let the dogs out ♪ roof, roof, roof, roof. >> secret service had to

tackle biden. biden who uses kung fu skills to get them out of there. japan. he said they are different? >> it's mortifying what biden is doing. >> we missed all that miller. somehow the white house press corps didn't see any of that i'm glad you picked it up for us. >> i have a better grade of cable than you. i have the titanium package. >> any idea what's on the menu at the state dinner? what do you serve when the chinese people come over? you can't have pee king duck because it's not pee king anymore. it's beijing. [scream] >> truth told hue jing talk could rather be back at the comfort inn in his pa jammies with a mcrib sandwich. what do you do? he has got to go do it. he goes over to speaker of the house boehner. used to be in bodeville together under the name you would try and then i see where he brought everybody with him. he brought his top military

guy, general sao. some people question his cowardice they say general sal's chicken. i don't think so. he is alternating tangy and spicey and sweet. >> that's why i did the segment is to give you the menu jokes. but i love the panda jammies. we could sell them on the factor. we could sell them on bill o'reilly.com. all right. >> ron paul on miller's radar. and we'll let the d man sound off. also, what does miller have to say about vladimir putin? a hilarious miller coming up. i was taking a multivitamin... but my needs changed...

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>> bill: continuing now with miller time and san francisco's latest idea to ban goldfish. we are not kidding. the d man had a field day with that one. san francisco is like the nanny state of all time. >> yeah. >> bill: and they don't want gold fish, gold fish. >> yeah. >> bill: cute, adorable gold fish within the city limits, miller. what is this all about? >> what's next after goldfish? cheetoes? pringles and then fun i couldn't knows? then the whole thing comes down around the head. those gold fish. i thought it was the snack food ♪ goldfish. >> san francisco is going to hell in a hand basket. you can't circumcise up there you can't go to mcdonald's and super size. you can't criticize. all you can do is row

manhattan size about the urge to if a that the size. that's what's happened up there. they have got so open-minded pretty soon you have mussolini hanging upside down from the golden gate the crow is pecking out his eyes, for god's sake. >> 'ow. >> stay out of it how did they get involved in all of it? >> from what i understand the city council of san francisco believes that the marketing of gold fish is cruel because they remove the gold fish from the water and they put it in a tank. and that is -- you can't -- the gold fish wants to be free. wasn't there a movie about gold fish born free ♪ born free >> blurb, blurb, blurb. >> gold fish may not want to live in san francisco right now it's such an uptight place. did i read today in the san francisco chronicle. can you still circumcise a gold fish in san francisco.

if you have ever seen that the mile comes in and tiny and use exacto knife. >> you know what the tragedy of all of this is? >> what is the tragedy? [ laughter ] >> bill: the homeless gold fish are in san francisco. >> exactly. >> bill: now, ron paul, next president of the united states, miller, what do you think? >> i always love it when they say he won the straw poll. i don't know much about polls. isn't that like he drew the short straw. he is the one that is going to have to run against obama and get his hand handed to him. >> paper. >> ron paul, some of it makes sense to me. increasingly if we're not going to fight these wars to win, billy. his idea of not only building wall but building one around the whole country and making this a big cookie cutter is starting to sound good to me at some point. >> cookie.

>> ron paul wants to stay home. if we are not going to go croak these bad guys summarily in these wars, yeah, let's bring it home and everybody stay here. i don't think ron paul has a chance in 2012. it's just some of his devotas are weird. a worst reflection on them he does. he makes sense to me sometimes but some of his acolytes bring that baggage with him. >> bill: finally some chinese people are coming to the white house again. i don't know. this i'm glad you flagged me to it. >> listen. it has nothing to do with us inviting them. they invite themselves now. china owns so much of this country. it's like done corlione telling you his daughter needs a wedding cake. you jump. biden is over there with a platter lighting the sternum if they want him to. by the way i can't believe they let biden near these guys in china. the one guy the vice premier his name is wang keeshian.

>> what's your name again? >> my name is wang cheeshen. >> the last guy was die bingo. >> bingo. [ laughter ] >> bill: i really don't know what to say to that, miller. what does miller have to say about being snubbed from a recent california visit from prince william and kate middleton? right back with that. tell them what else fedex does. well we're now using more electric trucks and lower emission planes. we even offer a reusable envelope. now, can't we at least print on the back sides of used paper? what's the executive compensation list...? [ male announcer ] sustainable solutions. fedex. solutions tha matter.

>> bill: thanks for staying with us. i'm bill o'reilly. with us the special miller time factor. a couple months ago prince william and kate middleton crossed the pond to tour california. imagine, they came this way and couldn't find any time to visit with our pal dennis miller. he is still hurt. >> i was stunned, miller, stunned. >> yeah.

>> bill: when prince william and princess kate or lady kate or whatever kate she is shows up in santa barbara where you live to play polo and i don't see you. where were you? >> i understand it completely. do you think this kid, one month into his wedding is going to let that girl be privy to my hotness? do you think is he going to risk it all and let her meet me. then she thought she had a fairy tally i have got nothing. miller is the answer over there. >> bill: purely personal on the part of prince william not wanting to put you in proximity of his new bride. >> billy, i couldn't attend that day anyway. i had bigger fish to fry. barney frank was doing a slip and slide demo up here that i had to attend to ♪ you run ♪ you slide ♪ hit the funk and take a dive. >> i'm not impressed. >> he ripped his wet suit on a

submerged sprinkler head and tore it down the right haunch. we laughed, we laughed. >> bill: that's just a lie, miller. it's just not true. >> try to avoid saying something that no one will believe. [ laughter ] >> you know this guy putin. >> i know putin. >> i don't recognize him without his shirt off. [ laughter ] >> he has a brigades. kind of -- you know, hold it. y.o. there is putin there he is he again. cold in russia but putin doesn't seem to know that. >> you have this believe that you are better than us. >> no. >> anyway, he has got -- oh, the poor horse. anyway, he has got a brigade of ladies who love him in russia and they go around washing cars for putin. we're not kidding. this is true. >> yeah. wow. i believe it. it's that linguist chick from the show two weeks ago who became a citizen.

>> i just want to say thank you to this country. >> that's not morina. that's not her. >> i'm sorry. listen. it's nice to know that the warrior people that were the russians able too hold off len nongrad are now able to depend on bake sales and car washes. >> bill: going to be the kgb ladies of siberia. now they are raising money because they don't have any money. instead of doing car washes. you think our economy is bad. look what's going on over there. >> putin can't afford a shirt. and these ladies are the economic of the whole country. >> let's get into the new congress. these people going crazy in washington. john boehner crying again today. nancy pelosi giving him a big gavel and a hug and blessing him and whatever else she did. yesterday, did you catch yesterday when nancy pelosi said -- >> deficit reduction has been a high priority for us.

it is our mantra. pay as you go. >> she is a bad dame. and you know what? she is a hack. and i am glad she is out of there what else is pelosi going to do now except stay in the house. if pelosi wasn't the speaker of the house, third in line to be the president or second in line to be the president of the united states, whatever it is, do you know what she would have been? she would have been a realtor on the san fernando valley pretending to be white wide eyed. i'm glad she is going back to am niment. >> bill: she comes from money. long political family in maryland. i don't know if she would have been a real estate agent. but perhaps you are correct. now what about boehner? >> she has no conscience. she has no conscience. she will look you right in the eye and, guess what? you will blink first. >> bill: i won't. she can't blink with all the stuff she has got in her forehead. so? >> get a kick in there, billy. can i say this about boehner?

it was the first time i watched the speaker of the house with the red and white and the flag over his shoulder and thought wow, his skin tone is closer to the red than the white for the first time in this country. i think it's a step forward. as far as the new house goes meet the new boss the same as the old boss ♪ meet the new boss ♪ old boss. >> 535 people up there. i would say 35 of them were whirl beaters other 3500 looking for career movement. >> that's what happens when worlds collide. ♪ >> bill: let's start with president obama, big speech today. >> this debate over budgets, and deficits, is about more than just numbers on a page. >> bill: i think it lasted four and a half hours. i'm not sure. almost like the movie the 10 commandments. intermission. ♪ ♪ >> the primary theme is got to

tax the rich. he does say we have to cut spending too. and you say? >> >> first off, i would like to be called eddy miller for tonight's show because i don't want to share a first name with kucinich. >> i understand. >> bill: wedy? >> just call me eddy? >> bill: all right, ed. >> listen, let's face facts, billy. we are dangerously near a tipping point in this country. some sort of continental divide line where what the dems and kucinich referred to as the working class, let's just say it as it is. there are some people in the working class that aren't working as hard as it used to be. the people who never get credit for it, the piggish overlords still like busting their tale and they want to get ahead. they have to deem how many people in the working class are helpless people who deserve help and how many are

clueless people that don't deserve the time of day? i think that's the time we are reaching in american history want to take care of the helpless. times are too tough. that's the point we are at. >> bill: the obama reversal on guantanamo bay. a lot of information for the american left. for the attorney general and for dennis miller. go. >> i heard you may be saying that holder should step down. billy, when you define the perimeter line at the bottom of the barrel as holder does, it's not that easy to step down. holder is in more over his head than a gay dwarf hitting on shack at this point. he is not going anywhere. i think he was a political favor. listen, i think it got ugly coming out of the south carolina primary between clinton and obama because they hinted the race card on clinton he hated that in a make good gesture since holder was the front man on othe mark rich pardon which looks really

ugly. got to keep him on the reservation. got to keep him quiet. he goes to obama and says do me a favor and give holder a job. like that nephew getting hired in casino. doesn't know how to run the floor but can't get fired because his dad is on the licensing committee. he is not going to get whacked. he knows where too many bodies are buried. >> you love -- didn't you? >> he might fall on his own sword if they present him with evidence saying listen if you don't do in this is what happens to you. holder is going nowhere for god's sake. holder ironically is the first attorney general in the history of the united states of america that might not make the cut at a public defender's office for god's sake. >> ladies and gentlemen of the -- -- jury. >> is he not going anywhere unless they force him out. they will force him out you be subtly. >> very interesting next time he has a press conference or interview for the interviewer to say guantanamo bay, what do you think about that because he can't have an answer. >> he thinks exactly what

barack obama tells him to think on any given day about that the president hasn't explained his reversal. >> he doesn't have to. holder might have to answer and he not going to answer because as far as wackies go. i am dracula. >> it's really good to see you. >> bill: coming up, what does miller think about the hamptons? >> what i don't dig is polo. >> what is that? like miniature golf meets the kentucky derby. what's happening there? emily's just starting out... and on a budget.

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>> bill: continuing with special miller time edition of the factor. polo matches and limousine liberals. summertime in certain circles of the hamptons long island, new york. the d man can stay silent no

more. >> are you a hamptons kind of guy, miller? >> well, lionel hampton, yeah, i always dug him. but if you are asking me if friday afternoon i'm going to go out and get in that death match traffic to go out to play a little croquet with sean colmes. >> sometimes you just need a good drink and a good hot dog. >> bill: you live in an affluent place in southern california where a lot of people are very similar to the people that watters talked to. do you mingle freely with them? how do you see the very wealthy? >> i dig the really wealthy. but i dig poor people, too. i dig people in the middle. i dig people. and then i don't like some people. and i don't judge it on the system of what they earn. >> bill: so people who like people are the luckiest people in the world? is that ♪ luckiest people.

>> you're going to make me cry. you are going to make me cry. >> bill: listen, what i don't dig is polo that's like miniature golf meets the kentucky derby. what's happening there. >> yellow ball passes red ball. fallen behind like a sack of potatoes. >> what about jesse standing next to nacho. was there a discrepancy. that guy's name is nacho. the women were calling him not so much. >> nacho! >> bill: president obama out on the road for the great american jobs act. and you say? >> listen, we can all play this game and i don't want to have the racessist dime dropped on me. this guy's first three years has been a mess. even democrats must know that on some level. it's an absolute mess. i have got to tell you, i was on vacation last week. i don't pay aas much attention as i usually do when i'm on

vacation. i'm off this guy completely. first off it's three strikes, billy, when he came in and said he would take public funding off the bat and he didn't i thought okay, he has trouble with the truth, that's fine. most politicians do. second strike is when he said he wanted unions in this card check thing to vote outloud. i said that's so anti-american when anybody has to vote outloud. i was against that i was willing to give him a third shot. i'm on vacation last week i see this stiff hoffa and he is up there talking about essentially threatening people calling them sob's obama can't track everybody down who uses his name in vain. then i hear that's in an actual intro deduction to obama. that obama came up right after that and he didn't have a sister soldier moment where he looked at him and i said i told you after gabby giffords shut up with that crap. i don't like barack obama anymore. you know why? he doesn't like me and 50% of america. is he not stick up for us. it's time for this guy to go next year.

is he inept and officially creepy after not chiding hoffa jr. for saying that for god's sake. >> bill: did you ever like him, miller? >> sure i did. how many months when i said i saw him in grant park that night and i thought about black kids in this country and how who he have had to look up to syringes in their asses to hit home runs and women in such misogynistic terms. i thought this is a great moment in this country to right a lot of wrong. i came out of the box. i didn't vote for him but i thought this could be a good thing. around six months in i began to get it is he inept. not that good at it chicago thug. the other day when he didn't defend me against an idiot like hoffa, he just lost me. i'm voting him out next year to the best that i can which is one vote. >> all right. so, look, you see the chaos in egypt and how the president is handling it. your thousand? >> in the spirit of solidarity

with freedom fighters all over the world, bill, i have broken out my dennis miller zone listening fez. i want to say this doubles nicely when the boehner gas canisters start flying. it's an air filtration system. listen, i like freedom fighters everywhere. but you have got to figure out who is next in line over there next people in line punch of kids want to get this country together, i'm willing to let it play out for a while. if it's a bunch ever morons called the muslim brotherhood who are an offchute of the dangerous spanky and our gang girl haters gang club. >> what if you say we form a new club and call it a he men woman haters club? [cheers] >> you have got to keep an eye on them. >> it's interesting you bring this up because if you look at the demonstrations, very few women, where are the women? do they have their own demonstrations somewhere? it's all guys.

>> you know where you see women voting and running polling booths? iraq. thank you, george bush. >> you are welcome. >> bill: more of the d man in a great miller block. saving the best for last. next. congratulations. congratulations. congralations. today, the city of charlotte can use verizon technology to inspire binesses to conserve energy and monitor costs. making communities greener... congratulations. ... and buildings as valuable to the bottom line... whoa !

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>> it's so outrageous for a much to pedestrian cal that kind of repugnant nonsense that i just gave up. and i hope and trust other people will as well. i can live without the new york times , that's for sure. >> did you cancel your subscription, as well? >> i knew he would. he hasn't been solid with the time since they canceled romadu they had to talk him off the ledge then because he loved that pooch. >> people can't just keep a secret. >> so i knew he would be out of there. but what does the times matter anymore? i line my parakeet cage with it and my parrot wouldn't take a dump for three months. the times has big problems. >> is that how your parrot talks, what you just did? >> that's my impression of my parrot squawking. did you like that? that's squawky, the parrot. >> so you raised point that no matter what a guy like krugman

says, it really doesn't matter. then should we ignore it? >> come on, krugman is a nerd out in principleston. nerd! >> and all of a sudden women dig him, guys are listening to him at the end of vanity fair as their hero. the fact is there's a nuclear winter coming for a guy like krugman and he ought to spin the globe and throw a dart at scandinavia because it hasn't worked and it's about could tom down, the curtain. if these guys hate america so much i guess they should look for another place. i think krugman is bugged he feels we have a culture where elite pass their wealth on to other kids and he doesn't like that unless its, of course, punch salsrurgirger at the times. >> he inherited the newspaper. do you believe that americans

should do what donald rumsfeld did, just walkway or is it the freedom of speech thing, they can say what we want, walk away but be respectful? >> he they are already doing. that the times has circulation problems like a sumo wrestler in a thong on the top of everest. come on, they are going under. >> a sumo wrestler in a shong -- that would be very cold. >> he would have constriction issues. it's consumer hitch based stuff. >> and muslims, illegal in france? >> listen, i think they ought to give the french government some credit pause truth be told, frenchmen would rather see every woman in the culture to walk around in lineger ray, so just asking them to peel away everyday gash instead of

dressing up as a canned ham on halloween. it seems to me they are going halfway. and i'm not sure you want to see some of these guys outside of the burka, so be careful what you wish for. but i just want to say this, the men make all the decisions in that world, the muslim world. who dresses women like this? can you imagine coming over to vegas and going to a joint and saying we want all the women to dress like this? for god's sake, you would have an insurrection in this country. i don't understand guys, and this is why they blow stuff up because they aren't having enough sex because they dress their women up in this up tent, for god's sake. >> i think in the islamic culture, vegas isn't a big consideration. >>po-nn maybe it shouldm