>> bret tried to steal your thunder. not enough that washington muckety-muck. >> i'm not intimidated by bret -- what is his name? >> bret baier. >> i don't know him. is he on our network? >> that's fine. yes, he is. >> are you -- ♪ ♪ >> greg: hello, i'm the hobbitt-size host, greg gutfeld, andrea tantaros, suspenbobbeckel, eric bolling aa perino. it's 5:00 p.m. in new york. 2:00 p.m. in needles, callous. and this is "the five." the show is packed tighter than japanese subway. let's tack the truth. this show starts as soon as i stop thinking about unicorns. okay. done. ♪ ♪ >> greg: so i wanted last

night's debate to get ugly. how ugly? really ugly. we're talking joy behar after an all-night bender ugly. no such luck. still, it served as cliff note for the campaign. mitt played it safe even his training wheels wore a helmet. smoother than a shorty robe made of gravy. ron paul proves again for everything sensible thing he says he ads something kookie. like opening steak topped with necco wafers. ron, it's 2011. you can't be an isolationist in crowded phone bull, especially if it's crowded with nuts holding handguns. then newt defend his profits claiming he was a private citizen back then. that is like a cop saying yeah, i punched you, but i was off-duty. who won? america. that is the last debate. but let's not forget it's a great one and this is how democracy works. all the candidates endured more scrutiny and is now better known to voters than the mystery man the dems put

in the last edirection. can you seriously imagining in any other country? russia, it would be putin debating six other cardboard cut-outs of putin. china, what would they debate? how much we owe them? europe, they couldn't even afford the podiums. say what you want but this was a uniquely american experience, like the super bowl or vegan pet food. >> dana: they have that, owe know. >> greg: i know. i tried it. donald trump is going to join us in the next -- >> bob: wow! >> greg: try to control yourself. keep your pants on. any coverage of last night's debate that struck you as odd? , weird orbiter? >> dana: yes. i have been feeling nostalgic, because my old friend, "new york times," front page story about the debate. picture of newt gingrich. the whole story here. never once mentioned that fox

news was the host of the debate different mention any of our moderators. it's amazing what they can do with selective editing at the "new york times." >> greg: see, the "new york times," fox news doesn't exist. just like the midwest. >> dana: unless they have a negative article, then they know everybody's name and know how to spell it. >> greg: why do you think they did that? >> bob: why do they do it? fox got terrific terrific reviews from main stream media people. they did a terrific job. questions were good. they probed severity deeply. debate itself, there are certain debates that should make a difference. and move the needle. this one kept everybody standing in place. when you walked out you said i am where i started. >> eric: i noticed unplanned resignation at the times, too. did i not notice that? >> greg: i believe you're right. >> eric: what was that all about?

>> greg: got me on the spot. >> eric: editor, dana? >> dana: i don't know. >> eric: didn't they lose a high-profile editor? >> dana: someone who resigned to spend more time with his family? i saw something like that. >> bob: where are you going with this? >> eric: here is my point. i don't read this paper anymore. everything you need is "wall street journal." that's all you need. >> andrea: they have had fox envy for a long time. last night's debt bait was. great they had courage to ask questions that others haven't. the questions were unique. they went out of their way that they cross out fox picture and cross out the low ge of fox knew. -- logo of fox news. >> andrea: last night's debate was perfect. i thought it would be nasty. they went out of their way not to make it nasty. they didn't just sensationagize, pitting the candidate against each other.

fast and furious, we finally got questions about fast and furious, and answers which is about time. >> bob: the mistake they needed to make it uglier debate. >> greg: you're right. >> bob: romney, your description of him is right. that is why he will be a lousy general election candidate. he doesn't know what he stands for except for nice hair. he has nothing to say beyond that. newt on the other hand played it safer than he should have. bachmann, of course, threw her bombs in the middle of the room, but she had to. outside of that, do they think they are holding on to a lead? they are not. >> andrea: newt, i know why he didn't do it. >> eric: but he can do it and not throw the bombs. >> eric: he was spending the whole debate fending off a lot of attacks by everyone,

including some pretty tough questions. i think on the hare hand, mitt played it right. i said he should tack right. he played it so smart. he looked and sounded presidential. >> dana: you must have have -- >> eric: see what happened today? haley coming out, south carolina governor who has been a tea party favorite backing mitt romney. this guy has got it going on right now. >> dana: they did a lot of -- i think that the romney campaign has done something that gingrich campaign wasn't able to do, just because of the circumstances. which is lay groundwork in a lot of states. they talked to nikki haley for a long time and she made the decision on the merits who she thought would be the best conservative to wi and be the president. gingrich campaign hasn't had the organization or the money hasn't been able to lay that groundwork. so they are playing catch-up. i don't know if it's enough to get across. i think mitt romney explanation about how the free market work was solid.

you say he doesn't stand for anything and i thought that was good. newt gingrich showed he has a solid base of policy. >> greg: one person we haven't mentioned at all is rick perry. >> andrea: clearly he got debate coaching. >> greg: he seems looser, not saying much. that is like saying gore got looser. but i think, can we just roll the little, probably the most famous thing he said last night? roll it. >> let me tell you, i hope i am the tim tebow of the iowa caucuses. >> greg: that is like saying free lip gloss to teenager girls. sure to get applause. >> andrea: we're fox news hosts. >> bob: the guy could fill in for forrest gump. >> greg: hedy good. >> andrea: he did better. >> bob: better, but from what? anybody will do better from where they started.

romney he looked presidential and all of a sudden, he has ken doll looks and he can answer the free market stuff. god knows he should be able to talk about that. but the reality is he is a guy with obama healthcare plan and a guy who says she a progressive and he was for gay rights. that is not what the republican party isbout. >> andrea: from a tactical perspective, i thought romney did very, very well last night. i get the sense and i think other primary voters are getting the sense, conservatives this is turning into an arranged marriage. we have a walk and need the guy at the altar. we're not psyched about it. but i guess we learn to love him. >> greg: sometimes arranged marriages work. >> eric: do you know that? >> andrea: it worked with my aunt. >> eric: romney did sound presidential and he was the only one, or the one who most often went after obama's failed policies. that is frankly what most of the people on the right want to hear.

conservatives right now are going who can i vote for. two choices and neither one are conservative. i need someone to beat obama. >> bob: you spent three months on dump on romney and now you're accepting him. >> eric: allow me to say this again, whoever it is, anybody but obama. >> bob: i understand. nikki haley, the thing about south carolina is there is a problem with her and gingrich. it's been that way since she ran in the primary, number one. number two, she is not -- if mitt romney -- i mean newt gingrich can win in iowa, i don't care how many nikki haley you have, romney will be bludgeoned in south carolina. >> dana: can i say something about mitt romney and the other candidates, he can't help how he looks. you make fun of him for ken doll looks. greg can't help it that he is this ken doll barbie man of mystery. >> greg: i've lived with this all my life. >> dana: you can't comment on obama's looks but we can make fun of romney?

>> andrea: i think he looks like the president. that is one of the best thing he has going for him. but the problem is he is too stiff. they say he is like a used car salesman and answers don't come from the heart. >> greg: the ken doll is not about the looks but the functionality of the ken doll. fact he can't move -- if he gets the nomination it's against barack obama. it is like the cast of "america's next top model." good looking young men -- >> bob: he is going to try -- they say he turns, he turns his head like this. when he is talking to the staff. but -- >> andrea: that is -- >> bob: i'll take a shot every chance i get. >> dana: do it on the merits. >> bob: okay. he has nod answered a question on substance about the tour as governor. >> eric: obama's hair is getting very gray. have you noticed that? >> bob: he is working hard. unlike you have been. you can keep your hair, all you do is criticize. >> greg: we have to take a

break. i think newt probably run. he seems to reenergize the reenergizing force on the right. >> bob: last half of the debate he won. first half he was on the offensive a lot. he should have smacked bachmann back. why he let that woman get away with that, i don't know. >> andrea: "that woman." >> bob: that woman! >> greg: okay. so donald trump will join us after this break. hopefully bob won't storm off in a huff. plus, the students were suspended foronoring tim tebow. is that fair? we'll debate it. also, i'm hiring elves for my santa workshop. it's actually my basement. i'll be painting it red. send your e-mails to malia. mail --send your e-mail to thefive@foxnews.com. ♪ ♪ [ woman ] my boyfriend and i were going on vacation, so i used my citi thank you card to pick up some accessories.

a new belt. some nylons. and what girl wouldn't need new shoes? we talked about getting a diamond. but with all the thank you points i've been earning... ♪ ...i flew us to the rock i really had in mind. ♪ [ male announcer ] the citi thank you card. earn points you can use for travel on any airline, with no blackout dates.

>> dana: we have a special guest. i'm honored. author of "time to get tough" donald trump joins us on the phone from florida. donald, welcome to "the five."

>> i have to admit, you have a great show. >> dana: thank you! what do you like about it? >> i tivo it and i watch it. i think it's terrific. >> dana: we are honored to have you. we talk about you quite a bit because you make news lately. >> bob has gotten nicer in the last month. >> bob: that is because your lawyer threatened to sue me. >> is that true? >> bob: no. i want to say several nice things and then tell you what i really think. you are one of the best promoters -- i mean you make p.t. barnum look like a schmuck. you do well and i made mistake saying you had bankruptcy in your business. >> i never did. >> bob: i know you never did. it find that out, here to apologize for you. >> that's okay. >> bob: you are developer and you do a lot of things, tv talent. what you ain't, don, is a politician. i don't know why they keep seeing you. do you give them money when they come up? >> they do come up but i represent a lot of people tired of seeing what is

happening. if you noticed yesterday an article that says china is charging us 22%, tax of 22% for us to sell cars and trucks in china. it should have been a front page article. it wasn't. but how ridiculous? we talk about free trade and we don't want to disturb. they are charging us a tax of 22% to sell product in china. they are selling their stuff all over the mace. it's very sad. >> bob: ridiculous. >> i do respect you, but they are laughing at us and they are laughing all the way to the bank. >> bob: i have said a long time there is nobody more dangerous to the united states than the chinese. >> andrea: so mr. trump. this is andrea tantaros here. >> i know. >> andrea: why didn't you run? >> well, i have a thing called a show. it's "the apprentice." you know about the -- >> andrea: wait, wait "the apprentice' more important than the. >> no, it's not. but i will say this, it is a big prime-time two-hour show. clint eastwood is a friend of

mine. what he is doing to reality show, in all fairness andvy a two-hour show, number one show -- >> andrea: they can handle it without you. >> i am precluded from running after may 20. the show ends may 20. >> andrea: c'mon. >> i'm not precluded from running. >> bob: as an independent, right? >> it would have to be as an independent. >> eric: can we get you to weigh in -- i assume you watched the debate. >> i did. hi, eric. >> eric: how are you? weigh in. what do you think of the debate? who do you think did well and hurt their cause? >> well, i thought huntsman using my name to try to get gravitas was ridiculous. it didn't go over very well. he is a lightweight. i think that ron paul i really an interesting guy, but cookie, very cookie. interesting. but man he is out there. i thought that frankly newt did well. i thought romney did well.

a pretty even, i would say even. i thought the governor did well. rick perry, by far his best, i think. i would imagine. >> bob: it would be hard to do worse. >> you cannot do worse than he has done. no question about it. it was by far his best debate. i thought he did pretty well. >> dana: mr. trump was there a question you would have asked if you had been a part of the date last night? was there a you think wasn't asked that you would have like to hear the candidates answer? >> the thing i don't understand, i watched all of the debates. i don't hear the word "opec." i don't hear it and they are ripping us like no one has ripped us before, including china. i don't hear the word china to any great extent. nobody is doing a number on us like china. between the two of them and other countries they are staffing our wealth. taking wealth away from us like candy from a baby. unless we're going to do something about opec, unless we can do something and we can

start drilling oil in our country, that will help with opec a lot. unless we are going to do something with opec or china in particular. this year, china is going to walk away with $350 billion call it profit off the united states. $350 billion. we can't do that. there are many, many countries that are walking away. we don't walk away with profit from anybody. we used to be the king. we're not the king anymore. never mentioned in the debates. they are sapping our wealth. i'm a big medicare guy. i am a big social security guy. i want to keep those things. that is where bob and i are more alike than anyone else on the panel. >> bob: for sure. >> we can only do that if we are a wealthy country. >> dana: i agree with that. >> we are having the poor country because we have the worst deal-makers in history of the world making deals for us and we lose money, tens of trillions of dollars. >> greg: this is gutfeld. had a great time last night. thanks for everything.

>> sounds good. i don't know what we did, but it sounds good. >> greg: i don't remember any of it either, frankly. it was that wild. do you feel you have settled the questions of the origins of president obama's birth certificate? >> look, simple. barbara walters, i was on her show but she cut the hell out of my answer and let the last three words and people don't know what it meant. honored to be on but she cut the answer. asked me the same thing. >> his mother to the best of everyone's knowledge was never in that hospital. the document may have been tampered with according to many, many people. okay. you have grandmothers and people in the family that say he wasn't born in this country. okay. forgetting all of that, do i think he was born here? vy no idea. i personally cannot say one way or the other.

i do know that the -- there are no records. no records that the mother was never the hospital. >> greg: doesn't that. >> with all of that being said, folks. i'd rather focus on the economy and jobs and how to get the country back. >> bob: okay. >> but if you ask me was he born, i really can't tell you. >> andrea: when are you going to endorse a candidate? >> probably -- >> andrea: you watch the debate. who do you like now? >> you know the greatest thing -- i'll say this for all of you, i always have to give a lot of money to candidates. now they don't want my money, they just want my endorsement. i'm proud of that. >> bob: we are supposed to tease you. you agreed to come on a second segment. we appreciate it. but then we're going to be the six. not "the five." donald has become part of the. >> i'd love to be part of the show. >> bob: we have a question. go to you. >> i love it. very good. >> dana: you are going to stay with us. >> i'll wait around. dabs he will be with us after the break and we'll talk about nancy pelosi claiming that paying people not to work is good for the economy.

i can't wait to hear how bob tries to spin that one. "the five" will be right back. ♪ ♪ welcome idaho,

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