>> eric: violated greg's number one rule. >> juan: if you gave me that, you'd have one angry black man. i want a cupcake. give me my cupcake! [ laughter ] yes! well, that's it for "the five." thank you for watching. see you welcome to "red eye" i'm greg gutfeld. golden globe winner for a late night talk show. let's go to andy levy for a pre game president are. what is coming up on tonight's show? >> taste the pain, america. we will debate whether monday night fox news gop presidential debate was the most debatey debates of all we debated. and does empty praise hurt performance? it will have an amazing discussion of this story straight ahead. seriously, fantastic job.

and passengers on a british airways flight announce that a plane is going to crash and accidentally played. did i say get a scare? i mean freaked out beyond belief. are you f-ing kidding me? did you have a great day off? >> i worked on "the five" being my normal, depressible self. >> worked on the what? i don't understand. >> of course you president would. it is a show in the daytime. >> i'm sure it is good. >> it is. i get recognized now all the time. kids come up to me and say you are my hero. are you an american eye n could. >> i don't believe you. >> it is true. i get a lot of what's up america's bad boy? i get that a lot as well. >> i don't believe that as well either. >> you shouldn't because you are a sad man. >> go away. >> you go away first. >> let's welcome our guest. she is hotter than a chili cookoff on the sun. i am here with patti ann

browne or pab for short. and he is considered one of the most talented comedians on the planet today. here is big-lipped comedian paul mccurio. >> buy it. >> no. >> and bril low holds the patent on his hair. it is bill schulz. and if commentary was knock, knock jokes i would do him on the school bus. and the editor-in-chief of the great website "the daily caller." and our "new york times" correspondent. >> according to adventures in parenting column, the stay at home fathers are not so rare anymore. and all you seemingly i'm mass skew lated mr. moms shouldn't hang your head in shame. to quote lmfao, you clean the house even if you were dead ♪ ♪ now stop, hatin is bad >> now subscribers and their

hip kids love me. >> what does lmfao stand for? >> they are the simon and gar funk kill of party rock. >> i thought they were more like hall and oats. >> no, they are ahead of hall and oats. but the hair is equally as curly. will their pause -- applause give mitt pause? it was newt's night at the forum. the audience was loudly cheering gingrich and giving him a rare standing o. why not? his performance was rousing. that's what i read in rousing magazine. and so i wonder if williams would ask speaker gingrich if he would have said black americans should demand jobs and not food stamps. >> speaker gingrich, you recently said black americans should demand jobs and not food stamps. you also said poor kids look a strong work ethic and propose having them work as janitors in schools.

can't you see this is viewed as a minimum as insulting to all-americans, but particularly to black americans? >> no, i don't see that. >> count it. he makes it look easy. but would one ask newt if he saw some of this during his visit to a black church in south carolina? >> we saw this during one of your visits to a black church in south carolina and a woman asked why you referred to president obama as a foot stamp president. it sounds as if you are seeking to be little people. >> first of all, juan, the fact is that more people have been put on food stamps by barack obama than any president in american history. >> seeking to be little people. but it wasn't just gingrich and his foil. romney mixed it up with neuter over attack -- with newt with attack ads being run by

outside groups. >> mr. speaker, you have a super pack ad that attacks me. just hold on. it attacks me. it is probably the biggest hoax since big foot. >> whoa. big foot is no hoax. i spent a weekend with him in big sur. anyway, another star of the debate, the audience, who is the clap happiest group ever. let's see some highlights. >> that was interesting. finally we want to salute one of the moderators. kelly evans, who can forget when she asked this question.

>> tucker -- yeah, wow, that's about it. >> that was the best part of the debate. there. >> let's shut it down and go home. >> i googled her during the debate. >> i don't want to know what you did with her during the debate. >> how can you do that during such an important political event? are you disgusting. >> i want to do the same thing as juan williams. >> tucker, what did you make of newt's person form mans -- performance during the debate? a lot of people do, and that is a big factor when it comes it dealing with obama in the future. doesn't he have a .? >> that's the whole point. i don't think republicans look to newt as someone who will run the country ordeal with congress and may not be suitable for that.

they look to somebody who can spank barack obama. he can deliver on that score. i don't think newt is anymore conservative than mitt romney, actually. maybe less conservative. but he understands conservatives'y raj -- erogonous zones. if you watch him speak, he is touching you in the right places. >> i am a little uncomfortable. >> you should be. >> he hits the right buttons, but he also hits them in an articulate manner and it is a sink manner. it just goes like -- oh i wish i had said that. that's what happened. >> can i play you another one? this is newt explaining why kids should be janitors and you agree with him. lets play this. >> you can take one janitor and hire 30 some kids to work in the school for the price of one janitor, and those 30 kids would be a lot less likely to drop out. they would actually have money in their pocket.

they would learn to show up for work. they could do light janitorial duty. they would be getting money which is a good thing if you are poor. only the elites de spies -- despise earning money. i i was -- >> i was with until he said light janitor yeah duty. that was code for you won't touch a toilet. >> and the thing is, if you are going to do this stuff, you have to clean the toilets. >> you have to get in there and scrub. -- scrub. i worked as a kid and i turned out fine. we cleaned the toilets. >> do you get his argument? was that considered racist? >> i don't think it is racist. it focused on -- first of all, i don't know what his congressional district was. apparently it was london during the charles dickens time. but the idea that four kids are going to learn -- become better people because they are going to go work like that, it is like, how do you get a kid to want to go to school

because you will go and do janitor y'all work. what are you going to say to the kid, look, during the day you will learn about slavery and then later you will experience it and it will be awesome. >> if there is gnaw fare -- nepharious activity. i was speaking about that word earlier. i wanted to work it in. it failed miserably. they have two choices, crappy schools and dangerous life on the streets. they don't have an alternative to work somewhere else. get them a job where they work. they don't have to go to school. >> i think what he is saying -- i think what he fell off on is focusing on poor kids. rich kids need to learn the value of a dollar. they don't know what it is like to playstation 3. they think it costs two tantrums.

you get these kids on board. >> nobody snorts coke with a dollar bill. >> what's the point? >> if that's all you have in your wallet you better believe you will use $1. >> you know whose daughter knows the value of a dollar? newt's daughter. she had a janitor's job. his rich little girl is taking janitor jobs away from poor kids. i bet when she crass scrubbing the toilet she was wearing a tierra from tiffanys, mark my word. >> pab i want to show another thought here. it is the romney-santorum back and forth about the felons and then i want to get your take on it because i care. >> i don't think people who have committed vie excellent -- violent crimes should be allowed to vote again. >> i expected more from that side. >> yes, in fact on my notes that was supposed to go a bit longer, but maybe you changed

your mind and you didn't tell me. i wanted to show that you it was here. >> these were what we were going to show and instead you showed me -- anyway, you don't have to fix it because it is too late. >> you just filled the time with that rant. >> pab, they were talking about in a weird way they were talking about the campaign ads. do you think it helps either candidate? it made romney look jittery. >> i don't think romney handled it too well. santorum's whole point is he feels once have you done your time, completely served your sentence, your probation, parole, everything else, you should be allowed to vote. it is an interesting question. since convicted felons are allowed to hold elected office. >> yes, look at barack hussein obama. >> what? >> i don't know, i thought it sounded good. >> in any case you are allowed to be a member of congress if you serve your time as a a member.

>> did you say cat stevens? he should be in jail. terrible music. >> but i agree, if you are a convicted criminal and you served your time, and now you are in congress, who better to reach out to? i too was shanked in cell block d. interesting research. they looked at what would happen if disenfranchised fell wlonz allowed to vote and it would benefit the democrats. >> i don't think that is right. >> i don't think it is right either. >> it is unbelievable that people are in washington where i live and the mayor's office famously rounds up schizophrenic homeless and drags them to the polling places. >> they are worth twice the vote. terrible joke. i apologize. >> if you get sibl you get 16 votes. >> the white collar votes are easy to find. >> bill, i want to go to this tape, romney and perry discusing the value of hunting, and then i want to

come to you about this. let's do this. >> i went moose hunting -- i'm sorry, not moose hunting, elk hunting and i have been pheasant hunting. i am not the great hunter that some on this stage probably -- rick perry are you a serious hunter. but i am not a serious hunt youhunter. i enjoy the sport and when i am invited i like to go hunting. >> i am like that with synchronized swimming. if i am invited, great. >> should we look at who has the most hunting experience? >> if i am an unemployed american i say i hope he doesn't give a con vow luted answer, and if he does he better be an average to good hunter. that's what i care about. that is what will put money in my wallet and feed my kids. >> don't you think this is like the worst form of pandering? just go by your actions. don't go out there and say --

he wasn't comfortable saying i hunt. i don't hunt, but i am in favor -- >> he is a slighty uptight business consultant who went to harvard. a gun in my hands? are you kidding? it is the phoniness. anyone who does hunt and says, if you don't know a moose from an elk, come on. >> i don't. >> it was really uncomfortable. it was like oscar wild trying to pretend he played in a foot -- football game, or you for that matter. >> a moose is much better than an elk. >> an elk is a baby moose. >> no, they are not even the same. >> a moose has a sidekick which is a flying squirrel. >> that was good. >> why do moose travel in lodges and the elks belong in clubs? >> that is such a great question. >> because the elks are poor kids that have to clean up as

janitors in the toilets. >> you can't hunt ritarians. >> i want to bring up another question quickly. chris matthews was on msnbc. i just watched it earlier in the green room. i watched it with paul and he was so stupid. they were talking about how newt would address juan williams as juan. he would ask a question and newt would say, well, juan. chris matthews says, you can't describe it when you see. it but you know it. he said it was racist for him to call him by his first name. >> he went on to say there is more obligation to call me out on that to make newt less racist. i actually think chris matthews may be the dumbest person ever to be on television. i know him, i know him well. and i can say this with sincerity, he is truly a more ron, and that's how i felt. >> that's a "red eye" exclusive. >> in defense of him, -- >> there is no defending him. >> every time gingrich said juan he went -- like that.

i don't know. i don't know. a little racist? maybe. >> i just dvred it and skipped through that stuff. >> you almost say it like it is a compliment. you are almost impressed. >> it is a thing of magesty. >> doesn't it speak to nature? doesn't that speak to the whole devisive of nature? >> he is really, ream dumb. -- really, really dumb. >> i will not argue because it is not like it is going to be gold tomorrow. i will say that never came up. do i think it was condescending? absolutely. it was like, well -- juan. he would like do that in the camera with every response. condescending, yes. >> newt owns -- newt owns condescending. that's what he does. >> is juan latino or african-american? >> i don't know. >> he has a latino first name and a black man's last name. >> really? >> that's all i'm saying. >> good for you.

>> are you uncomfortable with race. >> i am racist. >> i am uncomfortable with you. >> and your second hand goodwill shirt. lastly, do we want to talk about ron paul at all and the fact he gave great answers on domestic areas and then blew it on foreign policy? >> he did fall apart. the whole golden rule thing, not good. >> also wasn't psyched about the eyebrows. they were coming back and then left us. >> ron paul can actually make an important case about american over reach in foreign policy if he just said at the outset, look, we didn't deserve 9/11. they are horrible. we are not. actions have consequences, then people would listen. >> he refuses to be spun. it is funny. it is like his supporters will support him no matter what. but no one will tell him when you are over stepping, and that's why he comes off the screen. he needs somebody to say, dude, you can win this if you say this. easily you could win it. in fact, we have to have this debate in america. ron paul unfortunately will not say they are better than

we are. >> gingrich spanked him on the china dissident thing. >> you can't compare osama bin laden to a chinese dissident. >> what is a chinese dissident? >> it is the same thing as an elk. all right. coming up, what is it like to be so adorable that people actually faint in your presence? we discuss patti ann browne's new book "i step over their bodies." first, are we doing this story? probably not. it is because we didn't get to it in the a block. that was easy.

can one night unite left and right? well, the state of the union address is next tuesday, and it looks like some democrats and republicans will be sitting together. the tradition started last year in the wake of the gabby

gif ready toes shooting. -- giffords shooting. they came up with the so-called date night seating hoping it would start partisan ship and a little flirting, i bet. it worked out so well i bet they will do it again. thases sar -- that's sar scasm, if you missed it. no label placed an add in the "new york times" saying, duh, make congress sit together. this is so important. not on op said sides of the aisle, but actually together. this is worth a full page ad. you morons. so far a democrat and republican have signed up to be each other dates. and others agreed to be bay partisan buddies. still excitement has yet to reach going for a walk levels. >> you want to go for a walk? walk? >> go for walk.

>> looks like bill when i say the 8 ball has arrived. >> you always order it. >> i don't know why. i am lazy. >> what is an 8 ball? >> paul, i have to sit with you at the table which is like the same thing. i have normal lips and you have these grotesque monsterous lips. when it is over nothing has inning chaed. you still have the monstrous lips. >> yes. do you want to make out? >> no. i just want to point out how stupid it is. it is like a seating chart for a wedding. look, the only people at the end of this who end up getting screwed from this by sitting together are the american people. nothing gets resolved by this at all. >> it is just symbolic. >> but even that, it is everybody laughing at it. nobody takes this seriously. it doesn't flish anything. -- accomplish anything. >> the idea is if you are with somebody from another party for a few hours, that's going

to change the way -- that's going to lower the tone or -- i'm sorry, it will raise the tone. >> elevate. >> thank you, elevate. >> this is a socially awkward group in the first place. but the idea is that congress just does president -- doesn't spend enough time together. they have legitimate disagreements and there is no middle ground. we have sincere beliefs, but they are different. >> that's the whole point. we don't want them to agree, patty. we want them to stay -- patti ann? >> how long have we known each other now? >> i was shortening it for time. forget you. is this meaning less? >> it is. especially because they picked the state of the union. all of the congress -- all the congress members do is applaud. all of the changes is instead of one side applauding and the other side applauding the applause will be mixed. it is not like they are working together or talking about issues. they sit there and applaud. it doesn't accomplish anything. >> bill, nobody ever wants to sit with you.

this story makes no sense. >> no, that kind of shot. >> i touched them and they didn't flinch. i am disappointed in the answer, but have i to do something. and i object to the fact that they shouldn't be compromising on anything. this is earmarks. >> it is not going to work. the chance of harmony is the same as van halen. >> i remember reading an article of a congressman who said they used to go to dinner together and they were in the same club. >> they always hated each other. >> the moments there is consensus, it is always like, oh, let's turn to the japanese. that's when the -- >> those are great. it is what the band wants. >> there is an old saying, it is not who you sit with, but what lobbyist is up your problem -- up your [bleep.

>> so it is who you sit on. >> it is like the parents forcing a kid to go to a party. >> dad always takes you to mcdone eld thats and your mom buys his cell phone. you go in there together and you can't get either. i know this. >> they didn't have cell phones back then. >> all right. do you have a comment on the show? e-mail us at red eye at fox news .com. and call 212-462-5050 to leave a message. still to come, a report from andy levy. >> tonight is sponsored by underwater painting. the process of coating services with paint while submerged in a body of water. thanks under water painting.

welcome back. let's see if we got any right so far. let's go to andyly -- andy levy. >> hi. >> i had a little water spill ledge. >> you don't want to get hurt. >> everything seems okay. and i did not leave the ship before everyone was rescued. >> good for you. >> fw op debate, greg, you said the clab happy audience was one of the stars of the debate. i couldn't disagree more. >> really? >> yes. i long for the day when's audiences were there to watch things and not be a part of them. >> i hear you. i was sar -- sarcastic. >> i didn't pick up on that.

>> no. i found it to be quite uh braye cive. >> that's a big word. >> i know some people think the crowd was booing during the debate, and actually the new york giants fans were saying cruz. >> is tom cruise a fan? >> something like that. tucker, greg says he can beat president obama in the debates. you agreed he would do that which is true, but maybe i remember it wrong. i don't particularly remember obama being that impressive of a debater. he was a great speech maker, but he wasn't that good in the debates. my kids could have beaten him in the debate. your performance in a debate is not to determine the performance on the election day. >> if people are mad at obama and they want to see newt gingrich spank him like the girl he is. >> vote for me. i will be the -- beat the

president. >> i don't get it. >> paul, you don't agree that kids doing light january tar -- janitorial work at school is a great motivator, isn't it? >> i think they -- i think that they should work. i definitely think kids should work. but if you will have them do janitor y'all work, get in there and clean private body parts or whatever has to be clean. you clean. >> can i chime in on this? i believe m why the only one with custodial experience. i worked maintenance in high school three of my four years. >> for what reason? >> here is what it inspired me to do. smoke a lot of weed. that was it. it was not a fun job. >> i painted and did all of that stuff when my manager wasn't around. wink. >> i worked at a furniture store and had to sell the furnts to the old women 1k3* then deliver.

it that was worse than anything. >> why do you have to tit for tat me? >> paul, i am told that nobody cares. >> i had some custodial experience. i worked at mcdonalds and in the party room, what happened is the kids would eat this big meal and go on the spiny rides and then throw up. i was moping up vomit on a regular basis. i think it builds character. >> i have lost a lot of custodial battles. >> pab just raised a very important question that many people probably over look. she worked at mcdonalds which is the whole point. people need to start and they make fun of these mean yell jobs or these -- what do you call them? burger flipping jobs. you could be patti ann browne. >> i think it builds character. >> she was hamburger patty patti ann browne. >> if you made one adjustment which is take it away from

poor kids and all kids work at 12 and 13, that's where he is falling off. >> the thing i don't like is he says you can have 30 kids replace one janitor, but that sucks for the janitor. we president do need more employed. >> and kids are not supporting families. >> we are going backwards, >> they are too stoned to notice. trust me. >> convicted felons allowed to hold public office. but the house and senate can vote to expel those people. >> that compared to voting -- >> i agree. if you paid your punishment, society determines you should be in jail for x number of years, once you are out you are square. >> yes. >> greg president obama is not a convicted felon. neither he or his home country of kenya. >> i'm glad you did. i wasn't sure. >> paul, you thought that

romney's answer to the hunting question was pan doring, and tucker you said it is the phoniness that is the problem. don't you think he should have been able to say i like to fire guns. >> yes. i live in massachusetts and i hunts yankee fans, end of story. >> nobody got my joke. he liked to say i fire people and it caused a ruckus. >> oh yeah. did you need to throw it to me? you should have thrown it to camera. >> he thought the comedian would get it. >> my miss taken. >> don't turn it on me because you did a lame joke nobody got. >> by the way, what we in america call a moose, europeans call an elk. >> i was right! >> either way they are both deer. >> you know what, they are dear to me. >> i was correct, about animals. >> i can't believe you are

taking satisfaction from this. >> i have to. >> because it works in belgium? >> america is becoming belgium. >> tucker don't you think the fact that romney confuses elk and deer that he is like a european. he probably speaks french. >> he is perfect hunting. he stands creepily still. >> tucker, you said ron paul could make a case and i think you are right. every time he talks about foreign policy i agree with him. but by the end he should be in gitmo. he makes it sound we are wrong. but there is reason he has gotten more contributions from active military than any other candidate? >> can we prove that? >> no. >> i said the same thing on "the five." >> politifact rated it as

true. >> of course. >> then that's good. >> by the way, ron paul fans i was kidding that he should quit gitmo. >> why do you have to say that? >> i was kidding. >> don't you think gingrich looks desperate trying to be a republican chas chastising another republican. does president that smack of december -- desperation? >> first of all it is iran and not ineran. i had another point i was going to make, but paul's idiocy ruined it. >> can't you answer my question? >> i do kind of agree to you. the thing that gets me most is it is not like gingrich is poor or -- middle class. for him to say i am not as rich as this guy and he is worth untiles of dollars,

really? >> and i made my money lobbying on half of fannie mae which i got an inside deal because i am powerful and live in dc. >> another thing i would like to add is newt is not a political insider. >> i do think though most average americans have a half million line of credit at tiffany. >> i don't know if that is true. >> is that not true. >> i don't want to am buds the am buds man. date night seating for state of the union. patti ann, you said this accomplishes nothing because all they do is applaud. i agree with you. do you think it will make them applaud less. >> yes, it is so blatant. one side applauds and the other side is siting with their arms crossed. is that really going to change the world? >> it might. it is a good start. >> you have to start somewhere. >> scpaktly.

-- exactly. thank you for pointing out congressional consensus can be worse than congressional end fighting. >> almost always is. >> it is not a fight for me though. i am done. >> that you r. coming up, twins 2 pose nude and weigh over 800 pounds each. up next, paul mccurio's lips. should pajamas be banned? i can't believe they aren't already.

he doesn't care for night wear. i speak of a local lawmaker in louisiana who is considering a ban on wearing paw gal mas in public. michael williams, the town commissioner, says he was inspired to outlaw the sleep attire after an incident in wal-mart in which he, quote, observed a couple of young men in loose-fitting pj's with their private parts about to come out and no underwear.

it is pajama pants today and next it will be underwear tomorrow. how true. this sounds arousing in someway. the aclu said such a van would benefit the pajama amendment of 1868. shop we discuss this in the -- >> lightning roooouuuuuunmnnnddd. lightning round. >> you know, paul, you have wearing your pajama top in public, so you are a fan of this. it -- is this going to be the next saggy pants? >> it is worse. what happens to people that they have to wear pajamas? is it that bad you have to put jeans on and zip up your fly? >> there was a time we wore suits, and then sport coats and then slacks and then we go to pajamas next? >> that's a good point. i'm surprised it came from you.

>> you wouldn't go to jail if you were caught violating. you would do community service. >> i had a vision of a lot of guys ticking up trash with the plumber's but showing. >> no of the it is like picking your nose in public. it is not illegal, but nobody does it. >> pab, were you were wearing pajamas outside, basically if you wears it outside that means you don't have a job. is that what the real message is about. george was wearing sweatpants and jerry says, you are wearing sweatpants and that just means you give up. now it is pajamas. i agree. put them on as pants. they even have pajama jeans. wear some pants. a law? absolutely not. we don't have a dress code in the country. people should have more class. >> bill, your pajamas are a discorded newspaper.

which is great, but free. >> no, paper cuts. you ignore the object us yus. >> people need to stay out of their business. >> people shouldn't wear it, but when we think about it, it is a different fabric than sweatpants. and i am a proud sweat pant wearer, particularly on the weekend. first they come for the one see and i said nothing, and then they come for captain sweat suit over here. >> it is bad if your parents are driving you to school and they are in their pajamas. that's sad. >> what if they don't get out of the car, that's fine. >> oh so you have done that? >> if you are in pajamas and in wal-mart, chances are you are probably doing something illegal and you should be arrested. >> you drive your kids to school in pajamas? daddy had a hard time getting up because he was out late. >> greg, you don't understand. you wake up at 6:30 in the morning. >> you are a irrelevant pa. if pajamas means a thong then

yes. >> the moral of the story is get dressed. it is not that hard, people. it is the least thing we ask. do we have to lower the bar now? we don't expect you to speak english? >> how close were they they could see the man's privates through the fabric. >> that was a description from the michael williams guy. why do i think that is a scandalous creature. >> if you are going to write about something you have to check the specifics and reporting and go undercover. mekz topic, a california woman was arrested for offer gz sexual favors in exchange for chicken mcnuggets. been there, sister. the woman allegedly opened a car door when they were in the thrive threw of a burbank mark donalds. are cops arrested her -- say

that again. a witness told cops who then busted her for suspicion of prostitution. pab, is this another great advertisement for the awesomeness of mcdonalds and the awesomeness of chicken mcnuggets. chicken mcnog imets -- mcnuggets are out there and we created it and now we need to make mcnuggets illegal. >> it has something to do with the size. if it is a six piece or nine piece you need to correlate that with what activity -- >> i don't think you should think of this as sex for nuggets. think of it as a happy ending meal. >> come on. >> i have a feeling it is going to end up in a bathtub clip somewhere when the world ends and they are running around going we need clips of the greatest tv ever in the whole world. that's go be to be number one. >> why do i have to cut down

everything? it makes me feel at home. >> is this worse or better than offering drugs or sex for money? >> mcnuggets are to crack what we know as to vegas. you will do it for mcnuggets. in burbank, there is only one. >> i love mcdone eld thats so much. bill, you traded sexual favors for i believe it was a single frito? >> i learned the hard way. as you know every weekend i teach hooker economics and this is where i tell my girls, don't ask for the mug going gets. as for the money. inevitably you will get more money than the nuggets are worth. i know you are not rocket scientists, but use your cracked out brain. >> nobody is on drugses you know. >> they are all on drugs.

every hooker is clean. >> i don't ask for urine samples for a reason. >> is this a big deal? what was going in her mouth wasn't as bad as theirs. >> i told many a classmate. >> i live a sheltered life. time to take a break. more junk ahead. plap

last week passengers on a british airways flight from miami to london were mistakenly told twice they were about to crash. the message was repeated before -- and people freaked out, but it was played by accident. pab, they handed out apology letters. is that enough for the mistake they made? >> no. first of all, why do you have a tape recording for something like that? it is something you say as so much because you are crushing your plane. >> they can't count on those announcing it because they are freaking out. the flight attendant is on the floor screeching. they have to use a recording. whaz that i would do. >> it is you are rep rabble. when you think you will die, as we saw in qm almost famous"

you make these declarations about, by the way, i had an affair. i am this and i am that. you can't take it back. >> make that's a good thing. maybe it is time to be honest with fake airplane crashes. >> of course not. of course not. you have just taken a group of 500 people and put their lives in perspective for all time and spared them from certain death. why should you be apologizing or giving them free stuff? they have already given them the precious gift. >> if you are angry about this, which option would you rather have? at least they are telling the truth. >> no, you want them to lie. you want them to be okay. >> yes. gentlemen. >> you have never been on an airplane, have you? >> no, in the car go hold with the pets. >> i just think of what has happened afterwards with the awkward propositions of sex.

>> i was only kidding. >> she has confessions and you are trying to make out with terrified women. >> which you are used to. >> my hand is down there anyway. why not? >> should they get any reward? free tickets to life? >> her reward is life. i agree and not for debbie downer. "fight club" remember he takes the cashier and takes him outside and puts a gun to his head and tells him he will blow his brains out. the reason he does it is because the next day will be the greatest day of his life. the sfood will never taste better and his job will never look more wonderful and will go on to realize his dreams because hey cheated -- he cheated death. >> i have never seen the movie -- >> i president don't believe you. you are sick if you haven't seen "fight club." >> we will close things out with the -- >> it is over?

>> yes, it is over for you. >> to gokz news .com/red eye.

back to tv's andy levy for the post game wrap up. >> tucker, you just turned 63. how do you say so young and vibrant some. >> thanks for asking. one word, nicoret. >> isn't there a bet as to how much you have chewed in the last two years? >> let me say i attribute my butter smooth skin and girlish figure to nicoret. >> i don't think you are using it right. patti ann, does your son bract -- brag about you being on tv? >> no, i always thought he was more proud of his dad who is a doctor. they asked him to draw a picture at school and i think you have that picture. i guess there is something a little more embarassing than admitting