all sea creatures are conside considered sea pestulant. kilthat's it for "the five." come back tomorrow. we'll be bac i'm greg gutfeld in for clive bagwell who is finding it hard to dig without fingernails. sorry, clive. andy, what is coming up on tonight's show? >> let's play, too, america. an arizona lawmaker introduces a bill to punish public school teachers for using obscene language. the shocking story that i was too lazy to finish a tease for. plus the fda goes an an amish farmer. why their actions have left some people crying over raw milk. and finally what happens when bill schulz meets the world's tallest professional basketball player? hopeful leahy is squashed like a bug.

>> thank you, andy. >> phoning it in tonight ssments. >> what? >> phoning it in tonight. >> that is disconcerting. >> thought i would give you the courtesey of a heads up. >> that's a surprise. >> you have been good to me and i didn't want it to come as a surprise. >> okay. >> good show, greg. >> he wasn't kidding. let's welcome our guests. she is cuter than a my little pony strangling a smurf with a twizzler. check out her website, jill done son show.com -- dobson show.com, yes named after her, she is that vein. and marching bands would bang him at half time if he was symbols. and he is the poster child for poster children, bill schulz and fresh off the broadway musical "21 jump street" writer and comedian jesse joyce. his latest cd is called pro

joyce. and a talking rag that comes in a bag. good to see you, pinch. >> today features landon thomas with the jobless and angry hoard that is the youth. a favorite quote, please, governor, get that tape recorder away from me or i will box your ears and kick you in your banas and nash. it is faster than you can say god save the queen, mate. oy. >> that's an impressive accent. >> yes, they were terrible. she is disturbed by four-letter words. a verse to any curse. i speak of an arizona senator, is there any other kind? who introduced a measure that would punish school teacherss if they use words deemed obscene by the fcc. i believe that stands for fudge and cookie council. >> i think that is what it is. >> anti-cuss f so s pot lori klein proposed the bill because they complained about a high school teacher using bad language.

if it becomes law, teachers would receive a warning and suspension after a week and a raise after five. it is a dismissal after five. i am just joshing. critics say it is unnecessary and discipline should be handled by schools and not the legislature. for more let's go to the youth and education respondent. w45* is up? what is up? >> i know he will never party with me. i am not cool enough for that cat, if you know what i mean. jesse, this is usually the part of the show where you swear because we are doing a show on swearing. >> am i that predictable? >> you are not. but your left earing screams divorced biology teacher. >> so does your wardrobe coincidentally. >> thank you. >> you sweatery thing.

that is nice. whatever. >> what do you feel about the government stepping in to protecting young impressionable children from offensive language? >> the only thing that is weird is -- well first of all one parent complained and then something got down which is shocking. the guy's response is he is gonna take his kid out of school and home school him? that will show them. we don't want to subject our daughter and learn bad habits. my wife is going to teachers and her math in our living m rue. we don't want her to be conversation alley weird so we will do problems in the basement like a normal teenager. >> prom in the basement is fun. that's how i did it anyway. teachers should never curse, but if they do can't the school handle it? if so what would the punishment be? >> this to me is completely ridiculous what is going on here. my initial concern was to keep good teachers away like andrew dice clay. he won't be able to teachers and. i am not against making it easier to fire teachers. the teacher's unions have laws

in place. you can basically sexually harass a student and you are still on the payroll. i am making it easier to fire teachers. the idea if there is a law and you should get fired? this should be handled locally. you are probably mott a good teacher if you are dropping the f bomb and the natural process will get you out of it. >> it is tragic we need a law to tell teachers who are in charge of nurturing our nation's young not to swear. does that sound like i care? >> i don't know if it is a coincidence, and i thought it was your sweater. when he mentioned you can sexually harass students you wrote a note that says "become a teacher." >> underlined it four times. and i drew a little heart over the eye. >> jill, you have been away for awhile claiming maternity leave which we think is code for rehab. as a new mother, allegedly, how would you react if your kid's teacher cursed in class? >> i wouldn't be pleased, but i certainly don't expect it to

be a law. and to be regulated by the fcc, i mean what does the fudge and cookie council or alternately known as the federal communications commission have anything to do with this? they are regulating the broadcast airways and what is said over television and radio. why are they trying to regulate what people say in conversations with each other? it makes no sense. it is crazy. >> you might call it government overreach. however, bill, as a culture, haven't we become too permissive with profanity and should we stand up to it? >> the flood gates are open and we can't go back. look at the words you can say on regular tv that would have been squashed by the fcc. >> squash was one of them. >> don't look up what squash used to mean. also, how does one get to become a home school teacher? can anyone do that? if jill home schooled her kid he would know nothing about math, but he can tell you every drug demi moore used and pronounce them and everything. >> that is true. >> actually that kid would help your kid later in life

probably. >> you know what i find interesting about swearing, jesse? it is something you can turn off or turn on. do you notice that? >> totally. >> you know when not to swear. there is something in your brain that says don't do it. but then if you hit yourself and stub a finger you swear. i am always confused about how the brain operates. it is not really a question, i guess. >> not really. but it is a true observation. i do a lot of radio and this show, and i know clearly every time i say [bleep] you bleep it. so i don't try to say [bleep] anymore. >> if it was basket or base, we may be able to talk. >> i'm sorry, go ahead. >> is there an epidemic of teachers swearing that is soiling our youth? i haven't heard of teachers swearing constantly and it being a big problem. it happened to one student whose parents complain. >> they are probably in classes for newly arrived immigrants who are getting jobs as cabdrivers.

they have to teachers and them how to swear so they can get a god tip. i will say i believe there is a change in our culture. i don't like seeing people in public at the mall where i often hang out alone in my tight jean shorts, something i like to do on the weekends, swearing in public. it bothers me. i don't know why. it bugs me. maybe i am old. >> that's because there is no public anymore. people communicate by text. this beloved mall you go to, it is the saddest thing in the world because you are the only one there in your jean shorts. everybody else is shopping on-line. no one is together anymore. >> i love going there. you know i am a race walker. i love doing the laps. you can window shop. i try to get there early before the stores are open. i window shop. >> i am just saying maybe if you were not race walking in tiny bike shorts people wouldn't be swearing so much. >> they are stone wash jeans and i never understood it. the stone wash jeans chaif.

>> don't knock it until you have tried it. from cursing to coercing. it sticks in their craw if you are selling milk that is raw. they would be the food and drug administration, those guys. earlier this week they helped to shutdown an amish farmer for the hideous crime of selling fresh milk. it is enough to drive you buggy. the best use of our tax dollars we have ever seen. i know it was a bad joke. the fda was going after him for two years for selling raw milk from his pennsylvania farm. they pulled out all of the stops including running a sting operation against the amish farmer. i would have loved to have seen that. they painted a cop car as a -- they way. just this month a judge sided with the feds ordering the frazzelled farmer to cease distribution and the farmer had to shut it down. the fda says unpasteurized milk can contain harmful bacteria like salmonella and ecoli, but others say it is

safe and can be used to power your homemade killing machines. as one of them tells the washington times "i can't believe in 2012 the federal government is raiding amish farmers at gunpoint all over a basic human right to eat natural food. in maryland they force taxpayers to pay for abortions, but god forbid we want the same milk our grandparents drank." you wouldn't want that. it would be spoiled. we go to milk pants dog, mpd. >> i really want one of those belts. i have a new baby and i can ride the exercise bike with that. what? >> nothing. >> where are we going with

this? >> i have no idea. >> let's talk about amish farmers. >> it is an amazing lesson from "hee-haw" the banjo. >> that would be disgusting without the banjo. >> the banjo is what made the clip. >> or arousing. >> why did my pants get tight all of a sudden? >> you ate a lot in the green room. >> i told you to stay away from the pound cake. >> i defy to you find something to bleep in that sentence. >> aren't you glad you have heros that will shutdown a milk supplier? >> this is outrageous. it is indicative of the government who wants to stick its tenticles in each and every aspect of our lives. the idea we would stop americans from consuming what they want to consume, raw milk. i don't like raw milk, but why can't they have it? it is not like they didn't know what they were doing. these were eager buyers. why not let them take their own risks ? >> it is utterly --

>> i am out of here. >> i have a lot of cow humor. should it be illegal to sell it unpasteurized. ecoli, i seem to enjoy, it is a surprise when it happens, but it is deadly. so should the government intervene? do they have evidence it is dangerous? perhaps. >> i think jaime makes a great point. if people know what they are getting and want to make that choice, that's fine. if they want to try the raw food diet, and buy unpasteurized, what is the problem? let them buy it. we have a lot of amish in my hometown of quincy, michigan. what's up, quincy! >> they can't hear you. they don't have televisions. >> you don't think he is watching? >> carve this segment into a tree. we will get you a transcript. >> anyway, we buy things from

amish farmers all the time. we can't imagine the government has to crackdown on this. >> jesse, i know are you dying to make an amish joke. >> i was by no means going to do that. >> aren't there better uses of taxpayer money than to harass for two years some poor farmer? >> the last thing i would do is make a joke about how the amish don't watch television. anyway, i agree with these guys. they did the same thing to me last august when i was selling shrimp out of the back of the van 6789 who are you to say i can't sell boxes of shellfish in the summertime? >> that were caught a month ago. >> drove up from alabama. >> it is a freedom issue. if i choose to buy spoiled shellfish from you, who is the real idiot? i am. >> exactly. buyer beware. >> it is natural cleansing of idiots. >> darwinism at its best. >> did you see the part of the story that they went and

protested in front of the senate and across the park and part of the protest was they all drank milk? that will show them. that will get you fired up in a protest to drink warm milk. if you can't drink raw milk, why are way allowed to drive? more people were driving. where does it end. if people want to take the risk of drinking raw milk, they drive everywhere. >> that's a good point. like amish you have no electricity where you live. >> i have anger. if this is a sting operation, where is the videotape? i would kill for that. it would be like an 18th century "to catch a predator." the guy would be standing there going, jedediah, do you think this is a prospective buyer? take this out. and then it would be over because amish people have to tell the truth. >> i need it, i need it bad. >> first i must see if you are

wearing a wooden wire. that is a man who has been to an improve class, the pipe work. >> pipe work comes extremely naturally to me. >> why are we nit-picking milk? the premise of succeeding milk out of the lower half of a cow is repulsive as it is. >> there go my pants again. it is unbelievable. >> it is like a jack in the box over there. >> these guys sell the milk toup peas. yuppies. they go to the eastern market. is it like selling to aliens ? an amish person has to sell to these people. 2* has to be weird. >> stick to your fake fireplaces, amish. >> on one side you have the conservative amish guy with the long beard and the hippie with the long beard. >> one part of me is also like, if they want to go and contract diphtheria or typhoid

fever, go and have fun. if i can contract it from them because i am not breaking the law and drinking my pasteurized milk, screw them. >> that's a fair point. they are spreading their illness. >> i didn't even think it was a real thing. apparently it still exists. >> i'm with you. down with maloki. >> i am not an epidemiologist, but if you consume something and get sick from it, it is probably not airborne. >> anything with a fever. >> i worry about e-coli. >> the rapper or the disease? >> it is the name of an amish farmer. >> ♪ e-coli you know what, i don't care anymore. i do care. i care about everybody out there. coming up, a story so incredible we decided not to do them. they are just too good for this little show. what happened when bill schulz

visited the tallest basketball player in the world? sadly, he returned.

paul stergis is not only the tallest harlem globe trotter, but he is the tallest player on earth and maybe even including saturn. the -- with the team in town for another big win "red eye" interviewed the goliath and to be both so big and british. >> thanks, greg. i am at madison square garden, home of the rangers, the knicks and the occasional awful guns and roses concert. let's go to an arena big

enough to hold the world's tallest basketball player. well actually we couldn't get into msg because of something called the westminster dog show. but we are currently right next door, and it it is what i would like to think is the greatest conference room in the world. if we can, perspective shot, paul, tiny, stergis, a real new york giant. let's do it. i would be remiss if i didn't ask, would you be my valentine? >> i already have several offers, but i will take the rose. >> wow, all right. it is like a lot of other women i know too. now, for starters, your accent is very thick. what part of harlem are you from? >> i am not from harlem. i am from the united kingdom. >> so british harlem? is that near spanish harlem? >> the united kingdom. the greatest country in the world. >> well, we will have to fix that and edit it. you did a big valentine's day promotion involving giving roses to lovely, young

ladies. got good anecdotes from that? who did you meet? how did it go? >> we were out there giving roses to the lovely ladies and promoting our game at madison square garden. >> i never seen anybody so tall. >> you were entered into the guinness book of world records for being the tallest professional basketball player. what do you get with that? did they give asserts cet? did they give you a pint of guinness? maybe a bucket in your case. >> i got a official certificate in a nice frame. they said they will put me in the book too so that is cool. a lot of people in the world read the book, so they will see this beautiful face. >> and the best part is in your case it is definitely going to be a center fold. what is the question that you are most sick of with regards to your amazing stature? >> i wouldn't say sick of, but the one that irritates me the most is how is the weather up

there? >> people actually still use that? >> they still use it, and they still think they are the first person to ever ask me that question. >> let me just do something. let me cross off something here. i read that you guys have not lost a game since 1971, correct? >> that's right. >> here is my thoughts. come saturday i am putting $10,000 down on the competition. i figure who ever you play is due. good bet or great bet? >> if you do that you might as well give me the $10,000, it seals like you are trying to throw money away. >> who is the second tallest player on the team? >> stretch middleton and he is 7 foot 4. >> do you ever look at him and say, stretch, you midget. >> what is your shoe size? >> size 20. >> you know what they say about the size of a man's foot. your hands are equally big. >> big socks and big gloves. >> ceiling fans, do you feel like you hate them? >> i have to be conscious of them.

i never hit my head on a ceiling fan, but they are one of my enemies. >> i notice you have some ink. any tattoo notable? what do some say? >> my initials, date of birth, got a couple of quotes down my arms. >> have you ever considered something along the lines of like fie-fi-fo-fum maybe in mandarin? >> i see where you are going and no. >> i didn't get anything free, not even a ball. but they do a flier for cheetahs. half off of the buffet. it is a gentleman's club and i am wearing a tie. >> so when did this happen? when did the harlem globe trotters have white players ? >> it has been awhile. >> i must be out of it. when i was a kid i watched them on the wide world of sports. >> and they were all asian of the. >> they were all asian. >> i remember that. >> oh my gosh. you know what i find amazing

about that package is i know you were looking for somebody to say, oh my god he's tall. thank god you have that stock footage of that woman. >> i would like to thank of the globe trotters for sending that footage so we don't have to go on the street. >> oh my gosh he is tall. >> did you get into his dating life? >> i did. the last two girls he dated were 5 foot 5 and 5 foot 6 respectively. now that begs the obvious follow-up question which the globe trotters wouldn't let me ask because it is a family organization. the question stopped there. all of the things that are going through your head are going through mine too, but i never resolved how that worked. >> well i can tell you how it it works being 5 foot 5. >> and dating sturgis? >> oh my god. jill, what is the tallest person you ever dated? >> i dated a pro player once who is 6 foot 8.

i could stand up on my couch and still be shorter than him. we just looked weird together so we had to end it. >> we had to end it, yes. >> you superficial, awful person. >> i will only date people who are good looking, but not as good looking as me. that's really the only factor. nothing else matters. >> would you rather be super tall or super small? >> i am super tall. >> how tall are you? >> 6 foot 4. >> it is up there. >> but by human being standards. not that animal we just saw. like an actual, functional human being. >> i am offended by that. he is a friend. >> how about you? super tall or super small? >> i would like to be taller. i wouldn't want to be that tall. >> you didn't answer the question. tall people generally are the nicest people on the planet. did you notice that? they really are. they go through life -- like penn gillette. i had a long conversation with him. he was bullied because little

people screw with you. they would win points by screwing with really tall people because the tall person can't fight back because he looks like a jerk. the tall person has to go through life going, here it comes again. >> exactly. greg is going to make fun of my earring again. >> but if they bring back digitoxing then we are in for a world of trouble. >> and the patience too. say you are really famous. yes people will ask you about your celebrity and projects, but after awhile they will get to something else. whether you that tall that is the entire conversation. you do not talk about anything else except all of the dumb questions i just asked and he answered a million times. >> i am convinced 6 foot 5 is the cutoff. i have a buddy who is 6 foot 6 and it is not a topic of conversation. people are just aware i am a tall person. but at 6 foot 6 it is like, oh my god, are you a weird person. you can't not have that conversation. >> you don't have to worry about that. >> no, i don't.

>> do you have a comment on the show? e mail us. red eye at fox news.com. i am proud to be pocket sized. you know what is funny, if i fall i am closer to the ground. you are more likely to die. you fall, your head hits. i fall, it is not that fall. voicemail my direct line 212-462-5050. still to come, the half time report from andy levy, a miserable man. >> tonight's half time report is sponsored by ice sculptures. a sculpture where ice is the main material. thanks, ice sculptures.

welcome back. let's find out if we got anything wrong so far. for that we go to mr. andy levy. >> thanks, greg. >> still mailing it in? >> phoning it in. >> phoning it in, yes. mail takes too long. arizona senate committee passes an anti-cursing bill. you said, quote, i speak of an arizona state senator. is there any other kind? >> yes. >> there are 49 other kind. 45 others if you want to get picky if pennsylvania, kentucky, virginia, massachusetts are commonwealths and 44 other cieppedz if you count hawaii as a separate nation as you should. >> but we don't. >> but still. >> by the way, what about the team, the senators. you forgot those. >> they are not the state senators.

is that jesse joyce? >> i didn't recognize him without a hoodie. >> i dress respectable like. >> apparently the gap was closed. >> jesse you said the shocking thing about the story is only one parent complained and that lead to this state senator doing this. what if i told you the parent who complained to the state senator was named floyd brown and he is a long-time republican strategist who produced the willy horton head in 1988 and a founding chairman of citizens united. >> i suppose we will never know until you tell me. >> what stories were you reading because i can't see that. >> i do research. it is part of my job. >> i don't understand why you can't answer my hypothetical question. you didn't actually ask me it. >> i did. i said what if i told you. >> it is not a hypothetical. >> he was acting.

>> he didn't flat out say it. he was like, in theory what if i said this. >> it is a game he likes to play. look how smart i am. what if this were true. oh, it is true. >> i actually thought it was the beginning of espn's 30 for 30 promo. >> by the way, lori klein was demmon -- demonstrating a laser scope and she pointed the gun at the reporter. tont do that. that's -- don't do that. that's not good. jaime, if you are constantly dropping f-bomb you are not a good teacher. but are you a cool teacher? >> you may be the coolest teacher to the students, but objectively probably if what you are teaching them is not very good. >> remember objectivity is subjective. >> that's what they taught you in columbia. >> i heard it in a woody allen movie, but same thing pretty much. jill, you said the fcc regulates tv and radio. why are they trying to regulate what people say to

each other? i believe what the senator has in mind is they would use the fcc obscenity guidelines, but the fcc wouldn't have anything to do with this. >> so they would lis tone a george car line -- carlin tape? >> no, they would take the they would barrow those guidelines. the fcc would have nothing to do with it. >> i just think it would be simpler to go to george carlin. >> absolutely. and not pass the stupid bill. >> either one. >> greg, i am with you. swearing in public also bothers me. >> it does. >> but then again i am with you at the mall in tight jean shorts. >> it is fun. >> we do have fun. >> you don't notice the workout when you have a partner. >> no. it is a nice sunday. you get your frappuccino afterwards. >> which totally can sells out the burn. it is ridiculous. sometimes he will talk me into

a cinnabun. he starts on one end and i start on the other. >> we have earned it. >> we have. our sweaty bodies have earned it. >> there go my pants again. >> amish farmer shutdown for selling raw milk. jaime, you said the idea that they would stop people from selling raw milk is crazy. here is the deal, drinking raw milk is legal in every state. i don't know why it is illegal to sell it across state lines. it doesn't make sense. >> it doesn't make sense. and they are setting up a sting operation to stop people from doing that doesn't make sense. >> even if it were legal. but the fact you can drink it in every state -- >> it makes it more stupid. >> did you hear about the time that the lead singer of the police had appendicitis? they set up a sting operation. >> you didn't even have to give the punch line.

>> wow. >> wow. >> jesse, we willed dit that out. >> this is my favorite what he is doing right now. >> people on twitter will really like that joke. >> i don't even know what i was going to say next. ron paul did introduce a bill that would legalize selling the milk over the state lines, and it has not gone anywhere. this is why i love the farmer. the government is doing bidding and filed a complaint against him. he tbot together with the out of state customers. they formed a group called grass fed on the hill. each member purchased part of a cow. he wasn't selling the milk to them. they were selling parts of the cow. and then they got the milk.

>> the judge called it a sum ter fiewj -- a sumterfuge. >> you said ron paul introduced a bill, and it didn't go anywhere? >> not in keeping with his career. >> this farmer is like the norma ray of raw milk. >> this whole cow sharing thing is fantastic and the judge doesn't reward the initiative and creativity which is anti-american. greg, you said the milk is bought by yuppies. i think they are more hippies. >> yes, i guess so. it is an irrelevant word. >> they like the natural lifestyle. they like the opposite. >> and they stink. they use bizarro de yoder rent. it looks like a rock. >> i don't want to get into it. by the way, this has nothing

to do -- mostly nothing to do with the story. did you know salmonella was named after a person? >> really? >> daniel salmon was the first to receive the doctor of medicine degree. they discovered salmonella and named it after him. >> that's nice. it is a tribute. >> i always thought it was named after the fish. >> you know what they also named after him 1234* daniel toma. >> is that right? >> what is that? >> i don't know. >> can we edit that out? >> you and bill will go to the same improve classes. bill, i have to ask you about your interest view. interview. how did you not ask him to do some princess bride rhymes? >> i wanted him to, but the more i talked, the more he wanted to kill me. are you asking me about my mos because we only did a couple stories? >> yes. >> want to make sure. >> absolutely.

>> i ndz -- i understand and i respect your air artistry. >> jill, you said, quote, i will only date people who are -- and i don't know what you said. but you know you are married, right? >> oh my god. i totally forgot i was married. i'm sorry. i got the valentine spirit. i have been asking everyone to be my valentine. >> if i had a dollar for every time you said that. are we on for dinner or not? >> we can still have dinner. >> it is dutch. >> take me off the screen. i am done. a segment that will blow your mind through the back of your skull. look, my mom is back. hurray for mom and hurray for world peace.

so a study last week showed spanking children lead to emotional problems and aggression in adults, lass sore hand. terrible -- and also a sore hand. if you watch i had "the five" last friday i discussed that topic of spanking with my mother. but you only saw a minute of our conversation. after many e mails and texts from people asking for the whole thing, i offer to you now in its entirety. >> hi, mom, how are you? >> okay, and how are you? >> what is it, 2:00, 2:30 over there? >> about 1:30, honey. >> are you supposed to pretend it is live. >> oh, right. >> it is okay. so mom we are talking about spanking. >> oh yeah. >> how do you feel about spanking? >> well, i just don't believe in it because it does president -- it doesn't do any good. it makes the kids angrier than

they were. first of all spanking usually refers to spanking little children i think. they don't get it. they will remember only the bad part. so what i used to do when you and leslie were about the same age and used to fight with each other, i didn't ever -- i never knew who was the beginner of the fight. >> it was her fault, mom. it was always her fault. but go ahead. >> we had those gates i put across the bedroom where the door would be. i would put each one in a separate room and just say now you just sit there until you cool off. first of all i probably was angry at both of you and i could run after -- i couldn't run after two of you. i could hardly keep myself standing up. >> so you don't remember any kind of corporal punishment when i was growing up? you never chased me around the house with a fly swatter? >> i couldn't catch you. i was 40 years old.

you would run like heck. i just couldn't keep up with you. well maybe -- i don't think i did any corporal punishment that the police would notice. >> i don't think we ever really called the police over a fly swatter. mom, when you were growing up, weren't you ever spanked? >> no. my mother and father were just wonderful. with four kids too, no, they really didn't believe in corporal punishment. >> you mean back then in the 1800's they didn't chase you with a straw broom or some kind of sash? >> no, honest to goodness. they sent us over to the neighbors to annoy them. >> that's an interesting way of punishing your child. >> i am just being bad. no, i don't think we had any type of corporal punishment. other than, you know, not letting us have what we wanted

maybe, like going out with the boys or something. >> going out with the boys. mome, are you saying kids should never be spanked even if they are obnoxious and loud? >> well, i mean -- well, of course if they are obnoxious and loud, then they are older and spanking -- they would probably hit me back. >> yes, that's probably true. so you can't really -- see, you can't use it very long anyway. it doesn't do that much good. i think if you could -- when they are older you can talk to them. >> so i just want to reiterate you have no memory at all of chasing me around the living room with a fly swatter? >> my gosh, honey, i am 87 years old. god has given me the grace to forget a lot of things. >> that's my point. you don't remember the fly swatter, do you? >> no, i don't. i have several that are broken. do you think that is part of my problem?

>> i think the broken fly swatters should be a hint that something might have occurred back in the early 70s. >> you mean i swatted you? >> yes. >> oh, i sorry. >> that's okay. i forgive you. >> god knows what you already did to me. >> i don't remember that either, mom. and look how i turned out. apparently swatting me with a fly swatter -- >> i don't think i swatted you enough is my problem. >> you might be right. >> now you be a good boy, and i won't come to new york and hit you. >> i like how she wraps up the seggent meant. see you, mom. >> bye. >> that was truly delightful. we are not finished yet. we are just taking a break. if you leave now i will slight my face-off and feed it to jesse.

a marketing firm is offering to pay if they turn their house into a giant billboard. they are paying a couple near los angeles nearly $2,000 a month to transform their four-bedroom into an advertisement. they say they are planing to do this for a thousand homes

across the country. is this a noble idea? >> it is a brilliant idea. it shows american ingenuity. i think the government should think of dhog to pay down our debt. you would have the washington monument brought to you by red lobster or the white house brought to you by china. >> i think we could may down our debt jie. a little political humor there. jill, would you ever judge a man who would do this to his abode? if you saw the guy's apartment covered with decals? >> i think it is a genius idea, but it is one of those not in my backyard things. it makes me want to move into a mcmansion where they have the rules and the swing set can't be primary colors and neither can your house. >> good po nie t. i hate backyard stuff. if it doesn't fit with the overall -- i hate it. that's why i don't go into people's backyards. you live in an apartment. the best you can do is a

broken beer sign on the front of your door. >> what is so great about it is you can directly point to the guy across the street. i am going to paint on my door. we love marriachi music in the morning, but try these noise can selling headphones. here is a few numbers for a few pittbull organizations. >> bill you applied for, this but as of now they don't have boards for city dumpsters. are you sad about that? >> this makes me sick about the worst coast. these guys guys have never been to the midwest. we have been doing this for a hundred years. you go by any barn and you will see the professional. or they will do home maid ones. they will write on the barn "come here for raw milk." and they will misspell milk because we are drunk.

but we have been doing this for a longtime. >> i am the only one who has a family. >> oh one of them rich farmers. >> i can use the money. >> we have been pasteurizing our milk. we can sell it. >> who can best benefit from this is mortgage companies. don't want to look like a gas as with your house? >> it is one more step toward i had jobing craw see. it predicted everything that ever happened. we will close things out with a post game wrap up from andy levy. to see clips from recent shows go to our website.

see you back here tomorrow night and then tomorrow on "the five." coming up tomorrow we have anthony and remi spencer and dana vachon.

hi, andy. >> hi, greg. jill, is that spit up in your hair? >> yes, actually. that is spit up in my hair. i am the mom of a four-month-old. hi, baby shane. i am blogging about the glamorous joyce of motherhood. thanks for asking. >> absolutely. when i wake up in the morning, slash early afternoon what is the first thing i should read? >> without question the daily caller's morning e mail written by myself. it is full of information and hopefully some laughs. go to the daily caller.com and sign up. you don't know what is going on unless you read it in the morning first thing. >> i actually do. so i don't have to sign up? >> you don't unless you have read it. >> i read it every day. >> i used to. jesse, have you shows this weekend? >> i do. i am back in my hometown, pittsburgh. i am doing two shows on saturday, at 8:00 and 10:00. it is the grand opening of that place.