>> bob: anybody see lindsay lohan? >> dana: we have to run. thank you for being with us today. see you welcome to "red eye." i'm greg gutfeld. or as i am known in paraguay, salma hyek. andy, what is coming up on tonight's show? >> thanks, greg. walk away, america. it doesn't concern you. our top story, are pessimism, partisan and twitter making it impossible to lead america? the mainstream media excuse for president obama ahead. and the senate wants to make it illegal for welfare recipients to spend the money on booze, smokes, gambling and adult entertainment. my in depth investigation into what this adult entertainment is. and southwest airlines refused a woman to board a flight because of her cleavage. whether the war on women has finally gone too far. greg? >> we missed you this

weekend. >> wasn't feeling well. >> had a great time without you. >> i'm not sure how that goes along with we missed you. >> i was lying. it was something to say to be polite. >> it doesn't make sense. >> i don't care. >> i am not feeling well, so if you are done. >> i was going to tell about you my great weekend. >> sure. >> we met at 4:00 at an italian place. it was me and gavin and eric web -- let's welcome our guests. she is so hot that swimsuit calendars stair at a nude picture of her -- a new picture of her every month. i am here with patti ann brown, pab for short. and a first time guest, ely braye den, comedian, musician and actor, he is four things. and in france he is considered a bike rack. my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and a if fierce comentary was a fog horn i would blow him on a yacht.

next to me tucker tucker carlton and the stories he prints makes the nation wins. it is our new york times correspondent. good to see you, pinch. >> this week they profiled owe braye ham lincoln -- profiled "abraham lincoln, vampire hunter." he was actually a hunter of the undead. he was a revered mummy therapist. the more you know, greg. >> fantastic. four more years, will it end in tears? the washington post, an actual post, wonders if it is possible for obama or any president to win a second term in the modern world of politics. the paper sites a pessimism about the country, intense partisan ship and a splint erred media that has twitter, blogs and facebook. he plays along saying, quote,

due to the evolution of our politics and media we may never see a two-term president again. in an era of high definition politics where every flaw is exposed it is challenging to effectively govern, puke. for more let's go live to the senior media correspondent. >> that is definitely not a good media correspondent. if you ask me, tucker, you didn't ask me. you are asking the questions. do you think it is harder to be a two-term president today than to say the 1600's? >> i love the canine by the way. of course it is harder.

there were no presidents in the 1600's. it is hard. it is a tough job. that's why you shouldn't at the outset promise you will cure cancer, you know what i mean? obama over promised and now making excuses. part it true. social media makes it more complicated. the world is going through this. the good news is the public's attention span is so short. you can have a scandal a day and no one remembers. >> it is like you are constantly eating atta co bell. at taco bell. you actually own the news for about 15 minutes tops, right? >> absolutely. like as in most things i agree with tucker completely. i just think people don't judge who they will vote for based on behaver -- based on whatever the media is covering. we know obama likes to eat dog. we know romney tortures dogs and can't spell america. nobody cares.

>> i think if these things pile up, pab, p helps -- it helps us fill time. does it keep a running tab, or does he say, i like this guy more than this guy? >> i think some of these things will contribute to an over all impression. it is harder for the president to control the message or choose the message, but at the same time, the democrats controlled the presidency and both houses of congress. the point is it is impossible for any president to get anything accomplished because things have become so partisan. >> that's because they had control before. that's an excellent point. i apologize for treating you poorly before the show. will this article dissuade you from entering the race in 2016? >> no, i wasn't born in america. he got sick four months in, so obama didn't have time to implement anything. but should a president have two terms? maybe it should just be one term.

and then all of this other scrutinizing doesn't matter and he can focus on the matter at hand. and thirdly, if i had made two points, obama's term is not up. that cancer curing thing could still happen. >> that is true. >> what about scriewt gnaw swraition? >> that's the name of my band. if you can plug your site, i can plug my band. >> i like that. tucker, you are a reporter who got in a little controversy from the daily caller. let's play that clip for those who haven't seen it 17 times. >> it is the right thing to do. excuse me, sir. it is not time for questions, sir. not while i am speaking. the answer to your question, sir , and the next time i prefer you let me finish my statements before you ask that question, is this is the right thing to do for the american people. i didn't ask for an argument. i am answering your question.

>> i like it when he gets like that. he is sultry and steamy. i forgot my question. here is the thing, there are a lot of people even if this very place, fox news, where you work, that you thought was unseemly. what do you make of that? >> it is the process of getting people to divulge things they didn't want to divulge. politicians don't want to answer questions. our job is to get the information and bring it to our readers. we are never going to agree. the president -- by the way, they hold all of the cards. stand there with your notebook you have done a million times as a stenographer. i saw that and i thought here is a reporter who is anxious to get the question answered and the president is annoyed by it. this is nothing new. anybody who spent anytime covering the president at the white house will not be shocked by this. >> but what if every reporter did that? it would be like a

mutinaziation of the white house. >> you make a solid point. my job is not to think through the consequences of society. i have 50 employees. i need to manage them or do my best. i think he is a great reporter and that's it. >> i just love the word mutinization. >> i have a problem when the media is defending the president. >> you have a problem with that? >> yes. >> it happens every day. what a bunch of thrown sniffers. you must feel sick. i have never seen anything like it. >> i want to go to might have favorite clip of the day it was mitt romney, and i believe he was talking about something called a wa-wa. it might be a store for baby food. let's roll this tape. he was on a show and the

reaction was what you might call condescending. who knows? >> where do you get your wawa's? has anybody ever been to wa-wa's 1234* i know it is a state divider, but i went to wawa's. i went there to order a sandwich. you press the little touch tone key pad. you just touch that and the sandwich comes out and touch this and touch this and touch this and go pay the cashier and get your sandwich. it is amazing. >> here is the thing, at first it seems funny, but i didn't know that you could get a sandwich through a touch tone at wawa. i haven't been to one in a year off the turnpike. i don't drive so much anymore since the incident. maybe he has every right to be amazed. >> he said the wawa in repetition. he reminded me of my great uncle on methamphetamine.

and trust me, she on methamphetamines a lot. he is trowns around and repeating. >> i think that was boyish excitement. not bad for a 65-year-old. >> it was an excellent break down of every man's experience. >> i know what it is like to shop. i have done it. let me prove it by going through every step methodically. >> i am trying to think the last time i was at a wawa was in the lehigh valley, pab. this is new for me the touch pad for a hoe gee. >> i didn't know that. i am familiar with wawa. i agree with ely. there is something about him trying to be the every man. jay he shouldn't be. >> i think he -- i agree. he wassen thralled by it. he wassen thralled by it. >> it is awful. why even pretend? he is not like you and me. there is nothing wrong with it.

his case is simple. he wrecked the country and i will fix it. >> isn't being out of touch -- being out of touch is cool. >> i never heard of wawa. i have never heard of wawa. that was weird weird. >> was jimmy hendrix in touch? was john lennon in touch? >> fantastic point. have you convinced me. from second turns to second chins. will too many milky ways send the planet hurdling toward the milky way? obesity hasn't spun earth off its axis yet. a report says the weight of the global population at 316 million tons, an estimated 17 million tons overweight, get ready for proud, america. despite making 5% of citizens the united states accounts for a third of the world's weight. when people think about

environmental sustain built they immediately focus on population. actually when it comes down to it, it is not how many mouths there are to feed, it is how much flesh there is on the planet. anyway, i know one inch little fellow who is doing his part to lose weight. >> that is the greatest. he thinks the guy is his mother. isn't that wonderful and sad at the same time? >> i am glad he is exercising because i am all for no fat chicks. >> nicely played. >> you win the first question then. could it be the fatter we get that the earth could actually fall? >> that is an interesting idea. i just love hearing the world is 17 tons overweight makes fee feel better about myself.

i am a drop in the bucket. >> according to their ideology , are you killing the planet. you are like an earth terrorist. >> hey, sue me. if this guy thinks there is a global food shortage, he hasn't been to a cost-co lately. >> the average body be weight is 137 pounds and the average american is 178. shouldn't we be proud? >> of course america is fatter than china. china would love to be as fat as we are. obese is the new brack. the first thing china will do when it reaches the status is get wildly overweight. disney world fat. >> absolutely. or the mall of america fat. have you ever been to the mall of america? >> no. >> never. neither have i. >> they talk about humans, but they don't bring up the elephants and the hipos. shouldn't the elephants and the hipos be targeted more than humans humans and shouldn't they be killed?

>> i will have to get back to you on that one. >> always on the fence about murder, pab. >> what is confusing me about this study is the use of global resources. if you are overweight you are using more global resources, ie, food. the solution according to the study is for everyone to exercise more how does that make sense? if you are exercising more you are consuming the same amount of food. michael phelps eats 12,000 cal rears a day and he is thin and uses global resources and how does that work? >> it is total snob re. they say we wish you weren't fat. that's what they are saying. with sodas and all of this crap, they can't come out and say we don't like looking at you fat people. that's what they want to say. >> i have to disagree with at that patti ann. we are talking humans. michael phelps is a shaved down freak. >> that is true.

the funny thing is exercise also creates more muscle than fat. more muscle weighs more than fat. you know that. muscle weighs twice as much. this is bonkers. >> it may be bunk. in a weird way it relates to the first story. i think the internet is maury responsible about us being partisan and learning something instead of what we don't want to hear. the internet is also there to make us fatter. why would we do that when we can watch somebody on youtube. >> they are trying to tie your own physical failures to an environmental issue. so if you won't lose weight for yourself, you should do it for the weight of the planet. we could maybe in the future force you to lose weight because it hurts the planet. >> the war against smoking caused the obesity crisis. the war on obesity will kill youtube.

no fat people, no fat kid falls off bike or rollercoaster. we think before you advocate the change. >> if there is no entertainment on youtube there is no entertainment indoors forcing people outside. what do young people do when they are outside? they rape and pillage. >> they cop pew late. >> this is not a good thing. >> they do that inside too. >> it is mostly in fields. i will try to drum it up to the break. coming up, was joseph stalin one of the greatest leaders of the 20th century? patti ann browne explains why she named her son joseph stalin brown. i had no idea, pab. first, was this lady's cleavage not fit to fly? i can't see that. we pick up where special report left off.

it is bros after hoes. egypt's muslim brotherhood claimed victory to succeed mubarak. that is the greatest lead ever. but does it matter or is the arab spring no longer a thing? well last week egypt's high court dissolved the lower out of the country as parliament after ruling a third of the members were unlawfully elected. on sunday the country's military issued a constitutional de cree giving itself such broad powers that one former presidential candidate took to twitter as they all do to call it a full military coup. as one expert put it the military stands over and above everyone else. you know who is taking the unrest in egypt in stride? relaxed owl.

>> they are not all that. you are so smart trying to invent something, owl. it takes forever. tucker, death of the arab spring? >> yes. if there was ever a country you could root for a military hunter it is egypt. if only because it is better than the alternative. you hate to root for autocrity, but if it was a nut case general government, i am all for the military. >> aren't the military muslim? >> but i don't believe they are acting out of islamic extreme extremeism. this is the limit and i'm sorry, but it is not ready for. it sorry. joy on this bell curve which i am not sure i am using it

correctly, but with these people are still here, is that right? >> i would move that hand over this way maybe. >> these in your personal space -- that's in your personal space. >> i know. as a long-time watcher what do you make of this? >> i don't know more than that owl. >> that owl is a professor ofy jimtion -- of egyptian theocracy. >> i learned everything from a bengals song. >> walk like an egyptian. what happened to her. >> she married the dude that directed austin powers. >> she doesn't have to work. >> we went to school at the same time at the same school. >> did you know her? >> no, she wouldn't speak to people like me. why are you trying to hurt me?

who knew that mubarak wouldn't look so bad? this whole thing was supposed to be something awesome and wonderful. we knew once the muslim brotherhood came around we were in trouble. we talked about this a lot over brunch. when the arab spring started i kept repeating this old cliche. one is be careful what you wish for because you just might get it. >> you came up with those, didn't you? >> the only country that has gotten democracy right and that is america, and lately i am not sure about us. >> that was a subtle jab about barack obama. that's okay. she muslim. bill, as someone who loves uniforms and the men in them you must be ecstatic. >> we don't know what to expect from the muslim brotherhood. they claim they are a little more modern and open minded,

but we don't know if that is true. and all of this devil stuff, the devil is in the details. something to think about. >> not to be a devil's advocate. >> ryan gossling is into the cover. >> he is doing a documentary on free speech. it is fantastic. >> i am all about the 50s amendment. >> greg, one thing, arabs spring forward, arab fall back. >> you don't know how many times i to totally forgot. >> shaw rear don't like that. on the record. i think we crushed that topic. one of the most serious topics ever. >> like, this don't like this, don't like this.

>> to leave a voicemail 212-462-5050. still to come, the half time report from andy levy, also in the an bells. >> tonight's half time report is sponsored by surf dogs. they are capable of riding on the crest of a an ocean wave. thanks, surf dog.

welcome back. let's find out if we have anything wrong so far. let's go to andy levy. hi, andy. >> how are you, greg? >> i'm great. >> that's fantastic. >> you don't care. >> glad one of us is. the washington post asks can anybody be president? the washington post is not an actual wooden post in our nation's capital. >> i beg to defer. >> you may have been thinking of diversity used in the old civil war era. >> i tend to get those things confused. >> tucker, you said it is hard to be president. that's why he shouldn't promise curing cancer or maybe you will make the rising of the ocean slow. >> literally. >> tucker, like you, i don't disagree with the premise it is harder to be president now. he pointed out similar things were said when jimmy carter wasn't. it is weird these things come up when it is a democratic president. >> and the whining. that's how you know.

just the whining, barf. >> speaking of whining, ely -- no, i kid to ely. things like blogs and twitter are things that let people have their voices heard. when people whine and mown about how those things make it more difficult to govern are they saying it is only better when politicians can be heard? >> yes. >> you agree with them? >> i totally agree with them. >> i am plugged in. >> you are. >> pab, don't you think he says, quote, we may never see a two-term president again, but isn't that one of the silly things political consultants say so they can get quoted? >> maybe. people think it is so partisan right now. they have never seen the country so con torted before. people can go back generations and say that it has been very, very divided in the past. >> the civil wharf 1948.

-- war of 1948. it was the south versus the north. that was only 50 years ago, right? >> i will have to check that after the half time. >> come on. it ended slavery. >> was that 50 years ago? >> 1940s. >> i will have to check that. >> which side were you on in that one? >> i wasn't born yet, pab. i was just offensive. bill could you maybe not chew gum like a cow during this show? >> tucker gave me a nick caw rete. is that all you got? you were more -- you were right. >> tucker, you know i love you, and i know you have to defend your guy. he can't do that. that's wrong. jay of course he can. >> it is wrong. >> of course he can.

>> reporters exist to get information. the president exists to cloak information. there will be moments where they are cross purposes. 24r* is a difference between add veer care y'all journalism. journalism. >> here is the argument i would make. their position is when it is president will answer questions when he feels like it. our view is no he has an obligation to answer our questions, not just from "the daily equal caller" but the press and the american people. and the president has will be interrupted 13 times in peaches by peel people shouting out positive things. not once did he say thank you, but when a reporter asks a question he doesn't want to answer it is heckling and outrageous. spare me.

>> the difference between shouting we love you and interruptiing someone -- >> it was a legitimate question. in one case it likes it and the other case it doesn't. to watch the white house press core side with the president against a fellow reporter on an issue like this is gnaws yaiting. it highlights that this group is born by the white house. >> i don't want to go on adnauseam about this. just because you say you shouldn't interrupt the president in the middle of a speech -- i don't think so. >> the white house never acts in a way but will help it politically and reporters shouldn't be a part of that, and yet they are day after day. >> why are you protecting the president? >> he knows things. >> not a lot. >> by the way, quickly on the

wawa thing you were talking about, here is something not being reported. the larger point, he was age the private industry is bigger than the government. he was talking about how easy it is to order a sandwich at wawa scw how hard it is to change your -- >> if only we had read the entire story. >> that's why i am hear. >> were you aware of this amazing, magical ability to use a touch pad to create a sandwich? >> no, but it doesn't strike me as magical. >> i would have the same excitement the same way you had about the pizza making machine. >> if i went into a wawa in new york and that's how you ordered your sandwich i would say, that's cool. i wouldn't call it a touch tone screen though. >> and then you had the new york reporters mocking him. >> when was the last time you were at a wawa.

>> with the scaner they blew something up again. >> do you know how much a carton of milk is. >> $1743. >> you ask will too many milky ways send the planet toward the milky way? >> yes. >> we are in the milky way, dude. >> if you show me a picture -- don't show me one. pictures with the black stuff and the misty crap. i need to see the null thing. the actual thing. i did get some of the latest satellite imagery. we are actually pushing the earth in. this is not good ssments. -- th. >> that's why i said you can't mess with satellite imagery.

>> by the way, congrats on spelling america right, andy. >> i should be president. >> pad, you said conclusion that muscle weights more than fat. when you lose weight the idea is increasing mass means higher energy requirements because it takes more energy to move a heavy body and even as rest a bigger body burns more energy. >> you are right that it incrieses your caloric intake. >> they talk about environmental sustain built and the food chain and all of that. they say americans are consuming too much. so exercise more. >> why doesn't the professors explain the theory to a lion? the lion will bite his head off. >> you just answered your own question. you are wasting everybody's

time. ely you said anybody who agree there's is is a food shortage you haven't been to a hospital. it is called global. >> there were no cost-cos in africa. that's one of the reasons obama moved here. >> i never traveled outside our wonderful country. jay it is amazing when people from other countries see a cost-co. >> do you often take -- >> check this out. >> when they arrive the first place i go is i overwhelm them. >> they can actually see through the leather hood though. by the way the research is estimated to weigh in at 287 million tons. they said 3.5 million of that is due to obesity. that's not much more than the 1%. >> nicely done. >> that study was done by the

london school of hygiene and tropical medicine. >> it sounds like a fed school dropout lisk with his mom. >> it is probably really, really, really dangerous. >> it is like malaria. >> all of the bugs and things. >> they get into your skin. >> a lot of people naffed clive -- named clive went to that school. >> really? >> it is in evening land so i assumed. >> they are all ruggedly hand so -- handsome. >> they are trying to win their freedom. tucker talks 3w* ely and greg talking about the bengals. that was the extent of this subject. >> and the muslim brotherhood can't do anything yet. do you remember that part? >> andy, did you remember the amazing lead?

>> i did remember the amazing lead. >> that's one of the primary reasons we did this story. >> actually the primary reason why we did this. >> we were going to pitch it, but bros before hoes was an innovative way to lead the story off. >> thank you. >> what do you mean, thank you? i wrote it and then you changed it. >> you said bros before es. i said bros after hoes. >> i said bros not hoes. i think we can call agree. >> you could not come up with that coming up with the arrange. >> that's how you write jokes. you don't just throw words at the screen. and you don't just hope they are mildly amusing. you hone it until you have the perfectly crafted joke which

is what i did. >> as evidenced by that. >> and again you are welcome. i am done. >> go away. i love that. coming up, a story so sexy that if he were a marcupial, he would violate the laws of itch that. first, what is wrong with these speakers? probably not nothing.

they made a fuss over her bust. see, that's not a rhyme. and now southwest airlines has apologized to a woman who was told she couldn't board a flight because her cleavage was, quote, inappropriate, end quote. been there, girlfriend. the lass who is headless, seen here says she was traveling from vegas to new york when a ticket agent said she couldn't fly unless she covered up. she boarded and later told the website, quote, i didn't want to let the representative's big feelings about my breast change the way i intended to

board my flight. low and behold, the plane didn't fall out of the sky. not sure about that. let's discuss this, shall we, in the -- lightning rooooouuuuunnnnddd. lightning round. >> tucker, you have been on top of this story since day one. did the airline do the right thing? did they apologize? >> but it won't stop there. america has been in search of a new civil rights movement since 1965. this is the row uh parks -- this is the rosa parks of the air traveling movement. 24r are so many slogans you can make out of cleavage and cleave and edge and cleavage. pr -- pab, i go to you because in a way -- >> you want me to go for the low hanging fruit, is that it? >> what would you do if it was you? >> well, it is ridiculous. it is a woman's opinion. they don't have a policy as far as i understand.

there is no dress code for boarding the flight. she took matters into her own hands. granted the out sit is horrible she makes the point that the guy on the flight was wearing a t-shirt with a condom behind plastic. >> seems like it is always southwest having these issues with either overweight people and what people are wearing. does it make them bizarre or awesome. you never what what you are going to do. >> i think it speaks to the fact that we have a severe shortage of straight, male flight attendance. attendants. she would be like, come on in, honey. >> i wish i thought of that. >> shouldn't we encourage people to wear last one flying? perhaps the icon de hillary leave the stress. >> i am against sticking candy in eyes. that is bad for the entire head.

second of all i didn't think there was anything called inappropriate cleavage. i am teen southwest or team south breast. >> i think the equivalent for the male would be a bizarre bulge. >> like a cotton piece. >> but nobody woulds defending the wear of the cod piece. >> i don't see anything wrong with what you have done. i don't see the problem. >> i don't understand this. i don't understand southwest, and i love southwest. i just don't gets how -- everybody is robed there. they can make up their minds. i am taking a break. we have two more stories when we come back. i promise, we will talk about it.

next topic. addidas is getting a ton of slack, whatever that is, for new sneaks that has shackles around the ankles. they were on the facebook page with the caption asking, quote, got a sneaker game so hot you lock your kicks to your ankles.

is that even in english? have i no idea what that meant. are they just goofy looking sneakers and nothing more? >> this is terrible. it is so offensive. it shonts just be african-americans that are offended my dad was in a chain gang. >> i don't believe that for a second. >> sorry, dad. >> you threw him under the chain link fence. tucker? assuming that this is actually real, or perhaps it was a promotional gill mick, how could they not see that the design is is -- might be a problem or not a problem. first of all i don't believe they never thought. this is part of a pr campaign so sophisticated that, a, we are part of it, and b we don't understand it. but people who buy the sneakers do. have i a question as they hit the stores in august. i don't believe that, but if

they do, should they? pab? >> i think it is the most ridiculous looking design i have ever seen. as ely said, it is not just the slavery only. only-- analgye prison thing. there is a hip prison culture. >> and you actually are part of the hip prison culture. >> we all remember notorious pab and your raps and you were disgusting. the original tag line was we heart race -- racism. >> i wrote that and i am still waiting to get paid. they were talking about prison because it was orange like orange jump suit. if it was anymore offensive than the pumps yous for the fact that the pumps were equally offended.

skew run-d.m.c. if they are offended i retract my statement. >> this was a promotional gimmick on a website. >> who will buy that? >> i don't know. >> you never know. >> they would look good if you were naked. that would look cool. last topic, on sunday coalition forces in afghanistan en gaged the enemy on twitter. they started boasting about a recent road side bomb that killed eight troops. a spokesman for our side said, while eight were killed, don't you think there would be an announcement from isaf. after a few exchanges the taliban says super duper pro tip, it makes you look like a juvenile. when they start arguing on-line, i think we have won, right? >> no, we have lost in such a huge way. this is the most post modern moment of my life.

we totally lost. >> maybe we are doing both. >> if the taliban's bowl is to kill people, does that mean twitter should shut it down? >> good question. there is the literal war where we try to get their weapons and whatnot and then there is the war that keeps recruiting and recruiting. i understand we have to do that with modern technology. it makes me feel uncomfortable having snarky banter with members of the taliban. >> we know somebody like andy levy who is essentially his career has been thwarted by his constant obsession with twitter. could it be possible the taliban on twitter could hinder their performance. >> at this point i will completely ignore your question.

actually all of the people attacking me for my rodney king jokes. well it was the best. i want you to know okc at casey anderson, i don't care. >> you are on tv. casey an deer sovereign is -- anderson is not on tv. >> it requires a social networking device to do that. the reason we haven't shutdown is because we get them in these snits going back and forth. i would assume vis-a-vis our satellite technology we can find them. wouldn't it be easy at some point to get an angry taliban guy putting lol and get real with a z at the end? we would find them eventually. both sides have lost to one grammar. >> on that ending we will go to commercial.

for more go to red eye.

back to tv's andy levy for the post game wrap up. >> thanks, greg. tucker, what did you write about john stewart? >> he is taking a lot of shots at mitt romney for being part of the notorious 1%. john stewart is making money faster than mitt romney. we have the details. amusing. ely, how will you call out casey anderson on the show? >> the thrill of his life. >> are you doing any shows on the east coast? >> yes. philadelphia on wednesday. i will be in boston on sunday. and new york a couple shows next week. elybraden.com for more details. >> pab when are you back, fox and friends? >> yes. do we know casey anderson is a guy? >> yes. we know casey. back to you, greg. >> thank you, andy. >> you are welcome. special thanks to bab, bill