>> dana: stuart varney is away and greg and i are on tonight together. >> eric: we have to go. that's it for "the five." tomorrow's show is our one like this week in baseball if by baseball you mean john gibson's hots dog. what is coming up on tonight's show? >> i will stay with you until my seeds are dried up. and a new survey saying schools are too easy. and you won't believe how a group is making creative use of chicago's gun buy back program. and finally, a muslim and a christian walk into a hotel room, and it turns out they agree about porn. greg? >> thanks, andy. >> you bet, greg. >> that's it? >> i have nothing, man.

>> nothing? >> not a thing. all i'm thinking about, "dark knight" next week. don't care about anything else including your stupid show. >> well, at least are you honest. >> yes, i am, sir. >> go away. let's welcome our guest. she is so hot that baseball coaches now tell pitchers to bring the brooke goldstein. i am here with brooke goldstein. that was a clever swing there. founder of the children rights institute, totally made up, and the director of the law fare project. her latest book is called law fare, the war against free speech. it is a real knee slapper. and he is funnier than a mime stuffed in a clown stuffed in a ven trillion law qis and covered in bloods. and he wreaks of failure and hot pockets. it is bill schulz. and in these parts they call him john gibson. after all, he is john gibson, host of the very sexy and syndicated radio program named after him, the john gibson show on fox news radio weak

days -- weekdays at noon eastern. and he is a lefty freak whose outlook is bleak. good to see you, pinch owe. >> in today's times he writes of a famous nude beach destination in wisconsin? oh may word. what do you make of naked beer bellied sun bathers smack dab in the middle of dairy land. porch, do you even know what you are laughing at? >> dinosaur? >> okay. get him out of here. >> he really is embarrassing. >> yes. is schooling less than grueling? well, students nationwide report their studies ain't not easy. well, prps the system really is failing them. according to analysis of federal survey data, my favorite way to come up with a

sentence, many don't find school challenging. they say work in subjects like math and history is often or always easy. and 12th graders revealing they rarely write about what they read in class. said the co author of the report, quote, the notion that every american kid is going home with a backpack loaded with 70 pounds of books, well that's not happening. which raises the question, what are their backpacks full of? see for yourself. they can't read a puppy, but they are sure adorable, much like yourself. if so many kids think school is easy, doesn't that mean america's youth is really just getting started. getting smarter? >> could it be? >> i guess it could be. this report comes from the

center for america in progress, famously a bunch of liberals. if they are complaining about schools failing, it is the fault of liberals. it is their own darn fault. jay do they have an agenda? >> i don't know what they want. first they made it so kids can't learn anything, and now they are complaining about it. what they ought to do is flush the libs out of the school administration buildings and the university of -- the university education systems. >> i like the way you think, young man. you hang around play -- >> you happening around -- hang around playgrounds of all ages. i skipped 10th, 11th and 12th grade. you know what it is? it was so easy. these kids are really dumb for saying, make it tougher. they are pretty dumb. let's keep it at an easy playing field. i know somebody who worked at a school sis steel in jersey. they were fired because he was

failing. they have to meet the quota and they get their money from the state or basically from paying tolls and they have to reach the quotas. >> if a teacher fails students, then they are failing their own job. they have to get these kids through. brooke, you are nodding as if you agree with something i said. it is hard to tell with you sometimes. how should we fix the educational system. you always have answers. please keep it to 10 seconds or less jie. it is not by making alah part of the educational system. did you hear what representative andre carson recently said we should model our schools after madraffa? we at the children's rights institute look at them and they are basically suicide schools. look at what is happening in pakistan. this is outrageous. i can't believe the media is

not all over this statement. jay we actually talked about it yesterday on the show. it was on "the five." but i am glad you brought it up. what a wonderful thing. >> it should be brought up more. every news station should be talking about this issue. >> the best school system was whenilly jack ran his school. there was no pressure. you maybe do yoga one day and tie dye some graw noel law, and then the principal kicks somebody in the head and kills them and then everybody sits on the side singing "one tin soldier." >> that is a spoiler. not everyone has seen "billy jack." bill, your mouth is open. >> i have to disagree. the greatest school system as we know is the you are receive vens class in "head of the class" the sitcom of the early to late 80s and the beauty of" head of the class" is they didn't have to change the porn name. >> very, very important. although my favorite classroom

was in the class of 1984 staring timothy van patton. >> what about the movie class? you can't spell class without ass and the tour de force about a cougar. >> how about the hotties on "saved by the bell"? screech? >> okay, i will see you "saved by the bell" and say" welcome back carter." welcome back carter because it feels like you never left. >> forget "welcome back carter" and how about" room 222" because it was easy to remember. >> let's talk about rooms. let's talk "227" which was the place to be with marla gibbs and her family. it is "227" on saturdays on nbc. >> when you say "227" as gambler i will wheel those numbers tomorrow. >> that ended oddly. >> and yet importantly. >> i have to go back before we move on to the richest points. these kids #r* finks. the kids in the research were

finks. they told them it was too easy when they should have said it was too hard. that's the lesson i learned. >> they are snitches. those are the kids in world war ii are like -- you don't want to get pulled over. it is in the trunk. >> thank you. from grades to guns they are using the city's loot to teachers and kids how to shoot. a pro gun group in illinois, is there any other kind, claims it used money it got from the chicago gun buy back program to fund a shooting camp for kids. guns save life, great name, people and sold 60 firearms including five bb guns and a shotgun held together by duct tiff and zip ties for over six grand. and they are using the money to buy rifles and am mow for an nra camp teaching kids 9 to 16, quote, how much fun shooting sports are and how to handle guns safely. the gun buy back program is

aimed for the streets, but the real delicious irony here is that the city of chicago is paying for rifles that were giving away to young people as part of the camp. for more let's go to the alcohol, tobacco and firearms correspondent. >> see, any animal can enjoy the pleasures of smoking. i think this idea was ingenuous. am i wrong? >> no. but there is no evidence that kids in chicago don't know how to shoot. they are actually shooting up the town every weekend. more people have been killed in chicago this year than have been killed in afghanistan. forget the gun buy back program.

they should be taking them off the kids on the streets. >> i think that's an -- there are two points there. gun buy back programs do not do anything. >> the people who people -- >> that's exactly. so these guys were brilliant, brooke, because they took that useless program and taught law abiding citizens to use guns in what is really a crime riddled society. isn't it better you have young people who are law abiding learning to shoot. >> is it better they are taking the young people off the street and training them how to use guns. >> they are thinking about two different groups of people. >> i am all for the constitutionally protected right to bear arms. i am also for child safety. and the two are not mutually exclusive. it undermines the campaign that they are showing the stupidity of the government program. and it is ridiculous. they are not buying guns from criminals. they are not buying guns that can be used. and they turn around and they have this camp for nine-year-olds.

it underminds the credibility of the whole thing. >> they undermind the incredited built, and they were able to teachers and the law abiding citizens how to use the guns. >> we were going to sented our five-year-old to gun camp. he is more of a science freak. so we are sending them to mets camp. that's why people hate rich people. they get to go to gun camp. poor people have to learn to use guns in the streets. can you imagine that letter home? mom, i got sunburned, mosquito bites and a bullet lodged in my shoulder. i want to come hoa. i don't like this camp. >> camps are good. it is teaching kids how to use weapons. >> are you suggesting that this m cay p is designed to teachers and -- this camp is designed to teachers and law abiding kids to shoot? >> it is like learning to drive a car. >> how to have fun.

>> responsibility comes with a weapon. that's the way it works. >> do you think nine-year-olds should be shooting guns? that's what it boils down to. >> it already happens. kids are learning to shoot. if you live on a farm, if you are in a hunting family, when do you -- you know, john. >> boy scouts used to give uh merit badge for this. not anymore. >> if you are part of the ab or the k, you know -- >> this -- that is aryan brotherhood. gee -- >> we didn't know the acro name. i did notice you had interesting tattoo. bill, you tried to turn into two frosting guns from your baking class. did you get money for that? >> no, i got a swift kick in the head. as the only one that is from the chicago area, here is how it will go. the white sox fans will look at the fact that their team is inexplicably in first place at the allstar break and they

will take their guns and shoot them in the air. the guns fans will stick them in their mouth and blow their heads off. this ends badly for everyone. >> well othat note let's move on. from firearms to finances. he wants a peek at mitt's balance sheet. president obama is putting pressure on romney to released details about an offshore bank account saying, what is important is the american people know who you are and what you have done and that you are an open book. democrats have pounced on mitt like they always do. after details of offshore accounts in switzerland, bermuda and the caymen islands. romney's camp denies he used foreign funds to lower his tax bill. meanwhile, a new survey found users of the iphone, whatever that sare more obama prone. people with high-tech hands held devices are more likely

to support the president in november. all of which raises another question, do clams like potato chips? >> i don't know how to respond to that except to say, good for you, clam. watch your cholesterol and your sodium. >> how should romney respond to this? i feel he doesn't know how to respond to anything like this. >> is anybody clueless that rom iny is rich? that romney is rich? how does he know -- the reason they know he the accounts in bermuda and the caymens and switzerland was in the tax

records that romney released. what is the secret here? there is no secret. romney is rich. get over it. maybe you would like to be rich too. vote for him. >> brooke, you were waiving your hand. that's the whole point is agreeing. it is not the romney campaign that has the secrecy and transparency problems. the obama administration entire drone war is defined by see craw vee. why is hillary clinton meeting with the islamic corporation. where is the information on the fast and furious? where is obama's transcript. the whole ploy to use the secrecy thing is almost laughable to me i think. >> brooke bringing it. >> he is not hiding money from the people. it is from his wife. that's like every normal marriage. you have a shirt put away for when things don't work out. obama is trying to get

tricky. he is the rich guy. you can't connect orie late to him. you can relate to me. he is as loaded as the next man. he is trying to trick you, he is too powerful and rich. i want a guy with money. i want a guy like that. that guy will not do anything shady to make more money. >> he doesn't have to. >> he doesn't need it. >> that's like bloomburg. then you end up with a bloomburg so wealthy all he wears about is soda pop. that's what we will talk about in the next segment. bill, you have a swiss sock account. you keep your money in your swiss socks. >> just a swiss army knife. we don't know why -- we don't know how much money he has in the overseas accounts, and we don't know why they are there, and he is not telling anyone. the american voters deserve to know why. it could be anywhere from $20 million to $100 million. you have to ask yourself, why hasn't he told us by now? there is something he doesn't

want us to know, and it is probably not good. furthermore george romney whose dad paid more in taxes than romney ever will, 36% which is double what romney is paying, he disclosed everything. he didn't just disclose his taxes, but he did it 12 years back. he didn't find loopholes either. i want to know why. >> if it is kosher, are you voting for romney? >> he is mormon, not jewish. >> you realize the accounts were closed two years ago? >> huh? why are they there? >> they are not there. they closed two years ago. >> no, they are still there. the overseas accounts are still there. >> the worst thing about the story is "vanity fair" spent 4,000 words from an author closely aligned with occupy wall street to do this story and there are no laws broken. >> i didn't say he broke any laws. there are a million legitimate reasons to have money

overseas. he hasn't given us a reason. >> i wish you felt like this with obama's transcripts. >> when did i say i didn't feel that way? we have a right to know what they were doing. >> i need to know. >> you know why he has money overseas? >> he is no dummy. >> he hasn't said where it came from. >> i want to know how to get an offshore account. >> answer those e-mails. >> technically it is. what is the secret to healthy, beautiful skin? brooke goldstein on why she drinks a quart of kitten's blood every day. but first, does the million gulp march live up to its name? if it was a few people shouting, then yes. >> guests on "red eye" stay with greg's neighbor carl, now offering pull out couch, futon or beanbag chair.

♪ he'll watch you while you sleep ♪

well, he is the size of a doll, and he hates all things tall. i speak of michael bloomburg who is pushing smaller sizes, and not just in soda. the big apple's tiny mayor, all two feet 6 inches is asking developers to test tiny apartments which the city planners believe could be the answer to the growing number of smaller households. the so-called microunits, which is my nickname in college, would come with a bathroom and kitchenett with 400 square feet of space, which if my math is correct is roughly the size of a football field. and one reporter asked about a

nearby protest against this soda ban -- or his soda ban called the million big gulp march. have a listen to the new york gnaw poll yen's response. >> i don't know what the march is all about. if you want to kill yourself, i guess you have a right to do it. we are trying to do something about that. >> did he just encourage people to commit suicide? what kind of mayor are you? in other news, let's see how the on going single moon walker march is coming along. >> not sure what he is protesting, but i'm with him 100%. the big gulp march had 50 people. do they get mad and stop caring about something? >> they work and have things to do. you know what? i will drink what i want to drink.

and i will eat what i want to eat. these politicians are like celebrities. they have to have a cause. they have to be in the news. here is a cause, pay for the freedom to tower without bond money. there is a good cause. these are dumb causes. they just want face time. i also think he had stock in small cups. >> he does. that makes good sense. brooke, you strike me as somebody for the stupid soda ban. >> absolutely not. i love when he said you wanna kill yourself, fine. the government will let you. as if that is something bad. exactly! that's what we want. the government out of our personal space. he gets it finally. >> i think you might want to kill yourself if you are living in one of those tiny apartments. >> is that a bad idea? >> there are already microscopic apartments in this town. how much smaller can they get? hotel rooms i guess. he said i don't want you to

drink soda or smoke. you need canola oil to have french fries. and he puts you in an apartment so small you want to open the window and jump. >> obviously it is not for families. it is for single guys. if you are single in new york and can't afford a place you shouldn't be in new york. if i was a single guy, i would love to live in one of those places because i have low self-esteem. this way i know i would not be bringing a fatty back. >> that is the most bizarre logic. i would like the tiny apartments because bringing somebody home i would appear rnlg laker -- i would appear larger which i would literally be a 6 foot 8, 260 line backer which would be awesome given the fact i am 6 foot 2 and 190. bill, what do you make of this? you don't have an apart meant. you don't have an apartment. you live in an under pass.

>> i don't like your comment about obviously they are not for families. my whole thing is get in my microapartment and then actively recruit large families to live with me. i will force them to go in there if they say no. i will do it. the more together we are the better. >> that is beautiful. that is true. we have to take a break. do you have a comment? e-mail us. 212-462-5050. still to come, the half time report from tv's andy levy. he lives in a tiny apartment. >> tonight's half time report is sponsored by the fictional airborne ballgame where players fly on broom sticks. thanks, quitage.

let's see in we got anything wrong so far. for that we go to andy levy. >> oh hey. >> did we catch you by surprise? >> a little bit. wasn't ready. >> still thinking about "the dark knight." >> never stopped thinking about it. >> funny thing is aren't talking about the movie. >>- q. i it is a friend of mine -- >> it is a friend of mine coming to town. schools are too easy. john, you blame this on progressives. i don't think it is a coincidence that when we started giving out things like medals for participation schools became easier because if you make things harder some may not do as well and it may

hurt their precious self-esteem. but it is also due to the emphasis on standardized tests. students are not given a chance to think. and i'm sorry, buts a lot of that falls on george w. bush and the no child left behind. >> nice try. >> thank you. i think i succeeded. >> not so sure. >> blame bush for everything. >> that's when i do. >> you are on a roll. >> that's true though, right? >> bush started standardized test ?g. >> no, no child left behind. >> standardized testing is the disease. we can talk about that without saying bush made a regulation that made more standardized testing. that is the regular in our school. who started standardized testing? >> don't tell me what a disease is. i happen to be an expert in all manner of diseases. >> brooke, let me quote from bush's assistant secretary of

education who in 2010 decided she didn't like it. she said, quote, instead of raiding standards, no child left behind actually lowered standards because many states have dumbed down their test or changed the scoring to say more kids are passing than actually r. >> okay, fine, but that is irrelevant to the story we were discussing. >> how is that irrelevant to the story? the story is that kids are saying school is too easy. i'm saying part of that is because teachers are teaching with standardized tests and they have dumbed down the test because they want more kids to pass. >> you want to blame george bush or the teachers? >> i am not blaming george bush, john. all i am saying is you wanted to blame it all on progressives. there is plenty of blame to go around. >> you can look at years and years and years of schools and the philosophy behind education and it comes from liberals. >> i don't disagree with that. i am not letting them off the hook.

>> you said, you know what? we have a problem here. what does bush have to do with it? >> that's what i said? that's really odd. i didn't say that at all. >> i left my kid behind once at a rest area. i can't blame bush for that. i have three kids. >> i am told they found your child and he was in the bushes. youyou can blame bush to some respect. >> when i said having nothing to do with the story, make sure the way the education system works which has nothing to do with the story whatsoever. >> yes. why do you think i come on the show to talk about it is things you guys pick or things that mean something to me? >> it is a fair point. >> that's why we love brooke. >> you skipped 10th, 11th, 12th grades? >> i didn't show up. i went there to sell things.

>> stay in school, kids. >> are you trying to say they will end up like me? >> really? i have a rolex, pal. >> it came with a hand. >> like that's real. >> the lesson you learned is these kids are fakes? >> yes. >> it is hard to believe the chinese have taken over the world. joy don't know what you mean by that, but i agree. see, i am stupid. >> welcome back carter, are you kidding me? >> coder. >> and nobody corrected you. >> we hoped it would be over in a matter of time, but it kept going. >> full disclosure, i have never actually seen. it but i am told tom cruise is amazing. john, you said more americans have been killed in chicago than killed in afghanistan which is absolutely correct. 275 murders in chicago, 168

fatalities in afghanistan so far. john, here is what mayor emmanuel and gary mccarthy said at a news conference on monday. i think you will think this sounds familiar. they said the gang strategies in place before they arrived were the ones that failed and not their policies. >> he is blaming bush! >> exactly. >> i give them credit. they are trying. they are one millimeter short. >> they also stopped the previous police superintendent who used to do these things where they would do heavy raids to drug areas and they stopped that now. >> they have another tactic. >> i blame the whole thing on frank. >> it is good to stay current. >> once the capone boys were taken out of the picture, it goes to hell. >> they were in a way enforcing their own kind of order, weren't they? >> absolutely.

obama stuff, john, i completely agree the whole romney is rich stuff has gotten old. shouldn't he just released 10 years of tax returns to shut everyone up. >> i guess, but maybe not now. they are demanding he reveal his plan for this thing or that thing, and he probably will, but why do it because they are demanding it? joy it is such a good strategy if you think about it. if he doesn't released them and the obama campaign keeps harping on it and harping and on and he released easy them and there is nothing in there, doesn't he look better? >> that's the same strategy for the birth certificate which is like the -- let everybody follow it. >> whoa, whoa, whoa, the alleged birth certificate, thank you very much. i don't know if you are aware -- >> i can tell what you is in his tax returns. you open them up and you will see $250 million. there you go. >> i agree. i doubt seriously he has

anything to hide which is why i don't get he doesn't dump them out there. >> i remember how bad this was at john kerry or doing it gren. or doing it again. >> exactly. >> rich, you noy a lot about men keeping bank accounts secret from their wives. >> this is my second marriage. he is not going to take -- well, the last one i had a couple of crates and a um could of pitchers i bought at a flea market. now i have a rolex. >> not that watch. >> i am no expert when it comes to exwives, but when you are talking about them, you shouldn't show them you have a rolex. >> no, i just -- you have have something on the side. you may want to take a vacation. >> i am too old. >> bill, you said romney is hiding something he doesn't want the american people to know. romney doesn't even know where

the offshore accounts are. they are part of a blind trust. ji why would he know where they are? >> that's what i am saying. >> that's what i am asking. i never said he is hiding something. it is just that he wonted released them. >> but they are part of a blind trust. do you buy that? >> he doesn't know where his money is? >> most are in a blind trust, yes. >> and they don't know where that is? >> they have to. it won't influence their decision making. jay have i a blind trust. -- >> i have a blind trust. >> do you? >> no. >> i play it in a quasi rock band called blind trust. it is an amalgam of eric clapton means miles davis. >> you play a game with your house boys called -- called blind trust. >> and they fall for it every time. >> it is unbelievable.

and they are bliebd and trust me. >> tiny apartments and drinks. john, you said you might want to kill yourself if you lived in that apartment. >> i lived in a shoe box for four years and was miserable. i moved to a nice bigger place and look how much more cheerful i am. >> po nie t taken. point taken. >> that is your selling point? >> that is my rolex. that's all i have. >> is the deck roughly the size of the little area you were in right now or smaller? >> it is about this size fnlt. this is a nice size. >> >> look at those sharing a living space. >> i can see coming home and putting on your deck shoes to go out on your deck. >> with my ascot. i dress up like the skipper from "gilligan's island."

>> who doesn't? >> but it is cooler on a deck and my neighbors think so. i'm done. whatever. >> are you done? >> why not? >> i can't remember. coming up, stories so amazing if they were pickles you would say, those are amazing pick qels, and then stair out a window out of a middle. coming a story on more than -- a story on porn. i know, we are just like "fox and friends."

i always saw that word and never knew how to pronounce it. porn is available at most hotels based on statistic easy made up. now a pair of religious lieders, a christian and muslim, are teaming up to get the share raw tons and the -- the sheratons and the red rooves to remove the smut.

they argued in an open letter that just because something is legal doesn't make it right. as another example, they cite the civil rights struggles. they are not calling for a boycott just that they do what is right as a matter of conscience. let's discuss this in the -- >> lightning roooouuuunnnnddd. lightning round. >> brooke, could hatred of porn bring all religions together, including the ones that you hate? >> this is an inter faith initiative. it warms my heart. the thing about free speech, greg, first it is porn and then it is cartoons of mohamed on comedy central. and cartoons of mohamed are banned on comedy central. they are religious police. what can i say? hotel porn, same thing? >> i have never seen hotel porn. i have no idea. you are not going to trap me

that way, greg. >> i wasn't trying to trap you. >> you are asking is the right to watch porn in your hotel the same as the right to vote? >> i guess so. they want to ban hotel porn, and they are bearing that fight to the civil rights. >> it is the deepened of the pool to compare anything and i won't go there. i spent years and years and years going into hotels without porn. if they didn't have it today i don't think i would miss it. so what? >> have you an active imagination. >> no, now we have the internet. >> if hotels no longer provide porn, what will stand up comics like you do? >> what are they going to do, stop you from bringing your computer in? how about the cup i put to the wall in the room next to me. >> they charge $19 at the marriott.

>> if i am trying to get excited i think about some of the best golf courses i played. if i get to beth page and i can't climax then, i'm done. it is good memories. >> that is up lifting and depressing of the do you ever try to tap in and get free porn? >> i do a lot with the antenna, but this is a family show. these guys just on the i -- just outed themselves. red roof the only one we can afford. >> take the porn off the channels because we can't control ourselves. the fact the there means we will use the option. >> i find the two words together, hotel porn, is so depressing. hotel implies you are somewhere is, but yet hotel porn says you are not outside or not outdoing something. you are in a room where you can be anywhere in the world. hotel porn says you are could

be outdoing something. go on a haunted tour. >> that's only because you choose to look at it as glass half empty. as a glass half full guy i like to look at it i am surrounded by. -- by the naked friends. >> it is only the females. we have seen that a million times. >> that's a big complaint among many viewers. we have to take a break, but don't think of leaving now.

next topic. some british lady just wrote an article about how she snoops on her husband's e-mails, voicemails and texts. i believe special report lead with this tonight, but i don't know. samantha brick who looks familiar to me. i swear we have done stories on her in the past. and i will remember it shortly. she says she spies on her hub be, not because she doesn't trust him, because she doesn't trust other women. yes, because he is so irresistible. >> i know who she is. >> who? >> she said she is the most

beautiful woman in the world, and women are so jealous of her every time she walks in a room. >> that's the one. it created a brew huh huh if i may use that phrase. that's the one. what she does is like every two months she must write a story that is about herself and then we go for it. it is just so annoying. >> we are the real losers. >> we are the real losers. >> one thing she does president use is use conditioner. terrible hair, girlfriend. >> they are going to come after you, her fans. >> look at that. >> i never wrote an article saying i am the amazing looking guy or girl. >> you were the editor of men's hair monthly. >> men's stair monthly. i was on the cover and i just staired. >> i always see you as a free spirit, independent and strong. if a boyfriend looked into your e-mail how fast would he

be gone and what would he find? >> i would put him in jail. it is illegal. >> put him in jail? >> sorry. it just made me so mad. she makes women look terrible and men look terrible. i read this article. it is disgusting. she is outrageous. >> who told you to read it? i think that is the first time you have ever done that. you know how much better it is when she does it than bob beckle. >> the funny thing is this is the first show she has been on that she was not stoned. >> i think it helped. >> she's mad. >> you better correct that on record right now or you are going down. >> stoned by infidels that are angry at the good work she does. >> is that good enough? >> welcome. >> so nobody is confused about what the word was? >> no one is confused.

let me say that was a joke, brooke. i don't want you suing us because you know you will. >> i don't know if you have media liability. >> are you digging the hole even worse. >> what is your take on this? >> as a married man there were times i was insecure and a jealous guy. you have to let go. i will g on the road and sometimes i will come up and left a fingerprint off a glass or pick up a hair sample, but i don't get crazy. i have my own lab, but you know what i mean? i am not going to spy. i am out of my hind. i won't stop. i don't trust her. i don't like her. >> bill, you actually contacted her husband on my space and flirted quite a bit. did she ever catch you. >> no, she pretended to be him and it got back to me.

i would like to take this opportunity to apologize to girls and her very cute house. we have to take a break. oh brookie. >> brookie is hungry for a cookie. >> stop it! we will close things out with a post game wrap up with tv's andy levy. to see clips of recent shows go to fox news.com/red eye.

we will see you back here for "the five." coming up we have keith alb re stat. back to andy levy for the post game wrap up. >> nice shirt. where did you get it? >> it is a persona-nongrata which is what i am on the show jie. you are the best. >> it is made by a new

company, lrct's left right tee's. they express all sorts of political opinions. check it out. >> does it go to charity or to you? >> from now on it does. i just did the plug. it goes to my charity. right? >> i don't know. john, when is your next comedy gig? >> just radio. noon to 3. great radio stations across the land. >> how is it going? >> it is called my life hates me. if you want to appreciate your marriage, listen to our pod cast. you will love it. >> where do you find pod casts? >> where do you find them? on itunes or via cast.com. did i say it wrong? >> no, ib ma i dwint hear it. >> he knows nothing about technology. i think we had a pod cast for awhile. >> you did. >> i never knew where it was though. i couldn't find. it a