it happened all night and i was embarrassed that brit hume thought we were stupid. >> greg: that is better than the dream i had. that was better. >> bob: get out of here. >> greg: c'ya. welcome to "red eye." i'm greg gutfeld, or as i am known in the olympicville leming, mary lou rete ton. retton. andy, what is coming up on tonight's show? >> should saudi arabia's women's judo be allowed to compete while wearing a head scarf? some say no, and others say naam which is arabic for yes. and finally do pick up lips work? some say no and others say, how are you doin? >> thanks, andy. >> you bet. >> hope you had a police sent day off. do anything special? >> yes, i did i went to the

-- >> sounds great. let's welcome our guest. she is so hot she can steam clean a rug just by walking on it. i am here with defense attorney rebecca rose woodland. and his lips were insured for far too much money, if you want my opinion. he needs an image makeover. and cabo orca bow, -- or cabo, who cares? and if commentary were biologyhr to help me do him. sit ks next to me, dennis neil. and it would make everyone's day if he just went away. our new york times correspondent, please be good tonight. >> according to art and leisure, it has a plethora of difficult subject matters. what movie are you looking forward to in the months ahead? >> apple sauce. >> okay, well, that's not an actual title.

what movie are you interested in, son? >> apple sauce. >> okay. somebody get him some apple sauce. greg? >> when is his internship over? >> that's a very good question. actually we don't even remember hiring him. >> our inter shirn at fox ends in two weeks, so i'm assuming he is gone by then. >> he is just giving people a lot of paper cuts. her muslim garb is no longer bared. a judo fighter from saudi arabia, is there any other kind, will be able to grab pell wearing a form of headscarf. her participation almost didn't pan out after judo officials said it could be dangerous due to chokeholds and aggressive grabbing techniques, something my house boys have to deal with constantly. after days of talks an agreement was reached that the safety and cultural considerations. thank god -- i mean praise huh law. for more we 2 to the olympics correspondent mike saint

michaels in london. as usual, there is a tape delay. mike, are you there? >> thanks, greg. in competitive judo they wear uniforms where they are able to grip and throw their opponents also for submissions. i tried to speak with the young ladies earlier in london, but they declined to be interviewed. some judo experts say by wearing a head scarf it inhibits the opponent and makes for subject to choke. it also allows the opponent an extra surface to grip. the young lady might already be on her way out of the olympics. >> was that andy i just saw? you are not really in london, are you? >> that's it from london. back to you, greg. >> i never trusted that kid

when we hired him. i said no hairy, hairy people on the show. paul, good to see you are fresh from the addition from the brawny towel comer -- commercial. >> thank you very much. >> you were beaten up daily by kids who know judo, so it makes you an expert on this. should she be allowed to participate like this? >> as long as it doesn't give anybody -- anyone she is competing with a disadvantage. i don't have a problem with that. the bigger issue is -- you just want to make fun of my shirt. >> no, go ahead. >> it is made out of red flannel material. you know, material you don't have when you try to take numbers at me? snubs at me? the biggest problem i have -- -- >> you will end up going back to the saw mill. >> why do i even come? then it will be andy. >> you still have not finished your po nie t. >> you never let me finish it. >> you interrupted mooy with a

bad joke. dash dosh interrupted me with a bad joke. you asked you a question. >> the issue is they lead her -- in the effort to have all women represented by all 205 countries, they let saudi arabia allow her to be in the game without even going through the olympic trials like everybody else has to go through in the name of being progressive. you are not a progressive country when your athletes see the olympic torch and go, where is the ephigy. >> that was a funny joke. you are shocked i laughed. >> don't comments on it. just laugh and saw -- and support me a little bit. >> you don't need to pref physician it with in-- preface it with insecure. >> you worked for years on the fox judo channel. >> indeed i have. first it is a story that makes you want to say, well, that's a really -- i am so happy pour her. but then you see she is a heavyweight and it is hard to root for somebody who can beat me up i am troubled about it.

what if she had told the saudi arabian government, i don't want to wear a headscarf? it is a couple minutes and i want to compete without it. then would we have been so concerned about her wishes ? >> she would have been stoned for being a woman. >> she wouldn't be in london. she wouldn't be anywhere near the olympics. >> rebecca, you raise a good point. should we be compromising with a country that would do something like that if she had said no? >> now, that's another clit plight cal a political issue. >> it is religious and they are allowing her for religious reasons and not based on the criminal activity that would occur if she did not comply. should we respect other countries religions if it doesn't interfere with the sport 1234* i guess we have to do a give and take. it is a balance. >> that is true.

>> there is an issue of safety regarding this, and they are allowing a m would who has never competed ever in the sport of judo at the highest level of competition, and her only experience in battle is tieing her blue belt, which we think she got because it matches her green shoes. i am on a roll, and you have to say so. >> now you ruined your roll by pointing it out. >> for the viewers at home, is he on a roll? >> like a big kaiser roll because he is a worthless piece of meat. >> she is a blue belt. there are 10-year-old american girls who have a higher skill set than she does. forget about the head scarf. she signed up for the class in the mall. i don't know if she has actually gone there yet. she has zero business being there. we don't have have to have every country. if we are going to have a country, at least be a black belt. don't make the belt that is black tied around your head. it has to be right here.

>> two things. you said if it doesn't get involved or interfere with the sport. that is the thing. if you are wrestling her, it actually helps the adversary because they can pull on the scarf. that's what you do. you throughy people down. you throw people down. >> you should be allowed to throw them down. >> but if you pull it off, then does she get punished? could you get her killed? >> but you are implying that we are even wasting time figuring out strategy for her. these guys are thinking ahead before they go into the ring with old blue belt. just wait for a gust of wind to topple her over. >> she has one unfair disadvantage. she is one piece of material away. >> the other thing too, you said if it is religion it doesn't compromise. i don't think the olympic committee has enough to argue against it. if they said in their religion they wore a helmet, or

something that was really hard -- the olympic committee would still go with that. >> if you are saudi arabia, why not do fencing and you have to wear a helmet? >> i guess her body type was more akin to judo. >> heavyweight. that's just the competition. >> i get to wear metal claws where i go. >> it is good when you wrestle. >> according to my religion, i immediately get the gold. >> you made a video about how i get the gold. it had nothing to do with getting the medal. >> from wearing a scarf to swimming until you barf, did she win her heat by being a cheat? will the olympic organizers in swimming's governing body are defending china's gold medal winning sensation says there are suspicions that she was

doped by jealousy. she smashed the world's record in the 400 meter immediately knocking five full seconds off her previous performance. her time in the last lap is ryan lochte posted in the last race. i don't know who these people r. they were among those raising red flags saying the last 100 of her race, quote, was reminiscent of some old east german swimmer, be specific. history in our sport will tell you every time we see something, and i put question marks around this, unbelievable, history shows us it turns out later on that there was doping involved. meanwhile, let's look at "red eye"'s highlights of the past week.

>> you know, bill and i spent hours, hours last night working on this. >> last night, this morning. i started working on it before i knew we were supposed to do it. >> exactly. you know what is funny, you already had the pictures of these guys even before the olympics. >> that was the 1984 olympics. >> i have no idea at all. >> are the reactions a little bigotry, sexism or both or bexism if you will. >> it is hard to say. they are coming out against the americans saying the americans are just jealous because they didn't win. did she dope? well there is evidence she didn't because she was drug tested. what do we want to do? claim every athlete who is good at their sport is on dope? i don't know.

if you don't test positive, you can't really say it is called defamation. >> let me go to you. do these communists have any right to be as annoyed as they are by our suspicions? they are communists. >> and they are also incredible capitalists. they are better capitalists than the u.s. >> that's true. they are comme capitalists. >> a business guy in shanghai said five years ago when our government knocked on the door to tell them what they are doing wrong and today they say how can we help you. in the u.s. when the obama team knock on the door they are there to tell what you they are doing wrong. obama's government is much more chinese than the chinese government. >> can i make a point? he quoted an asian friend of his without using the asian accent. you can learn from that. >> this is not racist. it is not sexist. what this is a sign of is every time we see excellence anywhere it is su llied late that's right guy was juicing and using pearl form mans enhancements -- performance

enhancements, so we think when a 16-year-old girl swims a faster lap than ryan locthe they think there are drugs involved. they say we test 30 swimmers three times every year. we spend a million dollars per year. that's $11,000 per drug test for something you can buy in a pharmacy for $10. they are lying. they made up the figure. >> they must be. paul, let's face it, if you could take a pill that would make you funny you would take it. >> i would. if you could take a pill that would allow you to write, you would take it. i agree. i think most likely -- they say she has the right body type to do the kind of event -- >> please don't make any jokes i have to edit out. >> just stop and let me finish. >> don't say like when she swims later she will want to swim. i am trying to read your mind. >> no! >> all i did was go like that and breathe. i can do that. what i want to say is -- god this is exhausting.

the fact of the matter is, look, the chinese -- the tests are very sophisticated and stringent. the chinese have not been able to figure out how to make lead paint-free toys that don't cause kidney disease. i don't think they figured out how to come up with masking agents that don't immediately kill you. she is good at what she does. you have to leave it at that. it feels like sour grapes. i was a swimmer and i used to swim naked. i know what it is like to swim jiecht you were in the boys club. that's why you had the life preserver as your lifts. >> i can see the wheels turning and then they froze right up. grued for you -- good for you. >> bill, you took drugs and swim and no one cares about that. >> i take drugs, i swim, i love this woman. let's just focus on the magesty. she is 5 foot 7 and roughly nders a 140 pounds -- and roughly around 140 pounds. these are exactly my

dimensions. the fact of the matter is they said she is so good because she has abnormally large feet and hands. look at the catcher's mitt and clown shoes on me. i should have been a swimmer. if anything this girl now makes me sad because i missed my potential. especially when i was still a girl. >> did you just threaten to kill her? >> i said i could have killed her in the sport of olympics. as you know the beauty of the olympics is everybody tries to kill each other in competition. it is the olympic way. >> i think the bigger point here is that everyone cheats, just about everyone. just let the drugs be legal. then the olympics becomes something better. it becomes like a wharf franken stein -- a war of pranken stein monsters. right now we are seeing attractive people do stuff. it is neat to see them in their underwear and it is fun and they are adorable. what if they were money -- monstrous. >> that is too farfetched. the national hockey league

used to allow widespread steroid use and did not care. each team had an enforcer, a stair -- a steroided guy. >> then it becomes the quality of the drugs and the scientists are the people who are competing. why even bring those people out. it would be like ian shepherd doping. >> it is like robot wars. why not celebrate the intelligence of the people creating the drugs and not the athletes. the athletes are the conduit. they are the sir ring. syringe. >> the premise is faulty. if you are saying if we allow everyone to do drugs it will make the olympics better. they are still not going to be good. i am not watching the olympics. we just filled a whole a block. >> the olympic ceremony would be better if everybody was on drugs. >> england they were all on drugs. >> with regard to the chinese, we care about them breaking these rules when they break a ton of other rules in human rights and everything else. the reason people who work at

the ipad factories don't drowned themselves because it is easier to jump off the roof. that's why. >> way to bring this down. you are right, bill. we just did a whole segment on the olympics. >> we don't have to talk about politicss until the b block. >> coming up -- >> you should swim so you would drowned. >> what a nice thing to say you sad, tragic man. what do cats look like in a refrigerator? it is not a story. it is a question i was asked this morning. weird dude. do pick up lines still work? i don't know, but i bet we can kill some time yakking about it.

he has a pole for a pal. mitt romney nabbed a nod from

the former polish president during a stopover in poland. the legendary leader slash mustache may vin suggested the u.s. needs romney to restore our standing in the world. that was almost as noteworthy as comments romney's traveling secretary made to reporters in warsaw. romney had just laid a wreath at the tomb of the unknown soldier, and then this happened. >> governor romney, are you concerned about some of the mishaps on your trip? >> governor romney, just a few questions, sir. you haven't taken but three questions on this trip from the press. >> some reports have said that he said "kiss my ass" to a reporter. they have been following a different story.

>> the sad thing is he is chasing a dog assassin. a very poor aim, i would say. romney's aid may have said "kiss my ass" but were the reporters too aggressive or doing their jobs. >> i usually want to side with reporters, but when you are at an event like that and yell -- do you really as a reporter expect to get any serious answer at all? no. you are just hoping to shake something loose. you are hoping to bring a little attention to yourself. the thing about journalists, and i am one, we are all nare saw cystic as hell. we want the story to be about us .

we spend all of our time doing stories about other people, when we wish the stories would be about ourselves. >> that's a very honest thing to say, i might add. i admire what he just said. very rare that happens at this table. the romney aid called the reporter to apologize. should he have? >> using the terminology as that, it doesn't reflect well on romney's campaign. so, sure, they were at a holy site. did the reporters do the right thing? probably not. but don't respond back. don't do apples with apples. >> i think a problem with the romney campaign, you know, when news week came up with the whip thing when they were desperate for attention because they are about to go out of business, the romney campaign is looking better because he is finally hitting back a little bit. >> not there. not at a holy site. >> i am uncomfortable with the ideas of robots fighting back. once there is a predetermined notion of that, we are doomed

as a people. >> this is a presidential campaign at a holy site. there needs to be decorum. you are not a tmz reporter yelling at kanye at l.a.x. he said kt qis my ass. this is a holy site." have they locked up the voters in warsaw? >> i'm sure he has for this ex-president too. you look at the photo and he is 25 years old. not a healthy era. i like this idea. why doesn't tmz follow around politicians? it would be so much better if they were yelling out error pattin -- out rob pattinson and kristen stewart-type questions. >> you saw the press follow this whole "kiss my ass" thing and you have her endorsing romney and hugo chavez endorsing obama. it is like getting endorsed by superman while your opponent is endorsed by lex luther.

it is the best thing ever. we have to take a break. do you have a comment on the show? red eye at fox news.com. 212-462-5050 to leave a message. still to come, our report from andy levy. >> tonight's half time report is sponsored by acrobat. the pearl formers of gymnastics. thanks, acrobats. guests on "red eye" will receive a complementary hub cap and other prizes. note, other prizes prizes are also hub the caps. guests in "red eye" stay in the woods with complementary sleeping bags and bug repellent. tell your friends about the woods.

welcome back. let's find out if we got anything wrong so far. hi, andy. >> there i am. >> were you worried for a minute? >> i was worried i wouldn't get face time. that's what the job is about. i went over the weekend to my great uncle's 90th birthday party. he was just given the french legion of honor which is france's highest award for the world war ii service. this is what he did: goldberg was still in high school when the united states entered world war ii, but determined to join the fight he dropped

out his senior year and landed on the beach of normandy on d-day. he was engaged throughout the theater of operations and participating in the arden, central europe before returning home to brooklyn on christmas deneene 45. we make snarky jokes and show cat videos, so that is about even. >> it is about even. >> who is he? who is he? it is ridiculous. where is my legion of honor? >> was that not rhetorical? >> apparently it was. it was accidentally raw for rail. rhetorical. saudi judo athletes will wear a head scarf. they don't call it judo, they call it xinusp gi da. paul, did you come here from a brawny paper towel commercial? >> really? that's where you are going

with? >> i understand it would have taken you half an hour to craft that, but it took me three seconds. as fast as i could type it it was down. >> this is men's flannel and that is wal-mart. >> that was awful. you said as long as it doesn't put her opponents at a disadvantage you are fine with it. here is my concern, what if an opponent rips off her headscarf. you were concerned the saudi woman would be killed. >> that's a good point. it could happen. >> are they allowed to tbrab for that -- can they grab that garment at that point? maybe that's part of the rules. i don't know if they can or can't. >> in judo can't you grab -- >> you are always grabbing the back of the head. maybe that is just the movies i watch. >> somebody will go like this and she will go ah and fall

down and give up. >> why because she is a woman? >> because she is completely ill-equiped to fight against these people at this level because i did my research on the story. >> these people? these people? >> really? you are really reaching for everything that you could possibly get tonight. >> you are just making a fool of yourself. >> dennis, you brought up the fact that saudi arabia wouldn't bow to their wishes if she didn't want to wear a head scarf. it would be one thing if she was in a free society, but she is living in a country where she doesn't have a choice. is that the olympic spirit? >> that's why i brought it up. >> that's why i seconded it. rebecca, you said it was religious and not political. they have religious police as part of the government. >> it is in saudi arabia, but the olympics are trying to separate the two out and let every country. they are lovely. >> but by doing that, don't

you legit myself governments maybe you shouldn't be law scwit myselfing? >> they are saying we are not getting involved in politics. >> i went like this when i said that so it means it was a good point. >> progress is very slow. >> can we please, please ease up on saudi arabia, you guys? i for one happen to like their oil. and i believe that sentiment makes me an equal with your world war ii vet uncle. >> you are probably right. i don't understand how last week this was a dangerous situation for her to wear, and this week, oh, it is fine. how does that work? >> i don't know. >> another rhetorical question. >> it is more of a skull cap rather than a scarf. >> she should wear gang colors at least. how about a gang ban dan ma or

something like that? >> a doo rag. >> i hate you so much. >> swimmer tests negative for drugs. greg, it is funny you purposely miss name ryan lochte's name. >> if his family found out i was sending the letters written in my own blood things would get weird. >> i lost track. how many twitter accounts have you opened so you can tweet him various things? >> 647. is that obsessive or weird? >> anything under 6:50 you are fine. >> i hope he loves the portrait i made out of my discarded toe nails. >> it took me four months. >> rebecca, you said if you don't test positive, you can't really call it defamation. >> did i say that? why is the american coach coming out and saying anything like this? why don't we have just nice little olympic area, initial little -- when you cart saying things like that, then people come back and are athletes.

it doesn't seem sportsman like. >> unless she is cheating. >> it appears she is not jie. what will we do here some will we keep saying these things? if she has no positive drug testing, she didn't cheat. that's all we can do. >> don't you think china has become like our new russia in terms of they are doing really well in all of the sports, and now we start sort of implying that there is drug use. and we can't afford them too much because we owe them a lot of money. >> i don't think that is entirely fair. this is a unique situation by how much she shattered world record lie so much it raised a lot of eyebrows. >> faster than ryan lochte. faster than a male swimmer. >> she has been swimming for 10 years, and she has a body type that allows that to happen. >> wait, andy, she did beat ryan, didn't she? >> not overall, just in the last leg. her last leg time or whatever they call it lap or whatever segment.

>> her last 50 was faster. >> her last 50 was faster than his last 50. but i don't think the overall time. >> the last 50 -- when you are the most tired is when she poured it on and she swam faster than him. you know what, if they haven't found drugs, the big story is they have an undefinable drug. >> genetics. >> they don't give anybody an advantage. doping is like duck sauce, you can ask for it, but you won't get it. >> i don't know what that means. >> it means nothing. >> it means a lot. it is insightful and funny. >> by the way, paul tested negative with our audience. >> that was good, you hack. >> bill you said, quote, i could have killed her in the sport of olympics. what are the rules for that sport, bill? >> i will tell you, i think that is reason number 502. should do you become a commentator? >> you could have done worse than that.

>> here is how you make the olympics better, compete against the dudes. guess what, i am not watching tonight, but i might watch that. >> greg, you seem to endorse all of the athletes taking performance enhancing drugs because you said it would make the competition better. i miss the days when the athletes looked and acted like babe ruth. >> yes. >> eat hot dogs and drink a beer before you go and swim. >> but you could have both. if you have ever seen a guy who does a lot of steroids he is eating stuff and acting stupid. big over sized arms bumping into things. these could be our next -- what did you say, fantastic four? >> that's what i thought. >> that movie was terrible. >> the point is, if everybody is hyped up, everybody will be super hero strength. >> i was a swimmer and i have a swimmer's body. >> i think you shouldn't be allowed -- i think you should not be allowed to train for the olympics. >> that's a good point. >> you show up, and you do your best, and if you win win, but you haven't -- you

don't spend your whole life learning how to jump three times in a row or swim 50 meters. you save a lot of money and you go out and have a good time, but you still show up and compete and everybody does that, and it is just fun because then we all feel like it could be us. >> you are out of your mind. you would frustrate people. people at home would say, i can do that, i can do that. >> that's right. it is inspirational. >> well done. it is like people at home saying 3:00 in the morning? this guy has a show? why not me? >> the show you plead every morning to be on. >> no, no. >> andy, how many e-mails did you get from paul this morning? >> just one text. >> you both suck. >> which i did not respond to. >> you are socially retarded. >> i put them in a separate file of things i will never open. >> is it because i am socially retarded. >> or handicapped. >> you must think everyone you text is that way. >> i sent you a perfectly nice

text with a picture of ryan lochte with his face over his netter region. >> on -- i am with you. when reporters shout at a candidate walking away, they know they will not get an answer. >> do they shout as near as much to president obama even when he was running for office sph -- office? i know there is one incident, but other than that, so unusual. when he was elected they said, tell us the most wonderful thing about being a president and the most amazing thing about being a president? >> they were beating up on bill clinton. >> dennis, i do think -- the reporters do this whether it is presidents or athletes or whatever. no one ever stops, except in movies, no one stops to answer that. when they say thank you and start walking off, everyone is shouting more questions. >> the good thing is my boss has heard me say, mr. president -- now have i it

when i go back to the office. >> as a press secretary you can't react that way. you say, shut up, fatty, you are not getting a happy meal. you have a time and a place to respond to that. >> you are lowering yourself to that guy's level. >> when people are talking it doesn't work. >> i think he did have to apologize because he is the traveling press secretary and he has to maintain relationships with these guys. >> how do you think you make a marriage work? just because you apologize doesn't mean you have to believe it. come on. sorry, honey. >> lastly, you said this square is a holy place. his a historic place, but not a holy place. >> it is the tomb of the unknown soldier. he said it is a holy site. he said "kiss my ass, this is a holy site." he said that and i am making a good p oi nt by doing this with the paper. >> no you are not.

you are not. you are just not. >> that was his quote. >> are you done? are you done? >> i think we are done. we riel see you later. coming up, president clinton is given head -- lining duties at the convention. will it help? we won't discuss. and is the career of fred dead? thanks to what he didn't do in bed. we report. you get fed.

you .

well, he is off the tube for being lewd allegedly. abc, the tv network, not the first three letters of the alpha pet has pulled fred willard's improve from the air. two weeks after he was busted for a lewd conduct at a porno theater. the 72-year-old actor really needs a hobby. he already lost his job at

narrator of the pbs series "the market warriors" and now the last two episodes of his show" trust us with your life" will be pulled. bad pun. and it will be replaced by a live puppy cam. beats a dead one i suppose. let's discuss this in the -- >> lightning rooooouuuuuunnnnddd did of the lightning round. >> rebecca, if he still insists he did nothing wrong can he sue abc and pbs if it is proven? >> i would love to see his contract. these are allegations. maybe there is something in the contract that abc has an absolute right. if there is an inappropriate conduct that is alleged, i'm assuming that. otherwise how do you just dump some guy when he hasn't been found guilty? allegations. >> it is an allegation. though it is weird, paul, when you heard about this incident did you think, therefore the grace of god do i.

>> i did it last week, and i didn't get caught, thank you very much. >> look, it is not his fault. he is an improve actor and he was in the theater. someone yelled, pervert! and he hot it was a -- he thought it was a job offer and he went with it. >> that was a funny joke. >> such a tiny man and the glass half empty. >> i don't know what you said. do you feel bad for him in a way? he could have done this at home with the internet. so it is his own fault. >> a couple things come out of this. the guy is 72 years old, and i think attention must be paid that he has the energy to even bother doing that when he is 72. i hope i am there when i am 72. second, there is no truth to the rumor he will go into business with paul ruebens? pee wee? and third i think if the facts don't apply here, i am a journalist, why let that get in the way, this shows what can happen when wives do not let their husbands watch internet porn, laptop porn at

home. >> yes, you women! >> they go to a public place. >> don't come down on me for this. he is not my husband. he wouldn't be at a theater. >> let's talk about -- i don't know what you are talking about, young lady. and i'm offended. let's talk about what happens next. let's just embrace this incident so people can laugh with him about it? >> i think there needs to be more of that. this whole thing makes me angry. it is free publicity from both of those crappy shows. them ditching him is idiotic. and i agree with every single thing you said except for the part where are you 72 you want to be in that movie theater in west hollywood. >> abc had no choice. abc was owned by disney. >> maybe they did. what they are telling me is i can't watch a show with fred willard in it because he did this thing i never saw.

yet i have to watch snooki on a grainy shot drunk have that little orca having sex in bed with some [bleep] virtually naked, and that is okay? and willard keeps going, i just want to explain it. no, you don't want that explained. what is the explanation? it was one thing to say i was pleasuring myself to porn. the other was to say i was there for the artistic value. that's disturbing. >> have i to take a break -- i have to take a break, and there is one side nobody talks about, this is an unusual neighborhood. the neighborhood where the theater is is residential. i don't think there is any businesses around this theater. that's why they put the cops. the cops go in there because the neighbors complain that there is stuff going on in there, and they want to get rid of the theater from the area. that's why they sent the cops in there. that's why that happened. >> you will not get rid of a theater by kicking out an old man. >> people won't go there anymore. why do i know this stuff?

don't ask. >> don't think of leaving, we have so much pour. so much more. not really. maybe a little bit.

a new survey finds that

44% of women actually like pick up lines. my go to line is, hi, i am brett beir. and the survey found three-quarters of women -- that's disgusting, 75% of a woman? seems that waiting three days to contact someone is ridiculous. half of both sexes admitted to checking out the opposite sex on the -- on-line. which pick up lines work the best? >> i don't know which work the best. i can't imagine men have these plans in place before they go out. i am going to say this. oh look at that one. >> what does your husband say? >> i don't remember. >> you don't remember some. >> he got you drunk. >> no. >> and then you woke up and said i have to get married. >> that's disgusting to me. paul, i can only imagine the awful things you tried. did they ever work. >> here is one you used on people. do you have a little hunchback in you? no. would you like to?

come on man. you are not going to get fired, laugh. >> that was great. >>ly is -- he is the one that uses it. they polled people on e harmony. those people don't tell the truth. they want a committed relationship with somebody who is deep inside. >> i don't think we call fight this as a scientific study, paul. >> they r. -- they are. >> good answer. >> i was distracted by your hunch. >> you can keep talking all you want. i a have -- i have to ask a question. do women like men who approach them? >> this might be a sign that these days women appreciate that at least the guy is trying to come up with something when he makes a joke like that. instead of the monosyllabic language, wasup.

at least when you used to smoke in bars you used to say, you got a match? how about you and me? >> bill, have i to go to you, quickly. you try pick outlines on yourself. they always, always never work. and pick up lines, dating blech. i went on e harmony and i thought i would find pure extau tee tablets and it is all dating stuff. >> the best thing you do is ask a question while seeming disinterested. like can you help me carry my old chest out to my van? we will close things out. to see recent clips of shows go to fox news.com/red eye.

see you back here for "the five." we have rick leventhal and

recommend knee spencer and tom shalou. love him. back to andy levy for the post game wrap up. >> it would be nice to have a comedian on tomorrow. where can our viewers catch you next? >> i will be on the show tomorrow at 4:00 p.m. >> you mean later today? >> later today, sorry. >> just checking. >> what do you make of twitter banning and then unbanning? >> now they are really, really sorry because they realize many of the fans are ticked. this will continue these fights. >> paul, you got any open mic nights coming up? >> yes, i am at the chuckle hut in east brunswick. no, the comedy celler in new york, and then i will be duct taping a woman and giving her pick up lines. >> neither one of those will be funny. back to you, greg. >> how much time descroi? >> i don't know. are you asking me or the people in your head. >> i can't hear you.