>> greg: so much other things to do with your time. >> kimberly: have a happy thanksgiving. happy travels. welcome to "red eye." i am andy levy filling in for greg gutfeld who doesn't love you anymore, and probably never did. tom, what is coming up on tonight's show? >> thanks, andy. thanksgiving is here, so we at "red eye" can give special thanks to peta for continuing to supply us with endless topics we can discuss with our special brand of rye humor. gobble, gobble, guys. isn't it nice where facebook is so private and you can share photos and comments without consequences ? it is not? we will discuss. and finally, being fat can protect you from depression? well, what is protecting me? my ace in the hole, denial 1k3* repression. -- denial and

repression. >> gobble, gobble indeedment i am here with fox business network liz mcdonald. author and screenwriter whose latest book came out earlier this month called "if we survive." bill schulz, he can't stop laughing right now and he thinks all taylor swift songs are about him. and next to me is jim norton. his special "please be offended" is now available on netflix. is he making light of their plight? well, peta sent a let torte white house asking our newly elected president end the practice of pardoning a turkey. they prefer he killed them. actually they say it makes light of the mass slaughter of some 46 million gentle inteligent birds. the letter continues, you understand so well that african-american, women, members of the lgbt community have been poorly served throughout history, and now i ask you to consider other

living beings who are ridiculed and belittled as if their nature counts for nothing. but obama didn't heed their screed and the white house encouraged people to go to their facebook page and vote for their faff -- favorite fowl. let's go to robert miller at the white house. robert? >> not sure why the president never calls on him. he is clearly a democrat. jim, he about that peta? >> if obama wanted to get rid of the turkey he would get a job at msnbc. >> oh no. >> and i disagree with peta. i like turkey as much as the next person. but i don't think they are gentle birds. have you ever broken into a

house where they had a pet turkey? you go for the silverware. >> and then you stood all over my question. >> i hate the e on the end of any word. one-man campaign against it. >> let me know how it goes. andrew you said in the green room obama shouldn't just pardon two turkeys, but every turkey in america, and then i thought this was weird. you added that thanksgiving and christmas should be canceled. >> absolutely. you know, i feel peta is intolerant. if you have a tradition in your family that you roast your birds alive and then kill them afterwards, that's different cultures. i actually sympathize with peta on this. if obama fails to pardon these turkeys, it is more meat for the rest of us. >> that's a good point. >> do you have that tradition in your family? >> is that wrong? >> i am not judging. >> it is the geek pro decision.

we bite -- it is the geek tradition. we bite their heads off and then they die and we say thanks. is this a problem? >> no. >> i was just going say maybe i am wrong, but a lot of times i like to pick up a frozen turkey and scream at it and b re ate it . >> they actually like that. >> liz, peta compared the rights of birds with the rights of oppressed is that argument dumb or really dumb? >> probably really dumb. listen, i do agree with peta. by the way, what is this presidential ceremony about pardoning the turkey? i agree with what they say about that. the turkey didn't do anything wrong to begin with. listen and are you right. turkeys are not gentle animals. i don't know why peta said that. they have it wrong. are you talking to somebody who doesn't like to eat meet. i am the wrong person to talk to. i don't like the eating of animals. >> really? >> how do you know if didn't do anything wrong? >> are you right.

but every turkey every year getting pardoned by the president? why do it? who watches it? >> there is a one-eyed purr key. turkey. >> what about i am injured for life? >> he stole my red neck coloring. keep that in a jar. >> unlike turkeys, there is very little meat on you to eat. >> that was neither a question and i'm sure it was sexual harassment. >> glad hr is watching. normally i would think turkeys would probably be pretty aggressive. you know what happens after they pardon them? in two months they die anyway. th is an actual fact. they are bread to be eat. they are not sturdy wild turkeys. they are bloated, fat, full of chemicals and ready to be consumed. essentially by not killing them, you are leaving them to lie in whatever pen they are to die in agony.

>> so you are for turkey euthanasia? >> yes. they are bread to be eaten. >> i will also say that peta didn't just compare the plight of turkeys to minorities. they specifically mentioned african-americans. if there is one good way to get a black president is to listen is to compare slavery. >> well, they did call seaworld dolphins slavery, right? >> dolphins i will give a little more of a pass to, but these turkeys are not things. they are moving and gyrating things of meat. they are not actual beings. they are going to die in two months. >> somebody wrote, peta stands for people eating tasty animals. i thought that was rude. >> you mean it doesn't it? >> i want to talk about this idea of having a facebook vote to see which one gets pardoned. first of all, it is a fraud. both turkeys get pardoned. shouldn't the loser get killed and eaten? why waste your time doing it?

>> i president couldn't agree more. >> they are the worst. they don't even have spell check on. >> clumsy turkey. >> andrew, so what happens with this facebook thing, the popular bird, the one who gets the more votes gets more votes first and the less popular or the nerd bird as i like to call it gets pardoned second. it seems to me the obama administration is encouraging bullying. >> absolutely. this is part of our obsession with celebrity. just because he is popular he gets to live a little longer. actually we should do that with people. it is like high school. >> it is like "the voice." it is like a turkey beauty pageant. >> i wonder if they can sing. >> according to the white house blog, each of the two birds had the distinct personality -- i will read what they say.

he is mown for the musical stylings of carly simon. he loves to anybody bell on corn and enjoys any music with a fiddle. which one of these two should die? probably the carly simon. >> i think the first is a description of vice president biden. i am not sure. i don't think either should die. again i am for animal rights. >> if these noise book updates were real, here is what both would say. please for the love of god kill me. i cannot emphasize this enough. either bioengineered for us to consume and they are in agony right now. >> and at the end it would say going -- it would say gobble, bob gel. >> the problem is their names are delicious. >> you don't want to kill them call them ear wax and vomit. >> and don't give them two names so similar. ease specialt -- especially people in florida are voting for the wrong turkey. >> you have to show id. >> maybe their names should be i am a genetically engineered

monster. you are not getting what i am putting down here. these are not things. >> before we leave this topic, is there anything more annoying listening people to talk about what they are thankful for? >> i like to encourage those discussions. i think we rush and we rush and we forget to smell the roses. >> what are you thankful for this year? >> you and this panel of people that i can come and spread a little mirth. i hate hearing -- when it is a woman mumbling how thankful she is that i can't achieve an erection it hurts. >> and you are not coming to me after that one. >> i think i will just move right along. >> it is your fault for asking. >> it absolutely is. never ask a question when you don't know the answer. >> from pardoning a bird to giving it. two women have been placed on unpaid leave after a photo they took at arlington

national cemetery provoked outrage on facebook. lyndsay stone thought it would be funny pretending to yell wifing giving the finger next to a sign that said silence and respect. veterans condemned the prank leading to the ladies being suspended. the company living independently forever helping adults from disabilities further condemned the one-finger salute. but lyndsay's dad downplayed the situation saying, quote, it was poor judgment and she regrets it. she was goofing around and it was taken off the page. i don't think she was react together site, arlington cemetery. she was reacting to the sign. i am appalled myself. speaking of appalling.

we cut it off when it got to the appalling part. >> how outraged are you by this? >> as outraged as possible. all peach who made obscene and and -- all people who made obscene jokes it would be glasses of water. what is more boring than outrage? are we tired of this? nobody has a sense of humor. it was a stupid joke. let it go. >> i agree. my first reaction was what the dad said. probably she thought it was funny because of the sign. >> it is the opposite. she wasn't trying to be disrespectful to the war dead. >> i am no position to condemn. if the sign says stop i go, go, go.

>> now i am a little ashamed. >> groveling apologies, we don't need them. i was just trying to do the opposite. sorry about that. that's the end. people like to be outraged. >> i totally agree. it was a dumb joke. these women work with disabled people. maybe we should cut them some slack. and i read the apology. it was as long as the wall. they didn't mean to be disrespectful and they were ignorant and it was distasteful. they were repeating those words on and on through the apology. enough is enough. >> bill, do we need our pound of flesh? must she pay to satisfy our outrage? >> there is a big meat theme. i like it. >> i feel bad for these girls, but they are doomed. they are going to get fired.

who will they piss off the most? they are our greatest generation. but god luck trying to explain facebook to them much less the idea of humor. these guys are used to nacogdoches jokes with sound affects on the radio. it will show a lady and they will be okay with any of that? i think they are doomed. >> the company says they are conducting an internal investigation. >> that is just what we needed. >> we should have hearings. except with benghazi we don't know anything about it. we are getting everything. >> maybe stop going on people's facebook pages and then being outraged. >> if i twitter something and then they follow me i say i was president talking to you.

be angry at the person who sent the photo. >> i like to curse them out. >> the same people who are mad about this are the same people who are angry if you take down a nativity. everybody thinks they are for free speech. back after this. >> he is really good. >> oh, we are doing another story. you said back after this and i thought we were going to a break. from fingers to falices. are san francisco ans in a funk because they can't show their junk. the board of supervisors voted 6-5 in order of an order dense that prohibits nude de in public transportation. what is this, stalinist russia? the crusaders howled and stripped nude, of course. but the new law says are they

telling people they should be ashamed of living in the city, and is that wrong? >> they are basically telling people they should be ashamed to be naked in our city. that's totally wrong. >> they couldn't find somebody who didn't have white powder all over? >> speaking of being agitated -- >> very nice. >> wedding rings have a similar affect. >> has the dream come to a tragic end? >> i think so. although i am for the band.

if it is legal what is the fun in taking it out on the train? >> you don't mean getting angry. >> i mean throwing my arms up and going huh? >> and then hearing the laughter and sobbing? >> i keep my arms like that until everybody leaves. >> andrew, the new law has exemptions for people at fairs, parades and the beta breakers street run. so they are going to have their fair share of nudity. >> this is part of a vast left wing conspiracy. first we have feminists talking about vaginas. remember when gays were wicked and sort of -- it was a little forbidden and they are funny. now it is like, who cares? the only thing that will be interesting is like iphones,

especially if they have vaginas. >> they do. 24r* is an app for that. there is an app for that. >> as weird as these super weird owes are, san francisco is supposed to be about personal freedom. shouldn't they be putting their nude money where their nude mouth is? >> yes, tax them. i don't think they would be before the fetish parade. i find that whole crowd completely appalling. >> let me just show you this idiotic mentality of the people in san francisco. that band does not apply to five-year-olds. they have to remember to include include -- i mean, come on. i'm sorry. this story when i just saw that gentleman on the air with whatever the pool cue chalk whatever it was, it was

entertaining. it wasn't straight couples and businesses opposed to this. they did not want the public nudity. it was gay men. gay men themselves were sick of it. it will hurt the tourism. >> last word to you. a federal lawsuit gaming -- claiming it would violate free speech laws. what made you do this? >> i thought ahead. instead of asking me questions you should be congratulate me for how this would turn. i don't get how the standing around and hanging out naked has been banned, but they are allowing the fun run? i would rather see general -- genitals at rest. at least you are in one area. the fun run goes past playgrounds.

>> it is like nude christmas. >> exactly. coming up, i want my funk uncut. that's something bill o'reilly face messaged me. what does the u.n say about our manning marg laws? i hear they are dubious.

it turns out the u.n is not as chill as i thought. they are challenging the ballot initiatives in colorado and washington. he says approving the de criminalization of the small amounts of pot sends, quote, a small amount to the rest of the nation and a wrong message abroad. and he hopes eric holder will do all he can to ensure weed

remains illegal in america. meanwhile, these guys are into a different drug. it is like your saturday nights. hamsters and trans music. you said earlier this is a wake up call for the u.n and it is time we listen. >> i don't think that is exactly what i said jie. did i get it wrong? >> i said who ask the u.n their opinion about anything? i mean shut up. >> that's basically what i said. >> kind of the same. i thought that's what u.n stood for. i thought it stood for shut up. the only thing that bothers me is that eric holder might listen to them. if they legalize drugs there will be no drug dealers and who will he sell drugs to? >> good point. liz, it is bad enough the world is filled with thieving dictators and now they want to take away our weed?

come on. >> the other thing is you legalize weed, but who will process the payments because the banking industry cannot. it is still a federal crime. that means paypal will go off gang buster. >> big coin. >> big coin for paypal. >> jim, should we be listen together ub -- be listening to the u.n? >> there is nothing happening in gaza or syria. >> i don't even do drugs. i think they should legalize them. >> what are you doing? >> are you having fun? stop having fun. that was mike blokeburg's soul. -- mike bloomburg's soul.

>> don't you love that he is focused on outlawing big guzzler sodas. sandy comes whipping in and puts people out of their homes. >> he wanted to runt marathon because he said it would give new yorkers hope. that's what you want is in shape people running by. >> the first they came for the ganja, right? >> i have nothing to say. this is for anyone who is a naysayer. it is a message to the rest of the nation. specifically they never could get past that part. if you ask any of them, why should we keep marijuana legal 1234* they are like, -- because we should. there is nothing to back it up. there is no facts. anything you can say about alcohol across the board it is worse for you than man rnlg

ma. they know that. status quo they want to keep it and it makes me sick to my stomach. >> do you have a comment on the show? e-mail fox news.com. and do you have video of your animal doing something, anything, go to fox -- fox news.com and click on submit a video. still to come, the half time report. >> tonight's half time report is brought to you by balloons, the bags filled with air and creeled at the neck. thanks, balloon.

let's find out if we have gotten anything wrong. for that we go to tom shlou. >> maybe it is a matter of perspective. >> i think we were right. >> well let's start here. we have lots of good stories of the story one, the peta story, let's go to liz. liz, you asked why we have to pardon turkeys. i ask the question myself. you said you thought george bush was the first person to pardon a turkey. >> george hw. >> you are right. i assumed this turkey pardoning tradition went back -- >> to like lincoln. >> yes, but it did not. a lot of people credit truman for starting this tradition, but it is called the national thanksgiving turkey

presentation. truman did not parton a -- pardon a turkey. he ate the turkey. it looks like eisenhower ate both. >> lbj. lbjate his turkey. >> they thought that's what you are supposed to do. originally and i think still they involve the towel tree and egg board. it is all a promotion for enjoying thanksgiving. >> the question is what do you think sarah palin would have done with that turkey. >> she would have mailed it airily. >> mailing the air -- the areola? >> when we talk about gun culture people and nailing things -- she shot things from the air. >> i think she would have lost the debate to us.

>> jim -- but tom you are right. >> i would have thought that this was something stupid like the electoral college set up two years ago. >> just in the research i have done here. it looks like it happened by accident. the first reference to pardoning a turkey comes from a gong by ronald reagan. this were asking if he would pardon oliver north. he said i think i pardoned a turkey. then george hw bush made it a part st ceremony. to your question, why do we pardon turkeys 1234* probably when george hw bush it was a more entertaining time. and thought it was a joke. but people take it seriously. ji yes, it is a serious event.

>> and i'm sure you tuned into president obama pardoning the turkey. >> no, but i know what happened. >> according to oliver stone's new book truman knew the turkey was going to surrender. truman was the guy who thought he was on tv all the time. >> he tried to sail his bowl into the wall. >> that was a frightful one. facebook. what happened here? jim it is interesting when people post on your wall, if they are not friend you say i was president talking to you. that is it. from now on people will say, i wasn't talking to you. >> i do that on twitter. i don't do a lot of facebook page. facebook page. it is like having a public discussion. it is like a forum is what we

hear. unfollow me. i hate when they say unfollowed. like i am going to go, come on, why? >> i actually do that. it hurts when they unfollow me. sky i cooperate be happy -- >> i couldn't be happier. >> this is the formula. you remember when kramer -- michael richards? >> well he said i'm polite things in the comedy club and he got in trouble for. it he is forced to apologize to these people. his answer should not from been to the people. he uh owes apologies to the people in the room. katie couric puts it on the evening news. if the words -- if racial sensitivity is saw offensive on its face shouldn't the people who put this on the evening news be apologizing.

>> tom, as somebody who works at a news station that should not be the case at all. >> so this facebook story had to do with these gallons who were as a war memorial. andy, i don't know if you quoted the company. these girls worked to -- i keep calling them girls. >> you will be on indicate fee couric. >> the correct term is dames. >> they were living at independently independent forever. they have all of the pc credited. this is a company that helps people living with disabilities. it is interesting that these women are in trouble because they are essentially -- i am just assuming that they work for this organization. they live a very politically correct life. they are in trouble with the

military for being insensitive. how do you think if the roles were reversed if these people, perhaps if they worked for the military and caught doing something unpc they probably would have brought the hammer down. don't you think? >> i don't know. you sound like an inning ma. >> let's go to bill. bill said he thinks these two gals are going to get fired. it looks like they are not. the organization seems to be standing by them. they claim they will have an internal investigation. they are not going fire the women for this. >> internal investigation is going to wait and see if everybody settles down. >> we have talked about something else. if something happens with hostess and we talk about that instead of this they will keep their jobs.

>> i think they are fine. they work with people with disabilities. >> i would like to hear that whole theory again. this next story was fun. am i right 1234* story three was the nudity, right? i quickly printed out as much information about indecent exposure. >> those were pictures. >> it is like pete townsend. i was investigating. >> they are all from your facebook wall. i have all of the statues here. the laws on nudity go by state by state. it looks to me like california has the laws in place that make this illegal. i don't know why the city had to come down. they had to make their own law. exposing the private parts and any public space where there are others present who could be offended and annoyed.

>> i love in california and this is the first time i have worn clothes in six months. >> if you look down the statute outs, most states unlike california and new york they are conditional. for instance, connecticut, lewd exposure with attempt to arouse the sexual desire of the person there sin at the present time there. let's look at new york's law. newnew york's law has said appearance in a private or public place closed. >> it doesn't matter what you are doing with lewd intent. it is illegal to be nude where the laws are much more lack in other state. >> why would showing your genitals cause alarm. when would that be a

frightening thing for people? >> how about you are wishing a happy song while you do it? or scream don't be alarmed. >> what if there are children present? >> also, jim, most americans don't hang out in comedy clubs. >> that's true. i have gone to certain places where it is accepted. >> story four. this is the last one. i wasn't really listening to this story, but you really came down on bloomburg. liz, you said out lying big gull bees is a distraction. do you think passing the laws distracts him from the other duties of his office. he spends hours and hours and outlawing things. use baby formula.

all of the time spent he could have prevented new york city and the area. and looking like ven nuss. >> he could have stopped the floodwaters from coming in. >> he could have protected the terminals where gasoline is delivered or gotten the private companies to do a better job. long island power authority. come on. >> you convinced me. >> there is a flip side to that coin. >> what better way to beautify the streets of new york. lots of public breastfeeding. >> wound -- under withful. back to you. i am done. >> thanks for having us come up. just how are the eyes of the new city in the

should tourists go to hell

because they think we all smell? a recent travel and leisure magazine showed thousands of globe trotters called new york america's dirtiest city. the big apple was the loudest and rudest urban environment. naturally we sent the dirtiest and rudest correspondent to get the scoop from some tourists. >> new york has been voted the rudest, loudest and dirtiest city in america by travel and leisure magazine. do you agree with that statement? >> we have been there for two days and it is okay. it is cleaner than paris. >> you are originally from paris? >> no. talose. it is cleaner than paris and talose. >> oh, hola. >> spanish. >> exactly. >> what is something else you have seen in this otherwise dirty city some. >> subways. >> what was the bad thing on the subway? >> you have a lot of homeless

people living on the subway. >> that's where i live. >> locals or tourists, who is more messy? >> locals maybe. >> trick question, are you yourself from new york? >> originally. >> you were born here 1234 purell 1234* nice to meet you. where are you from? >> germany. >> germans are very clean, i know that. >> can you hold this for a second? >> carl cameron, fox news. >> nice to meet you. >> do you think the new yorkers litter? they will clock you with a two by 4. >> is this a joke?

>> nothing joking. thanks so much. stay clean. what do you think is the dirtiest and loudest city? topeka? >> philadelphia. >> here is the thing about new yorkers, everybody hates philly. that is universal. even people in philadelphia hate phily. new york was voted the most stylish city in america. do you hinge it is stylish? what do you think about what i am wearing right now? >> it is okay. >> how can i look better? >> casual. >> do you think my jeans aren't tight enough? >> could be a little tighter. >> you want to see what my religion is. who are you wear ?g. >> the new york rangers. >> is this a cotton poly blend? >> i don't know. it is a hockey jersey. >> looking good. and i would like to blend with you. are you single? >> no, my wife is standing right there. >> it doesn't count as cheating if it is same sex. are you aware of that?

>> they change the rules every day. >> are you orangely from new york? >> yes. mask. a. >> this is precautionary. >> mitt romney, bye-bye. >> new york was voted the loudest city in america. do you agree? >> sure. we are proud of it. >> sorry, couldn't hear ?u. >> sure, and proud of it. >> one more time? >> we are proud of it. >> still can't hear you. >> proud of the loudness ever new york. >> it is not picking up on the microphone? if we learned anything, the only dirty thing about new york are detractors. purell? good. >> now i know why you were sick. every tourist you spoke to seemed pretty nice. none seemed to have a low down feeling about new york. >> the first time i needed a tourist to play a role, they disappointed.

i just wanted them to be rude and they ruined the entire piece. >> i liked the actual new yorker who pointed out they changed the rules every day. >> it is a crazy world out there. and i want to add, go rangers. >> no, don't add that. we have this study here. do you tbre? are we dirty, loud and whatever? >> i think so. and by the way, bill, a marvelous job. it always helps to complement people. >> i think we are the loudest city and dirty. it is simply because there are so many people living here. i don't knock on new york. what do you expect? dumb bloomburg makes it san francisco. there is a lot more of us in a smaller area. >> being dirty and loud is fine with me of the.

>> time to take a break. when we come back, a musical performance from tonight's guest.

a new study finds being overweight might take you from

depression. they con -- they uncovered the gene responsible for obesity has an 8% risk in depression. meaning what makes us fat may also make us happy. you were on a diet and looking unbelievably svelt. but do you find yourself less happy now? >> no, i am more happy because of compliments like that. it shows you what you are doing is being noticed jie. you think that is important. >> i do. did i call you bill? >> yes. >> you know what is not good for your self-esteem? it is humiliating. >> pie apologizing -- my apologies all the way around. >> always accept apologies. >> and fat people were not jolly. if they were jolly they would laugh when i walked up and poked their m stomachs. >> do you do that a lot?

>> yes. >> is that because you miss the old days? >> how many moments i had nude in the mirror. i walked by so many times and went dash sh ad -- and went yuck. >> we have always been told that fat people are jolly by what jim says. is this confirming that? >> fat people hate themselves. and i think we missed something. >> either statement is not something nice to say. >> i am not a nice person. >> he is acknowledging. >> i find that honesty refreshing. >> no. >> are you buying this? does girth equal mirth? >> is it, what, 8%? it came out of canada. >> that was my favorite. canadian researchers.

>> fat caw neighed yens are -- fat canadians are bagging on everybody. >> they are the only people who appreciate the glebs i make every holiday. >> the what? >> the chocolate colored wisdom teeth. >> crunchy. >> how do you make those? >> you just save wisdom teeth and then coat themn chocolate and then give them to people. >> he will have that on-line to get the full recipe. >> they come in boxes of 4,000. that's a lot of wisdom, my friend. we will close things out with a post game wrap up with tom shaw lieu.

time to go back to tome pos. >> thanks, andy. well, andrew, sorry i didn't talk a lot at half time. >> really, where were you? >> tell us about your latest book. >> "if we survive" about four americans who find themselves suddenly caught behind the lines in a communist revolution. it is an aligory about the last election. >> liz where can our viewers see this saturday some. >> one story that is interesting is all about how college football coaches are getting paid an average of $1.5 million a year and at a time when tuition costs are going up. we are debating that one. >> jim, plans for new year's eve? >> good question. i will be in buffalo at the helium comedy club. i cooperate find a more despicable environment.