♪ hah

>> the o'reilly factor is on tonight. we have bernard goldberg and dennis miller in a very special factor. i've been working with you too long. >> like giving birth to a pineapple with two satellites connected to it. >> and the jimmy kimmel's comedy. >> jimmy kimmel knows who his audience is, democratic and liberal-- >> and california out lawed and misfed at point and it tastes good. >> fasten the seat belts. >> take the little end and stick it in the big end. >> caution, you're about to enter the no spin zone. the factor begins right now. >> ♪ >> hi, i'm bill o'reilly, thanks for watching us tonight.

the best of our dynamic duo edition, bernard goldberg and dennis miller. we begin this evening with bernie, why dan rather canceled 24 hours before he was supposed to sit down with me. roll the tape. >> 42, i'm not at cbs now because i and my team reported a true story, it was a tough story, a tire a lot of people didn't want to believe and was subjected to a terrific propaganda barrage to discredit it. and avoided the truth and that president later president bush national guard, awol and a tough army general saying on the record he was a desserter. >> and before we get to why you think rather might have canceled, the first question i would ask him off what he said on good morning america, you litigated this to the tune of a couple million dollars and you lost, you lost in a court of law.

your assertion was not, was not deemed credible because if it had been, you would have won. and cbs would have dismissed you without cause and you would have won a huge judgment. how do you square it? that's the kind of question i would like to ask him and he's not going to be on the program and i think that's why he canceled. >> well, first of all, i don't blame him for canceling. i was thinking a few hours ago of canceling myself. (laughter) >> no, but here is my educated, but i think safe guess, i think dan would rather be interviewed by an ideological soulmate whether it's george stephanopoulos or chris mathews or something like that, rather than sit down and be grilled by you. now, everybody knows how charming, lovable you are, bill, but still, i don't think he'd want to sit down and be grilled by you.

so, i don't think it's really that complicated. i think it's-- >> it takes me aback -- it takes me whatever i want to say, i don't even know, it takes me by surprise because rather made his reputation by being confrontational. we all remember the nixon thing and in "6 minut0 minutes, would run over with a trench coat. and o'reilly second biggest book seller next to the today show, and if i kicked o'reilly's butt, okay? i'll look like a hero in front of my crew. so, it's a win-win for me, dan rather. that's the way i would think. he had a lot to gain here. >> you would think so, i mean, he took on in what turned out to be a disaster, he took on george bush, the elder, on the cbs evening news and he sat down face-to-face with saddam hussein, who could have had him killed before he left the

country, but i know that -- i know it doesn't sound logical, but i think he's more comfortable with sitting down with a murderer like saddam hussein than he is -- i know, i you know what i'm going to say, than you. >> and the only reason people cancel. >> bill: yeah. >> because they have a conflict of scheduling and that wasn't it because he could have said, how about if i do it some other time. >> bill: we would have taped him. >> he doesn't want to do it. >> bill: and he doesn't want to do it. >> you said he spent a couple of million dollars. no, in the interview that he did with some print or online thing, the person said you spent 5 million dollars on this case, and rather said i wish it were only 5 million, it was more than that. >> bill: wow. >> so you know what? you know what? here is a guy -- here is a man who covered every major story since the assassination of jfk. he has put his life in danger more than a few times, and i

think he's painfully aware of the fact that some day down the road, when somebody writes the obit for dan rather, in the first paragraph it's going to contain the words, either memo-gate or rather-gate or something like this and i think that hurts him terribly. >> bill: he could have rabid it here. you say that the media did not defeat mitt romney, but it did help president obama, explain that? >> yeah, were there reporters, a lot of reporters who were rooting for barack obama? absolutely, no question. but did mitt romney lose because of that? no, but no with an asterisk, let's take one example, benghazi. the media played down that story. if they had played it up that could have been a big deal, could have been a game changer, could have swayed the election. mitt romney didn't either, and he decided after the first presidential debate to play it safe, run out the clock, bad strategy and then the

hurricane and the embrace with the governor, and the president, lights out. here is where the asterisk is, and media did affect the election. when president obama-- when president obama decided he wanted to run for president, the media decided they were going to fall in love with him. he were going to create an image of somebody who was bigger, better, different, smarter, than any other politicians who came before him. he wasn't even a politician, as far as they were concerned. he was-- there was a chum in the wall street journal that described him as america's first cult personality president. it worked, bill. the pr campaign that the media crafted worked. obama got reelected. but, here is the final point on this. when you have this messiah-type figure who also has a goody bag, who's handing

out free stuff to people. hey, you want contraceptives? hey, they're free, i'll give it to you. you want money? i'll take it from this guy and give it to these people. that's a tough candidate to beat and the media created that image, which is totally false, he is a politician, at times a very nasty politician, but they created a kind of mother teresa character and it worked. >> moses, i think more moses than mother teresa,'s coming down, he's got the tablets, this is how we're going to do it, it's all going to work out. that's very good astute analysis. all right. inside the republican party there's a lot of anger and bitterness and finger pointing and blaming and we've got to change and what do you say? >> well, i say, first of all, you're absolutely right in what you said just now. what we're going to hear and we've already started hearing it, we nominated a moderate four years ago, it didn't work. we nominated a moderate this time, it didn't work.

now, we need a real conservative and if by real, they mean the most conservative candidate available, that will be a very, very big sting, because pat buchanan, to use an example, was the most conservative in recent memory, he never became president and never won the support of most republicans. here is where the problem comes in, the republicans need a conservative with charisma, and it's got to be the kind of candidate who is smart enough to explain to these groups, like women, latinos, young voters, and they have to stop this bible-based bashing of gay people. they have to bring these people in without, without selling out their conservative-- >> that's the hard part because look. >> it's not going to be easy. >> bill: and in order to get

them in the tent, many of them, you've got to throw the abortion issue right out the window and that's a core fundamental belief. >> that's the problem. >> bill: go ahead. >> that's the problem, no, you're absolutely right, absolutely. abortion should be be thrown out the window, not as an issue, but you could still be pro-life and say, hey, this is not one of the things i'm going to be talking about during the campaign. you don't sell out your pro-life principles, but you a big issue because there are too many women out there who say, you know, there's a war on women. >> i've got to run this jimmy kimmel clip because it says something about the correspondents audience at the soiree on saturday night. >> bill o'reilly wrote a controversial book about another great president called "killing lincoln." i actually have my own theory about lincoln's death, i think john wilks booth was innocent. i think it wasn't an

assassination, i think he had an idea what the republican party would become in 150 years and he shot himself. >> bill: all right, applause and wild laughter. is this because the correspondents are overwhelmingly liberal and democrat? >> yes. (laughter) >> that's it? >> yeah, i mean, yes, it is it. that is it, actually. jimmy kimmel is a pro, he knows who his audience is, he knows that they're overwhelmingly liberal and democratic and he also knows that this president spoke to the same audience just a few years ago and said many of you covered my campaign and all of you voted for me and they weren't even embarrassed. they applauded, that's right. they applauded. >> bill: right. >> they applauded, exactly. so, i think kimmel, look, this joke was funny. if you're a liberal democrat and that's who was in the audience, overwhelmingly. >> next up, bernie goldberg sounds soff on the media's reaction to the rumble. because the media who have had

jon stewart, they loved it, they were willing to tolerate you. >> and later, dennis miller has thoughts on louis farrakhan and nancy pelosi. everybody hide on this one. [ male announcer ] research suggests cell health plays a key role throughout our lives. one a day men's 50+ is a complete multivitamin designed for men's health concerns as we age. it has 7 antioxidants to support cell health. one a day men's 50+.

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>> bill: thanks for >> thanks nor staying with us and the bernie segment. bring in bernard goldberg from north carolina. starting with the rumble. >> we're starting with the-- >> the bigger one. >> all right, you're not going to agree with me. reasonable people may disagree, so please, don't go barney frank on me, okay? i think this, this debate is one more piece of evidence that we live in an entertainment culture. the new york times covered this, the l.a. times, wall street journal, "the

washington post," following stone, guardian over in england covered this, by the way, they called you a right-wing blow hard. >> bill: what a shock. it's communist paper as far left as you can get. >> far left paper, no question. >> bill: right. >> websites all around the world covered it and i think they covered it because you two, you and jon stewart, put on a good show and the media loves a good show because you bring in an audience and he brings in an audience and all of these other news organizations want to run, you know, play off of your coat tails and get hits on their website and increase circulation, however they cover this thing. so, i think, i think even if two intellectual giants, like william f buckley, and gore vidale were still with us and held a 90-minute debate it wouldn't get as much attention as the debate that you and jon stewart got. >> bill: okay. >> i'm just saying, all right?

the second point i want to make is that because the media loves jon stewart and they really love him, they were willing to tolerate you. (laughter) >> it could have been anybody, right? >> well, something like that, but if jon stewart -- in jon stewart ever came out and flat-out said and meant ti don't like bill o'reilly -- now, i know he professes to like you which i'm not at all convinced he's telling the truth about, if he came out and said, no, i don't like him, i think he's a jerk shall the media would have caught you up in that debate. because they like stewart, they went easy on the-- just the encapslation of the event? >> my only point is the reason this got-- it sounds crazy to me, the reason it it got worldwide attention is because of the entertainment value. >> bill: i'm not arguing that

and because of the charisma of the performance. you can't discount-- >> jon stewart is very charismatic. >> bill: he is. so i'm watching 60 minutes last night on the navy seal who shot bin laden and i thought it was a pretty straight report, no spin. >> i watched the interview, i found it riveting television, no opinions, no slant, no raised eyebrows. scott pelley, the reporter, who had a seal who was actually there during the raid. he asked questions the way you should and he let the guy tell his story. and i think in addition to them doing it right, i can it was important because you remember when it first came out that bin laden was killed, i mean, there were all sorts of versions of it. he was watching tv. he threw his wife in front of him. the seal with the gun, there was a 45 minute gun fight, so all of these supposed facts weren't facts at all. last night, the seal told the

story and in his book he tells the story of what happened. bin laden stuck his head out the door, blood, hshot him in the head. he was twitching on the ground. the seal shoot him a few more times, it was serious television done the right way. >> bill: okay. and the reason that -- because bernie and i criticize, not only cbs news, they've turned it around, since pelley took over and jeff fagar, once in a while through the left, culture of course from all of them is a liberal culture inside the operation, but i think cbs is trying to be fair-minded. now, i don't see any bias over there, do you? >> no, i think you're right on two points, and the first point you made is a really upon one. i know jeff and i know that

he's not an ideologue, and he's trying to turn it around, but i know there's a culture and this is an important point you make, there's a culture of liberalism-- >> for decades. >> that's right. and it does, it does come through more than it should in my view. >> bill: okay. coming up, bernie and i chat about the success of fox news. >> i've got to be honest, i don't know what she was saying, if she was implying that you're in the tank, the only tank i could figure out you're in is in the bill o'reilly tank. >> bill: right back with you. se

networks hire. >> that's true there is co >> the bernie segment tonight, there was a discussion about political operatives hired by political news conferences as pundits. >> when cnn contributors, whether it's over at fox or be gala here or others at nsmnc and a-ha, she's speaking for obama and that's what they play when they hire people with a dual road. >> you saw glenn beck out at

fox news and bill o'reilly and i think that damages the fox news brand. >> bill: well, it can't be too much damage to fox news brand, the highest rated prime time news program in the country and miss mason is obviously woefully uninformed, is this woman-- >> i have to take the factor and-- look, here is the thing, bill, the honest short answer is, i don't have a clue as to what she's talking about. howie kirtz raised a legitimate point when he talked about people who are motor commenttators on shows like this and political activists at the same time working for a party or a candidate, but the-- i mean, if she was implying, i've got to be honest, i don't know what she was saying, if she's implying you're in the tank, the only tank i can figure out you're in is in the bill o'reilly tank, you love bill o'reilly and. >> bill: the shark tank. >> and butt in the down-- you never saw bill o'reilly under the bus. >> bill: the question was

fairly clear, as you defined. all right, you hire guys like begala and carville and karl rove, you're hiring a party, you're hiring the party guys, that's what they do and then when they come in they're looking at it it through the prism of the party and all of a sudden, this woman comes on and goes, glenn beck and bill o'reilly. now, i'm certainly not in any party. >> but-- >> i am so tired of this branding fox news as a republican outfit. i can't tell you. >> let me tell you what i think this is about, since her answer didn't make any sense. let me give you an educated guess. i think you, you, bill o'reilly, have become the poster boy for every liberal complaint about anything on cable tv for a couple of reasons. not because you're corrupt or you're the most biased person, it's because you're the most well-known person, that's the problem and of course, because you work for fox. nobody out there is saying cable tv would be so much better if we could only get

rid of dylan ratigan. i mean, people listening to us now are saying, who? who did he just say? you're well-known, that's the price you pay for being well-known. it's garbage, i grant you there, but some free advice from a friend, if barack obama attacks you, if the new york times attacks you, if the pope attacks you, respond. if julie, julie mason-- >> it's not about here, it's about cnn that's what it's about. and cnn is a brand that goes all over the world and this is why i get annoyed and it's worth their while, they being the liberal media, that wants president obama, to marginalize an outfit that's not trying to get the president reelected. it's not trying to get anybody elected in my opinion. yes, we have people who are pro republican on this network, but it's worth it for them to marginalize and that brings me to my bigger point. the media-- >> let me just say i don't

think that howie kirtz was doing that. >> bill: no, no, but he could have easily said you're crazy. o'reilly doesn't have anything to do with the republican party and nothing does beck. he could have done that. he knows that. >> he said something like that. >> bill: he said some meli-mouthed thing. didn't slap her down like he should. enough of this. the larger point the folks get it. the folks know the media is it dishonest and the media is not in the business to report the news anymore or the news fit to print my you know what, they're there to advance ideological stuff. and if the polls say they know it, that means the press won't have any influence on the presidential election this time around. >> when you say the folks know it, i think what you really mean is the folks who pay attention. >> bill: folks who are polled, who are polled. >> yeah, but the ones it may affect. it's not going to affect anybody who pays attention because liberal says that the

media is in the tank for barack obama. the ones it may affect, let's be generous, and say who aren't paying close attention, who aren't sophisticated. when the media put on the short skirts as they did last time around and pompons and slant it in barack obama's favor, that may affect the less sophisticated people if they go out to vote. but it will be minimal, it will be at the margin, it will not, in my view, determine the outcome of the election. >> and it doesn't matter anymore with the new york times editorializing and we enforce selling so-- >> it matters a lot on the upper west side of manhattan and that's about it. >> what, are they going to be shocked up there? come on. >> we're discussing the horrendous amount of violence in chicago and much of it in the black neighborhoods, i said this to our guest, reverend ira akree. >> when the civil united states legislation wasn't kicked in, the black family was much more stable than it is today. 70% of black babies born out

of wedlock and i think the number in 1960 was below 50%. so, things have gotten worse as the society has gotten more progressive. >> well, we don't want to make it a racial-- >>, but that's what it is. it's black crime going on in chicago, and the percentage of out of wedlock births among black americans was 25% in 1965, was that a surveyor of bernard goldberg.com. and the reverend clearly didn't want to address that. >> and i'm tempted to say understandably, but i think it's embarrassing. 72.5% out of wedlock birth rate in america today. african-americans. >> for african-americans, that's embarrassing. and you know, in the entire recorded history of the planet, there has never been a greater voluntary abandonment of men from their children than this is today in black america, never.

i mean, when men went off to war, they had to go off to war, that wasn't voluntary, but never as great a voluntary abandonment of children by their fathers than in black america today. >> bill: why do you think that's happening? >> well, i think it's happening for -- if i have to pick the most important reason, it's fatherlessness. >> bill: perpetuates itself? if you don't have a father it's the same thing. >> you said yourself, it creates chaos, one of the reasons so many people killing themselves in chicago. >> bill: it's my problem as a historian, out of historical point of view. 1960-65 was the time in america there was all kinds of civil rights problems. the black out of wedlock birth date then was 22 it to 25%. and this was the roughest, roughest part, okay? it's tripled now, tripled, why?

>> one of the reasons -- i'll tell you why in a second. one of the reasons that they, the black community attributes to this, black civil rights leaders, is races. in 1940, when there was a lot of racism in the united states out of wedlock birth date was 19%, then in 1965, as you said, 65%. >> bill: 25. >> 25%, this coincides with the beginning of the great society welfare state. from 1965 until today it's gone up, it's gone up geometrically, so that's what happened. the government became the father. >> bill: next up, dennis miller and unforgettable moments from the past year. >> and the number one position continues to be hot blooded like foreigner, four weeks in a row top of the charts. >> bill: you don't want to miss it. we're coming right back. is a great reason to slow down. creamy mash potatoes, homestyle gravy and 320 calories. marie callender's. it's time to savor.

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>> tonight, southern california, president obama

launching a drone on us and basically the president told the world i'm going to get whoever i want if i think the terrorists, you and i probably fall under that category and anybody else around you blown up and that's that, right? >> well, listen, let's say the unmanned drone, the new hot tech item. this would be the iphone. now, it's like the die-phone or something, and you know, everybody should have one. i kind of like how efficient it is. it's bloodless, makes nonsubjective decisions and get a hernia test from an unmanned drone? and i see the president had to kill this this week and angry to find out i moved to number three, you're at four, and biden has been moved into the number two spot and that's ironic 'cause biden's secret service name is the unmanned drone if i'm not mistaken,

number one continued to be hot blooded by foreigner, four weeks in a row at the top of the charts. ♪ i'm hot blooded check it and see ♪ u. >> bill: celebrities couples, forbes magazine making a lot of money together, all right? number one, beyonce and jay-z apparently make 78 million dollars in a year ending may, 2012. and you, do you believe that, first of all? 78 million, these two? >> well, probably, i'm sure, billy. i don't know much about him. to me, they might as well call him jay-z zz because it's a bit after snooze. and they say he's a genius and alicia keyes and he starts talking. . [rappi [rapping] >> if he's making 78 million off of that, he is a freakin'

genius. two spot, tom brady, a complete mench and next to my wife, the hottest woman. gisele. and 72 million. >> most of that's got to come from her. i think that brady for 15 or 16 with the patriots. so, she's a big breadwinner there and victoria and david beckham. >> well, this one i don't get, 54 million. >> the last time he hooked a goal was, you know, back in the early '60s, i believe. >> and oh. >> and the simple fact is she appears to be one of the four or five least interesting people who lived in the history of the planet earth and that look on her face that-- >> spice girl, and at the olympics-- >> i don't think that somebody tightened the lid on that spice girl, getting a little old and he's running around, one tad away from being the chief harpooner on the watch.

and the two first i get, i don't get him. >> brad pitt angelina jolie and will pinkett and jada. >> and brad hit and his wife angelina jolie, big heroes, i think they do the right thing. i admire them immensely. >> do you think this story has a happy ending? >> happy endings are for-- >> miller, i have to confess, i don't eat a lot of french food because i heard if you do, you're spelled to wear a beret and i don't like the look. >> foi gras, is that how you say it. >> it's the goose liver and shoot it with food and make the liver fatter. tastes great. you can't have it in california and listen, i know when my head hits the pillow the at night i shouldn't be

able to sleep because you know, daffy-- >> let's running through that again. >> and self-serve island gets fred grain out the wazoo. >> sorry. >> we're talking about a world where we're taking some of the kids in these countries and doing most atrocious things to them. i mean, they're geese at some point. it tastes good. give it a the shot, that's all i have to say. >> bill: the streak, california outlawed foi gras because it's misfed? >> and everybody else in california, but the goose has too much food in it. the goose in new york city can't buy a 16-ounce soda and the geese are outraged. and they're flying back, they need a big gulp right now. >> bill: have you ever been goosed on the subway? trust me, it's worth a lot more. >> aflac. >> next up. what does miller thing about

farrakhan's rant over fast food? >> one man's slime is another man's roughage. >> bill: more miller in a moment. ten to me. listen to these happy progressive customers. i plugged in snapshot, and 30 days later, i was saving big on car insurance. with snapshot, i knew what i could save before i switched to progressive. the better i drive, the more i save. i wish our company had something this cool. you're not filming this, are you? aw! camera shy. snapshot from progressive. test-drive snapshot before you switch. visit progressive.com today.

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♪ oh what a relief it is! ♪ [ male announcer ] to learn more about the cold truth and save $1 visit alka-seltzer on facebook. >> >> thanks for staying with us. in the personal story segment tonight. from time to time we put together highlights of our poll dennis miller doing whatever he does. two reasons, number one, sometimes it's hard to understand miller the first time around and number two, sometimes what he says is worth hearing again. prince william and his wife kate middleton expecting a little royal person. do you care? are you following this? >> listen, that girl better hope that the kid doesn't have her father-in-law's ears or she should get hooked up to the epidural tomorrow. that's going to be a tough --

that's going to be a rough rafting trip there. in england they come down the other side of the fallopian tube. i don't get the royal thing and richard burrton isstunning . >> peter o'toole plays richard ii and such a creep you wonder how they ever pulled off this whole royalty thing. they're just people like us. they have somebody else put their pants on one leg at a time for them. and they're just like us. i don't know how they get by with all of this stuff. look, there's gallagher, why is gallagher on the screen? >> we're going to start with the watermelon. >> that's not gallagher, that's the queen. >> it's like giving birth to a pineapple with two direct tv satellite dishes connected to it. >> that's cruel, man. a pineapple? (laughter)

>> we're lucky to have him here in the l.a. studio and traveled down by limo from his palatial house in santa barbara. >> a limo? we're on fox, they sent half a smart car. i drove myself. >> bill: gas is $5 a gallon. >> and i've got you a welcome to l.a. gift. >> bill: that's nice, for me. >> all right. don't worry about it. >> a little something. >> bill: oh. i was wanting to read this "killing lincoln". >> bill: i've been wanting to read this. >> i'll sign it for you. (laughter) >> are you mocking me? my contract that's not allowed. >> and i'm hawking for you. >> bill: i know. gas prices going through the roof, and you say? >> well, first off, whenever i think of you know, the cost of gas, i have to say it's not like my biggest thing. >> but you're a rich guy. >> and i remember i take a two

ton object, move it 30 miles for you know, that point it's two bucks and now it's four bucks and it's not the worst deal you could get. >> who owns this country physically, the land, indians? >> no, we do. >> the indians are incorporated in that-- >> we the people own the land and we own 12 miles of ocean off shore, that's the u.s. sphere. and we own that, it's ours, all the 320 million american citizens. the government doesn't own it, the oil companies don't own it, so, they take the stuff out of our land and they send it to china. does that make sense to you? >> and other than saying that on this show if you want to get in the way of that process. and take a lot of flak. >> just like taxes want to be the first guy to say i'm not paying my taxes. >> bill: be next to wesley

snipes and tough to be in a cell with wesley he turned into a vampire. >> and that's where vampires congregate. >> and here is wesley snipes. no one saw the movie, but if they do. >> only 56 people who saw that. >> that's right. >> and all of them were vampires. >> have you been to mcdonald's lately? >> i'm not laughing, damn it, i'm not laughing! and damn it, don't you laugh 'cause they're killing you with your taste buds. you don't understand, but you'll hate me for exposing them today! there's a slime in the burger. it's got silicone, they practice how to decve your taste buds and your nose. >> bill: i'd like the satan

special, please, large fry, big mac. >> you know what's worse than that, billy? guess who owns burger king stock. >> not personal with me. >> louis farrakhan. >> that's right, is it just mcdonald's satan is hanging out behind the counter or fast food joints. >> one man's slime is another person's roughage. >> bill: i hate to explain farrakhan because i've got enough trouble explaining you. i think he's talking about the fast food, high fat, obesity, all of that, i think that's what he's talking about. >> well, it all comes back to the white man trying to kill the black man, sometimes a burger is just a burger, you know what i mean? and the rev calls everybody, it's always the pot calling the kettle white, you know, with the reverend. . >> monday night i tune into see miller on hawaii 5-0, but unfortunately i tuned in three minutes after ten o'clock eastern time and miller was

already dead. roll the tape. >> yeah. >> isn't that occupy moving driving me crazy when i go by. what i'm saying, it's over, time to take the phony, get these kids out of there. i'm sorry, blow your minds little silver surfer, guess what the time in history where your mind deserves to be blown. >> bill: oh, who killed you, miller? >> that was written by a young staff writer named louis farrakhan. >> i'm not laughing, damn it, i'm not laughing! >> so miller is dead and then james kahn, scott, the other guy solves the crime. did you go to heaven or helling on that program, by the way? >> billy, i wasn't watchin the whole program i was trying to keep current. >> bill: you didn't see the

whole thing? >> i saw myself, i got blown up. why are you going to watch the rest of it. >> bill: don't you want to know if it's justice done by the bad guy. >> i'm hanging on that. >> something really enticing. >> and jimmy kahn in the parking lot. are you on this show? he said this is for my kid, not for my career. (laughter) >> hey, what are you going to do? >> coming up, the sage of southern california sounds off the bacon sundae. >> somebody finally gets it, nothing to top off a sweltering mid august hot day. >> bill: and rapper snoop dogg, miller is next.

>> in miller time. taking on topics, beginning with san francisco. by the way, have you ever had a street named after new santa barbara, your adopted town or pittsburgh where you grew up? anybody name a street after you? >> i was a bit of a dead end, so maybe a cul-de-sac for a while. listen, i heard a story, a clueless lane over there and turned it over to pelosi, i have not seen the street, but

i will tell you this, it must be heavily, heavily, heavily paved, okay? >> well, look. >> you know something? if ethical behavior is a straight line they should have given pelosi lumbar street. >> here is the deal about nancy pelosi drive in san francisco, number one, no right-hand turns got to turn left on the street. >> makes sense. >> bill: all right, number two, it's one way, only one way. and there's no give and take to it. and number three, there's a lot of homeless people have now arrived to live on the street because of the entitlements that come along with nancy pelosi. >> i tell what you, billy, the first night i get up there, and i'm going to spray paint an l on there so it reads nancy pelosi drivel. >> bill: and you'll be arrested. alcatraz, paddling out there. >> this is not combat, it's an act of lunacy.

>> burger king, they have a new item on the menu and mayor bloomberg was the first one in line for this. it's a bacon sundae. it's a dessert with bacon on it. >> finally, somebody finally gets it, that there's nothing to top off a sweltering hot mid august day like a crispy fried hog fat. how long has this been in the offing? you know what, billy? like the muslim world needs another reason to hate us, okay? now, bacon, we can't even have dessert any more without offending al-qaeda. (laughter) i've got an idea for a summer treat for the people of manhattan, it's called a bloomberger. it's half the size, twice the price and obviously, you get a really small drink with it. how about we sell that? (laughter) all right, bacon sundaes everybody. >> ooh.

and in snoop dogg busted for pot. shocked, i know we're all shocked, the same place willy nelson got busted. >> i don't have a huge tolerance for it. >> probably not a good stretch of road down there. border patrol popping snoop, you say? >> i say it's straight that piece of road, but looks like square because of the drivers, this is munchie-ville, usa. and first time they could have busted anybody since willie, the fumes like batman and little boy, that only cleared last week. and snoopy came through on the first time they could have isolated him as getting high. >> and really. >> listen, i think the judge down there ought to take snoop, willie, george michael from wham, and one of the kids from jamaica, have a smokeoff to raise money for charity.

>> bill: like a chili cookoff. the smokeoff, like-- >> the chili cookoff with cannibus, you're right. >> do you want some chili? >> more from the d-man coming up. ♪ c'mon dad! i'm here to unleash my inner cowboy... instead i got heartburn. [ horse neighs ] hold up partner. prilosec isn't for fast relief. try alka-seltzer. kills heartburn fast. yeehaw!

>> thanks for staying with us, i'm bill o'reilly. in the next miller segment, the d-man added a little extra flare. the best of miller block you don't want to miss. >> forbes released its list of top overexposed celebrities and you want to talk about three of them, go. >> well, listen, i saw the usual suspects, it's the kardashian and the jersey shore kids. i would say this, in lieu of emotional intellectual or spiritual heft which is what it used to take to become an

immortal, we use redundancy and imprint them like a famed strobe light or something. and at this time in history, what piques our interest as a culture is uninteresting people. it's just that simple. the emptyiest vessels are the ones you can empty your dreams and aspirations into and when these kids sit at home and everybody wants to be famous like warhol said and look to see if you're talented. i can't do that. and when they see snooki on mt. rushmore, i'm going to watch snooki, you can you be snooki. >> bill: very perceptive, miller. like i can do this and watch how she does it and maybe i'll get my own show. >> i'm not trashy, unless i drink too much. >> bill: new york city desperate for money as everybody is, municipalities all over, they're going to tax yoga. going to tax yoga. >> yeah. pretty soon bloomberg is going to come in with a ruler and

measure the plumber's crack, the fat guy in front of me and hit him with an exposure to the rest of the class. and you need it with the downward dog. they're like aliens, remember bill packston looking at that scanner, stop your grinning and drop your linen. >> they want everything and they're going to keep taxing, and keep taxing, watch it because they'll eventually croak the host organism and there will be nothing to suck off. >> bill: crazy, if you go by the yoga class you have to pay the city a tax. the taxman as the beatles once sang ♪ yeah, i'm the tax man ♪ >> al-jazeera, you know the al-jazeera network i'm sure you have it on your cable. >> yeah, right next to the al jiroux network. ♪ >> i love that song.

okay, now, they say al-jazeera said that the usa's torturing terror suspect by playing them sesame street. >> tlyrics talks about the words and numbers, but these songs were used for inhumane purposes. ♪ come and play, everything is a-okay ♪ >> in 2003, and u.s. intelligence services tortured detainees with sesame street music for days. (laughter) >> i'll tell you anything you want to know, just stop it. go ahead. >> well, listen, there's a lot the intricacies through this story, i don't know the wheres and why's, if they're using music from pbc, bill moyer is getting a piece of it somewhere down the road. >> listen, i think it helps kids, it keeps them alive to learn how to