to drugs containing zolpidem, such as ambien. allergic reactions such as shortness of breath or swelling of your tongue or throat may occur and may be fatal. intermezzo should not be taken if you have taken another sleep medicine at bedtime or in the middle of the night or drank alcohol that day. do not drive or operate machinery until at least 4 hours after taking intermezzo and you're fully awake. driving, eating, or engaging in other activities while not fully awake without remembering the event the next day have been reported. abnormal behaviors may include aggressiveness, agitation, hallucinations, or confusion. alcohol or taking other medicines that make you sleepy maincrease these risks. in depressed patients, worsening of depression, including risk of suicide, may occur. intermezzo, like most sleep medicines, has some risk of dependency. common side fects are headache, nausea, and fatigue. so if you suffer from middle-of-the-night insomnia, ask your docto about intermezzo and return to sleep again.

♪ >> bret: finally tonight, we have already given you a glimpse of the secretive selection process to choose a new pope, starting in coming days. tonight, another channel dives into the grueling procedures to become pontiff. >> once that conclave begins, they will be sequestered from the world. and they won't have a pope until a decision is made. all prospects will be judged on speed. [ laughter ] >> mobility. and strength. o. cardinal combine. check out all the action on sppen 2. >> thanks for inviting us into your home tonight. that's it for this "special report." fair balanced and unafraid.

welcome to "red eye." it is luke friends without the let's go to andy levy for a pre game report. what is coming up on tonight's show, old sport? >> the white house says the sequester forces to can sell all tours. it just got real, people. and dennis rodman thrown out of a manhattan hotel because he wouldn't stop talking about how great kim jg-un -- kim jung-un is. it is run by thugs and gangsters who happen to be drunk. >> did you see they are having the presidential election in kenya? >> can't say i have been following it that closely. >> i am hearing rumors that they might be a secret american. >> really? where did you hear this? >> various sources tell me that it is possible -- i don't have any confirmation that they may be born in ohio.

>> any word on his college transcript? >> i am being told no, we do not have any word on his college transcripts. but we do know he used to like to smoke the crack. >> interesting. interest willing. i will be waiting for a donald trump tweet on this. >> updates as we go along. now go back to your little hole. let's welcome our guests. it has to be painful. i am here with author and political commentator -- imogen body webber. a nice, blue cover. if musical genius were the hokey poe key i -- pokey i did him in a roller rink. it is larry gatlin. i think he is taking the bar exam. and he is considered a headrest. it is my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and if thoughtful commentary was a new pair of nikes he would come in a cardboard box.

news editor michael moynihan, comb your hair. >> a-block, the lead. that's the first story. >> oh ya. this will be good. >> would the world be gray if we didn't have to pay? sweden is one of the tax happiest countries on the planet. the average worker is coughing up 70% of his salary. i believe they paid an ikea coupon. but life would be characterized by blite according to this psa.

>> that's without taxes. you are like a skinny good looking male model. in america, a country i happened to love, taxpayers don't bleed as much as swedes. according to a congressional report they were on pace to hit a record $2.7 trillion a year. that is $5.4 trillion half dollars. and we can't afford to keep the white house open to visitors. blame the sequester, of course. and a recorded message on the visitor's hotline couldn't be more morose. here is the recording you will hear if you call. >> thank you for calling the 24-hour hotline. due to staffing reductions resulting from the see questions station, we regret to tell you that white house tours will be canceled effective march 9th, 2013

until further notice. unfortunately we will not be able to reschedule affected tours. we very much regret having to take this action, especially during the popular spring touring season. >> wow, that is powerful. obama was right. sequestration is evil. look at what it has done. >> you can't get a tour of the white house? those are the most transparent and stupid things. we don't have anything. just tell them we can't do it here. that's the only thing we directly control. they are not even saying we can't send a cruiser to take over hugo chavez. >> he is still dead, by the way.

>> control yourself, young man. could they be using the see questions station as an excuse to remodel the white house? maybe they can do some having couling. vacuuming. >> there you go. >> what did you say, stupid and -- it is stupid and something else you said. they are already taking it down a dark lane. >> they like that. i think, liar, liar. i wrote a song and it says "i know you are lying because your lips are moving. so if their lips are moving i am not the brightest blame in the candle shop. i have to take on a boot. the numbers aren't my thing. i do know the difference between a 2% cut in the increase, but it does not mean a 2% cut in what you got in

your pocket right now. they are lying bastards. >> they are perpetuating stereo types. >> do we have poo day -- dwo -- do we have to pay for that song? >> immogen, thank you. is the white house playing with with -- like creating bad news about the sequester because that's how they made it sound before it happened? >> obama wanted it to happen because he was sick of the tours. i have been in the white house and it is not that big. republicans and democrats are going to have to sort themselves out and start sacrificing. >> are you saying you hope the president gets tau --

tuberculosis? >> they have been completely useless. >> i am going to go out on a limb and say i want neither republicans nor democrats to get small poke or chicken. -- smallpox. >> isn't it time for bruce mcclain to take over the white house. this is basically saying that we can't come to a house that we own. isn't it time to scale the white house and take it back for america? >> john mcclain and bruce might be his gay brother. i am for that. >> it is bruce willis with john mcclain. >> i just pulled a gatlin. >> the career is on the up swing right now. >> you gatlined that. >> response to what i might have said. >> i feel like it would be a delightful brunch where both

houses could meet and discuss it in or near the oval office, and then john would come in with the violence and ruin everything. >> when they came in and burnt the first house down? >> i don't think i would brag about about a country and now is the size of rhode island. >> steady. >> i'm sorry. i meant that in a christian sense. >> i want to ask you before we move on about this. you are from sweden. >> i am not. but i have lived between -- i have a wife who has had a baby -- >> stop bragging. >> what is the interesting thing about the swedish psa was saying without taxes your world would suck. >> it wasn't this one, but they have done this in the past. last time they felt it necessary to say please pay us your money because you are not going to do it without a

commercial. they produced the commercials in estonia. why? they are fantastic people. lower taxes. the tax authority in sweden was tax shopping ssments -- tax shopping. by the way, this is where elizabeth warren got the talking points. >> they were saying you are not going to -- they confuse people who want lower taxes with anarchists. >> in defense of the sweden they are the third most prosperous in the world. apparently they are outstanding and the swedish people are happy. >> they are happy. >> they kill all of their willed on people. is that true? >> that's the dance. >> am i getting confused? >> they kill the old people and sometimes the young people. >> it is true about sweden and sweden has gone from left wing government in the 80sand 90s to more conservative government in seven or eight

years. and the changes have been market reforms. they got away from the old model . >> a little history on sweden without mentioning it. >> i sucked the air out of this room. >> you know how i can tell? did you see how dark it is? >> that's what uh stone jew looks like. >> from the white house to a drunk louse. he is still loco for noco. the new york post reports that dennis rodman was kicked on ut of a manhattan bar hours after telling everyone what a great guy the north korean deck -- dictator is. he was fast friends with kim j nu g-un last week as this north korean news report foppedly remembers. report fondly remembers.

>> it was a spontaneous eruption that went on for 55 minutes. then he enjoyed the game. >> fun was had by all. >> in that span of time approximately 500 north koreans starvedded to death. north korea is steamed about the u.s. in china have imposed sanctions in response to its nuclear test last month. noko issued a statement threatening to nullify the

1953 air miss it is a that ended the korean war saying we aim to launch surgical strikes s being bound by the accord and the advanced -- and advance our switch for national unification. anyway, i prefer to focus on the basketball game, particularly the half time show. >> it was actually better than the game. larry, i am guessing back in the day you were kicked out of many a hotel. what would you say to rodman if you could talk some sense into him? >> have i no desire to talk to him at all. and i really thing the fact -- the folks who scheduled all of this, but the fact we spent this much time on -- you know you are the tall black version

of paris hilton. >> that sounds attractive. >> famous for being -- >> famous for being a has been. to spend time on this guy -- >> you noy what, it is entertaining. what would you rather have us talk about? >> it is a good story. >> they are people in fur coats. >> does it end with rodman in rehab? rehab being the club in vegas? >> interestingly it is all down to hbo. this is for an hbo documentary. he is called the worm. the worm goes to the her met -- h re m -- the hermet kingdom. it is a big joe they are pulling on us. maybe with north korea are in cahoots. >> you are giving credit to a lot of people who deserve not that much. >> i will just say it is for a

segment on an hbo show. i know a little something about. it is all very nice people and one of them has advised me to wait and see what the final product is before anybody gets too excited. rodman is the way they got in. he was photographed with -- he was president as fat back then. >> it is funny he is fat in north korea and skinny in switzerland. he was wearing a rodman jersey, but that's what they used to gett in. to get in. you are left with a gay who is a seem -- with a guy who is a semiliteral washed up has been on abc trying to explain his basketball diplomacy. and we didn't understand a word he said. >> bill, you are a lot like rodman without the wealth basketball talent or interesting history. try to say something marginally less stupid because you don't mind.

you can question rodman's judgment as far as him going back off the wagon again and babbling to anyone that would listen near time square about all of the things. he chose to get off the wagon at an italian restaurant. he didn't go someplace cool. he went somewhere he can load up on pasta when he decided to get off the wagon. that's why we can't trust anything. >> he was also walking through carrying the manifesto. he hadn't read it yet. >> the implication was it wasn't sober. >> he ought to get drunk again. this is my test. where would dennis rodman be on your list -- if your ass was in a jam where would he be on the call list? >> the chances are he put your ass in the jam, literally.

don't knock it until you have tried it. >> while we are on the subject of dictators, any thoughts here on the news today. you are noticing a lot -- not a lot, but a few people on twitter are expressing kind thoughts with jimmy carter and a congressman from brooklyn. >> the bronks. >> saying he needed to be misunderstood. >> when he died which i suspect was four weeks ago, but when he found out i wrote a quick obituary and the headline included good riddance. my feelings are pretty strong. but it is incredible. i don't know where joe kennedy is going to -- whose ass he will kiss now. he was doing the ads. he also released a statement which i haven't had the chance to read. i am wearing a black arm band under my jacket. but not because the dude is dead, but it is solidarity with the oil markets. >> i am going to be a real

capitalist and i am going to harvard and i will have a bunch of t-shirts made on the front with hugo chavez on the back. >> you can absolutely start them. >> last word to you this. >> we'll clab for that. >> i am worried about this hbo series. i will be fascinated to see it. >> it might be good. >> they might have got in -- >> i think that was an evasive maneuver on her part to talk about something else. >> were you afraid to offend hugo chavez? >> he is dead. >> in the first 24 hours perhaps one should not spout off. >> i think it states as an american you can say pretty much how you feel. >> but i am not american. >> below the equator. the anniversary of his death.

1953. >> are you a font of useless trif you yeah. coming up -- useless trivia. immogen lloyd webber on why she uses bags only made with fur. but first is this lawmaker just tragically unfunny or a straight up pig? why can't heault, america?

should he resign for crossing the line? he made a remark to a teen girl at a budget hearing. it is one of those words you read, but never say. the 17-year-old was discussing

this, this intern was discussing how a program at the science center helped her get past a fear of snakes. >> during that time i was able to discover i really love working with children. it was fun for me. i was able to talk to children about certain things like the snakes that we have. i never liked snakes. but they are my best friends. i just love the fact that i can have other people also overcome that fear. i have had so many adults come up to me and say i am scared. don't get near me. >> after the re, mas a democrat spoke up. >> are there any questions? >> if you are bashful, i have a snake sitting under my desk here. >> he later said, and it gets kind of worse actually.

he apologizes saying i can see how this is misconstrued as something sexual. he made matters worse when he said he doesn't want a female intern in his office. he says it may sound sexist, but it keeps me good and it keeps everybody else good. what does high five cat think about this? >> he loves these stories. he loves these stories. immogen, what do you make of his candore? was he just a pig? >> he is a pig. this is a classic example of digging yourself a hole and then digging yourself a deeper hole. it is a textbook example. you can't really make it out.

you knew it was going to be a democrat. no men involved. it is a guy on guy deal. there were only like two of them. did he mean -- do you think he should resign over this? >> i think he should. it was a pretty good joke. >> no it wasn't. >> he is 17. >> it that -- no that is fine. >> he is doing the man math. he is doing the man math in his head. >> okay, he should resign. >> i do love the non-apology. you totally misconstrued the joke. it was clearly about. >> it was about snakes. >> and then he doubles down and says this is a massage

nistic remark. and the way i will solve this is by never hiring women. is this guy the dumbest person in america? >> one of the greatest mistake comments ever, i just won't hire women anymore, problem solved. how many times has this happened to you? >> how long do we have? what they should do is take him to my dad's house in plano, texas and introduce this guy to him and tell him -- tell dad that he said that about my baby sister and see how long -- you know, a booger eating moron comes to mind for me. what i want him to do is explain if it were not -- he is talking about a snake under the desk and it was not about your -- what the hell was he talking about? >> that's where he left it on the beautiful word that we all love, bill, misconstrued. that is the word. that's the key that opens up

every door that you can sneak out of is miss con trued. >> misconstrued. a little banner and a little tierra comes out every time somebody says something that could be taken the wrong way and she will pass the baton every time. >> misconstrued she will always say something that is inappropriate and then have to come out later and say i was misconstrued. >> shoo will say i -- she will say i didn't mean to read that. >> why are they playing this music? this is professional. >> you know, to get out of it, listen, guys. that might have been misconstrued, but i won't hire anymore because i won't have sex with them and that was it. that was how he got out. >> why are you misconstruing?

do you have a video of your animal doing something? click on submit a video. we might use it. misconstrued. >> tonight's half time report is sponsored by wall russs. the sea mammals with tough wrinkled skin. thanks, wall russs.

let's find out if we got anything wrong so far. how are you? >> i'm good. how are you? >> i'm great. >> good to hear. >> excellent. >> swedish pro tax and the white house suspends tours. greg, you said you believe swedish workers are paid in ikea coupons. i am 100% sure you do believe that. they are actually paid in crona. >> which as you know #r* distributed at local ikea's. >> i don't believe that is true. >> they are banks. >> you are thinking of horse meat. >> they do have a bank. >> they do have a bank? ikea has a bank. >> tech -- technically you are right. >> stay out of this. >> you said the white house suspending tours is the most transparent and stupid thing ever. >> i didn't mean ever. >> at first i thought they were suspending tour a.

>> no, he is still very much in the mix. >> i thought that was cool at first. i didn't know they could do that. >> you said republicans and democrats have been useless. i think bruce mcclain would completely agree. >> people at home knew what i was doing. >> i think i want to meet bruce. he sounds like my type of man. >> are you claiming to do that on purpose. >> yes. it is what kids call -- so you are saying we misconstrued? >> it is like a bomber with star trek and "star wars." >> what a way to defend them. >> regarding the swedish psa, i thought the message was, long hair, stop playing soccer all day and get a job or that is what will happen.

>> no. everybody knows that. >> i looked it up and i didn't see anything about the dames killing. >> it is obvious you wouldn't find that because you don't speak danish. you understand they kill all of the old people after 55. >> the netherlands actually -- the government takes care and responsibility for the old people. >> i don't know who the netter lands are, but i was talking about denmark. >> that's probably why i got it wrong. is there a difference? >> nope. >> i don't know what it is. >> you said you don't talk to dennis rodman. so how the hell did kim j nu g-un put up with him for two days. >> i don't think he spoke to him and i think they talked to each other and nodded their heads and ate some more raw fish or whatever they ate over there. >> i feel like the images we

saw, like rodman was saying something unintel liggable. that is what he looked like the entire time. >> i have known some great conversationalists. very clever, witty people. we used to do "the tonight show" and people who can really hold a conversation and have real ideas. so for me to spend one -- he would be way down on the list. >> were you going to suggest sending chris chris stove fer son? >> sunday coming down. >> great song. >> you mentioned you know the fine people doing the hbo show with the rodman segment. does that include the fine person who grayinged about the -- who were talking about the course he was served?

>> nobody forced you to say yes. >> are you condoning. >> you could have said no comment. >> but what he said was true. >> they did have a very big -- >> apparently. >> and regarding hugo chavez you wrote up an obit and it included the words good riddance. >> do you have to? >> this is a hate crime. >> the biggest problem venezuela faced during his rule was not that chavez was authoritarian, but that he was -- he wasn't authoritarian enough. >> please tell me that is not true. >> a guy maimed greg grandon wrote it. itit is a lovely write. country. it won a small achievement. there were 21,000 murders in venezuela last year. congratulations.

>> probably capitalists. >> and joe kennedy said he cared about the time when, quote, some of the wealthiest people have more money than they can reasonably expect. >> i want to punch him in the face. that was a combination of two idiotic beliefs. that there is somebody who can tell you how much money you should have and how much money you need. and believing who somebody who is a champion of the poor, but i can't help think of somebody who champions the poor who did anything other than live off them. >> this is the breakfast theory. you away the free breakfast or they have programs for kids and then you do whatever the hell you want. they are a great breakfast program. >> you know who else gives away the free breakfasts? churches. >> the fried chicken place? >> connecticut state representative apologizes to people who misconstrued his snake remark.

first of all ribles or ribled same pronunciation. >> it is true. >> according to who? >> webster's dictionary. >> did you look up the oed? >> you said this is an example of digging a hole and then digging a deeper hole. >> i sort of could have understood it if he said i don't have female interns because i don't want anyone to think there was a chance of inpropriety. that's not what he said. i don't have female interns and that way it keeps me good. that is not good. >> wasn't there another part where he said i have had female interns before and all they do is sit around.

>>- q. i did he say that? >> yes, -- >> did he say that? >> yes. >> i am writing a book at the moment and i will include in it political sex scandals and this is so good that i think it is actually going make the cut. it is genius. >> the only way he could have pulled this off is after he made the snake remark he pulled the snake out from under his head. >> that's why if you are going to be a sexist pig always have some kind of -- >> always carry props. >> have a reptile nearby. >> you have to have a chicken and a small bird and you have to have a snake. >> if you want to say nice breasts, make sure you have fillet of chicken nearby. >> always cover your tracks. >> always walk around with a guy named richard. >> by the way, according to the hartford current he has a bit of history of inappropriate behavior so not the first time. and the age of consent in connecticut is 16.

>> totally fair. >> some things i don't even know. >> i stand by my earlier comments. >> wish the girl was 17. >> exactly. >> you know what is funny, did she laugh at the joke? >> she did. >> i think people were just shocked. >> and also by the way, he called the school and apologized or whatever and she has accepted his apology for what that is worth. >> a lot of people laughed at that joke. >> i get the feeling -- >> nervous. >> i am not sure a surprising number of hearty laughter. >> i would have done this. >> you know what the worst part was? it was the laughter of like somebody had to say it. >> that was the kind of laughter i was getting. >> how many times has he been re-elected. >> 23 times. >> is this low income -- i mean low information? low fox voters ? >> do you think we read that deep into the stories?

>> i think you need to move on to the next block. >> what is his name? thank you, andy. coming up, shall i compare thee to a summer's day? it is not a story, just a note john scott left under my door. i think it was written in blood. is the united nations full of diplomats under the influence? we will get the dl on this un-dui

they are less than enamored when ambassadors get hammered. they are calling for drunk diplomats calling for u.n drunk negotiations. they have a tradition of having a few drinks before the meetings. it often lasts several days in

a row. they said they should be an inebriation zone. it has been long part of the process and according to one delicate it is not just applicants that do it, but there is nothing new about this. >> god i wish we could discuss this in something we call -- >> lightning rooooooouuuunnnnddd. lightning round. isn't this a case of catching up? they were doing this years ago and these guys thought, we are new, so why can't we use booze to negotiate too. it is all 1950's and they have separate laws. it took them until 2008 and the whole thing going mad to ban smoking in the u.n. quite frankly they have a three martini lunch and you

expect so in those surroundings. >> they run their countries as though it is back in time and they live in new york as if it is back this time. is this different from musicians doing business in a bar before they go on stage some. >> that hurts me, greg. >> that was a fair comparison. >> yes. i have been misconstrued. these are the people who elected libya to the human rights council. and i think it is like let them get drunk. they can't really do anything. they can't screw people in mass when they are doing -- get them ladies of horizontal refresh meant. go in there -- it is like when our congress goes out on vacation. they don't hurt us. >> the more vacation they take -- >> the better off our country is. >> the better we are.

do you think this is people behaving differently when they are away from their home city and they are having fun? >> probably, but it doesn't help matters much. >> i am condemning it, by the way. >> on record. >> you are condemning the u.n. >> it is not unexpected. we went to scores. >> are you lying. >> that's how libya got on the committee. >> it is -- it does help explain the toothlessness of the u.n if they are all drunk all the time. it gave them an excuse, right? >> it goes back to larry's point. i would rather have them toothless than tiewtful. than toothful. bill, you live near the u.n on a street corner covered in your own fillet -- filth as they step over you. >> you know, the real loser in

this, the u.n becomes sober and it is the local sex workers. the one thing you can say about east midtown is -- it is dirty, dirty with hookers. it is an upscale area, but they are everywhere. and the problem with the sober u.n. guy is they weren't able to railroad them. so yes of course it will go to the hookers. it goes without saying, but they won't be able to charge as much. >>- q. i what are those cross streets? >> i would say go on snaf expo leave it at that. >> you know what the problem with this story is and the inning -- and the thing that bothers us all? we are paying them to get drunk. that is what angers me. they are having more fun than i am on my dime. and i hate the u.n. >> why are you looking with me? >> maybe immogen disagrees.

>> i think it is terrible. >> he thinks it is terrible. >> we will take a break. how about that? >> don't think of leaving now. we have another story or two. don't forget to buy the joy of hate. go to any bookstore and order from amazon.com. for an autographed copy go to g gutfeld.com. you can still get them.

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told you about the maryland boy who was suspended for nibbling the pop tart pastry into the shape of a gun. now they are offering help for those who were troubled. it urges parents to encourage their kids to share feelings about the whole thing. larry, could you argue this counseling does more harm than good. >> absolutely. are you the one who coined the phrase the woosification of america? since you mentioned my name in the back of the book. this is the stupidest thing i ever heard. i had a bumper sticker and i was a young kid and it said my bully boy can beat up your

honor student. i was you are cred. i needed -- dash i was crushed. get a life. that's all i can say. >> thoughts? >> somebody pulled a gun on me in venezuela. it was a real gun. it looked like something from a cartoon. honestly he didn't really mean anything, but we had to remove him from the classroom. they don't feel it necessary to even say why this would be necessary. it is just like self-evident that any representation would make a kid mentally disturbed. >> it equalized good kids and bad kids. now thig that looks and smells like a gun or pop tart shaped like a gun. >> it is a hello kitty-type gun. i think at the moment you can understand why schools are incredibly sensitive. i will cut them a bit of slack. >> i think they have gone too far.

>> it is not just about guns. it is everything. if it doesn't fit their -- i love you. you love me. ♪ everybody is happy ♪ stop gun violence >> he did that on the andy williams show. last word to you. could it be pop tarts are a deadly weapon. >> if the kid is hypoglycemic, for sure. you might be misconstruing this entire thing. perhaps they are not counseling the kids because of the guy's pop tart. perhaps they are counseling the kid for how f-ed up the reaction is. yes, we are that screwy and are you okay with that? it could be that. >> fair point. jay we have to close thout. that was an exciting discussion. >> it was really great. >> you know what is next? the post game wrap up with an day levey.

fox news.com/red eye. i hate that sweater.