we used to own space, my friends. we conquered it. now, we're hitchhiking our way back. weird. >> four boosters.... >> dana: hello, i'm dana perino along with our panel. it's 5:00 in new york city. this is "the five." >> dana: it was day four of washington free week on the drive. we're going to begin with columnist's call to end military funeral honors for vets. bill mcclellan writes, quote, most veterans did nothing heroic it seems generous enough to provide veterans and spouses with free spaces at a national cemetery. everybody knows government needs to get costs. let's play taps for an

unnecessary program. he happens to be a veteran himself serving in vietnam. we got the first clip. >> why don't we let the vfw and marine corps league take care of this. that was the point of the column. the way you cut a budget is you take little programs that might be nice that you don't need and you trim bigger ones. it has been taken a despicable attack on veterans. i think it's almost amazing. >> dana: greg, i could see his point of view if you are looking across the budget to find things to cut as a veteran himself, he is saying maybe this is something we should deal with. it's $45 million program a year. >> greg: obviously if you are monster for suggesting that. as long as these guys keep creating taliban military funerals, they should go for it but having that, i hate to

because its bad phrase. maybe it's better to give them things when they are alive? maybe it's more tax breaks and better pensions than the funerals, but what strikes me about this, i don't know if i'm the right person to distinguish if you are in line of duty or if you are an equipment officer in new jersey, is there a difference? you are both for the war effort. i don't know if i'm equipped to say who is important important than the other. i would be interested in the viewers at home that are vets how do they feel about it. it's not my place to say they can't do it because they served the country. i get his point. he is a veteran and he has every right to discuss it. >> dana: i think that is why we're leading with it on the show today. bob, we talked a lot about

veterans last week. vietnam vets and cbs apologized, is it really too much to ask that america could survive military honors for people that volunteered service or drafted, is it too much to ask that $45 million a year to pay for this. especially the rate of death of world war ii veterans is so high. >> bob: there is 860,000 backlogged veterans appeals to the veterans administration which is outrageous. with all due respect to this marine, the fact is everybody had a does heroic acts on the field, behind them there are people that are doing things to get them in the position to do heroic acts. you need to supply troops in the field. you need to have medics that are there. so, i don't see the distinction. if you are a part of a group of

veterans no matter what you do, some are more heroic than others but only heroes. >> dana: how do you define a hero? >> eric: so we spend hundred billion dollars a year on food stamps. we spend $260 billion a year on disability payments, that number is skyrocketing as dana pointed out. the numbers are off the charts. $45 million for people that risk their lives, he makes a distinction for people that see action and that don't but as bob points out there is lot of satisfaction. they should be held to the highest esteem. they are offering their service to the country in the name of freedom, we should give them that. we should give them more. what we should do is take some money on the b.s. things we do and dig down into why people are coming back from service and committing suicide. >> dana: with ptd sd.

>> andrea: yeah, i mean if you look at some of useless bureaucrats in is office, we spend $271 billion a year on civilian workers. what about taking that number right off the top and using that to pay for this? you could actually ask the veterans, maybe make it optional. >> dana: some attempts do do that. >> andrea: i think it's the least we can do. now that we are cutting some health benefits. i agree every bit of spending counts. it's only $43 million because we made a stink about more than that. if i look at the money, moroccan pottery classes, $27 million. coburn's waste book and food tasting menu planning on mars, robotics and sidewalks to nowhere and compile those.

>> bob: don't go after my moroccan program. [ laughter ] >> bob: i got a letter from a vietnam veteran that was very moving. he said in there. we lost 59,000 soldiers in vietnam. the numbers that were contemplating suicide were in the tens of thousands. >> eric: it's an epidemic. >> bob: and they need psychological help instead of backlogs of claims by the vets. >> eric: and it would be good for the media to shine a light on the story. >> dana: my thoughts are, if we had a strong and growing economy and if washington has the guts to do entitlement reforms to preserve those programs in the rest of the budget we wouldn't have to have the discussion whether we should provide military honors for our veteran. okay, i'm going to go back.

can i redeem myself with the next story. do you like dodge ball at all. >> bob: i don't. i dodge ball, you get the big dudes and taking out some little guy and winging the thing. it would be like eric. >> dana: let me tell you why. in new hampshire, live flee or die state, believe it or not, they have voted in a school district four to one to ban dodge ball and any other human target activities. is it right? aren't we all targets. >> greg: the ban operates on the assumption that dodge ball was imposed by other kids when all kids joining in on this who love it. that is modern left looks at things. they see equation suppression. people with balls and without

balls and the guy with the ball is throwing it at somebody else. >> but women play too. >> greg: they enjoy it and like targeting. where did this idea come from? the parents don't care. it's from the campuses where the teachers come from. we worry about binge drinking we should be worried about binge leftism. eliminating the idea of achievement and idea of competition and replacing with this feel good nonsense that is really destroying our country. seriously, where would this idea came from? it came from the campuses. >> andrea: because they push equal outcomes. they say everybody needs to finish in the same place. it's really from the white house trickle down. i particularly got anxiety from dodge ball because i hated getting hit with the ball. that means the teams switch but

what do the schools do? this is team sport. now, they continue like team sport. they banned hugging and banned dodge ball, every sport someone has to be better than the other person, football, baseball. >> dana: you were good at it. >> eric: dodge ball, there are people that strive to win. there are people that sit in the back and wait to get hit. >> you have to take the risk. >> eric: it's a lesson in life. i don't know -- if you want to be on the winning team. try to catch the ball and knock out the best player on the other team. >> bob: just because you were a baseball player. everyone wants equal outcomes and girls can play which i'm

very m against. >> its communist society. >> we are actually being bullied by the anti-bullying crusade. they are looking at everything as an excuse to do things, oh, my god, that is bullying. the great thing, they never admit they were bullies. that is where this could s coming from. a celebrity that claims to be anti-bullying probably still shouts at his driver. >> bob: i was a bully. dana had an idea this morning, why don't we have the dodge ballgame between the five of us. and you will take your arm and guarantee you -- that is exactly right. >> do you think football is bullying? you are going after the target. >> you know why they are not going to ban football? they make money and it trickles down. there is no money in dodge ball.

>> bullies are the leftists trying to destroy our country by pulling every kind of exceptional behavior that makes our country great, they trying to remove that and turn it into a communist country and we need to impeach obama. >> do you think they would ban dodge ball? >> no, they would enforce dodge ball. >> now what kind of balls they use? f balls. >> why don't they use cotton balls. >> bob: look. greg thinks the entire left because of dodge ball. you do it -- the toilet paper runs out. its left wing conspiracy. >> greg: do you think toilet paper bullying. >> bob: if you don't have it.

>> they feel pain. >> you know this segment was going to right down the toilet. and sean penn's's son went nuts with his dad on his side and it was all caught on tape. greg has it next on "the five". ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ appy. and even fewer that make moms happy too. with wholesome noodles and bite sized chicken, nothing brings you together like chicken noodle soup from campbell's. it's amazing what soup can do.

♪ ♪ ♪ bad, you know i'm bad ♪ so i'm bad i'm bad >> greg: so the troll doesn't fall far from the tree. sean penn's son was saying racial slurs at photographer. behold those to bow hold.

>> are you kidding me [ bleep ]. >> don't ever dude that bleed bleed. >> that is your kid [ bleep ], [ bleep ], [ bleep ] >> greg: they issued a statement saying, quote, i was accosted by paparazzi and made feel like an animal but it doesn't condone my own actions, i deeply regret my words. you can't completely blame sean. that is not the point. where is the news coverage? let's play a game that i like to call piers. >> if it were. >> greg: if it were a conservative kid. dennis miller or sean hannity,

they would be burned alive. their offspring can't get away with stuff that destroys careers. luckily for sean, he didn't have career but he will get one soon because his dad is sean penn. oh, hollywood where they can call a black men the "n" word and charlton heston is mocked by a canadian comic, hollywood must all be racist clinging to your latees and priuses. >> you know what, dana, like to saying these words. they rolled out of him. >> i thought his excuse was be his character. he was performing for a roll. the thing that bothers me, too, is that the apology is backhanded apology. he basically then -- he made an

excuse for it by saying, i was accosted. >> greg: no, he wasn't. you weren't treated like an animal. eric, you have a 14-year-old son. you would be vilified. >> eric: oh, yeah. you know why if he said something like that, he probably heard it at home and he felt comfortable saying it. this is hypothetical, my point is, sean penn's son said it because he said it before. he heard sean penn say it in the past. you are a product of your home. >> greg: is that an apology enough. >> andrea: i think it's ironic his name is hopper. his name is hopper, i can't believe his photographer kept his cool. i can't believe he didn't knock

him out. his father is an enemy of the first amendment. he is an insufferable near system sift that tries to control the press. his son is the same way. when he is in haiti or louisiana after the hurricane and he on a boat with a gun, that is when he wants.... >> dana: or how about cuba or venezuela. >> andrea: clearly his son feels comfortable saying those things in front of his father. i would never say anything like that or be disrespectful in front of my parents. >> unless you knew you were going to get in trouble. >>. >> greg: i wanted to talk about this great video from resent magazine. a rebuttal to jim carrey's video by a guy name remy. its response to anti-gun song.

i think it is good. take it away ♪ sometimes stars get on guards when they make a million ♪ ♪ and then call you heartless mother [ bleep ] ♪ ♪ you want the same, is it the same ♪ ♪ and smallpox they no longer kill en masse ♪ ♪ because of vaccinations they are a thing of the past ♪ ♪ but you tell parents to skip them and the science you contrast ♪ ♪ because just like in your movie ♪ ♪ your talking out your [ bleep ] ♪ >> it takes a talking [ bleep ] and vaccination ♪ ♪ when your ph.d. isn't making funny faces ♪ >> that is pretty good. >> bob: that is very good.

and hopper is a porn star. >> named after dennis hopper. >> bob: i thought hopper the hot man. that is a porn movie. >> do you think anyone in our audience knows what you are talking about. >> bob: i hope they do. carrey asked for this, let's see how he responds to this. ever since you jumped on to this one big hard jump. i have been thinking about it all along. i think the guy doesn't get it. >> greg: i want to show you a tweet. clearly he is going through a meltdown and whenever you have capital letters mixed with lower case, that means like -- he is 50 years old -- he is turning into a six-year-old girl. look how he spells bodyguard. he has a bodyguard with a gun.

he is now i think lost his mind. >> dana: conservatives best tool is ridicule. the only way you can get back at them because nobody in the media is talking how ridiculous jim carrey is. they ridiculed him and he couldn't take it. >> bob: is that how you spell bodyguard. [ laughter ] >> million buckers? you could have done that. >> i don't think he is losing his mind. i think he lost it a long time ago. he just seems a little off. >> greg: they call ego depletion. when it goes away. >> andrea: he thought he was going to get it on twitter or show up tonight show with giant feet. it is ego. >> bob: somebody give eric some coffee. >> greg: watch it on our

facebook page, log on facebook page and coming up, one of the fastest runners in the world and murder suspect. yet the judge still gave oscar pistorius his passport back. was this a good idea? we'll debate it next. ♪ don't do me like that ♪ don't do it me like that ♪ what i mean baby, don't do it like that ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

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instructions that would allow him to leave the country to compete in racing. i can't believe they would ease bail to let him leave south africa and do what he does best, race like nothing has happened before they figure out if he has murdered his ex-girlfriend. >> it's crazy. >> bob: he has to return his passport within five hours of leaving the country. he won't be able to get away. he is pretty recognizable. there is no flight risk and that is what they base their judgment on. i mean the overwhelming evidence against him. i think they want to keep him in jail. they changed their mind on bail. >> bob: what do you mean a flight risk. you have a guy that can run faster in the world on blades. you let that guy out there. i like greg's idea of reversing

the blades. are you kidding me? if that was in the united states the guy wouldn't get outside of his home if he got that far. >> you could recognize him anywhere. >> only 19% of defendants here were even allowed bail. so we have very different rules. i guess his girlfriend's family is not happy with it. >> greg: in order to give him an opportunity to run, they are giving him an opportunity to run. he could escape and his story as more holes than a pee wee golf course. it shows you order in order to gain the system it helps to be the celebrity. nobody would have this ability to get out of this, but selection open up doors that don't exist for anyone else. maybe he is going to visit o.j. or amanda knox.

>> or got the ad from nike that basically be a sosmgs you from everything. maybe that is the thinking. and i thought back to the how devastated he pretended to be in trial that day in court when he first had to show up. i can't imagine he has the strength or the ability to be able to run and >> andrea: they are going to let return to the house where he murdered her which was very odd. but his manager says there are no plans for him to run, however he may need the money. >> dana: they are going to make i am. >> andrea: of course. he is going to run. >> bob: the girls' parents are suing him which i'm glad to see what do you call that -- civil court. you can't prejudge. maybe he is innocent until proven guilty but the odds are he is going to be guilty.

the judge probably loves the guy. this is big thing. oscar pi for just in my courtroom. >> greg: the judge's name is burt bam, i love that name. >> bam like from comic books. looks like the family got special treatment because the judge adjourned his brother's titled, i think it's for manslaughter. so the lawyer for the family could focus on oscar. they are getting a lot of special treatment. >> dana: it's no wonder, even as i read the media, the majority of people in south africa thinks it's going to benefit them and benefits white people over black. their problems in that country are so deep. >> bob: i would like a black person and see if they could get out of the country. >> how would you be feeling

right now. >> eric: pretty betrayed. he probably will get away somewhere and he'll make a lot of money. we do that here, too. >> like daniel ortega, might invite him or fidel castro. some dictator will invite him to come. straight ahead, it's spring break for college students across the country and you know what that means. the fake ids are out in full force and binge drinking is on. is it time to lower the drinking age? that is up next on "the five." ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ lesser-known counterpart. conquer them with the exhilarating is 250. get great values

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how old is the oldest person you've known? we gave people a sticker and had them show us. we learned a lot of us have known someone who's lived well into their 90s. and that's a great thing. but even though we're living longer, one thing that hasn't changed: the official retirement age. ♪ the question is how do you make sure you have the money you need to enjoy all of these years. ♪

i'm chris wallace big story today is president obama's push for stricker gun laws. special report tonight. it's been 104 days at sandy hook elementary. we'll look at the status of the gun control agenda. same-sex marriage has grabbed headlines amid what appears to be a cultural shift, as big money behind the movement. we'll explain. part four of our week long what to cut series looks at the prospect of privatizing fannie mae and freddie mac. an image of world stage in president obama's first term. how does the rest of the world see the u.s.? on the grapevine, remember the police officer giving boots to a homeless person, wait until you hear new information that changes everything. special report from washington starts at 6:00 eastern. now back to "the five." ♪ ♪ ♪

you can marry at 18 and vote and die for your country but you will have to wait until you are 21 to have a beer at ballgame. i say it's high time we lower the age to 18 for everybody. i mean states should disregard the feds and do it on their own. andrea, what do you think of the drinking age, 21 in america. >> andrea: i don't like the way the government got to the drinking age in the '80s. raise your drinking age or you don't get any highway funds. it was like the godfather that makes an offer you basically can't refuse. i don't know. i disagree with you on this. if you ask 18-year-old andrea she would have agreed with you. i don't know. i think the harder you make it to get hands on alcohol the more careful they are.

i know i was. my mom said, want to drink, okay get drunk in the house under our roof. call me in the morning. >> supervised drinking, bob, i know you have a lot to say but hold the thought. be sure. >> eric: why stop at 18? >> military exemption, if you join the military, it goes to 18. if you serve the country you should be able to cost. if you can fight for the country you can have a drink. number two, drinking classes, you need an experienced tipper like myself and teach them how to drink responsibly. people drink to get drunk. that is about sitting around and enjoying a cocktail. i offer my apartment. i have a drinking age of 18 and

i offer classes. they are free. i would say start with 18. drink at 18, but i think it's an injustice to the military. >> eric: how old should you be to smoke pot? >> greg: i don't know, 21. i can't remember. >> dana: you said 16, 17, 18. think about this at 26 you can still be on your parents' health insurance in america. so the same people, we are so liberal, you should be able to drink at 18, we would love it if you lived in our basement and be on our health insurance until 26. it doesn't make sense. by the time you are 18, from a human evolution standpoint, by 18 you should be self-sufficient. so i am okay with lowering the drinking age. >> bob: i'm still getting over the fact that your dog sleeps in

your bed with a pillow. that is what you told us at a break. let me make a point here. it's easy to say all these things. when the drinking age went from 18 to 21 the number of people that were killed in drunk driving crashes went down. we went through this whole thing about spring break. we want to make it more legal so more kids absorb enough alcohol to kill themselves? da brit starts drinking when they were three. he is is a good guy. >> dana: we're not europe though. >> bob: mothers against drunk driving have a point, if you lower it. >> just ban drinking. >> i had to do that for myself. >> 18, 19, they are drinking anyway. >> all the time i spent to get a fake i.d. and where to buy

booze, but i wasn't drinking. i was spending too much time to get booze. >> greg: it's such a great rite of passage. the guy didn't look at all like me. he was like 40. [ laughter ] >> eric: you save lives and ban it, you will save more lives. >> bob: the fact is younger you are the higher percentage of accidents you are. >> greg: that is like drinking classes. >> bob: the problem is no men to come. [ laughter ] >> eric: lets the states decide. >> you don't think the same thing on legalization of marijuana? >> i do think states, but i'm against the legalization of marijuana but it's a state issue. >> eric: what would you do if your co-workers won the lottery but one person, bob, in the audience, in the pool didn't play, put his money in.

would you split the pot with bob anyway? what would we do? you'll find out directly. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ take me on out of this town ♪ freight train, take me on out of this town ♪

♪ ♪ don't you step on my blue suede shoes ♪ ♪ you can do anything but step on my blue suede shoes ♪ >> bob: think about this one for a second. if you hit the jackpot would you split your winnings in a pool to someone that didn't pay for a ticket? they didn't pitch into the pool. after the co-workers won a million bucks, they decided to share it with her. >> she said it wasn't a good time for her to spend $20 on the lotto. i told her if you don't play we're going to win? >> honestly, i didn't have the money. i needed $20 to spend on something else. >> laurie, why did you share the

money with her? >> that is how we do everything. she is part of our family and part of the team. we all win together or we losing to the. be sure you do. first of all. she was offered the $20 to get into the pool and secondly, the are going to give some money. we don't know how much. if the five of us played. we all pitched in and we won. i wouldn't give eric any. [ laughter ] >> bob: i would take his share. what would you do. >> eric: you would steal my share? >> bob: i can take your money. >> obviously they were nice people. they have a lot of etiquette. however, i do think like the dodge ball, you don't want anyone's feelings to get hurt but she made a decision and she should have to live with the consequences. >> greg: i think all lottery

winners should share with everyone including people who don't play the lottery. you need to spread the wealth around that is not greedy. if you hold on to it -- i'm lying. this is the dumbest thing i've ever heard. no spouse would agree. you told your spouse, you know what i'm going to share with co-workers that did didn't play. she would kill you. she would be right to kill you. [ laughter ] >> bob: there is generous joe the plumber -- whatever. go ahead, what about you. would you share it? you are sharing kind of person. >> andrea: do i like the co-worker or is the co-worker is a jerk? if the co-worker is a nice person and they didn't put in the money because they were sick not at work that day or fallen on hard times i would kick them a little. i wouldn't give them a million dollars but maybe couple

thousand. >> eric: they split million and 80 grand each. who knows, whatever it is. if this were a hundred million dollars or $200 million. do you think this chick would get a piece of that pie? i doubt it. >> andrea: maybe they would give her $500. >> eric: but when the money gets bigger and bigger. >> i would show up with brand-new shoes every day. >> bob: this is real state office. the most competitive dirty dogs in the world. they cut each other's throats. >> if she is nice person. >> the woman, the realtor we all share. >> lottery requires that you play the lottery in order to win. you go to the blackjack table, somebody hits 21, maybe you should give me some. you pay to play. >> i don't know the people at

blackjack table. >> greg: not yet anyway. >> eric: joe the plumber. >> you were pretending -- you have to spread the wealth around. >> greg: i forget. >> bob: all right. one more thing is up next. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ e carful? how about...by the bowlful? campbell's soups give you nutrition, energy, and can help you keep a healthy weight. campbell's. it's amazing what soup can do. would absolutely not have taken a zip line in the jungle. i'm really glad that girl stayed at home. vo: expedia helps 30 million travelers a month find what they're looking for. one traveler at a time. expedia. find yours.

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♪ ♪ ♪ time for one more thing. >> andrea: this very special story. one tennessee teen, caitlin norman found out she had terminal cancer she made a bucket list and on the list was to go to the prom. but she is too sick to go to the prom. all of her fellow students decided to bring the prom to her. they visited her in the hospital room and brought her gifts. i think it's so nice for kids to do this thing. >> bob: what is not a nice story there a vietnam veteran's memorial in coos bay, oregon and freedom have religion wants it closed down because there is a cross on it. i'm not going to blow my head, you guys give him a break?

what does it matter to you. if they want a memorial -- anyway, that has a cross on top, go put another one up. >> you defended bozos freedom from religion. you defended that group. that was the group. do you remember when they were trying to get the manger scene in texas in front of courthouse. >> bob: i have never said that. >> you are pro christian, i get that. that group, evil people. >> sorry, greg. >> i get a personal phone call on the cellphone from senator rand paul. he wants to talk about president obama's big speech today. so, promo up tonight, hannity at 9:00 and rand paul is going the

talk. i'm trying to get him to say the "f" word, when and if he is going to do a filibuster. >> i think you brought the washington rule. you are granted a pass. >> bob: you are going to host it. that is the other thing. >> dana: i want to do a little tribute to my mom, tomorrow is her last day of work. that is jan perino. she has a list a mile long of all the things she is going to do in retirement and earlier i posted the interview of my mom for tips of all the things she learned. she deserves a great retirement. long time, 45 years of working. greg? >> greg: she must really be let down. >> dana: why? >> greg: anyway. [ laughter ] >> greg: just kidding.

bad phrase. it's been a great ride. i hate this phrase. people say this after they get fired or they leave a job. only people that can say it's been a great ride if they have been in a chariot or on the matterhorn but don't say it about anything else. >> who said it recently. >> greg: i said it when dennis asked me how was it going and i said it's been a great ride. then i cringed. >> bob: how many do we have. >> 463. >> bob: my vocabulary extends to about 700 words in english. [ laughter ] >> bob: would you please -- i can't use most of those. can you please stop this? >> greg: my goal is to eliminate all language and we communicate by grunts are. >> we can sit around stare and each over. >> greg: so the future is to