idea. that's all i got. >> dana: that's it. we'll see you tomorrow. special report is hum up next. >> welcome to "red eye." it is like the spy who loved me if you meant the spy who loved me while i passed out in the backseat. let's go to andy levy with our pre game report. what is up, jerk? >> thanks, white t-shirt, v-neck guy barely peeking out of the sweater. did the family of the boston marathon bombing suspect receive $100,000 in taxpayer funded assistance? i hope so because we are saying they did. and president obama says it is time to readvice the the an make of gitmo, but does he that happen? and a new hampshire man loses his life savings on a carnival game, but walks away with a

giant banana with dreadlock. a fair and balanced look at who got the better deal. >> weren't you a giant banana with dreadlock this high school? >> i never had the dreadlock. >> yes, you did. >> the mistake you are making is because i was appealing. >> okay, we will start the show over again. are you okay with that? let's welcome our guests. well, she treats getting men off like it is her job because it is. i am here with criminal defense attorney remi spencer. you can smile all you want. you are a killer. if comedic genius was a boogie board i would ride him in shallow water. it is comedian tom coder. and my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz dressed like billy gene king. and mike baker, former cia operative and current president of diligence, makers of diligence earmuffs, diligence tooth picks and diligence playing cards. diligence, even we don't know what we do.

>> a block. the lede. that's the first story. you're about to witness the last desperate gasp of western civilization of america. hope you are happy. >> getting weirder and weirder. did the car that you value go to far-nival? a new hampshire man claims he lost $2600, aka his life savings , on a carnival game and ending up with nothing but a giant, stuffed banana with dreadlock. in other words ending up with everything. henry says he was trying to win a video game system by playing tubs of fun, my nickname in college, and the game was easy during practice, but mysteriously became impossible once he was playing for the prize. he says he quickly lost $300 at the $5 game and then went home to get another $2300. sounds to me like he got

caught up in the old double or nothing i gotta win my money back trap. >> because you get caught up in the whole double or nothing i have to win my money back. >> yes. he also says it is not possible that it wasn't rigged. >> it is not possible that it wasn't rigged. >> yes. he says he went back the next day and was given $600 and the amazing rasta banana, and now he has filed a report with the manchester police. how can he do that? angry that for once in his life he happened to become that sucker ssments. >> for once in my life i happen to be that sucker. >> i know everything this man said. speaking of tubs of fun -- >> have a shake.

>> so adorable and they taste delicious when they get older. i just look at them and i say yum, bacon. tom, welcome back. >> thank you. >> welcome back coder, i love it. >> you haven't heard that one before, have you? >> never. >> this guy owns the coolest rasta banana in the world. what is he complaining about? maybe he should. i don't know. >> $2600, his life savings which is pathetic. the guy running the tilt-a-whirl has more money. you lose things when you go to a carnival. dignity, teeth, spleen, virginity. i don't want to talk about it. very sad. i think he could use $100,000 in uh sis tense from the federal -- assistance from the federal government. >> teasing our next story, tom. i don't know if i'm okay with that. baker, welcome back. it has been a couple days. glad you changed your clothes. this is quite possibly one of the greatest alligories of all

time. i am not sure what an alligory is, but it sounds awesome. >> it is quite the analogy and quite the metaphor. >> i don't understand what kind of posh carnival this guy attends that he is playing a $5 game. when you are kids -- well i haven't been to a carnival in awhile because i won't let me kids near them, but i remember spending $5 for the whole evening and that was including a corn dog. >> that was in 1947. >> that is true. they were better then. >> they were. >> let me think about that. well that was my point. $5 a game, what -- who does this? he gets some money back and so he is a lucky guy. >> that's what i don't understand. remi, you are a lawyer, or so you claim. we don't have any proof. but how is this guy able to get money back? i don't think he deserves a dime. and then he says he will complain to the police? >> i agree. i agree he doesn't deserve a

dime. he is probably more persuasive than most lawyers i know because he certainly wasn't entitled to his money back. it reminds me of the albert brooks movie "lost in america" where he convinces or tries to convince the casino manager to give him back his money his wife lost. you don't get your money back. if you gamble you lose your money. that's what he did. >> however, it seems to me there is a conventional assumption that all of these games are rigged. as a lawyer you probably researched this when you went to law school, carnival games. second year? >> i specialized in this area of study when i was in-law school. >> that's what i thought. you did. >> i did. >> are they rigged? >> they are. >> i have to tell you i spent two years undercover with the agency as a carni. i was known as the bearded, naked midget. some of the games are rigged. some aren't. i think you can't make that

assumption based on my experience. >> do you know which ones are rigged? the ring over the milk bottle is rigged. >> you know there is a saying that the house always wins. look at las vegas to see how much money they make from sucker gamblers. that's exactly what he was. he left the fair where he went with his child apparently to have a fun day at the fair. he left and went home to get his life savings and go back and continue playing this game. come on. he has a problem that has nothing to do with the fair. >> what, having a kid? i know, what a pain in the ass. just tell the kid -- bill if you lost your life savings it would be a few pieces of string. >> coming up -- >> i don't know. why the appeal, bill, of carnival games? you are just like me. you walk in there and the glitter and the glamour and the sex appeal, it overtakes you.

>> and the only thing you walk out with is hepititis every time. >> it is from the carnival hooker. >> yes. well there is more than one, there is b, c, d, f, blue and she is weird. there are two winners. and it is not just the carni guy that took this guy. it is the producer who convinced this guy to put the wife beater on and take the banana and put it on the stroller and stroll around for two or three hours and going like this. who ever that local guy that got him to do that, that guy deserves a peabody. just take the giant banana and just stroll around your dilapidated block for awhile. and do this with your fist. and that guy did it. >> it doesn't look dilapidated. >> you have been to too many carnis. >> can we focus on the rasta banana? i will have andy do a little research between the a and c block, but that is a

combination of elements. you have a source of protein from a tree and hair. >> and i think marijuana was involved. he has $2600 worth of tattoo on his body. that is the part that kills me. he went as you said and came back after collecting his life savings. i can't believe he didn't stop somewhere along the way and say please help me. i am about to make a crucial error in my life. >> i don't think it was well thought out. >> a maxwell house cup full of money. >> he went all the way home and then realized it was duct taped to his belly. jeez, i forgot i did that when i was drunk last night. i will duct tape my life savings to my belly and win the giant bough fan banana -- banana. then he forgot about it and went there and came home -- question remi? i love this story so much i refuse to let go. the carnival operator says it is run by an independent

contractor . i don't really have a question. >> i told you it was rigged. >> i love that if you call anything an independent contractor it sounds important. it is a guy with a pocket knife and a mustache. >> let's be clear about what independent contractor means. it means 1099, no liability insurance, no expenses, an easy way to get people to work for you with no responsibility. >> they are all like carnis, they will kill new your sleep with a piano string. anyway, i guess we should move on. from ferris wheels to slime me deals. before their crime they were on our dime. to further prove america is the land of the scam, the boston herald reports that the marathon bombers represented here by crude drawings of dog poop and and their parents benefited for more than $100,000 in taxpayer funded assistance including cash and housing from 2002 to 2012.

massachusetts has handed over hundreds of documents to an over sight committee and a source tells the herald, quote, the bredth of the benefit the family was receiving was stunning. the question is why? isn't that right dog who says why? >> why, why, why, why. why, why, why. >> wow. >> that was amazing. you know what is funny about this story is that it is not funny, baker? >> ya. >> i have to actually make myself not care about this because i will actually self-radicalize. everybody talks about this self-radicalization of these people. this story could self-radicalize me to become a crazed a-hole because 100f-ing grand went to them. i don't know what i will do when i radicalize. i will go and make a

sandwich. you know what i mean. >> a lot of radicals, that's what they do first. >> make a sandwich? >> yes, they make a hogie or something. i am different. i don't need this information to hate them more. quite frankly this is the system we created. this is the bough he -- bough dash bohemouth we created. they didn't come over and say we are doing this and this. they manipulated the system we created and allowed to happen. there are a lot of people out there doing this. >> it is almost like america is the fairgrounds and it is rigged against up -- against us for the customers coming in. >> tom, thoughts on this. >> nausea. vomiting, irritable bowel syndrome. >> i can't stand these people. it uh febded me more because they really did -- it offended me more because they did milk the system. he will get tuition

assistance. that's where i used to be. it is so gnaws yaiting on every level. i can't stand it. >> the thing i hate, outrage, remi, but i keep thinking -- this is worth it. this is real. there is nothing we can do about this. we can sit here and get angry about it. but there is -- it is going to happen again and again and people will rip us off and take our money and use it against us. >> there is always going to be fraud. whatever system -- whatever we are talking about there is always going to be a percentage of people who are going to take advantage of the system. we hope that we have enough safeguards and checks in place to minimize that kind of waste or loss. that is the question, really. i agree with mike. i don't think it makes me hate them more. i'm not sure i can hate them more, but they are receiving government assistance in the absence of any object fiable data they were terrorists in

the making. it is not surprising. that's the problem with this story. we need to find a better way to ferret out and create the safeguards in our system much earlier than this. we shouldn't be looking back at an over sight committee. we need something earlier. >> let loose ferrets on them. they are actually rabbit -- rabid fer writs. put him in a room and let the ferrets eat him alive. how did you work out that arrangement? >> it is an investment. if you look at the pin wheel market over time it always goes up. you have to be a long-term investor. >> buy and hold. buy and hold. >> how long have you held on to your pin wheel? >> i forgot where i put them. once i do find them -- this is $100,000 going over a family of five for 10 years.

in 2002 i don't think they were yet radicalized. is it good some no, it is not good. it is not awful. it went to the parents. it never went to these two. the parents while probably not great people have not beep accused of anything. this is not illegal. this is the system we have and a lot was over the bush administration. >> that's what i'm saying. i am saying is sucks and i put it in the context of the earned income tax credit, disability fraud, food stamp fraud and pigford which has been approved. that's what andrew bright bart was trying to get people to listen to. they were talking about it for hours. and then it turns out he was right. billions and billions and billions spent on welfare fraud and everything. this is the pot of gold for everybody. it is worth filling that gold with our pot. >> i am all of a sudden interested. >> i am not making a urine

joke. >> we are filling the gold with a rasta banana. >> it is sewn together of the. all right, we have to take a break. coming up, what is it like to be a handsome, former cia agent? mike baker discusses his new book, you will never know, you ugly jerks. fyi, i am banging all of your old ladies. >> why would you do that? you will not be able to market that. that won't go at barnes and nobel. they are not putting that on the shelves. >> talk to me before you write a book. >> all right, will obama finally get to closing gitmo? yes when he opens it on a bigger island to hold more terrorists. i didn't expect that.

he has come back around to shutting it down. obama is at it again saying gitmo has to go. the president promised to revisit the issue amid a widespread hunger strike at the de teption camp. does he dash cash detention camp. is it critical to understand that guantanamo is not necessary to keep america safe? that it is expensive? that it is inefficient? >> it is critical for us to understand that guantanamo is not necessary to keep america safe. it is expensive. it is inefficient. >> does he also think it hurts us in terms of our international standing and lessons cooperation with our allies on counter terrorism efforts that it is a recruitment tool for extremists and needs to be closed? >> it hurts us in terms of our international standing. it lessens cooperation with our allies on the counter terrorism efforts. it is a recruitment tool for

extremists. it needs to be closed. >> for more let's go live to this turtle. >> that reminds me of prom night when i woke up next to a turtle. i was in the bushes. what can i say? tom if we close this what is going to happen to those people? nobody wants them. >> i know. actually there is an island in the south pacific that says they will take them when they are divided. gilligan and the professor and

mr. howe agree. they will star of themselves to death if they can't blow themselves up which is hysterical. close it. send it them on their way. get some snipers. that's all i am saying. jay he mentions the reasons -- >> he mentions the reasons, interest that will standing, cooperation terrorist recruitment issues which we always heard about gitmo. if you find it interesting he says that about that, but not about the millions of drones unleashed that i am for, but i think the drones would do more damage. >> you know, frankly -- >> i am not frank. >> his stature seems to be shrinking with every problem that is developing. we are getting more and more issues overseas. this guantanamo thing drives me crazy. he ran his whole campaign on guantanamo. we are going to close this place. and now he wants us to believe -- once he got into the big chair and realized it

was important it went away and he didn't have to talk about it. now they have this hunger strike and seems like a perfect way to close guantanamo. they believe it is congress. congress won't let him close it. he is just -- i don't know what the word is i am looking for i can say on the air, but this is a perfect example of the sort of person he is. i don't know where else to go with this. i am disgusted with it. >> you are disgusted. i can tell by your voice. remi, you said we should let all of the terrorists free and president obama should permanently apologize to each one. i strongly disagree and i found your opinion offensive. go ahead and talk about it or elaborate about it if you will. >> i think the word mike baker was looking for may apply to you in this instance. >> gorgeous? >> it is disingeneral wise and dishonest. i didn't say anything of the sort in the green room. he campaigned in 2008 hard on this issue. we are closing it, we are closing it.

and then poof it disappears. i don't think he is saying anything as definitive today. it is in the news and he says officially, we are going to revisit the issue. it is inconsistent and untruthful. >> maybe he will put a red line. if one of the prisonerses dies it will be his -- prisoners dies it will be his red line. >> they are dying to hear your thoughts, but only if you shoot yourself in the face. >> was it an actual firearm? looking forward to it after the show. thanks, fans. >> when he ran in 2008 it was not a republican lead congress. it is now. there is no way he can get this -- >> oh good god. you can complain about it, but it is a fact. >> you know why he is not closing gitmo? >> congress won't let him. >> he spent several years doing what obama found out is impossible to do. get somebody to take these people.

>> the best way to empty the prison? let them die from the hunger strike. >> a lot of them have never tried for anything. we don't know if they have done anything. i don't know if it is a great idea. >> i'm sorry, what? >> none of them have tried for anything and we released a bunch. >> we randomly picked them up and threw them in there. it is to fill our quota. >> some say we did just that. a guy working under cheney said just that. >> i think baker is going to kill you. >> i looked up the fact -- >> i looked up on the internet i looked it up and this is what i found. >> i don't have people that are actually working inside, but i have them making some pen pals. everything they said is true. >> by the way, isn't that not the case? what could he do without congress' approval? >> try them in front of judge judy. >> by the way, -- yemen wants 90 of them. we came up with ridiculous reasons why we can't give them

back. >> one ridiculous reason, some of the one we let go tried to kill us. >> and some haven't done anything. >> you know what the raw said do very much rate has been on these idiots? >> we should try them. >> you don't try the enemy combatants. you wait until the war is over. >> some don't know they are enemy combatants. i am not saying it is a perfect situation. i don't think obama should have made this argument. those are the road blocks in place. we can't poo-poo it. what i am saying is he is the president. he is the president and is he knows guantanamo has been important. as you said because you know more big words than i do, he is being incredibly disingeneral wise by getting out -- disingeneral us with and saying i want to close this. he is the president. he can do it if he wants to. >> he goes through the checks and balances that we had this place when our lovely founding fathers -- >> it is not about that. bush has basically saved

obama's presidency. this is bush's fourth term now. it reminds me of me trying to quit smoking and me telling my wife i am going to quit smoking. i am going to quit smoking, but i don't. that's gitmo. cigarettes are his gitmo. >> so assad uses chemical weapons and you will quit smoking? >> tobacco is a chemical weapon, guys. look at the studies. do you have a comment on the show? e-mail us, red eye at fox news.com. do you have a video of your animal doing something? no turtles. oh yes, bring the turtle. and click on submit a video and we might use it. still to come, the half time report from tv's andy levy. he is our tortoise. >> tonight's half time report is sponsored by jaguars. the large cats in central and south america that are larger and stalkier than help petereds with large spots. thanks, jaguars.

well, we will ask andy about that. let's see if we got anything wrong so far. we go to andy levy. hi, andy. >> hi, greg. >> what is wrong? >> that light is blinding. >> i got my teeth cleaned. i went to the dentist. you should try that once in awhile, going to the dentist. >> man blows life savings on carnival game. tom, you seem shocked that his life savings was $2 600.

pathetic? first of all, elitist? >> you are supposed to say much at the end, elitist much? >> i bet a lot of people's life savings are a couple thousand dollars thanks to president obama. please try to stick with the narrative. baker you said you won't let your kids near a carnival. >> yes. >> racist much? >> thank you. >> just saying. >> just saying. >> you did not just go there. >> by the way, how is it racist at a carnival? >> how can you call a guy who is in idaho who refuses to go to a carnival racist? >> carnis are a race. >> in that case i apologize. >> protected under the carni act of 1992. >> but they still can't vote and it disgusts me. >> one carni just came out.

he is the first gay carni. >> it is carni awareness. >> you said he should consider himself lucky that the operator gave him $600 and the banana. i'm sure the operator was hoping that would stop him from going to the cops had nothing to do with it. >> that's still a pretty good payoff. >> 25% of his losses back. >> out of the goodness of his heart he said i will give you some money back. >> what was the argument? nobody should have given him the money back unless they are scared he had evidence that it was rigged. >> you know i don't like talking about my carni past. let me tell you how you rig tubs of fun. i will tell you how to rig tubs of fun. it can put me in physical danger for breaking the code. >> dating carney wilson does not count?

>> please don't make fun of my past. >> well played. >> when he takes a practice shot you put a ball in the tub which weighs the tub down. the ball is more likely to stay in. and then when he goes to shoot for real you take the ball out which makes the ball less likely to stay in and more likely to bounce out. >> because it is unstable. >> that's how you rig tubs of fun. >> sounds plausible. >> if you are a carni, you will go farni, and indeed he has. >> that is the most idiotic thing you have ever said. can way assume it will be -- can we assume it will be dropped? >> you said he doesn't deserve a dime. at the same time you said the games are rigged. >> in the absence of evidence he is not getting money back. i'm sure this guy has no proof the game was rigged. >> right. but the police are now investigating it. >> i would be surprised if the local police uncover any

evidence it was rigged. >> do you think the local police are incompetent, remi? how dare you? how dare you be -- besmirch the fine word they say to keep the citizens safe. >> i have a respect, but he made this choice every time he gave them money. he wasn't entitled to any of it back. it was his mistake. there is a term for this. it is called addiction. they have hotlines and gambling anonymous. >> the term in the carni world is a mark. >> like you say, if you pass the barney you will defend the carni. that's the thing you say. >> and i want to point out and i am quoting the exact thing it is called giant 5.5 stuffed rasta jamaica selling for $25 on amazon. as of this tape thrg are two

left in stock -- there are only two left in stock. get over there. >> i thought you could get them straight from the source. >> i can't. >> the rasta banana. >> i go to my old carni pals. >> do you keep in touch? >> probably not after tonight after i just revealed their secret. >> out by the pier and knock on the camper door. >> i go to coney island a lot. i think we have to put the word allegedly in there. nobody else has connish ifed about the contact amount. just want to throw that out there. baker, you said you don't need this and this is a system we created. the good news is the office of health and human services says tamerlan tsarnaev's benefits ended in 2012 when his family stopped meeting income eligibility efforts. when he was allegedly setting off bombs and killing people we weren't paying him.

>> that should make everybody feel better. >> i like to bring cheer where we go. >> it is a story about federal aid and benefits and a program that runs a muck. as opposed to some other reason to hate these two. we should focus. we don't want down the rabbit hole when talking about the a you tack. about the attack. >> absolutely. remi you said there will always be fraud and you said there is food stamp fraud. as of now there is no evidence it was fraud here. >> that's correct. we don't know there was fraud here. we also said there is an absence of object fiable data that they were terrorists in the making or doing anything illegal. >> you did say that,. ji yes but any program offering assistance is going to be subjected to some amount

of waste or fraud. >> as a libertarian i disagree. >> you were quick to accuse the carni of fraud. >> i have knowledge of that. >> i explained -- i gave away sources and methods which as you know i shouldn't have done. you didn't hear what i said, did you? >> it is not that i didn't hear. i wasn't paying attention. >> it is the same thing. >> you know where else andy brings cheer to? >> the laundry laundromat? >> thank you very much. i set that up for you. >> yes, you did. >> obama says gitmo has to go. >> viewers are trying to figure that one out. >> did you say the statue seems to be shrinking? >> his stature. >> with every failed problem overseas they seem to minimize

it. >> you are thinking no third term. >> exactly. but don't put anything past this white house. >> you are telling me, brother. >> worked for bloomburg. >> that guy too. i'm getting it. i'm getting it. >> baker, you also said that maybe if one of the hunger striking detainees dies from the hunger strike it will be a red line for obama so it won't make a difference. >> you act like nothing will change. >> greg, lastly, you said we don't try the enemy combatants until the war is over. >> the terror is an end less war. they chose that war and the battlefield is earth. >> a great movie by the way. it taught me about various religious principals. >> i went and saw it three times with my good friend

kisrstie. she ate six buckets of popcorn. >> and no gays in it at all. >> really? >> not a one. >> if that's what makes you happy, andy, homophobe. >> i am done. >> see you later. ?ai coming up, bring me a higher love. bring me a higher love. bring me a higher love. not a story. just something steve doosey whispered to me on the elevator. i heard you the first time and why did it happen? >> why did they make a menu for the story president obama doesn't want you to hear.

what is the -- was the fort his last resort? they were arguing at an olive garden. who has bt been there airing -- who has bt been there arguing at an olive garden?

this photo of a dude on a date taking cover has gotten super popular on-line. if only there was a word to describe that. after a nearby customer posted it on twitter with the caption, quote, a grown-ass man -- i hate that. just say grown. is mad at his girlfriend at olive garden and has made a menu fort. the picture has been retweeted 85 billion times including on other planets. lots of people calling mr. pink shirt out for being a jerky jerk face. others bash the guy who snapped the shot and not minding his own business. as usual actor billy zane said nothing on the matter and we didn't bother calling him. discuss the in -- >> lightning roooouuuunnnnddd. lightning round. >> mike, you know when you go on dates, you are obviously

still as good looking as you are when you are not on a dates. do you often do menu forts as a way to punish your date who cannot look at your gorgeousness? >> i am married and very, very happy. >> but you can still date when you are married. >> we do go on dates. she watches all the time. >> that's a lie. >> have i never built a fort. >> your wife is huge? when i met hershey was beautiful. her she was beautiful. how dare you! >> she had to pump out those ugly, racist kids. i still haven't gotten over that. i never built a menu and never intend to. i can sim sympathize with the guy in this picture. you can imagine it is probably a blind date and not going well. i don't know. there is just something about that picture that tells me it is not the dude's fault. >> i have never in my life had a bad blind date.

every date i have been on has been awesome. it is after that where things fall apart. >> that's because you date blind people. it is easier when they can't see you. >> it is accurate. >> should the guy who took the photo -- this is another side of the story. should a guy take a photo of you in a public place and then tweet it? >> if you are in an olive garden you relinquish all rights. >> that's a good point. >> the alternative is to smack her in the face with a bread stick. this is a good choice. >> that is an unlimited amount of smacking. >> smacking her with a meatball. i think he did the right thick. right thing. he tuned her out. the soup of the day was cream of pms and he wanted to tune her out. >> can it have tasty croutons on it? >> men like to build forts. since we were kids.

we don't like conflict. that's what he did. he tuned out. >> so you are agreeing with me. >> i am. >> i think this picture was taken about 4:30, a half an hour before "the five" and i can't decide if that is eric boling or not. >> remi, just kidding, eric. remi as a woman who goes on dates a few times a year, should she, the woman who left him at the restaurant for being so childish. >> it makes a difference whether or not they have known each other for a longtime or if they just met. if anybody has had a relationship where you don't want to look at that other person. >> your clients by the way. >> look, i don't know. people say they get up and leave dates. they are going badly so they just leave them. they say they are going to the

bathroom and just leave. i don't know. i have been on terrible dates. >> she has. >> i could write a book about the terrible dates i have been on. it would never occur to me to walk out. >> i told you to walk out before. you just don't listen. >> you were with her. >> i don't know how people could just walk out of a restaurant when they are leaving somebody there. on the same token, grow up. >> i know why you have bad dates. you are a lawyer and all you date are lawyers. >> you date your client. >> you dated the defendant. you dated a cannibal. did you date him? you saved on food. >> there are rules against lawyers dating clients. as a general manager in all seriousness i do not lake dating lawyers. so i don't. i don't think the two lawyers

together generally work out together. >> enough with the lawyer jokes. >> why don't sharks attack lawyers? >> why? >> professional courtesey. >> on that note we have to take a break. don't leave me now "the joy of hate" amazon.com. if you haven't bought this book. g gutfeld.com, how can you not deny that book? how can you.

earlier this month a california fifth grader was threatened with expulsion for bringing a swiss army knife like the one used on a school camping trip. that's a funny. the 10-year-old was forced to serve a one-day suspension. he was isolated in the teacher's louping by himself and forced to eat and sleep away from the other children. sounds like my camping. questions? >> it is what is wrong with america. i am serious. it is pathetic. it is absolutely pathetic. i don't know what else to say but it is an indication of how sad we got. it is a generational thing.

every generation gets softer and softer and softer. >> you can't take a swiss army knife in a camp? >> he was the only guy prepared for the wild. >> bill's nickname was swit army because he was dating sword swallower. are they going to out lie dental floss because you can choke people? dental floss is good. remember rodney allen rippey? not him. can the families sue anyone for this and can i sue anyone for this? >> yes, you can sue everyone and waste your money. you have no claim. there should be clear rules about what you can and can't bring. it is a camping trip. if you are in school and you are at the lunch recess and playing with a knife and say that is a different story

altogether. i went on a -- >> i wept on a camping trip and brought all of my tapes of "glee." you spent time with the swiss army. did you learn anything from the blonde hair gentlemen? >> swiss army is the bar i own. blonde dudes only. i own the place so those are my rules. i can go in and say you got this? you can't get in. and then you can get in. speaking of spin, we will close things out with agame wra. it is tv's andy levy. fox news.com/red eye.

tv's andy levy, post game wrap up. >> tom, upcoming gigs ? >> wilbur theater on the 10th of may. >> where is it this. >> boston.

>> anywhere in the united states maybe? >> they could use a laugh. >> mike, what is your plug in this week? >> i will be a host on the new travel channel series show. we film in the middle of may. keep an eye out for it and i will keep everybody informed. >> you can't tell us the name? >> i can't tell you the name. but it will be big. >> excellent. remi? >> i will be on with melissa francis on "money" 6:00 eastern time. >> excellent. >> thanks. >> bill, anything you want to plug? >> yes, tom o'connor will be talking about a very committing cameo he has in an upcoming thing i forgot on the next pod pod -- pod cast on fox news radio.com. >> i can't to thank the viewers who sent a lot of cards to my mom. it made a hiewmg deal. she -- a huge deal. she got like hundreds and it made her week.

i kept end ising them to her. i kept sending them to her. that was sweat. thank you, andy. tom, schulz, remi, baker, caution. >> bill: the o'reilly factor is on. tonight: >> you came to suck the fat of our land, to take our money, to educate your terrorist sons, to steal from us. >> bill: judge jeanine pirro furious over an investigative report by the boston herald that says the tsarnaev family received more than $100,000 in welfare payments. wait until you hear this. [gunfire] >> we have shots fired. >> bill: the factor has also been investigating the horrific murder rate in chicago. does it have to do with guns or race? john stossel will weigh in. also tonight, jesse watters goes to washington to press the press on bias. >> that's just dumb.