>> have a great weekend, everybody. >> have a great weekend, buddy. >> "special report" up ♪ welcome to "red eye." it's like the spy who loves me. if by spy you mean hitchhiker and by love you mean stole by cutoffs after i passed out in the back seat. andy, what's coming up tonight, you jerk? >> thanks, white v-neck t-shirt guy barely peeking out from under that sweater. coming up on the big show, did the family of the boston marathon bombing suspects receive over $100,000 in fax payer funded assistance? and president obama says it's time to revisit the idea of closing gitmo. but does he know someone with enough pow tore make that happen? and a new hampshire man loses

his life savings on a carnival game. greg? >> andy, weren't you a giant banana with dread locks in high school? >> i never had dread locks. >> yes, you did. >> i think the mistake you're making is because i was "appealing." >> we're going to start the show over again. let's welcome our guests. she treats men getting off like it's her job. i'm here with remy spencer. if comedic -- and tom carter. and bill schulz dressed like billie jean king. and setting next to me, mike baker, former cia operative and current president of diligence. makers of diligence earmuffs, toothpicks and playing pards.

diligence, each we don't know what we do. ♪ >> you're about to witness the last desperate gasp of western civilization as we know, america. hope you're happy. >> getting weirder and weirder. did the carnival go too far? a new hampshire man, is there any other wind? claims he lost $2,600, aka his life savings, on a carnival game ending up with nothing but a giant stuffed banana with dread locks. in other words, ending up with everything. henry says he was trying to win a video game system by playing tubs of fun, my nickname in college, and that the game was easy during practice but became impossible when he was playing for the prize. he says he lost $300 quickly and went home to get another $2300.

sounds to me like you got caught up in the ole double or nothing got to win my money back trap. >> because you get caught up in the whole double or nothing, i've got to win my money back. >> he also says it's not possible that it wasn't rigged. >> it's not possible that it wasn't rigged. >> yes. he says he went back to next day and given $600, and the amazing ross the banana and now he's filed a report with the police. how can he do that? angry that for once in his life he happened to become that sucker. >> for once in my life, i happen to become that sucker. >> i know everything this man says. speaking of tubs of fun --

>> oh. [ pig grunting ] >> so adorable. they taste delicious when they get older. i just look at them and go yum. welcome back. >> welcome back, cotter. >> this guy now owns the coolest giant banana in the world. so what is he complaining about? >> $2,600, his life savings, which is pathetic. you lose things when you go to a carnival. dignity, teeth, spleen, virginity. i don't want to talk about it. very sad. i think he could probably use $100,000 in assistance from the federal government. >> teasing our next story. baker, welcome back. glad you changed your clothes.

this is quite possibly one of the greatest allegories of all time. i'm not even sure what an allegory is, but i'm sure it's important. >> it's also a got analogy and quite the metaphor. >> i don't understand what kind of carnival this guy attends that he's playing a $5 game. i haven't been to a carnival in a while, but i remember spending an entire total of $5 for the course of the evening, that including a corn dog. >> that was in 1947. >> that is true. carnivals were better then. >> yes, they were. >> any way, that was my point. $5 a game, what kind of mook does this? and then he gets some money back. >> this is what i don't understand, remy. you're a lawyer, so you claim, although we have no proof of that. how was this guy able to get money back? i don't think he deserves a dime. then he says he's going to

complain to the police? >> i agree. he doesn't deserve a dime. he's probably more persuasive than most lawyers i know, because he certainly wasn't entitled in any of his money back. it reminds me of "lost in america" where he tries to convince the casino manager to give him back his money that his wife lost. if you gamble, you lose your money. that's what he did. >> however, it seems like this conventional assumption that all of these games are rigged. as a lawyer, you probably researched this in law school, carnival games. >> i specialized in this area of study in law school. i did. >> are they rigged? >> they are, they are. >> i spent two years underkcove with the agency as a carney. i was known as the bearded naked midget. come of the games are rigged. some of them aren't.

so i think you can't make that assumption, based on my experience. >> you know which ones are rigged? the ring over the milk bottle is rigged. >> the house always wins. you have to look at las vegas to see how much money they make from us sucker gamblers. that's what he was. he left the fair where he went with his child to have a fun day at the fair. he left, went home to get his life savings and go back and continue play thing game. come on, he has a problem that has nothing to do with the fair. >> what, having a kid? what a pain in the ass. bill, if you lost your life savings, it would be a few pieces of string. coming up, i don't know. why do we -- why the appeal, bill of carnival games? you are just like me, you walk in there, there's the glitter, the glamour, the sex appeal.

it overtakes you. >> then all you walk out with is hepatitis. >> that is true. >> there are two winners in this, and it's not just the carney guy that took this guy. it's also the producer that convinced this guy to put a wife beater on, take that giant banana, put it on his stroller and stroll around the block or two or three hours going like this. whoever that local guy is, that got him to do that, that guy deserves a pea body. just do this with your fist. and that guy did it. >> it doesn't look -- >> with ke focus a bit on the banana? that's kind of an interesting

combination of elements. you've got a source of protein from a tree, and hair. >> and i think marijuana was involved. he had $2600 worth of tattoos on his body, too. that's the part that kills me. he went and came back after collecting his life savings. and i can't believe he didn't stop somewhere along the way and say please help me. i'm about to make a crucial error in my life. >> i don't think he went to a bank to get his life savings. he went back home. >> we went all the way home and realized he had it duct taped to his belly. i forgot i did that when i was drunk last night. then he forgot about it. then he went there and came home. question, remy, i love this story so much i refuse to let go.

a carnival operator says the game is run by an independent contractor. >> i told you it was rigged. >> if you call anything an independent contractor, it sounds like it's important. it's a guy with a pocketknife and a mustache. >> let's be clear about what independent contractor means. they mean 1099. no payroll insurance, it is an easy way to get people to work for you without responsibility. >> diligence has a lot of independent contractors. >> they're all like carneys. they'll kill you in your sleep with a piano string. from ferris wheels to slimy deals, before their crime they were on our dime. it's further proof that america is the land of the scam. the "boston herald" reports that the marathon bombers represented here as always by crude drawings of dog poop and their parents benefited from more than

$100,000 in taxpayer assistance. massachusetts has handed hundreds of documents over, saying the benefits the family was receiving was stunning. the question is why? isn't that right, dog who says why? >> why, why, why, why? >> wow. that was amazing. >> you know what's funny about this story, i have to make myself not care about this, because i will actually self-radicalize. everybody talks about the self-radicalization of these people. this story could self-radicalize me to become a crazed a-hole because $100 "f"-ing grand went to these bastards. you're watching me radicalize before your eyes. i don't know what i'm going to

do once i radicalize. i'll probably make a sandwich. >> a lot of radicals in the beginning of their radicalization, that's what they do. i'm a little different. i don't need this information to hate them more. quite frankly, this is the system we created. this is federal assistance and free stuff giveaways. so this family comes over. at the point they came over, it wasn't as if the brothers said we're going to do this and that. that manipulated the system that we have created. there's a lot of people doing this. >> it's almost like america is the fair ground and it's rigged against us for the customers coming in. tom, thoughts on this? >> nausea, vomiting. i can't stand these people more. you say it didn't offend you more. it offended me more because they milked the system. i think he's going to get

tuition assistance for his terrorist training. it's so nauseating on every level. >> the thing that i -- i hate it, remy, but this is -- there's nothing we can do about this. this is the way america is. it's like we can sit here and get angry about it, but this is going to happen again and again and people will rip us off and take our money and use it against us. >> there's always going to be fraud. whatever system, whatever we're talking about, there's always going to be a percentage of people who are going to take advantage of the system. we hope that we have enough checks and safeguards in place to minimize that kind of waste or loss. that's the question really. i agree with mike. i don't think that this makes me hate them more. i'm not sure i could hate them more. but that they are receiving government assistance in the

absence of any objective data at the time that they were terrorists in the making is not surprising. that's the problem with this story. we need to find a better way to ferret out and create the safeguards in our system much earlier than this. we should have something earlier. >> let loose ferrets on them. let ferrets eat them alive. bill, you collect benefits from the government. how did you work out that arrangement? >> it's an investment. you look at the pin wheel market over time, it always goes up. you have to be a long-term invels for. >> how long have you been holding on to your pin wheels? >> i forgot where i put them. but once i find them -- this is

$100,000 going to this family over five years, it's not a lump sum. it went to the parents, it never went directly to these two bastards. so while probably not great people, this is not illegal. this is the system we have wrchlt -- system we have. >> it sucks. i put it in the context of the earned income tax credit fraud, food stamp fraud. it turns out he was right. billions and billions and billions of dollars spent on welfare fraud, everything. this is the pot of gold for everybody, and it's worth filling that gold with our pot. >> i'm all of a sudden interested. >> i meant filling the pot with our gold.

and i'm not making a urine joke, bill. >> we're filling the gold with a rosta banana. we've got to take a break. coming up, what is it like to be a handsome former cia agent? mike baker discusses his new book, you'll never know, you ugly jerks. fyi, i'm banging all of your old ladies. >> why would you do that? why would you call them old ladies. >> you're not going to be able to market that. >> talk to me before you write a book. >> will obama finally get around to closing gitmo? yes, but he's reopening it on a bigger island.

he has come back around to shutting it down. just come back around to shutting it down. obama is at it again, saying gitmo's got to go. tuesday, the president promised to revisit the issue. does he think it's critical for us to understand guantanamo is not understand that it is efficient and expensive? >> it is critical for us to understand that guantanamo is not necessary to keep america safe. it is expensive. it is inefficient. >> does he also think it hurts us in terms of our international standing and lessens cooperation with our allies and it is a recruitment tool for extremists and needs to be closed? >> it hurts us in terms of our international standing. it lessens cooperation with our allies on counterterrorism efforts.

it is a recruitment tool for extremists. it needs to be closed. >> for more, let's go live to this turtle. >> that reminds me of prom night. when i woke up next to a turtle. i was in the bushes. what could i say? >> lucky. >> tom, if we close this, what's going to happen to those people? nobody wants them. >> i know. there is an island in the south pacific that says they'll take them. but even they're divided. gilligan, the skipper and the

professor say yes, the howels are opposed to it. close it. send them on their way, you know? get some snipers. that's all i'm saying. >> baker, he mentioned these reasons, the president. international standing, cooperation, terrorist recruitment issues. do you find it interesting that he says it about that, but not the millions of drones which he's unleashed? i think the drones would do more damage. >> frankly, his stature seems to be shrinking with every problem that's developing. we're getting more and more issues overseas and this guantanamo thing drives me crazy, because he ran his own campaign on guantanamo, we're

going to close this place. once he realized it was important, it went away and he didn't have to talk about it. now they have a hung eer strike. and yet he wants us to believe it's congress that won't let him close it. i don't know what the word i'm looking for that i can say on the air, but this is the perfect example of the person that he is. i don't know where else to go with this. i'm disgusted with it. >> remy, in the green room, you said we should let all the terrorists free and president obama should personally apologize to each one. i strongly disagree and i pound your opinion offensive. but go ahead and elaborate, if you will. >> i think the word that mike baker was looking for might apply to you. >> gorgeous? >> dishonest. he campaigned in 2008 hard on this issue, we're closing it,

we're closing it, we're closing it. and poof, it just disappears. i don't think he's saying anything near live as definitive today. it's in the news. there is a hunger strike and he says firmly, we're going to revisit the issue. it's just inconsistent and untruthful. >> if one of the prisoners dies, that will be his red line. >> our viewers are dying to hear your thoughts on gitmo. but only if you shoot yourself afterwards in your face so it has to be a closed casket firearm. >> when he ran in 2008, it was not a republican led congress. it is now. there is no way it can happen. you guys complain about that, but it's the fact. >> the reason he's not closing gitmo, bush spent several years doing what obama found out is

almost impossible to do, get somebody to take these people. the best way to empty the prison, let them die for the hunger sfrik. >> we don't know if they've done anything. they've never been tried for anything and we've already released a bunch that were guilty. >> we just randomly picked these guys up? >> a guy working under cheney said just that. >> i think baker is going to kill you. >> i looked up the facts that we've released -- >> on the internet? i looked it up and this is what i found. >> i don't have people working inside, but i have been making some pen pals. >> by the way, is that not the case? what can you do without congress' approval? >> try them in front of judge judy. >> yemen wants 90 of them and

we've come up with all these reasons why we can't. >> some of the ones we let go come back and try to kill us. >> you know what the recidivism rate has been on these idiots? >> then we should try them. >> you don't try enemy combatants. you wait till the war is over. >> i'm not saying it's a perfect situation. i never thought obama should have made this argument. >> what i'm saying is, he's the president. he's the president. he knows guantanamo has been important. and as you say, because you know more big words than i do, it's being incredibly disingenuous by saying i want to so badly close this. he's the president. he could do it if he wanted to. >> i don't think he can. >> we have the checks and balances in place.

>> thank bush. bush saved obama's presidency. this is bush's fourth term now. obama reminds me of quitting smoking? me telling my wife i'm going to get smoking. gitmo is his cigarette. >> so you're saying if assad uses chemical weapons, you're going to quit smoking? >> do you have a comment on the show? e-mail us. if you have a video of your animal doing something, send it. no turtles. and click on submit a video. still to come, the halftime report from andy levy. he's our tortoise. petereds with large spots. thanks, jaguars. the capital one cash rewards card petereds with large spots. gives you 1% cash back on all purchases, plus a 50% annual bonus.

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about that. let's see if let's find out if we've done anything wrong so far. hey, andy. >> hey, greg. >> what's wrong? >> that light is blinding. man blows life savings on carnival game. tom, you seemed shock that his entire live savings waste $2200.

i believe you called it pathetic. first of all, elitist. >> you're supposed to say "bunch" after that. >> i think a lot of people's live savings are only $2200 after president obama. please try to stick with the narrative. >> sorry. >> baker, you said you won't let your kids near a carnival. >> yeah. >> racist much? >> thank you. just say it. >> you did not just go there. >> how is it racist? how can you call a guy who is in idaho who refuses to go to a carnival racist? >> carneys have a race. >> in that case, i apologize. >> protected under the carney act of 1992. >> they still can't vote,

though. one carney just came out today. >> he's a hero. >> the first gay carney. >> carney awareness. >> you started it, andy. >> baker, you said the guy should consider himself lucky he got $600 back. i'm sure the operator was hoping he wouldn't go to the cops had nothing to do with it. you made it sound like the game operator, out of the goodness of his heart. i don't think so. i don't think you should prejudge this carney. >> nobody should have given him the money back, unless they were scared that they had evidence it was rigged. >> you know i don't like talking about my carney past. let me tell you how you rig tubs of fun. even though honestly it could put me in physical danger for breaking the carney code. >> dating carnie wilson does not

count. >> please don't make fun of my past, greg. when the guy takes practice shots, you put a ball in the tub, which weighs the tub down, so the ball is more likely to stay in. then you take it out and it makes it more likely to bounce out. >> because it's up stable. >> that's how you rig tons of fun. >> told you it was rigged. >> if you're a carney, you'll go farny. and indeed he has. >> that's the most idiotic thing you've ever said. >> can we just assume it's going to be dropped. remy, you said he doesn't deserve a dime, but you said the games are rigged. >> yes. well, in the absence of evidence, he's not getting any money back. i'm sure he has no proof the game was rigged. >> the police are now investigating it. >> i would be surprised if the

local police uncover any evidence that it was rigged. >> you think local police are incompetent? how dare you besmirch the work that the men and women of the manchester police do every day to keep the citizens safe. >> i have the greatest respect for the police, but this gentleman made his choice every time he gave them money. there's a term for this, it's called addiction. they have hotlines, gambling anonomous. >> the term we use in the carney world is a mark. >> if you pass the barney, you'll do the carney. >> i want to point out, this is the exact thing called giant 5 1/2 foot banana selling for $125 on amazon. >> really?

>> as of this taping, only two left in stock. so get over there. >> i thought you could get them straight from the source. >> you still keep in touch? >> probably not after tonight. >> always walk down by the peer and knock on the camper door? >> i go to coney island a lot. tsarnaev family got $100,000 in benefits. we need to put the word allegedly in there. baker, you said you don't need this info to hate them more, this is the system we created, which i agree with. the good news is massachusetts executive office of health and human services say the benefits ended in 2012, when the family stopped meeting income eligibility limits. so when he was allegedly setting

off bombs killing people, we weren't paying them. >> it's a story about federal aid and benefits and a program that runs amuck and opposed to it's some other reason to hate these two. and we don't want to disappear down a rabbit hole when talking about the boston attack. >> remy, you said there's always going to be fraud and greg, you said you put this in the category of food stamp fraud, but there's no evidence that it was fraud here. >> that's correct. we don't know that there was fraud here. i think i also said there is an absence of objectable data to say that they were doing anything illegal. but any program, federal or otherwise, that offers

assistance is going to be subjected to some amount of waste or fraud. >> as a libertarian, i completely disagree. >> you know what else andy brings cheer to? >> the laundry matt. >> thank you very much. >> i set that one up for you. >> yeah, you did. >> many viewers are trying to figure that one out. >> did you say obama's statue seems to be shrinking. >> stature, his stature. >> that would be awesome. with every failed problem overseas, he just seems to

minimize -- >> but you're thinking no third term snrl >> exactly. but don't put anything past this white house. >> worked for bloomberg. >> that guy, too. >> i'm getting it, i'm getting it. >> baker, you said if one of the detainees dies from the hunger strike, it will be the red line for obama. so it won't make a difference? >> exactly. nothing will change. >> greg, you said we don't try enemy combatants until the war is over. so never? >> terror is an endless war. they chose that war and the battlefield is earth. >> a great movie, by the way. very underrated movie that taught me a lot about various religious principles. >> that it did.

i saw it three times with my good friend kirsty. she ate six buckets of popcorn. >> no gays in it at all. that should make you happy, andy. ho homophobe. coming up, bring me a higher love. something steve ducey whispered to me today. and why did a dude on a date make a menu for the story that president obama doesn't want you to hear? [ male announcer ] susan writes children's books.

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was the fort his last resort? they were arguing at an olive garden. who hasn't been there arguing at an olive garden? and barricaded himself behind

menus. this photo of a dude on a date taking cover has gotten super popular online. if only there was a word to describe that. after a customer posted it on twitter with the caption "a grown ass man is mad at his girlfriend at olive garden and has made a menu fort." the picture has been retweeted over 85 billion times, including on other planets, with lots of people calling mr. pink shirt out for being a jerky jerk face. while others bashed the guy who snapped the shot and for not minding his own business. as usual, after billy zane said nothing, we didn't bother calling him. >> lightning round.

>> mike, when you go on dates, you're still as good looking as you are when you're not on a date. do you often do menu forts as a way to funnish your dates? >> i am married. >> you can still date when you're married. >> we do go on dates. i have never built a menu fort. >> she's a huge fan. >> your wife is huge? >> how dare you! >> i've never built a menu fort, never intend to. but i sympathize with the guy in this picture. it's probably a blind date and not going well. you know, i don't know, there's just something about that picture that tells me it's not the dude's fault. >> i've never in my life had a bad blind date.

every single date i've been on has been awesome. >> that's because you date literal blind people so they can't see you. >> should the guy that took the photo -- should a guy take a photo of you in a public place and tweet it? >> if you're in an olive garden, you relinquish all rights to privacy. the alternative is to smack her in the face with a bread stick. this is a good choice. >> that's an unlimited supply to smack her with. smacking her with a meatball. >> he tuned her out, which is what you have to do, because the up to of the day was cream of pms and he wanted to dune her out. >> does that tasty croutons on it? >> men like to build 40s.

as little kids, we liked to make barriers. we don't like conflict. so he tuned out. >> so you agree with me then? >> i am. >> can you put that picture up again, please? i think this was taken around 4:30, about half hour before "the five." can't figure out if that's eric bowling or not. >> remy, as a woman who goes on dates at least a few times a year, should he have just -- should she, the woman, have left him at the restaurant for being so childish? >> okay, i think it makes a difference whether or not they've known each other for a long time or if they've just met. anybody in a relationship has had a moment in public where you really don't want to look at the other person. >> your clients by the way. >> i've had those moments with people i just met, too. >> people say they get up and

leave dates. they say they're going to the bathroom and just leave. i've been on terrible dates. >> she has. >> i could write a book about the terrible dates i've been on, but it would never occur to me to walk out. walk out of a restaurant when they're leaving someone there. but by the same token, grow up. >> i know why you have bad dates. you're a lawyer and all you date are lawyers. >> i don't date lawyers. >> you date your clients. >> you defended a cannibal once, did you date him? you saved on food. >> i obviously do not. of course, there are rules about lawyers dating their clients. in all seriousness, i do not like dating lawyers, so i don't.

i don't think the two lawyers together generally work out well. >> why don't sharks attack lawyers? >> why? >> professional courtesy. >> on that note, we have to take a break. amazon.com, if you haven't bought this book, you're a comy pinko. how can you. the kyocera torque lets you hear and be heard even in stupid loud places. to prove it, we set up our call center right here... [ chirp ] all good? [ chirp ] getty up. seriously, this is really happening! [ cellphone rings ] hello? it's a giant helicopter ma'am. [ male announcer ] get it done [ chirp ] with the ultraugged ocera torque, only from sprint direct conct. buy one get four free for your business.

earlier this month, the california fifth grader was suspended and threatened with expulsion for bringing a swiss army knife. the daily caller reports that 10-year-old braden was forced to serve a one-day suspension, isolated in a teacher's lounge by himself and forced to eat and sleep away from the other children. sounds like my kind of camping. questions for the guests. mike, what about this story? >> it's somewhat's wrong with america. it's pathetic. it's absolutely pathetic. i don't know what else to say, but it really is an indication of how obama -- no, i'm not going to bring obama into it.

every generation is getting softer and softer. you can't take a swiss army knife to a camp? are you crazy? >> obama. tom, he was the only guy prepared for the wild. shouldn't they be commending him? >> i concur. bill's nickname in high school was swiss army, because he was dating a sword swallower. >> remy, can the family sue anyone for this and can i sue anyone for this more importantly? >> yes, you can sue everyone and waste your money because you have no claim. there should be more clear rules about what you can and can't bring. it's a camping trip. it would seem logical that you can bring this knife. if you're at school and you're playing with a knife, that's a

different story all together. >> i went on a camping trip and brought all my tapes of "glee." >> bill, you spent some time with the swiss army. did you learn anything from those blond hair gentleman? >> swiss army is a bar i own. blond dudes only. >> i can go in. you can't get in. >> we're going to close things out. america's sweet art, andy leavy. fox news.com/red eye.

tv's andy levy, post game wrap up. andy levy, postgame wrap-up. >> wilbur theater, 10th of may.

>> where is it? >> fallston. >> mike, what are you plugging this week? >> i'm going to be the post on a new travel channel show. we start filming in the middle of may. >> very cool. >> you can't tell us the name? >> i can't, but it's going to be big. >> remy, fpn this friday? >> yes, i'll be on 6:00 eastern time. >> bill, anything you want to plug? >> yes. a very exciting cameo in an upcoming thing i forgot on the next pod cost on fox news radio.com. >> i want to thank the viewers two sent a lot of cards to my mom. it made a huge deal. she got like hundreds and it

made her weak, because i kept sending them to her. that was very sweet. >> that is nice. >> thank you, andy, tom, remy, baker. caution. hope you enjoy. ♪ the o'reilly factor is on. tonight -- >> the f.b.i. continues to press her, including questions what about she said in a phone call she made to the husband after the f.b.i. started to look for him. >> what did she know and when did she know it? >> they have been searching for the bombers ifer days before the pictures were released. even then, did the wife katherine russell tsarnaev alert the feds? >> the widow insists she played no role helping the terror brothers but the story is becoming harder to believe. we'll explain. >> i always knew that it would have to be a black president who was approved by the elites. >> provocative words from supreme court justice clarence thomas. we'll