should you hold it in?

new york mayor michael bloomburg suggested fewer trips to the can. on friday during his morning radio show bloomy responded to a caller asking him for his recipe to success. >> i always tried to be the first one in in the morning and the last out at night. take the fewest vacations and the least trips from the bathroom or to have lunch. have you to be there. everybody says that is crazy, but if you want to succeed the first -- you can't control on you lucky you are. you can't control how smart you are, but you can control how hard you work. >> weird phone he is using. bloomburg does know a bit about success. she worth $27 billion which is $20 billion more than i am worth. >> what? >> we should discuss how about here now? >> lightning rooooouuunnnddd. lightning round. >> nick, how many opportunities in your career have been blown because you

were on the can? >> now we know why he was against big gulps. >> true. >> he has a bladder of little bo peep. what get a catheter to climb the corporate ladder? >> he is so full of it. >> he really it. do you owe some of your success to the fact that you haven't gone to the bathroom since 2002? >> you know, all the time i am at the bottom of the ladder. he is the worst human being in america. >> oh come on. >> bloomburg? >> it is like you like every idiot from massachusetts, don't you? affleck and bloomburg? >> he said it is like the worst advice too. you stay late at work, it is like a cliche. he said just pick up garbage as you walk by. did you see that? he is like somebody says that's not a bad person.

you see a dude picking up garbage and you will say i will give that guy a job? >> no, but that's the start of a clean city, michael, and maybe you don't understand that because you are swedish. yes, i saw you. >> accusations. >> i know. >> i saw you getting angry when he was ripping on bloomburg. you disagree. >> well i like money and bloomburg knows how to make money. i will pay attention. as an employer from you leaving at 5:00 which all of my people do and taking cigarette breaks and taking a lunch and trying to have a life, i get upset because i need you when i need you. i agree with bloomburg's philosophy that the hardest working people will be rewarded the most. >> and you can never leave and you eat. >> nothing wrong with that. >> you know what, i have to tell you, you know what it is?

you say you are a perfectionist and you get pissed off when people are not at your level and that bothers you. i get like that working here and having to deal with bill every day who never shows up at all. this isn't even bill here. i had to hire this guy. i had to hire this guy to play bill. what's your name? >> dedcirk van stupid fly. >> you can call me diet. i'm done. bloomburg does things that drives me nuts, but i am done complaining about this man just for the fact that we will miss him when we're gone. we have him to thank that we have complained about trans fats and instead of getting shot in the face. when you look out right now, oh my god. you are gonna miss this guy. ray kelly, please run for the love of god. >> it is true. >> i can't wait for andy to

help me out here. >> it is a thousand times worth it. >> you just like seeing super tall people bum will their heads -- bump their heads on the doorways. >> they are swedish. i am torn. he started with smoking and eating and now urinating. he won't attack things like pros miss skew tee which leads to unplanned pregnancy and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. he will go to the easy stuff. however having said that, and i hate saying having said that, but i look ahead of us and we are screwed as new yorkers. next topic. do tons of canines mean the end of times? according to bloomburg news they are crawling with 50,000 stray dogs, many of whom have taken home with the countless shelters of the city turned dump. the dominants breed is pittbull thanks to the popularity of dog fighting. yes, it is really popular. said one humane society worker, it was the most post

apocalyptic where there are no businesses. nothing except people and houses and dogs running around. not that you guys know. michael, what will we do with detroit at this point? >> just let it die. it is like this idea of people saying we have to save this once great city. it is a dump. sorry people of detroit. it is like it has become communist romania. there are packs of wild dogs running around. and kwame killpatrcick is in jail. just let it die. >> there were swarms of dogs swimming in the basements of uh partsments. >> i am an animal lover. i care more about the dogs than most people a lot of times. what are we going to do? we should pull our money and

go buy detroit. oh my god! we could get rich. >> could we buy something nice? why do we have to own detroit? >> that's the yn detroit is the way it is. there are a ton of casinos. >> nick, the postal service had to temporarily halt mail for fear of being bitten. it is a bad sign. >> it is the result of 40 years of liberal policies running that city. that's what happens. >> you have violent stuff on the street, dogs reading at a fourth grade level. >> that's actually impressive. >> that's pretty good. my dog can't read. >> it is just like people. same result jie. it is like planet of the dogs. it is scary. i am running out of steam on this story. >> i am angry. row bow cop didn't predict this. i do not remember one swarm of feril dogs attacking him during that movie.

before that it was the most prophetic movie about detroit ever made. secondly, why do we not have cameras on every avenue at that place? dogs in makeshift pools? we could end every segment with that. >> what is a makeshift pool? >> the pipes were stolen from the basement. the water was just flowing. they would find basements filled with water. they would frolic. >> they were doing cannonballs. there is a makeshift diving board. is that a bad mark? >> i have to go, but i have a solution. we have an issue with immigration. why not part of immigration move to detroit and fix it? >> that is right. >> if you have 8 million people -- >> we will call it new mexico. >> call it whatever you want. just give people opportunities to build businesses. >> hey, media matters, it says move them to the place where

the wild dogs are. >> you know what i'm saying. there has to be people who fix things. >> sometimes i don't think media matters anymore. >> we have to take a break. the joy the hate, amazon.com. steve gutfeld.com. did you enjoy? i'm glad you enjoyed it and i'm scared.

test

according to a new british survey, the average single dude only changes his bed sheets four times a year. that would be great if i only went like that because i can't count, but i am slow. that's basically once every six months. and guys 18 to 25 are the guiltiest. couples change their sheets much more often averaging once every two weeks. you know who else rejects hygiene? >> let's go to bed. >> bath time.

bath time. >> bath time. >> bath time. >> i don't think he likes the bath. >> that was the take away. >> iment to say -- i meant to say it is british dudes being dudes. we have the famous rivalry. ever since the old world series of -- >> the red sox of western europe. >> it is dudes being dudes. i am married and i have -- we change the seats. >> we. >> exactly. >> i have to -- changing sheets is hard. somebody has to have one end. >> it takes two people. >> whoa, whoa, whoa. i am going to take off the homeless mask for a second here. i change my sheets pretty regularly, and it is not hard to do.

>> you have a twin bed. >> and you don't sleep with women. >> i sleep with my twin named gil and that's because gil is unemployed. >> leave gil out of this. nick, how often do you change your sheets? >> i have a wife. >> i am not talking about the bed. i am talking when you are protesting. >> when i was single? it looked like [bleep] like i had coffee in my bed. >> i have no idea what that means. whatever it means it will be bleeped. >> don't bleep it. >> i used to stand my sheets against the door when they were dirty and then they would break. >> i used to stuff them under my door. >> see this is guys. this is guys. >> this is guys, and, you know -- you know, i had this huge crush on nick when i got here today. >> that's no longer. >> and now it has been compounded. >> this is young guys. once you get a little older you hire people to change your sheets. you probably has somebody who

changes your sheets for you. >> my twin, gil. by the way, gil, go to bed. you are up way too late for someone without a job. >> but men can be very, very gross. one time i had a date with a guy who wanted to cook dinner, which is a big no, no. he came out with this pot-o-something. and the entire outside of the pot, no lie, was covered in dog hair. the entire outside of the pot. >> was he from detroit? >> are you sure it was a human? >> you know, men can be that way. i don't know why. >> i tell you what though, girls are slobs too, but everything on the floor is clean. women are always clean, but they can be slobs. teenage girls can be slobs. i had three sisters. i know. but boys are gross. they are gross. they smell. >> i once got my mattress off a street. i don't think anybody can beat that. >> did you really do that? >> yes ncollege. i saw somebody throwing away a

mattress and i thought, oh i don't have to buy one. i didn't think about it being infested. >> oh that was a bad time format trusses on the streets. >> coming up, the post game report with andy levy.

well, it is time to go back to tv's andy levy for the post game report. >> is there something you wanted to say first, greg. >> yeah, i thought there was something written in here, but i will wing it because i am a tv professional. there is a guy who works for "red eye" who is leaving tonight. what's his name? >> mike michael -- michael son. >> he is going to work where? >> for wwe. >> yes, it is his dream job. he likes to watch sweaty men wrestle. >> that's why he took the "red eye" job. >> exactly. he did a great job. what was his name, michael? >> michael spasic. >> funny name. i called him michaelson. he always had a scared look on his face. >> he will all miss him. he was good. >> we will miss matt. >> good job, matt. >> thanks for everything, mark. >> i love you, wendy.

>> enough of him. isn't the real truth that they are actually taking the accused from dunham and since she tweeted that it came out as a hoax and now she hasn't tweeted so the media can't write about it yet. >> because it is dunham and they are waiting for her cue. >> it is a theory. >> and it is a good one. i do get most of asking her what is taking so long? >> honestly i didn't care when she tweeted it the first time and i don't care now. >> you don't like girls? >> i think it is an excellent show. >> i did not mean the show. >> oh. well we can talk about that

later. >> i read your blog on cooties. i know how you feel. >> it is cooties .org. >> it is a nonprofit. >> and for you folks out there, it is with a z. nick, you don't see the opposite of this as you defined as a conservative making up an attack. a conservative princeton student was sending threatening e-mails to himself and he claims they came from someone else. backwards swastik. >> it was a swastika on his face, but he drew it -- he did it backwards. >> he didn't take the time to cutoff the warts on his face. >> by the way, nobody talked about the fact that it very much seems as though overland's president knew this

was a hoax a longtime ago and didn't tell anyone. and then they went ahead and held campus events and congratulated the campus for how it reacted to this. that might be the worst part. >> and they didn't respond to comments from a couple of journalists asking about it. it seems like you should probably do that. >> but the world's worst nightmare took place tonight, andy. "red eye" is covering it. we are not going to let this go. >> he is on notice. >> she on notice. what we were talking about? >> have i no idea. oh, how to refer to manning. you said in 2012 they said prisons have to pay for gender reassignment surgery. we should po nie t out that those decisions don't apply to military prisons. >> good. then maybe we won't have to pay for the gender reassignment surgery. that's the best news i have heard all night. >> we don't know. money gnaw han, you said this is an effort to inject pc politics. "the new york times" is continuing to refer to manning as he.

that seems to be because "the times" policy in the words of the public editor is to use the names and gender pronounce preferred by the person unless a former name is news newsworthy and pertinent. >> it is really weird to have a style book conversation. i mean you have these conversations all the time in journalism. how dowry fer to -- it is -- how do you refer to -- it is to greg's point and there is a more interesting story here. >> on thursday npr decided, and they made a conscious decision to use male pronouns foremanning. npr said their thinking has evolved and will now honor manning's preferences jie. it has evolved? that's interesting. >> nick, you said manning is a traitor to his country. why does he get to call the shots? well she, sir, was found not guilty of aiding the enemy, so she, whatever you may think, is not legally a traitor. >> what was it batman, you

asked if we could put out movies for adults. there is an entire industry that does nothing but make adult films. >> well, you know what i'm talking about. >> judge gnaw poll -- judge napolitano couldn't play him because it didn't cover his hair. the secret identity would be revealed. >> and when batman was litigating every crime for his constitutionality. >> a lot of things batman does is at least -- if it is not unconstitutional it is extra constitutional. >> exactly. >> as judge would say, as he is about to get ready to become batman, it's not in the constitution. >> and also he laughs like a super villain and not a hero. >> i love the judge. >> batman, not a big fourth amendment -- >> by the way. he is back on "red eye" in a couple weeks. >> let me set my dvr. >> bill, i'm with you.

there is a good chance affleck will make a good batman and all of the people trashing him will forget they are doing so. >> do you think to mix it up they may go back to the gray uniform? >> no, i don't. i don't. >> also, this is what i don't like, the warner brothers press released said that affleck will be playing batman/bruce wayne. spoiler alert? >> no kidding. i thought that was a rumor they may be two people. >> let all of his enemies know his secret identity, great job there. quickly, bloomburg's key to success is not taking bathroom breaks and now we know why he has a stick up his whatever. and single men changing their sheets four times a year. my only question is what are ch sheets four times a year. my only question is what are they doing to their sheets that they have to change them that often? >> eating in bed obviously. >> back to you, greg.

back to you, greg. >> i heard it the first time. >> back to you, greg. >> nick dipalo. screw you, bill. >> back to you. >> what a lovely show this was. >> outta here! [ female announcer ] beat humidity for a smooth 72 hours. get pantene smooth with moroccan argan oil in a pro-v system. help lock out humidity. keep frizz from forming. go 72-hour smooth. [ eva ] ditch the frizz... i dare you. [ female announcer ] get smooth from pantene, the world's no. 1 haircare brand. hair so healthy it shines.

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but not just any cold. i only use new thermacare® cold wraps. targettemp technology delivers a consistent, therapeutic cold to stop pain and start healing. new thermacare® cold wraps. a better way to treat pain. why would you give the criminal the advantage over the citizenry? put on your big boy pants. there's a saying fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. hello and welcome to "justice." thanks for being with us tonight. it starts with the nsa does not collect any type of data at all on millions of americans